He is definitely one of the more sensible members of the enclave, though he is deliberately approaching Jing Yi of people so it's probably a wash.

"Hi."

"Can we talk somewhere without eavesdroppers?"

"I would be fine with that, but I'm not sure your cousin would approve."

He rolls his eyes. "I don't want to fuck. It was embarrassing for me too."

"If you can convince Jin Zixun of that, I am more than willing to talk."

"I talked to him," he lies.

Okay, so it's kind of obvious he hasn't, but if he is going to be the one explaining it anyway, Jing Yi does not care. "My room or yours?"

"Maybe the French part of the library?" He's pretty sure the French/Mandarin overlap is zero.

"That also works."

There are going to be some potentially very confused French people ("Why have the Sinosphere enclavers decided to... learn French? Have an argument near French?") , but whatever.

They head over to French. "I have, um, a problem," Jin Zixuan says, not really meeting Jing Yi's eyes.

"...what sort of problem?"

"I have, um, a crush on-- a person-- and I don't know if they like me--"

"Do they spend time around you of their own accord? --actually, if you just tell me who it is, I could give you a good guess if they do like you."

His eyes widen. "I can't tell you that!"

"It's a deep secret you plan to take to your grave?"

"...something like that."

"--So even if they did like you, you would never say anything to them, thus rendering whether they liked you moot?"

"Uh. Maybe?"

"...what advice are you looking for?"

"I want them to like me! How do you get someone to have a crush on you back? You must know this, you sleep with enough people."

...

"You see, normally I would suggest 'talking to them' and 'being yourself,' but your many charms are covered by the fact you can't be trusted with your own mouth unless something is in it."

"I have charms?"

"Despite evidence to the contrary, I do have standards."

"Pulse, respiration, penis..."

"--Well I was going to say 'being a nice person but having terminal foot in mouth syndrome,' but you did just demonstrate that nicely."

"Oh. Right. --I think I keep insulting them."

"...That would not help, no."

"And so now they think I hate them and probably they hate me too and there is no solution other than going with this to my grave and writing a lot of earnest and probably very accidentally insulting poetry."

"How to fix this will depend on who exactly you have been accidentally insulting."
 

"I don't want to say!!!"

Okay, so this is going to require some creativity. "On a scale from Jin Zixun to Jiang Yanli, how easily offended are they?"

... ... ... ... 

"Yanli," he says, completely truthfully.

"Honestly you're going to get a fair way with a genuine apology. ... That doesn't insult them again. Assuming they are as terminally nice as Yanli, of course."

"...have I ever in my life given someone an apology without insulting them?"

"... This is true. So the thing is, you want to be honest but vague. Don't repeat the thing you initially said. Explaining why you did something is an advanced move I'm only allowing you to use once you've gone a month without accidentally insulting someone. Also: puppydog eyes. Those are good."

Jin Zixuan attempts to make puppydog eyes and winds up looking moderately contemptuous.

Oh nooo. "So apparently you can only do puppydog eyes accidentally. Noted."

"I did them accidentally?"

"I have seen you do them. I thought it was deliberate, but apparently not."

"No! I don't know how to do puppy dog eyes! --So I should say I'm sorry but not say anything else?"

"Say you're sorry for insulting them, and maybe compliment them... But maybe. Uh. Run the compliments by me first."

"But if I do that you might know who they are!"

"And if you don't tell me what you want to say you might horrifically insult them in the process of trying to apologise to them."

"Um. They're really good at, uh, sewing. And, um, incantations. And they're always kind to everyone. And they have a nice smile."

...Uh huh.

"So telling people they're kind is a good start, and saying they have a nice smile is maybe showing your hand a bit but isn't a bad idea either."

"Okay. I can do that. --Should I like. Show them that I'm a good person to date somehow?"

"... How do you plan to do that?"

"I don't know!! What do people want in a boyfriend."

"It depends on the person? They usually want someone they like spending time with, but some people are interested in a protector?"

"Oh. I think probably my person is interested in a protector?"

... This is sounding a little like Nie Huaisang, and if it is he is giving himself permission to laugh about that. "So you'll want to try and appear competent around them, while not looking like you think they are incompetent."

"I... can look competent?"

"I believe in you."

"I don't know how to not insult people!!!"

"I think you can manage 'competent' though."

"Right. But I'm pretty sure I'm going to imply they're incompetent while I'm doing it. Because they are."

...it's definitely Nie Huaisang. "...well, first step, don't say that to them."

"Okay, but it seems kind of weird not to acknowledge it when we both know I'm better at magic than they are."

"Presumably they are better than sewing than you? And you like wearing clothes that aren't mostly hole?"

"They could tell me I'm incompetent at sewing! I wouldn't mind."

"Which is very nice of you, but seeing as I don't know who you are crushing on, I can't assume they would be as fine with it? --This would be a whole lot easier if I could tailor the advice more."

"Okay, I should-- lie and pretend they're not incompetent at magic?"

"...If you were someone else, I would suggest that, but I don't think you could lie without it being really obvious, so I'm going to suggest you just... ignore it."

"Okay. I should give them compliments and protect them and ignore them being incompetent."

"...Yes. Yes you should." He is going to get this wrong somehow, but there's only so much you can fix someone's awkwardness in one conversation.

"...do you have any other advice? Maybe I should give them a gift."

"Gifts are good! ... Do you know what they like?"

"... ... Um."

"... That would be a flaw in that plan."

"How do I find out what they like?"

"I'd suggest observation, in your case. You can also subtly ask them what they'd like-- but that would be an advanced move for you."

"Okay. Observation. I can do that."

"...Don't stare at them."

"Observe them... out of the corner of my eye?"

"Observe them by being in the same general places they are. This is going to be easier if they're in Shanghai or one of your classes, but you-- we can figure something out if not."

"Okay. I think I can do that. Thank you for your help!"