The door opens again. A teenage girl peeks in. "What's going on?" she asks, softly.

The vampire's head snaps up from where he's been talking to the bar. He looks at the counter again and says, "I'll be right back," and a napkin appears with "No problem."

He gets off his stool veeeeeery slowly—which is to say, at completely average human speed—and skips over towards the door. "Hi! Welcome to Milliways, the bar at the end of the universe!" And he laughs the musical laughter typical of his species, because that's one of the coolest things ever, even if the fact that apparently not even Bar herself knows which universe annoys him a bit.

"But why is the bar at the end of the universe in my dorm? I confess that is very interesting, though," she says.
Why is his laughter so musical?
She walks in a bit further.

"It's not! It's everywhere and nowhere, apparently. It just randomly replaces doors in a bunch of different universes at pretty arbitrary places and points in time, we may not even be from the same world or year, you and I! When you close the door time pauses in your universe until you leave. Oh, and there's some weird translation magic going on in here, you'll always understand everyone else and vice-versa." He looks pretty giddy about it, beaming widely, and he's—well, gorgeous. Drop-dead gorgeous. Very pale, looks like he needs a nap, but gorgeous and even when he's not laughing his voice sounds like an actor's or something like that.

"That is cool. That is so cool. What kind of things do you know about your universe?" says Flora, interest piqued. She smiles slightly and closes the door. Her hand moves closer to her wand, just in case. He's probably an actor of some sort, the way he looks and sounds, maybe with some kind of magical enhancement, too.

"Com'ere, lemme introduce you to Bar." And he zips towards Bar, this time using his superspeed because he likes being fast and now he won't scare the new person away he doesn't need to pretend. Probably.

She walks over. "You're very fast and very pretty, is that part of the same package?" she inquires. She leans on the bar, glancing at the past napkins.

"Yeah! I'm a vampire, I dunno if you have those where you come from, you might and not know it if we're from the same world 'cause vampires are secret for now, but I won't eat you. Anyway, this is Bar, she talks via napkins and you can chat with her or ask her questions and she'll sell you appropriately-priced stuff according to where you're from except your first drink's free. Actually I haven't asked for mine..." he muses.

"'But I won't eat you' is not very reassuring, you know. ...Can I get a hot chocolate? Haven't had any in ages," she says to Bar. "I like to think I know things, though. If we're in the same universe, either you're going to know about my magic or I about your magic, if none of us know each other's magics, we're probably from different universes," she reasons. "Do you know about Hogwarts and wixen magic?"

"Of course," a napkin appears, and there's a hot chocolate.

"Sorry about not being reassuring," he laughs again. "But Milliways has security measures in place, if I tried to be threatening or hurt you nonconsensually it'd stop me."

"He's telling the truth," a napkin says.

"Anyway, nnoope, never heard of a Hogwarts or wixen magic, I don't think. I mean, we do have a type of magic and people who have that kind of magic are called 'witches' regardless of gender, but I think it's probably not the same thing."

She relaxes a bit and sniffs her hot chocolate. Then she drinks it. "And how do witches work?" she asks. "Are you a witch?"

"Um. Magic? I have no idea. And yeah, I am, I have pretty extensive personal biokinesis. Lookit!" And he sprouts a unicorn horn from his forehead. "Hey Bar, do you have synthetic human blood or something like that?"

"Of course, and I have many drinks that are more nutritive and taste better to your species than even human blood does."

"Oooh! Okay, colour me interested."

"You make it sound like there are other types of witch powers. ... ... Please tell me you aren't using real unicorn horns somehow?"

"Unicorns don't exist where I'm from, and there are several other types of witch powers, they're unique to each person that has them and as far as I know no two people have the same." His horn retracts. "Bar, can you get me a list of your stuff?"

"It's infinite. I could serve you what you're most likely to enjoy drinking."

"...that's a bit worrying."

"I don't actually have access to the contents of your mind, I'm just magic enough that 'produce whatever this person is most likely to enjoy consuming' is a primitive action."

"Okaaaay, then, I'll have that, whatever it is."

And lo: a blue fizzy drink. Sadde eyes it warily, and remembers something: "By the way, my name's Sadde."

"Flora. How do you get witch powers? Is it only hereditary, like on my world? I assume, from fiction, that vampires can make new vampires?"

"I don't know if it's hereditary actually, most of the witches I knew were vampires which are infertile. Well, penis-having vampires can impregnate uterus-having humans, but that used to not be happy for most people involved and the new government is taking care of it. I know the Empress is a witch and so's the princess, so that's some evidence... Anyway, people seem to have or not have magic pretty arbitrarily, and yeah vampires can make new vampires and it's a very unpleasant process." He decides to sip from the fizzy drink and his eyes widen. "Wow this is really good!"

"Unpleasant how? Is there other stuff to being a vampire? Can you like, turn into a bat? What does sunlight do?"

"Well... there isn't much of a tee el dee are, I guess the worst part is the three days of mind-destroying agony and then the fact that people will forever smell like something more delicious than anything you've ever eaten in your life, delicious enough to turn otherwise decent and upstanding people into serial killers. Can't turn into a bat, and sunlight makes us sparkle like diamonds." Sip sip, happy noises.

"Can you show me the sparkling?" says Flora, and smiles a bit.

"Sure!" He finishes drinking. "You take credit card?" he asks Bar.

"I can debit it automatically from your bank account in a way that won't raise any red flags."

"Cool! You're the best bar."

"Thank you."

"Anyway, it needs to be actual sunlight, so we'll need to go outside." And he zaps to the door.

Flora walks after him.
Vampireness doesn't sound very nice, she thinks.

He opens the door, and then walks towards a sunny spot, and: sparkles!

Flora eyes him and says, "That's pretty.."

He zips back to her, grinning. "Other advantages include superstrength and speed, enhanced cognition, perfect recall, ridiculously expanded brainspace, enhanced senses including the ability to see in ultraviolet and talk and hear in registers humans can't, also hold multiple conversations at the same time due to the above, agelessness, prettiness, almost complete immortality if no one tears you to pieces and sets you on fire, you never have to sleep, I think that's it."

"Ooh. I love most of that, but I really, really don't need enhanced senses." She thinks of something. "Hm, do vampires have to actually bite the person they're vampiring?"

"Nope, just need to inject venom into the blood stream. And are you sure about the enhanced senses? I can actually count the number of hairs in your head from here. From much farther away than here, in fact. And the enhanced cognition is pretty amazing, too."

"I'm autistic. Enhanced senses get a total and absolute nope in my head - I already get meltdowns from sensory overstimulation. But I can think of a lot of people who might want to have that in my world, people whom I trust, so if venom stores, can I get some to take home?"

"Um, I should also list the disadvantages and ambiguous parts too, first. Also, I think your brain will change enough in that respect that you won't be overloaded? It's... literally impossible for a vampire to be overstimulated, mental discomfort is basically nonexistent."

"Hmm...Well, you could... write it all down, and I'll always have either the venom or a vampire, right? Also, please put it into an unbreakable container."

"Unbreakable container, right. We should probably go back inside? Bar could help us with that I think."

"Yeah, sure." She walks through the door and up to Bar. "How much is a mundanely unbreakable, vampire-venom resistant container with a lid?"

"That depends on what you mean by mundanely unbreakable. Glass resists that kind of venom, so I could offer you tempered glass."

"That won't be necessary, actually, all I'd need is a stopper," says Sadde, and holds out his hand, palm up, from which a vial made of bone starts growing. "My body is resistant to my own venom, and vampire bone is pretty close to unbreakable."

"I meant that it shouldn't break if dropped. Alright then, how much is a stopper of that size, also venom-resistant, please?" She points at Sadde's vial. Then she remembers, "And parchment with a quill- no, paper with a pen, thinking like a witch again, those too, please."

The Bar quotes an appropriate price in galleons and sickles and knuts. Sadde looks at it curiously. "You don't need to worry, I can pay, I'm actually pretty rich." So Bar quotes another price, in British pounds.

"Oh, thank you, but I can afford it. You're being so nice to me, and you're already going to give me the venom, and the vial, and the list! I can afford it, really," she says, blushing slightly.

He raises an eyebrow. "If you say so. But the first and most important thing I think you'd need to know is that there's one condition for my giving you this vial, which is that I come with you to your world, for at least a year. Drawback number two is that, for a year after turning, vampires are much stronger than their older counterparts and also much less capable of controlling their emotions and impulses. Knowing about vampires beforehand does help a lot there, but just giving you this without any supervision would be tantamount to releasing a serial killer in your world."

She pays for the things. "Oh. You should probably write that list, then. ...What if you're stuck there? I mean, wix do have spells that immobilise people, and spells that give control of your body to someone else, and I might be able to make a new spell that does something useful? I could go to the room of requirement if nothing else.
...Wait, am I even going to remain a witch when it's done? And I won't have Bar's synthetic things, either, what do normal vampires even drink, if not human blood?" She gets more and more worried as she goes through that speech.

He starts writing the list as he speaks (possibly to show off his multitasking skills): "I don't particularly have a whole lot of attachments where I'm from, and the current shadow government is very benevolent so I don't mind being stuck somewhere I can be more useful. As for immobilising people..." He crosses the bar and is back in less than a second. "Unless you can be faster than that, a vampire will have no trouble evading attacks unless their range is ridiculously high. I don't know if you'll remain a witch when you turn, I have no idea how your witchcraft works, but it does boost my kind. And vampires can feed on animal blood, too, plus if I'm going to be there I can just generate an endless supply."

"I meant someone would bind me beforehand, would that work? And I wouldn't like to impose, I'll try animals first."

"Oh. It might work, yeah, but unless they can keep it up indefinitely it won't be much help, especially if they're all human and smelling delicious and you're a newborn vampire without a whole lot when it comes to self-control feeling annoyed that you're being immobilised. It's best if you spend your first year away from humans if at all possible. Here," he hands her the list:

• Three days of increasing fiery agony, more pain than a human body could handle without dying, but the venom makes you not die.


• Emotions are much more expansive and hard to control, especially when you're new. Mild annoyances are rage, slight sadness is the worst of depression, light humour is cackling hilarity, etc.


• For the first year you'll be burning off your own blood from when you were a human, which will make you stronger than other vampires.


• The pain of turning never disappears from your throat, and flares whenever you smell blood, especially human blood, which smells good enough to drive normal people to thoughtless murder and to typically consider humans little more than snacks.


• Human blood makes your eyes crimson, animal blood makes them gold. Animal blood makes you weaker but clearer-headed and makes it easier to resist humans in the future, but drinking human blood even once will make it hard to resist for a long, long time.


• A packet of vampire instincts is installed in your brain that are pretty hard to control when compounded by the growing emotions.


• Females can never bear children, males can impregnate humans to have half-vampire children but that's a very difficult process that kills the mother without proper care and turning her after the birth.


• Not only do you not need sleep, you will never again be able to sleep.


• Your senses are heightened to a point that the first few minutes of vampire life can be enough to make you forget all but the most important aspects of your life as a human, including faces and names and places.


• You don't strictly need to breathe, and it'll be best not to until you can control yourself around humans, but it feels annoying to be deprived of it.


• You can actually see blood coursing through a human's shallower veins, which doesn't help with the self-control.


• Animal blood tastes absolutely rancid, worse than anything you've ever tasted and then some, but isn't actually unhealthy and will feed you.


• Vampires have a magical soul-mate thing where they will instantly fall in love completely and utterly with a person on laying eyes upon them. You will invariably be compatible and you two will be happy together if you give it a chance, but unless the other person is also a vampire it's not instantly symmetric; it does become symmetric once the human turns into a vampire. It's also completely and strictly monogamous, if you mate on someone no one else will ever mate on them and while you're alive they won't mate on anyone else.

(And yes, Sadde does write in italics.)

"Oh, wow. This will need very careful consideration and organisation. Like, at least a week. And I'll turn after I graduate, too, I don't want to be stuck only in the room of requirement. Somewhere in the wilderness, probably. I'd also have to perform egg removal, probably. And I might let someone else have a go at this first, to make sure wix magic stays, they could provide me with more venom. Could a sense-dulling potion possibly help with the pain and forgetting everything? Is there any way to predict who you're going to mate to? What are these vampire instincts you mention?"

"If the sense dulling potion is magic, possibly, but morphine at least doesn't make the pain go away and makes the person be unable to move until it's been burnt off by the process. I think breaking the neck works for a while? But then it's fixed. Also back home there's a witch who can erase senses and make the pain go away working for the shadow government, but being stuck there is worse for your than for me. It is as far as I know impossible to predict who you'll mate to, but like I said, you won't regret it whoever it turns out to be. The instincts are stuff like other vampires are dangerous and should be fought for prey, and humans are prey, that kind of stuff. But in any case I am still very much going with you, first."

"Mmm. Alright then. Let's see who else comes in the next few hours, I guess, then back to my world if no one of interest does."

Here's someone! A girl, no older than sixteen, wearing a black-and-blue frilly dress with two katanas crossed on her back. She peeks her head in.

"Does she count?" Sadde asks, before skipping over to her and repeating, "Welcome to Milliways, the bar at the end of the universe!"

"Hello. The Milliways door ate yours, if you come in and close the door time stops in your world, if you go out and close the door you'll get your door back." Flora is somewhat more informative than Sadde.

Sadde thinks the fact that it's a bar at the end of the universe is much more important information than the door thing, but you know, to each their own.

And if the girl had any doubts about the bar, after hearing the bit about the door they vanished.

"How can there be a bar at the end of the universe?" she asks, walking after Sadde towards the actual bar.

"Ridiculous amounts of magic."

"Yes, quite. Interesting costume you got there," she comments.

"Thanks! It's magic, I'm a magical girl, and I fight witches."

"Probably not the same kind of witch as mine or hers," he says, gesturing at Flora, "since we're both witches."

"Yeeeeah not the same kind of witch I think."

"What kind of witch is your witch?"

"Horrible creatures that distort space and time that generate from and feed on despair."

"Um. Yeah, no, my kind of witch is just humans or vampires or werewolves with one magical power and hers is humans that can do potions and spells, apparently, by the way I need to ask both of you a lot of stuff."

"Vampires and werewolves?"

"Despair? That sounds really awful. Wait, you never mentioned werewolves before, what are they like? What kind of stuff?"

"Bar, some more paper?" he asks, and starts writing on it. "Vampires are the sort of thing I am," Sadde tells the new girl, "and by the way I'm Sadde and she's Flora."

"Willow."

"Pleasure. I'm writing here a list of all the stuff vampires can do and how they can do it, mostly the advantages 'cause Flora has a list of the disadvantages, but you might guess super multitasking is amongst our superpowers. Werewolves are born that way where I'm from, they were magically created somehow to fight vampires and people with the werewolf gene can floof when in contact with a vampire after puberty, and then they quickly age until they look twenty-five and stop aging then. They can turn into giant wolves at will, and in that form they basically share all their thoughts with their pack. They also have a magic soulmate thing going on but it's different and completely asymmetrical. As for the stuff I wanna ask, mostly how your magic works."

"'Floof'? That sounds really cute. ... Your world is really, really into the soulmate thing, isn't it. ..Are there any other species? And, oh, feel free to ask about the magic, I just don't really know where to start."

Willow takes the list once Sadde's done with it and starts reading. "...okay, either the drawbacks are really huge or everyone should be a vampire."

"There are some pretty severe drawbacks but I still think everyone should be a vampire. And there are also part-vampires where I'm from, half—and quarter—and three-quarters and stuff, but other than that no species that I know of. Let's start with you, Flora?"

Flora offers the list of drawbacks to Willow. "Like I said, I'm not sure where to start. The mechanics, maybe? Okay, right. It's like, for everyone but the most powerful and skilled wixen, to cast a spell you need to have a wand and wave it correctly, you need to speak the incantation correctly, and sometimes you need an intent component, such as where you want to float something you're levitating." She demonstrates, floating a napkin up and down, left and right.
"Potions are kind of like stored magic, if you get what I mean. They need even more precision, but they let you get big effects without exhausting yourself. There's also Runes which let you ward a place or make a magical object. And then I can also make new spells because I took Arithmancy. Oh, there's Divination too, maybe it can help find who I'll mate to? I'll try that, in any case. It's imprecise for all but the most basic of things, but that should work."

Willow pauses her exploration of the list of drawbacks to watch the floating and pay some attention. "That’s really different than my magic," she comments.

"Mine, too," Sadde agrees, then starts writing down the questions as he asks them. "How do you get a wand? Does it have to be a wand as opposed to some other implement? Why? What's the range of magic you can do? You mentioned it's hereditary, how common is it? Is it secret? Is there a shadow government? Are there other species than humans?"

(Explanation mode engaged.)
"Wandmakers sell them. It could be a staff but those are unwieldy and old-fashioned. It channels magic, and to do so most efficiently you need a core covered by magical wood, with a gluing substance in-between. The most impressive, at least from my perspective, feat of magic modern wixen are capable of is the Fidelius charm, which hides one place from everyone except those who are told about it and its location by a person called the Secret Keeper. I forget the statistics but not that many, somewhere around 300,000. It is secret, and here lies one of the most horrible things about our world: if a non-magical person sees magic, their memories are removed or even modified! There are the various Ministries of Magic, but not a shadow government, I don't think. There are lots of non-human sentient species, in fact, and they are not treated very well."

"That's terrifying. The memory thing. I want to overthrow your governments."

Willow looks pensive.

"I was hoping to do it peacefully, bring down the Statute of Secrecy all at once, perhaps, and nothing anyone can do matters, but I suppose that way might work too? Especially with, you know, vampire help. And possibly -- magical girl help, did I get it right?"

"Yep, but I can't go to another world for too long because I need to fight witches to stay alive."

"That sounds pretty terrible."

"Oh wow, why is that?"

"I need magic to survive, and I need to fight witches for the magic."

"Can I cast a spell to see your magic? I might be able to help, we've already speculated that sense dulling potions might help with turning into a vampire. I might be able to help with your magic somehow?"

"...I'm not sure."

"It won't do anything except tell me about your magic, I promise."

"Yeah, that's the thing I'm not sure about."

"...why?"

"Because, not to put too fine a point on it, you two seem nice and all but I don't know if I should actually show you the source of my powers."

"Oh. Well. I see what you mean. You've seen my wand, it's not the source of my powers, but I'm pretty helpless without it, I guess," she offers. "But I mean well, and he definitely does, you've read about vampires."

"I'm actually dead without mine."

"...your magic sounds really unfriendly."

Flora shivers. "Now I really want to know why that is, and whether I can fix it. But it is very, very up to you, I won't do anything at all without consent." She shivers again. "Sadde, can I cast on you, just to see how it works on offworlders?"

"Sure, go ahead."

She casts, bringing her wand around Sadde and then herself.
His body radiates strength, speed and durability, almost like a magical creature or a non-human sapient species with those qualities, but different, alien. It also projects a quality of "This is not a thing that gets sick or ages". His mind has a comparable quality. There is a metaphorical rope, flitting around, looking for a compatible rope to attach to, or a compatible absence of it to wrap around. There is a- a slot, which contains magic. The magic is connected to life itself, and looks able to generate life and living things, and also looks like it can change its user.
"It's really different, but definitely decipherable, with lots of staring and me looking back over my notes on the subject. I got about half of the things it told me, which is decent. I think I can figure most of it out if I have the notes."

"What'd it tell you?"

"I definitely saw your strength, speed and durability. I saw some kind of metaphorical rope which was searching for something, from context I think that's the mate bond. And, there's, a slot which contains life-oriented magic, which is probably your biokinesis. If I didn't already know about these things it would have taken me a lot longer to figure them out, though."

"Okay, that sounds really interesting."

"...I think I'm curious enough to let you do it to me."

"I'd like to get my notes first. Sadde, if I hold the door, could you please fetch them? They're in the cupboard at the bed with pink pillows, you'll have to go around and through the bathroom, they're in the top drawer." She holds the door open.

"Sure!"

And he's back in less than ten seconds.

She takes her time re-reading her notes.

Well, Sadde's gonna have to interrogate Willow!

"So, what can you tell me about your magic?"

"A lot of stuff, what do you wanna know?"

"Let's start with what kinds of powers you have?"

"Magical fighting skills, general-purpose healing, agility and strength, I can see and fight witches, some miscellaneous minor magic like short-range teekay, um, that's it."

"That seems... really strongly geared towards fighting those witches. Is that all your magic can do?"

"More or less."

Flora has finished reading her notes.
"So, are you ready for the analysis spell, Willow?"

"Sure!"

Flora casts, bringing her wand around Willow and then herself.

There are strings of light coming from a bright crystal at the base of her throat, connecting it to her limbs and head. The body has... not an artificial feel to it, but definitely a somewhat superfluous one. It's very clear that the crystal is the source of, well, almost everything there, and that there is a level of taint in it, something corrupting it.

She doesn't let go of the analysis yet and says, "Your crystal is the source of your magic, and it is... corrupted with something. Also, your body looks a bit... redundant?... somehow. I'm going to keep looking."

"Yes, it's corrupted with despair. When I use magic it gets filled with that, and killing a witch gives me an artifact that I can use to transfer the despair to. What do you mean by redundant?"

As she keeps looking... well, everything about Willow is magical. Her body's clearly animated by magic, her outfit's magic, her katanas are magic. There's also a... connection to something else. Like a link made of light and darkness, entwined, coming from within her metaphorical heart and feeding everything, including the crystal.

"It's animated by magic, that's odd. The crystal is powered by your metaphorical heart through some sort of link." She keeps looking, what's the link like?

It's difficult to discern. The darkness of the link is definitely recognizable as the "taint," the despair, and it's in equal quantities with something else, something like its diametrical opposite. They're in an almost symbiotic relationship, one generates the other at the same time as it feeds on it. However, the light aspect also feeds her magic, so there's some leftover despair that's not being used for anything.

She clutches her crystal. "My body's animated by magic? It didn't—change when I became a magical girl. What do you mean, metaphorical heart? Um, I did get powers by making a wish."

"A wish?"

"Yes, but it's totally fine otherwise. It's not like an inferius, that is, an animated corpse, or anything like that, it has all its functions, you can still do everything like a normal human, the only thing is, don't get out of its range.
Also, I think it might let you survive your body's death.
Metaphorical heart is basically where emotions come from, in magical terms.

...The link is made of despair and its... opposite, some form of happiness, probably. Maybe excitement or hope? That opposite powers your magic, and the despair remains left over as the taint in your crystal."
Still looking, what else can she find out?

"Wait wait wait, hold the heck up. Don't get out of whose range? Survive my body's death? What?"

That's pretty much it, no more details become immediately apparent.

"I mean the crystal's range.
It seems like if you die but your crystal is still okay, someone else could get you a new body and hook it up to your crystal, and then you could continue right where you left off. That gets a lot cooler if it combines with vampirism in interesting ways."

"Okay you're gonna have to be a little more specific than that. I'm—new body? I'm, what, a lich or something?"

"What's a lich? You are that crystal over there, your body is just a thing that lets you affect the world."

"Yes, that's what a lich is. Like, undead thing, soul is in a phylactery, usually a jewel, can control body from afar and regenerate it when it dies, if the phylactery is destroyed the lich dies, too."

"That actually sounds pretty cool, except for the distance thing."

"Yeah, you're that, except you yourself can't regenerate the body from nothing, you need someone else's help. I don't quite get how another magical girl might go about making you a new body, but it looks possible, if costly."

"Yeah, that's not very likely."

"Why not?"

"Magical girls aren't very nice where I'm from."

"Well, they don't exactly have to do it out of the goodness of their heart, you could trade them valuable things or information. Like, this information that we just found out, or something."

"Yeah I'm not sure I trust them that far."

"...that's worrying. Why are they mean? That kinda runs counter the fictional stereotype, says the pot to the kettle."

"Witches are a scarce resource, we need them to survive, so magical girls often compete and fight for them."

"Uh, okay, that has some pretty awful implications and forms a terrible incentive structure."

"Oh, wow."

"That's not even the worst part. Sometimes magical girls actively let witches grow and feed on people so their grief seeds can store enough despair. And there's a thing called a 'familiar' which is a shoot-off from a witch, it's less dangerous but still kills people except it doesn't drop a grief seed when it dies so some magical girls just leave them be."

"Grief seed? That the magic you need to survive?"

"Yeah, little evil-looking crystal things I can transfer despair to."

She shivers. "That is really horrible."

"Yup. Pretty terrible deal, I should probably have spent a good while longer questioning the Kyubey."

"The who now?"

"Little furry magical thing that grants wishes and turns girls into magical girls in exchange."

"Wishes?"

"Well, one wish per magical girl, but yeah, you ask for one and then become magical."

"How big a wish could you ask for, though?"

"That depends on this magical fuzzy 'potential' magical girls have. Most girls don't run into their limits, but the more potential, the bigger the wish they can ask for."

"Oh. What kind of wish could a girl with average potential get?"

"I don't know how much potential is average potential, and I didn't really ask."

"What was your wish?"

"...that's kind of a personal question, I think."

"Oh. Um. I'm sorry, I sometimes ask very prying questions, I'm so sorry about that," she says, and makes herself very small.

"It's alright."

"Anyway, I think I really dislike your kind of magic and I'm wondering if I can make you immortal in a not-lich way with venom."

"I'm not entirely sure how they'd interact. Any ideas on how to test it?"

"None that don't involve having to go to her world, which I'm thinking I might do anyway."

"But weren't you going to go to mine? How are we planning to do these, now?"

"Yes, that is a problem. Your world sounds like it needs immortal superpowered vampires less than hers, but."

"Yeah. Maybe there's some way to do both...? I don't know. We could part and hope to meet again, but that is rather extremely unlikely... I did think of several spells that could be used to stop a vampire rampage... Actually, do you think it's possible to Apparate into Milliways? Probably not, but, worth thinking about, just in case."

"I don't know, and also I'm still somewhat sceptical of spells you could use to hold a vampire down that wouldn't end up with a very damaged and angry feral individual."

"I could demonstrate right now, if you wanted? On you, so you could see how it works, or something..."

"Should I act as a newborn would? Minus the 'actually trying to eat you' part?"

"Yeah, probably." She stands ready to cast the Full Body Bind. "I'm ready, I think."

Willow watches this warily.

And in a little bit less than a sixth of a second Sadde's gripping Flora with both hands, pinning her arms to her body, his mouth open and his (very sharp) teeth touching Flora's throat. He growls a bit, a low menacing sound almost designed to make human instincts go haywire.

Willow screams.

Flora only had time to do a third of the spell. It is designed to be fast, but it wasn't fast enough.

She goes into full on meltdown mode.

STOP STOP NO 

He lets go and takes a step back. "Sorry about that," he says very calmly.

"Dude are you fucking insane?!"

He ignores Willow. "It's likely you could precast something like that if you did it before the newborn finished turning, I won't deny it, but I don't need even half a second to do that, that'd be enough, and newborn vampires are faster than I am. Not to mention that, as soon as they turn, they're not at their most rational, instinct and emotion is taking over, and if the very first thing they have when they wake up is someone binding them, they might not be able to calm down enough to actually become rational. Then again, they might. But I meant to demonstrate that vampires are very dangerous."