She's up! She's on her feet! She's sniffing the air!

It smells fucking weird in here!!  There's a human a room and a half over from her, though.  ...A weird-smelling one.

Is she hungry?

Nope!  She's lacking any flavor, though.

Wretched. Maybe the human'll have something.

She goes through the door to find the human.

"Hi, Addy!  Nice to meet you."  He goes for a handshake but he's got gloves on.

The effrontery. Shake shake. How far up his sleeves do they go.

Far enough.  "No skin-touching, please.  I've got shields to enforce this if you try."

"I'm not gonna hurt you!"

"Yes, I know.  - If it's really bothering you, we can get someone in here with a power we don't mind you having, though if it isn't perhaps you'd like an explanation first."

"Both of those things would be lovely."

The man claps his hands together twice and there's a brief whhhhhrmmm sound from out in the hallway, joined by the scent of a second human.

They're dressed much less formally than either she or the guy (Addy's in a cornflower blue getup with lots of ruffles on the asymmetrical neckline and a subtle pattern running through it in thin lines of raspberry).  All black, with a beanie.  Their hand is held out for her and once she touches it she has minor telekinesis.

"Thanks ever so. It's mango, if you were curious."

"I was, thank you." (The mangoly one apparently wasn't; they turn right around and get whhhrmmed out again, all their noises and the active component of their scent disappearing almost as soon as they're out of sight.)  "So, have you heard of The Bachelor?"

"With capital letters? Yes..."

"That's the one!  How would you like to be a villain in season one thousand twenty of it?"

"You seem to be psychic so perhaps you are aware that I'm asexual?"

"I am.  That's fine with us; you'd be here to create drama for the audience and interesting scenarios for the protagonist and his actual contenders.  No capacity for romance necessary.  Though I do think you're going to love some of the powers we've got in the rest of the pool."

"I am fully capable of love for interesting sorts of magic. Why is there a Magic Bachelor which needs spicing up?"

"The show existed in the first universe which we locally know to have made contact with others; with access to magic and higher technology - and a wider audience - it became less ethical and more lucrative.  This season's bach is a real upright guy, though, and we're being nice to him.  Or, trying to."

"You're throwing me in to be nice to him?"

"No, that's perpendicular to the relevant axis.  Though it would be mean to throw twenty-eight very compatible people at him and make him choose between them based on arbitrary subtle differences, don't you think?  I just meant that you'll have to lie or talk around some of your past activities in order to not get eliminated night one."

"Is this going to last long enough that I'm going to need to sneak offset for midnight snacks?"

"Yes and no.  Can I offer you a drink?"  He snaps his fingers - he manages even with the gloves - and a champagne flute filled with something golden and bubbly materializes in his outstretched hand.

Sniff.

Yeah that's hers now. Glug.

"Glad you like it.  Now, you don't have to hide that you're a vampire, but there's going to be another one of your kind around who doesn't kill humans - generally - and he can read minds.  So that's something to watch out for."

"I think this is going to fall apart promptly if the other vampire lets on that mate bonds exist even if he doesn't turn me in for the murders."

"He's going to be a real mess and he knows about those less explicitly than you do, but if you don't think you'll be able to think around the murders it would be pretty easy to justify that, hm, his powers only work in a certain pavillion, or something along those lines.  The bacheloret - Cam's his name - holds privacy very dear."

"That's so sweet and exploitable of him."

"He's very upright, as I said.  Think that'll give you trouble in any other ways?"

"I can work with upright, though it wouldn't hurt to know more about exactly how. I don't usually dwell on my meals but I do remember them all and the last time I met a mindreader he wasn't on such a high horse. For that matter, I will also remember this conversation."

"Alright, we'll keep you abreast of the situation once we've locked in the pavilion or whatever.  First of all, do note that if you kill anyone here we'll bring them back, and if you try to bite anyone this will instead kill them, and they'll remember enough to tattle unless you're clever about not giving them anything to remember."

"I will not try to stash any exciting witches in the fridge for later, then. Whatever becomes of me after I've concluded my run of the show as a thank-you for the bailout?"

"Once the season's aired we'll give you enough to live comfortably on for a bit and turn you loose into the multiverse.  We'll give you the contact information of anyone you'd like from the contestant pool, though they'll have the ability to block you if they want.  The reciprocal is also true."

"Pleasure doing business with you," Addy purrs.

"Very much likewise.  Everyone involved will, just so you know, have a chance to watch the edited season once it's completed.  Bear that in mind in the confessionals.  Being only interested in magic and not romance, almost certainly fine to mention; murders, still probably a no-go."

"They're not interesting murders, it's just that a girl's gotta eat."

"I understand.  And you should be able to get your hands on that stuff," gesture to the glass, "from here on out."

"I'll be able to get into all the nice places that require you to not be an active serial killer and have some way to check. Is that a lot of places?"

"It is.  There are also a lot of places that don't; it's a big multiverse.  But most polities don't allow murder even when they allow having committed murder five minutes ago somewhere else."

"I was not expecting getting myself killed to turn out this nicely."

"It doesn't usually, no.  Let's see, other particulars about Cam's uprightness...  He's really not a fan of imperfectly-consensual mental alterations.  Big on privacy, I mentioned.  Generally altruistic; you can probably get pretty far if you can find the right angle on wanting to help people.  He's also a magic nerd, so have fun with that..."

"What kind's he got?"

"His world has summonable, ludicrously over-powered creatures known as daeva - fairies, angels, and demons, which can move things, change things, and make things respectively - and he publicized their existence to everyone on his Earth.  In addition to being upright he's got a bit of an ego; feel free to lean on the admirability of this act."

"I presume I am not forbidden to touch him?"

"You are not!  We're likely to be shielding him from all the magics going around, though, if you for example wind up with somebody else's touch-range power."

"So I don't get to summon any ludicrously over-powered creatures of my own?"

"Even if it worked like that, and I don't think the underlying mechanics are witchy enough that they would, we're in a pocket dimension with very high security.  So, no.  Not here."

"Damn. I will have to content myself by booping all the other contestants. Do you have an arc you would like me to try to loosely follow, plotwise?"

"Not at this stage.  We might reach out to you once everyone's met each other and dynamics start to form."

"Atcher service." A little bow.

"I'm so delighted to be having you on this season.  One thing we will want you to do is design a wardrobe - we'll give you pretty much whatever you ask for, and there'll be artists to consult with on what's advisable for various situations you might encounter.  And let someone know if you need any props for faux-mantic gestures.  Obviously only go what you're comfortable with, there, but be aware that that's an avenue you can use to extend your stay here."

"Hmm, how big a wardrobe are we talking about, like a different outfit every day for - how long does this run? - or just like a dozen things including the swimsuit episode, or... I can play the flute family but it'll have to be glass."

"It runs eight weeks if you can make it that far but the numbers drop off pretty fast; I'm expecting you to last, hm, four, maybe five weeks, at a guess.  You can repeat outfits and Cam doesn't much care for fashion, but obviously let the knowledge that this is going to be the multiverse's first impression of you inform how you want to curate your image.  - Speaking of, why glass?  Personal branding?"

"So I don't dissolve the poor thing! I can make one if you get me a glass workshop."

"...We weren't planning to start out with a glass workshop but we can cycle one in in a couple weeks, absolutely.  We can also just give you a glass flute but maybe you'd prefer to show off.  And we can source some of those very-heat-resistant gloves from one of the other contestants 'verse and then everyone can play with hot glass with their hands; bet that'll be fun even to people with no previous experience..."

"It'll be fun for everybody! I can also play instruments for which this is not a concern but I have spent the most time on the flute."

"We'll have a bunch of them around on the planetoid.  - This is going to take place on a planetoid, just so you know.  We're also on one now, though not the same one."

"Charming."

"It's a very convenient structure for driving people together for interactions while also leaving room for activities and luxury.  It sure would create problems if you had to sneak off-set for any reason, but, you know, we've got you covered."

"I appreciate that!

"This other vampire isn't anyone I've heard of?"

"Except to the extent that he's an alternate-universe version of me, no."

"Oh, fun, how far does that go in terms of predicting either of you?"

"Oh, almost not at all.  We're extremely, extremely different people; I don't expect you'd have a way to notice it at all if I hadn't said.  But we're somewhat of outliers in this respect; generally there's a lot more overlap."

"Are there more of me? We'd have such fun swapping notes..."

"I know of at least one more of you, and she's even from another contestant's universe."

"Will they be able to introduce me or no such luck?"

"No, no, they're from completely different societies.  After, though, I'll give you a way to reach her."

"Thank you!"

"You're so welcome.  - You're going to want to turn down the chipper about being here, in front of the bach.  As part of the uprightness he's not too thrilled about the whole scenario; we're not being as nice to everyone as we are to you."

"Most people are not ecstatic to have a second chance at life?"

"You might think so, but for some people the vibe is that we're," he does air quotes, "'coercing people on threat of death' and 'being really sketchy about it the whole time'.  ...Also we are definitely doing things like editing people's sexualities and whatnot; you just get an exemption because we think you'll do great as-is.  So, that's a factor."

"I would admittedly really resent it if I suddenly had to worry about coming over all squishy for some random person. Oh, relatedly, I never did work out the trick for fucking a human without killing them, is that going to come up or are we not so much an X-rated program here?"

"Not so much, no.  There's the Fantasy Suites but I'll be very impressed if you make it to final three and also they're completely magically private.  And optional."

"I can be saving myself until marriage? I am from olden times."

"Love your ambition.  Yeah, something like that should work fine."

"Can do. What else do I need to know?"

"You may or may not wish to come up with a gimmick to make yourself memorable during limo exits.  There are a lot of contestants; many people like to use props to set up a pun or something like that.  Make a hook that lets you catch onto the bach's memory."

"Well, I could walk into a sunbeam."

"That's fun, yeah.  The start is normally an evening affair, by which I mean 'dark out', but we could put you first and do it at sunset; that seems worth it."

"That poor other vampire. I will plan my wardrobe for sunset sparkling."

"You have no idea."  He takes a sip of tea.  "Excellent.  Also do bear in mind that the bubbly will turn your eyes gold; we'll make sure they have a chance to do that before you go on."

"Oh, I think that will look nice on me."

"Mm-hm!  They will go back if you drink more human blood."

"I'm not attached! The fizzy stuff is just as good!"

"Yes, just bear it in mind.  ...If you'd like, we can handicap your sense of smell to remove temptation.  We're super definitely going to have to do that for the other guy."

"I'm very responsible."

"Even if someone slices themself open in the glassworks or whatever?"

"I can hold my breath!"

"Seems fine by me, then."

"I guess if I have to talk it might be annoying. I can but it's annoying. But I don't want my sense of smell turned off completely the whole time."

"Sure, just thought I'd offer.  And, y'know, no biggie if you slip up.  We can bring 'em back, just you're likely to get eliminated because of it."

"Understandable, really, it's not wife material behavior."

"Not for this guy, no.  Maybe for some of the other contestants."

"Must be an interesting show those seasons."

"On the ones where the bach is into it?  Yes, although it's not good for branding long-term."

"You're the expert, marketing is not one of my many talents."

"Not yet!  And maybe not for a while; I expect you to be pretty busy from here on out."

"It does sound like there's a lot to get up to out there."

"Mm-hm.  I'll give you a tip: you can generally find the contestants I was just referring to by seeking out the redheads.  It's not perfect, though; at least one of them's a herring."

"A redheaded herring."

"Just so."

"I do not particularly desire a redheaded spouse any more than any other kind but they sound like fun people to know."

"I think you guys will really get along.  Platonically, at least on one side.  - I guess both sides at least at first; we're making most of them more monogamous for the season."

"I suppose it would interfere with your branding if we all wound up in some kind of complicated arrangement that required a color coded diagram."

"It's one of those things like the murders where when it happens rarely it's really good for the ratings, but if we pivoted to aiming for that sort of content we'd sink ourselves.  It's them being exceptional that makes them interesting."

"Is this season exceptional in such a way?"

"This is the first time we're trying having everyone be resurrectees!"

"Really! It seems like it should be such an effective method."

"Maybe we'll go on to produce many seasons like this, after this one.  We'll see how it does and whether I get any spooky feelings about the idea."

"It sounds so fun to have spooky feelings." Sigh.

"Maybe someday we will get to find out what I taste like."

A notecard comes into existence balanced on Addy's champagne glass.

Hi, Addy!  He's blueberry muffins.  And probably some other stuff I can't see yet.

- Nudge

"Blueberry muffins," she reports. "What is the conceit of this appearing notecard situation?"

"Oh, one of my alts is a much more powerful psychic than I am.  Strangely targeted, though, but he can send us video files just by having someone copy down a long string of numbers, or give us the chemical formula and manufacturing process for useful pharmaceuticals."

And I don't have a body.  Sorry!

"What a pity," Addy says, addressing the notecard.

You'll get by somehow.

"In all probability. How did you wind up attached to this project? I'd expect psychics to be in very broad demand."

"I have no memory of it, myself.  For Nudge, he approached us pretty much as soon as our respective worlds made contact."

"A mystery!"

"I have some guesses, but they've yet to be substantiated."

"Oh, do go ahead and speculate."

"My alts are pretty much all cursed to end up doing evil when they try to do good, but when we die we generally become psychic instead.  So probably I got involved with making some sort of sacrifice that ended with me dying and belonging to the other showrunners, and then getting mind controlled into being cooperative with them.  But I don't actually remember anything before this."

"Oh, what a curious combination. You appear alive, but what does that tell me, I suppose."

"Absolutely nothing!  It's a big multiverse with a lot of kinds of relationships to death."

"I want a university to prowl. But I will wait patiently."

"Thanks ever so.  Any more questions for me or shall I pass you off to costuming?"

"Will I be able to catch up with you again later should anything come up?"

"Yes, we'll be pulling people aside for confessionals, and there'll be plenty of ambient staff to flag down on top of that."

Thumbs up. "Let's get me something to sparkle in."

He waves her into the hallway.  "Good luck!"