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[OPEN] bronze orchard characters askblog
[OPEN] ask questions to the bronze orchard characters to be answered in-character
Permalink Mark Unread

Welcome to the Bronze Orchard Characters Askblog. If you already know how askblogs work on Tumblr, then it works similarly to that. Basically, this thread allows you to ask questions of my characters that wouldn't have been answered in the glowfic they are featured in. All answers here are canon by Word of God (with regard to their respective thread or continuity) unless otherwise specified. If no thread or continuity is specified, then answers are in a state of being dubiously canon.

Please write which character you're addressing the question to, and from either which thread or continuity, or what stage of their "timeline" they're  in. If you don't write that, then I'll interpret that as you asking a question to the character template more generally.

I cannot guarantee that I will answer your question or respond to it in a reasonable time frame. I have full discretion over how I answer questions and which I answer.

An example is written below.

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To: Conradia.

Why is your name Conradia? Isn't that a little confusing?

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To: Zmavli

"The name my parents gave me was Asmodia. It's a common girls' name in Cheliax. When I defected at the Worldwound, renounced Asmodeus, and joined Conrad's side, it felt...wrong, to continue to adopt that name. I wasn't owned by Asmodeus anymore, so obviously I shouldn't be named after Him. During that time, I called myself Dia.

After Conrad ascended, I thought: 'Well, I used to be named after a god, and here I am, serving a god and generally being dedicated to one. The only difference is that, this time, I chose willingly and knowingly to be dedicated to Him. And also, I am rather resentful of Asmodeus for the whole causing me to suffer for an entire quarter of my life thing.' I thought that it was both meaningful and petty to, at that point, name myself Conradia. So I did.

I don't think anyone at the Bronze Orchard is confused about me having that name, since no one else does. I suppose if Conrad's church expands and Conradia becomes as common as Asmodia then it might be a problem, but at that point I'd surely be at the Silver Garden. In any case, they can just call me by my surname, Sabater."

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Hey Conrad,

Whatever did end up happening to you after the last time we met?  Actually, I probably shouldn't ask that, it's fucking Cheliax.  It definitely sucked.

But I do wonder, despite myself.  Curse my overgrown sense of responsibility.

And more generally, who's this Damian fellow?  How'd you meet him?

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To Elias:

How often do you have altruistic feelings? Do you act on them?

— Curious Sarenite

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To Vlipa:

What's it like being a sword? Do you want to become stronger? If the high priest of Conrad died, who would you go to? If the entire Bronze Orchard was destroyed, what would you do?

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To: The Misplaced Patron

"You're real? I had kind of assumed that like...you were some sort of fever dream or elaborate Illusion spell after you two left without me. I'm currently at the Worldwound now, fighting demons. Got to second-circle a while ago. Cheliax does not suck – Cheliax has the best, most disciplined army in all of Golarion, and I have a really cool greatsword and new combat spells now. Which I mostly got by giving my superiors sexual favors by Alter Self-ing into beautiful women, since I have a talent for polymorph spells.

Damian is my boyfriend. We met at Ostenso Wizard Academy. He's great. We're part of the same unit at the Worldwound."

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To: Curious Sarenite

"Fuck off. I am incorrigible and cannot be redeemed. I'm ordained now, so don't try to convert me. I'm done with Sarenrae.

But to answer your question, I don't think I have altruistic feelings in the way Sarenrae defines the term. I care about my allies because it's what Conrad would want, and because it's pragmatically useful to care about the state of your allies. If they're hurt, then that affects their effectiveness. I don't help them just because I feel sorry for them, b-baka! If they're just moaning and complaining, then they can suck it up."

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To: extent_of_foxes

"How are you talking to me right now? I only talk to the High Priest of Conrad.

Yes, I want to become stronger. For me, that would mean getting more enchantments on myself. Sadly, that's both economically infeasible and infeasible in terms of expertise: Conradia is not bonded to me unlike Conrad, so she can't as easily place enchantments on me. Placing enchantments on a weapon becomes progressively more difficult the more previous enchantments there are, because you need to have great skill to make sure the magic doesn't destructively interfere.

I would go to the their successor. Usually, I already have someone in mind. It's not necessarily the most powerful person in terms of martial capability, though. The way they think is also important, since the High Priest has veto power over people entering the church.

I would probably try to revive the church, if we're supposing that all the people who live there also died. If all of Conrad's ordained died, then presumably He would scramble to find some other people to ordain, and I would go to them. I have the ability to both fly and teleport once per day (but only myself), so it wouldn't be that hard to get to them."

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To Vlipa:

Like this! Hah!

How often does the high priest shrink you down? How often do you get wielded by experts at using a greatsword of your quality?

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To: extent_of_foxes

"I'm not sure how to explain the experience of being a sword is like, since I've never been human. Neither Conrad or Damian has cast Polymorph Any Object on me so that I can know what it's like, and I'm not particularly interested in knowing. I do think that humans are more susceptible to boredom than I am. I seem to be incapable of experiencing the emotion.

Often, most of the time, actually. I don't mind – before I was enchanted to be intelligent, I had already had that enchantment a long time ago. 

I only sometimes advise the High Priest. It's not like I always have deep insightful spiritual revelations to bestow. If one of the stronger antipaladins or warpriests are going out on a mission, then I might elect to join them by having one of them wield me. It's very pleasing to be wielded by someone skilled. I don't think I can explain what being a sword is like to you, because I don't know how to explain the pleasure of your steel slicing through flesh. It's very good: you should try it sometime."

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To Conrad:

For some values thereof!  ...Y'know, good on you for finding a way to be not particularly horrible about being Evil, with the way you got no, stop typing hot, past me's fingers, it's honestly not, even if it's not a foul trade it's still contributing to the exploitative [bleep]ers doing the thing to those who aren't interested.

...'Most disciplined' sure has a double meaning, doesn't it?

 

If you were going to become a god, what do you think you'd not do with godlike power?

Hey God!Conrad:

How many of those things have you done by now?

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To: Bronze Orchard Management

Hey, want to buy a few thousand counterfeit magatamas? They're almost as good as the real thing, and a lot cheaper!

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To Felicia:

What experience in the Bronze Orchard has been your favorite so far? What's been your favorite not involving drugs, sex, or mind-affecting magic?

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From A Curious Neutral Philosopher, to current Bronze Orchard inhabitants: What's the most Evil thing you've ever done? If you can't pick one, how do you think you came by your current alignment? If you don't want to answer the question, what kind of incentive would change your mind?

(in preference order: Agnes, Felicia, Elias, Conradia, Rendon)

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To: The Misplaced Patron

"Huh? I'm...confused. Being Evil means you're horrible to people. That's like – the whole point. 

Hah, yes. I don't mind getting punished, though. Going through pain makes you stronger. Many people can't handle it, though, but that's because they are weak and I am strong. No matter how hot your kiln gets, you're never turning clay into steel. Besides, I don't really get punished much. Damian usually uses his social status to get me out of harm's way. He says he ought to be the only one who gets to punish me.

Godlike power. Hm. Well, I would certainly use my power for the benefit of Cheliax and Asmodeus, of course. I'm very loyal. I would certainly not use it to run away. I don't think I'd give power to those who weren't deserving: those who don't strive for it. Probably, that means I won't oracle people. I...I'm not sure what I'd do with godlike power because I'm not sure what orders Asmodeus would give me, see. Presumably if I become an archdevil or a malebranche I'll take orders directly from Him."

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To: The Misplaced Patron

"God!Conrad here. Welp, I did end up renouncing Asmodeus in the end, but I didn't run away per se. I served out my whole term in the Worldwound. Well, I suppose I ran away in the sense that Damian and I used our spells to bypass Chelish departure questioning when we wanted to cross the border to get back to the Worldwound. It's very easy when you have Dimension Door, Nondetection and Invisibility. It's very good that I'm a combat wizard, so I let Damian copy those from my spellbook. He was a Security wizard at the Worldwound.

I still don't make anyone my oracles."

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To: Kirisame Marisa

"...what are magatamas? And why would we want them? We're not opposed to counterfeiting – we are Chaotic Evil – so long as the counterfeits are of equal quality to the originals. We have no idea what they are, though."

...

"After consulting our libraries, it seems that magatamas are some sort of comma-shaped design motif? Though the way you speak of them implies that they're items."

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To: extent_of_foxes

"Damian is associated with those things because Shelyn kind of has domain over the other beautiful things. Also because He's Evil. But ultimately, he accepts all types of pleasurable experience, even mundane ones. When Nero – the Damianite wizard who developed our special enchantment for shapeshifting comfortable chairs without using up tons of spellsilver – created the first successful prototype, he was awarded a cleric level by Damian, simply because He was so pleased at his invention. It was more of a symbolic clericing rather than something done pragmatically, though. Nero hasn't been awarded any further cleric levels. We're all still proud of him.

We're thinking about selling the furniture: right now, our costs of production are about 50gp worth of spellsilver for chairs and 100gp for sofas, and 200gp for beds. That's in the range where rich nobles would love to buy our product. The thing is that we're transporting our items via Teleport. That's great if you want to sell weapons and headbands, but not so much if you want to sell chairs. The volume-to-price ratio is unfavorable. Usual Bags of Holding cannot fit chairs, let alone sofas.

But to get back to your question, I think it's the food. Yes, beef stew is what most of the Cauldrons of Plenty produce, but they can also make a Heroes' Feast for twelve once a week. We have fourteen Cauldrons total, so that means that there's two Heroes' Feasts every day. We have a rotation so that everyone gets to have it. Currently, I partake of it once every month, plus a day or two. It's important because Heroes' Feast has the effect of Neutralize Poison and Remove Disease, and when you're living so close together and fighting demons that could infect you with demonic plague, it's very important to take prophylactic measures against disease.

The food produced by the spell is always supernaturally delicious. You should try it. Heroes' Feast is a more flexible spell than Create Food and Water, so it takes little effort by the enchanter wizards to modify the enchantment slightly every month so that we get a different Feast each time. I think anticipating the next time I get to eat at that table is very motivating – it's the highlight of my month, most months."

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To: Bronze Orchard Management

Magatamas let you cheat at stuff! I think they work on people's souls or something, not really sure. So I used a counterfeit magatama—oh, yeah, the counterfeit magatama deal is that they're not made by a ~real artisanal millennia-old magatama crafter~, but they basically seem to work as well? A friend and I raided a really spooky mine for the raw stones and used cheap magic to carve them, and it pretty much worked. Some "real" magatamas are probably in the bulk shipment, they fell off the back of a treasure ship or something, but I forget which ones. Right, anyway. I used a counterfeit magatama to copy some procedural memory about multicategory theory from one of Lambek's grad students, and it was just creepy as Hell, and it faded out after a while which I'm kinda glad about. Not for me, studying is half the fun, you know? I'm a little worried about the Chaotic Evil thing whatever that means, but honestly I don't think you can do much in the way of really bad unethical magatama tricks, besides cheating at stuff. Anyway, every ethically questionable organization could use a few thousand counterfeit magatamas. I'll throw in a free copy of Higher Operads, Higher Categories too because I'm not going back to that stuff until I'm done being creeped out. It's a great deal!

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To: Kirisame Marisa

"What do you mean by cheat at stuff? Is it...a Wish-type effect?" 

Excited murmuring.

"Could you demonstrate to us how to use them, and then potentially grant one of them to us as a sample so that we can independently verify how it works? We would like to choose which one is given to us as the free sample," so that we don't potentially get cheated. "As for us, we would likely pay you in magic items. It seems that you're a scholar, so you would probably be interested in magic headbands that boost aspects of your mentation, especially Intelligence.

Although this depends on what we assess the value of the magatamas to be for us, we would likely offer you a Headband of Mental Superiority +2/+2/+2 (16,000gp) for either a portion of them or the whole lot, if you like having balance, or a Headband of Mental Prowess +4/+4/+0 (40,000gp) if you don't value Splendor. The numbers describe the boosts to to your Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma respectively. We can craft headbands for you that have higher boosts, or have a different arrangement of boosts, but we would need time to make them.

We have other items popular with scholars which we might additionally offer. A Ring of Sustenance negates your need to eat and drink, and allows you to only require two hours of sleep per night (2,500gp). Enchanted mithral bucklers are popular with combat wizards, since they're light enough not to obstruct spellcasting. I'm not sure if you are one, but you might be interested anyway. We have a mithral buckler +2 (5,005gp). Cloaks of Resistance allow you to resist or throw off hostile magic more easily. We have a Cloak of Resistance +3 (9,000gp) in stock."

 

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To: Bronze Orchard Management

I mean, you can read stuff off people's souls! And use it! I don't even know what kind of magic you do around here but I just sorta use it like it's an orb for scrying magic or something, except instead of scrying someone I get information from their soul, like their strengths and weaknesses and special ability and favorite food and whatever, and then I can download some of it onto myself temporarily. They can't be used too many times in a row, need to magically cool down or something, but that's why you buy in bulk! Look, I can steal the skill from a trumpet player I know! I already stole their trumpet. Not the one they were keeping their soul in or anything.

▶ Attachment: amazing trumpet skill MUST LISTEN.wav

I have no idea what you're talking about with some of that magic item stuff. I could always use more intelligence and less sleep! Not sure why I'd want to resist magic though, you just dodge it!

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To: Magnus Sundheim

Do you have bards in the Bronze Orchard?

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To: god!Conrad and god!Damian

What are your plans for the far future? Are you worried about Asmodeus? Are you worried about Iomedae? I have deals with both of them, see attached.

If this conversation is unproductive this fragment of me will forget the information you tell me, if you wish.

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To: Conradia

How did you defect at the worldwound? Do you mean you went through the worldwound to the Abyss? What happens if you try to serve Conrad and He doesn't want you? If that had happened to you, would He have let Cheliax arrest you for defecting?

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To: A Curious Neutral Philosopher

"I don't think I've done anything particularly Evil. I'm too weak to show up to alignment detection spells right now, but if I was to guess, I think I'd be True Neutral. I've been helping the church kill demons which is both Lawful and Good, but I've also been helping Chaotic Evil people, so I think it's a wash.

The High Priest told me that Conrad turned away from the side of Law because Asmodeus had grossly misrepresented his true tenets and how Good and Evil, and Law and Chaos actually worked (although He didn't turn away from Evil). Anyway, Rendon said that he wants me to 'truly understand what being Good and Lawful means' so that, if I chose to truly follow Conrad when I'm older, I'd have done so with full knowledge. The priests say that if you want someone to be loyal to you, then you have to take the risk of fully baring what you are to them: otherwise, they're going to be loyal to a false version of you."

 

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To: Neferueten Set

"Surprisingly not! We've gotten close to recruiting bards and skalds, but none of them stayed. We have people who can sing and dance, but not professionally, and certainly not to the extent bards can do. We're lacking in the performance art department. As for visual art, Conradia's skill with Fabricate is unparalleled. We do like to make art using magic, yes. It's become part of our aesthetic, which makes us all the more desirous to have bards join us. We pay very well!"

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To: Marra

"I wouldn't use the word 'worried'. I don't like planning very far into the future – it's a waste of the gift that has been given to Us. We three are special in that We have never in Our lives known what it's like to live under prophecy, and within that ignorance We can shelter. I think Asmodeus and Iomedae are too busy fighting each other to care about Me. In the grand scheme of things, I am a very minor player (at least, for now!).

I suppose if there's something that I'm worried about, it'd be My followers potentially being Maledicted to Hell. I'm not sure whether My soul contracts would win out over the Malediction. I'm guessing not. In that case, I know You have an arrangement with Asmodeus to buy Marran souls from Him in exchange for Asmodean souls that You capture.

I refuse to permit any of My followers to suffer the indignity of Hell, so it would be nice if You could bargain with Him on My behalf should there be souls of My followers there: the soul contract lets Me know which plane they're on if I check. I'll arrange to have My church transport Marran bodies to Your church if My followers find them (although the scope of my church is small), and I'll have the Bronze Orchard people gift magic items to Your church proportional to the budget you have to spend to get My followers back, after You successfully negotiate for their release."

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To: Marra

"Yeah, I'm not really worried either. See, You're asking about like, logistics and warfare and conflict, and that's like...not My thing. It's so terribly boring to talk logistics and whatnot – I have Conrad do all of it. Being in a relationship is great, even when You're a god. Have you tried marrying someone like Erecura and Dis? They seem to have a very successful marriage. The two of us are not married: marriage is a Lawful thing, and besides, our arrangement isn't exactly like marriage, so it wouldn't be very accurate to call it that.

As a treat, I'll have my wizards decorate all the magic items Conrad might send in the red-and-blue aesthetic of your church, just for you. I think it's lovely."

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To: Nasik Eilifson

"I...think you have the timeline confused. When Conrad ascended, the Worldwound was already closed, or, at least, was in the process of being so. I defected to His side back when He was still a mortal.

At the time, I was a second-circle wondrous items enchanter, although I would often be called to help defend our fort when it was attacked, which was often. A huge horde of demons attacked our fort one day, and it was overrun. I...confess that I acted cowardly and fled rather than stay to defend or rescue people, and hid in the wilderness. It was terrible. I thought that I would die of starvation or demons or something before I managed to walk all the way to the nearest other fort, but I met Conrad and Damian and his group – Lucius and Rendon were with them.

They had heard of the swarm and knew the fortifications around the Worldwound, and they were seeing whether the fort was destroyed. If it was, they wanted to see if they could loot the items. It was – everyone was dead, except all the important people who had been Teleported out.

When I explained to them that I was a Chelish wizard, they seemed to soften up and become friendlier. They said that they would let me join them if I helped them raid the armory and storehouses for supplies. I agreed – it didn't really seem like I had a choice, being faced with this group of adventurers. You already know what happens after that, I think.

As for your other question: Conrad will only consider himself your ally and be beholden to you if you're either ordained by Him or if you have a soul contract with Him. Otherwise, you can worship as much as you want, and it won't amount to anything – you won't go to the Silver Garden. If you try to receive a soul contract and are refused, then you can try again, though. We have not heard of anyone being refused with prejudice – usually the succubus or incubus that delivers the news of the refusal will also deliver suggestions as to what steps the person can take to improve their chances, but it's theoretically possible."

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To: Conradia

Oops, yeah I don't have a lot of book-learning, sorry. I assume you were Lawful Evil before you fled and Neutral Evil afterward? When did you become Chaotic Evil?

How do you request a soul contract? What do Conrad's half-fiends (I think that's right?) do in the Silver Garden other than train and fight? Do they have free time? Do they have personal goals other than strength? What do you hope to do when you get to the Silver Garden?

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To: Nasik Eilifson

"I'm pretty sure that was the case, but I can't be sure, exactly. At the time, I was too weak to ping alignment detection spells. Conrad They Damian didn't care about the alignment of people while I was working with Them, but They did tend not to recruit Good people. Less because they were unwilling to permit them to join on account of simply being Good, but because of the Good people being repulsed by Them.

Honestly, I had my alignment checked only after They ascended, when They had inquisitors that had alignment detection at will. Presumably all the stealing and pillaging we did at the Worldwound caused me to become Chaotic, though when I crossed that threshold I don't know.

You request a soul contract by asking a third-circle cleric of Conrad (presuming you want to join His church and not Damian's) to cast Planar Inquiry for you, to let them know that you're interested. They may ask you to do some task: for Conradians it is common for the summoned fiend to want to observe you dueling with someone. After that, they'll leave and come back several hours later and tell you what the result is. If it's successful, then you'll need to have a fourth-circle cleric cast Planar Ally instead – Planar Inquiry only allows talking. Once that's cast, you'll be given the contract to read and sign.

Usually, at the Bronze Orchard, we have Rendon cast it, because as the High Priest, he has the power to unilaterally void soul contracts and excommunicate them from the church. I think we'll shift to a more decentralized scheme once we expand, though how that will shake out I don't know. Ask the clerics.

The next day, the contract will take effect, and you'll receive the boon that the soul contract gives you. There's a small selection to choose from. I chose Fiendskin, which bestows energy resistance. I have cold resistance now, which really helps when you're working at Sarkoris Scar.

We turn into half-fiends when we reach Him, but He has demons too. Not many, though, since the vast majority of them He sees as unfit to work for Him. Unlike basically every other Chaotic Evil deity, Conrad and Damian contribute to Pharasma's forces in guarding the River of Souls from daemons, though that's mostly because Their outsiders need to be there to shepherd the soulbound to the Silver Garden. Still, it makes Pharasma happy, and generally it's good to have Pharasma in your favor.

Yes, they have free time, though the scheduling is different since outsiders don't need to eat or sleep. Yes, they do. He does very little shaping of souls, but tons of selection.

You get to keep your channeling capacity as an outsider, presuming your soul isn't broken apart into separate bodies like with dretches, although the process of casting as an outsider is radically different from casting as a mortal. It's much harder, and you have to start from scratch. I'll have all the time in the world to get up to seventh-circle, though. The half-fiends currently at the Silver Garden – there are only a few dozen of them – have only gotten up to first-circle spells."

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To god!Damian

The proposed deal with you and Conrad sounds good. Since you are not Lawful, how will it be enforced? One option is for Abadar to hold a small amount of each of our intervention-ability in escrow to be given as compensation to the injured party if one of us breaks our word. Alternatively, if you as a demon lord have the machinery to verify my legible commitments, and thus only your side of the agreement is in question, it would be cheaper for all three of us if we added another deal: I will rent a few of your outsiders to defend my realm, and keep them as compensation if you fail in your promises to me.

Thank you for decorating the items you send me. It will be good for the souls of my followers.

I love assigning tasks to those who are well suited to them! Who else do you fruitfully trade with with?

What is your relationship with Conrad like? I am curious to learn about the close relationships between gods. There are so few examples and I want to make sure I'm not missing out on anything.

If information from you or Conrad substantially benefits me I will pay you according to [this algorithm].

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To: Marra

"The Abadar option is best. I think Abadar is boring, but He's boring in a good way. Conrad and I have a great relationship with Him. Well, as good as Chaotic demon lords can with the Lawfulliest Neutralest Lawful Neutral god who ever Lawfully Neutraled. Yes, I am able to read You being legible to me. I cannot do the same, unless it's the sort of thing that is very aligned with My goals. We would be fine with renting You outsiders to defend You realm, but Conrad will find the clause where You can keep them to be unacceptable. He'll throw a fit.

Abadar. He loves trade, and He's willing to deal even with demon lords. We're in talks for Him to help us set up the interplanar trading hub We're making as a competitor to Shamira's. That seems like a thing You should consider, since people would probably prefer to visit Stonepeak rather than Hell. That might fall afoul of Your agreement with Asmodeus, though. Dispater certainly wouldn't like it.

Hahaha. I proudly hold the title of the most Lawful demon lord, so usually I negotiate on His behalf. He's not the type of person to negotiate. We're able to do that because we are shaped to care about the other person's wants and desires, such that I can make a deal He normally wouldn't, but that He'll respect, because I'm the one who made it for Him. I could tell you about having sex as a god, but it doesn't seem like that is the type of information you're looking for.

It is known that Sarenrae, Desna, and Shelyn are fucking each other – or the Good equivalent thereof – and that Cayden Cailean keeps trying to woo Them to no avail. It's very sad to look at. Does the man not know about lesbians? I tried to talk to the three of Them about this, but Sarenrae and Desna only want to talk to Me in the context of Me redeeming Myself, and Shelyn finds Me repugnant and refuses to talk to Me at all.

It's very hurtful. Am I really that ugly?"

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To: Bronze Orchard leadership

I imagine that you let people choose how they are trained, at least to some degree? Do you have any set curriculums? Can you predict what kind of training will work well for people before they try it? I hear that you have excellent ability to measure improvements in strength - how do you measure Damianite virtue?

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To: Meicona Tialani

"Yes, we do. Rather than us telling people which training they should pursue, we permit them to choose whatever they want to train in. We come in with regard to sponsoring that training. 

Everyone is free to study or train in their free time, with materials paid for by themselves. However, if we feel that a person is well suited to a particular path, we will offer to sponsor their training in it. This means freeing them up from their duties – their duties now become training and studying – as well as paying for teachers (or freeing up the time of teachers, if they are a part of the church, which is more likely), and materials.

Which paths we sponsor depends on the status of the person in the church – we are much more reluctant to sponsor training for those not soulbound – as well as their capabilities. We would not sponsor a person with 11 INT to pursue wizard training (although we often teach non-spellcasters in the church Prestidigitation or Mending for both theological and practical reasons). We would sponsor either wizard or magus training to someone who was both Intelligent and Strong, or Intelligent and Dextrous, even if it might be more optimal for them to go for one path or the other because of other factors.

We also often get requests to sponsor this or that project, which we assess based on likelihood of success and expected improvement. This extends not just to training programs, but things like figuring out a new wondrous item enchantment.

We do not have set curricula for people because of theological reasons. Conrad believes that overspecialization breeds weakness. You become strong in the way that a crystal is strong: it is hard and strong, but not tough. It will easily shatter if you cut it along its cleavage planes. It makes it very easy to plan troop movements and the like – it makes the churches' forces legible – but there is weakness hidden in it. An amorphous shape prevents gaping weaknesses, similar to how oozes are immune to precision damage applied by a rogue. Therefore, we permit people to pursue whatever they feel will make them better. We also tend to disdain mass instruction and prefer one-on-one tutoring or apprenticeships.

We don't bother with measuring Damianite virtue. If someone has cultivated enough of it to be soulbound, then that is good enough for us. Soul contracted people are valued only partially for their virtue, the other factor is how useful they are to the church. For clerics, well, if Damian sees fit to award them more circles, then it means that they have cultivated enough virtue to be deserving."

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To: god!Conrad (via prayer from outside Pharasma's Creation)

*Imagines a huge human man holding a sword as long as he is tall and a foot wide at the base. He points it at a yelling crowd of human men, and a few anthropomorphic cats and dogs, who all fall silent and stare at him.*

*Imagines the man seated at an annular table. The space in the hole in the table is filled with Illusions of text, numbers, graphs, maps, human men, and various anthropomorphic mammals. He says something, clipped and stern.*

*Imagines the man at a desk whose surface is a - scrying mirror? - with books propped open on angled shelves above and to the sides. He gazes off into the distance, suddenly nods and looks down, and speaks firmly, satisfied.*

Conrad, sir? I don't know if you can hear me, my telepathy is broken. I tried to think about strength really hard, sir. My broken telepathy is what I wanted to talk about. Do you know how to make it stronger? I don't know if you have telepathy in your universe... Do you have any, uh, generic advice? Uh details... it's not completely broken, I can pick up feelings sometimes and my alpha can usually read me a bit. But I'm not really a proper part of my pack. They've been really nice to me, but I'm worried that if I can't get better at handling the pups they might not want me anymore. Can you help? What do you want from me in exchange, sir?

Obediently yours, W'Marit Opravolk 402-19-5, uh, Opravolk is registered in Earthport, on Manhome, I don't know how to specify better than that.