"I'm ready to listen, are you ready to tell me?"

"No you're going to use your creepy mind reading. I'm going to pull up a black box recording, then magically simulate enough drugs that I don't have to be here for this."

"Is that-"

"Black box I.

Matthew Perry"

Black box entry 'I'.

Câlisse, that really was racist, just because some of her ancestors had a tradition of eating humans they tried to make her take Hunting like an actual darkling. She would have been so bored. 

Wait non-combatant duties?

Everything magic or ancient history was great, but the school's library was so US centric on some things.

And Chase was already so himself.

I miss school sometimes.

Chase is too smart not to be scared of that guy, but I'm not used to him admitting it.

'In school suspension' what did they lock her in the old dorm for week? They never told me.

Deranged minds think alike.

What.

That's disgusting I don't care what papa says.

How long is this part it's hard to tell from the recording.

Wait really, 413EGG, I hate magic sometimes.

1. Still a classic Ellen stretch, but I can see where she's coming from now.

2. Cute.

3. Cuter, but I can not think about that place right now.

4. Egggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg

That's at least two meals skipped, not much for one of us, but noticeable.

Looks like Mr. Tan is going to give her a break.

Crisse, please tell me that touch was an accident.

Weird Al, classic Ellen.

'Not literally.' Why did she specify that?

It was a surfer bracelet you egg.

Wait wait go through with it fully?

Crisse I hope I am wrong, but I think I know what they were hiding. And why Zoey kept trying to tell me but panicking and backing out.

I hate calling it foreshadowing but yes this is obviously some sort of setup. I need more context to know exactly what kind.

Black box entry 'I' segment two.

I see, while still routed through her perceptions the black box has separate enough recording channels for her thoughts and sensory input that I can mostly tell what she heard as sound vs only processed as language.

I should rewatch that show, also. Put the egg in the comfy chair.

Huh, I've caught some memories before, but this is the clearest look I've had at Ellen's papa and... I don't know what I expected.

You can't be a Paladin if you don't wear pants.

I can't tell if this is just a normal embarrassment dream or if it is more of her internalized transmisogyny.

You seem like kinda a pushover.

Crisse, you don't have to be that harsh on yourself.

Roast Helot

It can't just be about not wanting to eat flesh. I can't have traumatized her that much.

Eat shit and die cun

She always was funny.

Great, she's hallucinating I hate when she does that.

It was cute how much Zoey got into that job even though she hated it. 

Mixed feelings on how much Chase is still Python posting.

Ok fine I still think the Python bits are funny.

"Good you like the taste. Now swallow, and remember the butcher died for your intransigence."

He killed a butcher just for this!?

Who do I think I'm kidding. I probably really didn't realize back then just what Hunting involved, even Vampires can theoretically avoid killing their prey. Even if it is mathematically impossible to sustain it.

But, I'm only half blind I know what a Helot is.

"You weren't doing anything productive with that jaw anyway."

Oh, that's why she puts it that way when she maims people. 

Marions-nous et faisons l'amour tout de suite.

Crisse what a simp. I guess that is basically what I said when I proposed though.

I wish she would just give in. But I guess I remember when killing people still felt like a big deal.

Oh, that rock. She doesn't like talking about Cain for some reason.

weeapweeeapweeapweeeapweeapweap

Horrible accent honestly.

'I butchered one of Chase's meals for you. He already drained its blood so the bread would just go to waste anyway.'

So how they told me it worked.

Maybe we should try this. I'm not normally into ageplay, but...

'Oui, just like mum.'

Crisse de câlisse Ellen don't hallucinate me that OOC.

Ohhhhh, that's why she's so jumpy about shapeshifters. 

I will however be touching you. You can consider that a reward.

....

ew

Wait her injuries still aren't healed, is he letting them go chronic?

Lawyer,

Girl, that is not going to work.

"Want deal, but not trust."

Ok, that makes more sense. Also, thank you just...

Just murder someone so he'll stop.

You actually matter.

Helots...

They die anyway.

But don't take his wording, obviously.

"You let me out, you don't do anything else to me, and you leave my friends alone. No interaction, with Lilith or Zoey or anyone I knew from before. No retaliation, against Chase or any of the other students that actually need your classes like Bob."

Is Hell not actually racist?

Santa is so annoying.

"I understand now."

How?

"I see."

Crisse, I hope I don't.

"When I want to do a bit the universe itself goes along with the bit. Why do you think we look like this? It's because it will be funny when the prequels come out."

I mean he wasn't wrong.

5 tasteless true crime podcasts you and your friends will suffer until that 

Ellen, Ellen please.

Please don't let this go where I think it does.

Actually fuck the chart. This is the start of a slasher movie and I'm the slasher so I get to jump out of this loser's back seat with no warning.

So when I vibecraft.

Take the jaw, eyes, and pinky as toppings for my next stop. And leave a coin half from the roll I chopped with my axe. I don't really have a plan for this part, but fake clues and ways to prove someone is the real killer seem useful. Wonder who I'll end up framing. Maybe a priest, that would be funny.

Ellennnnnnnnnnn, you actually jump started your true crime career by faking a psychological profile and using it to find clues you planted? And framing a homophobic politician.

Malade.

Ugh, I know there must be a word for this.

Option value.

Yvain de Foix

Hold on let me google something.

quoi

"Way to be late. Don't expect a tip asshole."

Is this the first chili flakes guy?

"Magic. Now do you like chilli flakes on your pizza? How about on your eyes?"

This barely counts as torture really.

Pizza bungalow trust us with your dinner.

I hate magic. We should rewatch Hazbin after Ellen wakes up.