Lily takes care of the apartment, all the little tasks that Marianne would rather not think about. She comforts Marianne when she can; she is, perhaps, the only comfort Marianne has. 

It's a small life. She does the errands, sees the same clerks every few days, pays money that Marianne earned for her. It burns in her gut that Marianne is forced to support them both. Lily has tried to secure employment; she is not particularly good at keeping it. She, too, has half a dozen things wrong with her. She tries her best and sometimes, achingly, when Marianne holds her and whispers to her and they're close and the world is faraway, she can believe it's enough, and be content. Sometimes she can even feel like she's earned it, somehow. 

(All the other people that Marianne could have bent down to grasp, to help, to hold - why should she be special?)

She wants, more than anything, to fix it. To be useful. To be able to extend a hand to someone else, the way that Marianne did for her. 

Maybe one day. Right now she has to do the dishes and make up both their pill strips for the week and work on her stack of job applications. If she can just make some money, if they can just save and hold on long enough, eventually there will be enough saved for someone to get a certificate and from there a less bullshit job and then - 

She's getting ahead of herself. Right now, there are dishes. And then Marianne will be back, and she'll have to tend to her. She's always exhausted after work. 

There will be time for job applications at some point.

The scrape of shoes and the clutteriness of keys, then the clickthud of the lock pivoting and the squeak of hinges.

Marianne has already started taking off her suit while fucking with the door.

"Liiiiillian." Her trill is somewhat strained and quiet. The sound of running water processes and she doesn't call again. Pants slip off inside the threshold and go crumpled up and scratchy under her arm.

She dumps everything on the floor, finishes taking off her shoes in bed, and submerges herself in the indulgence of sightlessness and stillness. She'll pretend to be asleep if Lillian comes in, she decides.

Lily hears her. Of course she hears her. She turns off the water and goes out to the bedroom. 

Seeing Marianne flat on her face in bed, Lily gathers up her discarded clothes, uncrumples them, folds them, and sets them aside neatly for tomorrow on the side table. Marianne - they - can only afford one good suit. 

Then she sits by the side of the bed and reaches out, gently clasping Marianne's hand. She doesn't speak.

Her hand is cold and clammy, flesh that secretes salt water. One of her fingers twitches involuntarily.

"Did we get a package today?"

Lily shakes her head. "No."

And then the doorbell rings.

She sighs. "I'll go get that."

Back out to the front of the apartment. She opens the door a crack.

There's an unfamiliar woman in a suit outside. 

"Hello, Ms. Amber," she says. "Apologies for the interruption. Please observe for a moment." She holds out her hand towards Lily, and the skeleton of a mouse emerges from her sleeve, standing up on her palm. She turns her hand over slowly, and the mouse skeleton climbs over and onto the back of her palm. 

"I mean you no harm. I have a unique opportunity to offer you and Ms. Belor. May I come in?" 

Thaaaaaat should not be possible. 

"Please give me a moment." She closes the door in the stranger's face.

She turns around and goes back into the bedroom and grabs a one-piece dress from the closet and tosses it on Marianne. "Marianne. Get some clothes on. I need you to come to the front. It's important."

You really can't manage it? she doesn't say because that wouldn't be helpful.

Forty five to ninety seconds. That's her estimate of how long it'll take to deal with the person at the door, assuage Lillian, and get back to bed.

She sits up, burrowing into the fabric until her appendages are sticking out of holes. Is it a police officer? Did she... forget to toggle her VPN or something? Fuck her cunt.

Hurried footsteps. Wide bleary eyes. "Hello?"

"Hello. Please have a look at my mouse." 

The stranger extends the hand with the skeletal mouse on it, and it raises its forepaws and waves. 

"You may handle it if you wish."

"Your—"

Moments of shattering pass, then moments of reconstruction.

"Okay. Sure." She holds out a hand for the mouse to skitter along. "Was that all?"

The mouse dutifully skitters over to Marianne's hand. "I have a unique opportunity for you and Ms. Amber, but it will require some discussion that should not be done in the hallway. May I come in?"

"Conditional on your lack of vampirism, yeah."

Holding her arm to her chest as a level perch for the mouse, she leads the way back into the apartment. Her head is bent over, trying to figure out if it's what it looks like. It didn't move or look at all like a robot, but she intends to make super duper sure. Marianne's apartment has both of: couch, relatively clear floor.

Marianne cannot quite force herself to sit down. There is a bright and sudden animus in her and with it a ridiculous sense has settled over her that — she not only knows exactly what is going on but has been waiting for it for a long time.

She has to manually move her lips to produce words and it is hard. "—what is going on?"

Lily has taken a seat on the floor rather than on the couch, and is waiting patiently.

Penelope steps into the room, closing the door behind her, and with a gesture her suit is replaced with long robes and a matching truly enormous hat. She's holding a long staff in one hand now. 

"I'm here because the two of you have latent potential to become witches capable of wielding magic. I am employed by a broad alliance of witchdom to seek out potentials and help awaken them, rather than allowing them to go through the process of natural awakening in an uncontrolled fashion, which could reveal magic to the human world."

The mouse seems to be made entirely of bone. It's smooth and cool against her skin. It definitely does not appear to be a robot.

"... And you would do this for us for free?"

"This is routine for me. I'm paid to maintain the masquerade. If, after our discussion, you feel grateful to me, then you are free to pay me back in whatever way you wish."

Yeah. Yep. That's it. That's exactly it.

Goosebumps swell down her arms and legs. Blood leaves her cheeks and she stands straight as a scarecrow. She digs her fingers around in the mouse feeling for motors or seams of plastic, but she is perfectly aware that there is nothing.

Nothing else matters but how she comports herself now. Not her job, not her money, not her apartment — Lillian still matters, but that's it. She's going to ignore the question of why (she takes a moment to cache the word) 'witchdom' maintains a 'masquerade,' because it sounds really expensive—

—also is that a polite way of saying 'I expect you to feel grateful to me and repay me and if you don't that is an enormous slight.' Questions substantiate by the dozens and are frenetically tossed out, searching for what's most urgent—

"What does it cost to become a witch? What is taken or lost? What might cause regret?"

"In your case, you are two witches sharing one awakening. There is a mana bond between you, and once you awaken you will need each other's presence every bit as much as you need to eat or drink, on pain of death. Lillian is of a cursed witch line; once she awakens she will need to drink blood to survive and to cast magic, though blood from an animal is sufficient if weak. Marianne, you will share in the Witch's weakness to fire; you will burn like straw should you be set alight.

All wakened witches are bound by Witch Law not to break the masquerade, on pain of torture, curses, or true death in extreme cases. You will know less peace; Witchdom is more violent and less safe than Earth, and there are some fates possible within it that death is preferable to, though they are rare. You will have to guard your True Names, which will become known to you on awakening. 

Those are the primary drawbacks."

Of course. 

Of course she'll keep being a burden to Marianne. 

Even magic isn't enough to change that.

The skeletal mouse has neither seam nor imperfection, and in fact retains its shape despite the fact that some of the bones are not even touching the others. She can pass her fingers completely around several of them. There is no glass or string holding the mouse together. 

"—why do we have a mana bond. No seriously, what?" That sends her ricocheting towards the idea that she is being duped somehow. It sounds — it sounds fake. She knows that sounding fake isn't sufficient to make something fake, but she's having trouble grasping the idea. She has never done any magic in her life and feels she ought to have a clean slate.

"Can the Law make positive demands? If I hear someone is going to tell their neighbor about it, do I have to stab them? Or if I think there's a five percent chance that an action I'm considering could pierce the bubble—"

"Your ancestors many centuries ago were lovers. Their lines are intertwined even now. It's a form of fate, you could say.

Actual violations of the Masquerade are immediately punished through Covenant magic, proportionally to the severity of the breach. Usually this is through the infliction of pain or debilitating curses. You are free to risk punishment as you wish. You are not required to report your neighbours and in fact would be likely to attract ire for doing so. The Law does not make demands on the whole. If you wish to avoid the Masquerade my advice is to simply leave Earth."

"How would one go about that. Leaving Earth.

Witches are uniformly capable of this?"

"There is an established network of portals linking Earth to places beyond, many of which you would be welcome at. I can elaborate if you wish."

No, she is not going to chomp at that bit being dangled in front of her. She is not going to be caught scrabbling through the minutiae. Minutiae like everything that exists beside the pale blue dot. She's — it's not that she was wrong about everything so much as she was fed lies in school and was too stupid to notice. Does the solar system even exist? What is the sun? She doesn't even know where to start trying to correct herself.

She rubs her eyes. "How many of us are there? How many witches on earth?"

"Around a hundred million, most of whom are Neutrals - the witch equivalent of a human. Population on earth is less than a quarter of that." She looks over at Lily. "Do you have any questions?"

"Not yet. I trust Marianne to ask the right questions."

The stranger nods. "I see." Then she looks back at Marianne.

Around — one in 300? That is. A staggering amount. She will have met a witch before, maybe more than one.

She turns her eyes to Lillian and attempts to beg, please have thirty-five percent less faith in me I am not what you think I am.

Exactly what the awakening process consists of doesn't matter if it's something that can fit in an afternoon. The social structure employing the witch in their apartment is something she can find out later, when she's not burning a hole in the stranger's valuable time. The worlds beyond earth could not be less relevant, nothing outside the room could be less relevant.

"How do new witches learn things?"

"Generally they're educated by one of the factions. The College at Arcadia and Hawthorne Academy both accept all witches as students, or you could take a Hespatian, Lunabellan, Watcher or Aelfheimr patron. There are human factions as well, but they know less."

"I don't suppose you have a pack of business cards under that hat."

"Alas, no, but I can put you in touch with some people. I maintain good relationships with everyone. Except the Outsiders, but they don't count."

"Are you under the employ of one of these groups?"

"I am a neutral third party under quite a bit of Covenant magic to remain so. Waking new witches is taken very seriously; no faction wants any other to have a monopoly, nor is open competition good for stability or the Masquerade."

That's the second time she's heard 'covenant', it goes in the cache.

She can feel an ignition of curiosity about the exact compact the stranger is under, but if disclosure was required she'd have it already and if it's not it would be meaningless to ask.

"What's your name?"

"I go by Penelope."

"Is that sufficient to identify you from the rest of witchdom?"

"Yes, actually."

She has a couple of ideas for how that might work, but none that seem to ring true.

"—I'm sorry, I've been awful. Let me put on some tea." She wrenches herself from her stiff attentive position and walks to the next room, like a flower turning from the sun.

"Please ask your questions, Lillian."

"I hardly know where to begin. I'll have to drink blood? Am I secretly a vampire or something?"

"Yes, actually. An Empusa, to be more precise. It's a form of vampiric witch. And yes, you'll need to drink blood to survive; your body will be animated by mana, and your biology will require blood to charge you. Or you could spend Witch Kisses."

"What is a witch kiss?"

"It's a form of crystallized mana that Witches use for trade, generally in the form of copper, silver or gold coins."

"How does one earn Witch Kisses?"

"Generally by being of service somehow. A job, or a scholarship. Or occasionally favour from a patron."

Marianne puts the kettle on and stares down at it, a bubble of cheap silvery tin. She lets her hands cup it as it warms. It's not painful yet, but she's itching for it. Pain breeds desire. Desire sublimates into focus. She needs that clarity. In any given moment, there is one important thing. One next waypoint, the satisfaction of which outweighs all other considerations—

It is not important that she asks the exact right questions, she should be able to figure them out later just as well.

It is not important that she take diligent precautions to save herself from being sacrificed to Satan. Penelope is capable of breathing animus into bone and summoning her witch clothes from empty air. The implications scatter from the facts like fallen glass. They would have been at her mercy from the moment Penelope turned her notice upon them.

So what is important?

...she doesn't know, and the lack of it has reduced her to a soft unfortunate placidity. She will figure it out. In the meantime she will bring tea: one cup and saucer is offered to Penelope and the second set placed before Lillian.

Lillian accepts her cup and saucer quietly, holding them delicately in her lap as there is nowhere to put them on the floor.

Penelope accepts her tea, and takes a seat on the couch. She takes a small sip, smiles politely.

"These... factions. I presume remaining neutral like you is not a reasonable route for new witches to take."

"It is not."

"I assume you cannot recommend any faction above the others."

"I cannot. But I can provide information for you to make your own choices with."

"Please elaborate, then."

"The College at Arcadia is a loose collection of gentle-hearted witches, which requires loose attendance from its students and provides housing and instruction on a somewhat ad hoc basis within a lush green pocket dimension. Tutition is free, and you would find friends there. It has a loose commonsense law policy within its pocket dimension. Its magic is an evocation of constructs and manipulation of pocket spaces known as digicasting. 

Hawthorne Academy is more strict. It is a full-spectrum educational institution for witches of all skill levels, within a cavern dimension off Earth. Enrollment is free. Housing is in dorms. Discipline is strict. For serious crimes, such as for example murder, execution is permitted. The Academy prides itself on turning out competent witches who are able to operate well in Witchdom. Its magic is the use of wands to store mana in limited spells. 

In these two, you would be students, with limited responsibilities. The other factions would demand more of you, but your opportunities for advancement would be commeasurably greater."

Lily nods and takes another sip of her tea.

"The Watchers, with the guidance of the celestials, keep order on Earth, maintain the masquerade that prevents open war, and address threats from rogue witches, monsters, and Outsiders. They have the magic to summon celestials to guard and strengthen. As a low-level Watcher, you would likely be employed as a spy or informant to keep tabs on Earth's conditions.

You could go to the Hespatians, who keep court near Hell in the mana-saturated planes there, and seek to learn of the Shadow from them. The Hespatians are an old and respected collection of covens and cults, each with their own ethos and plans; you would be expected to provide information or else force for their operations. Their magic draws on the Shadow, but it is closely guarded and I cannot share much of its nature with you. 

You could also turn to Lunabella, the witch colony on the dark side of the moon. All there are slaves to the Iron Tablets, a complex form of government and prestige where the achievements of the lesser reflect on the greater. You would be taken in by a household, some wealthy patron, who would care for you well and see to your eventual advancement, but everything you were would be owed to your patron. Their magic is Domain, the creation of pocket spaces. 

Finally, there is Aelfheimr, the courts of Summer and Winter, in the lush wildlands of the sidhe plane. Again, you would seek a patron, someone you could serve in the complex games of the Fae; it is from them that the magic of Covenants comes, the binding and sealing of contracts and agreements. You would have much opportunity for advancement, there, but little direct tutoring; you would be expected to prove yourselves capable in your own right as you worked to serve your patron."

"That is informative, thank you." More than she can follow the implications of in the next few minutes. Marianne feels very divorced from reality right now, and her words walk on stilts.

"Isabel, from what Penelope has said, there doesn't seem to be a choice of whether in the matter of awakening, only when. Would you like to do it now?"

"I think we had better get it over with."

She turns to Penelope, hands folded at her waist in front of her ugly one-piece dress.

"Please go ahead."

Penelope stands. 

Then she reaches out and taps Marianne firmly on the head with her staff.

Marianne Belor was expecting every part of her sing with knives, from her skin to her teeth to her innermost parts. She was expecting to be reforged to the last skin cell. She was expecting nothing to apparently happen at all, as events of true significance tend to pass.

Several things happen at once, none of them quite that.

— She recognizes her soul. It had always been there — a tapestry of immense size, of which her conscious mind is only a pallid reflection. The fact that it's now changing simply makes it apparent for the first time, like an internal organ screaming with pain.

— She can feel new shifts and balances and weights take place inside her. There is a measure of power she can feel, surging at once to her index and middle finger. There is no complexity in it, only the pure and abstract ability to do something. There really isn't much but it makes her giddy anyways. A birthday girl, eight years old, set and posed to make a wish.

— There are channels for that measure of power, empty vessels which she might suffuse. As easily as pouring tea, or depressing a sequence of letters on a keyboard.

— Her body turns blue, drenched in the color as though dipped in a vat of it. Thin translucent scales form across her flesh, like if goosebumps were permanent.

— Her soul finishes changing in the same instant it starts. The tapestry has three things woven into it now. The first is the totality of herself, who she truly is and has always been. The other two are physical objects.

Every facet and intricacy of them is immediately obvious, as though she were looking at a blueprint — no, she is the blueprint, viewing itself. On some level she can feel she is inextricable from these things, as she is inextricable from her body or her concept of self. The first is a set of thin silvery armor, its material something between metal and cloth, shimmering like a bright mirror or mirage. The second is an amulet on a chain, an inverse pentacle. Small and black, runes etched around the outer rim. Its appearance is thin and understated, its actuality heavy and immutable.

— The necklace snaps into place physically at her throat, a droplet of onyx on her sea-glass skin. The armor substantiates in the next moment, supplanting the reality of her other clothing: it mimes a dress of all things, skirts of mail flaring about her waist.

Isabel steps forwards.

Penelope taps her forehead as well.

Her heart stops. 

... that's not just nerves. She touches her wrist. She has no pulse. 

And there is a hunger, now, distant but present, and even as her body stills and weakens it sings to her of things dead flesh can take that the living body could never withstand. 

She can feel something slowly slipping away from her. 

And yet the world has never seemed so alive. 

She was meant for this.

Penelope withdraws her staff and looks from Lilian to Marianne. 

"An academic and a warlock, then. It would seem you have a patron, Marianne. And a rich one, too."

Again, it's not the clean slate that she had been building up in her head.

Her armor doesn't clink as she looks away from Lillian: it is one sleek flowing garment. As if she were a child, insisting that her clothes were MADE OF FORCEFIELDS — but this time the universe is obliged to nod gravely and accept the implications instead of pretending it didn't hear her.

She fixes her gaze on Penelope.

"Why might I have a benefactor? I," the words are painful to pronounce, "haven't done anything."

"Some witches are seeded into the world by Powers of Hell, Heaven, or stranger places. I would guess you've been touched by Hell, looking at that pentagram at your neck. That's an artifact that will allow you to contract with a senior demon to barter your services, or summon other, lesser demons to purchase the services of. I don't know who your Patron is, but work and achievements - not necessarily in Hell's name, but because you are Hell's piece - will likely earn you Favor with Hell and help you gain in strength. That's what it means to be a Warlock. Your... roommate... is an Academic; she will gain in Focus and eventually power through study, as well as through achievements."

Right.

The first time the witch said 'hell' it got tossed in the 'analyze later' bin. Does she need to become Catholic. It sounds like even running to a church screaming the whole way might not help, if things have already progressed this far.

"—are we talking about the biblical torture farm."

"It's much more complicated than that, but the broad strokes are accurate - demons claim souls, souls claimed by hell are used in service or ritual, generally this is not very good for the souls in question. It is possible to earn your way out of Hell, even as an outright demon - certain witch types claim ancestry. You're likely not damned, at least not yet. Doing good is generally sufficient, faith is less necessary. The gods are real but there are many of them and each one lays claim to some proportion of souls based on its power to do so and the actions of the Reapers. 

You are, incidentally, immortal now. You will not age, and if you are killed there will be a chance for you to cheat death - it varies by witch species, but for you two it exists. For you, a Vanir, a second body will form in a nearby snowy area and gradually awaken. For Ms. Amber, if her dead body is soaked in enough blood she will revive."

Christ on a cock slobbering on a sock.

"—is there anything else?" Honestly, she would unquestioningly believe anything at this point.

"Naturally there is the actual study and practice of magic, but that's not my responsibility to help you with except insofar as to prevent you from using it where it'll be noticed. My time is limited. I recommend you two decide on a faction to approach between yourselves and make preparations to move out."

"Witches uniformly live with their faction?"

"I mean, you can stay in the shitty little apartment in the zone where you can't use your magic freely if you want to, I don't judge."

"—okay."

She wrings her hands, tightens her muscles. Somehow she feels the same amount of vulnerable in front of Penelope, even with scales and armor.

"Is there a cordon of internet public to all witches? Or is it more like, a bunch of private servers or something?"

"There is." 

She pulls out an ominous-looking black cube out of nowhere and passes it over to Lily. "This is a HexVPN node. It will allow you to connect to the Witch internet quickly and securely, without anyone being able to spy on your traffic. You're the Academic, it should be instinctual to you how to hook up your phone or computer to it. Keep it out of sight of mortals."

Lily hastily drains her tea and accepts the cube.

"Thank you, Penelope." She stays firm for a moment longer.

"—would you mind giving us some privacy?"

"Not at all. I'll just wait outside."

Her hat, dress and staff vanish, replaced by her suit from earlier. She walks over to the front door of the apartment and lets herself out.

Lily looks seriously at Marianne.

She actually meant for Penelope to fuck off, but whatever.

She holds out her hands for Lillian, palms facing the ceiling and fingers slightly bent.

Lillian leans in and clasps them firmly, holding on tightly. 

Yes, this is real. They still have each other, even if everything they knew has fallen away.

She lays her chin atop the very center of Lillian's head, and leans on it only slightly.

"Door-to-door salesmen these days sure have the moves. Or was she a Mormon? Do you suppose all that Hell business was an elaborate Mormon plot to get converts?"

The corner of Lily's mouth turns up and she giggles softly.

"Hell of a scheme." She leans in and lays her forehead against Marianne's. Her breath is still. She's starting to go cold already. 

"... if this is true, we need to earn Witch Kisses so I can survive. That or start owning animals." She smiles, just a sliver. "That makes things simpler, in some ways. Harder in others. I wonder what the Witch job market is like?"

She squeezes Marianne's hand. "I have faith in us, come what may."

"Are you thirsty? Let me check if I have blood and you check if you have magic."

Marianne wanders kitchenwards for a stabby item. Her scales looked kind of flimsy and she is quite sure her armor won't cut.

"A little. Something's definitely happened to me, let me just -"

She gets to her feet, picks up her teacup, and then - something instinctual happens - and she's in the kitchen, holding her hand over the knife block. She barely processes the motion, it just happens, faster than any human could do it.

"Please don't injure yourself for me. I don't know how strong my - instincts, are. We shouldn't take the risk."

"Pff, I could take you. Okay, how about we check if demons have bloo—"

No. Some distant, less playful part of her clamps down hard. She is not SUMMONING DEMONS on the SAME DAY that she discovered THAT DEMONS EXIST. Her eyes flit up to the ceiling with annoyance and her head rolls around.

"Let me take a minute and figure out what I have. Maybe I have a blood spell for my little blood god and this all ties up nicely, who knows? Go see Penelope off."

She should be taking this more seriously, she knows.

But it's hard not to be happy. Straightforwardly uncomplicatedly happy.

Something good happened to her.

"Alright."

Lily goes and opens the front door of the apartment.

Penelope is leaning against the wall outside.

"Thank you for all your help, but we'd like to handle the rest of this on our own now."

"Fine by me. Enjoy your new lives."

She leaves.

Marianne Belor is a well and around her sit eight empty buckets, which she had noticed. What she hadn't is the lack of rope.

There is no mental action she can take, no stimulus she can enter that will let her direct the power nested into her into doing anything. She is flipping through a jet console and none of the controls are working. If she could find a switch that blew her head off and it worked she would flick it just for the satisfaction.

She feels like she has a hangover and she hasn't even gone to sleep yet.

"Lillian? The thing you did in the kitchen, can you do it again?"

Lily closes the door and comes to Marianne's call. 

She still has the preturnatural speed.

"What is it?"

"It's not working!! Do I need to call a number to activate it."

"Maybe you just need training? It's not obvious to me how to use mine either, there's some instinct to it but I don't know how anything works or what it does. So I'm holding off for the moment."

"Okay, grab your computer. Or sit in your room, I don't care. I'm going to research my problem, you go figure shit out. I don't care what shit it is you figure so long as it's out."

She fetches her laptop from her room, flomps on the couch with an elbow resting on the HexVPN, and tries to connect.

There's a new network listed called '01zYf9SGcGJW' which opens to an equally abstruse password engraved on one face of the cube.

Marianne Belor doesn't... actually know the names of any witchdom sites. She feels like a kid again, on the dark web for the first time.

She opens Google to search for 'new witch'—

—and is promptly redirected to an off-white page of corporate appearance. An animation of crisscrossing grey lines plays, then text fades in.

ALPHAZON

Thank you for setting up your HexVPN! The internet beyond the hexwall is at your fingertips.

Please read and accept our Privacy Policy to continue. ▢

Sign up to start using HexVPN

Email Address
_________________

Password
_________________

Password Requirements:
✕ At least one lowercase letter
✕ At least one uppercase letter
✕ At least one digit
✕ At least 12 characters in length

Almost there!

Check your inbox and confirm your email. Then you'll be directed back here to continue signing up.

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In order to protect the security of your account, please enter your phone number.

(⬜⬜⬜) ⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜

Standard carrier message and data rates apply.

—look, she is not signing a wizard's terms of service an hour after learning about Covenants.

She can read the document as carefully as she wants, but she's no genius.

She doesn't know how she'd learn anything further about witchcraft without the VPN, but she is just not doing that. If she has to go out into the street and pay a homeless guy to poke the checkbox, she'll be getting her coat now.

Please don't go harass homeless guys! Look at this first section:

No part or whole of this Privacy Policy may be considered valid if enforced by Magic, nor if enforced by any Capability beyond mortal means.

Are we good?

Thaaaat does look pretty airtight.

It does seem kind of unlikely that Penelope would leave her an Evil Contractmaking Box instead of just having them sign a document in exchange for awakening. And maybe the homeless guy thing wouldn't work anyway, it'd probably just recognize her anyways right—

—fine. ☑

Marianne Belor is pretty sure witches can find her without her phone number, Penelope already did. And she said — it clicks into place now, that just the string 'Penelope' is sufficient to pick her out from twenty five million other witches.

It would be cheap and could plausibly conceal her if she's guessing wrong about how magic works but — fine, she fails the marshmallow test. She's not waiting until Monday to get a burner, not when she was just dropped headfirst in a box of the coolest toys in all existence. Email is disposable on principle.

You're connected!

Marianne is sent to the Alphazon landing page: the conglomerate that has blessed the world with the wondrous utility and convenience of the HexVPN. Unlike mortal corporate entities, Alphazon makes no attempt to skulk behind a thicket of subsidiaries. All credit and dues are paid to a single banner and that banner flies high.

The page is negative space and shadows and gradients, colorful splashes for logos and dropdowns.

It's disappointing. Somehow, for some reason she was expecting more.

ALPHAZON

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A Better Future For All

As an integrated arcanotechnology company, we are committed to using the power of our platforms, our people, and our reach to create positive change and a more equitable society. By supporting local communities, our teammates, and our planet we can help create a universe of open possibilities — so together, we can build a future that benefits generations to come.

Learn more.

[...]

She hovers the Products dropdown.

Gold Card

Integrated Prosthesis→

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→ marks expansion into further menu.

Prophecy-aided search, please.

As a courtesy, Alphazon offers each new user one free query. You have one remaining. Purchase more.

To search the unfiltered internet without divinatory assistance, you may do so through Alphasearch. Learn more.

[...]

Marianne holds still for a moment, rests her fingers over the keyboard, types 'witch can't use magic solution' enter.

Meanwhile in the other room, Lily has used her single free query to find a different witchy search engine. Into it, she types:

The College At Arcadia

Marianne's screen turns grey and a loading animation plays over it for the next two minutes, then it goes through.

> That is a sufficiently personal problem that you may wish to seek the benediction of a professional healer.

Find a Alchemist | Find a Necromancer
Ask questions, discuss your situation, seek solutions.

Best Healers Near Me - wizdoc
Find a healer from our curated network of trusted holistic practitioners. Search by expertise, service and location, including virtually.

Schedule an Appointment with Alexis Edusinore Today
Tapping into our hearts is where Alexis begins each session. Her virtual healings provide restoration for our body and...

Feeling Spiritual Pain After Casting? Can't Use Your...
Here's what you need to know about five key alternative medicine modalities—

Loss of Magic Function: Causes, Types, and Treatments
Let’s be real, we all have spells that fail. Yes, even witches who have been practicing their whole lives...

[...]

The college and its affiliated projects maintain an enormous presence.

The College At Arcadia
Arcadia is the preeminent witch's college, playing host to many open-source projects and extracurriculars. Come down today and... 

Arcadian Student's Union
Contact campus police or your local representative. We're here to help.

Library Arcadia
The largest single repository of open-source witchery on the Hexnet! Free with your library card!

Transport Arcadia
Transport Arcadia links together the globe and points beyond with our safe and free portkey and gateway systems. 

The WARDEN Project
Open-source warding runes. Don't put your safety in work you can't check.

Arcadian Adult Playground Club
A modern witches' alternative lifestyle community for the sexually adventurous. 

Project Lucidity
Developing the most realized and deeply detailed Digicasting environment in all the worlds.

Architecture and Planar Studies Club
Designing Arcadia's environments! Vote for next year's theme today!

Witches Helping Witches
The Witches' Hobbyist Club. We share materials and knowledge both. All Arcadians welcome!

End Soul Debasement
Against Curses, Consortation, Necromantic or Charmed slavery, sacrificial rituals, and other abuses of magic. 

False-Matter Realization Project
Making dreams a reality, in collaboration with Lunabella. 

Help For Humanity
Working within the bounds of the Masquerade to improve the conditions of the average human, in collaboration with ORC. 

Witches For Freedom
Freedom is a basic right that should be given to all sentient beings. Contribute to the cause today. 

Hex Everything Club
Yes, we hexed the moon. Join today and get cursing with the best! 

Mimi, Oread and Appreciator Alliance
The #1 Arcadian social club! For when you just need to pet or be petted.

The Search For Annie Mae
Looking for Arcadia's lost founder across many dimensions and countries.

[...]

"I was kind of hoping you would use your magic to diagnose the problem. Perhaps I have my optimism dial set a little high here."

She reaches into her head and ticks it down two whole notches, then spends some time clicking through the wizard equivalents of WebMD.

She could dive into any of these links if she wanted to, but right now she needs general information. 

She searches for "Hawthorne Academy". 

Hawthorne Academia
Since its founding in 1221, Hawthorne has been Earth's leading light for research in witchcraft, dedicated to sharing and expanding...

Research and Innovation at Hawthorne Necro
HU provides a range of services that enable the research success of faculty, staff, and students — encouraging innovation and mystic development through...

The House
Press and Information Office of HTA governance.

The Mysterial Almanac
Daily positions of celestial bodies and seasonal and local effects on casting. A Hawthorne branch.

Bogrine Marketplace
The oldest neutral Witches' Market in the world. Talk to an assayer today, or browse our online store. A subsidiary of HT Academia.

Amaryllis Mentors
The foremost placement and tutoring program for Hawthorne hopefuls. Pass your potential testing with flying colors.

The Frivolous Sorority of Helák
Come dance.

Glittering city of learning or regressive political smokestack?
Witchlings are the face of our future, but may be vulnerable to certain rhetoric. What are they being taught?

'The only way to survive was to surrender' A decade inside the cult of...
When Marise stepped off the train into the gaping chasm beneath Greenland, the hairs on her arms standing high, the first thing she noticed...

Witchipedia
Hawthorn Shrubs and trees of the genus Crataegus provide many ingredients, the most common of which is haws, the fruit of...

Starwest Botanicals Hawthorn Berries Whole, 1...
Best organic natural herbs. Starwest Botanicals uses only the finest quality herbs in...

And the other factions...?

The Virtuous Order of Watchers
Report spiritual visions and prophecy receipt or calculation. Kiss bounties.

[...]

Iron Tablets Home
Learn about your place in Lunabella...

[...]

Lunabella Tourism
Behold the majesty of Earth from space.

[...]

The Hespatians maintain no web presence, only mentioned in endless loops of scare articles.

Aelfheimr nominally has a government website but it looks like something from the eighties.

Okay. 

She's going to need to do more research on the factions, but "Witches Helping Witches" and Witchipedia together should definitely be able to teach her something basic about magic, right...?

She spends some time clicking through tutorials, finds a basic potion recipe using only common household ingedients and tools that should theoretically be simple enough for even a newly-awakened Academic witch. Apparently it's the witch equivalent of a glowstick; it glows pink. That's all it does.

She goes into the kitchen and starts working.

Okay, she has some hypotheses for her thing now.

It... didn't feel like a thing she could solve just by trying super hard, like a numb hanging arm that won't take commands. But she's still going to try super hard anyways because that's who she is as a person.

She lets her eyes flutter closed and turns inwards.

Within Marianne Belor's soul sit eight wells. In each of those vessels sits the crackling abstraction of power. There is no nuance to it: no equations of electricity or gravity. It is pure more than even a concept could be, for ideas can be tainted by other ideas. Were Plato to be looking over her shoulder, she has the idea that he would be blushing.

She can touch the power, certainly. It just doesn't respond to her will. She dips her fingers into the ontologically simple sublimation of catalysis and it feels like cold water. She demands and coaxes and dances inside her mind and pleads. She feels faintly broken.

Also newly arrived in her soul: a set of very weird but cool armor and a necklace that smells faintly of smoke. Come to think of it, she's not sure how she substantiated those. She thinks back to it and sheeee wasn't especially trying to do that. Maybe Penelope did it for her — she didn't seem very surprised at Suddenly Armor. Or maybe witches are just more stoic. They are immortal, so the demographic would skew older...

Marianne opens her eyes with a headache.

Lily has gotten out all the ingredients and the water she's put on the stove has just begun to boil.

She has strawberries and she's supposed to mash them to paste. A fork will do. Then she needs to mix in the salt and the butter and put it under a light, the brighter the better, and let it sit for five minutes. (She steals Marianne's sunlamp for that.) While she does that she needs to chop pecans into milk and eggs and put that mess into the boiling water and stir and add mana until she gets a thin brown liquid, then add the lightbearing strawberry paste and make this gesture illustrated in the video with the spoon repeatedly. The mixture should gradually pinken and turn luminous...

... And it does seem to be turning pink. Remove from heat and allow to cool to finish. 

She also feels like she's spending energy, indefinably. She's a little... it's not quite hunger the way she knows it, but there's an emptiness there. 

A tall blue woman in a silent armor-dress places two cold fingers in between Lily's shoulderblades.

"Hiiiii Isabel. Got any statuses to report?"

Lily closes her eyes for a moment and takes a breath.

"Sorry, you startled me. I'm just finishing a potion here. It's not anything to write home about, just a pink glowstick, but I wanted to - see it for myself, you know."

She points at the liquid in the pot, which is just now starting to glow a little. 

"It looks like it's working."

She peers over Lily's shoulder. "Oh gosh, you are so far ahead of me! I'm embarrassed."

(She realizes she's handicapped again. Starting with yet another disadvantage. She doesn't suppress her facial expression standing behind Lily as she is, but keeps the tremble of irony from her voice.)

"So there's recipe blogs out there, or something? Do you need grocery money?"

"I found a group called Witches Helping Witches. They have some very basic recipes for free - I get the impression this stuff is common knowledge among witches. This one has an obvious effect, so I tried it first; the other ones they had were like cold cures and so on - there was a warning not to attempt more advanced potions before you get your mana control down better, apparently there's some kind of internal ranking system for witches - Academics generally have an instinct for potions, is why I thought it would be safe, and the dangerous stuff takes more specialized ingredients -"

Lily cuts herself off. "Sorry, I'm rambling. There are better ingredients I could get at a witch market, but I would probably just ruin them if I tried right now. You need training for anything beyond what you'd be able to find over the counter at a mortal drug store."

"I still can't believe you were Assigned Scientist at Birth, giving you scientist instincts — or do you suppose you were marked like me? Is some fucker running around bopping people with scholastic potential?"

She touches her cheek. "The hypothesis space here is slightly broad. I would like to sit down and read witchipedia for eight hours but I am sooooomewhat distracted with the personal issue."

"Did you learn anything else relevant to the short-term?"

"For faction it's looking like Arcadia or Hawthorne are the serious choices. Hawthorne has placement tests and scandals and sororities; Arcadia seems more of a community college kind of place, though they do do research. I'm leaning Arcadia right now but that might change. There's an open source warding rune project out of Arcadia that implies we should probably look into some form of self-defense; I also found a free witch transport website - I have it in a tab right now, I don't know if we want to try that yet."

Marianne instinctively tuned out Penelope's noise about factions. Her brain is too useful to her to have politics in it!! She should probably disable this instinct.

She draws circles in Isabel's hair with a nail. "You're doing amazing. Read anything about Hell?"

"Not yet. I should really investigate that, I'm just kind of - caught up in what we're going to do about the practical things, of which "summoning demons" is probably not one. Like, are you going to go back to your job after this? I want you to be happy and that life isn't it, I see it on you every day. I need to figure out how to make Witch Adderall, it must be possible, probably better than actual adderall, and sort out the blood thing, and - there's a lot to be done. Help me prioritize."

"Sorry. I've been... the universe is cockteasing me. Oh here you go, you're secretly a witch. But you can't actually do magic, hahaha!! I'm infuriated and spent and it's only been like two hours."

"The prophetic search, did you see that, suggested I see a healer. So I've been looking at what witchdom has to offer and while it doesn't explicitly say so on their websites, I've gotten this distinct sense that none of them take Medicaid."

"But apparently Hell has filed adoption papers behind my back, so I was thinking maybe that comes with health insurance? In which case I think maybe actually yes, summoning demons might be a practical thing to do."

"That sucks. I maybe wouldn't petition Hell for money but there's probably someone who'd be able to help - or at least a job that'll let us earn witch money...

... And you can't go back to your job at Wells Fargo while you're blue. 

I need to get on the line to Witches Helping Witches and ask them for advice. This kind of thing happens all the time, right, there'll be some kind of solution. I hope."

"Baby, I know nonprofits. They'll give you a word document of four or five referrals. Two of them will be — disconnected lines, waitlist, not taking new patients, whatever it is. The others will be happy to waste hours of your time playing phone tag only to refer you someplace else on the list. You can leave them a voicemail if you want, but don't think of it as an out."

"—I really don't expect my benefactors to give me fancy gifts only to murder me two hours later. But plausibly I should do a bit more research, maybe go somewhere secluded so they don't have a murder outlet."

Lily sighs. "It's worth a shot. But you're probably right. I just feel like relying on actual literal Hell is going to end badly."

"And for your other question, of course I'm not going back to work tomorrow. I'm going to bed, bite me if you need anything."

"Alright." Lily smiles. "I'll get calling around."

She looks over at the stove. "Now, what to do with the glowy potion. For some reason I think pouring it down the sink would be bad."

On her way back to her room, Marianne lifts up the HexVPN and smiles at it, imperfect as it is. She rotates it to a particular face and leans in to give the engraved password a kiss. It's a good feeling, cold metal and precise indentation under her lips.

"Thank you," she whispers, fingers lingering on one sharp corner.

She heads to bed and lays flat and still.

Lily tries calling a couple places, but it's too late in the local timezones Arcadia and Hawthorne sync to; everything is closed right now. 

Alright, she'll join Witches Helping Witches' chatroom and ask around there. Someone should still be on this late, right?

Hi all! I'm a new witch and I have a couple, uh, immediate problems that I need help with. Me and my roommate both were awakened today and now I need blood and she's blue and having trouble casting. I was able to make a potion so my casting is fine but does anyone know anything about witches who aren't able to cast? Also my roommate is not going to be able to go back to her mundane job, which pays our rent, so we have kind of a lot of problems right now. Does anyone have any advice?

That sounds like a real mess you've been dropped into. Unfortunately this group isn't really a support group so much as a study group, but I can direct you to one or two things.

1. You can buy Blood Apples imported from Lunabella at most witch markets and they're a blood replacement for anything that needs it. 

2. Your roommate sounds like they have a casting dysfunction. It's rare among witches but some of us can't use magic beyond rank 0. Try getting her to summon her mothergifts, mint Kisses, or have her send a Sending to you. Even a rank 0 witch should be capable of those magics. If none of those work, something more serious is wrong and you should consult a healer. 

3. There are job boards in Witchdom just like in the mortal world. If you're newly-awakened I would take a courier job, there are plenty of people who want things delivered and all you need is the ability to use the public portal system, which even a rank 0 witch can do.

4. Don't let your blue friend go out in public without concealing her skin; the Veil might catch it but it's better to be safe than sorry. 

5. In the longer term Arcadia and Hawthorne provide housing to students, or you can get Witch Kisses converted to mortal money if you need it. 

Here's the basic Witch Kiss minting diagram. It's probably the best test. Good luck!

Thank you so much, I was really afraid I'd have to feed on animals or something. I'll ask my roommate to try your tests when she wakes up.

If I'm trying to figure out magic for the first time, what should I do?

Get your capacity tested so you know your Rank. If you're rank three or above Hawthorne will accept you; otherwise Arcadia is happy to have you. You'll probably have some form of magic that comes to you naturally as a talent; what kind of witch are you?

I'm told I'm an Empusa Academic.

Empusa, Empusa... that's rare. I should have guessed, with the needing blood. I think one of your affinities is probably Blood - let me check the chart for Blood affinity, it's rare too...

Chart says you should have affinity for, well... Necromancy and Consortation... Oh, and Hexes! Hexes are good. I would try Hexes first.

You probably also have Academic instincts. That covers Alchemy, Runes, Witchery, Aethernautics, and I think Portals.

I know I have Alchemy at least. Are there any guides to the rest?

I wouldn't spend a lot of mana before getting my hands on some Blood Apples, in your case... But you could test for Wild Gifts. A particularly common one for Academics is Prestidigitation - it's a suite of minor magics that lets you create 2d illusions, clean or soil things, heat or chill food, and make little false-matter objects. Wild Gifts don't generally cost mana, they're ingrained in your soul like a Warlock's relics. Here's a link to a gesture-diagram for Prestidigitation and here is a list of common Wild Gifts and how to test for them. 

I'll try Prestidigitation now. Thanks for your help.

It's nothing. Always happy to help a new witch. 

I do have to go to bed soon, though. I need mana for tomorrow, you know how it is.

I think I have enough to keep me busy. Maybe I'll see you around later.

Maybe, yeah. Welcome to Witchdom, anyway.

Thanks again.

And she starts trying the hand gesture for Prestidigitation. 

It definitely seems to be doing... something. She can feel her soul reacting to it. 

This could take a little while. 

She closes her eyes, and focusses. 

This time, it works. A stone appears in her hand, smooth and featureless - and when she opens her eyes to see it, it's gone again. 

She tries again. This time she's able to conjure the pebble while she watches. It crumbles to dust the moment she takes her focus from it. 

Okay, that's cool.

What else can she do?

She goes back to the list of Wild Gifts, intent now, focusing hard on each test exercise as she progresses. 

Nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing - 

- wait, that one worked. Which one was that again?

Maid Hand

Create psychological constructs, manifest as unseen telekinetic masses. Each construct is capable of autonomously handling basic acts of service, comparable to a minimally competent maid or butler. Responsive to commands and orders, but will continue to work until explicitly dismissed or re-tasked. It's possible but advanced to set conditions for dismissal. The user is always aware of where their own constructs are; if you want them to be visible you can give them clothes to fill out as though they had human shape. Most users can only manifest up to 3 at once; ranks in Hexes and Psychotics contribute more constructs at a 1-per-rank ratio.

... She's never going to have to do the dishes again. 

It's strange, the things that have the most impact on you.

- What's more, this is a Wild Gift. Not everyone can do this, and it's obviously useful. Witches probably have other ways of replacing manual labor already, but nonetheless, she can probably sell use of this somehow. 

Things are starting to look up a little.

... Now that she thinks about it, what time is it right now?

She checks on her computer. It's one AM. 

She's not tired. 

Can she sleep?

She had better check.

She lies down in bed next to Marianne, and closes her eyes.

Time passes.

No, she cannot sleep. She doesn't feel the slightest bit tired.

She gets up and searches for "Empusa" on Witchipedia. 

Empusa

---

This article is a stub. You can help Witchipedia by expanding it.

Empusa are the descendants of a pruned vampiric lineage that was born from intense negative emotion and torment. Few exist in the present day.

Contents [show]

Physical Characteristics:

---

At the point of awakening, Empusa become fixed indefinitely in appearance.^[1] They do not age; while they can manually replicate muscle movement and nerve function it is unnecessary to their survival. Empusa can be distinguished from mortals by their pallid appearance, glowing eyes, and hollow fangs.

Empusa are capable of speed in excess of mortals, increasing with the amount and quality of blood they have stored in their soul.^[2]  They can also use stored blood to regenerate physical damage to their bodies. Rarely an Empusa may manifest Wild Gifts of vampiric nature: most commonly extreme speed and strength, the ability to see without light, or the ability to self-transmute to mist.^[3]

Spiritual Characteristics:

---

Most Empusa are aligned with the Blood and Necrotic affinities;^[4] in rare cases they may also align with Wind.^{[citation needed]}

Empusa have a definitively larger capacity for mana than Neutrals and charge very quickly when feeding. Empusa draw mana from blood; their feeding is most effective when it consumes the soul of a sentient being. Lunabellan Blood Apples can serve as a substitute for everyday needs.^[5] Unlike most witches, Empusa rely on mana to persist, and will cease to maintain animus if not fed a steady amount of blood. They may also be reanimated from a whole or partial body by being soaked in blood.^[6]

Glowing eyes?

She goes and looks in the bathroom mirror.

Predictably, she has no reflection!

Well isn't that inconvenient. 

She'll have to check with Marianne and maybe find her sunglasses.

....sheeeeeee did not at any point turn any of the lights on after she got back up again. 

She looks at her hand. It's as clear and crisp as daylight. 

- That's a vampiric Wild Gift. 

If she has that, what else has she got?

What does she have around the house that's really heavy... She can try to lift the couch.

It's not not heavy, but she can pick up one end much more easily than she would have expected.

She sets it down again carefully.

Sheeee has absolutely no idea how she would test being able to turn into mist. Let's set that aside for the moment. 

Wind affinity. [Citation Needed], but it's much more her than blood or necrotic. 

She clicks through to the page on Wind affinity. 

Wind Affinity

This article is part of a series on Magical Affinities.

Wind Affinity is a characteristic of the awakened soul, defining its liaison with the primordial force of wind.

Contents [show]

Origins:

---

Magical affinities are natural features of the soul determined by witch lineage. Wind affinity can be found in sirens, sylphs, aurai, erinyes, and some dravnir.^[1] Affinities are a fixed quality: it is not possible for a witch to have a "stronger" or "weaker" affinity.

Effects:

---

Witches with a wind affinity have instinct for windcalling. The trait may increase the likelihood of manifesting certain Wild Gifts.^[2] Sorceresses may also be more likely to manifest these gifts than other witch types.^{[original research?]}

[...]

She clicks through to the article on Windkeeping, and scrolls through the basic exercises. 

It looks like the simplest thing to start with is just... conjuring a light breeze. It'll cost her mana, but that's only if it works. Which would be a major discovery.

She closes her eyes and focusses.

The wind flows from right to left, then stops, then flows from left to right. It's not much; just a gentle, cool breeze. 

But it's there and it's real and she made it. 

She breaks out into a grin despite herself. Theoretical magic is so cool!

And she has an affinity that isn't just for death and devils.

So. What now. She could practice more magic, but it would drain her mana. She could search for more Wild Gifts. She could look for the witch job boards. She could find her sunglasses. 

Let's search for the sunglasses first, that's going to be necessary whatever she does. It's not smart to drain her mana further right now, and the list of Wild Gifts is very long. After sunglasses, the witch job board.

The sunglasses take a little while to find, but it's still not morning yet. 

She gets back on the internet and searches for witch jobs.

What does "Courier" get her?

Summer Broom Courier (FT)
Transport Arcadia
Rosa, Arcadia

Import Shopper
Blue Star Ingredients
Valerian, Hawthorne

Motorbike Courier [Witch Only]
CHI Logistics
United States

Emissary of Hespatia
Global

Medical Courier
Labcorp
Atlanta, GA

[...]

Alright, and "Maid Hand?"

Warehouse Witch
CHI Logistics
Viola, Arcadia

Housemaid
Living Well Inc.
Valeria, Hawthorne

Space Station Mission Systems and Flight Operations...
Hatchlight
Global 

Sanitation/Safety Expert
Rosa Public Works
Rosa, Arcadia

Artifact Storage & Handling
Arcadia Student Council
Arcadia

[...]

She'll apply to the Import Shopper job, the Miscellaneous Service Work and Warehouse Witch ones, and the Housemaid one. 

... If she can, uh, write a witch resume...

She should probably also practice directing her constructs. How about she does the remaining dishes and works on her resume.

Eventually, morning is going to come. She still doesn't feel tired. The hunger is a little sharper, but still very manageable.

The traditional hour for summoning demons is midnight, but if it absolutely cannot wait, 4AM will do.

Down, girl. Hell will still be there at 4:30.

She climbs out of her bed, still fully armored. She would've started to wonder if its engineers made it too like cloth and not enough like metal — were it not part of her soul and thus its physical properties laid bare to her. She is pretty sure it drastically reduces bullet lethality and can hold fine under a chainsaw, just as she's pretty sure a five foot fall won't break any bones.

She flops on the couch and googles her mysterious benefactor.

Hell

This article is part of a series on afterlives.

Hell is a finite multilayered plane characterized by the protracted torture and eventual termination of souls. It is the default afterlife: Hell attempts to collect all souls that are undisputed by other necromancy.^[1]

Contents [show]

Laws and properties

---

• The physics and metaphysics of Hell are built upon mechanisms similar to those of the Prime Sphere planes; however, there are numerous exceptions.

• Each tier of Hell is understood to be individually capable of thought and magic. Each tier is also inimical to other thinking life, including the other layers.

• The use of magic is possible for visitors and petitioners; however the process of utter death disfigures the ability to use magic, leaving it impossible for witch prisoners.

• The direct opposition of Hespatia is ontologically impossible within the boundaries of Hell.

• It is evidentially possible to emigrate from Hell. The means of magicless escape is the subject of several studies and many hypotheses exist, but it is currently unknown to witchdom at large. The Lilin lineage descends from infernal deserters, but can offer no insight on the exploits of their ancestors.

• It is evidentially possible to earn the cessation of the soul to avoid suffering. Cessation is usually but not always offered to prisoners after a millennium of service. Chances of receiving this offer can be increased through diligent service.^[2]

Internal cosmology

---

This section may not provide balanced geographical coverage on the region in question. Please improve this article or discuss the issue on the talk page. (June 2022)

Hinterlands — The hinterlands are vast expanses of volcanic jungle oversaturated with predator life. Prominent among them are deceased leviathans and extinct dinosaurs. Some witches visiting the hinterlands report a sense of invigoration or increased power.^[3]

Purgatory — Purgatory contains the ruins and detritus of countless fallen civilizations. The tier attempts to retain sanctity through the petrification of life followed by its integration into architecture. This process involves deanthropomorphization, but not the cessation of consciousness.^[4]

Inferno — Inferno is a fathomless well, filled with fire of the viscosity of quicksand. At the base of the well are demonic tormentors, whose exceedingly painful ministrations compel prisoners to attempt swimming upwards. Once a prisoner is proven incapable of "even reflexive struggle or unconscious hope" they are branded and enslaved.^[5]

Abyss — The Abyss is an expansive ocean inhabited by higher orders of demons and their slaves. While the extreme water pressure makes existence painful to human bodies, most abyssal suffering stems from demonic malevolence. Demons here take especial interest in the malformation of the human soul, tailoring them into suffering works of art or distorted self-loathing servants.

The Void — Not itself a layer of Hell, the Void is a point of terminus for matter and information that exerts a pull on the rest of the universe. Hell maintains stability upon its precipice, likely through the grace of its patron goddess.

Economy

---

Hell is the second largest planar economy according to 2018 estimates, attributed to the enormity of its population.^[6] It is under the effect of numerous travel and economic sanctions. A complete list of participating entities can be found here.

Hell's diversified economy includes agriculture, industry, and a wide range of services. The trade of souls accounted for 10.4% of its GDP in 2015 and unique alchemical ingredients accounted for 6.1%. Industry in Hell - including alchemy, hexed material, computers, and petrochemicals - accounted for 31.5% of its gross domestic product.^[7][8]

Government and politics 

---

Hell is a highly centralized theocracy, fixated on the worship of and obedience to the living deity Hespatia. It maintains a blanket policy of "friendship and free trade" with any polities or entities whose legitimacy it recognizes.^[9]

Hespatia assumed absolute power in the August of 1850. The instantiation of her regime has been described as "cosmetic," only minor changes made to the existing processes of Hell. She has been criticized as ignoring all petitions for reform.^[10]

Population

---

It is estimated that Hell claims 33000 souls a day, or a fifth of the total human dead.^[11] The necromantic logistics behind this feat are unclear, but Hell's interplanar behavior suggests that unlike other afterlives, it is primarily limited by its ability to claim souls rather than its capacity to host them.

The population of Hell was estimated at 16 billion as of 2021.^[12]

Cult

---

See main article: Hespatian Coven

Criticism

---

See main article: Criticism of Hell

[...]

What the fuck did she just read.

What is wrong with these people.

Why did these people pick her out.

Every piece of fiction and biblical story she's read says this: the Devil can't take your soul except by your explicit consent. Anyone who says otherwise is lying outrageously. But apparently the Bible only has like thirty percent of an idea what it's talking about, and she sees reasons why they'd get this in particular wrong.

It makes for good stories if your characters have inviolable personal agency, rather than being little silver Monopoly pieces that belong to whichever player chooses them first. And people are inherent optimists, they want to believe what inspires them.

All that aside, she has no idea why the forces of evil are sponsoring her. She is kind of a dick, yes. But the kind where she doesn't have strong feelings about school shootings and wouldn't try to return a lost wallet. Not an ounce of serial killer shit.

—still. Hell is sponsoring her magic, and they're probably holding it off until they have a conversation about expectations. And if that's not what's going on, they can help her fix it or say it's not fixable and there was some kind of a mistake, oops.

Anyway, time to see if she can even use her magic demon summoning necklace. If she can't she'll be even more confused but—

"Hey Isabel?"

"Hey." Lily comes over and sits next to Marianne on the couch. "You called me Isabel, it must be serious."

"Oh. No. It's not."

"You're up early. I didn't actually expect you to catch that."

"I've been up all night. I... don't seem to be able to sleep anymore. I certainly don't feel tired. I applied to some witch jobs and got some advice on your casting problem and googled the kind of thing I am and found out that there's witch food that can replace blood. Are my eyes glowing?"

She blinks. Processes some visual information.

"Yeah. It's this sullen red. It's not super obvious, you have to both pick it out from the sunlight and be the kind of person who makes eye contact with other human beings. Ought I steel myself for you shooting lasers from your eyes?"

"It's an Empusa thing, apparently. Would you like me to catch you up on what's happened so far?"

"Please."

"So I tried phoning a couple places, but everything was closed for the night. So I tried a witch chat service and got someone. They said to try some specific basic magic with you and that would show wether you're just a really weak witch or actually have a problem. So I'd like to try that. I also discovered that I can do that -" she points at the sink where the dishes are apparently doing themselves "- which is apparently uncommon, so I'm applying to some witch jobs that use it. Warehousing, cafe service, that kind of thing. I don't expect to keep at that for long but we need witch money if we're going to get witch stuff like blood apples. I don't know if mundane money can be converted to witch money but I expect that if it can be the exchange rate sucks. 

Once places open in the morning, I'll start calling to ask about your issue more seriously. Right now I'm applying to more witch jobs that use Maid Hand so I don't starve. Next on my list before places open is checking the Kiss to dollar exchange rate. I've already found a witch market we could go to for blood apples if we had money."

She gets up and peeks into the kitchen, then plops back down on the couch.

Marianne holds out her hands face-up at waist level so Lillian can hold them and move them around to channel excitement if she wishes, but also credibly not notice if she doesn't. "That's utterly splendid, sweetie. Show me the test they gave you?"

Lily squeezes Marianne's hand, and hands her her phone, open to a tutorial on how to mint Kisses. (Make a circle in the air and channel mana into it; the Kiss will appear after six minutes' focus.)

"This one is both supposed to be rank zero and would be practical for us, because it would let you give me mana so I would have more time to sort out witch money and things. Or you could use it to just generate money to buy apples with."

"How do you channel mana? What does it feel like on the inside when you do it?"

"It feels... calm. And focussed, at least for me. It feels instinctual. I don't really know how to describe it, I'm sorry for being not that useful."

What do you do though?

She lifts up her arm and wiggles it around. She spends a few moments trying to articulate what she did in a more nuanced way than 'she told it to do that' and fails to in that time frame.

"I'll try again."

She reaches out with a finger, draws a slightly lumpy circle in the air, and spends the next while trying to substantiate a Kiss.

"... That's six minutes," says Lily, looking at her phone timer.

"You have a real problem, you're not just weak. I'll call around in an hour or two. At least now we know."

She squeezes Marianne's hand again. 

She lifts her necklace from her cuirass, letting its weight hang from a single finger. It smells faintly of smoke.

"I have to make a call too. Perhaps you ought to play outside for a bit, maybe a few blocks out?"

"I'm staying with you." You idiot. "I won't stop you from summoning anything, but I'm not letting you be alone in a room with a demon."

She can see upsides and downsides to that and isn't sure what decision they balance to, but doesn't think enumerating her thoughts will help. "That is legitimate."

She closes her eyes and turns inwards.

Marianne Belor opens her eyes. Ugh.

"Do we own candles, chalk, incense?"

"I have a couple candles for if the power goes out, but no chalk or incense."

She feels so so antsy, she just wants to get this over with now, not drag it out another few hours.

"Is there a 24/7 store we can hit."

"I can't think of one that'd have incense. That's a specialty thing. Chalk you could maybe get at a seven eleven or something, they sometimes sell sidewalk chalk. You are... going to read some tutorials and not just do what the dubious demonic artifact wants you to do, right?"

She bounces her legs.

"I was planning on checking online too, yeah. And — it doesn't have to be incense. Anything that makes the room more hellish helps with the signal. I don't know what we can use instead of chalk, not pens not sharpies — oh, blood. Probably a non-starter if you're sticking around. And food isn't a good plan unless you want the hungry type. Ash will do as long as the circle can suffer from uncomplication. Would you mind incinerating something?"

"I have not spontaneously manifested fire powers, and we'd need a lot of ash. There must be places in witchdom dedicated to this kind of thing, public circles that have been checked by people who actually know what they're doing - let me do fifteen minutes' research, alright?"

"We have a stove for a reason and that reason is generating ash! But yeah okay, knock yourself out."

She does some quick googling. 

"... Yeah, Hawthorne has public brass ones in the market square, they use them to summon imps to do menial labor when they're short on undead. Let me check Transport Arcadia..."

She flicks through a couple screens. 

"There's a portal here in the city, it's just outside downtown. It links up to the portal network. We could go to Hawthorne and use a professional circle made by someone who knows what they're doing. It'd cost something to get to downtown - you're blue, I don't know if the busses are running this early, we'd have to think about doing it safely - but we were planning on leaving anyway so it makes sense to go scout a little in any case."

She looks over at Marianne. "What do you think?"

"I am blue. Do you own makeup?"

"I don't, but I know how to apply it and I can get some. That's probably available from a drugstore or somewhere - I could go get it right now."

"Legit! Wallet's in my coat, come back soon."

She puts on her sunglasses and goes, grabbing Marianne's wallet on the way. Sunglasses at night is definitely less weird than glowing red eyes.

About an hour later, Lily comes back with a bunch of foundation and some lipstick and mascara to complete the look.

"CVS was open, I got everything we need. Let's get you looking more human."

"Great!"

Marianne springs up, bounces over, and fishes through the flimsy plastic bag for a lipstick.

She uncaps it with a pop, gets down on her knees, and starts drawing on the floor.

"Marianne. We want to get back the damage deposit on this apartment, Marianne. And we had a plan."

"I've had grievances with lipstick, but 'doesn't come off easily' isn't one of them. Close up the blinds. Laptop has a speaker, dig up some," what meshes with demons and lipstick, "nightcore. I'll do the groundwork, circle and candles."

"Fine. But under protest."

She Maid Hands the blinds just for practice, and gets out the laptop and starts browsing Youtube. "What kind of nightcore, what sin are we going for here?"

"We're using lipstick so our options are horny and stuck-up. Whatever you find the stronger connection for."

She leans over Lily's shoulder, switches to a tab with a diagram, then puts it back and returns to the floor.

Horny is probably the harm-minimizing option, here. She turns on a nightcore version of Jenny by the Studio Killers and then queues up More Than A Friend by Girli and then a random sex music mix. 

"Ready?"

"Yeah."

Marianne clasps the amulet tight between her hands, gloomy red light glimmering between her fingers. It demands nothing of her, not so much as a Kiss. Relief and calm settle over her as she interfaces the part of her soul that is human with the part of it that is amulet. She calls out words of power:

"Psspsspsst. Ssssss. C'mere."

And in the circle, suddenly—

A red-skinned woman fades in from nowhere, classically beautiful, with horns on her head and a spade-tipped tail. She's completely nude.

"I am not a cat," she says. "Nice toy." She reaches out towards the edge of the circle, one finger pointing towards the pentagram on Marianne's neck, stopping only just short of the lipstick on the floor.

Lily looks over coolly, and doesn't take her eyes away from the demon.

The demon's eyes flick back and forth between Marianne and Lily. "Oh, a couple huh?" She smiles and tosses her head. "Sounds fun. So what's the deal, huh?" She sits down in the circle, and makes a lazy circle with her finger on the floor.

"Hi! Thaaanks! Do you know how to figure out whose it is? They just kind of smacked me in the face with it, like a dodgeball sort of deal."

"What, you think this is a charity? S-E-X, let me fuck someone and then I'll talk."

"Will a vibrator do? I'm not sure whether you get access to those typically."

The demon eyes Marianne. "A partner's necessary, that's Hell-law for succubi deals. This is the part where you suggest someone else you'd like me to fuck. Want me to seduce your landlord? Your boss at your job? I don't care who or why, so long as I'm getting some."

Lily looks over at Marianne. " - how much do you want to bet that a summoned succubus's services are worth something significant in Witchdom? It's not a basic spell."

"Listen to the pale girl! She's got a thought!"

Marianne Belor glances at Lillian, then back at the demon.

"Do you have talents besides being naked and humanoid? —sorry, that probably sounds unconscionably rude but I absolutely meant it in a value-neutral way."

"I can disguise myself to go among humans, including clothes. I have a few centuries' experience at espionage and seduction and breaking people's hearts. Obviously also I am technically skilled at sex, just to be thorough."

"Iiiii have no desire for any of that, I just wanted to ask some softball questions. Will you do that for a kiss. With tongue?"

The demoness laughs. "How about you get your girlfriend to fuck me if you're so against it?" 

She turns to look at Lily. "Seriously. You seem like you're more on board. I do actually know things - you pick things up, from summonings, witches not being careful about what they say. If you were careful with your questions you could get something more than worth your time."

Lily gives Marianne a dubious look. 

"If you want me to..." She halfshrugs.

"I did not sign up for pimping people out!"

"Okay, maybe I did, but I didn't think it through."

"How many questions. For sex."

"Seven is traditional."

"Okay, great."

She just needs to pretend very intently to be the sort of person who enjoys sex with strangers and then that mental model can enjoy it and everything's copacetic.

"One minute please." Marianne closes her eyes.

What kind of person enjoys casual sex? What do they notice about the world? What is most apparent to their senses?

The woman's sexual characteristics obviously. Her hands and their creases and lines; her neatly-filed nails of onyx. Her horns; the ringlike patterns etched in them. Her tail; emotion apparent in it like a wire tense with electricity.

The novelty of it. The smoke and stone in her scent. The thrill of being in the proximity of a world-class expert and watching them do their life's work. And getting to experience their competence and ingenuity performed on you. Marianne would enjoy following around a first-rate baker at the grocery store or watching an Olympic swimmer exercise and this is just as cool as that.

What thoughts do they think? What emotional loops are there?

She's so pretty. She's so cool. I want her to touch me. I want her really fucking bad. I'm lonely. An upswelling of desire — I want to think about only her, write about and talk about her.

An entourage of pink fluttering butterflies and scarlet skittering desperation.

There we go.

Eyes open. Marianne steps closer and scuffs out some circumference of circle with her foot. She doesn't consider this particularly dangerous: she can feel the weight of the demon's presence. It's here being cupped in her hands and it would be gone if she let go for even a moment.

"You, bedroom. Lillian, please put my noise-cancellers on, they're around here somewhere."

... Lily smiles despite herself. 

"Alright."

She has her Maid Hand provide her with Marianne's headphones, and goes back to applying to witch jobs.

The demon steps out of the circle and makes her way off towards the bedroom.

She shuts the door and lets herself lean against the wall.

"Armor stays on," she says over a half-smile.

... Some time later, Lily looks up when the door to the bedroom opens again.

Marianne walks out first.

"We're good! More or less."

The demon walks out behind Marianne and sits on the floor where the circle was. She winks at Lily. 

"Your girlfriend's got refined tastes," she says. "Anyway. Questions. Ask away."

Lily just rolls her eyes.

She — doesn't sit next to Lillian. She feels faintly dirty, like there is inextricable grime under her fingernails. She doesn't want to pollute Lily with that somehow.

Instead she sits against a wall and eyes the demon.

"How can I easily find out who gave me this necklace and why they gave it to me?"

"Ask me. That's one."

"Which demon gave me this necklace and why specifically did they do that?"

"Liath of the Seventh. As an investment, and a push. She thinks you're the type who's attracted to power and likely to use it in ways Hell approves of. That's a fancy toy she's given you. And bound to your soul. People are going to want that... or the use of that, if they can't take it from you. That's three."

"How the fuck do you know all of that?"

"She's my boss. Why do you think you got me out of all the demons you could possibly have summoned? It's because Liath is my direct superior. And she does this all the time. You're a little unique, having an artifact like that given to you, but the general plan is the same every time. Four."

"What do I have to do for my mana and magic to function correctly?"

The demon looks at her appraisingly. "Make a deal with Liath. It's her power to give or to take away. That's five."

Yeah, that's about what she imagined. The demon shows her everything she wants — then holds it at arm's length while it wrings out as many concessions and promises as she can possibly give. This is so fucking no there's a flaw in that logic.

"I have a strong intuition that she cannot actually take away the invaluable relics she has seen fit to graft to my soul, nor recoup any other power spent on my witchhood. If I didn't make the deal you suggest, you're suggesting that she would be out her entire investment. This seems like an implausible way for a wealthy and clever investor to behave."

"That's not a question."

"What's your name?"

"Cytherea. You can summon me by it if you want. Six."

"What is your least favorite thing about Hell?"

"I don't get to fuck anyone who still has their soul intact. You might think succubi just lie around all day having sex. If that's the case why the fuck do we take it as payment. Seriously. Hell's not that great even for demons."

"Do you want to stay summoned indefinitely?"

"- Fuck, you'd really offer that?"

She folds her hands together. 

"I need to be technically on a task in order to stay summoned, if I'm going to be able to justify it at all to my bosses in Hell. And respectfully, I don't expect you to be able to keep me here for so long that I wouldn't face a reckoning from my boss eventually. 

But if you want to keep me summoned I'm all in favour of helping you come up with excuses."

I didn't offer it, I just asked if you'd like it. How do you like someone waggling your heart's desires in your face, little imp?

The words don't leave her skull, but her lips twitch. Perhaps there's no difference to a centuries-old cold reader.

" - Oh." 

She laughs. 

"I guess I deserve that." She crosses her arms.

The offer is genuine, Marianne Belor is just a bit of a dick.

Her lips recede into a line. "Is Liath monitoring you right now?"

She is guessing that divination is easy and fun but preventing it is not, from miscellaneous observations of Penelope and Alphazon.

"No. If we strike a serious deal that'll show up to identify, but that would require her to be here in person. She could message me telepathically, but I don't necessarily have to pick up. She also casts weekly auguries that'll turn up any serious damage to her cause, but me simply being away on a long mission isn't unusual."

"How do infernal deals work? Is there magic arbitration of it, is it just words—"

"Lily, please grab my laptop and try to doublecheck whatever she says."

Lily grabs the laptop and starts searching for Consortation resources.

"I'm bound to make all reasonable efforts to provide whatever is contracted and not to act outside those bounds. Hence why I am sitting here on the floor rather than doing anything. Right now there is no standing deal, so I'm bound to only do things that I can gloss as 'negotiation.' I am only bound to the letter of the deal and not to its spirit, but I would have been physically incapable of not answering your questions. Naturally with demons who are actually intelligent there's more leeway for alliances rather than just hammering everything into the contract so it's a compulsion; and of course I can turn down deals I don't like.

Lily, you could try searching for "standard longterm succubus escort service contract." I know some of those ones and would be willing to be bound by many of them."

Lily looks over at Marianne.

"Yeah, you can search for that."

"What all do you want, besides sex? If you were making a wishlist."

Lily opens a new tab and continues to read.

"Freedom. Some spending money. To make a good impression on my boss so I'm allowed to take more summons and spend less time in Hell. Being treated like a person. You know, the usual."

"So far what she's said about how contracts work checks out."

Oh, she's a human! Not in the literal sense, but she wants all the human things.

"What do I have to do to make an agreement binding, instead of just words? Or is there not — such a thing for you as just words?"

"Agree to terms including at least some sex as payment - it's fine if it's "on the job" - while you have me summoned. You could further enforce things with Covenant magic if you had any, though it's kind of redundant."

"Seems accurate. There's a warning that demons are all sadists and enjoy harming others, though. Standard contracts include an agreement not to harm anyone save as a direct effect of fulfilling the terms."

"Why does," she recalls the word, "Hell-law demand that you have sex as part of deals made?"

She wasn't planning on asking non-pressing questions until she got the demon under an honesty compulsion, whoops.

Cytherea looks over at Lily. "How many humans manage to harm no-one, hey? I'm a demon, I'm not pretending to be a saint. But I'll take that stiuplation if you insist."

She looks back at Marianne. "It's a holdover from how Hell used to be run - different demons for different kinds of sin, intention to corrupt so the gods don't prioritize the soul, blah blah. We care less about "sin" these days, and more about direct arrangements to deliver souls - my boss is more interested now in the information on the witching world I could offer from a summoning. But the old magic is still the same. I don't know why Hespatia hasn't changed it. Maybe She just doesn't care."

Are there many gods who won't pick you if you've had sex with a demon? Weird, maybe she's missing something.

"I will commit to being an honest and fair trading partner for this and all future arrangements with you and also make a good faith effort to have sex with you at some point if you will make an identical commitment about arrangements with me."

"If you fail to be honest and fair, what's the penalty for you? I'm bound by your arrangement, how is your honesty enforced?" 

"—I'm not sure we can arbitrate fairness on my end, since neither of us trust each other to interpret the term. But if you catch me telling you something I know is false, I will pay you 1000 US dollars."

"So the arrangement is that I trade fairly and honestly with you, and in exchange for each lie I catch you in I make a hundred Witch Kisses? That's only two days' wages for a low-rank witch. If you employ me as an escort I'll make far more than that for you. The basic idea is sound, though. How about... if I catch you in a deliberate lie, not including mere witholding of information, I get to keep ten percent more of my income for the next let's-say year, that's a good long period without being literally forever."

"Standard escort arrangement is that the summoner gets all the money the succubus earns through sex. It also has bindings against lying, deliberate harm, ceoncealing that the demon is a succubus, and so on. No self-defense exception."

"...I'm not going to employ you as a sex worker. It seems strikingly inappropriate to do that to an immigrant in exchange for letting them stay in a nicer country. You can do sex work if you want but I'm not going to garnish all your earnings."

"What I want from you is advice and assistance in dealing with the magical world and Hell. Ideally I wouldn't ask anything of you except that you don't put people's entrails up on coat hangers. But keeping you around involves indefinite non-negligible fatigue on my end, so in practice I would like you to make yourself useful."

She is not sure if you can sway demons by being very idealistic at them until they reflect some of it back, but it works on many humans and Cytherea seems very like a human.

"... Alright, then here's my proposal. This is just broad-strokes, general stuff. Hell-law says I have to do you a service and that you have to pay me in sex, so how about this:

I help you with your personal life, gather information for you, and get to sleep with whoever's willing to in exchange. I mean literally I would go to bars and things, sleep with witches as your informant gathering rumors and connections, and the opportunity to do that and have that sex is what you're primarily paying me with. I'll agree to reasonable restrictions on my actions - no deliberate harm to anyone and no lying to you are the main ones I think you'd want - and in exchange I'll make reasonable efforts to aid and assist you. I will explicitly agree to, at minimum, provide you with enough Witch Kisses to sustain my upkeep without being a constant drain on your mana. Either you'll let me earn money independently to get my own housing or you'll let me house with you. If you let me house with you I'll pay my share of rent."

...Cytherea's existence is not actually draining her mana. Is it supposed to? Her wells of power do not seem to have diminished, she just feels abnormally tired.

"The standard seems to be literal slavery. I'm willing to be better than my civilization, but not so much better that everyone rips me off all the time. Also I expect that were Liath to come calling, you would drop everything to cross me instantly."

"Rather than reasonable efforts to aid and assist, commit to obeying me as long as you're summoned."

She expects Cytherea to counterpropose rather than just snap that up, but maybe she's underestimating how desperately bad Hell is.

"What, and be compelled to harm myself if you say so? You can do better than that."

"There are a lot of things that could be said to harm you in some indirect or negligible way. I will commit to making your life at least fifty percent better than it is in Hell, as you see it, and you can opt out of this contract with twenty four hours' notice."

"No deliberate infliction of physical pain on me, on pain of breaking the arrangement. Sending me back to Hell doesn't count against that, despite the obvious. No obligation to do anything involving Outsiders including fight them. Nothing that could destroy my soul. The rest is reasonable."

"—I expect that you can trick me into deliberately causing you some minor pain. Not sure how, but it wouldn't surprise me. I won't try to torture or physically abuse you. Your other terms are fine once converted to contract language."

"Less airtight than I'd prefer, but I guess we both are going to have to trust each other a little."

She looks over at Lily. "There are standard contract clauses for no torture or abuse, honesty to the summoner, do-no-harm, etc. Check the Standard Consortation Reference by Hawthorne Publishing, whatever the latest edition is, "standard sections." The broad long-term informant contract is unusual, but the housing clause should exist for use in long-term contracts."

Lily looks up the relevant contract sections and brings the laptop over so Marianne can read them over and help her draft the final document.

She sits beside Lillian and does her best to airtighten things.

Cytherea remains still in the circle, tapping her black-nailed fingers against her knee.

The terms of the contract in plain language come out to be:

— Generalized obedience to Marianne or Lillian.

— Honesty and fairness in trade with Marianne.

— No withholding information thought to be relevant or useful.

— No fighting Outsiders.

— No plausibility of soul death.

— No deliberate harm dealt unto others by Cytherea.

— No physical torture or abuse unto Cytherea.

— Cytherea cannot be forced to make or amend contracts.

— Freedom outside the terms of the contract.

They don't own a printer, so she kind of just puts the laptop in Cytherea's lap and indicates a place to sign.

Cytherea types her name and stretches. "There. A done deal."

And she sighs.

"Alright then, guess I've gotta fess up. I know a better method for reaching your magic than asking Liath."

"Welcome to America."

"And whatcha got?"

"I assume you girls have done the standard test to check if you're just really weak, right?

"Trying to substantiate a Kiss? Yes."

"And it didn't work?"

"Yeah. I... am quite sure I have mana. And the necessary other systems in place. It just doesn't... actually answer me."

"You might need a crutch. - formally an "implement", but everybody will call it that. Something spelled to help mana flow. There are diagrams in the Hawthorn Healer's Handbook, Sixth Edition, under "medical implements". It'll take someone with some skill at Runes to get a good one but you can check quickly with something basic."

Lily takes the laptop back and searches up the relevant diagram.

"I could make this, but it takes ingredients I don't have. Nothing that rare, just stuff I'd have to go to the grocery store to get."

... She looks over at Cytherea. "We could send her."

She feels skeevy about telling a slave to get her groceries. She identifies the emotion, clamps down on it, and crushes it until there's nothing there.

"Yeah okay. Please get the groceries Lillian tells you to." She points at the CVS bag. "Makeup's there — also you're quite well-read. I can see that I'm using your time poorly and I apologize, but needs must."

Marianne sits next to Lily and rests her head on her shoulder.

In a moment, Cytherea's red skin tone and horns vanish completely, replaced by a still beautiful but very human-looking woman. "The makeup won't be necessary." 

She smiles at Marianne. "You can communicate telepathically with me whenever you want." Like this. "I'll tell you when I've gotten the groceries. Lillian, money? 'Do no harm' includes theft, unfortunately."

Lily peels a few bills out of Marianne's wallet and passes them over to Cytherea. "I assume you have pockets."

"I can fake them well enough. Are you going to give me keys to the apartment?"

"No. Knock when you come back."

"Alright. Where's the local CVS?"

"I'll show you a map on the lapt- Marianne, do we actually want her to know where we live."

Cytherea rolls her eyes and waits.

"She is going to be living here, yes."

Marianne wanders off to the bedroom, returns with her keys, and deposits them in Cytherea's hands.

"Oh. Right. - Hopefully not for long here, you know our landlord won't have it."

"Is anyone going to give me a map to the CVS."

Lily brings up a map and shows her.