"It really does! It has your name all over it! Your--your musk!"

"It does not have my musk, my musk is so manly, like Lynx Africa, smell me, smell me, bitch, smell me!"

"No, no, no, stop, stop. I--I swear to God, Tommy, if you've got something to do with this, there will be consequences."

"Toby! Listen to me. Look me in the eyes. Does this look like something I would do. Because it wasn't."

"Hell if I know, Tommy! You've been radio silent since Wilbur--"

"I have not--Toby--listen to me. This does not sound like something I would do."

"Don't--" Deep breath. "Promise me, Tommy. Promise, Tommy. You haven't done this."

"It just doesn't sound like something Tommy Ingram would do. All Tommy know is talk to girl and consume drug. He's a very simple fella."

"I don't care what it sounds like, I'm asking, did you do it."

"I--it just doesn't sound like something I would do! I didn't have anything to do with it! Absolutely...........not. No. No. No."

"...I'm gonna be honest, Tommy, this has your name all over it."

"Trust me, trust me, trust me, this is not me. Does this look like something I would do--"

"YES!"

"--no, man's mature, I am friends with big J, Jesus, and one day I will be friends with Ariana Grande, trust me, this is not me."

Sigh. "I think we ought to talk to George, like, actually talk to George and Clay, and find out."

"Yeah! Let's talk to them. It might not even be--it might just be--I don't know why everyone's being so weird."

"Yeah. Okay. It might just be--it might just be a misunderstanding."

Probably not. But maybe.

And when they go to study group, waiting among the half-put-together chairs are Clay, George, and Nick.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

"Hello. I assume you're here about--um, Clay mentioned something of yours had gone missing."

"George's stuff was stolen. By Tommy."

"Evidence, bitch! Evidence! You have no evidence!"

"Was it?"

"Yes."

"I don't know what would have--no, no, it would have been redistributed. If anything. This doesn't sound like something I would do. It sounds like something an incredibly cool person would do. Like Robin Hood. Go find Robin Hood, bitch."

"Shut up, Tommy."

"Listen, I want Tommy punished. I want something to happen to Tommy for what he's done."

"Are you insane, bitch? What the fuck?"

"Tommy, shut up."

"If nothing else, we will take the fabric back, and we will punish Tommy. Make a decision, punish Tommy. Tommy cannot be--going around stealing things, you know, I heard he might have stolen one of Nick's pencils! I am--if he is punished, I am willing to let that go, but he can't be doing all of these things, causing trouble."

"I did not--when would I even have gotten a chance to steal Nick's pencil, isn't that Alex's thing, maybe Alex took it."

"Tommy, stop."

"What evidence do you even have that this was yours, how do we know this is even real and you didn't just, make it up because you wanted some fabric, huh! How do we know!"

"Why would Clay lie?"

"Because he's... he's a menace to society. Like the Joker. He's watched the Joker one too many times and now he's a bad man."

"Tommy."

"You're not going to--you're not going to punish me, I didn't do anything, I know I didn't because I'm me. I mean it, it just doesn't sound like something I would do!"

"It sounds exactly like something you would do!"

"You clearly don't know me very well, then."

"You need to be quiet from now on, okay?"

"I didn't do it! I know I didn't because I am me and I would never lie to myself, I would only talk like, innocent, because I am innocent. Look me in the eyes. I never lie. Unless I want to. There you go, wasn't me."

"And how do we know this isn't you just wanting to lie now?"

"I would only do crimes if they were fun and hilarious."

"Tommy, you need to stop talking."

"Why would I stop talking when I am me and everything I say is awesome, hmmmm? Riddle me that, bitch."

"You're hurting your case, Tommy."

"I am not! I just should not be punished!"

"Tommy, I'm on your side here, but--"

"Well then don't fucking punish me, bro! Even if I did do it you shouldn't punish me, I have human rights, I'm a human, bitch, I'm a human--"

"Tommy, when you supposedly stole George's stuff, you voided those rights. So just stop, okay? We're going to sort this out--"

"You can't void human rights, you fucking prick! Toby be like human rights don't matter if you do a bad thing--"

"How about this, you have the right to remain silent."

"Toby be like capital punishment is poggers."

"Shut up. Jesus Christ."

"How do we know he saw it right! George is, he's fuckin', colorblind, how would he know what fabric it is."

"I can still recognize it. So can Clay."

"It just doesn't seem like something I would do."

"So what you're saying is, a blue and green plaid piece of fabric just coincidentally went missing from my room the day after you were in it, even though I checked the wards and alarm systems and no mals have gotten through, and coincidentally, you used a blue and green plaid piece of fabric to add a pocket to your backpack, and the fact that you sew and have an affinity for taking things has no relevance."

"Uhhhhh, basically, yeah."

"So how do you propose it ended up from my room to your room, if you didn't take it?"

"Your mom."

"Tommy, this is serious."

"Come on, it was funny, though."

"This is stupid. Can't we just, like, punish him and get it over with."

"You didn't even realize it was missing for, like, a week."

"Right, is that a confession?"

"I have human rights! Maybe I was hallucinating, maybe I was under the influence, hmm! I'm a minor!"

"I need you to be quiet. I've been advised to--to stop associating with you. But that's--that's a very extreme measure, and so I was--hoping we could please both parties by a kind of probation. Everything you do, you'll have to tell me. For--two weeks, let's say--either me or Clay will have to supervise you at all times. Does that seem--does that seem reasonable?"

"What's pr-- What the fuck does that mean. I don't know that word."

"I literally--I just explained that."

"I wasn't listening."

"Okay. This is your last chance--"

"Or what, bitch? ...Sorry, I didn't mean that, continue?"

"Or else I won't repeat it again. Everything you do, we'll keep tabs on, for two weeks."

"This is insane! Clay--Clay threatened you, tried to get you to stop associating with me--"

"And I'm hoping this will be enough of a satisfying conclusion that that doesn't happen."

"Probation isn't enough. Tommy is--he hasn't apologized once. He's spent this whole meeting insulting us. You're his friend, right, Toby?"

"I am, yes."

"Then you know he's not going to stop. Tommy is Tommy. He likes pissing people off, riling them up. He's like--a little annoying bug. He's not going to learn respect in two weeks. If you want to be associated with someone who goes around antagonizing senior enclavers--I mean, look, you want to think about it, that's fine. We can take a few days, cool off, I expect him to deliver the fabric back. If we come back and Tommy's saying the same thing, and you're still pushing for a compromise, we can... I'll have some stuff to say. If you change your mind, and decide you don't want his actions associated with you--I think that's probably the best thing to do--we're fine. And if you don't change your mind, we can... We can talk about it. Right now, it looks like you and your whole study group--support what he did. And I don't think that's the best idea for any of you, to, to enable him."

Fuck.

"We can... we can talk about it in three days, then."

"Great. Same time and place?"

"That works for me, yes."

"Great. 2nd of December. I will--I will see you then."

And Clay and his two friends leave.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

"Toby, you're not--you're not actually going to be monitoring me, right? Not like--I mean, obviously we both watch each other's backs--this is fucking insane, it's humiliating."

"Did you--did you hear what Clay said? If you don't change in three days, they won't just be taking action against you, they'll be taking action against me, against the entire study group. Because you wanted a piece of fabric. You've done enough! You couldn't even stop insulting them for five minutes! You don't realize that your actions have consequences, guess what, they do!"

"I know my actions have consequences."

"Well, Clay says he has more stuff to say."

"What the fuck does that even mean."

"Hell if I know."

"This is all starting to seem a little... A little much."

"Yeah, I would--I would say so!"

"Fine, fine, I'll stop then. From now on, I won't--I'm sorry, alright?"

"Okay. That's, that's good."

"--Hold on." KNIFE. THERE IS A MAL AND IT IS BEING STABBED WITH TOMMY'S KNIFE. DIE, BITCH, DIE.

Okay. It was not that big of a mal. They're fine now. Also Toby's laughing, which is better!

"Goddamnit. That mal really just--ruined our moment."

"A little bit."

"Honestly, Tommy, I'm--I don't want to do this, you know I don't. Just promise me that--you'll work with me, to help get you out of trouble without putting all of us, including you, in more danger, okay? Just promise me that."

"I didn't do that thinking that--that Clay was going to--"

"You have to think about the consequences."

"I don't want to--I don't want to hurt any of you, that's not what I want to do, you know I want to stay with you, Toby. That would be--I hated that, just now, when you were... The worst thing in the world right now would be for some fucking bitch to tear us apart."

"Yeah. Honestly, Tommy, I'm-- We're a team, right? We're a team. We've got this."

"Alright. I'm--I'm sorry."

"Thank you. I, I appreciate that.

You're still on probation."

"Whaaaaat?! Really? Fu-u-uck. This sucks."

"Sorry, big man."

"I--I do mean it, though. I trust you, alright? --One second--"

He rummages through his backpack until he finds what he's looking for: a small, bumpy metal cylinder. Frère Jacques.

"I want you to keep this. So you know--no matter who says I did whatever, no matter who says anything, you know that I trust you."

"Oh! Oh, thank you! I trust you too! I'll, uh, I'll keep this safe."

Nod. "I should probably, uh, work on your homework now or whatever."

"Yeah. We got--kind of distracted. I'll trade you my English homework for your Artificing homework."

"Deal."

And three days later, before class, he carries a piece of fabric to Clay's room. It is--it's fucking scary, he has no idea how Wilbur did this, though he supposes at least Wilbur was going towards safer rooms rather than more dangerous ones. He does more jumping and shaking at shadows than he'd like to admit. He's fairly good at using his knife when it comes up, but overall, he would really prefer to never make that journey ever again. He probably should have arranged it in advance with Toby, got a hall buddy, but, well, Wilbur never did, and Tommy's kind of bad at thinking ahead, which is how they ended up in this mess in the first place.

He gets there eventually, though, and knocks on the door. "HELLO?"

"Come in."

"I brought your stuff back."

"You also broke the terms of your probation. Toby's supposed to be watching you."

"How about, wow, thank you Tommy, you walked all the way here as a freshman to give me a piece of cloth that I wasn't even using. To which I say aw, thank you Clay for the appreciation. Except for how actually fuck you."

"I'm just pointing out the facts, and the fact is, you were supposed to be supervised. You really shouldn't be insulting me, either."

"Why not? What are you going to do, huh, threaten me? Threaten Toby?"

Clay straightens up, tilts his head. Smiles. "Well. That's up to you, isn't it?"

"I'm not scared of you."

"Maybe you should be. Nothing wrong with a bit of fear once in a while."

"I am... going to go now."

(Behind his back, his fingers find what they're looking for and tuck it in a pocket of his backpack.)

“Bye, Tommy! See you tonight!”

Ugh.

...Well, he definitely made a decision just now that he did not come here intending to make. Probably a bad one, except for how maybe it might be a great one. Actually, probably it will be a great one, because he is great and only has great ideas. As long as Clay doesn't notice before the meeting.

And on the way to the library: "Remember, Clay's going to be there today, alright? Tommy, you really have to be on your best behavior for me today, please, because worst thing--like, Clay could make things really bad for, for all of us, and we don't want that, okay? He already--I mean, he threatened me, if I don't kick you out of study group--"

"You're not going to fucking kick me out, bro. He's not going to actually do anything. You're all taking this way too seriously, bro. Hey, Tubbo, I'm going to start calling you bro all of the time. Hey, bro. --Wait, watch this. Hey, bruv."

"Oh, you're calling me bruv now. Okay. Right, okay, Tommy, you have to be on your best behavior, you have to agree to everything Clay says, you have to be nice, you have to be sorry, and hopefully he'll agree that--the probation and supervision is enough, and he walks out of there, no further consequences, we can be incredibly happy."

"I'm always incredibly happy!"

"You just have to--you have to work with me here, okay, because we do not have the resources to fight anyone."

"We'll be fine."

"I'm just saying--listen, realistically there are a lot of bad things that could happen if this goes poorly."

"Another realistic option is being eaten by a mal, prick. Mm, yeah, considered that? I've been fucking researching. I had a class on mals in poetry today so now I know all about them. Thank me later."

"...Of course. Are you taking in any of this--"

"I just said, I've been researching! Learned about fucking--glinder, I know about glinder now."

"...Yeah. Tommy, maybe--maybe try to say, like, minimal amounts when we go in, okay? For your sake."

"You're being--you're being an arse, man, listen--"

"Me? I'm not the one who stole from an enclave!"

"Yeah, but, like-- if the roles were reversed, I wouldn't even be listening to Clay! He threatened you, man! If you were the one getting up to stupid shit, let's think about this for a second, I wouldn't punish you! I'd bail you out, I wouldn't even bat an eye about it!"

...Sigh. "Let's just keep walking."

"I do know about mals now, though. They're all going around eating people and they've got weird names like grogler. I think if something is named grogler it should have some fuckin' shame about eating people, like, that's just a bad name."

"Okay. Clay's already there, don't say much bad crap, okay? Be positive. Minimal words."

"Toby, please, for the love of God, you know me, I'm not going to be quiet. You know I'm not going to be fucking minimal words. Listen, Toby, we-- and I hate to, uh, I hate to break the immersion here, you know I'm not gonna stay quiet."

"Okay, well, if you do want to speak, be positive and apologetic for me."

"That's not how I--I'm just addressing the elephant in the room, which is me, although I'm not the size of an elephant. In height I am. Not in weight, I'm not wide. If I was wide, though, if I was stretchy--oh, this world would be real different right now. I have been awake for so many hours."

"Please don't fuck this up, Tommy, I swear to God."

"I'm telling you, I'm likely going to! I don't understand--I have a habit of talking all the time! Can't control me gob, I'm like a fucking, I'm like one of them chatterboxes! And it's--this is already fucked up, man, you put me on fucking probation, you're talking about punishing me--I would never--"

"Yeah, maybe you wouldn't! But I wouldn't put you in this situation! I wouldn't have stolen from an enclaver, I wouldn't have been rude to an enclaver, if you asked me to stop I would have!" Sigh. They're almost there; he straightens up, puts on a pleasantly neutral expression. Last chance for trying to get Tommy to listen before Clay's in earshot. "Look, just--try to be quiet, okay? For your own safety."

"I'm not going to be fucking quiet!" Oh shit, Clay's, like, right there. "...Hi."

"Hello."

"You said you had something you wanted to address."

"Yeah. I already told you, I want Tommy punished. I told you, you had three days and you can come back to me, we can have this meeting...?"

"Okay. Well. I don’t t-- Is th-- I’m just trying to think of what would be a good compromise. I want to-- I want to do bargaining, if you will. I'm--I'm willing to punish Tommy. I don't think--you haven't been very clear on what you want, other than that you want me to stop associating with him."

"Well, we were going to use that in--George was going to use it for an artifact. If Tommy made it, using his mana, I'd consider that--I'd say that that's fair. Otherwise--I mean, your group is just--going around causing problems, you know? Wilbur and Tommy both being purposely rude to older enclavers, Wilbur cutting us off from trade and destroying community property, Tommy stealing--I would want to let other people know."

What the fuck!!!! Clay was the one who gave Wilbur the stuff to do that in the first place!!!!!! He does not say "what the fuck" because he is being extremely restrained but he does make some sort of noise about this.

Toby glares at him.

"Sorry, please, sorry! I just--poked my eye, I was feeling pain!" THIS SUCKS. THIS IS SO FUCKING UNFAIR. WILBUR AND TERRENCE WERE RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING.

It would be really, really, really bad, for all of them, if Clay went around letting people know that their study group is fine with antagonizing enclaves.

It's also totally infeasible for Tommy, who is (a) a freshman, (b) not artificing track, (c) Tommy, to help in any meaningful way with George's artifact.

Fuck.

"Okay! Okay. I think--that's definitely bad, yeah, our group doesn't--we don't agree with any of that. We can't do anything about Wilbur, obviously, but we've already started working on repairing everything he's destroyed. I really want this to come to--a peaceful resolution, something where we can all be happy."

"The easiest way for you to do that," Clay points out, "is to denounce Tommy. Cut ties."

"Right. And that's--that's an option on the table, right, but it's a last resort. Tommy has--I mean, just recently, he lost his brother, he lashed out a little, you know, it wasn't good, but he's, he's sorry, I really do think he's already bettered a lot as a person, you know? So what I suggest is--we keep him under supervision, which I know would suck for you. We keep him under supervision and we negotiate some sort of, some sort of trade--maybe not the artifact, but maybe something else--and if Tommy so much as breathes in the wrong direction, we cut ties, and you do--whatever you think is best."

"Can I just say--"

"Let the adults speak, Tommy."

"Toby is literally younger than me."

"No I'm not! I'm actually not, as well! I was born 2005, you're 2006!"

"Well, okay, it doesn't really matter. You don't have to specify. It's a month or two."

"Okay."

"Can I--my criticism is that... Look at me, staying calm. Like a-- like a power moth. Like a moth with knives attached to it. I don't--what's a nice way to put this? This isn't--this isn't fair, this isn't right. Clay's going around threatening people and being a huge bitch just because he's, y'know, he's from Tampa--"

"TOMMY! Tommy, Tommy, please, it's going really well--"

"You know what? I actually kinda-- I'm even willing to compromise! Toby, I like your idea. If Tommy does anything in the next four years, if he calls anyone a mean name, breaks anything, steals anything, does anything that could be bad-- then you cut ties. But if he behaves perfectly well, if he's well-behaved, then I leave you alone and don't tell everyone what Tommy did. I'll be reasonable."

"Okay! Tommy, is that--"

There is no way he is going to succeed at that and they all know it. This is incredibly fucking stupid. "I've been up for so long, I'll agree to anything right now. I mean, Jesus Christ. --No, you know what actually, fuck this."

"Tommy, please, you just agreed."

"No, no, listen. Even on four hours of sleep, I am a mastermind among men, I am like the modern-day modern-day Magnus Carlsen! I’m like-- who else is clever?"

"...Albert Einstein? Sir Isaac Newton? I don't--"

"I'm like Newton, bitch! Apples and shit! Physics!"

"Tommy, you've got to stay calm now, please."

"No. No, you know what? I have a plan. I'm not-- you know I can't fucking do that shit! I'm not being crazy, I'm not, I'm not fucking Wilbur! I'm--this is the only thing I could think of that might, that might actually work. Look at me, Clay."

"Yes, Tommy?"

"This morning, you were going around fucking, threatening me, thinking you're the shit. And so I grabbed--a little something."

And out of his backpack he takes his knife as well as a threadbare stuffed horse, or at least what was once a stuffed horse; you can see where it used to have a mane and tail once, before they fell out, and it's missing patches of fur as well as one eye, and it's the sort of uniform grayish-brown that was almost definitely not its original color. "If you leave us be, no, if you apologize, I'll give it back. If not--" He waves the knife.

....Oh no.

He really, really hopes Tommy gets out of today alive. He's not sure he can hope for much else.

"Listen. You fucked up this time.

I don't give a fuck about Spirit. I don't give a fuck about anything, actually! If anyone who isn't from Tampa trades with you, if anyone so much as leaves you a seat in the cafeteria, I will make sure they regret it. If your study group does not fully condemn you, the same applies to all of them, plus I will make sure you will have nowhere to meet. If you keep trying to fight me I will kill you.

Don't try to threaten me."

Well, fuck. He had the one card.

"So if I stab Spirit, right now, if I rip out all her seams and shit--"

"DO IT! Destroy Spirit in front of me, right now!"

...He hands Spirit to Clay, wordlessly.

If it were just him and Tommy, maybe it would be different. But Niki and Jack don't have other friends, not close ones, and Alex has a chance at a spot in the Tampa alliance through Karl and Nick if he plays his cards right--

"Tommy, you had one job. And you messed it up. You stole from Tampa, again, when you were supposed to be making amends. You threatened Clay after we had decided on a resolution.

Clay, I am speaking on behalf of my study group when I say we want nothing to do with Tommy. I leave what to do with him up to you."

"...Toby?"

"This is how it has to be. You're a liability, Tommy. You need to leave."

"You're--you're my friend."

"Goodbye, Tommy." He hopes it won't be the last, but realistically, it probably will.

"You don't want to die, right, Tommy? You need to listen to me, now." Clay tugs his arm. "Come on, Tommy."

And Tommy goes.