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lest I wither in despair
taylor in wish
Permalink Mark Unread

As Taylor walks through the halls of her ordinary high school, a little animal sits in the middle of the corridor, ignored by everyone around her, and stares at her.

At first it looks stuffed - it's too plush, too symmetrical, isn't any real species - but then it cocks its head, and stands up, and trots over to her on four little feet.

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what.

People pointedly ignoring her isn't anything new, but ignoring an animal wandering the halls definitely is. What is that thing? Has she finally started to lose her mind, hallucinating cartoon animals? is this some new and strange torment concocted by the Trio, dressing up some wild animal and letting it lose in the halls so they can blame it on her later?

She steps around the creature, slouched over, continuing on her way towards a nearby bathroom for lunch. Whatever this is, step one is trying to ignore it and continue on with her life. The longer she's out in the halls the more likely someone is to notice where she's headed and tell one of the trio where to find her, so she's going to get somewhere private to eat her sandwiches now, and if the oddly cute animal follows her there she'll deal with it then.

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The oddly cute animal DOES follow her.

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As soon as she's through the door and into relative privacy she twists around and lowers a glower at the thing. "Ok, What the hell are you?" she mutters, half to it and half to herself while she examines it more carefully, definitely not the expecting an actual answer.

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My name is Kyubey.

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"you can talk??"

she paces back and forth a bit, "ok, sure, I guess this place is genuinely starting to drive me insane, honestly not even that surprised at this point, I'm hallucinating talking animals. didnt realize I was that lonely but sure!!"

I dont remember how you're supposed to handle hallucinations, are you meant to ignore them? tell them to go away, just play along? i do not need this right now, she thinks to herself.

"Kyubey, was it? why are you here?"

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I was looking for you. You have the potential to make a contract with me to become a magical girl.

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"....A magical girl. like from cartoons? now i know you're bullshit."

she takes the opportunity to step into one of the stalls in the back, sitting down on the back of the toilet to keep her feet hidden and pulling out a sandwich to start eating.

"so, i dont suppose you're one of those friendly hallucinations that just goes away if I ask you to, are you?"

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I can leave if you are not ready to make your wish. I will hear you if you think at me, if you change your mind.

It turns to leave.

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blinks.

Wish? she thinks to herself, wondering what that could mean. despite her better judgement, she feels a pang of regret as the creature starts to leave. fuck, am i really this starved for a half friendly conversation?

"wait, dont leave. what's this about a wish?" might as well humor the hallucination if she'll get some company for lunch out of it.

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"actually wait, before that, what was that about thinking at you?"

she tries to point her internal monologue at Kyubey and silently says 'can you hear what I'm thinking at you right now? can you always hear my thoughts?'

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Kyubey stops, and hops up on the edge of a sink where she can see it gazing at her through the crack between the stall and the divider. Magical girls are empowered by the hope behind their wishes. I can hear you if you are trying to speak to me, but not other times.

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ok, sure, I can telepathically chat with my imaginary friend, why not? well, im a lot less likely to be overheard talking to myself this way. and wishes powered by hope? who knew my subconscious was so cliche.

what did she even have hope for, these days? to escape this awful place? to push through all the torment, graduate, do something meaningful with her life and prove that she's actually capable without the Bitches Three sabotaging her every move?

'what are you getting out of this, then? I dont believe for a second you're just some benevolent miracle here to magically fix my life for nothing.'

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When a magical girl is granted a wish and is empowered she agrees to fight witches, monsters that hunt humans and spread violence and despair.

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'fighting human hunting monsters? sounds heroic.'

she very slightly grins internally, surprised a bit by how much that thought seems to appeal to her.

'when you say "witch", do you mean like, green woman in a pointy hat with broom, or something else?' she takes another bite of her sandwich.

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They are sometimes called other things. Monsters, nightmares. They have many different appearances.

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'gotcha' she thinks at the creature while chewing, 'got any examples for me?'

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I can show you one, if you wish.

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blinks

'sure, lay it on me'

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Now? Or after school?

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'oh, you meant in person, not some kind of telepathic image sharing.'

'...is that safe? didn't you say these things spread violence and despair?'

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You will not be affected by the witch's miasma. They can still be dangerous, but there are other magical girls, and one could accompany you.

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at the mention of other girls Taylor's suspicion immediately skyrockets. is this just another elaborate trick? somehow trying to talk her into following this creature into wherever they've laid their ambush? it doesnt make sense as an explanation but nothing about this situation is making much sense. god only knows what that have in store for her if they're trying to lure her off school grounds for it.

'how do i know the magical girl isn't lying to me? or that you're not just the minion of some witch trying to lure me to it as fresh prey?'

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I don't have a way to prove it to you besides showing you.

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Taylor sits and thinks for a while, taking a few more bites of her sandwich as she does.

'this magical girl who'd supposedly accompany me, could you go bring her here?'

it's not ideal, she thinks to herself, but then i can judge for myself if she's trustworthy. and if this thing is just my hallucination, it shouldn't be able to tell one of my bullies where I am.

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She says she's not a student here and doesn't think it would be a good idea for her to enter school grounds.

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oh, how convenient for you, she thinks to herself. one more tick towards the idea this is just a hallucination that can't actually talk to anyone else or some kind of prank.

she takes the last bite of her first sandwich and stares down the strange creature through the crack in the stall.

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You can talk to her by telepathy too, if you like.

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blinks.

'ok, sure, let's try that, why not add a second voice in my head?'

'...where do I aim?'

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Her name is Tanya.

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Taylor, feeling fairly silly and uncertain tries to aim her thoughts sort of out and loudly thinks 'Hello, Tanya? you there?'

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Hey! You must be the potential magical girl Kyubey was talking about?

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'so it claims, at least. I'm sure you can understand why I'm a bit skeptical'

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I guess so, I've been a magical girl so long I kind of forget how it sounds.

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'Well, from where I'm sitting, I'm pretty I've finally lost my mind and you and Kyubey both are just elaborate hallucinations' she freely admits. 'if you've got a nice and easy way to prove otherwise I'd love to hear it'

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Well, after school I can show you a witch, if you like? Or you could ditch, I'm not going to tell on you, but your call.

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'You're a magical girl, right? so that means you've got some sort of magical powers? If I come outside is there something you can demonstrate to me?'

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Sure. My specialty's speed, but I can levitate something since that's more obvious.

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Taylor thinks about waiting until the end of the school day, like she should, but as the next period draws closer, the thought of sticking around here is getting more and more miserable. When she overhears some students talking loudly as they pass the bathroom she flinches, half expecting that the trio found her, and ultimately that's what decides it for her. She shoves the final bite of her second sandwich into her mouth and shoulders her backpack.

'alright I'm on my way out, meet me by the dumpster in the alley on the northwest side of the grounds - did Kyubey tell you where my school is already?'

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Yep, I knew he was looking for a potential around here.

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'so what does it mean to be a potential magical girl?' she asks as she walks through the halls to the northern entrance 'why me and not somebody else?'

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Not everybody has magical... uh... potential, I'm not sure there's a technical term. Some people just can't wish for things strongly enough or something, and it's also only girls.

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'huh, weird. why is it only girls, do you know?' Taylor notices a crowd of people in the hallway ahead making some noise and detours around slightly to avoid them, almost at the door to the outside.

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No clue. I'm in the biiiiig maple tree across the street from your school, in the park.

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Taylor narrows her eyes, suspicious. The entire reason she named a specific location herself was to be sure it wasn't somewhere this girl could have preset some kind of ambush. She looks attentively at the park across the street as she steps out of the door and across the small lot toward the alley and dumpster. She'll watch the park carefully but she's not going over there until she's more sure what's actually going on.

'I cant see you yet but if you hop down and head over to the alley I mentioned I should be able to see you coming'

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On my way.

A girl wearing a long khaki coat drops down out of the tree and heads over. She waves at Taylor.

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...well, ok, she's real. or, at least she's yet another visual hallucination, this time with the complete and full detail of a living human being, rather than a strange cartoon-esque animal. Taylor is officially unsure what's going on. She tentatively waves back as she watches Tanya approach.

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"Hey! Any preferences what I float?" says Tanya, after checking nobody's around.

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"any weight limits?"

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"Uh, kind of? I only have so much magic. Heavy stuff is more expensive."

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She nods, and looks around.

"How about that pieces of loose gravel over there? could you toss it over to me?"

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"Sure."

A piece of gravel glows gold and zooms over into Taylor's hand.

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.........

 

 

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Ok. uh, well. that happened.

Taylor examines the rock and clearly feels its weight. In every way she can tell, it's a genuine piece of real gravel.

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"Ok yeah uh, that seems.. pretty conclusive of something, give me a minute to process this, I guess."

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"Sure, no rush."

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Taylor isn't an expert by far but she's pretty sure this is not at all how hallucinations are supposed to work. this is... too immersive, too real. But the idea that magic is real feels so impossible, why isn't it common knowledge? Why keep it a secret? She pauses in her musing for a moment to check one more thing.

"hey, can you levitate me for a moment?"

 

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Tanya makes a bit of a face. "Sure, but just for a sec." Up Taylor goes, down Taylor goes.

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...Ok yeah she absolutely felt that, this is feeling more and more like something real. Taylor slumps casually against the alley wall, shaky and uncertain about where to go from here.

"So... Magic is real, then? Huh. Why isn't it common knowledge? Why keep everything so secret?" she voices the concerns she thought of a moment ago.

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"Well, most people can't see Kyubey, or witches," says Tanya. "I think they'd make being a magical girl much more difficult and annoying if they knew what was going on, really."

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Taylor briefly considers all the teachers and students who've done more to get in her way than actually help her when they learned about the bullying. Her mood sours.

Something about that explanation still feels incomplete but she's not sure how to press for more.

"Fair enough," she says.

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"Witches do affect regular people," clarifies Tanya, kicking up one foot to rest it on the wall behind her. "But it makes them violent, or suicidal, things like that, it's not like they're werewolves or something ripping out people's throats themselves. It's really something when you kill one, though, it can be a slasher film when you go in the barrier and everybody's chilled out and started helping the paramedics when you're done. They don't really remember the details, but..."

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"In the barrier?"

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"Witches hide in little pocket dimension things. You have to wander around in them for a while, trying to find the middle that's the real witch, and kill that. Otherwise you can get distracted for ages fighting familiars."

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"huh, pocket dimensions... Just how big do these get on the inside? and how common are witches? have I been walking past some ever day on my way home from school without realizing it?"

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"I'm not sure they're a consistent size but it usually takes like, five, ten minutes to get to the middle? That's having to fight your way in, though, I bet if I could just walk it it'd be a minute. And - depends where you walk? They like dense busy areas."

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She nods.

"So, just a rough guess, how many are in this city right now?"

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"Full-on witches, ballpark five, but there's also ones that budded off and aren't grown up yet, more of those. They grow up when they kill enough people."

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"Ah, that already answers my next question, which was where witches come from in the first place."

She purses her lips uncertainly.

"Though, actually, how well do witches hide, that seems like a small enough number for extermination to be possible, or do witches tend to sneak in from other cities if you manage to clear out every one?"

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And then some of what else Tanya said finally seems to click into place and Taylor stiffens.


 "Wait, these things kill people, and we're just standing around talking? If you know where one is let's get moving, I'm not going to slow you down while someone might be getting hurt, I can ask you more questions once it's delt with."

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"- so, remember I said about magic not being unlimited? Fighting them is dangerous and it takes magic, and the only way you get more magic is by killing witches - grownup witches. I can kill a couple of those a week, but killing the baby ones trying to take out the whole lot of them costs magic and doesn't get me any back. I can keep pace with them, I don't see how I'd wipe them out, and some might move in from farther away if I did anyhow."