If it's just the hezrou, the fort can maybe handle it with some casualties but no serious operational consequences, but hezrous are only mostly solitary and you can't rely on demons doing what they mostly do. The commander gives the order to read off a Sending scroll calling for a strike team before he heads out to be ready to meet the thing in battle.
Stef isn't at the garrison today, which is fine with Venn, both because she finds Stef a little annoying (because he will not stop singing about his hot boyfriend) and because it means she's first in line for deployment when the call goes out.
She's a biiit less excited about going to help one of the Chelish forts (especially since the Four Day War - they've been called to several Chelish forts in the aftermath, and some of them been distressingly unprofessional, though not the point of Venn reporting a treaty violation), but Rowen reassures her that fort #11 is actually really well-run, Chelish or not.
Song-sorceresses have an easy time preparing. She slides into her chain shirt, straps on her singing steel buckler, helps Marit finish putting on his fancy paladin full plate, and then they're ready to go; her, Rowen, Marit, and the (admittedly kinda hot) ranger who's too cool for names and calls herself Demonscourge.
They appear to find the forces of #11 already locked in battle with the hezrou, a platoon of melee warriors hedging in its movement with spears and maces and swords while the archers harry it from the fortress parapets. When the teleporters emerge from the designated teleport arrival room and get a quick Fiendish Presence check from the wizard awaiting their arrival, they're ushered right out the front gate just in time to watch one of the Asmodeans land a Channel Smite on the demon.
Rowen assesses the scene.
"Going to pop us right in there. Prep for Dimension Door in fiv-"
Venn casts Invisibility, "three, two", slaps her buckler and harmonizes with it, starting up her inspiring song, "one", and takes Rowen's hand, "mark!"
And suddenly every soldier fighting the hezrou in melee is feeling braver, more sure of themselves, and much deadlier.
Marit smites evil and charges. Demonscourge starts unloading arrows.
The thing about strike teams is that if they are good at their jobs, which they generally are, they end things so quickly upon arrival that it feels silly to have called them, but there's no shortage of casualties on the ground belying the idea. Hezrous don't even flinch at cold iron; the holy attacks and smites are the only things doing much.
Once the hezrou is down the commander directs those of his soldiers who are still up to check for pulses on those who are down, and follows the calls to stabilize people who need it.
The song-sorceress switches to a far less commonly-heard tune, and suddenly everyone in range to hear it begins to notice their wounds stitching up.
(It's not efficient to keep this going for long, not when they don't know if they'll be attacked again. But it's much faster than running around trying to stabilize everyone.)
Demonscourge is their expert here and has several requests (at least one of which might be for trophy purposes, but she sure isn't clarifying.)
Venn stops singing once it's clear who will and who won't get up on their own and looks around. Rowen is hanging around near the fort commander, waiting to debrief. Marit is keeping his distance from everyone at the fort, which Venn definitely understands, but - it feels a bit cruel right now.
She heads over to where Rowen and the fort commander are.
Good. The strike team and Commander Artigas (it says ARTIGAS on his coat) can all migrate indoors while the rank and file bury the dead and burn whatever parts of the demon are not exciting. "Do you accept Chelish notes to exchange with the Abadarans, or shall I dig into the coinage supply?"
Rowen hands over the scroll and pockets the money. "Do you need anything else, Chosen?"
If not, he'll send Urdina to grab Marit and then they can get to a private room before Demonscourge starts insulting people (He kind of hates bringing her to Chelish forts, but if there had been two hezrous they would have badly needed her. So it goes.)
The place looks a bit harried at the moment, people updating each other with lists of names of who died, the hall looking sparser than it probably usually is.
"If you could spare a channel, I believe the song helped considerably but any demon that got a look at that fight or even just the blood on the snow will be expecting us to be on the back foot, and at present they'd be right."
He has ever managed a channel before, apparently, and knows how far out thirty feet is and how closely people can huddle in around her before some of them are occluded from the line of effect. Eventually he is satisfied with the layout and gestures encouragingly at her from the edge of the circle. He took some damage in the fight but has not been letting it slow him down.
"If you need to cycle a new set of people through, make a signal and I'll stop. I can do this for about two minutes."
She takes out a beautiful-looking lyre and plays a backing tune for her singing. She doesn't need to, for the magic, but it makes the song sound better, harmonizing with herself.
She's excellent with both song and string, of course, and as before, the wounds of those in range slowly but surely start to heal up.
The room is unoccupied except for their party. It has beds big enough for two-if-they're-friendly-and-it's-cold, bunked, enough that the room could sleep sixteen if it had to. An un-uniformed woman is dropping off blankets and ducks her head to Venn as she arrives. The party is presumably entitled to rations in the mess hall, which is in between everything else and easy to find again as soon as they're hungry.
She shakes her head. "No, sir. Their commander organized everything."
She slips off her backpack, putting it down next to one of the unclaimed beds. "I'm going to go hang out in their dining hall for a while, if you don't need anything."
She's curious why #11 seems to be doing so much better than the other Chelish forts she's been deployed to in the weeks since the four day war, and a dining hall is the right place to investigate.
People there are eating stew, playing cards, chatting. Blue hair attracts attention, though she's not the only person with a little color (there's a wizard who's got a streak of white in his, and one of the whores is sitting with a different wizard who's ?flirting? by putting interesting colors on her arm). There are, of course, Asmodean clerics; their motion through the room prompts little ripples of attention but not alarm.
"So I said, yeah, I think I can figure out making ox parchment, it'll be kind of shit, you want a goat or at least a calf for the good kind you write spells on, but for letters it'd do maybe. So I'm on that now, apparently, till the supply is back to normal, Prestidigitating the fur off the damn hides and trying to rig up a stretching frame."
"You'd think the one thing the government'd agree with the last one about is the fucking Worldwound."
"You'd think! But I'd take this over fucking patrols or I wouldn't've let on that my folks made parchment."
--
"You ever heard of a singing healer?"
"Yeah, sure, is that not how how they usually do it?"
"Fucked if I know."
--
"Trade you the sequel for your bird book."
"Fuck you, Inky loves the bird book."
"Then I guess you'll never find out what happens to Lady Blanca, will you..."
"Chicken and dumplings."
"Peach cake."
"Idiot, it's still going to be shaped like rice and beef, haven't you ever gotten Txell or somebody to do this one for you?"
"I don't fucking care, it's been so long since I had peach cake at this point I won't know the difference."
"Salmon and potatoes."
"Oh that's a good idea, I'm stealing it."
"Bitch."
Prestidigitation will indeed not change the texture or shape, but rice and beef that tastes like peach cake can still be interesting. She spends a bit of extra time to concentrate the peach-y flavor in the beef - she's been doing this for years, now, and small differences like that can matter a lot.
She does a similar thing with the salmon and chicken flavors, for the other three.
"I've never eaten real cinnamon; I picked up the flavor from the other song-sorcerer at my garrison. He says it's the kind of ghastly expensive spice that rich nobles with more money than sense eat to show off how wealthy they are." She grins. "He might have just been fucking with me, though, he does that sometimes when he gets bored."
She does her best to subtly steer the topic of conversation towards fort #11, and how it's been faring recently. (Her best is pretty good.)
"Yeah they just fucking sent out, fucking, flyers, to post to the wall with all the other bulletins. Cheliax under attack, hold position, prepare for supply disruptions and some personnel recall, and then four days later. Four fucking days."
"We've been on seven-eighths rations, the bastards."
"Better seven-eighths for a long while than halfsies for a short one. Especially as the patrol schedule hasn't let up."
"Yeah, yeah."
"That's because for some reason Artigas keeps trading units with the neighbors and they keep letting him even though he gives away fuckups who can't follow an order if it's holding a Light right in front of their nose."
"They like excuses to have the rack occupied, I've told you that."
"You'd think they'd run out of racks! Or space to put racks! Or room in the schedule for somebody they're only feeding to make them patrol, to be on the rack instead!"
"I'm not saying it's how I'd do it, just, that's why they keep letting him trade and haven't been like 'hey fuck you for hogging all the good ones'."
"Well, he doesn't keep the rack full."
"Not like he's squeamish, he'll do it for desertion just like it says on the books."
"Makes Ventura do it, more like."
"Sure but like it gets done. I heard Grec say something one time and Artigas was like, something something, it's on the books, but real mercilessness would, something something, Hell is better at torturing people anyway."
Venn is herself squeamish (for definitions of squeamish that include "anti-torture"), but she's been to a Chelish fort before, and she's pretty good at controlling her facial expressions. It's just not very useful, being horrified or sad at Chelish worldwound soldiers, and so she doesn't do it.
She's still curious about Artigas. She rotates between tables, ingratiating herself with food flavorings and then catching up on local gossip, with an ear towards the unusual commander. (She asks about plenty of other things, too - it's no good to seem like you're snooping, even if you're doing it out of simple curiosity.)
One line of questioning gets her only repressed giggles.
--
"Grec" is apparently the First Arcane, in charge of the wizards and wizard-specific situations, though he also patrols sometimes (nobody gets out of patrolling - even a lot of the cooks and whores marched here, not urgent enough deployments to get teleported in with the stew ingredients, making their way around the border with regular squads, though the cooks and whores did not per se have duties on those patrols besides "walk"). He's very much Artigas's man, though he's got a favorite whore and nobody seems to take the idea that he and Artigas are fucking seriously. (Artigas, notably, does not appear to make use of the whores at all, that anyone leaks to Venn.)
--
Artigas is the Lawfullest Lawful Law-hole who ever Lawed, and will come down even on people he otherwise likes for minor fuckups like "claiming you had eyes on the squad cleric the whole time even though actually once you took a piss break and were not staring at her during that minute". Not, like, with the rack, generally, but if you do it a lot he'll trade you and he's very free with removing people's alcohol rations or putting them on worse shifts or reassigning them away from their pals if he thinks they're making each other worse.
She exchanges anecdotes from the other forts, tales of the more exciting incidents she's been deployed to, and other tidbits she thinks they might find interesting.
The things she's learning are fascinating! Better yet, she's pretty sure she's not getting the full picture, missing some important details that will make the rest of it make more sense. Social mysteries at a Chelish fort have a potential to be terrible, of course, but she's curious.
She disentangles herself from the last group she's been chatting with and heads back to her squad's room.
Ah, she's back. That was almost an hour, but not quite. "Learn anything interesting?"
Urdina's definitions of interesting are very different from his, but she's got a good eye and ear for troop morale. #11, according to her, seems higher-functioning and less socially frictious than #9, #20, and #43 (those being the other Chelish forts she's spent non-combat time at). Her best guess is that this has something to do with the commander, Chosen Artigas, who has some sort of non-obvious trick or strategy for making good personnel trades with the adjacent Chelish forts and whose most gossip-worthy trait is apparently that he is "really lawful, no, like, more lawful than that, lawful like you would not believe". (She does a good but also totally unnecessary Chelish accent for that bit.)
She thinks she's missing something about what's going on here, but she doesn't think it's urgent. He nods approvingly.
"So are you angling to fuck the guy?" She doesn't look up from the carving she's doing with the hezrou skull. (She's pretty sure Urdina isn't, in fact, angling to fuck the guy, but she's being weird and this is an easy way to make fun of her for it.)
The 'nice' thing about Demonscourge is that because she doesn't (as far as Venn can tell) actually care about how Venn reacts to her barbs, there isn't any practical reason not to radiate the annoyance she's feeling. (She doesn't say anything, of course. That would be Unprofessional.)
Venn loves to stay up late when there's reason to, but she's not feeling interested in shooting the shit with this particular squad today, as much as she likes Rowen and Marit. She's asleep before the other two return, which means she's the first of the four to wake up.
She goes through her morning routine in silence and then sneaks out of the room to see if the mess hall is open.
Oookay. She goes back to their room, and, oh, good, Rowen's awake.
She sits down on the floor next to him. "Sir, I think something unusual happened here last night. Weird mood in the mess hall, and their second-in-command wants me to do some healing for routine patrol injuries, was evasive when I asked about their usual healing."
He blinks. It's far too early in the morning for intrigue, but it seems that intrigue is happening anyways. Okay. What are the relevant considerations...
"Stef gets back from his leave today, so if you want to spend your song-sorcery here, I won't stop you." He pauses to think. "...Don't spy on our allies, obviously, but if there's any tactically relevant information that you can learn licitly..." he waves a hand vaguely. "Be careful, though. The people here are reliable allies. They are not our friends." Urdina isn't stupid, but she can be dangerously optimistic, in his opinion.
He shoos her so he can prepare his spells in peace.
It's the same song as last time, but instead of singing with lyre accompaniment, she plays it on a flute. It's still beautiful, and still heals the wounds of the audience, slowly but surely.
(She keeps a watchful eye on the assembled soldiers, before, during, and after, trying to see if she can learn anything more about what's going on here...)
They huddle up pretty pensively. The ones who were on the overnight patrol look pretty groggy, which makes sense if they were woken up from sleeping off their injuries to come get healed; the squad includes what look like four martials and a wizard, which is understrength for a patrol squad but maybe they lost a guy against the hezrou.
Venn nods. "I'll think it over."
She heads back to their room. "I think something happened to their healing situation. The second-in-command invited me to stay here instead of at the garrison, and he was casual about it but he's nervous - I'd say they're not desperate now, but if things don't get better, they might be."
"Urdina mentioned you'd appreciate it if I left her here for a few days, instead of having her on secondary standby back at the garrison. I can authorize this, but wanted to check in with you first" and he's not going to say and be sure she'll be treated well because that would be unprofessional, but he's thinking it.
Hmmm. "Well, her senior bard is starting a two week shift, so unless something happens to him she's not urgently needed back for at least that long. I expect I'll Sending her in a few days to get a status report and go from there. ...Don't send her out on routine patrols if you can help it, it's not a good use of her talents and she's supposed to be on reserve duty."
Okay, she's actually curious enough to check out... all of those besides Taldane practice and topology, though she may not stick around for some for very long. Are any of them at the same time?
(She'll also dip into the mess hall for flavoring and gossip whenever she gets the chance.)
Basic patrol skills is right on top of treaty review but otherwise they're scattered around.
The gossip continues thin and quiet until Grec takes report from a neighboring fort's outgoing patrol, and then he goes and tells four different people things, and they all run off to tell other people who are not in the mess hall things (in one case bringing along a porridge delivery), and then it gets a little louder. People quiet down when she gets close, but:
"- them too?"
"Why not back when -"
"But tomorrow -"
"- going to send -"
"- the Commander?"
Treaty review. They've got a copy of the treaty annotated in more colloquial Chelish for the class to pass around and share - everyone has at least the rudiments of literacy - and since she's there they might as well use her as an example of what they are and are not allowed to do to other treaty-applicable people. Like if she stabbed somebody they'd have to at least kind of try to make sure it wasn't a Suggestion if they could safely do that before killing her in self-defense, stuff like that.
Some people laugh at her in a way that is about that and not the quality of her performance but they then move on to the next participant's question, which is a hypothetical about how much they would be obligated to feed a giant. (The treaty doesn't have this but arbitration precedent from seventeen years ago does: they are not obligated to feed anyone who eats more than a horse, such individuals should get Rings of Sustenance. They also don't have to house a giant indoors.)
(She notices and doesn't really mind - if she'd want to avoid attention, she'd control her facial expressions. She does take note of who laughs unkindly, though.)
Huh! She did not know that about the giants. It's an interesting tidbit of trivia to store away in her brain.
Anything interesting afoot afterwards?
The announcement that there is an announcement consists of Grec standing on a table, just like Venn did to sing for people, and waiting until he's got critical mass.
"All right, shut up, everyone," he says, when he does. "Word's come in from neighbors on both sides now. All our clerics woke up without spells this morning. We have to presume it's the whole line. Artigas remains in command. If you've simply just fucking got to check in with him in person without me there then Farre y Puig and Bartra are both acceptable substitutes, but nobody goes to his office without one of the three of us, I don't care who you are because who you might be is fucking always a succubus. I'm still second. Our orders stand. And to tide us over while the guy next door scrapes together a devil calling arrangement he thinks holds up we are borrowing that there song-sorceress who's got a healing song." He points at Venn. "Couple weeks. She's not to patrol, so we've got her all to ourselves. If you want to know what happened to your favorite Chosen the answer is that Ventura's dead and we're hunting down the following as deserters -" A few names. "The rest? They'll see you in weapons classes catching up. They're soldiers like everybody else here. Keep order."
She doesn't draw attention to herself, but she slips towards the center of the room and pours magic into her humming, making it a bit louder but mostly low enough to be mistaken for the conversations happening all around her.
Without an obvious source, edges of the fear start slipping off the minds of the people in the room, courage bolstering their hearts.
(She can't keep this up too long, even using the trick where she pulses her magic on and off, but in times like this, even a minute can make a huge difference.)
Artigas can't exactly have been up all night with a revelation that only, definitionally, arrived at dawn, but he looks a little like that anyway. He has a glass object with some internal convolutions for bouncing light around inside it; he holds it out and Grec re-casts on it. He looks at Venn. He goes back in and sits back down at his desk.
"What's going on?" he asks.
"Commander. Being a song-sorceress means picking up a lot of information, some of which that I think might be useful to run classes on, while I'm here? Someone in the mess hall suggested praying to Pharasma, so I just did one on her churches - I was thinking I could do some other True Neutral and Lawful Neutral Gods, but I'd want to clear the list with you beforehand, and maybe see if there are other subjects that'd be high value?"
She doesn't really know what to say about the de-clericing because it's hard to tell exactly he feels about it, though "not good" is an obvious guess from his appearance. Probably stressed. It seems like a very stressful situation, even though she's hopeful about it being a good one in the long run.
She nods thoughtfully. "Okay. The order I was thinking is - Abadar, Gorum, Gozreh, then maybe Irori - I probably only want to do one God a day, there's a trick for pulling everything I know together just right but I can only really do it once before sleeping. And then... are there other topics that might be helpful? Demonology, maybe, I doubt at my best I'm better than your local expert -" which is probably the Commander, actually "- but I'm probably less busy and might have some tidbits they don't, and vice versa?"
...she's curious, is the thing. She likes trying to figure out what's going on with people, and she has no idea what makes Commander Artigas tick.
"I know you must be horribly busy, but if you'd like a new opponent and don't mind if they're mediocre, feel free to call on me." She trying to strike a balance between 'not flirting' and 'not a huge chess buff or anything' with her tone and body language, which is not a particularly large needle to thread; she does her best.
She nods. "That seems reasonable, though do let me know if I can cut off early on any given session - I can stretch the magic a lot further if I'm using it to help people with mundane tasks." She has a bit less to go around today because of what she spent during the announcement, but hopefully this won't leave anyone too badly off till morning.
She nods agreeably.
After dinner requests dry up, she'll go looking for Lt. Espina to swap notes on demonology. (She knows a wide but not very deep variety of things about the most common demons, but does have some useful anecdotes about scarier things she's seen when being called in and heard in the garrison's mess hall.)
Venn does not have a wizard's flexibility with her spell slots but won't push the issue.
She heads to bed, spends some time playing with her lyre and thinking about the people she's met here, and eventually falls asleep.
The next morning she does her mealtime Prestidigitation routine and waits for the injured to be gathered so she can heal them.
Grim. They are on the whole in their Chelish way glad that she is there but they are only borrowing her for a couple weeks and nobody's gotten Pharasma'd and people are trading disparaging remarks about whether anyone in the fort is the slightest bit "like the Commander's Abadaran pal" or "like that Gozrehn from last summer" or "a wizard who's also got any common sense".
...Makes sense. Well, she'll do what she can while she's here.
Abadar class! Abadar is the God of positive-sum trades, the creation of wealth, of cities. He is said to keep in his vault in Axis with copy of every piece of mortal writing and art, which Venn finds delightful.
She doesn't know as much about Mammon but she does her best! Abadar cares a lot more about the creation of wealth than the acquisition - building things that make it possible for people to become rich. He's called the God of Walls and Ditches, and some people think this is unflattering but walls and ditches are really important...
One of the three fifth circle clerics in rotation at her garrison is Abadaran; he has teleport, and he seems like he hates the demons a lot, but Venn agrees that there's definitely less of them here than there are Iomedaeans. She thinks it's probably just that Iomedae cares a lot about the Worldwound? Both Lastwell and Mendev hold part of the line, after all.
Still, the Abadaran supply lines are an important part of the operation! The Sending scrolls each fort relies on to be able to call in strike teams quickly are primarily sourced through the church of Abadar, and she's heard that they also arrange for the production of cold iron arrows that get used out here.
Oh, her guy fights in addition to teleporting. She has never met the insurance guy and could not really say either way what's up with him.
She decides to wrap things up - they've covered the relevant facts about Abadar, people can try praying to him if they feel so moved.
The next evening, Rowen hits her with a Sending to tell her about the cleric dropping and ask for a status update. It happens when she's in the middle of telling a story in the mess hall. She almost drops the reply, but she manages to let him know that she's fine, she knows about the cleric dropping, the fort is holding together with her help, and she remembers her codeword in time to tack it onto the end, which is not policy but it's better than nothing. (Embarrassed, she resolves to have a precomposed Sending reply for next time.)
Yeah, lots of them are in fact just stressed and scared and the situation is objectively stressful and scary, and the kinds of things she'd do as a bard to improve morale don't seem like they'd land very well due to cultural differences - she's already doing what she can, there. But some of the troops have fixable problems - in particular, she's found a few pairs of people she thinks would benefit from being discreetly offered squad swaps for personality fit reasons (she can go into her reasoning for each pair at length, if required).
Oh, that guy and his squad wizard had some kind of falling out since the announcement. They've both been really professional about it (she continues to be impressed with the professionalism here), but to her it's obvious the way they... shut down a little bit in each other's presence, in a way they absolutely did not when she arrived. She thinks they could really use some space from each other, at least for now.
"The king is the win condition. If you don't protect him, you lose," Blai says, setting up again and taking an additional one of his pawns off the board. "That's why you are forced to move him when he's threatened; if the rules did not require that it would just be an elaborate way of resigning, to decline to do so. Every other piece can be traded, sacrificed, handled carelessly if you're trying to do a timed game - not the king."
She nods thoughtfully.
This time, she abandons the standard opening she used in the previous games (she'd pretty clearly learned it by watching someone else without understanding the benefits) and attempts to trade pieces with him aggressively. She's not great at it and often ends up trading down (including a hasty queen-for-knight trade she winces at), but it's a much more straightforward goal than "don't make mistakes", and this handicap is pretty large...
She looks at her pawn, and then at his rook, and then at her king, and finally at Blai. "Ah."
From that point on she tries harder to make sure she can actually execute on her trades, which (when combined with the sizeable handicap) will get them into a non-trivial endgame (where she quickly loses her remaining pawns attempting to get them promoted too aggressively).
The Commander can still do paperwork - and even woke up during the alarm last night to go out and help beat a demon to death that beached itself across the Wardstone barrier - but he's less busy than he was before. He has time for chess. He thinks they've got about the right handicap level till she improves.
Excellent! She's going to try a knight-centric strategy this game.
She's a bit chattier, today, often asking him questions after he makes a move. At first it's chess strategy basics (she's especially curious about how he thinks about playing while handicapped, it seems difficult), but she starts weaving in other questions as the game goes on. How long has he been at the Worldwound, and how long has he command of fort #11?
Playing while handicapped is not fundamentally different from playing with a lot of pieces captured, or (in a redeployment variant) one's opponent having lots of extras. It will limit his possible endgames - can't rook-roll with one rook and no queen - but the middlegame is all about looking at what's there, not what would have been in another boardstate.
He's been at the Wound for twenty years and he's had the command of #11 for coming up on eight, the promotion came about a year after he... hit... third circle.
That makes sense! (Rook-rolling?)
"I must admit that I'm very curious about and impressed with Fort #11, as compared to the other Chelish forts I've spent time at? Your people are" better-adjusted, less miserable she should really finish this sentence without a noticeable pause to search for a non-offensive thing "easier to work with than I was expecting. More lawful, in some ways. If you don't mind my asking - how did you do it?" She knows what his troops, say, of course, but she wants to know how he thinks about it (or what he wants her to think about how he thinks about it).
He can demonstrate between games how to corner a king with two rooks.
"I trade units a lot for - fit. Quite often my counterparts in adjacent forts expect to be able to beat people into shape who I'm not finding success with and I am often able to make use of soldiers they have performance problems with. Different styles bring out the best in different men."
Neat! She'll try and keep both her rooks alive next game, or at least do her best to avoid losing one not in a trade. (She's hoping to at least get a draw or two today.)
She nods at the answer - very similar to how his men tell it, though 'beat into shape' is of course a very different spin on it than 'wanting to keep the racks full'. "Was that something fort #11 was doing before you were in charge?" Or did you come up with this, and if so, how did that happen?
Venn does end up managing to draw the last game that they play, which she's very happy about. She leaves to go help Espina (Lt.) with the demonology class (it's Quasit day) and then hangs out in the mess hall playing her lyre and chatting with people who swing by until it's time to do her evening healing.
One of noon patrols got ambushed pretty bad, and she ends up needing to use most of her songpower for the day patching them up. (She really can't wait to get her third circle spells - there's one Stef showed her that would be so useful for this. She knows she's close...)
No reports have made it inside the fort, yet, but someone on the parapets is clearly very agitated and everyone's running for their armor and weapons, stew abandoned on the tables, the people she just healed refusing to wince as they form up. Grec charges down the stairs hollering for all hands against a large mixed attack, with the Commander following, slowed by his mail.
There's archers on the parapets and the force that goes out the front door is the melee guys and their support. The archers are focusing on the demons of the small gathered horde that is not yet clashing with the soldiers, so they don't hit their own. The Commander is leading from the front, calling out unit numbers and orders to go with them while he's meeting a hala mace-first.
She slows them down, so instead of a single wall of demons they have a staggered mass of them that keeps coming as they fall and bleed and expend their spells and somebody on the roof switches to the cheap arrows and the Holy bow even though they miss half the time like that and there are fewer demons, gradually, not monotonically, sometimes one can get a summon off even this close to the Wardstone barrier. The commander swats a schir clear through the shimmering wall and it passes out, ignorable for the moment, and he has to turn his attention to something else - at some point he switches his mace to the other arm, something too badly cut or wrenched in his right to swing at full strength - and there are fewer demons, but fewer soldiers, too, and the bird won't be anywhere near the next fort yet.
She stays right behind the vanguard, drops another Grease, spends her last second circle slot on a Glitterdust, bangs her shield to her final burst of courage-song, and they're close, but that fucking Hala won't stop harrying them -
she strings a cold iron arrow, whispers a prayer, and hits it through the eye, and it's hurting bad but now she's visible and it's very angry with her,
She is surrounded by people who REALLY hope she makes it to tomorrow for their own sake if nothing else and one of them gets between her and the hala but he's definitely fighting a lot of impairment to function at this point. A shot from the Holy bow gets the hala in the neck and that helps, though. Doesn't help at all with the demon that was behind Venn and has now realized where she is though. A claw goes right between the links in her armor.
Augh - it hurts horribly, but she's tough from years of adventuring, and it'll take more than that to bring her down.
She takes a step away from it, fires another cold iron arrow straight into its face, and it strikes true and she feels a rush of triumph before realizing she's now in range of the last schir on the field -
Venn can think of lots of better things she would like better than being stabbed, but unfortunately her preferences don't seem to be very relevant, here.
The halberd pierces her chain shirt right where the armor was already rent by claws, stabbing deep into her back. She cries out, staggering, barely on her feet.
She's out of song and there are so many soldiers on the ground, not moving.
Is there anything she can do - she stumbles over to the man who fell trying to save her from the schir and tries to tend to his wounds, she's not trained in medicine but obviously the basics are "stop people from bleeding", she can try that.
Artigas is right there. "Commander, I know it's a long shot, but if you haven't tried praying to Iomedae yet..."
She supposes the incredulity is rather reasonable, all things considered, but... "It might work, I can explain why I think so but it would take time, people are dying and I'm out of song, I can't do more than hold a wound closed -" she's trying to keep the emotion from leaking too much into her voice, she knows it makes Chelish people uncomfortable, but it's hard.
She prays to Shelyn. Eternal Rose, please - this man has done Evil and has spent much of his life in the service of Hell, but holding the Worldwound has been the work of his life, regardless of how he got here. You have always taught us that nobody is beyond redemption, that it is worth reaching out - please, help Iomedae see him, hear him,
Okay fine he feels stupid but that doesn't fucking matter.
The bard thinks he can reach Iomedae and she's right that it's hardly time to explain how in the world she came by that idea. This is not literally metaphysically impossible. He's probably Evil but you can, you are allowed by the laws of Creation, to switch in an instant, if it's the right instant. Going from Good to Evil is simpler but not necessarily faster than the reverse, and he doesn't in fact need to go that far, just to be on the right side of the board, the side with fucking healing, he won't have Stabilize and they'll still lose at least a hundred men here today but even with his two channels a day they can hold it down to that.
He's got a knife on his belt. If it doesn't work he can swipe somebody's sword but he thinks the question here is not about the quality of his sharp object. He unsheathes it and -
Well, how did he do this last time. I will serve.
This does not work instantly but he can go on feeling stupid for a moment longer in case there is a configuration that does. Perhaps Iomedae has higher standards than desperate underslept supplication. Or this just won't work because he's fucking Evil, but -
Asmodeus lost, lost something even if He's not outright dead, and Blai has not been turned white from black and placed on the board on the other side, but he could be, he's standing ready. He has nothing tethering him to the service of Hell any more. He is not attached to lying or whoring or torturing and he has no personal ambition and no pride and no contract granting any devil title to his soul but he is pretty committed to the Wound and She does that too and he can stand on Her side and he will serve -
- she knew Artigas wouldn't have had them drag people together for a channeling if he didn't have them, but there's a world of difference between knowing it and feeling the wave of healing energy close up the worst of her wounds and bring fifty men from the brink of death to their feet.
...She catches the shock on as many as several faces - the theologically complexities will need navigating, of course - "Praise the Gods!" she shouts, because that's a pretty straightforwardly safe thing to say in this situation.
Well, no, it wouldn't be, but it's better than Praise Iomedae and - not important right now.
Venn runs to look for survivors, she's no good at carrying them but she can check quickly and call them out to others as she keeps moving, and it's important to be visibly helping.
She nods. "Yeah, it would have been much better than nothing - I do try really hard to save my last bit of song, but I wasn't sure if we were going to survive this at all, without it."
In a lower voice "...I think it was very brave of him, though. To pray a God, hoping they'd care more about the Worldwound and the people holding it than what Pharasma thinks of them,"
Ah, she wasn't sure who all had caught that specific detail. "...knife means Iomedae, I'm pretty sure. Which I think makes sense? She obviously cares a lot about Worldwound defense, right, and there are many legends of people's alignments changing dramatically just in time to save or ruin them..."
"I think there's song-sorcerers back home? I dunno that I've ever heard them being particularly fussy about censorship."
This might or might not have been Txell's original bowl of stew from when the alarm bells rang but she's going to Prestidigitate it up warm again and eat it regardless.
The commander comes in a bit behind everyone else - clerics get some training in non-magical medical assessments that is, whatever the motives, applicable to figuring out how it's safe to move people and who needs to be channeled at most urgently first thing in the morning and who needs a wound cauterized so it won't be infected come dawn. But eventually that's handled and the information passed on to those who need it and the living are all walked inside one way or another.
He had not come to dinner yet when the bells rang, so he doesn't have a previous bowl of stew to reclaim.
He's going to go stand on a table to make an announcement to everyone well enough to chew.
"If it escaped anyone, I am answering now to Iomedae," he says loudly. "Expect changes accordingly."
Ragged shellshocked nodding.
He steps down and gets a bowl.
She's met chatty paladins (and slept with one or two) but they tend to be the exception, and also she imagines that even dear Siena would have precious little to say to the commander of a Chelish Worldwound fort. "I'd be happy to - tomorrow morning after breakfast, perhaps?"
"Uh, the only thing I can think of is that Iomedaean paladins never lie. I don't know if this is required for Her clerics also, because I've never had an extended conversation with one. I wouldn't be surprised if it did, though."
She sits down. "So... the thing that I told Txell last night, which is true-but-not-complete, is that there are legends of people's alignments jumping instead of changing gradually, when they had a big change of conviction in moments where it mattered most to them, and this seemed like it could have been one. From what she said to me, it sounded like maybe some of those stories are censored in Cheliax? But it does ever happen." She pauses to see if he wants to comment before she continues.
She nods. "That makes sense. Anyways - the part of it that I didn't share with Txell and don't plan on singing from the tabletops is that I think it's very likely you were Lawful Neutral yesterday morning, and maybe have been for years. Holding the Worldwound has been, as far as I can tell, the thing you've made your life's work, and it's a Good cause, so much so that we commonly see adventurers come to the response garrison entirely self-interestedly, and wealthy nobles donate to the effort for similar reasons. Torture is Evil, even when it's Lawful, but... most of what makes it Evil is the cruelty, I think. And you don't seem like you go in for that at all - you transfer soldiers out when you can't work with them, systemically, and the result is the most functional Chelish Worldwound fort I've ever been at."
"...if it were common to become Lawful Neutral just for spending one's career at the Worldwound then at some point someone better at archery than I would notice the Holy bow didn't burden them and I have not heard reports of this though I suppose it's possible one might keep it to oneself."
Venn nods. "Yeah, that makes sense to me. If you had been aiming for alignment I suspect you would have talked about it very differently, when I asked. I still think it was... unusually non-Evil behavior, for someone in the position you were in."
She pauses, and then continues in a softer tone. "...for what it's worth, I'm happy you're not going to Hell."
She nods. But, well, how to put this,,. "...I think it would have been a good idea for a wide variety of people in your position, just in case it did work, but... I wouldn't have suggested it, to most of them." Because they wouldn't have done it, and would have been nasty to her about it, unlike him.
She shakes her head. "No, because it was obvious to me that you would consider it, and wouldn't treat me poorly for suggesting it. ...I think the average ex-cleric of Asmodeus would have done the opposite." The treaty does not protect adventurers from as many as several kinds of harassment.
She grins and nods. "That one's hard, with Chelish people. I wouldn't get much more than a glimpse, visiting on a patrol - it's a lot of talking to people in a way that gets their guard down a bit and being good at listening, paying attention to what they're not saying..." she shrugs. "I'm curious about a lot of things it's not easy to learn more about." Like you.
"From a practical perspective... Lastwall's forts do not use torture for punishment. They execute for desertion and capital crimes. They take abuses of power (of soldiers over non-combatants, of officers over soldiers, of non-prisoners over prisoners) very seriously - in particular, they forbid and severely punish rape. You'll want to get one of their handbooks for the exact rules, but my understanding is that the idea is that for everyone who's not an officer, the list of rules is simple enough to memorize, and it is enforced without exceptions."
She tilts her head, frowning. "The results are certainly impressive, but I do think that part of why it works so well is that the forts are full of people who grew up in Lastwall."
"I'm not sure I can implement 'severely punish' and 'not torture' without knowing what the severe punishment normally is so this switch might have to wait for the handbook. My habit has been that my officers have discretion as long as I don't notice any problems and I myself, uh, play chess with people."
He was punishing his men with chess???
"...I am extremely curious about how that worked," she says, with obvious delight. "I do agree that it makes sense to wait for guidance and a handbook from Lastwall to set up new rules, as opposed to relying on a bard's memory" even if the bard is very pretty she is not saying that to this man who she has not caught staring at her tits even once.
She frowns in thought. "...I'm not sure? Lastwall's forts don't have whores, but the Mendevian one I've been to did, and the commander there was a paladin of Iomedae, too. I wasn't there long enough to get a chance to ask her about it, but I remember her name, if you wanted to write to her." She pauses, then continues in a softer voice. "...It would be kind of horrible, though, to announce that rape will no longer be tolerated here, only to send the most common victims off somewhere where it's still allowed." she thinks about no she doesn't.
-nod. "I assume based on what I saw at fort #51 that you are not theologically forbidden from having whores here or supplying them with emmenagogues, at least."
Hmmm.... "...How many are stationed here? Could you absorb them into the cooking and custodial staff, if they wanted?"
Pensive nod. She doesn't really have much more to say there, what were they talking about before this...
Oh. Right. "...It is my understanding that Lastwall forbids rape in all cases, including when the victim is male and when the perpetrator is female. Worth clarifying, if people here won't expect that." She could see it going either way and does not at this moment care to guess.
"Charm Person can 'convince' someone to do something they'll feel horrified about and violated by afterwards. So can the right kinds of social pressure, applied to a drunk man, or threats made by a commanding officer."
She shakes her head. "It's much less common. But it does happen, even without magic."
"Oh, ah, I'm not sure exactly how to explain it. I suppose if I don't currently know what I ought to be switching to in its place I can invite you to sit in should it come up in the near future, that probably won't do any injury to the associated tone of the interaction that the Iomedaeanism won't by itself."
She stops, visibly thinking about it.
(Iomedae chose him! She likes him! ...and yet. There are still a lot of ways "watch me punish someone else using a novel technique that I invented as an Asmodean cleric" could be pretty unpleasant, honestly?)
"Hmmm. Would you be willing to demonstrate now? I could be your prospective punishee."
For some reason, this makes her giggle!
"Empowered Iomedaeans are allowed to say 'to accomplish some mutually agreed-upon goal, we are both going to pretend that some alternate set of facts are true for a limited duration, though of course either of us can indicate verbally that we are uncomfortable and want to stop pretending at any time'. Scenario roleplay is an important way of teaching!"
(That's not how she knows this, but if he doesn't ask she's not going to clarify~)
...Ah, fuck.
"Uh. For me, this came up came up when I was having interesting sex with a paladin who I am very sure still had her powers afterwards." She looks and sounds embarrassed but she is not going to lie to him about how she knows facts about his new God. "But it's the same principle, really - we agree beforehand on the set of facts we are mutually pretending are true, and on a set of codewords that we can use to pause or end the interaction immediately."
She can tell he's flustered, but he's hiding it well enough that she doesn't know how flustered he is.
She smiles apologetically, but doesn't say anything - probably better to just let it slide.
"Want to give it a try? Our codewords can just be 'pause-now' and 'stop-now' - simple easy to remember." She enunciates pause-now and stop-now both like they're single words, with a firmness in her voice that is not usually present.
"Oh, I believe entirely that your intentions had no connection to the outcome. The trouble is that this is the characteristic of an incompetent, and as this is the third time, specifically an incompetent who is not improving." The pieces finish forming up on either side. Venn has the white ones, but Blai advances a pawn anyway. "Make a move, Urdina."
He intercepts her knight with the bishop. "You see," he says, "we space out the patrols such that it is rare for a demon to have enough time to shake off the stun and flee the area, before someone can arrive and take it out. Perhaps you have come by the impression," he gets another pawn pulled forward, and then one of his knights, "that a few minutes here and there, a missed patrol now and then, do not much matter? After all, you so seldom come by a stunned demon."
He sets up again, and again White oversleeps, and he takes pieces mercilessly. "You see, the demons can see. They can hide out, invisible or otherwise concealed, within the barrier where we are not venturing, and watch. And they can find holes. And they can notice patterns, just like I can notice that you keep exposing this rook," he takes it. "So of course you seldom find a stunned demon. You only find the stupid ones flinging themselves across the ward at a random time and place, hoping that by random chance you happen to be on the next squad due. The smart ones?" He checkmates her again. "Figure out when you are assigned, and know that this gives them extra moments, and choose that time, and perhaps one day they are already awake when you arrive, and they keep you alive long enough to see if the next patrol finds your screaming to be a useful hit to morale." He checkmates her again, crushes her king to powder, and sprinkles it like snow over the rest of her remaining pawns. "But you don't have to be smart, Urdina. I can work with a moron. If the moron follows orders and reports for her assignments."
"Y-yes, sir. I understand, sir." She's trying not to radiate misery with her body language, because presumably she's a Chelish soldier in this situation and they don't do that. (unfortunately she is finding this unexpectedly very hot and that is making it hard to not play her character the way she would if this were a different kind of roleplaying experience...)
Her lip quivers. Her eyes are downcast. Her shoulders hunch forward, accentuating her chest.
"You are to report to your CO that he's authorized by any means necessary to get you out of bed as early as two hours before your patrols begin if it doesn't happen to be convenient to him to duck in with any less margin than that. You are to be in bed unoccupied and silent no less than ten hours before your patrols begin, to accommodate this. And I am never to hear of any patrol of yours embarking late again, even if it's not your fault, because you are going to be up very early and have plenty of time to help your squadmates into their armor and make sure none of them are trying to get eaten by a nabasu. Do you understand me?"
She nods. "That makes sense, yeah." People are wildly differently susceptible to - buying into framing devices like that for harsh lectures, even in places where Actual Literal Torture isn't a common punishment. "I assume you would do - different variants, based on the infraction?"
Ah, fuck, that was weird of her, wasn't it. "...Ah, sorry. I think I'm still a bit off-kilter from yesterday." Among other things.
"If that's all, I should probably go" have a long hard think about her life choices "and prep a Sending response with a situation update for Rowen, if he ends up having a spare casting this evening."
...okay. Let's try that again.
She has a crush on Select Artigas. This is... vaguely unprofessional (Her internal Rowen disapproves. She sticks her tongue out at him.) But they're not in the same chain of command, as he just observed, and she doesn't actually think it's the kind of thing she actually shouldn't act on, if she wants to.
Does she want to?
Well. a big complication there is that she has no idea if he's interested.
He still hasn't ever checked her out... which means, she's not his type or he just doesn't do that ever... That one seems plausible; Venn's read is that he keeps a lot of himself tucked away ("of course he does", her inner Amira says, "he grew up in Cheliax", which. Yeah).
Okay. What does she want?
She wants to get to know him better. She wants him to get to know her better. She doesn't want to leave this fort in a week and go back to being the garrison's standby bard. And she wants to watch (and help with!) the upcoming transitionary period at fort #11. she wants to do more roleplay she rolls her eyes, but, no, yeah, she does...
...she won't get to do most of those if she leaves next week.
The attitude is more confused but also more optimistic now that they have a cleric again, and not just a cleric, some first-circle negative-channeling Nethysian or whatever, but a third-circle Iomedaean. They are however nervous about what the "expect changes accordingly" thing is supposed to mean for them.
Venn will attempt to strategically get the word out about some things she's very sure about Iomedaeans, both things she expects will be positive updates ("no using torture for punishment / just because superiors feel like it") and things she expects will be big culture shocks ("no rape, seriously no rape, yes this includes the whores", "they do execute people for some crimes you might use torture for").
Reactions are... mixed. Some midranking officers do not really know else to make idiots listen, a lot of people assume this just means you have to pay the whores instead of assigning yourself free extras, some people are alarmed that the commander being Iomedaean has somehow made them more and not less likely to wind up in Hell over a fuckup.
Iomedaean forts have the least discipline problems of any fort she's ever been despite being staffed mostly by Normal People, so she's sure that they have effective systems for keeping people in line, she's just not sure on the details there.
You do absolutely have to pay the whores, yes, and also make sure that the money in exchange for the sex is a thing they want.
That is an extremely valid thing to be alarmed about! She is going to be sympathetic and do her best to offer advice without platitudes. (They should definitely take some time to, in these new circumstances, think long and hard about whether or not they regret the evils they've done in their lives and want to commit to themselves to do better in the future, that matters sometimes!)
...they're whores, the point of them is that they exchange sex for money. If they stop doing it that's like, desertion except for whores.
A surprising number of people think they have no real rap sheet and just should expect to go to Hell because you have to be some ridiculous exhausting amount saintly to get anywhere north of that. Some of them were quietly hoping to get sent home from the wound and farm a lot since Erastil likes that in case it helped.
She makes an argument by analogy about how soldiers are not expected to go fight demons 24/7.
Yeah no she is very sure that this is a thing that Infernal Cheliax lied to them about. Every non-Chelish cleric she's talked to (and she's talked to a lot of clerics) about this says that alignment distribution is basically equal among most human nations - you don't have to be a saint to avoid an Evil afterlife.
Erastil does like farming, yes.
...she does not have a comprehensive account of how whoring work in the Mendevian forts, she's only been to one once. Lastwall's forts do not have whorehouses and punish rape very severely.
No, places strongly affiliated with one God lean in that God's direction. She's pretty sure almost nobody in Lastwall goes to hell? Places like Taldor are where you see basically equal splits, she thinks.
He puts his head in his hands. What. What. How.
Marit puts a hand on his shoulder, misreading his body language. "How bad is it? Is she alive?"
He sighs. "Oh, no, Urdina seems fine and fort #11 is doing much better than expected! Because Commander Artigas is now a cleric of Iomedae."
"...may Hell be denied another soldier," Marit says solemnly, and then continues, in a higher-pitched voice, "but also. What? Was that man not, less than a week ago, Asmodeus's cleric?"
"He was, yes. I can only presume Urdina had something to do with this, especially because she wants to stay there longer, but I cannot for the life of me imagine what."
Why is his life like this. "Demonscourge, cut it out," he says mostly on autopilot. (She glares at him. He ignore this.)
"Marit, I need to borrow your copy of the Acts of Iomedae and also the Lastwall handbook, Select Artigas wants a copy of both and I have the time to Scriveners one out before we make our reinforcement decision tonight." Marit nods and stands up to go grab them. "If you can bring me some paper too, that'd be great." Thumbs-up.
He sighs again. "I need to think for a bit before I reply to Urdina, but given how bad things are along that stretch of the Wound, I suspect having her and Artigas stationed at #11 in the medium term and providing healing to neighboring forts regularly could save a lot of lives, so we might be down our backup song-sorceress for a while." Which is a shame - he'll miss having her around. In addition to how valuable song-sorcery is, she's just very good to have around for morale, even with the prickly types like Demonscourge.
Select Artigas is out on patrol to provide channels to #15, so she can't report the Sending right away. This turns out to be good, because in a few hours she gets a Sending telling her to report to #8 (which is in the other direction) tomorrow night to pick up some supplies, copies of the books and confirm what her responsibilities are going to be. (She replies with an acknowledgement and a request for some of her stuff to be brought along.) She finds a time to tell Select Artigas this, once he gets back.
"Well, it's just that it's very conspicuous that their people hate us, whenever we cross paths, or else they radiate pity, and this impedes - more sophisticated contemplation about why that might be and what it means. It doesn't look very different from one's classmate or neighbor glaring daggers, or - there isn't a lot of pity to be had in Cheliax but that doesn't make it hard to recognize or particularly palatable."
She nods thoughtfully. "Yeah, pity is... really hard to not come off as condescending, I think, unless it's someone you know well? I try and avoid expressing it in most circumstances." Knight move. "...Another thing that often trips us up is the difference in expressiveness. It took me a while to pick up on and adjust for."
She shrugs. "I do it less in the mess hall, but it hasn't seemed like it bothers you. And..." She also castles. "I am enjoying myself, here. It's - I know there's a lot of misery that I could find if I looked closer, but... Hell exists, there's always more misery you can find if you go looking. Doesn't mean it's right to make yourself miserable about it, too. Just means you should help, if you can."
"At any rate, while I have met paladins before and spoken to them enough to know things like the once a month fun requirement and the no lying protocol, my principal exposure to non-Asmodean religious practice is the insurance adjuster, Fiducia Boian, who comes around about once a year and has never related to me in that way."
"We have one full-time at the Garrison, but I'd talked to them in Absalom, growing up, and yeah. When I find a new one I sometimes like to ask them what their least orthodox economic opinions are - usually it's things I can't follow very well or care that much about, but it's almost always interesting, and sometimes they explain it well enough that I learn something new."
She grins. "'People should be able to bid on becoming the next king or queen'. 'Abadar should sell cleric circles'. 'Minting new coins is theft from owners of existing coins'. 'Whorehouses should be taxed to help fund orphanages'. 'We should just tax bandits relative to their claimed area and then leave them alone'. 'The Church of Abadar should use an internal currency backed by dormant dragon eggs'. 'It is wrong to sell things for much less than they are worth'. 'Dragons hoarding gold helps keep the value of gold from dropping, which is good'. 'Dragons hoarding gold helps keep the value of gold from dropping, which is bad'. I want so badly to put those last two in the same room but they're both first-circles employed in cities a thousand miles apart, so it's probably never happening..." She moves a pawn forward to block the check.
She shrugs. "Some Good people do, definitely. It's... not a topic I tend to seek out actively; it comes up enough on its own." And as conversations go they're usually trite, sometimes off-puttingly self-congratulatory, occasionally extremely distressing, and only rarely actually interesting, to her.
"I think find both Law and Chaos more conceptually interesting than Good, if I'm being honest?"
"I suppose that makes sense. Well. Most people aren't all that interested in it but occasionally there's someone else curious about figuring out what Law demands in more detail than not accidentally winding up in the Abyss and we - set each other puzzles and try to answer them and explain what our intuitions might mean in a more generalizable form."
"Oh, things like - suppose your unit is under orders to investigate reports of quasits in the woods but not to engage. You believe it to be the case, based on the reports, but were not given contingencies about it being the case, that this is because the quasits may be able to do some horrible blood ritual if they collect a casualty, and fail to clarify, perhaps because the orders came by Sending and no followup was possible. If the quasits ambush you and kill your squad leader, and you cannot get out with his corpse while harried by quasits, do you flee to avoid engaging, or fight them to make an effort to prevent them from having access to the body?"
She shrugs. "I got to meet a travelling Kofusachan, the year before I left Absalom, while I was singing at a bar in Tiantown. She said that to her, Chaos was about - trusting in herself as a process, trusting all the possible people she might become to make the best choices without being weighed down by rules and conditions she shackled them with. How did she put it..."
Her voice drops in pitch and slows down a bit, presumably imitating the woman in question. "Law is stable, and it is good for institutions to be stable, so that the people who must interface with them know what to expect. And of course there are many who find comfort and meaning in trying to make themselves be stable in the same way. But I know that I will be wiser, kinder, and better informed in a year than I am today, and so I have no need for stability and no desire to place unnecessary constraints on any of the people I might someday become."
"Not everyone becomes wiser, kinder, and better informed over the course of a given year, and some people she might find herself trying to cooperate with might need something more specific than - I should probably not be trying to convince a Chaotic Good person who is not even here and who, if here, would be spending divine budgets I can't expect to wield on the cause of Good. I'm assuming this person is Good, I haven't actually heard of the Kofusachans."
She smiles at the aborted rebuttal. "I'd be a bit surprised if you had! I hadn't either, until I met her. Kofusachi is mostly worshipped by the people of Tian; He's the Chaotic Good God of prosperity, happiness, and travel."
She switches voices back to the Kofusachan's and adds: "the road ahead should lead to your happiness, and the road behind should be more abundant for your passage."
She laughs. "I think those are the instructions? Move towards what makes you happy, and do your best to leave the peoples and places you pass through better for your passage. There's common practices - Kofusachans are encouraged to support local businesses and help people find joy in their day-to-day lives - but my understanding is that it's intentionally open-ended."
She giggles playfully. "It's not news to anyone at #11, Select."
Her face softens a bit. "It very much isn't a philosophy for everyone, but... it was really good for me, to hear it when I did. If I hadn't met her, I don't think I would have left Absalom, and my life would have been much poorer for it."
"Well, I'm only a dabbler, in both Kofusachanism and Chaos. Ultimately, I'm here because it seemed like somewhere I could help a little bit with the big problem and help a lot more with the small problems that get neglected in the face of something so vast and terrible, and because I wanted to meet and make friends with the kinds of people who end up here. And I think it's been working out pretty well, on all counts."
A flash of sorrow passes briefly across her face. "I suppose if everyone I've befriended was in one place there would be no way for me to keep up with them all. But... I haven't really stayed in one place for long enough for it to come up, since my journey began. I write letters to those dearest to me, and try to stick around long enough for their replies to make it back, or let them know in the letter where I'm heading next."
It's hard, when she pours her heart onto paper and doesn't get a reply (or worse, a few short sentences from someone with just enough info to let her know they didn't really read her letter - when there's no reply, she can at least tell herself that the mail wasn't delivered). Sometimes there's weeks or even months where she can't bring herself to pick up a quill. But the letters she keeps stashed in her haversack are among her most prized possessions, and she always comes back to it.
...she can't actually tell if he's joking, which is in its own way very delightful. The man's sense of humor would be at home in Osirion summers.
"I fill my letters with a summary of notable or interesting things in my life since the last time I wrote to them, small things that reminded me of them, answers to questions they may have sent in their last message, and questions about what's going on in their lives. If it's a friend who won't mind the additional steps, I'll also include some questions and tidbits for our mutual friends that I'm less close to, since it's easier to write one letter than several. And often I'll put in a promissory note for a few silver, for my friends who have trouble making ends meet; it'll cover postage back and a few meals for their families." She smiles.
"What I get back depends a lot on the person. Sometimes it's their version of what I send, sometimes it's excited updates about their personal projects, sometimes them talking about the hard events in their lives that they want my advice on or just want someone who cares about them to have heard." And sometimes it's plesentaries that tell her they've moved on, and want her to also.
She tilts her head to think about it. "Seven or eight?" (months when she's too focused on New Place / People to avoid letting some of the letters pile up are not typical, and neither are the catching-up months after.) "I have a few I want to write later this evening, actually." (would she have remembered this if they hadn't had this conversation? Who Can Say.)
"Oh, I won't get any writing done until after my healing shift in an hour or so, it's easier for me when I have longer stretches of time. But I can get out of your hair now if you have other duties to attend to." She'd rather not - she's Not Obviously Losing this chess game, which is neat, and she's really enjoying the conversation because she has caught feelings for him, but she doesn't want to wear him out. Befriending and bedding introverts is an act of balancing.
She nods. "Oh, that reminds me - I'll need to confirm it with Rowen tomorrow, but I expect to get his approval to take patrols to neighboring forts for healing purposes, if that changes any of the logistical work you need to do." It won't really make sense for them to go out on patrol together, unfortunately, but she's still looking forward to it for a lot of reasons.
...Check?
"...I would want to visit a fort a few times before deciding whether I feel comfortable bunking there. I know Chelish forts usually are among the best on the line about respecting the Worldwound treaty, but these are... stressful times." She looks uneasy, and also somewhat embarrassed about being uneasy about this. (She's still not thinking about it.)
...Venn tenses up a bit and doesn't immediately respond. (This is staggeringly unprofessional. "He's going to think you're a child", she imagines Demonscourge saying, which is really unhelpful, actually,)
She nods in acknowledgement while she tries to think of something to say that isn't stupid.
"I have the standard song-sorcery music that makes people less afraid and better at hitting things, a mix of disruptive and support magic at second circle. Glitterdust, Unbreakable Heart, and I have a short duration Heroism variant that goes on one person and then spreads to someone else every moment. And I'm decent with a bow, though the one I carry is nothing special if the fort has a nicer one I can borrow."
Someone has put about that Venn is half blue dragon; this would explain the sorcery and the color scheme. The ox parchment turns out to work for scrolls if you get a particularly nice square of it. Someone's rumored to have frostbitten the tip of his prick stopping to piss in the middle of a patrol, saved only by one of the channels occurring before anything could fall off, but that's probably not true because you need it to be colder than this for frostbite to set in that fast.
She has a fit of laughter at the half-dragon rumor ("quarter, actually, on my father's side," she says when she's calmed down, voice and face making it clear she's joking). She's happy for the ox parchment guy!
(The dick frostbite rumor is in some ways reassuring because it's the kind of stupid shit people spread to blow off steam when they're trying to get back to normal - hearing none of that kind of rumor usually means people are really stressed.)
When she finishes eating with Txell and her squad, she excuses herself to go write letters, which occupies her for the rest of the evening.
(It's... abstractly painful, which is why she doesn't usually do it when she's in this kind of mental state. You could write a sad mope song about this! she thinks to herself, vaguely mockingly.)
She's ready too - A Venn is not, by nature, a punctual creature, but this is the kind of problem that can be reliably overcome with a policy of "No, actually, you have to get ready an hour early every time. Then you can chat at the ready spot.".
(Scan, scan, scan the horizon for demons...)
Scan the snow for footprints, more like. That is, both, but they see footprints first.
"Okay, now we have to do the entire fucking thing or we're going in the stew," grouses Txell. They have an entire process for seeing how far the footprints go and making sure that their own footprints look human so the next patrol can tell that they have done this correctly. She can talk Venn through it as they march on their detour.
Surprisingly for those who've only encountered her in the dining hall, Venn on patrol doesn't start conversations (though she'll continue them happily, of course), and is leaking much less with her facial expressions. She's an attentive listener and repeats the key parts of the protocol back to Txell at the end, just to confirm.
Action time!
The enemy is enough away that she's to apply buffs before attempting disruption, so she tags the agreed-upon fighter with Contagious Zeal - he already knows the order to apply it to the rest of them.
She slaps her buckler and starts up her song-sorcery, courage filling the hearts of her allies.
She only ends up firing the one arrow into it, when all is said and done - they actually manage to bring it down before it successfully lands a hit on any of the soldiers, which Venn is delighted to see.
She's grinning as she lets the magic finish fading from her song - she's down a tiny bit of song-sorcery and a first circle and second circle spell, but there's plenty more where all of those came from.
A shame she never managed to get down the trick of Stef's song for a forced march. (He's barely got more spells than her despite having two circles on her; instead has so much flexibility for song-sorcery. Venn suspects it has something to do with the thing where he can play so many different instruments?)
She'll hustle along with the rest!
She grins at him. "It's nice to see you too, sir. And yes, I'm sure. Not forever, obviously, but... at least a month or two longer? It's very different from the kind of work we usually do, but... I really feel like I'm making a difference, and it's a fascinating change of pace."
His initial impression was that it's a horrible waste of her talent, but #11 has in fact been doing much better than its neighbors and he doesn't really know how much of that was Urdina and how much of it was Artigas. He will definitely miss having her talents around, but... managing non-lawful adventurers requires a light touch.
He nods. "How you slot yourself into their patrol schedule is up to you and Artigas, as long as you're available to do at least one a day. You are not, by the loan agreement, obligated to provide any specific kinds of aid, but - please do your best to get healing out to the nearby forts. They're really struggling out here. Marit used all three of his leftover channels from our earlier engagement, and they've still got some wounded." And a lot of corpses. Marit is out helping them dig graves.
Rowen hands her a bag. "And your things from the garrison and the paper you requested, yes." She takes it from him, still smiling that serene smile of hers that he knows means she knows what he's thinking and is waiting for him to ask.
He gives her a Look. "Ok. I give up. What happened with Artigas."
She lets herself laugh. "Ah, an excellent question, sir!"
More seriously, she continues: "So - from a factual perspective, what happened is I arranged to spend some time with him, initially with the intention of following up on my attempts to figure out why #11 is... different from the other forts I've been at, and during that time concluded there was a decent chance he was Lawful Neutral? And then - when the assault finished, I was totally out of song, and there were so many wounded, and so... I convinced him to try praying to Iomedae, and She chose him."
She smiles, a bit self-consciously. "I'm sure Demonscourge has been coming up with creative explanations for what happened, but I really don't think I did anything beyond... asking him to try."
He thinks about this for a while before answering. "Well. I suppose it doesn't take much time being stationed at the Worldwound to notice that keeping it contained is the rare thing that Asmodeus and Iomedae agree is important, even important enough to work together on. I just... would not have thought it was possible to be Lawful Neutral while commanding a Chelish Worldwound fort."
He holds up his hands placatingly. "I'm not going to tell you what to do when you're off-duty." Because you wouldn't listen. "Just... be careful." He knows she knows all the reasons why it'd be a bad idea to get involved with the man, Iomedae's endorsement or no. (They've both heard the horror stories of the Mendevian inquisition in Kenabres.)
He's reading the handbook like he's one-in-a-million among Chelish people for latent Iomedaeanism.
"So, if I adopt this I'm going to have to execute people for rape, which I'm lawfully entitled to implement if I wish but which will predictably have the consequence of me executing some people, and perhaps that's what it would take to have anyone take this seriously but it would at least have less fallout if I dismissed the camp followers. This does not, as you suggested, really help those camp followers, but it'd reduce the incidence occurring under this regime to only those men who go for the cooks or something, so the Wound as a whole would be bleeding less manpower and fewer people would go to Hell so soon after the regime change."
She's quiet for a minute, obviously thinking about it.
"Could you castrate for rape, instead of executing?" she says eventually. "I vaguely remember hearing about one of the smaller River Kingdoms doing that at least in some cases, and I do think people would take it seriously..."
"I don't know anyone who has tried this so I can't ask but I would really expect it to affect fighting ability? For the same reason there are more men who make for good soldiers than women who do. It wouldn't surprise me too much to hear of a single individual eunuch who was good with a weapon. It might be worth someone doing the experiment but we're having enough of a wobble in the supply reliability with so many of the wizards disappearing already that I should not be spending rations on experiments."
It really does all come back to holding the Wound, for him. She couldn't live like that, and sometimes it chafes against things she cares about, but - she really does respect it. As a thing to devote your life to, it's hard to imagine a better one.
She nods, and tries not to think too hard about the camp followers, and the soldiers who'll get executed to make an example.
Scribe, scribe, scribe the Acts of Iomedae...
According to the Lastwall handbook there is a list of orders you are not supposed to obey and are in fact positively obliged to refuse. It says "up to and including from the Goddess Herself". To swear or break oaths; to commit crimes; to exceed the boundaries of the purpose of the command relationship in several ways -
This is unsurprising from what she knows of Iomdaeans - as she told him earlier, they are very serious about abuse of power and authority, and this goes hand-in-hand with that. But - it's very surprising to him, because - because of course Asmodean Law is all about abuse of authority, it matches the dogma and she can see the echoes of it in how so many of them have such a mixture of hatred and fear and jealousy for their superiors.
With her voice and face softer than Blai has ever seen it, she says "It's... a really important part of Law, isn't it. And - it's horrible, that Asmodeus hides it from everyone under Him, because what He cares about isn't just Law, it's... tyranny. Submission."
She's carefully avoiding expressing any pity, but. augh. She really wishes she could hug him.
"Having that is certainly better than the alternative, but... it doesn't really get at the core of what these rules are for, right?" She gestures at the page. "These are about... putting limits on what Lawful commands are, in every circumstance. Iomedae Herself is not allowed to order Her people to break an oath, and She makes sure they all know that."
She doesn't bother making the obvious comparison. She doesn't need to. (She's controlling her facial expressions, tone of voice, and breathing very carefully. Venn doesn't get angry all that often and doesn't particularly enjoy it, but she's so viscerally upset with Asmodeus, right now.)
Ah. "Because... you're trying to making sense of something really important and really upsetting. And... most humans find physical contact comforting, even most humans from cultures that were structured to prevent them from getting that comfort. And I would like to comfort you."
Well it doesn't seem complicated exactly?? Probably?? He will... attempt... this... he can't exactly mirror her because her arms have gone under his arms because he's taller than her but it's not that difficult to adapt - his arms cannot occupy the same space at the same time so he has to come to some decision about which one goes over the other one but that is probably either not important in the first place or adequately covered by the skill component disclaimer?? - gently, she's a squishy caster - hug.
Why is she thanking him. The ostensible point of this exercise was for - no, she said she liked hugs, it's not impossible that there was a double purpose here - which leaves the question of whether he says "thank you" also or instead "you're welcome" because both sounds deranged -
"Thank you," he decides upon.
He's settled back into handbook reading. He completes his first pass and then goes through it again, skipping around, taking notes.
"I think I'm going to dismiss the whores," he says. "If it helps I don't think the other forts will keep them - or might dismiss ones they already have for the new ones, but I don't think the total number of Chelish-fort-installed whores will remain as it is, they or a comparable number of them will probably all make it to Kenabres."
Somebody else says, "If the Worldwound was in the desert then when the cleric thing happened we'd have all died."
"That's true, that's true," says another guy, though it's hard to hear through the wind and against the sound-muting snowdrifts. "Guess if I get three wishes for my - if I get wishes I won't wish snow didn't exist."
A gust of wind kicks up a lot of the new powder and it's impossible to hear the reply from the front of the line.
They're not moving very fast either, since the guy in front has to clear a path for them - a path which is half fallen in from the sides by the time Venn, and Blai bringing up the rear, get to it, though it's still better than nothing. Any signs of passage from the last patrol have been quite obscured by now.
Txell is right that it'd be hard to spot a demon in all this! At least wizards and clerics both can get Detect Fiendish Presence as a cantrip, so they won't literally bump into one, but it's depressingly possible they might pass right by a stunned schir or something just out of range of the spell.
...the swirling patterns of snow in the wind are almost hypnotic.
Venn is busy mentally composing something for her lyre that evokes the feeling of moving through a blizzard when a gust of wind hits her from the side.
She stumbles, the weight of her pack and coat catching her off-guard, and then falls forward, disappearing into the snow.
"We start by just making a big pile of snow but we could in this mess lose each other even working on the same pile so we need to be tied together." He has rope for this! Once around his waist and once around hers and enough slack to move. "If you have cheap arrows they'll be useful as depth marks for the hollowing step."
It's hard to see him even in his high-visibility black and red and just a few feet away, but he's piling up the snow and mixing packed bottom layers with the new powder and patting it down as a quick sintering hack and so on until they've got a big enough heap and then the snapped arrows go in, here and here and here, and then they can start digging out the inside.
Eventually it's excavated and there's a ventilation hole at the top - "we can't both sleep at the same time, if it turns out to last that long, because if this seals we won't be able to breathe" - and they can get inside, his holy symbol lit up. There's not enough room to stand but they can both get in there - albeit without any personal space to speak of - and sit, or even lie down, it's long enough for that in one direction. He smooths out the interior walls to direct the melt; he Creates a little mist, because Created water always comes out at liquid temperature even if you cast it in a blizzard, to speed up the process of turning their shelter into hardened ice.
"It can happen to anyone. This sort of thing is why we learn to build quinzees. ...my coat is on over my armor, which may interfere with some of the qualities of a hug, not to mention if they can be performed lying down you didn't mention, but you can come closer so we can warm each other up anyway."
She nods, her head brushing against his outer layers. "-the secret thing was a joke, yes."
Hmmm. How to put it.... "I think it's just very... unobtrusive? Every joke I've heard you tell was also a true statement, and your delivery is pretty deadpan. It doesn't surprise me that people mostly don't pick up on it."
Blai would wonder why this is happening except actually he can reconstruct the entire sequence of events pretty darn well so there is no question to go with the question mark. "It would be difficult to adapt to since so many of them are things I would also say for other reasons."
"You would have to simply fail to notice that they could be interpreted humorously." (It's hard to get a read on how he feels about this in this circumstance beyond 'not obviously uncomfortable', which is not a gold standard for snuggling with the fort commander you're on loan to but she is cold and also she likes him a lot, okay,)
She nods absentmindedly, some part of her brain chasing down that last train of thought before it can get away.
(...No. Come on, Venn. Don't make excuses like that. Use your words.)
"...So, I usually rely on body language to figure out if people are comfortable with current amounts of hugging and snuggling and such, and I am pretty good at that, but it is actually hard to tell through your armor," she says lightly. "So - if you have opinions or questions I am happy to hear them and make adjustments."
And a good thing about the armor too but he should not think that too loudly or she will notice because apparently she is the kind of adventurer who can cast Detect Thoughts as an extraordinary ability.
There isn't a lot of room in a quinzee and she was shivering. This is true and also if you say that out loud to the kind of adventurer who can cast Detect Thoughts as an extraordinary ability it will be a really obvious deflection because that is NOT what she is probing about.
Isn't reading his mind really unpleasant. It has not exactly calmed down in there since he was twelve.
He has to say SOMETHING.
"Noted."
She sighs. "I - look, I know I'm obnoxiously good at this when I try, even if I'm not doing anything so precise as reading your mind. You're allowed to ask me to not try, if the alternative is me learning things you would rather I don't. I wouldn't want to do that to you."
She looks up at him seriously. "But please know: the things I do get, when I read you? They're certainly not unpleasant." Quite the opposite, actually, she doesn't quite say, but she isn't saying it pretty loudly.
Shrug. "I admit that it is possible I would have found your body language at twelve a bit much? But I read people because I want to get to know them better, and I do think that affords different and healthier perspectives than someone who has to regularly to screen through the thoughts of young people in bulk."
She looks at him curiously. "Do you find your own thoughts unpleasant?" She doesn't get that impression from him, but sometimes it can be hard to tell.
... oh, he's so overwhelmed.
She stops squeezing him. Doesn't let go of him just yet.
"So," she says with a lightness she doesn't entirely feel, "I'm all warmed up now, thank you. And while I have enjoyed this and would be happy to do it again if you decide that that's something you might want, it's not something we'd be doing at this time if I hadn't been freezing, and I think that means we should stop now."
She waits for him to process this before she starts withdrawing her arms.
"Of course!" She's smiling as she dries his clothes as best she can, and hers as well.
Then she curls up on the ground and... falling asleep alone is hard for her, but she's not really alone here, is she?
Soon she's out like a light, breathing softly, a gentle smile still on her face.
Blai can Prestidigitate too, of course, though he has to be quite careful about it in his armor, and he makes a long brush-shaped thing to poke snow out of the ventilation hole in the ceiling, and... he makes some chess pieces to fiddle with while he attempts to think.
She's really pretty.
The thing is most men make it pretty obvious in the way they move through the world, through groups of other people, that they think of women as having particular characteristics which men don't have that are potentially relevant to their interests. Most of the rest, who don't do that, are not doing that because they instead think men have particular characteristics that are potentially relevant to their interests. Blai's impression has always been that if you find something relevant in this way you cannot possibly miss it, and he is not (apropos of the recent discussion on alternatives to dismissing the whores) a eunuch but he is still not generally going about his life finding anyone relevant to his interests except in a very distantly removed way. Distantly removed like how dragons exist, and people tell stories about fighting dragons far more often than they actually see them let alone actually fight them, and Blai is not personally very interested in the genre either to tell himself or to hang around listening to but he has still received some peripheral exposure, and if he had some reason to call to mind an example of a dragon he could think of one that was most likely made up but would sort of hang together long enough for whatever purpose it was needed for, though where the analogy breaks down is that he never really has a reason to call to mind an example of a dragon and he does occasionally have a reason to call to mind an example of a woman, but like, not like that, not like everyone else where this affects things that you could notice.
This example is sleeping right there and she was snuggled up to him and she was happy about it (or else she can cast Glibness as an extraordinary ability and has really bewildering motives, or else he's just incredibly fucking stupid, and on consideration that last one is the likeliest), and he's not having an operational constraint about it, he's coping, but he's not sure exactly what operation he is conducting thus unconstrainedly. Besides watching her sleep. Should he not watch her? It's not like it's unusual for people to sleep in the same room, he's only ceased to kip in a barracks room with a dozen since his promotion to commander, but usually most of them are asleep at the same time - maybe this is more like keeping watch, but there is no direction to watch, they're enclosed almost completely. Keeping... vigil. So that they don't suffocate, and so that if a demon bursts in they're not both simultaneously asleep for it. That's his operation and he's doing it and it is leaving a lot of room for stupid thoughts that don't matter.
He brushes more snow out of the ventilation hole. It's still loud and white out there, not time to see if they can dig out.
How far can he advance a chess game against himself without allowing any pieces at all to fall into jeopardy, and if he makes the board that crowded and that developed how quickly does it dissolve into total carnage the instant one side is forced to destabilize the arrangement?
Realistically there is no operation here besides the basic normal Worldwound protocols like "survive via quinzee" and "patrol" and "do healing, albeit substantially later than would have been ideal, but weather happens" and stuff like that. He is having a new and exciting form of brain problem but he doesn't need to do anything about it. It might have been a mistake to hug her? The first time, not in the quinzee, it was indicated for practical reasons in the quinzee, but the first time he clearly did not actually need to do that. Except that she... said "thank you" afterwards... which has the aura of a very significant fact, even though foreigners say that a lot and even though they aren't being sarcastic about it that doesn't make it important. Do bards need hugs like wizards need sleep or something. He hasn't met very many bards. Would she tell him if she needed hugs? Would she have another way to get them, if she did? This smells like a stupid train of thought but like what if she in fact Needs Hugs and can't get them from Guiu or somebody.
What if she doesn't need hugs. What does that leave, as possibilities. She hugs people recreationally? This is not disconfirmed by anything he knows up to and including his deeply confused but overall positive personal impression of the experience, which - oh, that would also make sense if she just knows that people like hugs and thought it was pretty likely that Blai was an example of a person and was being Good about it. He's not very good at being Good so he does not automatically think along those lines but if you do happen to have this hug related information and want to go around spreading pleasantness it's very cheap.
Though he hasn't seen her hug anyone else. ...though no one has seen her hug him, so maybe that means it's - are hugs a sex act and thus traditionally conducted in privacy - no he's pretty sure that isn't right - maybe she is embarrassed, he certainly is if he contemplates adding any witnesses to the situation. About... what. ...yeah that's pretty opaque, he's not sure what he's embarrassed about let alone what she would be. He could be embarrassed about being locally incompetent but that doesn't seem like the right answer and definitely does not extend to Venn.
She's pretty and that's scary.
Why, apart from the fact that everything is scary, is that thing scary.
If he doesn't ever in his life do anything about it and nobody can tell then it's not disproportionately scary. There are lots of things in the world that he - wants - and doesn't do anything about whenever it would conflict with his duties, and that's fine. He wants food that's not Worldwound stew and he doesn't even take leave about it, he takes leave less than most officers do, it's been a few years now. He wants to play chess, and he's going to give up Punishment Chess because it's not in the handbook and does not anticipate putting it back even when Venn leaves and nobody wants to join him. He... is out of examples, so maybe "lots" is the wrong word, but those will do.
Pie and chess don't give a shit if he has them or not, if he wants them or not, they have no opinions at all. That's the difference.
Even if he is being completely delusional about whether Venn has an - encouraging - opinion - about - categories of things that include hugs - wow his brain does not want to put words here and would really rather make him wander through mist made of nice intuitive screaming - anyway even if it's not an encouraging opinion it's some opinion. The opinion might be "ew, you're delusional"! It might even be "meh"! That's still an opinion and it's terrifying!
Also he has to aspire to Good now and he is pretty undercatechized. The handbook has rules about intra-chain-of-command carryings-on ("don't") but she's not in his chain of command. So -
He brushes more snow out of the vent.
He pulls the Acts out of his bag. It is probably mostly not about this and he will wind up learning unrelated facts. That's fine. Most of the world is not about this. He will serve.
She shifts a few more times as she sleeps, and then her eyes open. (She tries to get a read on his body language. He didn't ask her not to, even after she told him she thought it would be a reasonable request to make. She should probably double check that one at some point, but it would be weird to do it now.)
She obviously did the right thing earlier and she'd do it again but she misses having his arms around her and wishes she knew if it were likely to happen again.
She yawns, this being an easy way to signal that she's awake without actively interrupting his reading should he not want that.
Venn thinks. She would in theory think about something besides ✨Select Blai Artigas✨ (oh she is down bad, huh, okay,) but he's right here and very salient and she has useful thoughts about him she can think in addition to lots of NOT VERY USEFUL THOUGHTS
Okay. Let's review.
He didn't seem to be acting like her falling into the snow was a major problem, though she is only guessing that his main response is "this is inconvenient for our ability to effectively provide aid" and not an indication that she specifically made a major error. That's a relief.
She maybe could have asked about body warmth sharing instead of being cold and pathetic at him - that might have been better for him? In her defense, being that cold makes it harder for her to be proactive, and she would have been fine on her own after a while, just... kinda miserable for a few hours. (In her prosecution, if something had happened during those few hours, she would have been less functional for it, and she ignored the cold getting worse for longer than was smart. In particular she should have taken the time to prestidigitate her inner layers dry once they got into the quinzee. Maybe she could have also done jumping jacks or something.) (But if she had done that, she wouldn't have gotten to cuddle with him)
...she probably should just not have been affectionate while cuddling him. They were doing that for warmth. She is glad she made herself verbally check in with him about his discomfort levels, that made it much less bad, but - a better alternative would have been to Just Not. The positive signals she got while hugging before were a clue, and there have been other clues, but - she should not just be going off clues! Her two guesses are "he's like, really repressed, on account of his toxic cultural upbringing" and "He's Just Not Into You", and if it's the first one what she did was an escalation that would likely be overwhelming (and, guess what, he sure was overwhelmed!) and if second one she's stringing herself along and wronging him!
Okay. What else.
She doesn't regret bringing up the body language thing. She's glad she reiterated that it would be perfectly fine for him to want her to stop doing it, though she might want to ask again later. And she's not sure if she really got across what she meant about the mindreading thing, but - it was important to her to try. (what kind of person says that, to a twelve year old, what a thoughtless and cruel yes yes Cheliax under the old regime was horrible, in the grand scheme of things he's probably had much worse happen to him and done worse himself)
What else...
...Not promising. She really hopes the others are okay. ...If it lasts all night, Blai (first name basis, I see, some part of her remarks. She ignores it.) can get Endure Elements for both of them and Txell can cover the others, so they won't freeze to death, at least.
She's getting hungry. She pulls some dried rations out of her pack and snacks.
Venn shrugs awkwardly. "I take naps, when I need to, to keep it from being bad, but... the conditions under which I reliably sleep well are non-trivial to arrange at the Worldwound, which was something I knew would be true when I came here." She pauses for a bit. "...I can explain if you're curious, but it seems like something that'd be very culturally unusual?"
She sighs. "I really don't think it's a pressing problem, I've been up here for almost a year, I really can fill the gaps with naps as needed, I have a lot of practice with that. ...it's not just a thing up here, it just tends to come up more because..."
She wants to tell him. She doesn't want him to feel pressured by the knowledge. She doesn't think he'll feel pressured by the knowledge, he seems genuinely concerned, and, and - she's taking too long -
"...because it's harder to find people to cuddle with, up here." She looks away.
Venn is very good at controlling her facial expressions, which is great, because she has a lot of feelings about his tone of voice there and is delighted to be keeping all of them neatly tucked away in a box!
"Hugs in general are very nice and I am happy when they are a part of my life. Having somebody I like and trust either in my bed with me or close nearby is the only way I've found to reliably sleep through the night, though as I said before I handle it fine with naps." She's putting a fair bit of effort into keeping her voice steady as she says this.
She gives him an amused look. "The standard solution, as I understand it, is to settle down and get married, which has not as of yet been a choice I have found myself wanting to make. Failing that, I take naps, and occasionally get involved with people I meet, if the chance comes up, but the naps do work fine. ...I appreciate the concern, though."
"...Oh," she says softly. That plausibly explains his initial concern.
It notably does not explain whatever the thing she just said made him think, she's not blind, but... pointing that pretty clearly crosses her line for using his body language against him, so she won't. (She's so curious, but - either he'll trust her enough to explain, at some point, or he won't.)
"...it really isn't anything that bad. It often takes me a while to fall asleep, and I often wake up in the middle of the night and need to repeat the process. It's annoying, not torture."
What. Is he - that's both heart-meltingly considerate and would be extremely inconvenient for her usual schedule, her ability to heal other people...
Headtilt. "...in the spirit of engaging in mutual problem-solving, I will mention that I have on occasion slept in a bed with someone I was close to but not romantically involved with, and it worked fine. If that doesn't sound too fraught to you."
She raises an eyebrow. "Uh. I don't exactly know how to answer that without more info? But from my perspective it seems like the fraughtness would mostly be impacting you," (because it's not like she's going to catch feelings harder, at this point), "at which point you'd be the judge of that, not me."
She shakes her head (and does NOT laugh, because he genuinely doesn't know what she's trying to say) "The category of things I am worried about is: you might find it burdensome or unpleasant, you might prefer to not have someone in your bed with you, you might prefer to only have someone in your bed with you if you were having some kind of romantic relationship with them... Are you interested in romantic relationships at all, I'm usually a good judge of this but genuinely cannot tell with you..."
"That's okay, it is often a hard thing to talk about." - she wants to give him a hug but this does not quite seem like the right circumstance to offer this. (She wants a hug but this is definitely not the right circumstance to request this) - "...I can try and guess what you were getting at with that if that would be easier?"
Okay. Um. Where to start. Her head won't stop buzzing. "Plenty of people are unwilling to enter a romantic relationship with someone who has in the past been romantically involved with and/or had sex with other people - well, no, that probably isn't it, we've already talked about - " Smooth, Venn.
"Uh - if we entered a romantic relationship the default assumptions I am used to would be that neither of us would have sex with nor kiss nor be otherwise intimate with other people for as long as we were still in such a relationship and I would be fine with that, if that's the concern?"
She tilts her head. "I'm not... super familiar with specific rules beyond the ones about relationships inside of a chain of command? ...I could write Marit about it, mail to the garrison doesn't take too long."
She will NEVER LIVE IT DOWN if he tells the others but it's even odds that he won't, and she knows how important the rules are to Blai.
He is not used to doing things just because he wants them and he is accordingly not used to determining which things are the ones he wants and he's not sure this will improve with breaks but he's not sure it won't.
What does it mean for a hug to not mean anything. Can you just declare a hug to be gibberish by fiat. Can you understand other hugs with Comprehend Languages don't be stupid.
He holds out his arms.
She's not especially trying to read his mind, right now, because this conversation has also been pretty stressful and high stakes for her, and she really missed being held by someone who (?might?) be interested in her romantically and is perhaps just more than a little melty about it. (She sighs in deep content.)
If you have an example dragon, and it starts breathing fire at you, that is the part where you try to dive for cover, and this is the part where in this other kind of example you kiss her his brain is under orders to cut that the fuck out immediately, he was going to read the entire Acts and possibly get advice from her friend or something. He was on... this page.
...okay if she sees that look on his face another time she's going to kiss him, she's not a mind-reader but she doesn't need to be when he looks at her like that.
For now, though, she's happy to stay in his arms while he reads.
If he both has an ear for tunes and has paid attention to her repertoire, he might notice that since he opened the book, she's been humming several songs about Iomedae (most of which are from the era of the Shining Crusade, originally.)
Unfortunately he has not actually been tracking that.
The Acts are mostly epic poetry about mortal Iomedae's adventures and he can see why that would have been a useful form factor and might continue in the modern day to be so but he is impatient for dense intimidating walls of theology and it's not that.
The quick lesson is necessary and appreciated!
Dig, dig, dig through the snow towards freedom and/or allies... She will actually sing while she's doing this, both to indicate to ✨ Blai ✨ that she's fine and unbothered and so that if the others are within earshot they'll know where she is and call out (it's easier to tell that she's singing Iomedaean songs now that there's audible lyrics).
She'll flavor stew for people, including ✨Blai✨.
And she'll sing in the mess hall, even if they don't need healing, because even a mundane song can lift hearts and spirits, and if she lets herself put a bit of her magic into it every so often to bolster their courage, well - she has some going spare, and it'll be good for them. (And it makes her happy, too.)
He will receive this yes! Maybe at some point put the taste of her mouth into his food. that's probably a terrible idea???
Venn is soooo good at being professional in public spaces! She does not noticeably pay him any more or less or different kinds of attention than she did this morning.
She does catch up with Txell - how'd they fare in the snow?
One guy cut himself on a bit of ice but does not seem to have picked up a serious infection before getting it channeled off just now, they're all alive, those two are sick to death of each other and that one is sick to death of all the rest of them and everybody's sleep schedule is fucked and they had two vent holes but could maybe have used twice that many because it was stuffy as hell in their shelter, they're going to sleep here and trudge back with Venn after recombobulating. The Worldwound: It's So Fun.
She winces sympathetically. (She's glad they're okay.)
She will do her best to get some sleep here also! (Penalties - weird place, other people in the room she is not fully relaxing around because they're stressed. Bonuses - she does like Txell, and also has been so hugged today.) She sleeps alright.
Venn nods happily. "I felt a bit of something the other morning, so I think the Babau helped more. ...It'll make a big difference with my healing, one of my new spells can fuel my song-sorcery on its own for a while."
Do they need any more healing here since the channels from Commander Artigas? She's got plenty to spare.
Little bit of frostbite from the people whose quinzee collapsed but it clears right up with a song.
Blai comes in with a patrol late that night. If you have a supernatural Sense Motive he looks pretty dead on his feet from having done three patrol-legs in the snow in a single day but if you are for example asleep like a sensible person you won't know anything about it.
"I think one of them is the Heroism variant that song-sorcerers get, where it doesn't last as long, but I can tag several people with it. The other is the one I was really hoping for - it makes a musical instrument out of shadow and powers a magical song for as long as it lasts, which works even with the high-powered version of my healing song."
"Usually at least somewhat! I basically always get something I want, though on occasion it's been something I didn't know I wanted before I got it. These two are both things I was looking forward too, though, the song-sorcerer I was backup for has them and they're really useful."
"This reminds me, the next time you hear from your friends I would like to know whatever they can tell me about what nonstandard cleric spells Iomedeae grants. Or, uh, standard ones that happen to be Good-aligned, I've heard of some of those but probably not all of them. I'm not even sure what my domains are, though I think one of them is just a different subdomain of Law."
She lets herself blush at that last bit. "I know people would notice; I am fairly used to people talking about this kind of thing in my direction, and am competent to handle it. I've written up a letter to Marit, but it'll be awhile before we get a response. And, uh, we definitely don't need to take clothes off, but - I do have alter self, no children will be endangered."
She pauses to really think about it.
"...I guess I could see the kinds of attention people noticing gets us being... worse, here, than in other places where I've had to deal with that kind of thing," she says, after a little bit. "I'm usually pretty good at navigating that kind of thing, though."
She peers up at him. "What kinds of things might you expect to happen?"
She nods. "...there are definitely already people talking about that kind of thing, just based on the time we spend together with stuff like this, but - it would get a lot worse. I suppose we should... revisit the idea, after it's been longer." She tries not to look or sound too sad about it, but - it's fine to let a bit of it bleed through.
"Yeah, it - is definitely the kind of thing that would make the people who are already unhappy with the situation feel really poorly-done-by."
She sighs. "It's frustrating. We're not, in fact, planning on having sex. But despite my quite-good people skills, I almost certainly couldn't get the people who will be upset to believe that."
It is really weird that this is a thing that can happen but it happening this much is eroding his skepticism about it. It's just one of those weird things that happens sometimes anyway, he supposes, like teleport traps that send people to have adventures on other planets and gods dying and fairies doing fairy things.
"Is it possible to play chess while hugging," he says, "perhaps if we both move the pieces by Prestidigitation, though I can only do that with ones I've made myself -" If he comes up with a way to also, simultaneously, eat pie, probably something very weird will happen, so he'll just have to not do that.
The force of her burst of surprised laughter has her wriggling against him.
"I would," she says, as the sudden storm subsides in his arms, "I would be down to try it, though I cannot promise my full attention to the game."
And then she realizes that if she continues on this path she will at some point plausibly play strip chess with this man and the laughter is back, so hard she's barely able to stand, relying on him to hold her up.
It is going to take her a bit to get there, but she does eventually rally valiantly.
"Well, the first laugh was surprised happiness, because you are so delightfully yourself. I'm so happy you enjoy hugging me and I'm especially getting a lot of joy from - seeing you get used to the idea and start having ideas about - different ways to slot it into your life?" She beams up at him.
Prestidigitation. "For hugging? I would recommend it! A beautiful thing about hugs is that no two people do it exactly the same, and you also see lots of fun differences just from the shapes of the bodies involved. You couldn't rest your head on mine if I were taller than you!" But she could put his head right in her tits. "And you know, some people have scales or feathers or similar. I got a really delightful hug from a winged aasimar a few years back. She wrapped me in her wings!"
"Huh." She looks up at him with a bit of concern. "...I do really value being able to hug my friends and friendly people. Do you think that will bother you? ...to be clear, the average hug lasts only for a few moments, long hugs like the ones we've been doing are - more romantically marked."
It's really weird how sometimes Venn does things and the things are not that bizarre in the grand scheme of things and still somehow imbued with profound importance and that's one of those. He isn't sure what he's supposed to do about it. ..... he tips his king over. Which isn't about the kiss at all but is something other than just standing there frozen like an idiot.
Well, she's smiling contentedly up at him and holding him close, so presumably it's an acceptable response in her point of view.
(She could construct some grand romantic narrative about it, this being him surrendering his heart to her etc etc. But she knows he just isn't sure what to do, and that's okay.)
Tural sets himself down in a corner of the mess hall while the wizards do their important Looking Around.
His aasimar features - flowing silver hair (shining in the light of the continual flames above), striking opal eyes (complete with rainbow flecks), and faintly glittering skin - are something he's usually happy to chat about, but at the Chelish forts, they tend to be... fraught. And the people are so sad to look at. He prefers to keep to himself, here.
He pulls out his drawing supplies and continues work on his latest sketch. Some people will stare, probably, but he doubts they'll interrupt.
(- her mind flashes back to the awkward conversation she and Blai had in the quinzee about default expectations, so she has the presence of mind to -)
Grab onto his back, tuck her head past his before he can kiss her the way he's clearly expecting, and whisper rapidly "Hi Tural it's wonderful to see you and also I'm involved with someone and cannot kiss you, sorry -"
Oh! That's certainly a surprise.
"-sorry!", he whispers back, finishing the twirl he's already started and then setting her down gently. In a more normal tone, he continues. "Oh, it's so good to see you! Though - what are you doing up here, when you left Almas you said you were going to Isarn, you can't have gotten that lost -"
She gently ends the hug, heart still beating fast. "I did go to Isarn, and I'll have you know spent nine entire months there, but I ended up befriending a gnomish cleric who'd served up here for twenty years, and she managed to convince me with her stories that I needed to see it for myself..." She beams up at him. "And you - I'm guessing your wizards dragged you up here to partake in the bountiful spellbooks of Crusader's Fort? How's that been going?"
Venn's eyes actually do flick in Blai's direction, though she catches it before anyone here might notice.
"Oh, I think they just keep me around for my sunny personality," she says, smiling innocently. "it's either that or the healing, nobody's told me which yet." She glances around in a way that invites audience participation.
She ignores these antics, if you don't count the sparkling in her eyes. "Everyone, this is my friend Tural Starsong - we adventured together for a bit when we were both in Almas. He's one of those funny archers who refuse to wear armor so they can shoot more arrows, but more importantly, he has pretty hair that he's very proud of."
"Tural, these are some of my friends from Fort #11 - " she'll go through and introduce the heckling crowd one by one, with a little fact or funny tidbit for each of them.
"And this is Txell. Honestly, I haven't really figured out what she does besides make funny hand motions? Sometimes glitter or grease appears afterwards; I'm still trying to figure out if it's related or just a coincidence."
(Does Blai seem interested in joining?)
Blai is the commander of the entire fort and must not be observed to hesitate to enter a social situation and sit therein if he so chooses lest he look ridiculous, and so he is sitting with Lt. Espina at the next table over because that was something he was able to do decisively.
Blai would agree that he can't just do that if posed the question of whether you can just do that. He's got a thin remaining spiel for welcoming adventurers: "Please let me or my second-in-command First Arcane Grec know if you or your party require anything you're not getting," and then he doesn't really have more things to say in this situation. He eats his stew.
Venn gets herself a bowl of stew, and then she and Tural will trade adventuring stories from the last year and a half, in a way that makes it clear that anyone who wants to ask questions or just listen in is welcome to.
She takes a break to do her midday healing song, when the time comes.
Ahh, it really is good to see her.
Tural and his wizards ("incidentally, I know you know Fayn is an arcanist - what is even the point in keeping that joke running when he's not even here") have picked up a gnomish cleric, apparently - she's currently napping in one of the fort's guest rooms. (The ranger they used to travel with lost an arm and retired.)
Thaaat makes sense. She leans into him, a bit.
"Okay. So - people vary a lot about how much they care about or want to know this kind of thing, but - in addition to being a friend and someone I adventured with, he was someone I shared a bed with and had casual sex with, sometimes, when we were both in Almas."
She pauses to try and gauge his reaction to this.
Venn nods. "I thought that might be the case. The thing I mean is 'mutually-enjoyable sex that is not part of a romantic relationship', which is a thing I have done in the past with various people I am friendly with and find physically attractive but did not want to make substantial commitments to. And... I would not expect it to be a thing that happens very commonly in Chelish society, both because it's a very bad idea if you don't trust the other person, and because I get the impression that mutually-enjoyable sex is... rare." She's controlling her reactions pretty carefully and therefore only looks a bit sad about that.
She nods, and looks at Blai carefully. "...so, there's a lot of different things I could talk more about, but you seem a little... overwhelmed, and I'm not quite sure why. Can I ask some questions to try and narrow it down?" She wants to put an arm on his, but while he definitely enjoys the physical contact, she's pretty sure he's too unfamiliar with it to find it comforting.
Venn shifts to a sliiightly academic tone. "So... some ways someone in your position might feel would be..." she starts counting off on her fingers.
"...still confused in some way about how my friendship with Tural worked and not sure if it's acceptable to ask follow-up questions."
"...unsure and worried about what my past with Tural suggests about my current feelings for him, or about his for me."
"...finding it unpleasant to think about sex in general, for any number of reasons."
"...finding it unpleasant to think about or interact with a specific person who I've had sex with."
And she watches his reactions to each of these very carefully.
It's not unheard of in Cheliax for people to be something you'd round to 'friends' and also having sex. If he just sort of smashes together his understandings of what the most... for some reason the term he's got is "low-investment", where if an arrangement were instead "high-investment" they'd instead be putting lots of effort into getting the upper hand and the thing he's describing is that they're instead both just showing up?... the most low-investment regular hookup arrangements he knows of between gay people, who do not have the prospect of marriage or the possibility of pregnancy automatically forming a built-in upper hand they have to counteract or lean into... with the fact that Venn knows Alter Self and Tural is a man... then that all comes to a picture about as comprehensibly as anything foreign does. He is definitely unsure if it's all right to ask follow-up questions what with how this entire thing is traditionally private. With lots of exceptions, people will laugh and tell sex stories in various contexts, but since Blai has never wanted to do that he has not studied exactly which contexts, let alone whether any of this gossip was Evil.
That's when they're still both showing up, though, it gets - ugly - when somebody stops showing up, how did that work - huggily, apparently, in this case, but like how. What sort of graceful conduct will be expected of Blai when she leaves he does not need this information because they're not even kissing really, obviously what will be expected of him is that he simply not have an outsized response to the completely normal state of No Longer Routinely Hugging A Visiting Bard, a state he spent almost his entire life in.
He kind of does not want her to ask about that one time in seminary but it does get more conspicuous every time she could and doesn't that she could and hasn't. The less things are like that one time in seminary the less unpleasant they are to think about but it is not untrue that the category "sex" includes exclusively things that are at least a little bit like it.
...it's not that it is necessarily inherently unpleasant for Tural to, like, exist. She did already mention that she has had sex with people before and, like, sure, there's one of them, any group of people implies some individual people existing, the implications would be way weirder and worse if somehow everyone she'd ever slept with was instead dead so it's not outrageous for one to pop up alive. He just does not have a model of how he should relate to Tural besides, like. Treaty obligations. He doesn't know what Tural knows. He doesn't know what there even is for Tural to know, sort of, he can rehearse the events but doesn't know what they add up to besides "not that, you lunatic".
Hmmm.
From his small head and facial movements, she's getting the impression that he thinks he has a decent model of casual sex as it applies here, but definitely isn't sure if asking questions is okay, which is straightforward to address.
He - was thinking something and then ran into a mental wall, based on the way he stopped, only for a tiny amount but all at once. (Blai doesn't really have the social mannerisms of an anxious person, but his body language and the quinzee conversion about his thoughts suggests to her that he just keeps a good lid on it. Outside of chess, it's rare for him to be totally still.) This doesn't actually help her figure out where he got stuck, but it's info to file away.
The way he averts his eyes for a fraction of a moment and clenches his jaw very slightly - is identical, actually, to how he reacted when he mentioned one time in seminary, which, she has had the time to think about and draw the unfortunately-likely conclusion. The way he looks at her after makes it clear that he isn't sure why she hasn't asked - she should probably clear that up.
From the mildly furrowed brow and his hand and arm movements the main thing she's getting about how he feels about Tural is a lot of uncertainty (which for him is somewhat unpleasant).
Venn catches that. She does not sigh. (It - makes sense, right, it's part and parcel with the things about Blai that had him going from Chosen to Select in ten days, the law and the law puzzles, how much he'd wanted the Acts and Lastwall's handbook - it's much easier for him when he has rules, tools, a framework for making decisions.)
And he doesn't have a framework for "when is it Correct to talk to someone about my trauma", and she doesn't know how to give him one, because her brain doesn't work like that.
But... she can give him something, at least. "If you don't want to make that decision, I can just - pay attention, and if I'm ever pretty sure it'd be good for you, ask you then?" She pauses. "...I will at least need you to indicate to me in some way that you'd prefer that to deciding for yourself, even if it's just a slight nod of your head."
She smiles warmly at him. "Thank you." What next... probably the casual sex stuff.
"You can ask me any question you'd like about casual sex, including my personal experiences, even stuff you wouldn't normally ask someone because it'd be rude or inappropriate." she says lightly. "There's some stuff I won't tell you because it's not mine to tell, or because I might not be comfortable talking about it right now, but I don't expect that last one to come up very much, and I won't be bothered that you asked. ...It's useful for me, even if I can't necessarily give you answers, to know what you're wondering about."
"Some definitely would, and that's what I meant about questions I might not answer because the answers aren't mine to tell! But I can answer a lot of questions based on commonalities of my experiences with getting into any specific instance, and there are some people I have had sex with I know well enough to be confident about what things they'd be fine with me sharing, in this context."
She nods. "Yeah. In a lot of cases - including Tural - we both knew that we wanted different things out of our lives and neither of us felt like the thing we had together was more valuable than what we'd want out of our future, so sooner or later our paths would diverge and that would be okay. That is a type of conversation I think it is wise to have before having sex with someone, so that everyone is on the same page." The fact that Venn has not, historically, been perfectly wise can come up if he asks, or much much later, if they get to the point of it being good for them both to talk about her vulnerable feelings.
She tilts her head a bit. "It's - similar in shape to my sleeping alone thing, really. My life is better in measurable ways when I have someone to share a bed with. It's also better when I'm having sex regularly. But there are things that are more important to me than either of those, and that's why I left Almas to go to Isarn and ended up here, instead of staying in Tural's party and bed."
She looks at him in concern. "...I don't know what you're thinking, but - an example of the kind of thing I mean when I say we want different things about our lives is that an important feature of the situation with Tural is that he doesn't want to settle down with someone in this lifetime unless they both like each other so much that they feel like it's mutually obvious they'll stay together in Elysium. And we did not feel anything nearly like that about each other, and even if we had, I'm not Chaotic."
She pauses, studying his reaction to that, and... oh...
"...Blai, I wouldn't have told you I was romantically interested in you if I didn't - feel strongly enough about you to want to see if the kinds of things we want out of our lives could agree with each other. I don't know if right now is the best time for that conversation, because we're still getting to know each other in a lot of ways, but - I'm not blind, I've known for a while that you wouldn't want something casual, and I wouldn't ask you for that."
"My deepest desire is that - I don't want to stay in the same place forever. There are a lots of different ways this could work, in a life I'm sharing with someone - we could travel together, we could live in one place together for some of the time and I could spend a mutually-agreed-upon amount of time travelling, but - I need to go to new places, meet new people, learn new things, trade songs and stories and laughter. I wouldn't be me, if I wasn't doing that with my life."
She takes a deep breath. "If I can find someone who is okay with that - I want to have a lifelong committed relationship with someone who I love and respect and look up to for their virtues and who feels similarly about me, even if we're very different people - and ideally we would be, even though I could be happy with a lot of people similar to myself, because I feel like some of the strongest and most beautiful partnerships I've seen were between very different people who complement each other well. Obviously the traditional form of that kind of relationship is marriage, but I don't think it matters to me if it's specifically that or not. ...I'm not strongly committed in either direction to children, I could see it being really good with the right person and setup but if it's not feasible I would be okay with that and it would certainly not be my default assumption."
(Venn is struggling to maintain eye contact, here, eyes watering up a bit. She's being pretty open with her body language, usually very tightly measured - this is important to her, and she's had this kind of conversation before, and the best way it's ever ended is with a supportive and gentle rejection.)
She wants to kiss him so badly but she isn't completely sure it's the right thing to do and she really really wants to be careful with him, so she instead squeezes him as hard as her squishy caster arms can (not very hard) "I - you really would be ok with that?" because even though he very strongly implied it and also his body language did too, it doesn't feel real -
She nods. "Before, uh, we get distracted with any more of that - I wanted to ask what you want out of your future, as you best understand it. I have some guesses" (he won't leave this fort unless Lastwall reassigns him, she's pretty sure) "but - they're just guesses, right, and they don't cover a lot of things."
"...in theory I could have put in for a reassignment to a domestic post after I'd been here for a few years but I... didn't do that... and I don't know the new regime's policies or indeed whether they have implemented any and am still presently the only permanently emplaced cleric of greater than first circle on the entire northern border. - someone close to the eastern end of our part of the line managed Gozreh, word came in earlier, and they're reassigning him two forts farther in so he can cover more, but - at any rate I do not know when if ever I will be dispensable here."
This is not an answer to her question because he doesn't have one of those.
She nods. "Presumably they'll get more clerics up here at some point, but I don't expect it to be especially soon. For now, we'll do as much as we can." (She's going the other direction than he is tonight with Txell's squad, so they can head two forts in the other direction.) Gentle smile.
(It's - an answer in that it tells her what she already suspected; he doesn't know what he wants. But he's already told her the important thing, which is that he doesn't want her to leave forever. And if it takes her a while to figure out what else he wants for him - well. The worldwound isn't going anywhere, and even if she is, she'll be back.)
She should tell him - "I know the conversation topic has moved pretty far, but - I did want to tell you that, uh, Tural wanted to kiss me, yesterday. I turned him down. I'm pretty sure he was assuming that I was still not committed to anyone." Ah, wait. "Which was, I suppose, technically true, but - I already knew I wanted to have this conversation with you."
Venn is not visibly running through a mental list of people she's slept with in the past. (This is because she has very good control of her body language.)
"I think it's pretty unlikely? I could see it happening with one or two other people if I ran into them again, and last I heard one of them had finally gone ahead with her plan to settle down in Tian Xia and find a husband there, and the other was going to take a pause from his travels and spend several years writing up a collection of histories, personal accounts, and treatises - he's an elf."
"I've only met a few!" but she'll valiantly make her save against waxing poetic about elves.
Instead, she squeezes his arm and says "I don't want to be away for more than a season at a time. If I can find a way to go to Tian Xia and back in a season, safely, then I probably will, because I do want to see it. ...I know it's not especially likely until something big changes here, but I'd love to go there together, someday." She's blushing.
"- friend," she finishes for him gently. "Her name is Sereh - her mother is from over there, came over as a kid, and Sereh's always wanted to go find the rest of her family and see if they agree with her better." Understandably so - her father and his brothers were all pretty terrible.
She leans into him, sighing happily.
He's not the first! Just the first who she likes enough to stick around for.
(It hasn't quite come up yet, and - it's hard to talk about, for her. Easier to face the times she's been hurt over the times when she's hurt people. ...She's at least self-aware enough to know that this isn't great. She's working on it.)
An arcanist named Liv that Venn fooled around with in Isarn once posited to her that kissing is best modeled as an unstable equilibrium, because you rarely keep kissing for that long - either you end up disengaging because you have other things to be doing than each other, or you stop kissing because you have better ways to be doing each other. Venn had countered that this wasn't true for the stage of a relationship where kissing was the maximally permitted escalation - you could stay there for quite a while. (Liv smugly claimed that she was still right on long enough timescales. Venn had brightly agreed and stopped kissing her until she admitted that this was a stupid fucking argument.)
(She's not saying any of this out loud to Blai. They can keep kissing (with some light arms-and-shoulders petting) until dinnertime.)
"Even though I'm soooo pretty and funny? Surely there's a treaty provision for that."
But she'll whisper into Txell's ear: "So I've been playing chess with Select Artigas in in my spare time, because I like stealing people's hobbies, and I finally beat him! With a handicap, of course, but it was still great."
She shakes her head, grinning. "Nah, some of them just make weird potions instead of getting into wizardry. I partied up with one for a month or so, once; he was definitely wizard smart and just decided to do something else with his talents, including being a walking library."
"He swore up and down that he wasn't doing magic, and he didn't have cantrips! But he'd mix up stuff that worked like spells in a bottle, just... not shelf-stable. Some of it was your usual potion stuff, but he could also do stuff I've never seen potions for... Shield, Alter Self, Identify..."
The new Gozrehn down the line got into a huge fight with his new CO after his reassignment and the general in charge of the whole Chelish Worldwound operation apparently took a leaf out of Artigas's book and reassigned him again because he's more valuable than the guy he had a fight with and might be close to channeling positive if nobody puts him in a tough spot.
Unfortunately while he's having his lunch one of the camp followers - a kitchen girl - stomps her way out of the kitchen right up to Blai and says something, voice tight, volume too low to be clearly heard from where Venn is sitting.
Blai picks up his stew bowl and accompanies the kitchen girl up the stairs to his office gravely.
...after the third, Venn excuses herself.
(It's - too hard to think about how she actually feels, with this many eyes to see. And - she'll probably be needed after, people are going to be stunned and upset and trying to make sense of it and this is happening because she's here and so the least she can do is help with the aftermath -)
"I'd assume the Zone has to wait till the morning. I guess Vallvé would know if Artigas'll have to move his patrol to do the whole shebang first thing in the morning, maybe he wouldn't bother doing that and instead'll let them stew all day and kill them after dinner? Only with the supply I think he might resent the extra fourteen bowls of stew, that's in the handbook too that he can't just not feed them."
"The men are good at keeping them in their pants, at the Lastwall forts, even when there's a gorgeous bard interested," she says, like she didn't just space out really obviously. In a hushed voice, she adds "One can only assume that Iomedae in Her wisdom has instructed them all in the proper usage of their hands."
Venn rolls her eyes and artfully changes the topic to gossip fragments from the further off fort she and Txell were at. Apparently they've got a ranger among the enlisted there and he's good enough to cast one or two first circles every day, which isn't nearly enough healing to keep a fort at combat readiness but has helped them keep people from dying. "He's not the kind with an animal friend, though," she adds, clearly vaguely disappointed about this.
Venn shakes her head immediately. "Nah. Familiars are really different. I like them just fine, but it's usually a much less interesting dynamic to me."
She's met enough casters with chatty ravens to have noticed the pattern where they get more cunning as their masters circle up, but not any more independent, and it's kind of distressing to think about what their lives must be like. Most of them can't even talk to anyone else!
"Hmmm, for me it's less about the animals specifically, and more about - how the relationship works? I was told by the least cryptic Druid I've met that there's a bit of Green magic binding them, but it mostly just lends strength to the animal. So they have a relationship that's in a lot of ways set up on the animal's terms, and whether their person understands that intellectually or intuitively it's really interesting to see how it plays out, and it's really different based on the kind of animal."
She grins. "Also, they're often big and fluffy."
...hmmm, that was definitely something, but she's not sure what, and... she is not in an especially investigative mood, right now.
Storytime takes much less mental effort, though. "I've met like four Druids, and one of them was only moderately cryptic and evasive! ...I got the sense from the others that they had already decided that trying to have real conversations with outsiders was a waste of time." She shrugs. "I spent an hour with one of them doing my best cryptic nonsense impression back at them, which was pretty fun. We would just take turns saying things like time is the loneliest wind of them all and nodding gravely while pretending not to notice the way half the pub was staring at us."
"It sucks," she says, after a while, her face still buried in him. "I knew it was probably going to happen, but I guess - I guess I was hoping after the first they'd realize you were serious and stop." She laughs hollowly. "I guess they will now - that poor woman -"
(...she's a lot less composed than usual.)
"I have to confirm everything with the Zone tomorrow but the picture I presently have is that it was not - novel behavior, except for the going about it in a pack, which they seem to have done this time so that none of them would be singled out, on the theory that I might not be willing to lose seven at one stroke. I'm not sure if she found this more objectionable or if she would have reported to me anyway. - I'm going to forbid men as a class from the kitchen wing entire for anything short of active fire or demonic attack, there's nothing we ever need to do in there except the butcher and he can work somewhere else if even one kitchen staffer even hesitates to tell me to let him in, if something in that wing comes up I'll send Farre y Puig."
"I think that's because Lastwall-trained clerics get special training for it? Which nobody here has." She leans into him more. "The basic idea is just - in rare cases, people can realize all at once that they do sincerely regret their past choices and renounce them, and this can change how they are Judged even if they don't act on it. It... almost never works, but - almost never is better than never, right, so it's still worth doing..."
"Yeah. And - I don't think 'well, you are about to be executed anyways, this is a chance to not go to Hell' is a useful frame for repentance. ...In an ideal world they would get this talk from someone who wasn't, like, having to supress how upset she felt about what they'd done. But - that's not the world we live in."
She thinks. "I'm not sure how transmissible it is - it's never fully obvious to me how much of what I do is... the kinds of idea I'm trying to get across vs the exact words I choose in response to the things I'm seeing in their reactions, right, but..." she pauses to think, breath soft against him.
"I think the general shape of what I'll say is - they have not had a lot of opportunity to make meaningful choices in their lives, and that I think they've been lied to with the goal of limiting their choices further, making them more likely to end up in Hell. But their choices do matter, and they are going to to die, today, because of a very bad choice they made and could have made differently. But it is still possible for them to make a choice that might matter, because they don't have to end up in Hell, even now. And from there try to walk them through... thinking about the ways they've harmed people, I suppose." She doesn't sound like she expects this to really land.
...awwww. "I think it can be important for some people but it's not, like, a mandatory part of the process and I don't expect it to help you." Squeeze. "But it is one of a very few actions available to someone waiting to be executed that might help them get into a mindset of 'I regret the Evils I did and if I were given more time would sincerely stop being Evil, I don't want to be Evil for reasons other than the immediately obvious one', and so it is what I was planning on recommending."
"So, the churches of Shelyn and Sarenrae have called Agathions who serve as representatives in afterlife trials, and - people wanting to not be Evil because they don't want to go to Evil afterlives generally does not count at all. People who sincerely decide, in their last moments, that if they could do it all again they really would do it differently, especially if they were not very Evil or if they had (or believed they had) very few opportunities not to be, can pass muster, but - it's rare. The Sarenrite I heard this from, Luminary Sunheart, said that they aren't allowed to say how rare, apparently, or give more details on how to do this right, because of treaties, but... I certainly don't expect it to work for any of these men, though that's no reason not to try."
"It seems to have the virtue of being a particularly - unforced and discrete - act of Evil, that it might be relatively straightforward to imagine having done without, and I'd expect doing this with someone whose harm was more diffuse to be more difficult if they were aiming to cooperate with the counseling at all - though probably they do in fact also have more diffuse harms on their record that I don't know about to remark on so perhaps that's not helpful on the whole."
"It'd really depend on whether they get enough credit for repenting of an unforced discrete act that it - covers - whatever else happens to have come up in their lives. I am not sure how overwhelming the numbers are on Chelish people going to Hell but if they were low I think we'd have seen - more, and more intense, pressure toward forcing that end. And I don't know any of the men well enough to have a good guess what their personal errors might have looked like besides this one on an apparently repeated basis."
Venn feels awkward not having anything useful to add to this but it remains the case that she does not have anything useful to add to this.
"...Did they try to discourage people from aiming for Neutral Evil? I feel like... in that position I would obviously prefer Abbadon, becoming a devil would be... one of the worst things that could possibly happen to me, really, and that's in the better range of outcomes in Hell, as I understand it."
"I think intuitive opinions on the relative desirability differ, and anyway Law as a correlate of order and obedience is desirable in the general populace by practically any large institution even if they are not specifically trying to funnel them into Lawful afterlives, and - people are tolerated in latching onto various minor heresies, like that they might see anyone they happen to be attached to again in Hell, even though this is not to my knowledge actually something Hell enables, or that they will cope particularly well with the transformation into a devil, which I wouldn't even know how to predict."
Three of the seven guys go with Venn as their spiritual counselor (since Blai chooses to interpret a refusal to pick anyone as defaulting to him).
One of them is the one who was questioned first and tried to deny everything and, under it all, is really pretty upset about having been betrayed by the other six. He can be brought around to the understanding that it might have been relatively more unpleasant to be raped by seven people all together compared to their previous sequential activities, but doesn't really get why it was a big deal in the first place or why anything had to change, this sort of thing happens to everyone and otherwise the species would die out probably.
The second one is pretty scared of Hell! He did not realize that Cecília had the power to send him to Hell! That's really weird! If she could simply not send him to Hell by deciding it was okay for him to fuck her then it seems incumbent on her to do that, and he picked Venn over Blai as a counselor in case there is girl talk Venn could undertake which could bring this about.
The third one may have chosen Venn mostly so that he could spend some of his last hours staring at boobs, but he will keep her talking as long as he can on such topics as "the commander shouldn't have sent the whores away, and he tipped Cecília albeit not regularly so she was basically one anyway" and "does it count as regretting it if it turns out he does not really like having other dudes in the room" and "if he goes to Axis can he still get sent to Hell after that or is he free to fuck people in Axis" and "does it count as regretting it if he thinks it would have been better to have turned out to be gay" and "why should he have to be Iomedaean just because Artigas is, Asmodeus at least staffed the place with more than one cleric".
Yeah she doesn't believe that but isn't expecting to change his mind and doesn't argue the point for long.
Cecília has the right to report crimes against her, the punishments for which were publicly posted and announced. Where he goes when he dies is not her responsibility. Venn will not be forwarding his request. (She doesn't rub it in, but she's very firm about this).
She notices what's going on pretty quickly with the third guy and seriously considers using Alter Self to look like a male dwarf, but decides instead to wrap her upper body in a blanket. Stabbing someone and giving them money after is still a crime. No. If he makes Axis he is not likely to go to Hell after. No. Asmodeus is currently staffing the place with zero clerics, actually, and she's pretty sure he would already be on his way to his afterlife if Iomedae hadn't stepped up because she and Txell dragged his wounded body into Artigas' second channel -
"I don't expect it to help much," she says, and then gives him a very abridged summary. "I just - don't like that I snapped at Cardona like that, I don't think someone else would have done better for him but it's still feels bad,"
(the hairpets have her squeezing herself against him, eyes closing as she calms down a bit more.)
She really wants to fall asleep in his arms but this would be maybe the worst night ever to start sleeping in his room or otherwise have rumors flying around. She'll regretfully disentangle herself before too long and do her usual song and dance flavorings at dinnertime.
Blai takes dinner in the dungeons, re-doing Cardona's spiritual counseling over stew, and then can be seen going up the stairs.
In the morning, there's a Zone of Truth. Cecília gets a turn in it too, to compensate for some of them making their saves, but these are not very Wise men; only one of them does, and all the other men and Cecília point him out confidently.
There's not a preexisting setup for swiftly beheading people because most executions were supposed to be more drawn out than that, before, but there's a butcher block and it does not have to be in the kitchens twenty-four hours a day. Blai sends Farre y Puig into the kitchen wing to borrow it and the butcher's cleaver, and he recites the relevant prayers from the back of the book, seven times, as it comes down. Venn is obviously not obliged to supervise, though she might notice Farre y Puig Prestidigitating the borrowed items clean on the way back into the kitchen with them. The condemned are all too Chelish to holler about it.
Blai can cause him and Grec to be over at that table but he could not then do much of value with the proximity, so he permits Grec to pick a spot (Grec is the "closest unoccupied seats, regardless of who's around" type), and they eat, and if Venn wants a chess game (or anything) she can come up to his office after he's gone up to it.
Venn is playing less well today, presumably on account of the happenings. She's also a bit more clingy than he's used to.
"...usually there's something useful I can do, when the problem is... people stuff," she says quietly, halfway through the first game (her attempt to trade queens fails, costing her a knight for her troubles).
"...normally I would be sad, because sometimes you try your best and the outcome sucks anyways, but..." oh.
She clings a bit more tightly. "...when the problem is demons or the weather or the strained supply situation, we're all on the same side, even if most of the people here are... different from me, in ways that I'm careful not to forget. But... this..."
She sighs and shakes her head. "Sorry, no, Lastwall's forts have discipline problems too. They look very different, but they have them. #11 is the best-disciplined Chelish fort I've ever spent time in, it's just - I don't normally stay with forts like this, right? I go, stay for a day or two with the strike team, and then leave. And this is - a part of it I hadn't thought about needing to get used to."
"Both of those things, and also - if something like this happened, people would be shocked and appalled at the behavior of the perpetrators." She shrugs. "People aren't like that, here. But... it's not like they chose to be born in Cheliax and not Lastwall or Andoran, and, like you said, a lot of collective effort spent into making them worse, afterwards." She gently rubs her face against him.
"It would be... a mark of a pretty serious confusion... for anyone enlisted here to be shocked, or to - display appalledness. It could be people are quietly appalled. It's -
- we did not lose any this way here but in several of the other Chelish forts the dropped priests were killed, some or all of them, and some of the commanders let it go, even though it's obviously still murder of a fellow soldier. It was in cases like that possible for people to - coordinate with more or less accuracy, on their opinions of whatever their clerics had gotten up to, in a way that would not have been likely for anyone to coordinate with the kitchen girl, but that might just be a matter of - an obvious target, an obvious timing, the fact that no one had clearly posted on the wall that the target would be regularly executed."
Venn nods at the confusion comment. It would have surprised her a lot as well.
She thinks back to the day they first hugged. "Yeah, that's fair. ...Txell was upset" (...with me) "when you posted the rules, and it was mostly because she was worried for the enlisted women with fewer wizard circles than her. And I'm sure she wasn't the only one."
Squeeze. "Yeah. My understanding is that - wanting to right past wrongs and do better helps, outperforming your local or historical environments in terms of choosing Good or refusing Evil helps, and doing these things together for the same reason - doing better intentionally because you want to do better - helps more?"
Hmmm... "Actually, I have a friend or two I should write tonight for their thoughts on this, I can share their responses when I get them." Really, she should have done that a week ago, but - she'd been avoiding thinking about it.
"Maybe they did! Maybe it's only contagious when you explain the hobby to impressionable young bards." He doesn't need to see her face to know she's grinning - it's obvious from her voice.
She attempts to avoid ceding too much control of the center of the board, though she's not thinking of it quite like that and also has not noticed that she is giving away a pawn in the process.