Spring is at the temple, right on schedule, doing various errands involving putting on a good face for the very first interactions of Perinixu with her new planet.

"Hello," says Prime. "Behold, I come bearing gifts."

"For me, or Perinixu?" Since this is where one would bring presents for Perinixu.

"... Yes? Both. I don't know, is there any change in if I put the magic portal necklaces onto the altar, or just hand them to you?"

"Well, in the one case, it's for me, and in the other case, it's for her. The magic portal necklace is probably for me. Gaming the system by giving acolytes useful things 'through' our deities is generally frowned on."

"Excellent, now I'll be able to be in more places at once." She collects them and then turns around and hands half of one set to the priest she has manning this site.

"You're welcome," he says, in a cheerful tone. "I'll be able to make more, or have more made, but mages need to recover mana."

"I understand."

"Good, if you didn't I'd have to try to explain it again more slowly, and there lies the path of sorrow and torment."

"It sounds tedious, certainly."

"Just a bit, yeah -"

"You're probably Zeviana."

"You get a prize. Congrats. Now! You!" She points at Prime. "You did this, didn't you!"

"I do lots of things. You're going to have to narrow it down..."

"Oh, fuck you, you know exactly what I'm talking about." She motions around them, to the temple. "This shit! This fucking shit! What the fuck is this?!"

"This is the new temple of Perinixu, and I did it, he just let me in."

"No, she dropped out of the sky randomly," drawls Prime.

"Okay, take your fucking smarmy attitude and shove it up your ass, you hypocrite, I don't believe you, you asshole!"

"He didn't - some friends of mine came to visit him and later introduced us," summarizes Aya. "That's all."

"Visit him. Visit him?! Why the hell would anyone visit him?!"

"They resurrected Veron," sighs Prime.

"Yes, we're both bastards, that is the thing that happens when we're born out of wedlock."

"Fuck. You! Fuck you!"

"...Do you want me party to this conversation? Either of you?"

"I don't give two fucks. Go wherever the hell you like."

"Do you want to know why I didn't immediately tell you?"

"Because your testicles never dropped and you're a manipulative, traitorous asshole?"

Prime sighs. "No, because the last time we spoke you were shouting at me. Sort of similar to another thing that I remember, hmm, the example escapes me. Something involving jumping straight to namecalling before I can even explain myself. I don't quite know, there are so many examples, it's hard to narrow it down to just one."

His sister makes a rude gesture. It's quite graphic.

"Yes, thank you for the commentary. How delightfully helpful."

"I try. Also, fuck you with a rusty, used spoon."

"Also! There are younger versions of us from other planes. Three sets."

"Oi! Hey, no, you can't do that, I want to meet them!"

"If you like, I can mirror my alternate selves and see if they care to invite you over. The other three of me are dating or married to the other three of him." Aya points at the retreating Prime. "Fair warning, one of you is a boy."

"You can ask them, if you like. Two sets are very happy together, the other is having a bit more trouble because of the circumstances of how they met. Also, the other instances of him - and for that matter of me; I'm older than I look - are considerably younger."

"So... Before he became an asshole. Okay, that makes more sense."

Prime isn't far enough away to have not heard that. He gives his sister a glare, but then walks out.

"Where do I go to meet my mini-me's?"

"Well, the current portal from here to my world is in this Adarin's house," says Aya. "But I can mirror any of my alts right now. Which do you want me to try to look for first - the one who's a teenager, the one who's a guy, or the one who's attached to an Adarin most nearly identical to this one minus several centuries and therefore your probable closest counterpart?"

"Mmm. Third one, closest counterpart."

"Hi, it's Spring. Prime's sister has turned up and wants to talk to you." Aya offers Prime's sister the mirror.

"Yeah! And no clothes, hope I wasn't interrupting?"

"Ada and I jumped ship to another, better plane. This one, there are hot witches with no nudity taboo."

"You lucky bitch! Can I visit?!"

"It's not a good idea to visit there unless you're planning to stay, or for some other reason want your soul to be shaped like an animal and live outside of your body."

"... Thaaaat's weird. Mini-me, what's that like?"

"Eeeeeeeh, pass. Want to meet me some place where I won't get a soul animal thingy?"

"Yes. Can I bring my girlfriend? Otherwise Lecasryn will get bored..."

"Pantheon has been serving as the unofficial interworld transit hub, and since this temple is operating here I can change New Kystle currency for something that will be good for a Pantheon hotel room, if you like. Perinixu should be able to approximate a good exchange rate based on coin offerings she's gotten."

"Sweet. Transit hub world sounds good - and yes, mini-me, you can bring company."

"Good. I'm gonna."

Aya consults with Perinixu, and then names a quantity of New Kystle currency that will suffice.

"Cool, I can do that."

"Among other things."

"How about you just return the mirror when you're done with it and come back here with your hotel fee and I'll show you back to Pantheon and get you some currency from there?"

"Sounds good! I hope you don't -"

"Not in my temple," says Perinixu, annoyed.

".... Okay. Sure. Voice in all languages person."

"That would be Perinixu."

"Hiiii, Perinixu."

"Hello," says Perinixu, subtly annoyed at being addressed so casually.

"I," says Zeviana, "am just going to take this mirror with me and return it when I come back. Be back - Mmm. Later. Let's go with later."

"Sure. Please don't keep it too long, I like to be able to call my alts."

Aya goes back to her fussing with temple minutiae.

"The 'thing'?"

"That's a no. Good, I'm glad, the thing sucked."

"Uh. What's the thing, how do I avoid it?"

"The thing's - I don't know how to explain it, it really wasn't just one giant thing of terrible that made me want to punch his face in. It was - lots of little terrible things that added up to the thing. That was terrible."

"Specific. Is everything up there still working, you old fossil? Did I break you?"

"Four, five-ish? I wasn't huge on keeping track."

"Oh, wow, lucky you. Yeah, then the thing barely even started by then. But - you know that thing he was doing where like - everything else was more important than him?"

"Yyyyyes? It was annoying, I told him to stop it. He did, but only after he met Isabella and they were all - lovey."

"Awww. Aww, that's cute, good for Isabella. But mine - never did."

"What, like - never?"

"Nope. And also, he did this thing where - if I wasn't helping him, then I didn't matter as much as the thing he was doing."

"I know, right? So - watch out, I guess. Even though it probably won't be a problem, because you ditched New Kystle early."

"Yeah. Shit was unhealthy for him. I said from the start, ditch the bastards, but noooo..."

"Ugh, yes, I mean obviously he hated everything about being there! And mine just - stayed! Because he is still all -" She waves her hand expressively, and deepends her voice to try to sound more male. "- 'I want to change the world and, it has to be this exact way! Nevermind that I am miserable!'"

"Our brothers. So smart..."

"... But so fucking stupid!"

"Ugh. I'm kind of glad mine's got Isabella, now. I mean, I already was because she's pretty cool, and like - my brother's hopelessly in love and it's fucking concentrated adorable, but the - getting him out of that - whatever the hell that is - is nice."

"Yeah. Do. Congrats, mini-me. You still have your brother."

"Pretty sure that won't help, but thanks for the offer."

"I could drag mine to talk to yours?"

"If you want? I mean, I'm used to this shit by now, it's just depressing as fuck."

"I bet. I'll try to help, that's bullshit. We're - there's - we're a fucking team, my brother and I, and you and yours. It is bullshit, that that happened, and I want it to stop."

"Aww. Mini-me, you're adorable."

"Damn fucking straight I am. C'mere."

And then her alt is very thoroughly distracted from depressing talk of neglectful brothers!

Ice is home. She opens the door, but she's on the phone, and holds up a finger in a wait gesture. Path hops off her shoulder and looks for Lecasryn; Path is not on the phone.

"We noticed," says Path dryly, "that he isn't as good as our version. What are you going to do exactly?"

"We're sort of making it up as we go along, but we need him to help."

"Well, he's in the kitchen, making soup."

"Yup. I need to borrow you."

"Because it turns out that if he was left to his own devices he stops caring about his own happiness and gets super utilitarian about everything. Also, you're super adorable," says Lecasryn.

"... I'm really hoping that the reason you need to borrow me has nothing to do with why you were gone for three days?"

"Don't be stupid, the fossil's me, she's not into men. Also you're married, and that actually matters to you, so. No, I need you to talk to your jackass alt. The old one."

"Okay? I can, why do you want me to?"

"Because he's being an ass to old-me and he needs to stop it right this instant."

"What's he doing?" asks Path.

"It's - not one huge terrible thing. It's like a lot of little terrible things that have added up and pissed her off. Acting like she doesn't matter to him, for one. That shit hurts."

"Prime is wrapped up in a layer of sarcasm a mile thick. I'm not sure it's possible to tell him off effectively," Path says.

"Um. Maybe?"

"I suppose he has the advantage of Prime owing him big time."

"I didn't even think of that, that'll probably help, too."

"... Can I finish making soup before picking a fight with Prime?" asks Cypress plaintively.

"Yeah, go for it. But I do need to borrow you. Soonish."

"For how long?" asks Path.

"I have no idea. Not more than a day, I guess?"

"Please do not keep him longer than that. We would miss him."

"You can come, too," shrugs Lecasryn. "If you want."

"Maybe we will."

"Sure, go for it. We don't care if other people come, but we know for sure that we need Adarin."

"I feel special."

"That's because you are," says Zeviana, with a shrug. "Congrats."

"My Isabella will try to get off the phone before the soup is done."

Eventually, when soup is made and Isabella has gotten off the phone with the lawyer, everyone is ready to go!

Oh, good. Off they go, to find Prime.

"You need," says Zeviana, "to stop being a jackass."

Cypress's palm, meet his face.

"Oh, is that all?" drawls Prime. "Well by all means, I'll start tomorrow. How not to be a jackass, in six easy steps."

"Warned you," mutters Path from Isabella's shoulder.

"Yes you did," sighs Lecasryn.

"Um," says Cypress. "Can we - talk?"

"I don't know, I was planning on all of us yodeling at each other. In lieu of actual conversation."

"Oh my god how the hell did my alt put up with you for five hundred years?!"

"Easy. She didn't."

Ice sighs.

"... You're fucking with me, right? You cannot seriously be this dense. Ada, if you ever become this dense I don't care that you are a delicate snowflake, I am hitting you."

"How incredibly heartfelt."

"No, you fucking moron, because it's not - she's not - aaaaugh this is so frustrating, do you not even get that she'd forgive you in an instant if you apologized?! Because you're her brother!"

That one - actually stuns Prime into silence.

"And I don't think you get how important that is! Not because of - stupid bloodline relations shit, but because you are her twin! Because she wants you to be happy the same way I want Ada to be happy, and you kept putting yourself in a situation where you weren't! And would never be! Then you acted like because she disagreed with you, obviously she doesn't care about you, so you don't have to care about her!"

More silence.

"... Is any of this getting its way into your skull? Should I draw you a fucking map? Maybe add some helpful colored lights?!"

Ice is not clear on why Cypress was necessary for this expedition at all. She puts her head on his shoulder simply because it is there.

Cypress isn't really clear on why he was necessary, either. But apparently he was! So here he is. Totally fine with being a headrest.

"None are necessary, thank you," sighs Prime.

"How, exactly, is not wanting to be yelled at all the time, for not wanting to apologize for my own life choices 'being a jackass'?"

"Charming."

"I no longer understand why she wanted Cypress along."

"I have absolutely no idea, either. Er. Moral support?"

"Exciting. I'm assuming you're standing by with candy and blankets."

"I do actually have candy in my bag. But no blankets."

"Ah, a pity."

"Let me know if you need the candy."

"... Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Do you - er, want to talk about your side of the story...?"

"No."

Eyebrow raise. "Okay then."

"Should you possibly do so anyway?"

"I don't know," says Prime almost whimsically. "Should I? Is there any goal reached by telling you about my family life?"

"Off-chance it will prevent others from having theirs go the same way by one or another circuitous route? Allowing us outside parties to do more than sort of sit here wondering why we were invited along?"

"I'm not sure what there is to tell, then. I became tired of being yelled at, and treated like I'm not allowed to make choices in my own life."

"How was she doing the second thing?"

"By - being so obviously upset with me, and wanting me to give up and do something else."

"And you did not give up and do something else, and then...?"

"I got frustrated with her being upset with me. And her - meddling, she had this annoying habit of completely ruining any of my plans that she came in contact with."

"Eugh," says Ice.

"By accident, or...?"

"Accident, I'd say. Though occasionally she did it on purpose, if she didn't like the people I was working with at the time."

"Well, that sounds thoroughly unpleasant."

"It was."

And that is when one Zeviana returns.

With her older alt in tow.

"Hello," sighs Prime.

"Adarin."

(Cypress twitches.)

"Make friends," says - the younger Zeviana, motioning to her alt and Prime.

"When there is more than one Adarin in the room yours is Prime," Ice tells elder-Zeviana, hugging Cypress's arm. "For reference."

Prime grits his teeth, but does not comment.

"So! Are you going to apologize?"

"For what, can I ask?"

"He," she says, pointing at Prime, "has not been treating me like his sister. It's like I'm just - some stranger that he knows that happens to annoy him."

"Accurate," mutters Prime.

"Asshole."

Ice decides to leave aside the oxymoron that is "stranger that he knows". "What would constitute treating you like his sister who happens to annoy him, instead?" she inquires.

"Not being all -" She makes a vague sort of motion that sort of points to all of him. "Closed off and unwilling to spend any amount of time in the same room as me."

"Imagine that. Not wanting to be yelled at. Insanity, surely."

"That is not helping," sighs Cypress.

"Also, Adarin who is not the mini version, go fuck yourself with a cactus."

"Aaaaand neither is that."

"Case in point."

"Hey, jackass, she's got legitimate grievances, why don't you listen to them for a change?"

"I think," sighs Cypress, "I am starting to see why I'm supposed to be here."

"Yeah, let's - everybody not swear at each other, for a start," sighs Ice. "Zeviana-the-elder, you're the one with a clear goal in this interaction, maybe contemplate before you take actions whether they will help you accomplish your goal as opposed to doing other things entirely? It's clear the mere fact that you and Prime are twins will not have him willingly taking tea with you every Thursday out of duty, so you're going to need to come up with something else, such as not being unpleasant to exist near."

Prime very dearly wants to correct this false assumption.

"Well what am I supposed to do, mini-Adarin?"

".... Not that? For a start?"

"I mean, presumably before you had this falling-out you and he did things together that did not involve screaming insults at each other."

"Sure, we did, but now he won't let me in so we can do things together."

"You were unhelpful to everything I wanted to do. Plus, yelling."

"Okay, here's a question. Since I'm not allowed to use curse words. When was the last time you went out to do something, just to have fun?"

"Yeah. That. That right there. That is what pisses me off."

"And yelling at him is obviously going to cause him to have lots of fun," mutters Ice under her breath.

"Well what else am I supposed to do? Send him pretty letters asking him nicely to please go back to being my brother again?"

"No," sighs Cypress, "but yelling at him isn't going to help, I think. It'll only make him defensive."

"Well, good, because he needs to explain himself, because he is not making sense and hasn't for ages."

"Okay, sure."

"What exactly is it you want explained?"

"All of the - stuff. Just - all of it. Why, are you so insistent on being miserable? Why the fuck do you do that?"

"Far be it for me to have priorities besides rampant hedonism."

"That's not my - look. Do you know how to have fun anymore?"

"It is entirely possible."

"You're not really helping," Ice points out to Prime. "If you're fundamentally opposed to the entire premise of this conversation it would probably be more efficient to kick her out of your house, and if you aren't, maybe reach for whatever your second resort after sarcasm is and see how that goes."

"Mm," says Prime.

"... That means he isn't opposed to the conversation but does not want to let the wall of sarcasm down," translates Cypress. He's pretty sure the Zevianas caught that, but he knows his wife didn't.

"See? Frustrating!"

"I think I'm glad I'm an only child," mutters Ice.

Cypress pats his wife's hand.

"No," answers Cypress, peering at him. "He's not. I dare say that it's the only reason we haven't been politely kicked out yet."

"So since everyone in this room would consider it an improvement if Prime were happy," says Ice (with a dubious look at the elder Zeviana, who as far as she can tell has not advanced this goal in any way) "the next question is how we go about making that happen, I imagine. I'm tempted to say I should go convince Spring to hit on him."

"Feel free to tell me this wouldn't help, but I am pretty sure my Adarin is happy..."

"Wonderfully, delightfully happy," agrees Cypress, ecstatic. "Honestly, if he and Spring were to -"

"Let's not touch the topic of me apparently needing to find love to be happy. Honestly I find the concept that I require love to be happy somewhat insulting."

"All right, it's entirely possible I couldn't talk her into it given that she doesn't seem to have tried it on her own, anyway. So there must be some Spring-irrespective way to manage the trick, mustn't there? What is it?"

Prime shrugs. "Apparently, I need hobbies."

"Why not."

"Okay. Puzzles are fun - not just the picture ones, but logic puzzles and such. You probably don't have Sudoku, but I'm particularly fond of that one. I'll grab a book of it for you, if you'd like. Reading's fun, depending on the author - I can recommend a few of Chamomile's, but I'm not sure how useful that would be. Watching television or movies is a delightful novelty, though I find that movies are best with company. Fishing is surprisingly soothing, I couldn't tell you why. I wouldn't do it all the time, or even every week, but every now and then is nice."

"Riveting. I can - give that all a shot."

"I can get you a computer and some movies to play on it," says Ice. "Phix and Max could get you movies, too, if you want them without everybody having daemons. I'm not sure how you ought to handle the company part, although Spring might be interested in the movies in their own right."

"I'll ask. All parties involved, please don't try to play matchmaker or - something," sighs Prime. "It wouldn't work and would only annoy me." He looks at his sister. "And no yelling."

His Zeviana crosses her arms. "Fine. Stop treating me like a stranger, though."

"Why is it that no matter what I do, I'm the bad guy? Behold, how I'm trying to be reasonable!"

"I will not trouble Spring with the idea," says Ice. "At least for the foreseeable future."

"Thank you," he says, sincerely.

"I will thank you very much for not finishing that sentence. No matchmaking. None."

"Are you still being pissy about Lorina?"

Zeviana gets a glare, but otherwise Prime does not dignify that with an answer.

"Well-"

"Tsst!" interrupts Prime. "Not a word. Not a word."

"Okay, cranky pants."

Cypress raises an eyebrow.

"What about Rossier? Can I talk about him?"

"Fine, since you're so insistent, you can talk about Rossier, I liked him."

"Eeeeee!" Pause. "Okay now I really don't know what to say, though. It's not like you and he got all dramatic like you and Lorina did -"

"Okay, thank you, your talking privileges are revoked now."

"Shocking, isn't it. But yes."

Mini-Zeviana giggles.

"Really?" says Cypress, surprised.

"What happened with them?"

"That," says Prime whimsically, "was the face I made when I found out."

"After a decade she - wow."

"Yup. There were other problems with the relationship before that point, she was especially bothered by my constant sarcasm, but that was definitely the tipping point."

"And he's still bitter about it."

"How long ago was it?"

"Hmmmm," says Prime, musingly. "About a century, I'd say. She died of old age, I've tried very hard not to be smug about that fact."

"Why would you be smug about her dying of anything whatever?"

"Oh, the entire thing was brought about by her getting upset because she aged and I did not."

"Her biological clock was ticking."

"Well then."

"No matchmaking."

"I can personally guarantee that Spring isn't going to age anymore," remarks Ice, but quietly.

"Thank you. For this information."

"You're welcome. Speaking of which I should probably immortalize you at some point too."

"That would be delightful. But - I would please like to keep looking the same, it would be awkward to have to require people to get used to..." He motions to Cypress. "Me looking like I'm twenty again. Their first thought will be that I have a secret bastard son."

"Okay. I'll see about tweaking the spell for that, it might take a while, it's not going to be my all-consuming project for the next week or anything since you don't seem about to keel over."

"You're correct, I'm not. I'd estimate that I've got another century or so left in me."

"Huh. Well, that's - not really useful to me anymore, but it's nice to know I would have made it to the upper end of the estimation scale."

"I'll live longer," says Zeviana smugly. "If no immortality's applied. Which, by the way, can I have some?"

"Yes. Do you want his version or do you want to look like her forever?" Ice points at the younger Zev.

"Hmmmm..."

"True," muses older-Zeviana. "And my girlfriends would be weirded out if I were suddenly tons younger. And it's not like I've got any real wrinkles yet."

"Prime's version it is. I'll let you know when I have it made and alethiometer-confirmed."

"Thank you."

"Same, thanks!"

"Scoooore, I get to keep the MILF alt, awesome!"

Cypress is trying very hard not to think about his sister having sex with her - alt. Ick.

Ice pats her husband on the arm soothingly.

"No!"

"No!"

"I'm married," adds Cypress, plaintively.

"And as much fun as it would be to take the statement of 'go fuck myself' literally, no thank you," agrees Prime.

The Zevianas -

- crack up laughing.

Ice snorts.

"Never speak of this again?" He's addressing Cypress.

"Nope. Love, have I mentioned I love you? I love you."

"You have mentioned it, but it's always nice to hear."

Cypress grins, and kisses her forehead.

"Awwwww, mini married Adarin."

"Adorable, aren't they?"

"So cute!"

"Well, that's refreshing compared to being told off for 'flaunting'."

"Awww, why would anyone care that you were cute in public with each other?"

"There's a pair of both of them in another plane that have an 'it's complicated' relationship."

"Oh. I guess that makes sense. Whatever, though, you guys are cute, keep flaunting."

"That's easy. We have never been able to stop, really." Snuggle.

"Awwwww. Awwww! So cute."

Preen preen!

Preen preen preen!

"Careful," drawls Prime. "I might expire of an overdose of cute on the spot."

"And then I'd have to resurrect you, and if there was any hurry about it you'd look twenty again, the horror."

"I wouldn't be able to cope."

"Your hard-earned grey hairs. Gone."

"No one would believe me when I said I was five hundred years old! I'd have to stop making jokes about it."

"The terror."

"People believe witches when we say we're five hundred. Everyone would just have to get used to it."

"Too much work. I'm old and lazy."

"So don't die before I have the spell developed, I guess. Do you want movies from Chamomile or would you rather get them from Medallion without daemons?"

"Hmm. Medallion, I might take a few from Chamomile out of curiosity, though."

"What are movies without daemons like?" muses Cypress. "I don't even know how you'd get rid of them, they seem so integral to - how the stories are told."

"You have gone so native. We can get Phix and Max to bring us movies too, if you want, I'm curious too now you mention it."

"I have gone so very native," he laughs. "Are you complaining? Should I try to return to my roots, reclaim my lost culture?"

"Nooooo," giggles Ice, hugging him while Path wraps his wings around Vern likewise.

"So cute."