"I mean, that's more or less the definition of a pervert, isn't it? Fine upstanding citizens such as ourselves never find our minds in the gutter."

"Of course, of course." She reaches out to run a finger along Wilhelmina's chest. "And so if they choose to see something dirty in my portrait of David and Jonathan that's their own business."

"It's a Biblical painting! Can't get any more upright than that."

"A woman after my own heart."

"I merely picked up good taste spending time around you."

"Quite, quite. We did get you out of those nasty old clothes."

(Ruby is not exactly oblivious to the fact that Wilhelmina was in nasty old clothes not because of bad taste but because she couldn't afford better ones, but she dislikes bringing up such distasteful subjects.)

"Trousers are far too overrated."

"Quite. Nothing but skirts for me. --Speaking of, are you going to Lady Malcolm's this year?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world! --unless some poor fool decided to put on Hamlet on the same night, but luckily this year we've managed to avoid that idiocy."

"Oh, there'll always be another Hamlet. No one can shut up about the man."

"You'd think everyone would get bored being trapped in the orbit of a flip-flopping madman, yet here English theatre is."

"So you could miss it for the ball. Now, a Noel Coward opening night--"

"I'm afraid not even Lady Malcolm could not compete with that."

"Of course he'd never schedule his opening night opposite Lady Malcolm's so we'll never be faced with such an appalling dilemma."

"We've been saved by General Good Sense."

"Oh, what army is he enlisted in?"

"He probably works for your brother, seeing as half the army in London does, apparently."

Ruby sucks her teeth. "Do you think I'll be able to find him at the docks? I do so love trade."

"If not Hyde Park. Though with a name like that, one wonders if he appreciates the finer things in life."

"Oh, I've corrupted enough of the fine flower of British youth. I had such a lovely time during the Great War. So many fine soldier-boys--!"

"British youth are just too much fun to corrupt. It's hard to resist."

"I'm sure you've corrupted plenty with the homosexuality and the opium and the"-- she gestures vaguely-- "ancestor worship."

"I am a fine upstanding citizen, who has neither corrupted nor been corrupted in my entire life--" (His tongue is firmly in his cheek.)

"Oh, really?" She reaches for her fan on the nightstand table and flutters it innocently. "I was a good Christian girl before I met you, you know. Went to church every week."

"And proceeded to be bored out of your mind every time?"

"Of course not! I had a special devotion to St. Sebastian."

"Ah, yes, that would be rather compelling."

She closes the fan and raps him lightly with it. "And now you've corrupted me, stolen my innocence, my purity, my virginity-- now I'll have to be a fallen woman-- give birth to our child in a home for unwed mothers because I know you won't do right by me--"

"That's the danger of messing with people from the under world. You should have seen this coming."

"But you were so glamorous and forbidden."

"Well how else would I catch pretty little things like you otherwise?"

"Well. I didn't exactly run very hard."

"And look where that's got you!"

"Impregnated, apparently."

"Impregnated, out of wedlock, by a dashing rogue..."

"Mm. Keep talking like that and I'll be ready to go again."

"Oh, but I don't know, it's tempting, but I wouldn't want to get in trouble."

She raps him again. "I'd get in trouble, that's exactly what we've been talking about."

"And why would I care about that?" he says very sweetly.

"Brat."

"You know it."

"I'd hit you with a cane but you're from the barbaric East and don't enjoy the British vice."

"Alas, I have not yet been made that Civilised."

She kisses her. "I'm thinking of doing a new series."

"Ooh, what of?"

"My dreams."

"So, presumably less edifying Biblical art."

'Well, I'm not going to stop exploring the classical nude."

"Dreams make better nudes anyway.'

She turned more serious. "I keep getting such beautiful imagery in my dreams...  the city in the valley, and the sea-coast beyond, and the snowy peak overlooking the sea, and the gaily painted galleys that sail out of the harbour toward the distant regions where the sea meets the sky..."

"I haven't had the chance to see those yet. They sound beautiful."

She frowned. "I don't know how to capture them in paint."

"At least you're a painter. If someone else wrote the words, I could probably play that part, but describing them myself? I wouldn't know where to start."

"You could model for me."

"I'm always willing to help in the service of art."

"Just try to embody your dreams and we'll see what happens."

"Could be fun."(He says it flirtatiously, though what he dreams isn't all that sexual. He's spent a fair time in palace on a river. The river winds in infinite oxbows, the balconies and courtyards of the palace loop in on themselves and the river in a fractal cascade of opalescent rainbow columns.)

Fan rap. "Your dreams must be sexier than mine."

"There's plenty of people without a lot of clothes on."(This is... sort of true.)

"Lovely. All I have is the architecture."

"The architecture certainly has it's charms though."

"It really does," she says wistfully.

"--Even if it's very easy to get lost in."

"It is for you? I feel like I never get lost in mine."

"Lucky! I ended up spending a whole night going in circles."

"Make a map, they'll all be in the same place tomorrow night."

"...That's actually a good idea."

"Are you a girl in yours?"

"That's... a good question."

Wistful: "I bet you look lovely."

"If I look this good in life, how could I look any worse in my dreams?"

"Right? Everyone is more beautiful in their dreams, I think."

"It's very convenient."

"I'm a eunuch in mine."

"I'm assuming that's a good thing?" (In his dreams he's androgynous, and presumably has... body parts, but he has never really thought to check?)

"Haven't you always wanted to be the glamorous favorite eunuch of the emperor? Wear silks and swan around and write poetry and perform exquisitely beautiful etiquette?"

"I wouldn't say it was unappealing, but there are certain things eunuchs do miss out on."

"Common myth, actually, eunuchs can orgasm."

"...huh. Point retracted, then."

"The only issue is with children, which I view as more of an advantage, don't you darling." She wrinkles her nose.

"Someone, somewhere, has to continue the species, unfortunately."

"My dreadful brother and his horrid children can do it."

"If someone's got to do A Duty, may as well be people like him who like it."