Mmnn.

He's on... vacation?  Where is he on vacation to.  Presumably he'll remember in a minute.



Nope, huh.  Oh well.

He brushes the covers aside and - huh, he fell asleep in sweatpants.  Daytime, fashionable sweatpants, which isn't that weird but he doesn't normally do it.  His sneakers are lined up by the bed; he slips into them and heads... out.

"Hey, there!  Hello."

"Hello!"  Is this somebody's house??  - Oh, an Airbnb, probably.  That doesn't tell him who this guy is, though.  He keeps walking.

"I got you some water.  Wanna come sit down?"

(Whoooooo is this.)

"Sure."  He sits.

The guy gestures to a glass on a coaster on the coffee table.  "So, hi, my name is Journey Carison, and I'm about to tell you several things that are a lot more surprising than that."

"...Okay...  Hi, Journey, my name's Julien."

Journey nods.  "Hi, Julien.  Nice to meet you.  Let's start with some good news:  Dungeons are not the only alternate dimensions around.  And many of the rest of 'em are filled with humans who are generally trying to make the multiverse a better place."

(What.)

(What -)

"This has lead to both some individuals, and to a lesser extent also just common people, being able to do a lot more things than previously.  More power, more wealth.  Cooler stuff and safer everything.

"...Not - everything - is as great as all that, but this is, if you ask me, a fundamentally optimistic state of affairs."

(What does - ) (How - ) (Does he really expect - )

"This looks like an Airbnb."  (Well, sort of, at least.)

"- Sure, yeah, I can kind of see that.  Do you want to take a walk?"

"Not really, unless it's going to be explanatory in some way?"

"It will be!"  He rises.

"Sure, fine."  He'll follow.

"Are you sure you don't want some water first, though?"

Why is this guy being so pushy.  But whatever.  "Sure, I guess.  Hydrate or die-drate," he shrugs, going for the glass.

"- Jesus Christ, man."

"What?"

"Never mind.  Cheers; prost.  Mazel tov."  Clink, and he takes a hearty swig himself.

Whatever.

It is, admittedly, pretty good water.  He's a fan of it.  It's just not so good that he would rather have it than understanding whaaat is happening here.

Outside, there's a nice white-gravel driveway leading out into a pleasant forest.  The building he just exited might be some sort of mansion.

And there's just - another planet, with rings and two moons, right there.  Absolutely huge in the sky.

"Nice display."

"Isn't it?  Our art team does good work."

(Is this... even if that's a giant screen that doesn't explain how he got here.  So it's probably a dungeon????(???))

Nod.

"Let's go this way."  He walks.

Yeah.  Sure.  Okay.

The environment is nice and kind of generically garden-y, except for the sky.  There are some statues and fountains about, and - here's one, that Journey leads him to.  A big mirror, set in stone, flowers growing densely around the edge.

Okay, what's it going to be, the guy doesn't have a reflection?  Or Julien doesn't?

No, they both do.

But -

His eyes, far from their usual deep deep almost-black brown, are pale and watery and blue or gray or something.

Journey waits for him to form a question.

...No, he's not going to do that.  (Is he an -) (Does it even make any more sense for them to have put contacts -) (But he doesn't remember -)

He looks expectantly at Journey.

"So, you awoke as an esper."

"...Okay....."

"Delusion, breaking from reality.  Self-centered paranoia.  Thinking everything's out to get you."

"That and not - forgetting the last howevermany years of societal progress?"

"No.

"Julien, you died.  It killed you."

What.

What.  But he doesn't - remember -

oh

he remembers.

Journey takes a seat on a nearby bench.  Off to one side so there's room for Julien if he wants.

no the ground is fine actually

"Let me know when you're ready for more information."

"So that's why you were like - offended, when I said 'hydrate or die-drate'."

"I wasn't offended.  It was just - such a dramatically ironic thing for you to say."

"Okay.  - Go ahead and get me up to speed, now."

"Gladly.  So, you've been resurrected into a pocket dimension, associated with, most broadly, the Cypress Realitary Coalition, and with, unfortunately, non-altruistic motives."

"...I'm an esper and they want me to do esper things?" he attempts to translate.  "I haven't found anything I can do, yet."

"No.  - Well, sort of.  Not really.  You died in the middle of awakening, Julien.  But because we're very powerful, we put it on pause.  You'll still have to do the rest of it later."

"Can you like, keep me unconscious for the rest of it?"

"...That's unlikely to be a good use of our resources.  Have you heard of The Bachelor?"

"...No.  I don't think so?"

"It's a reality TV show that started in some universes in 2002.  Dating themed; the ultimate goal is the protagonist finding someone to marry."

"I'm gay."

"Yes.  It's no longer 2002; that's fine.  It's actually called The Bacheloret now, E-T at the end, gender neutral."

"Oh. 

"Why me?"

"A lot of things.  ...But one of them is, you know how if you had the opportunity, you'd give Levity sexual favors for his work in collecting dungeon mats?"

They know about his ALT ACCOUNTS??????

"Yeah."

"Our Bacheloret this season is preeetty personally responsible for uplifting billions of people out of poverty, and his whole world out of material scarcity."

"- Oh, you mean as - me as a contestant.  Not... the main guy."

"Yes, just so."

...He whistles.

"Also, there's an alternate universe version of Levity here; please don't attempt to give him sexual favors.  This one hasn't done anything notably world-improving except tour in productions of musicals.  We'd like to keep the setup haremic, not polyamorous."

"O...kay....  I kind of, don't - want, to uh..."

"We are, I would like to be very clear, not going to pressure you into giving this guy sexual favors either.  It's a dating show, and somewhat of a marriage show, and there will be one episode where you will have an opportunity for private, non-televised sex, if you make it that far, and we in fact really discourage you from trying anything like that the rest of the time."

"Ooookay."

"It's just, the general disposition that leads you to that makes you a good fit here.  Among other considerations, as I said."

"Is this guy an esper?  What will I do for guiding once I finish awakening?"

"If you win we'll set you up with some sort of magical solution, don't worry."

"And if I don't win..."

"We'll set you up in a nice corner of the multiverse with enough resources to get your feet under you.  I'll probably put you in touch with at least one compatible person."

"That's good."  (Since the alternative probably involves him dying.  ...Again.)  "How did this guy end material scarcity, did you say?"

"So!"  He claps his hands together in punctuation.  "The Earth he's from is in fact not just part of a universe but a unisong, a group of several universes together.  Those, instead of being filled with humans, are populated with very powerful beings.  Some of them can literally just make things.  Out of nothing!  With approximately no limit.  They're summonable to his Earth, and lots of individuals have known this and sometimes become very rich off that knowledge, but otherwise things looked pretty much the same as default Earths, in the same way that yours was default until the seventies - but he managed to undeniably publicize their existence.  Cue infinite food, and whatever else."

"That seems... probably mostly good?"

"It's really almost all good!  There are magical bindings that can be placed on the beings - they're called 'daeva', collectively - that prevent them from doing various things, and mmmmostly those are correctly used as appropriate safety measures.  Daeva are psychologically pretty much regular people, and they don't have to accept summons, so they're generally able to stay out of places they don't want to be.  It's not perfect, but there aren't any hidden large-scale horrors either."

"O...kay..."

"I'm not trying to weasel words you here, Julien.  I can give you a list of some of the bad things, if you'd like."

"I didn't think you were trying to weasel words me."  (Although maybe now he does??)  "I just don't know if we'd consider the same sorts of things problems."

"We pretty much would.  Bad things are - daeva are pretty much just normal people, as I said, often somewhat nicer since they appear as adults and don't much have to deal with material scarcity, but the individual types are called fairies, angels, and demons.  Don't freak out; they're just normal people."

"I'm not freaking out!  Except that this made the top of your list and you told me not to!  That's really suspicious."

"So, there's such a thing as alternate universe versions of people - 'alts' - and sometimes yours get caught up on stuff like that."

"...Huh."

"You and I are actually alts of each other."

"...Huh."

"So I have some guess that you're about to ask me whether I was previously some sort of demon racist.  And no I wasn't; it's other ones of us.  ...That I know of; I'm very old and have forgotten a lot."

- That is what he was going to ask, down to the phrasing.  But maybe this guy is just a regular psychic or mind reader?  "Oh."

"I am in fact a little bit psychic, but I wasn't using that for this.  It doesn't let me see specific things that are about to happen.  More of a vibes thing, really."

"Are you a mind reader?"

"Not that I know of.  It wouldn't much surprise me if I had been or someday will be though; that happens to us sometimes."

"Do you know what my esper power's going to be?"

"Not - technically..."

"But you have a guess."

"Yep."

" - Anyway, other bad things about summoning becoming known is that many people are in fact demon racist, and as part of the magical safety precautions it's possible to put on ones who come to Earth, people usually prevent them from speaking."

"That doesn't seem great..."

"It's not great.  It's not, generally, atrocious, but it's not great."

"How is it sometimes atrocious?"

"Well, deals are also a magical thing here, and since people are demon racist they assume the demons want to trade nefarious things in return for creating stuff, and the demons can communicate that they don't want those things, but they can't offer something trivial instead.  Sometimes this is fine but sometimes there are tense situations where a human's in trouble and keeps counterproductively offering steeper prices to the demon."

"Oh no, yeah, that makes sense."

"With a lot of these things, he should have the chance to go back and clear it up after this."