"...huh," Arela says as she enters. "Isaure, can you confirm for me that that's an apple? I've never seen one in person, but I know that they're supposed to be important to teaching for some reason."

"...looks like an apple to me. Is it... going to teach us magic?"

"I'm suspicious of it," announces the prettiest person in the room.

"...same," says the pointiest.

"I'm very tempted to eat it, but I've read Earth mythology before and it sounds like a staggeringly terrible idea..."

She scans it with her omni-tool instead.

Her omni-tool thinks it's a fruit, very briefly. Then it glitches out and refuses to acknowledge the apple's existence or that it ever saw such a thing in its life.

"What does the widget say?"

"Deeply concerning things! It's actually weirder that it started by saying it was an apple and then said it didn't exist, if it was the other way 'round I'd think someone was editing the input and had a reaction time..."

Hornet hops up on the desk and stabs the apple through with her giant sewing needle.

"For fuck's sake -"

A hand catches the sewing needle in midair before point can touch peel.

"Good morning!" says the beautiful woman who just appeared out of thin air standing behind the desk. "Welcome to Magic class. My name is Loki and I'll be your teacher this session."

She lets go of Hornet and snaps her fingers. Students are summarily teleported to desks.

"This," she says, indicating the apple with a wave of her hand, "is my standard extra credit project." She picks it up, takes a bite, and puts it back down. Bite mark and all, it shimmers and transmutes to what appears to be solid gold. A twinkling haze swirls in the air around it, drawing the eye. "The first student who picks this apple up off my desk and hands it to me gets one extra credit point, to be redeemed for such amenities as special tutoring, upgrades to your residential suite, or permission to bring a townie on campus. Questions?"

"...I'm not going to insult you by implying that you don't know you're doing the wrong mythological bit, but I'd like to point it out."

"Believe me, I know exactly which mythological bit I'm doing."

Tessa, being telekinetic, attempts to lift the apple into the air and into Loki's hand.

Abject failure; the apple doesn't budge in the slightest. Loki smiles mysteriously.

Tessa shrugs and returns her attention to Loki.

Hornet raises her needle. "May I attempt to give you the apple."

"You may."

Hornet hops onto the desk and attempts apple movement.

The apple shifts slightly, but remains firmly adhered to the desk. The haze surrounding it glitters alluringly.

"...huh," Hornet says. "Well played."

Then she hops back over to her desk and sits down again.

"...so," says Ysandre. "That Loki, huh."

"Perhaps. It would certainly be fair to call me a trickster."

Arela looks thoroughly delighted by this.

"Should I be recognizing the name?" wonders Isaure.

"Not all worlds have the legend; I wouldn't worry about it. In any case, would anyone else like to try the apple before I declare the class in session?"

"Staying well away from it, thanks."

"Reasonable!"

She smiles and steps out from behind the desk to lean on the side as she surveys the class.

"So. You're here to learn magic. Best to get the basics down first. Who wants to tell me their personal definition of what magic is?"

"A means of manipulating the universe which violates the laws of physics in some way that cannot be incorporated into a unified theory."

"...you're literally telepathic. And you said your universe doesn't have magic."

"...yeah?"

"...where I'm from, magic is a pretty specific thing, but it makes sense to talk about other kinds of magic, I'm just not sure I have... well, a unified theory of what that would look like."

"Also, what do you do in a universe where the laws of physics and the laws of magic are consistent and unified?" wonders Ysandre. "I can definitely think of things I'd call magic even if the world they lived in didn't have any other laws for them to be violating."

"Yeah, I feel like there's something funky about that definition," says Pel. "Not sure I can put a spike through it, but something."

"Well, then, how might you amend it?"

"In my world, magic is the expression of the Soul into reality," Hornet volunteers. "But I don't think that generalizes."

"...the ability to affect the world in ways which do not follow physically from your actions?" Tessa tries. "Like - a computer isn't magic even though it looks like it to a preindustrial farmer because ultimately you're pressing a button that sends an electrical signal. But if you - throw a fireball - there's no way you're powering that off your caloric intake - but what if it's just that you're producing a natural signal that interacts with some magical field around you, that still feels like magic - hmm."

"Are we even all speaking the same language right now? 'What is magic' seems like a question of terminology more than theory."

"Terminology can be very important."

"...oh. You're making a point. Because I just remembered that this school also teaches chi manipulation, and there's absolutely no Goddamn way we're coming up with a unified field theory of magic that excludes that."

"You'd be surprised! I've had a few classes manage serviceable definitions. But yes: ultimately, any categorization of phenomena into 'magic' and 'not magic' is arbitrary, because the multiverse is a very big place and there is always a world you've never heard of where things work in a way you didn't expect. For the purposes of this class, here and now, the definition of magic is: a power enacted by the mind—that is, if you don't have a conscious experience, you can't do it—but not entangled with the body—that is, it is not accomplished by muscle movements or mediated by organ function, and its functions are not constrained or empowered by the state of your physical being except in the most general sense where by and large people need to be conscious in order to take actions. You may feel free to quibble with my wording, and if you come up with particularly entertaining or enlightening quibbles I might even count them toward an eventual extra credit score."

Ysandre is now definitely racking her brains for things in that definition to quibble with.

Same.

"I'm intrigued by the specificity of 'not empowered by the state of your physical being' - it seems like that would preclude, hmm, some form of magical T'Ai Chi? - oh. Because that would be chi manipulation. Is that the practical difference?"

"Yes, precisely. Different worlds may have different systems in either category but, by our classification for educational purposes, chi systems are embodied and magic systems are not."

"That's rather tidy. I think I like it."

"I'm not actually sure where my soul manipulation falls on that spectrum," Hornet muses. "I was taught it in conjunction with my martial studies, and it wouldn't be nearly as effective if I weren't a capable warrior as well, but I know the general principle can be practiced in a purer form."

"Then you may very well find that both classes benefit you. Or perhaps you'll benefit more from chi classes, and someone else who practiced differently might benefit more from mine."

Nod nod nod. "We shall see."

"So - not to rush, but how is this going to work? Some of us have native magic to work with, some don't - the ones who do all have different systems - what's the lesson plan?"