Revising with Nie Huaisang has, so far, been much pleasanter than eating dinner with Nie Huaisang. The former comes with good conversation and pretty drawings, and the latter with dangerous magical items. Tomonori still doesn't know why Jiang Cheng hates him, but that's alright; the rest of Shanghai won't bother them. There's no one else there to watch or judge, either. As long as Tomonori is careful of any sneaky mals, this will be one of the most relaxing social situations he's ever been in. Nie Huaisang always draws something beautiful and wants to talk to him about all of the interesting things there are to talk about.

For once, he's not worried that he might do it wrong.

He knocks: rap-tap-tap-tap-tap.

Nie Huaisang smooths out his clothes, checks his hair, remembers he's bald, swallows the gum, and opens the door.

"Hello!"

"Hello. Thank you for inviting me to your home," he recites.

"Thank you for coming!" He looks up at Tomonori, his eyes half-lidded with the you're-the-most-fascinating-and-wonderful-person-in-the-world-and-I-adore-you facial expression. "We can sit on the bed? There's only one chair."

"Okay. I'm sorry you only have one chair."

It's genuinely inconvenient for this circumstance, but it probably doesn't cause any actual issues for him. Still, it's probably nice to say something sympathetic about it. People like to vent and have their concerns listened to. Tomonori will get on the bed and start taking out his notes.

"What should we revise first?"

He's sorry that Nie Huaisang has one chair??? Is this a message??? Does Tomonori not want to study with him on the bed after all??? Is he being rejected??? 

Nie Huaisang says, "I was thinking maybe I'd get a head start on my first class on Monday, Romantic Poetry."

"Oh! There must be so many good spells in that class! And it must teach you how to write them, too!"

Tomonori will get very close to Nie Huaisang so they can look at the drawings notes together!

"I hope it's not just love spells but other sorts of romantic spells." 

Excellent. That was not a crushing rejection. Nie Huaisang presses his leg against Tomonori's and puts his head on Tomonori's shoulder.

Sure, that’s fine. It barely registers; that’s just how Nie Huaisang is.

”What other kinds of romantic spells would there be?”

"Well, I don't know. Maybe you'd want a way to find out if a peach is particularly sweet before you give it to your lover."

“That sounds nice, if your lover likes peaches. Do you like peaches?”

Hmm…which class to focus on first? Lab seems more important; Nie Huaisang got excited enough about golden ratios on his own.

He bites his lip and looks down. "I love peaches."

“That’s nice.

So do you remember the steps from our first lab assignment? I thought we should review how we did it.”

IS HE BEING HORRIBLY REJECTED OR NOT

"We could take a break before we start on lab."

-the philosophers' salt (true salt) can be extracted from the air- a break? From revising, which is why they're here?

"Hmm? What do you want to do?"

"This," Nie Huaisang says, and kisses him.

???

Tomonori doesn't know how kissing works- is this right?- no that's bad, he's clearly missing his mouth-

Everything is very wet. Is kissing supposed to be this wet? Why does anyone do it if it's wet!

It's warm, that's nice? But everything else is distracting- like his shirt, his shirt is distracting again, usually he can ignore it but now he can't focus on anything but the texture of it against his skin-

He pulls back.

"Um."

"...did I misread everything?"

"I didn't know we were kissing friends! Is that why we came to your room?"

"...yes...? I've been draped all over you for days!"

"-oh. Okay. I didn't know."

Tomonori still isn't sure if the kiss felt good. It was...warm? And wet. Those do seem to be the dominant features in his mind, still. So maybe it wasn't good? Or maybe that is what a kiss is like if you've never done it before- he knows you're supposed to get married before kissing anyone, so maybe that makes it better.

"I don't think you misread, I'm just- I misread. I'm bad at - reading."

"Well, do you want to kiss me?"

???

?

Nie Huaisang seems to think that should be an easy question to answer but it's not, actually.

"I don't know? How can I tell?"

"You could try kissing me more and see if you like it? Or if there's something you didn't like about it you can change that?"

"Is there a spell to make it less...wet? We can try again but I think it would still be wet."

"How's this?"

Nie Huaisang is going to place very carefully closed-mouth kisses on his mouth and his cheeks and his nose and his forehead, and then say "you're very pretty."

That's- better. It still doesn't feel like kisses are supposed to, he thinks. Tomonori isn't sure if he should say that, though; Nie Huaisang is being very nice.

"Thank you. You're very pretty," he parrots. It is nice leaning into him, maybe he can do more of that.

Nie Huaisang glows when he's complimented.

Oh, okay! That's a much better way for this to go. Maybe Tomonori can just compliment Nie Huaisang and nuzzle him, that's easy.

"You draw so beautifully", and "You're so generous with your time", and "You're such a good listener" and "You have a lovely, home "room".

--okay one thing that Nie Huaisang had not realized is that being complimented by people you have a crush on is distractingly horny-making.

Tomonori should have more closed-mouth kisses on his neck and his ears, that is what Nie Huaisang thinks. And then he says, "does your objection to wetness work both ways?"

(Tomonori makes a face while thinking about how annoying human bodies are, especially while kissing, which seems like a major flaw in letting a runaway process like evolution- no, that's a distraction- kissing...)

"No..."

"Well, you could kiss my neck," he says. "In a wetter way."

He can do this. It's just kissing, not something confusing and awkward, like a conversation about kissing. Tomonori does not have much skill, but he can follow instruction; kissing Nie Huaisang's neck is within his power. He stops the compliments in order to focus on kissing.

Judging by his face and the noises he's making, Nie Huaisang seems to be getting the expected reaction from kissing.

Oh good. Maybe after this they can focus on revising for Intro to Lab.

Tomonori will continue kissing and throwing in a compliment every...two minutes? He aims for two minutes, though he doesn't have a perfect sense of time.

Something something "artistic spirit", something something "beautiful smile", something something..."distinctive-smelling room"? Tomonori will need to prepare a list for their next revision.

"--uh I really thought I would go slower than this but I've never done this before and it turns out that going slower is much much more difficult than expected can I please suck your dick."

"No thank you," he says automatically, before wondering if that's awful to say. That really does sound like a post-Scholomance sort of thing, though. "Sorry. That sounds very different than this?"

"No, it's okay, we're both guys."

"-I don't understand."

His parents always taught him to always admit he didn't understand- the only times it costs more to admit that are in the Scholomance when dealing with people who might want to make a graduation alliance, which- this isn't? He thinks? Probably Shanghai will never consider him for an alliance because he's not brave enough and doesn't have a good affinity and also Lan Zhang and Jiang Cheng don't like him. So this can't hurt his chances.

"Why does that make it different?"

"Well, if one of us was a girl, we might have babies, and that would be bad. But we're both guys so it's just fun."

"Oh. Okay. Um, do you really want to, even though it's wet and gross?"

"Yes, I really really really want to." Wow, he really thought he'd have to fake his desire more than this.

"Okay. That seems fine then."

This is- safe because they're both boys, and probably not going to ruin his life? It has that going for it.

"--uh, I think probably your attitude towards receiving a blowjob should be more enthusiastic than 'that's fine then'?"

"Oh. How did you change your attitude about it?"

...wow Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian really distorted his view of how interested people are in sex. Fucking his way to graduation is going to be harder than he thought.

"Uh, I turned twelve and then suddenly the concept of boys putting their mouth on my penis was very very interesting."

"...oh. I don't have that? Sorry?"

"You know, I am discovering that is a weirdly common condition!"

"Sorry. My parents said that it might be boys or girls that I want to- kiss, they didn't talk about putting my mouth anywhere else- but I don't find it that interesting yet."

"All the guys in my enclave have been horny for years! Except Lan Wangji, I think he's carved out of stone or something. Utterly immune to sex."

"Do you know why? I'm not horny yet either. Maybe it's the same reason. Has anyone studied it?"

"I think in Lan Wangji's case it's profound repression and sheer hatred of joy and pleasure."

"...mn."

...are nuzzles and leaning off the table now? Tomonori doesn't know how to ask that so he just waits to see what Nie Huaisang does next.

"You're really cute. --Is it okay if I touch you?"

"It's okay."

"Is it okay like 'yes, sure, Nie Huaisang, I'll agree to that gross wet thing you want because you really want it' or okay like 'yes I actually want that.'"

"From now on, I'll say 'I'm confused' if something is gross and wet and I'm not sure if I want it and I'll say 'I want that' if I think it sounds nice and good.

I want that."

Nie Huaisang has happy wiggles.

Good!!!

They can hug and nuzzle and lean and talk about making salt!

This is the best way to study!

Eventually Nie Huaisang says, "...do you want to be my boyfriend?"

"Mn."

Tomonori thinks about this. There's a lot to think about (what Lan Xichen will say, what Kyoto will think, what it will look like to get a boyfriend in the first week), except he's really not good at thinking about all that. Those are things his parents told him to worry about - enclaves and enclavers and how things look. He normally just applies those rules.

"Would that be different than what we did today?"

"I'd probably draw you pictures. And try to get you to do my homework for me. And cry on your shoulder about da-ge."

"...okay. I can think about that while we revise and then I can tell you when we're done."

He's going to do that and also sniffle a little bit on Tomonori's shoulder.

Sniffling is distracting but Tomonori will focus on revising the material from their first lab (especially because it sounds like he'll have to do twice as much work all the time, if he's Nie Huaisang's boyfriend) and the Golden Ratio class. Maybe he can make Nie Huaisang smile by talking about flower petals.

Nie Huaisang will BRAVELY SMILE THROUGH HIS TEARS OF REJECTION AND DESPAIR about the flower petals.

What are the reasons not to be Nie Huaisang's boyfriend?

Tomonori does not want to kiss anyone. Kissing is gross and wet.

Nie Huaisang will make him do all of his homework.

He will need to sit at the table with Jiang Cheng and Lan Zhan, who hate him. The former of whom may hit him with Zidian, next time.

What are the reasons to be Nie Huaisang's boyfriend?

Tomonori likes getting to see all of Shanghai's magical artifacts.

Nie Huaisang is interested in all of the same things as him.

Nie Huaisang will keep drawing things for him.

Maybe Lan Xichen will decide he is worth making part of their gradation alliance if he just spends enough time around him.

When Tomonori reaches a natural stopping point in the revision, he looks at Nie Huaisang thoughtfully.

"I want to be your boyfriend."

NO more crying! Only joyous smiles and a lapful of gleeful Nie Huaisang!

Nie Huaisang believes in the importance of incentives in boyfriend management.

Okay! Tomonori is glad that Nie Huaisang explained everything. Now they can have hugs and leaning and no one needs to cry (about boyfriend things).

"If you don't like kissing we don't have to kiss. We can be non-kissing boyfriends." Nie Huaisang is not sure that this is in fact a thing but if he says it with confidence it can be one.

"Maybe I will start to like kissing boys later. I don't know yet."

Tomonori has thought about kissing girls before but now that he's kissed someone he thinks it's better in his head.

"You don't have to! It's fine if you never like kissing."

It sounds VERY SAD, to Nie Huaisang. 

"Just as long as you don't mind me getting off thinking about you suddenly discovering you want to get your dick sucked."

"-that sounds fine. 'That sounds fine' can be between 'I'm confused' and 'I want that', for things where I'm confused but it doesn't matter if I want them, because it's not a thing about me."

He smooshes his head into Tomonori's shoulder. "I like you a lot."

(It feels very important that Tomonori feel special and good because of how much Nie Huaisang likes him.)

It's a little awkward when Tomonori has a head on his shoulder because then he can't move his shoulder. But it's nice having someone touching him.

"I like you too. I'm glad we can be boyfriends."

Nie Huaisang thinks there should be COMPLIMENTS and STUDYING and DISCUSSION OF PREHISTORIC ART.

Tomonori can work with these priorities.