The under-minister bows deeply and waits for permission to speak.

"Present Us with your report." The ceremony is important, he knows, but he does sometimes wish it could be faster.

"Your Imperial Majesty will surely recall the recent actions of the Wen clan of Qishan, whose sect leader is the current Chief Cultivator. To consolidate their power, the Wens have taken many young cultivators as hostages and have executed sect leaders who defy them." 

"Yes. Harsh measures, but sometimes those are necessary."

"Your Imperial Majesty, the Nie clan, the Jiang clan, the Jin clan, the Lan clan, and several minor sects and clans have allied and declared war on the Wen clan."

"The Lan clan is not one for radical action without necessity. Defying rightful rulers being excessively punished is harsh, admittedly. But how could they declare war if hostages had already been taken? Did they sacrifice all of them?"

"Your Imperial Majesty, many of the hostages have managed to escape or were returned to their clans by the Wen clan. Regardless, the war was believed to be necessary. The Wen clan burned down the Cloud Recesses, the home of the Lan clan. Many lives were lost, as well as many irreplaceable books and artifacts."

"It is sad to see Our subjects in conflict like this. Yes, that would bring even the Lan to war. The Nie are not a surprise. The Jiang and the Jin alone would be a challenge, and even with their losses...you do not expect this to be a quick war, do you?"

"Your Imperial Majesty, the war may be resolved more quickly than one would otherwise suppose."

"Enlighten us. Four clans, and a number of the minor ones. The Chief Cultivator is almost always the strongest, but one against many should be a challenge even for cultivators, surely."

"Your Imperial Majesty, please forgive your humble servant, for I have in my foolishness left out an important part of the report. The Wen clan would likely have defeated the other clans, as they have killed many of the experienced cultivators. The sect leader of the Jiang clan is a boy of seventeen, the sect leader of the Nie clan a youth of twenty. Fortunately, sect leader Lan Qiren survived the fall of the Cloud Recesses, but even he has lost many of his strongest cultivators."

"Do not be concerned, there is nothing to forgive. Much has clearly happened. That also helps explain why they went to war so easily: youth are easily incited to anger. A great deal has happened, clearly. After this much death, will there be problems with a lack of cultivators?"

"It is... uncertain."

"We see. But you said 'would likely have defeated'. Did something...happen?"

"...One of the Jiang clan's cultivators has invented demonic cultivation." He catches himself and says, "Your Imperial Majesty."

It is not common for His Imperial Majesty to be visibly startled. But this sounds very very bad, and he is not at all prepared. "You said that the sect leader was a boy of 17. Was the person who invented this 'demonic cultivation' even younger?"

"Your Imperial Majesty, he is-- also seventeen. Reports say that he is the son of a servant but was adopted by sect leader Jiang Fengmian before his tragic passing."

"Previous reports had noted that cultivators tended to be extremely old, as part of their quest for immortality through their cultivation. 17 is extremely young for a scholar to invent anything. What is demonic cultivation, and is it necessarily opposed to the Mandate of Heaven?"

"Ordinarily, Your Imperial Majesty, a cultivator draws all his spiritual energy from within himself-- from his golden core. The cultivator Wei Wuxian has discovered a method of harnessing the resentful energy of spirits and fierce corpses, freeing himself from the limitations faced by normal cultivators." 

"That, as described, seems positive. Harnessing the energy of fierce corpses and hostile spirits can only be good for our people. And this means that the conflict shall be over swiftly, yes?"

"I do not need to draw Your Imperial Majesty's attention to the opinions of His most experienced advisors in the field of cultivation, who state that harnessing resentful energy may lead the cultivator to cultivate resentment within himself, resulting in dangerous and unstable behavior. As You in Your wisdom have remarked, the young are already quick to anger."

"He discovered this method, though. While Our advisors are talented, it seems clear that this young man has done something new. In our observation of history, even the most learned scholars can make errors about things they have never faced. The Jiang clan has a good reputation: has the young man recommended the method to others?"

"Your Imperial Majesty, he has not."

"That concerns us moderately, but it may be a wise choice to see what impact it has on him before recommending it to others, or he decides that the choice was a poor one. With this increase in personal power, do you expect him to become Chief Cultivator?"

"The honor of the cultivators is unlikely to permit the the son of a servant to become Chief Cultivator, Your Imperial Majesty, no matter how many fierce corpses he can control. We currently expect that if the Wens lose the war Jin Guangshan of the Lanlingjin Sect will become Chief Cultivator." 

"Understanding how the cultivators balance personal power and descent is something that we are thankful to be able to rely on our ministers for. What is the expected future of this Wei Wuxian then? Teaching his Demonic Cultivation method? Serving his sect and clan? Something else?"

"Your Imperial Majesty, no one has any idea, including-- I am given to understand-- Wei Wuxian."

"Because the fate of the cultivators is hinging on the plans of a seventeen year old boy who, according to the best predictions of our most experienced advisors, is likely to be dangerous and unstable." His Imperial Highness lets out a slight modicum of displeasure.

"In addition, Your Imperial Majesty, demonic cultivation permits him to summon hundreds of fierce corpses at will and control their actions-- not merely to banish or suppress them as ordinary cultivators do. Our messengers attempted to find out more information about how he combines standard and demonic cultivation and were met with the response"-- he shuffles papers-- "'jeez, I am pretty sure my sword is around here somewhere-- shit, I left it back at the tent. Sorry.' Then he attempted to steal the forehead ribbon of a cultivator from the Lan clan."

He takes a moment to consider this. In normal circumstances, such an offense to Imperial messengers would be worthy of censure at the very least. But cultivators were cultivators. He suppressed a sigh. "Well, that seems impulsive but not necessarily hostile. There is a reason we do not prefer having the very young in positions of power." The slight reference to the man he had pushed aside to become emperor does not need to be elaborated to anyone in the garden. "Yet the cultivators have the right to select their own leaders, by ancient privilege. Do you bring recommendations?"

"With Your Imperial Majesty's permission, I have prepared several strongly worded letters to be sent in the event that the cultivators kill a non-cultivator. We have filled the granaries to relieve places where fierce corpse infestations without a cultivator to lay them to rest have reduced the harvest."

"As well-prepared as ever." One of the first lessons his mother had trained into him was that, no matter how unhappy information made you, you should never take it out on the messenger, or find yourself surrounded by fools. "Your report is appreciated and will be considered by the Court. We are aware that using ordinary soldiers against fierce corpse infestations has proven prohibitive in the past: it would be beneficial to have contingency plans in case this conflict grows."

"Your Imperial Majesty, we have sent messengers to the neutral sects and to various cultivators who have retreated to mountains or caves or similar. Your military advisors are studying the best tactics for ordinary soldiers to use against fierce corpses, should this become necessary."

"The empire is well-advised and harmoniously guided, and your work is appreciated."

Three years later--

"Your Imperial Majesty will recall the recent conclusion of the Sunshot Campaign against the Wen Clan of Qishan."

"It is always pleasing to see such regrettable conflict come to an end." He always preferred to be able to forget about the cultivators and focus on the important matters: he was sure one of his courtiers was having an affair with someone's wife, but was not yet sure who it was: since the courtier was not quite fastidious enough to escape the gaze from the throne, he anticipated conflict soon.

The Underminister looks like he is about to say "well, about that--" except that it is too impolite to say to the Emperor.

"Your Imperial Majesty, the Jin clan has enslaved the remnants of the Wen clan and set them to hard labor."

"A noble and wealthy clan, set to hard labor, in its entirety. Another attempt to crush their enemies entirely. Strength is one matter: cruelty another. It is saddening to see citizens treat each other this way." After all, if you were going to kill someone, it was truly kindest to arrange a simple dagger for them. Hard labor offered an opportunity of escape and kept them as useful hostages, but it still seemed unnecessary compared to simply imprisoning them. The Wen Clan was the previous Chief Cultivator's family! That surely meant something.

"The Wen clan includes Wen Ning, a friend of Wei Wuxian's. He objected both to the enslavement of his friend and to the enslavement of children and the elderly. He invaded the camp, killed all of the guards with fierce corpses, and took all the Wen remnants to the Burial Mounds in Yiling, the single location in China with the highest concentration of resentful energy. They are calling him the Yiling Patriarch."

"So Wen Ning presumably also uses this 'Demonic Cultivation.' Please review for the court what has been discovered about this form of cultivation since it was discovered by Wei Wuxian. From your description, it sounds likely that the Burial Mounds will make them stronger, faster."

"Your Imperial Majesty, Wen Ning did not use demonic cultivation. As far as we are aware, Wei Wuxian has taught demonic cultivation to no one. --Wei Wuxian has chosen to conceal the exact extent of his abilities, but we are aware that he can summon and control hundreds of fierce corpses. At a recent night-hunt contest, he played a single song on his flute and a third of the fierce corpses took themselves to the Jin and waited patiently until they were dealt with. And, yes, the concentration of resentful energy in the Burial Mounds should strengthen his demonic cultivation."

"It is a skilled leader who can delegate effectively, and it seems that Wei Wuxian has acquired this talent, then, if Wen Ning can use Wei Wuxian's fierce corpses. Hundreds of them. During one of these contests to put down fierce corpses, Wei Wuxian was able to exert almost perfect control over a large number with a single song. And Wei Wuxian is expected to become substantially stronger. How close is the bond between Wei Wuxian and Jin Guangshan?"

The underminister is having a very, very, very bad day. He replays the previous conversation, notices the ambiguous pronoun, and very quietly thinks fuck. 

"Yes, Wei Wuxian's skills are great indeed, and your highness is observant. Wen Ning has been termed the Ghost General by the peasants because of his apparent leadership role, and because the peasants do not understand the nature of cultivation and assume a fierce corpse at the head of an army must be leading it."

The emperor rolls smoothly with this. "Wen Ning is now a fierce corpse, you say. You said that the Jin enslaved him, and that this was the motive for Wei Wuxian's attack. Did they not put him down when he rose? Surely if he had died after being rescued he would not have come back as a fierce corpse, unless all who die at the Burial Mounds come back as such. They need strong concentrations of resentful energy, either internal or external, and it is hard to imagine that Wen Ning would harbor such after being rescued by his friend."

"Your Imperial Majesty, we believe that Wei Wuxian is capable of transforming corpses into fierce corpses at will. We have also received reports that, unlike any other fierce corpse yet recorded, Wen Ning continues to have his ordinary mind and personality."

"Wei Wuxian can...bring people back to life. With their ordinary personality: none of the side-effects expected for even cultivating resentful energy, let alone being sustained by it."

"Yes, Your Imperial Majesty. Other than looking like a fierce corpse, reports say, the Ghost General appears to be identical to Wen Ning. --Our knowledge is of course limited because he lives in the Burial Mounds which we cannot enter. Our information comes from Wen Ning and Wei Wuxian, err, going shopping."

"Going shopping? Elaborate for the court."

"Wen Ning and Wei Wuxian leave the Burial Mounds once every week or two to buy cloth and seeds and alcohol and other items they cannot produce on the Burial Mounds itself. They are usually but not always accompanied by a toddler, Wen Yuan, who clings to Wen Ning's leg without fear. Our sources suggest that Wen Ning spends a lot of time having interactions such as reminding Wei Wuxian that he is supposed to buy radishes and then Wei Wuxian complains that radishes are gross and instead he wants to plant potatoes."

"Wei Wuxian can bring the dead to life. Is it feasible to simply give him radishes, potatoes, or anything else he wants?" Wei Wuxian needs to be his personal physician.

"As far as our reports show, Wei Wuxian seems to want nothing more than alcohol, potatoes, and the survival of the remnants of the Wen clan. But the cultivators intend to war on Wei Wuxian and would resent interference in their affairs." 

"We would happily drown him in rice wine if that was what he desired." The emperor paused, to allow the court to laugh at his witticism. His consort was slow, though she laughed longest to make up for it, and she was normally so attuned to him. "If you advise that they would truly oppose such interference, even when it removed their rival, then it shall not be so, for you have served your empire ably and well, and are a learned scholar besides." He paused, savoring the moment. "To return to an earlier topic, what is the state of the relationship between Wei Wuxian and Jin Guangshan?" A touch of frost was not inappropriate: no minister should forget to answer a question asked by the Court. It gave them bad habits if they thought that they could get away with it. 

The minister is having a VERY BAD DAY, okay. 

"Wei Wuxian disrespected Jin Guangshan in front of the leaders of several different clans, and so Jin Guangshan is among the most fervent voices pushing for war."

"He disrespected the candidate for chief cultivator, in public, to the point where his former ally is now pushing for war. War against, effectively, one man aided by the remnants of a clan so weak it does not even have servants left to purchase alcohol and potatoes for its greatest military leader. In ordinary circumstances, even calling it a war would be laughable. What did he do? Perhaps equally important, is this a sign that the demonic cultivation is affecting his personality?"

"Your Imperial Majesty, he threatened to murder people until they told him where Wen Ning was. By all accounts, Wei Wuxian has been like this for his entire life, although I cannot imagine the demonic cultivation is... helping."

He resolves immediately to quietly suggest to the underminister that the prices of alcohol, radishes, and potatoes near the Burial Mound are to be kept safe from any price fluctuations, since that would almost certainly be substantially less expensive than emotional fluctuations from Wei Wuxian.

"Do we have any information about the child? Is it too much to hope that they will be a stabilizing influence?"

"Wei Wuxian dotes on the child, Your Imperial Majesty, although it is difficult to know how stabilizing the child's influence could be. If the child died, we would likely face a fierce corpse rampage."

The emperor resolves to add medicine to the list.

"How go the preparations for such an unfortunate occurrence?"

"Your Imperial Majesty, the cultivators are preparing for war against Wei Wuxian. They are concerned his ambitions will not stop at the Burial Mounds. Still, many are urging caution for fear he would... win." 

"He is, as the heavens see it, one man. Against multiple clans who are considering going to war. They are worried he could win. He is an unstable twenty year old who complains about having to buy radishes." The emperor pauses. "We trust that you will keep us well-informed as this situation develops."

He really needs to send that message.

"Yes, I shall, Your Imperial Majesty."

One year later--

"Your Imperial Majesty, your humble servant is pleased to report that there will not be a war and Wei Wuxian is dead."

"While we do not rejoice in the death of any subject, a war would have killed many more. Please, elaborate for the court what happened."

"Wei Wuxian received an invitation to the one-month party of his nephew, Jin Ling. It was the first time he left the Burial Mounds except for shopping expeditions in the past year. On the way to the party, accompanied by Wen Ning, he was challenged by another member of the Jin clan, whom he had subjected to a very painful and eventually fatal curse which could only be lifted by the death of the person responsible. Wen Ning easily killed the challenger and the accompanying army of cultivators, which included Jin Ling's father and Wei Wuxian's brother-in-law, Jin Zixuan, the current heir to the Jin clan."

The emperor waits. Laying a curse that makes killing the caster literally life-saving are about what he expects from Wei Wuxian at this point.

"Naturally, the fact that Wei Wuxian would leave the Burial Mounds and slaughter hundreds of cultivators pushed the cultivators more towards war. They began to make preparations. Wei Wuxian arrived at the site of the preparations and killed four thousand people."

And in their fear that he would slaughter hundreds, he instead slaughtered thousands. It was, he had been told, never a good day when an army was attacked in a camp as it was preparing to depart or settle down, but still, four thousand cultivators, each of whom was more than capable of handling a fierce corpse that would give a dozen soldiers pause. 

"In the chaos, Wei Wuxian killed his own sister. The-- exact details of what happened next were unclear, but reliable reports suggest that within the next few weeks he tore himself apart with his own cultivation from grief and guilt."

"So he killed four thousand cultivators and what ultimately brought him down were his own emotions. Please, if possible, inform the court on how likely it is that other cultivators who were able to use Demonic Cultivation wold be able to become similarly powerful."

"Your Imperial Majesty, by all accounts Wei Wuxian is a genius of the sort we see only once in a century. But perhaps others can imitate his work."

"It is far harder to make something new than to use what our forefathers have handed down to us. There are many reasons to prefer the methods of our ancestors. But if such a genius is seen once a century, why are there not older cultivators of similar power? Cultivators do live for centuries, after all."

"Perhaps they knew about the demonic path and chose not to cultivate it, seeing where it would bring them."

"It is believed that the demonic cultivation was why he tore himself apart?"

"Demonic cultivation is what gave him the ability, Your Imperial Majesty. But by all accounts he adored his sister, and perhaps if he had cultivated conventionally he would have killed himself in some other manner."

"Firstly, when you say that there will not be a war, is it because the atrocities inflicted upon the Wen clan do not qualify as a war without Wei Wuxian to protect them? Given the recent history, We assume that they are not being treated well.

Secondly, what is happening with the fierce corpse army of Wei Wuxian?

Thirdly, an earlier report said that Wen Ning was not in control of the fierce corpse army that he heads. How, then, did he kill an entire army of cultivators?"

"Yes, Your Majesty. All of the Wen remnants are dead. It was... less of a war and more of a slaughter. The fierce corpse army mostly transformed into regular corpses without his will to maintain them. Wen Ning can kill an entire army of cultivators single-handedly. It is believed to be a consequence of his... unique status." 

"Has Wen Ning returned to his rest with the other fierce corpses of the army?"

"Your Imperial Majesty, his body was not found."

"So someone who can kill an entire army of cultivators single-handedly, and whose entire clan was just slaughtered, is possibly wandering around, and in the worst case is just as powerful but now full of mindless rage once they again see a human. Why was this not one of the first points made? Is it less concerning than it sounds?"

"My deepest apologies, Your Imperial Majesty. In Your wisdom You have seen penetratingly to a point Your humble servant overlooked."

"Not even the greatest scholar can have understanding without information, and We would not be able to rule without the information our loyal ministers gather for us. Keep us informed of developments with Wen Ning. With Wei Wuxian and the Wen clan dead, what is the expected future of the alliance against them?"

"The alliance appears to have dissolved and clan politics have returned to their ordinary state."

"Is there anything else?"

"No, Your Imperial Majesty."

"Continue your good work, and keep particular attention on locating Wen Ning if at all possible."

Two years later--

"Your Imperial Majesty, the chief cultivator has died."

"What of?"

"Your Imperial Majesty, his heart gave out while entertaining two dozen prostitutes at once."

His eyebrow is raised very very high.

"Unfortunately, Your Imperial Majesty, due to the deaths of much of the Jin clan in the Sunshot campaign and at the hands of Wei Wuxian, the Jin clan does not have a... suitable... heir to the position of chief cultivator. It has been taken over by Jin Guangyao, Jin Guangshan's illegitimate child by a different prostitute. By all reports he is a very filial child."

"The son of a servant could not be chief cultivator, but the bastard son of a prostitute can? Cultivators have strange habits. What is known about Jin Guangyao?"

"Your Imperial Majesty, it is common although not required that the position of chief cultivator be passed from father to son. Jin Guangyao had assisted his father in his duties as chief cultivator, and consolidated his power rapidly before the Lans could object. It helped him that the other major clans are fairly weak. --Jin Guangyao is well-liked but has committed to few particular stances. He was filial and obedient to his father and heroic during the Sunshot campaign. He is sworn brothers with Lan Xichen, one of the finest cultivators in the Lan clan. He was sworn brothers with Nie Mingjue, the deceased sect leader of the Nie clan. These relationships likely improve his political position." 

"He sounds effective. We hope that he will be a wise subject of the crown, and that the atrocities of recent years are finally over." What else is there to say, really. A Chief Cultivator who is schooled in politics such that, for example, he would not be forced into the position of publicly taking abuse from a teenager or refusing the heartfelt demand of the most militarily capable person in the world (as the emperor could admit to himself, at least).

"Your Imperial Majesty, he has sent you a report."

(This is new. Chief cultivators do not, as a rule, send reports to the emperor.) 

The emperor is going to pretend that this is normal, and hope that the next one sticks with it. Reports are a form of accountability which can ultimately lead to other forms of power. If nothing else, any information about the cultivator clans would be dearly appreciated: the underminister tries his best but bribing cultivators is not exactly effective. It still rankles the emperor that he could not even offer Wei Wuxian potatoes and alcohol effectively without offending the clans. If he can get more information on their divisions and relations, that is all for the better.

"Please summarize for the court, and present us a copy."

"With your permission, Your Imperial Majesty, I will read it."

The report opens with a long list of the Emperor's titles, following scrupulously correct etiquette for a high-ranking minister submitting a report to the emperor. The next few paragraphs explain the humility of the emperor's servant, request the emperor's patience with these subjects of little import, and express deep gratitude for any attention the emperor chooses to spare for these minor matters. 

The meat of the report begins with "Your Imperial Majesty, your humble servant must beg your pardon for the offenses he has committed against you. My father was a wise and beneficent man, but even the wisest and most beneficent of men can be misled by ill-minded advisors. I regret that his kind and trusting nature has been so taken advantage of. Though in my weakness I can hardly expect to live up to my father's example, I was blessed by the Heavens when I did my routine review of the chief cultivator's offices. To my shock, I discovered that we had not been sending You the reports and censuses to which You are entitled. I must beg for Your mercy upon this unworthy man. The cultivators whose error led to this violation of Your laws have, of course, been disciplined severely and stripped of all honors, and I will follow Your guidance about what must be done with them."

The emperor is not in the slightest convinced that any of this has actually happened. That said, he appreciates the gesture, and does not want to overplay his hand or invite excessive mockery. At the same time, cementing that it would be better not to have such a mistake happen again would be best. The emperor is well-acquainted with the Court, and all this thought and composing an answer barely lasts long enough for his ministers to notice.

"Even with ministers I meet with personally errors have been known to happen. When you reply to Jin Guangyao, inform him that such punishment is adequate, and remind him that men can only be as good as the laws that bind them, and while those laws must be enforced, and we are glad to see that enforcement, something else remains. Instruct him to ask not only which men were responsible, but which rules allowed the error to go unnoticed. There, he shall find his true problem. But continue with the report."

"Due to the former inadequacy of the reports, I am concerned that the Emperor has been misled concerning certain events. Specifically, the Ghost General Wen Ning was executed by the Jin clan two years ago. I know the emperor is concerned always for the safety of His people, and I regret any dismay or worry that this mistake may have caused."

The emperor smiles. "We owe a debt to his clan for being able to defeat such a powerful foe, and one at such risk of reverting to the mentality of a fierce corpse. Include a token of our deep appreciation. Such information will calm our citizens. And include a congratulations on the old victory." It would be dangerous to build ties with the Jin clan, which would at least in the future have organized enemies who might express displeasure with the emperor, but lavish gifts to the chief cultivator, some of which were chosen based on the known preferences of Nie Mingjue, Lan Xichen, and key figures in the Jin clan, would likely be safe enough, particularly while emphasizing something that the chief cultivator had done for the emperor. He was fairly confident that the underminister would have enough information to select suitable gifts, both to target the individuals and not offend anyone.

"Your Imperial Majesty, as per Your most recent request, I have investigated the activities of the demonic cultivator Xue Yang, a guest disciple the Jin clan. His violations of our laws have far too long gone unpunished. I have arranged for his execution."

"He was the one responsible for the torture and murder of our citizens, to which we responded with the usual strongly worded missives?'

"Yes, Your Imperial Majesty. He is believed to have tortured perhaps twenty or thirty noncultivators and murdered perhaps forty or fifty, although exact body counts are difficult since the Jin clan did not communicate numbers to the ministry."

"There will be no more, and that is more than sufficient. It is assumed that demonic cultivation was a contributing factor?" The new Chief Cultivator is going to get a *large* stack of gifts suitable for distributing to his subordinates. For most powers the emperor would send fine weapons, but in this case he suspects food and rice wine may do, and perhaps even a fine chef. Potatoes and radishes.

"Yes, Your Imperial Majesty, we do believe so."

"Continue reading."

The underminister summarizes the rest of the report, which is mostly an update on the sizes, territories, and military capacities of each sect and current estimates of how many fierce corpses were laid to rest in various locations. 

The emperor will communicate that the responding gift should include paper, to indicate a continued interest in the correspondence, as well as the addresses of government officials for various territories arranged by sect, if it should prove useful. Forging deeper contacts with the cultivators would be a grand coup, and even modest efforts to bring them more fully (or at all) under the Mandate of Heaven would be a boon.

Two years later--

"Your Imperial Majesty, the chief cultivator has sent his latest quarterly report."

How strange that such an anodyne item still makes him grateful. "Please inform the court of any items of interest."

"Your Imperial Majesty, the item of the most interest is that Jin Guangyao intends to build twelve hundred watchtowers throughout China, each of which will have disciples assigned to it. They will raise an alert to local clans and rogue cultivators if suspicious activity is noticed. Jin Guangyao hopes that this will give the common people more reliable protection against fierce corpses, spirits, and other trouble of a supernatural nature."

Not to mention cementing the Jin Clan with superterritorial status and creating a visible symbol of cultivator power across the empire that the common people might look to for protection first, perhaps even against ordinary bandits once they are established enough. After all, what bandit gang could stand up to cultivators? This is a delicate matter.

"Inform him that Imperial Permission is granted to so loyal and honorable a subject, and that furthermore We are so overjoyed to see this effort that we will supply lumber, stone, and soldiers to support his efforts."

(That no permission had been asked for was, of course, something he was going to ignore.)

"Your Imperial Majesty, Jin Guangyao has stated in the report that, as a way of using their great wealth for the benefit of Your citizens, the cultivators will be able to fund the construction of the watchtowers themselves."

The emperor's smile pointedly does not grow brittle. That would be for lesser men.

"We are gratified to hear this. Include appropriate thanks for that, and offer the support of our soldiers."

"Jin Guangyao says that he understands that Your Imperial Majesty's soldiers are most needed fighting bandits, and he does not wish to burden Your army with the additional duties associated with the watchtowers. He of course offers the services of the watchtowers to Your soldiers whenever it is needed and hopes that cultivators and the military may work more closely together in the future. Perhaps cultivators could be of assistance with particularly refractory cases of treason or revolt."

Smile. Smile. This is the best chief cultivator in lifetimes, and the minor detail that this does not necessarily imply that the is the best chief cultivator for the Emperor and the Empire is something that can be managed.

"His offer of assistance is received with great warmth and thanks as We work to protect the people of the empire." In some cases the plural first person is exceptionally useful.

"Communicate to our loyal troops that if the Court sends instructions there may be cultivator aid." The "and only if" is silent.

He finds inspiration. It is a risky idea, but the heavens reward the bold. "Suggest that training exercises will be useful for the army and cultivators to work together, and ask if there is a sect with cultivators interested in understanding how the two may work together effectively. The Great General warns of the risks of not knowing oneself, and that applies not merely to the commander but to all troops under him. Some practice working together to develop a training regimen seems wise." Will Jin Guangyao waste the time of his enemies with this, and potentially allow the emperor to observe and exploit divisions? Will he attempt to take advantage of the cultivator's mystical reputation and battle-prowess to win over soldiers? The emperor looks forward to finding out: it should give him a better clue to his chief cultivator's motivations and goals. He hopes for the former: attempting to supplant the emperor is much more concerning.

"Yes, Your Imperial Majesty. I shall prepare the response right away. --The next matter is that of demonic cultivators."

"Plural?"

"Indeed, Your Imperial Majesty. Many seem to have fallen to the temptation to pursue the power Wei Wuxian had. --Jiang Cheng, the sect leader of the Jiang sect, is convinced that Wei Wuxian is still alive."

"The Jiang clan is known to be very honest. Yet it seems that Jin Guangyao is not convinced."

"Your Imperial Majesty, he is concerned that Jiang Cheng is blinded by his strong feelings about Wei Wuxian, who is after all his adoptive brother."

"That would be understandable. What is the status of the other demonic cultivators?"

"Jiang Cheng is hunting down every known or suspected demonic cultivator and killing them on suspicion of being Wei Wuxian. Jin Guangyao is inclined to encourage this behavior, given the instability of demonic cultivators and the severe consequences of Wei Wuxian possessing a human body." 

"Killing them on suspicion of being his adopted brother? Elaborate on the strong feelings involved."

"Your Imperial Majesty, I am not privy to the psychology of Sect Leader Jiang. But Wei Wuxian was taken in as a child due to the generosity of Jiang Cheng's father, betrayed his sect by rescuing the Wen remnants, and subsequently brought grave dishonor to the sect by murdering several thousand people including Jiang Cheng's sister. Strong feelings are understandable under the circumstances." 

"Indeed they are. How many known or suspected demonic cultivators have been killed by Jiang Cheng? Has there been any previous evidence that Wei Wuxian is capable of possession?"

"Your Imperial Majesty, Sect Leader Jiang has killed seven demonic cultivators so far. While Wei Wuxian has not shown any capacities to possess people, many spirits full of resentful energy are capable of possession, and this would not be the first time Wei Wuxian has shown surprising abilities."

He does not laugh. "Killing seven people, given the number of deaths attributed to Wei Wuxian personally, not even accounting for his fierce corpse army and the thankfully deceased Wen Ning, whose actions Wei Wuxian is arguably fully responsible for, seems extremely restrained."

"Indeed, Your Imperial Majesty."

Nine years later--

"Your Imperial Majesty, an emergency report from Jin Guangyao has arrived."

Well, now that it has been said in open court, calling for a private meeting may not do anything. And it had been such a lovely day as well. "Elaborate."

"Wei Wuxian is alive. The demonic cultivator Mo Xuanyu, a former guest disciple of the Jin clan, removed himself from the cycle of reincarnation in order to allow Wei Wuxian to possess his body."

"I see that the efforts of Jiang Cheng were inadequate, wise though they were. Make sure to thank Jin Guangyao for the information. Is there more?"

"The Ghost General Wen Ning has been spotted. Jin Guangyao believes that Wei Wuxian has somehow used demonic cultivation to resurrect him."

"It would be rude to recommend to him that he properly dispose of critical corpses. That Wei Wuxian could resurrect someone twice is not at all an unreasonable story. Presumably Wen Ning and Wei Wuxian are together: is the baby they once cared for accompanying them?"

"We believe Wen Yuan was killed alongside the rest of the Wen remnants, Your Imperial Majesty."

"It was suggested before that the result might be a fierce corpse rampage. Have the watchtowers noticed an uptick in fierce corpses?"

"They have not, Your Imperial Majesty. Wei Wuxian appears to have been spending the time since his resurrection hunting fierce corpses alongside a cultivator called Lan Wangji."

"Do we have any earthly or heavenly idea why?" The emperor misses the times when mysteries would have sensible answers.

"No, Your Majesty. Lan Wangji is one of the strongest cultivators, but until recent events no one would have expected something like this of him. By all reports, when he is not night-hunting, he meditates, performs exercises, plays the guqin, and practices calligraphy. He speaks little and is noted for his perfect adherence to all three thousand rules of the Lan clan."

The emperor is confused for a moment, but remembers that three thousand rules is probably a lot for someone outside the Court. "Strange indeed. Continue."

"Your Imperial Majesty, it is mysterious why Lan Wangji is working with Wei Wuxian instead of trying to kill him again, and why instead of immediately seeking his revenge Wei Wuxian chose to spend his time night-hunting and mentoring the Lan juniors."

"The Lan Clan is normally obedient and faithful, a model for all to follow. It seems almost as mysterious why they are following him, though we suppose power is important for cultivators."

"Well, Your Imperial Majesty," the underminister says judiciously, "presumably the Lan juniors did not know, and simply assumed that obeying the most respectable member of their clan would not lead them to spend time with a notorious mass murderer."

"Ah, so the mentoring situation involves less ability to flee than realized? Or have they not realized who is mentoring them? Or now that they have started, they fear returning without having gained all that they can since the stain is already afixed? Explain for the Court, please."

"Your Imperial Majesty, Wei Wuxian was pretending to be Mo Xuanyu. The Lan juniors say they were unaware, but Lan Wangji is believed to have been aware of the facts of the matter. How he was aware we do not know, nor why he decided to night-hunt with Lan Wangji. Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji hated each other when Wei Wuxian was first alive."

"And who is Mo Xuanyu? Why is it thought that Lan Wangji knew better?" The emperor is almost, at this point, used to extremely questionable and impulsive decisions from people with the power to destroy the entire empire.

"Mo Xuanyu is former demonic cultivator in the Jin clan and illegitimate child of the former chief cultivator Jin Guangshan. No one knows why he decided to summon Wei Wuxian into his body. --Lan Wangji appeared unsurprised when Wei Wuxian's identity was revealed and they both disappeared shortly afterward." 

The emperor will let pass without comment the revelation of another illegitimate child of the chief cultivator, whose behavior should be above reproach. Perhaps the cultivator clans do things differently. "Is there any information on where they are?"

"No, Your Imperial Majesty."

"Send the chief cultivator our condolences on the loss of his half-brother. How was Wei Wuxian's identity revealed?"

"He attempted to smear Jin Guangyao by claiming that Jin Guangyao had evil secrets in his secret room. Of course he did not. Then Wei Wuxian drew his sword, which had sheathed itself so that no one but Wei Wuxian could draw it, and revealed himself. Then he made Jin Guangyao's wife Qin Su kill herself and passed out. Lan Wangji took his body and flew away on his sword."

It is unfortunate that the chief cultivator has evil secrets in his secret room, whatever those are, but not terribly concerning. His own ascension did not come without a few skeletons in closets and the bottoms of rivers. "What enmity existed between Qin Su and Wei Wuxian, and how was she so powerful that killing her knocked the man who slaughtered thousands of cultivators unconscious? Does Lan Wangji's sword fly, or is Wei Wuxian's sword possessed of even more unusual powers?"

"Lan Wangji can fly on his sword, Your Imperial Majesty. We do not know why Wei Wuxian so hated Qin Su, nor why he passed out afterward. Perhaps the process of transitioning to a new body was difficult for him."

"His previous most dramatic feats have been accomplished with control over fierce corpses. Were any observed? Has the chief cultivator discussed the existence of a method to permanently banish Wei Wuxian?"

"No fierce corpses were observed at the time, Your Imperial Majesty. If the body he is currently inhabiting is killed, Wei Wuxian will die as well-- at least until someone else decides to summon him into their body."

"If Wei Wuxian develops a habit of accomplishing the summoner's goals before being killed, he is likely to be a permanent issue for the chief cultivator and his heirs unless demonic cultivation is entirely stamped out, or Wei Wuxian wins and becomes the immortal chief cultivator, drinker of alcohol, eater of potatoes, and protector of the remnants of the Wen clan." Presumably the final element of the list is one of the evil secrets in the secret room. "Did he add any new goals to the list in his most recent appearance?"

"Presumably, Your Imperial Majesty, because it is unclear how his current actions get him alcohol or potatoes and the Wen remnants are all dead and the corpses burned."

"The preparations for a resumed war between Wei Wuxian and his ally and the Chief Cultivator are already underway, we hope."

"Yes, Your Imperial Majesty. Fortunately, the years of peace have given us ample time to rebuild the granaries. Progress continues to be slow on training non-cultivator soldiers to deal with fierce corpses." 

"So, Wei Wuxian is night-hunting, likely taking the fierce corpses for his own use, alongside Lan Wangji. What is Wen Ning doing? Is it known why he did not assist Wei Wuxian in slaying Qin Su?"

"We do not know what Wen Ning is doing, Your Imperial Majesty."

This story is obviously false. Jin Guangyao almost certainly knows that the emperor knows it is false. The emperor is somewhat insulted that the lie was not even plausible, but appreciates the gesture of informing him. "In addition to the consolations for the loss of his half-brother, send Jin Guangyao our deepest condolences for the murder of his wife. Let him know that this assault is condemned by the emperor, and that it is added to the list of Wei Wuxian's crimes." Not that any man in the army would be fool enough to arrest him. "Thank him for the continued information, and of course pass on our blessing and offer of support to his efforts."

"Yes, Your Imperial Majesty. As ever, I am guided by Your wisdom."

A few months later--

"Your Imperial Majesty, Your humble servant wishes to request a private audience and Your mercy and pardon for the disorganized nature of this report." 

"The safety of our citizens is the most urgent matter, and all shall leave. Court will resume when the Heavens will it. The minister of state and the minister of the army shall present themselves outside in case they are needed." The emperor appreciates the excuse to test his courtiers: who is more concerned with speed and who is focused on following the proper courtesies to others, and he watches carefully, but soon enough the room has fallen silent, aside from a handful of his personal guard. "Approach the throne, then."

"Your Imperial Majesty, apparently literally every cultivator of any note is a cutsleeve."

"Is there some cause of this?" Enjoying lying with men, or even almost exclusively preferring it, is reasonable enough, but they are rare!

"I don't know, Your Imperial Majesty! Maybe cultivation causes it! But we have just had some very high-stakes and important cutsleeve romantic drama!"

"Almost all of the current powerful cultivators have very few siblings, right? Perhaps that is explained by strong social expectations that everyone have at least a few children. But first deliver your report."

"Chief Cultivator Jin Guangyao was killed by his lover Lan Xichen."

"In open battle?" The emperor can't imagine that Jin Guangyao would be such a poor judge of character in person as to take a lover likely to stab him in the back.

"During a sort of... uh... hostage situation slash family reunion slash romantic date?"

The emperor does not dignify that with a response other than raised eyebrows.

"--so it was recently revealed that Jin Guangshan did not, as previously believed, die from having sex with too many prostitutes. Instead, Jin Guangyao hired prostitutes to rape his father to death."

The emperor considers this. Almost certainly the evil secret in the secret room, unless there was something worse. As murder methods, it was elegant: not merely plausible deniability but absolute confidence of everyone else that it had been natural. Kinder than most, as well, certainly nicer than what he had had to do to his nephew last month. He wished he didn't have to rely on thick walls as often as he did. "An utter disgrace to the piety and obedience that a son owes his father under the rules of heaven. Is this thought to be what Wei Wuxian attacked him for?"

"Not just that, Your Imperial Majesty. Jin Guangyao also married his own half-sister-- another of Jin Guangshin's illegitimate offspring, from when he raped the wife of a loyal retainer-- and when the child turned out as products of incest do he murdered the child."

Commiseration over the pain of murdering your own child is not the sort of thing he can put in a letter, and they do not have that sort of relationship in any case, but the emperor's own burdens feel heavier for a moment. "The mother didn't take care of things?"

"She did not, Your Imperial Majesty. Her death was apparently a suicide upon the discovery that Jin Guangyao had murdered their son."

"Ah, so the entire story was faked. Resume the report." This sounds like a romance novel, but what else can he do?

"Jin Guangyao also secretly arranged for the death by qi deviation of his and Lan Xichen's shared lover Nie Mingjue. Lan Xichen... discovered this fact."

A romance novel with an obvious villain. "And did what?"

"Your Imperial Majesty, the cultivators were understandably upset about this situation. Jin Guangyao went to the Guanyin Temple he had funded, for unclear reasons, and took Lan Xichen as a hostage to ensure his own safety."

"Jin Guangyao funded many things. Is it known where his wealth came from? Why was Lan Xichen a desirable hostage?"

"As Jin Sect Leader, Jin Guangyao had access to the entire funds of the Jin, the wealthiest sect of cultivators. Lan Xichen is one of the Twin Jades, the greatest cultivators in the Lan Clan."

"I do not recall Jin Guangshin being quite so elaborate, and I doubt that any number of prostitutes cost that much money."

"Your Imperial Majesty, I understand that Jin Guangyao was more careful with the Jin finances than previous sect leaders."

"He built, fully funded, and staffed how many watchtowers and random other entire temples by being more careful with the Jin's finances?"

"The Jin are very wealthy, Your Imperial Majesty."

"And previous sect leaders very inept, apparently. Is there more?"

"Well, Your Imperial Majesty, shortly thereafter, there appeared Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji, Wen Ning the Ghost General, Nie Huaisang the leader of the Nie sect, Jiang Cheng the leader of the Jiang sect, a disgraced ex-member of the Lan who started their own sect, the corpse of the former Nie sect leader, the Jin heir Jin Ling, and Jin Ling's pet dog Fairy."

"Please, Underminister, please, tell me that the dog is not relevant?" A minor drop of the facade is well and truly justified here.

"The dog escaped, found members of the Lan Clan, and tied a piece of cloth around its head in imitation of the Lan forehead ribbon, which alerted the members that Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen were in danger. However, the situation was resolved before the Lan cultivators arrived."

His voice is measured. Even at this, the emperor of China does not scream. The bearer of the Mandate of Heaven does not yell, least of all at his subjects. "Not only are they all cutsleeves, they're all in a romance novel apparently." He does let himself sigh. "Tell me what happened."

"Well, Your Imperial Majesty, in principle they were having a hostage situation, but in practice they were... very quickly distracted by resolving assorted familial and romantic conflicts. For example, Wei Wuxian arrived at the temple to kill Jin Guangyao, and then both Lan Xichen and Jin Guangyao immediately started making fun of him for failing to notice that Lan Wangji was in love with him. Shortly thereafter, Lan Wangji arrived, and Wei Wuxian announced"-- he shuffles paper--"'I wanted the sex we had! I'll remember everything you do for me! you're great! I like you! I love you! I want you! I can't leave you! I whatever you! I want to night-hunt with you forever! I want to have sex with you! I want to have sex with only you! I want to have kinky sex with you!' At which point Lan Wangji took pity on everyone and accepted his confession of love and they spent the rest of the hostage situation cuddling."

"Wei Wuxian, the single most dangerous human in all of China, spent the rest of the hostage situation cuddling."

"They did," the Underminister clarified, "additionally engage in combat, Your Imperial Majesty. They were just also cuddling at the same time."

"They engaged in combat while cuddling." The emperor is very tired of cultivators. "Why did Jin Guangyao not kill his hostage when Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji attacked?"

"Your Imperial Majesty, he simply took them all as additional hostages, mostly because they were distracted by romantic drama. And also familial drama. Apparently Sect Leader Jiang felt that this was the appropriate moment for him to resolve his issues with Wei Wuxian over Wei Wuxian leaving the Jiang clan."

Timelines. Good linear timelines. "You said Wei Wuxian arrived, and had his romantic drama. Did he and Lan Wangji fight together before or after Sect Leader Jiang arrived?"

"It was interspersed, Your Imperial Majesty. Both Jin Guangyao and Wei Wuxian thought of the tactic of distracting the other with interpersonal conflict and then attacking them."

Very very rarely does the emperor of China wish that he could wake up as a butterfly who does not have to deal with this. "So Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji arrive, attack, are mocked by Lan Xichen and Jin Guangyao, have their romantic drama and start cuddling, keep attacking, Jiang Cheng arrives and attempts to resolve personal issues mid-combat, and Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are taken as hostages by Jin Guangyao while they are distracted, though they are permitted to continue cuddling. The same Wei Wuxian who was able to, essentially singlehandedly, wage war against every cultivator sect and clan of note."

"That is approximately correct, Your Imperial Majesty. Although I have not yet properly recounted the role of Jin Ling and the dog."

"Continue explaining, then."

The Underminister has trapped himself. 

"Well," he says judiciously, "Your Imperial Majesty, mostly Jin Ling provided additional familial conflict about the fact that the man who raised him turned out to be quite lax in his filial duties."

"We see. So Jin Ling chimes in at some point, which I suppose isn't particularly relevant, the dog runs off for help and is not able to return before Lan Xichen decides to murder his lover Jin Guangyao. What prompted that?"

"Well, Your Imperial Majesty, the fierce corpse of the Nie sect leader Nie Mingjue appeared. Nie Mingjue was the lover of both Jin Guangyao and Lan Xichen, with the mutual knowledge of all involved, before Jin Guangyao killed him. Nie Mingjue's fierce corpse apparently intended to get its revenge upon Jin Guangyao."

"With mutual knowledge? Cutsleeves do such things. But why then did Jin Guangyao kill him?"

"Your Imperial Majesty, he kicked Jin Guangyao down a flight of stairs while calling him the son of a prostitute. This seemed to happen to Jin Guangyao rather often and he took great offense at it each time."

"His lover did this. Lan Xichen was presumably aware of this treatment and did not intervene. Is this normal for cutsleeves?"

"Lan Xichen intervened to prevent Nie Mingjue from murdering Jin Guangyao, and also did not ever kick him down the stairs while calling him the son of a prostitute, a trait notably absent in most other important figures in Jin Guangyao's life."

"And then Lan Xichen murdered Jin Guangyao himself." He feels bad for his counterpart. Most exit the game by being killed, but by your lover, and to be abused by almost everyone else in your life, when you're too young to respond with credible threats, like seven or eight? "Jin Ling was raised by Jin Guangyao, then? How was he lax?"

"Your Imperial Majesty, by all accounts Lan Xichen did not intend to murder Jin Guangyao. He defended him from Nie Mingjue and seemed primarily interested in understanding Jin Guangyao's actions and convincing him to, perhaps, go in seclusion in the Cloud Recesses. Then Jin Guangyao may have attacked Nie Huaisang, and Lan Xichen killed him in Nie Huaisang's defense. With his last action, Jin Guangyao dealt with the corpse of Nie Mingjue, presumably because he did not wish the fierce corpse to continue any other revenge plans it might have."

"May have. Why the change?"

"Your Imperial Majesty, with his dying breath Jin Guangyao said that while he might have killed his father, brother, son, wife, teacher, other lover, and innumerable other people, he would never hurt Lan Xichen, such as by attempting to murder someone while Lan Xichen was defending him."

"Who in this tangled mess are you using as sources?"

"Those who were around and unconnected with the main conflict-- Nie Huaisang and certain members of the Su, Lan, and Jin clans who either were present or spoke with those present afterward."

"Presumably they had a chance to confer, first? I do not fault you for this: you have delivered a treasure-trove of detail."

"Indeed, Your Imperial Majesty, although the Su, Lan, and Jin have extraordinarily tense relationships at the moment due to these... events."

"What is the status of the Su clan in all of this?"

"The Su clan schismed from the Lan clan a few decades ago and feel angry that the Lan clan looks down upon them, so they secretly allied with the Jin in an attempt to become more prominent."

"So anything that comes from all three is likely trustworthy. What information came from Nie Huaisang alone?"

"Very little, Your Imperial Majesty; it was mostly confirmed through, for example, Lan Xichen's report to Lan Qiren, the Lan sect leader. But as a person almost entirely uninvolved in the... interpersonal... conflict yet present the entire time he was invaluable for corroboration."

"That is good to hear. And the raising of Jin Ling?"

"Jin Ling was Jin Guangyao's heir but was mostly raised by his uncle, Sect Leader Jiang Cheng, for reasons which... seem unclear to me? My sources tell me that Sect Leader Jiang is very fond of children and, quote, 'did not want his nephew to be raised by a Jin none of whom are worth the effort it takes to spit on them.' Another source told me that this was to be expected because if you leave a small child unattended around any Jiang they will immediately adopt it. I assume that there was actually some more complicated political reason but the cultivators seem quite firm on this. Regardless, Jin Ling admired Jin Guangyao greatly and was quite angry at him about causing Jin Guangshan to be raped to death and murdering Nie Mingjue."

"Why was he angry about Jin Guangyao eliminating people who had personally hurt him and insulted him?"

"The cultivators feel, Your Imperial Majesty, that murdering your sworn brother and your father is dishonorable behavior."

"Of course, of course. No son should so strike his father, nor act against a boon companion, for all that those in Jin Guangyao's life may have proved unworthy of their roles." 

"In conclusion, Your Imperial Majesty, the situation in the cultivation world is very much in flux. As Jin Guangyao has died in disgrace, it is unknown who the next Chief Cultivator will be."

"Prepare documents to help encourage the next Chief Cultivator to continue the traditions of Jin Guangyao, without suggesting that Jin Guangyao in any way originated them or was responsible for them." Perhaps something good could come out of this.

"Yes, Your Imperial Majesty, I shall. --Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian have decided to wander Your realms as rogue cultivators, defeating any fierce corpses they happen to encounter."

"If possible, try to arrange to at least put Wei Wuxian on retainer to resurrect me in exchange for unlimited potatoes and alcohol for the two of them at any fort. I am aware that the cultivators resent interference, and relying on Wei Wuxian's discretion seems unwise, but avoiding my permanent death seems strongly preferable for the stability of the empire."

"Yes, Your Imperial Majesty. I believe they are too wealthy to require any resources we can reasonably give them."

"If nothing else, offer them anything, and perhaps they will feel obligated to us. Is there anything else?"

"Your Imperial Majesty, after Jin Guangyao's death, the Jin sect needed a new leader. The current sect leader is Jin Ling."

"What is known about Jin Ling?"

"Your Imperial Majesty, he is thirteen."

The emperor does not sigh. "It has been over nine years since the events that led to the slaughter of much of the adults of the Jin clan, yes?"

"Yes, Your Imperial Majesty, but Jin Guangyao's only heir died young and people who might have posed a threat to Jin Guangyao's power had a remarkable tendency to become ill."

"Ah, of course. We imagine that the living other Sect leaders are not shining exemplars either, then?"

"The leaders of the Lan and Jiang sects-- Lan Qiren and Jiang Cheng-- are relatively experienced. Jiang Cheng is unmarried and has no heir; reports suggest he is also a cutsleeve. The Lan sect leader's heir was Lan Xichen, whom reports indicate intends to spend the rest of his life meditating in seclusion due to his grief about killing his lover, and his second heir was Lan Wangji, whom reports indicate fully intends to spend the rest of his life wandering the earth with Wei Wuxian. Jin Ling is, as discussed, thirteen. The Nie sect leader is Nie Huaisang, who is nicknamed 'the headshaker' because when faced with decisions or conflict he shakes his head and says 'I don't know.'"  

Jiang Cheng and Jin Guangyao clearly had some sort of personal relationship, likely explaining why the former is alive, though it could also be blackmail material or something else. The best at being Chief Cultivator was indeed not the best for the Empire. "We shall pray that the situation resolves itself swiftly and peaceably. Is there anything else of note?"

"No, Your Imperial Majesty. We will provide reports as the situation develops and we discover who will become the Chief Cultivator. Preliminary reports suggest Lan Qiren."

"A return to Lan leadership sounds promising."

A few months later--

"Your Imperial Majesty, the next Chief Cultivator has been selected. It is Nie Huaisang."

"Inform the Court of how. And why."

"Your Imperial Majesty, we are not really... sure? Nie Huaisang seemed as surprised as anyone else. He apparently shook his head for nearly fifteen minutes trying to figure out whether he should take the position."

The emperor laughs, not unkindly. "He has been informed of the normal schedule of reports and plans, and given Our blessing, and all other proprieties and pleasantries duly and harmoniously fulfilled?"

"Indeed, Your Majesty. He seemed very flustered and confused by the reports and plans and it appears that he shall continue Jin Guangyao's policies by default."

The emperor smiled. All according to plan. Nothing had come to harm him despite an absurd excess of chaos and romantic entanglement of concerningly powerful people, and he could perhaps even push further. "Offer the services of our loyal soldiers at the watchtowers as well, if it should prove helpful. Divert them from the local garrisons, rotating regularly." If Chief Cultivator Huaisang deflected gracefully, nothing would be lost. If he accepted, Jin Guangyao's greatest legacy would be turned towards the empire's ends.

"Yes, Your Imperial Majesty. Your prudence in these matters is great."

Five uneventful and Wei-Wuxian-free years later--

"Your Imperial Majesty, I regret to inform you that I have news about Wei Wuxian."

"Underminister, it has been 19 years since the first time Wei Wuxian was mentioned in the Court. We can assume that it is too much to hope for that, in the intervening time, he has grown any more mature, wise, or even stable."

"Your Imperial Majesty, reports suggest that he has begun using demonic cultivation to... make textiles?"

"Textiles? We were not aware that this was something that demonic cultivation could do."

"Your Imperial Majesty, he... appears to have set each fierce corpse to do a particular small task over and over again. This speeds up manufacturing so that robes which would take a woman many months to sew are taken from cotton to being ready to wear in a single day." 

"If the fierce corpses do the same thing over and over again, how do they make the clothing fit? Would you not simply churn out tunics that do not fit?"

"Your Imperial Majesty, the fierce corpses manufacture several different 'sizes' of tunic for different people. The tunics do not fit as well as one sewn by hand, but the process of taking them in to fit a body takes much less time than making the entire tunic, and many peasants find them satisfactory as is. Variety in wardrobe, it seems, is as important to the peasants as fit."

"They're just tunics, underminister. How few could they have, two dozen?" Who thinks he is out of touch, and who realizes that they are meant to laugh? If Wei Wuxian is making tunics for peasants, that is concerning in that he is once again back and active and not night-hunting and having sex with Lan Wangji, but the emperor tries to focus on the things he can control, like the court and every non-cultivating citizen in the Empire, and not things he can't, like a forty year old man who seems to be finally settling down and producing clothing: a somewhat feminine profession, but then he is a cutsleeve.

"Your Imperial Majesty, the demand for his so-called 'mass-produced' clothing seemed to have outpaced his willingness to do it, particularly since he is easily bored. So he has started to train peasants in demonic cultivation."

"He is training peasants. In demonic cultivation. The same art that is speculated to be partially responsible for the impulsivity and self-control to the extent that he was distracted mid-fight by his enemies mocking him about his utter inability to confess his romantic feelings at the age of 35? How many have died so far?"

"Well, Your Imperial Majesty," the Underminister says judiciously, "previously the three most famous demonic cultivators were, before they did demonic cultivation, a candy-obsessed serial murderer, one of Jin Guangshan's other bastards who was a cutsleeve regularly assaulted by his family members, and Wei Wuxian. They were also all sixteen or seventeen. Apparently the impulsivity and loss of control of emotions associated with demonic cultivation is much easier to manage if you select middle-aged householders known for their reliability and calmness."

"The man has matured. You say that there is substantial demand: by how much is he undercutting the housewives for peasant garb?"

"Your Imperial Majesty, a completely finished garment costs perhaps a day's wages."

The emperor pauses. "How fast can he train peasant demonic cultivators, and how many tunics a day can each produce?" Is this going to be a fad, or a fundamental challenge to the stability and traditions of the empire? What will women do when they no longer devote a substantial fraction of their time to making clothing? He can't imagine it stopping at tunics.

The Underminister gives some statistics that are frankly quite terrifying. Within a few decades Wei Wuxian could easily be producing clothes for the entire Empire.

"Arrange a joint meeting with the Minister of Harmonious Production and the Minister of Proper Behavior to discuss this in more depth. What is he expected to do with that much money?"

"Your Imperial Majesty, he doesn't really seem to be using the amount of money he has right now. Much of it is reinvested back into his factories. Reports suggest that Lan Wangji, Wen Ning, and Wei Wuxian live in a very large and luxurious mansion, own a lot of rare books about cultivation and fancy liquors, throw lavish parties, and have funded the Jiang Clan taking on additional disciples and pursuing certain building projects. --They have also adopted either five or six children but as I understand it their child adoption is limited by spare time and not finances."

"And what is the Ghost General doing?"

"The Ghost General Wen Ning," the Underminister says carefully, "is the primary caretaker of their five or possibly six children."

Ah, maturity. Wild and violent teenagers, turned to productive men. Very feminine men who do tailoring and take care of children, but cutsleeves can be like that. "What sorts attend their parties? Middle-aged householders selected for reliability and calmness can't be great company."

"Your Imperial Majesty is perspicacious. Wei Wuxian's parties are far more popular among the householders' offspring. --The major cultivation clans officially disapprove of Wei Wuxian's actions. The Jiang disciples are permitted to attend, and even Sect Leader Jiang has been spotted. Minor Nie and Jin disciples sometimes attend, particularly the Nie, as Wei Wuxian's factories are in their territory. For reasons we are uncertain of, the Ghost General is very popular among the Lan juniors, and they regularly sneak out of the Cloud Recesses to get drunk and otherwise break the rules of their sect. And Wei Wuxian has made business connections with many rogue cultivators."

"Business connections with rogue cultivators? What do those even entail? Are they also becoming demonic cultivators?" A brief pause. "Lan Wangji hosts parties where Lan juniors get drunk and break the rules of their sect? The man noted for his adherence to all the rules of his sect?" Another. "This official disapproval seems very nominal: why did they dare officially disapprove of someone who is likely capable of killing them all, and not do anything further? Do not do an enemy a small injury."

"Your Imperial Majesty, Wei Wuxian thought that overland travel was too slow for selling his tunics, so he hired rogue cultivators to fly the tunics throughout Your Imperial Majesty's empire. The clans, obviously, disapprove of this, but there is little they can do while participating in trade makes the rogue cultivators so very wealthy." Pause. "Lan Wangji himself does not participate in parties, but I understand that his relationship with Wei Wuxian has loosened his attitude towards rules considerably." Pause. "It is difficult to coordinate action against Wei Wuxian, because the chief cultivator is so indecisive. He is dithering about the appropriate punishment, and whether it is permitted to forbid Wei Wuxian to do this at all, since the official policy of the cultivation clans has always been that anyone may teach cultivation, and how it should be addressed without irritating Wei Wuxian who could kill them all, and how to set policies without upsetting the peasants who quite like their new tunics. He has in fact dithered so much that Wei Wuxian set up all his factories in Nie territory, and now he is dithering about how to expel them."

"The rogue cultivators of the Imperial Communication Service have never been interested in becoming merchants before: what convinced them? We had thought it beneath their dignity." Not that they weren't opinionated dignified enough even as messengers: it was at least a relatively effective way for generals and magistrates to understand that cultivators would not pay them proper respect, even ones under the command of the Empire, and the Communication Service was usually understanding.

"Does it seem that the choice to set up all of his factories in Nie territory was necessarily deliberate, or did he simply pick a location and then build factories around it?"

"Oh, and incidentally: why is it five or six children? Why is information so hard to extract? Wei Wuxian has never seemed interested in hiding anything." Wei Wuxian's romantic incompetence and self-repression Do Not Count and the emperor Does Not Want To Consider That.

"Your Imperial Majesty, wealth is very convincing and access to secret cultivation knowledge that one would not otherwise be able to have is more convincing. Lan Wangji himself was Wei Wuxian's first merchant, and it is difficult to argue that being a merchant is undignified when a Twin Jade is doing it. Presumably Wei Wuxian set up his factories in Nie territory because Nie Huaisang would dither too much to actually expel them." Pause. "The uncertain child is Lan Sizhui, who mysteriously appeared in the Cloud Recesses at the age of five. He has no known family but was raised by Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen. At present, he lives with Wei Wuxian, Wen Ning, and Lan Wangji and helps with the children and educating the peasants. He refers to Lan Wangji by formal title and to Wei Wuxian and Wen Ning as his uncles. We believe him to be Lan Wangji's illegitimate child."

I would like access to secret cultivation knowledge is both a known priority and a known pointless exercise: the cultivator clans are jealous and have the power to simply take what they want and fade away. "So rogue cultivators standing on flying swords delivering vast quantities of tunics in magically expanded bags are likely to be visible throughout the empire soon indeed.

If Nie Huisang every actually began taking action his enemies would be in for a great surprise. "Remind the court, did the chief cultivator accept our offer of aid for the watchtowers?"

"Lan Wangji, lover of the most dangerous man in the empire, has an illegitimate child? This was not expected from a Twin Jade."

"Educating the peasants? In demonic cultivation?"

"Yes, indeed, Your Imperial Majesty. And the rogue cultivators are delivering other things as well. Your Imperial Majesty is of course aware of the continued health and prosperity of the Yiling region in spite of its recent crop failures?"

"It had been a puzzle, yes. The Yiling Patriarch was able to convince them to deliver food?"

"Indeed, Your Imperial Majesty. He purchased food in the Jiangnan region, which had an extraordinarily good crop, and directed all the rogue cultivators he employed to take it to the Yiling region. Essentially no one went hungry and he made a quite handsome profit."

The emperor frowns slightly. "You make him sound like less of a tailor, who produces necessary clothing, and more of a merchant." The last comes with audible distaste: while merchants are useful for delivering luxury goods and the emperor understands that others must deal with them directly, they are ultimately parasites on society who produce nothing themselves while claiming a great deal of coin in the process. 

"Your Imperial Majesty, Wei Wuxian is a tailor and a merchant and an inventor of novel cultivation techniques."

"The Chief Cultivator has neither accepted nor rejected our offer of aid for the watchtowers, because he cannot make up his mind whether he wants it or not."

"It is indeed puzzling that Lan Wangji, a man of such noted virtue, had an illegitimate child, but since he has recently become a cutsleeve merchant whose lover is a mass murderer perhaps his virtue is more flexible than previously believed. At any rate, Wei Wuxian by all reports adores Lan Sizhui and is unlikely to erupt in a fit of jealous rage. The Jiang sect is noted for its tendency to adopt children on thin pretexts."

The emperor is still less impressed than he was. From cultivator to merchant, and dragging one of the Twin Jades down with him. Even as an...unorthodox cultivator, Wei Wuxian had still at least performed his duty and his role.

If that had come from anyone else, the emperor would have actually been impressed. No room to take offense, no loss of power. Even a blind cock would get sunrise correct sometimes.

"You will keep a careful eye on these developments, and if necessary requisition men or money. The impact of this could be substantial."

"Yes, Your Imperial Majesty."

A messenger arrives, bows deeply, and awaits the Emperor's acknowledgement.

The emperor lazily gives his assent.

"Your Imperial Majesty, the Yiling Patriarch Wei Wuxian, the Ghost General, and Lan Wangji request an audience."

The emperor does not curse. "Invite them in, and confirm that the Underminister of Internal Affairs is available for any protocol questions that may arise." Dismiss the rest of court? Letting them all die along with himself would be a disservice. "We shall give the guests some room: our loyal ministers, courtiers, and companions shall leave."

The court is dismissed in swirl of robes and gossip.

From outside there came a voice.

"--don't see how this is my fault, Lan Zhan, Sizhui was the one who was supposed to tell the Emperor we were coming. Really, it's your fault, he's your kid. You were just telling me about how Sizhui was so much better behaved than a-Su and this is all because of the calming and disciplining influence of the Cloud-- oh, okay, we're here now, I'll shut up-- but seriously Lan Zhan I don't see how this could possibly be my-- okay! Okay! Shutting up."

The emperor, of course, gives no indication that he heard anything. They expected a child to inform the Court? They saw this as telling him that they were coming, not requesting an audience that could be denied. To be fair, he doubted there was anyone, cultivator or not, who would refuse an audience with them after everything that happened.

Three people enter, announced by a servant. "Lan Wangji, the Twin Jade."

Lan Wangji, in white with a forehead ribbon, makes a perfect bow. An absolutely flawless bow. There are people who spent their entire life in the court who could not bow with such precision and grace. This is a bow that makes you weep from the beauty of it. 

He has a sword sheathed in his belt.

"Wen Qionglin, the Ghost General," the servant says.

He executes a perfectly reasonable bow, which is much less notable than the fact that he has black lines up his neck and hands and smells like death badly covered with perfume. 

He is not carrying any weaponry but would be the scariest person here, if not for...

"Wei Wuxian, the Yiling Patriarch."

The third person observes both of the other people bowing and a half-second later executes a bow which is quite well-done except that it is, for some reason, the bow of a servant to a moderately ranked concubine. 

He has a flute on his belt on the right side and a bag on the left. 

Other people would, depending on the situation, potentially face exile for such a bow. The emperor is thankful that the Yiling Patriarch bowed at all. Anyone else who brought weapons to an audience with the emperor would, of course, have died, screaming, in one of the lower torture chambers. From these three cultivators, he assumed it was an aesthetic choice, though it was possible they were simply concerned about theft: cultivators often had powerful magic items, a temptation that might have been too much for a servant, which would have led to a bloody path through the imperial palace, which would have been very awkward and inconvenient for everyone involved.

"Lan Wangji, it is an honor to have you grace the Court. Wen Qionglin, it brings Us joy to see any soldier be able to turn towards raising children when the fighting has ended. Wei Wuxian, We understand that you are to be thanked for preventing a famine in Yiling, and for that, you have Our gratitude. What do you wish to discuss?"

"This humble servant," Lan Wangji says, "thanks You for the gracious honor of this audience and begs Your pardon for our inability to go through the proper channels. Your willingness to receive us is a model of generosity." 

Not talking not talking not talking he's SO good at not talking. And appropriate facial expressions. Isn't his Lan Zhan so great.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa they're talking to the Emperor aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

"The importance of protocol must bow before the needs of the Empire and its people." Most people would have heard those words, properly, as a threat: justify why you are here and disrupting Court. For these three, it was an acknowledgement that this was one of the least disruptive methods they were likely to use.

Lan Wangji probably has some kind of opinion about this but his face is very unenlightening. 

"We wish to request Your Imperial Majesty's indulgence in offering You a small gift, no doubt of little value to You whose wealth is spoken of throughout the Empire and in foreign lands."

Lan Zhan is so smart. He is saying SO many sentences, and they are all very polite ones, and if he keeps thinking about this maybe he will be able not to fidget with his flute.

(He is, in fact, totally fidgeting with his flute.)

Wei Wuxian's fidgeting is politely ignored. "The humblest sincere gift from a loyal citizen is treasured more than a solid gold elephant from a foreign prince." Sincere being the operative word. Of course, the emperor may be trapped into a gift exchange depending on how it is handled, but this is one of the benefits of sending one's courtiers out of the room first.

"This humble servant is grateful for Your Imperial Majesty's patience with the gifts of... merchants."

Not laughing not laughing not laughing.

So Lan Wangji has spies at Court, or at least close enough to it, and is letting the emperor know. And is, perhaps, feeling a touch confrontational: despite the flat delivery, the words were clearly chosen. "Patience is one of the virtues that all men must cultivate, particularly those who aspire to lead. We believe that this is wisely reflected in the rules of your clan, is it not?"

"Indeed, Your Imperial Majesty."

Now Wei Wuxian gets to show off his cool shit which ALMOST makes up for not being allowed to talk. 

He reaches into the bag and takes out three books and a little bell. 

has anyone considered that they are TALKING to the EMPEROR wen ning thinks they have not considered fully how terrifying that fact is

The emperor trusts that an explanation will come in time.

"Your Imperial Majesty, we humbly present to You the first three books from our new press and a talisman of Wei Wuxian's invention, based on the bells of the Jiang sect, which detects spiritual energy used by the wearer." 

Not talking is HARD.

"We are thankful for your gifts. What is contained in these books?"

One of the guards shuffles forwards and receives the items. Strangers do not enter within reach of the emperor, even under these circumstances.

He has done all the not talking he can be reasonably expected to do. 

"Your Imperial Majesty, this is an introductory cultivation textbook. Cultivators don't have any inherent abilities other people don't have. The reason that cultivation is kept within the clans is that we're the only ones who can teach our children young enough that they form a golden core. So! My book! I've had my demonic cultivators test it with their children and it took a couple tries but I can assure you, Your Imperial Majesty, that with the help of my book any non-cultivator with time and discipline can have their child form a golden core."

An entire country of cultivators. Turn any child into a cultivator. The dangers are immense. But the possibilities, if this is spread throughout the empire, are larger still. There will be no foreign threats before long, for what could stand against an army of cultivators? He has been assured that the differences are cultural, not spiritual, and so such an army should be controllable as normal.

"Wei Wuxian, you have truly exceeded yourself." That Wei Wuxian will almost certainly fail to catch the double meaning only makes it better. "This is a tremendous gift. To offer the power of cultivation to everyone in the empire presents a tremendous opportunity. We would like to see this distributed to everyone in the empire, if possible." It will cause some disruption for some well-established clans, most likely, but that is not a problem for the Empire: this offers the chance to truly shake things up and oust the fat and corrupt in a way not seen in his or his father's rule. "Is there any gift that could aid you in this endeavor?"

"Oh, Your Imperial Majesty, you don't even know the best part yet! So the other book is a medical textbook-- Wen Ning helped a lot with that one-- so people can treat their own diseases. And then I said to myself, 'well, all of these books are only useful if you can read,' so I wrote another book that's supposed to help kids learn to read and write and figure. Can't figure out how to get it so it teaches the kid without an adult-- I thought of papermen but then Lan Zhan said that that wouldn't help because you need a cultivator to make papermen and no way am I going to get everyone to make the same paperman for ten hours a day even if Lan Zhan does it first to show them that it's honorable-- but it says the words that the adult should say and when to move on to the next lesson so all you have to do is know how to read to use it. Oh! And the bell. I forgot about the bell. So the real problem with non-cultivators teaching cultivation, Your Imperial Majesty, is that they can't sense spiritual energy so they don't know whether the golden core is developing properly. But the Jiang sect has this traditional bell that rings the first time you use spiritual energy. And I thought 'wow, that sounds useful for something other than symbolism' so I got to work and now it makes different sounds corresponding to different stages of golden core development and spiritual energy use. Unfortunately, the bells definitely have to be made by a cultivator, they're a talisman, but people can share so it's more efficient than the papermen. Your Imperial Majesty."

He is SO EXCITED. By the end of the explanation he is BOUNCING.

With any luck the Emperor is more indulgent of such things than Lan Qiren. 

"You have one book that you plan to use to turn ordinary elites into teachers of reading and writing?" Polite skepticism seems appropriate. As does one question at a time. Any more and Wei Wuxian would likely interrupt him, which the emperor does not see any need to have happen. Besides, he does not need to test Wei Wuxian's ability to hold multiple parts of a conversation in his head at once. 

"Well, yeah. You just write down what teachers are supposed to do. It's not that hard. It's probably not as good as a good teacher, but it's a lot better than a terrible teacher, and-- oh! I should tell you the other thing."

The emperor makes a show of listening attentively.

"So, we've making a lot of money with the factories and the trade, Your Imperial Majesty, and there's really not a lot to spend money on, I've discovered. I have bought a lot of Emperor's Smile but even I can only drink so much Emperor's Smile, it turns out, I thought this would be impossible but in fact I can only get so drunk before it's not fun and also it turns out sometimes I don't want to be drunk. This is why the Jin put all that stupid gold on everything. They are trying to spend their unreasonable amount of money. Anyway. Where was I? Spending money. So I was like 'Wen Ning, what are we going to do with this enormous amount of money we have with literally nothing to spend it on?'--"

Why is he involved in the story. The Emperor should not notice he exists.

"--And Wen Ning, who is incredibly smart, was like 'weren't you just complaining that you can't teach kids whose parents can't read to cultivate?' So we could hire teachers and send them out to teach the peasants! And then they can learn how to read so they can read my very helpful books and do math so people don't cheat them and meditate a little so they're more durable and don't die every time smallpox comes around. And then I would have things to spend money on other than my Emperor's Smile collection."

"Your Imperial Majesty's Smile," Wei Wuxian corrected himself.

The explanation is just going to be more cultivator nonsense, he knows it, but he has to ask. "How did you come up with a book greater at teaching than what scholars could accomplish with training?"

"Most scholars are bad at their jobs, Your Imperial Majesty, and I'm great at mine."

The emperor pauses. Considers. Judges the man in front of him, what he has heard and what he has seen. "Many a scholar has come before the Court, and many more before my ministers, and insisted that their peers are wrong, and they are right. How do you know you are right?"

"Well, Your Imperial Majesty, I'd say that if I train teachers and Your people learn to read and write and figure and cultivate, then You'll know."

"That you are a master of cultivation is in no doubt: the bell for observing progress alone is of tremendous value." Perhaps others had considered the inevitable costs to the cultivator clans of cultivation becoming available to all, and refrained from inviting reprisals, but Wei Wuxian was a master of demonic cultivation. "But you claim to also be better at teaching literacy, and so much better at teaching literacy than others that you can distil into a book any literate adult can follow better than trained and selected teachers. What gives you confidence?"

"I mean, with all due respect, Your Imperial Majesty, people have been telling me I can't do things for my whole life and they haven't been right once."

He laughs. A genial one, the entertained emperor. Wei Wuxian is an impulsive demonic cultivator who once threatened to start slaughtering people until he got what he wanted, and he can bring the emperor back from the dead. "Indeed they have, Wei Wuxian. Indeed they have. We would be happy to lend our official approval to your efforts, which should prevent your books being burned by earstwhile teachers."

"If our small program ends up benefiting the people, Your Imperial Majesty, we wish to ask for Your assistance in expanding throughout Your empire."

"We would, of course, be pleased to support the expansion of a successful program across the empire. We will also distribute your gracious gift to Our favorite concubine, to teach some of Our children, as a sign of our trust in you. We trust that risking it with children, rather than locking it away in some glass display, will not cause offense."

"We would be pleased to return and observe how Your children are learning. We may be able to improve our writing."

"We would, of course, be pleased to arrange something for you to see, and will look forward to another visit." The emperor will not comment on Wei Wuxian's failure to adequately share credit: any attempt to sow division would obviously be spotted and taken as the attack it was. Besides, if this was truly possible, some of the teachers who focused on teaching young students literacy could focus on preparing older ones for the Imperial Exams, increasing candidate quality, which was particularly necessary at the provincial level. It need not be the massive disruption that Wei Wuxian was planning for every peasant woman, at least.

"Thank you for your indulgence, Your Imperial Majesty."

"Returning to an earlier topic, We assume that the instructions for interpreting the sound of the bell are contained in the cultivation instruction book?"

"Indeed, Your Imperial Majesty."

"What could be done to aid the process of spreading this as widely as possible?"

"Honestly, Your Imperial Majesty, we mostly need you not to bother us while we're distributing the--"

"We wish to ask for Your Imperial Majesty's patronage of our presses and support for cultivators' traditional freedom to publish about cultivation practices."

He pondered his words for a moment. "An objective of imperial policy is harmony, as well you know, including between mortals and the cultivator clans. Our ministers may raise concerns that this publication could produce backlash, as you are surely aware, and that if this support came in the form of troops there could be unnecessary disharmony in the land if the sects saw Our actions as intruding in their affairs."

"The Chief Cultivator has a... commendable... respect for tradition. Is it not true disharmony to go against the practices of our ancestors?"

The emperor will not laugh, but he will share a smile with the Lan Zhan. "It is, yet We suspect that you may wish for something more than statements of support. We can arrange for blessings, of course, including perhaps a ceremonial one here. We will be happy to publicize any success once Our children can cultivate, but We suspect that that may take a while. Wei Wuxian, how long is the usual process?"

"Depends on the kid, Your Imperial Majesty. Lan Sizhui had his after only two years of meditation but most children are not Lan Sizhui." His tone suggests that this is a fault on the part of most children and one they should very much consider correcting. 

"Marvelous! That is impressive indeed! I do not think that even you managed to acquire your golden soul so early, did you? You must be so proud. How did Lan Sizhui enter your life?" Wei Wuxian is weirdly fond of his lover's illegitimate child, but Wei Wuxian can have whatever foibles he feels like having, and parents are often exuberantly fond of anyone they have a hand in raising from a young enough age. Perhaps this was a way for two cutsleeves to have a child?

"Well, Your Imperial Majesty, I gave birth to him."

"Probably a good thing he takes after Lan Zhan, Your Imperial Majesty," Wei Wuxian continues, "when I was his age I was killing thousands of people in a single night with fierce corpses."

"And yet you are now a priceless treasure of the realm, soon responsible for protecting tens of thousands from disease." Wei Wuxian had not seemed as interested in the military implications, and the emperor sees no need to remind him. 

"Right, Your Imperial Majesty. Who knows what Lan Sizhui will be up to when he's twenty-seven?"

The emperor stares at the forty year old man in front of him. He appears younger, of course, but that is the way of cultivators, who strive to achieve immortality. "Why do you say 27?"

"Well, Your Imperial Majesty, I was dead for thirteen years of it, I don't really think that counts."

"Understandable. On that topic, Wei Wuxian, I would ask something of you. A task that, as I understand it, only you can do."

"Ready to hear about it, Your Imperial Majesty."

Not the instant promise of obedience he would have expected from almost anyone else, but perhaps that was wiser for Wei Wuxian, who clearly would not be able to deflect with polite diversions if he had already promised support. Still not what he had hoped to hear as the culmination of his efforts, but something. "You may approach the throne." That he did not want word getting out would hopefully not fly over the head of even Wei Wuxian.

Wei Wuxian approaches the throne. 

A softer voice, not the wide-whisper he sometimes employs but genuinely quiet words, a real chance at protection against what he has feared since his older brother was murdered when he was six. "You are aware, of course, that your plans invite reprisals from the sects. If We openly support them, give them our blessing and our protection, We fear some young hothead may strike at us. You returned Wen Qionglin from the dead. We would ask that you do the same for us."

"I'm sorry, Your Imperial Majesty, but that is terrible idea."

"Why?" Taking offense can come later. Has to come later. If there is any chance.

Wei Wuxian whistles five notes. He does not touch his flute.

And Wen Ning begins to dance. It's simple, a peasant dance; it's not at all something someone would do voluntarily in front of the Emperor.

Wei Wuxian whistles another three notes.

Wen Ning stops, blinks, and looks quite like he wants to run away from the Imperial throne room as quickly as possible.

Oh. An immortal emperor under the complete control of Wei Wuxian. That would be a terrible outcome. It had not been a terrible idea, of course, but that distinction would be lost on the man in front of him. At a normal volume "Thank you, Wen Qiongling, for that demonstration." He moves back to the private voice, and considers. "If you would train three members of the imperial guard to be demonic cultivators, We can send loyal and stable men to you. It would provide at least some protection. If you wish to pay taxes in training rather than in money, you would be more than welcome to do so, now or at any time in the future." Given the discussion of the utter lack of use for money that Wei Wuxian has, it is unlikely to be soon, but eventually all men need cash.

"Do cultivators ever actually pay taxes, Your Imperial Majesty, I think you send us tax collectors and we don't pay and there's nothing you can actually do about this. --I'm going to have to talk to Lan Xichen, Your Imperial Majesty, he's the one who actually gets politics. He told Lan Zhan all the things he was supposed to say and told me I was supposed to sit in the background and look terrifying and be quiet."

The emperor laughs softly. "Taxing the sects would be impractical, and rogue cultivators contribute in other ways. But you propose to make everyone a cultivator: you see how the Empire can't survive if everyone is exempt from taxation?"

"Oh, of course, but that doesn't mean you're going to tax me, Your Imperial Majesty."

"On one hand, powerful people employing demonic cultivators has, in general, gone very very badly. I know Your Imperial Majesty is aware of Xue Yang. On the other hand, cultivators being above the law has also, in general, gone very very badly. We want to work with Your Imperial Majesty because if someone had been able to stop Jin Guangshan or Wen Ruohan the past thirty years would have been much less... interesting. It's... not good that we can wind up with phenomenal power in the hands of Lan Xichen, Nie Huaisang, and a thirteen-year-old."

There are benefits to not letting Lan Wangji handle the dangerous parts of the conversation, particularly since Wei Wuxian seems to be, if not in charge, at the very least not under the thumb of the others. More honest reactions are always valuable. "My advisors tell me that in a few decades your tunic-making operation could produce as much as is needed by the entire Empire. Not taxing someone is much easier when they are not, for example, arranging food deliveries sufficient to meaningfully affect the supply of an entire region. As to your other point, Our impression was that demonic cultivation makes people more impulsive, but that you had managed to address this by choosing people with a predilection for stability."

"That's true, Your Imperial Majesty, but demonic cultivation is still a lot of power to have in the hands of a single person who doesn't plan to use it to make tunics."

"Do you expect Us to believe that you have no plans of expansion?"

"Your Imperial Majesty, my plans are"-- he counts them off on his fingers-- "to learn what other kinds of manufacturing are more efficient if you're using fierce corpses and do them, invent some cool talismans, systematize demonic cultivation, publish books, educate the peasants, figure out a better kind of immortality before I die, get someone else to be chief cultivator before Nie Huaisang decides to lie in his bed with his covers over his head and never come out, drink a lot, throw excellent parties, adopt a truly unreasonable number of children, have lots of sex with my husbands, and send Lan Qiren into a qi deviation. None of my plans involve torturing anyone except Lan Qiren and he's asking for it. With all due respect, Your Imperial Majesty, can you honestly say that's true of Yourself?"