Kani's life, these days, tends to follow what she understands to be the path of least resistance.

Right now, that means she's going to stay in bed for another hour or two (It doesn't matter, none of this matters), curled up, hugging her knees. She doesn't have any reason to get up, after all.

(Eventually, though, her body provides her with a few.)

When she gets back from the bathroom, she eats two of the protein bars from the box her desk, letting the wrapper join its sisters on the floor. They don't really taste like anything. (She doesn't care. Food's food. She has to eat something - her fathers notice, if she doesn't, and they get worried, and if she keeps not eating, she'd end up in a hospital, and she never wants to be in a hospital ever again. So she eats.)

She boots up her laptop.

She has homework. (If she skips it, the teachers get concerned, they call her fathers, they get worried, she has to go to more therapy sessions, (and - Thrana wouldn't have wanted-) It's easier to just do the homework. A bad grade isn't the end of the world.)

It's a precal worksheet. Periodic functions.

She remembers Mags telling her about these, two years ago, so excited about what she was learning and so bad at noticing when Kani was too stupid to keep up with her. Sine and cosine, waves repeating forever, an animation Mags had made of a point spinning around a circle with the graphs in the background and the labeled functions. 

Almost everything Mags had said that afternoon had gone in one ear and out the other, but Kani had been hypnotized by that circle, and now it returns to her mind in her hour of need. For once, her math homework is straightforward, and she's finished well before sunset. 

(She thinks about messaging Mags about it, but - there are so many unread messages she'd need to read, and respond to, first. Just thinking about it is exhausting. It's easier not to.)

She decides to go for a hike down to the river. (Dad tends to get worried when she doesn't leave the house, and since she's made it clear that she's only going to take classes remotely, she really only goes out for hikes, or when she's being forced to go to some kind of appointment. And if he gets worried enough, he won't be able to resist being the one who comes into her room to check on her when she's asleep, and unlike Papa he's bad at being quiet about it. It's easier if she goes on hikes, once in a while.)

And... she likes it by the river. Not enough to actively look forward to it, but - it's nice.

She gets dressed for a late spring hike and slips out of her room. Neither father will be home for a few hours, which suits her just fine.

She grabs her bag from the hallway banister; it's already packed. (Dad repacks it every time she uses it, which is his way of trying to encourage her to go out whenever she wants, as long as she's safe. If she goes long enough without hiking, she'll find it in her room instead of out here.)

 She doesn't bother taking inventory - she knows what's inside. Water bottle and a flashlight in the side pockets, trail mix, some fruit gummies, a lightweight layered coat, a spare phone battery, and at the bottom, the same kind of travel first-aid kit that the 3 of them have used all her life. (Papa always did his best to show her how to use it, when he had a chance, and she'd been an eager student. (Of course, the time that knowledge might have helped her the most, she'd been too late, too late, too late))

She shoulders the bag and winces at the sound of the ice rattling against the metallic edges of the water bottle. (She knows from experience that they melt after a few days even with the bottle closed, which means Dad checks and keeps it filled every time, because he knows she does a much better job staying hydrated when the water is cold. Because he still loves her, even if she's just a hollowed out shell of the daughter he raised, and this is one of the few ways he feels like he can express that love.)

She feels a dull pain in her chest, like there's an empty hole inside of her. (There is an empty hole inside of her.) 

She pulls on her headphones, selects her hiking playlist, grabs a mask (she knows she doesn't need it anymore, she knows, she knows), and heads out the door.

 The sun is starting to set as she leaves, which means it'll be dark on the way back, but she'll be fine. She has her flashlight, water, plenty of snacks, and her trusty first aid kit. There's nothing to worry about. It's not a hard hike, and it's one she's done dozens of times.

The path to the river is a few miles, and goes over some rocky terrain. She stumbles, once or twice, but it's fine. The river is waiting.

The river is... nice. She goes to sit down on her favorite rock, and slides her backpack down onto it next to her. She listens to the water running (...is it louder than usual?) for a while, long enough that she loses track of time. 

It's spring. The melting ice caps upriver have the banks a little higher than usual, and a little faster, too.

Kani's favorite rock is dark with moisture, when she sits down, and as she dangles her feet off the side like she always does, they get soaked. The river's rapid current sends water into the air around her in little bursts.

She stays for about an hour, as she'd planned, and then decides to turn back. She puts on her backpack, and gets out her flashlight.

She's soaked. It's cold. And her flashlight, having taken more water from the river than was good for it... doesn't turn on when she presses the button.

She presses the on/off switch a couple times, vaguely confused.

She feels like... something isn't quite right. It's hard to place, though. (It's not the usual feeling, the one that nothing will ever be okay again. She knows.)

She'll be fine. She has her flashlight, water, plenty of snacks, and her trusty first-aid kit. There's nothing to worry about. It's not a hard hike, and it's one she's done dozens of times.

She pauses to drink a long gulp of the deliciously ice-cold water, eats a few handfuls of trail mix, and then repacks her bag.

She gets back on the trail, trusty flashlight in hand to light the way.

The sun has long since set. The pale light of the moon (waxing gibbous) does little to illuminate the ground in front of Kani, but it's better than a dead flashlight. And her waterlogged shoes aren't doing her any favors, either, though she moves with the same confidence she had on the way here. 

The first three times she bumps into something and stumbles in the dark, she catches herself. The fourth time, she's not so lucky.

She falls, hard, her left knee bashing into a rock and splitting open.

She cries out in shock and pain. It hurts, sending jolts through her system. She hears the tinkling of breaking glass. Augh! What... happened...

Kani pulls herself to her feet. (...why was she on the ground?) It doesn't matter. She'll be fine. She has her flashlight, water, plenty of snacks, and her trusty first-aid kit. There's nothing to worry about. It's not a hard hike, and it's one she's done dozens of times.

A bleeding kneecap isn't something that will prevent anyone from walking, of course, but it is the kind of thing that one wants to be careful with.

Kani's moving a lot slower, now, both because her hurt leg doesn't want to swing as far and because she's struggling to keep her balance. She stumbles often, but manages to stay upright as she makes her way up the slope that marks the midpoint between the shoreline and home. (She's shivering. Her phone buzzes, now and then. She doesn't seem to notice.)

Kani is - confused? Something seems wrong. She's not sure what, exactly. Something... is more difficult than usual? Hurts more than usual? Both, maybe? Ugh.

She can figure it out later, maybe.  She'll be fine. She has her flashlight, water, plenty of snacks, and her trusty first-aid kit. There's nothing to worry about. It's not a hard hike, and it's one she's done dozens of times. She keeps going.

Despite the pain and the cold, she can keep going like this for a while. She's young, and healthy of body, if not of mind. 

She even manages to fall gently, the first time her knee gives out on her, and gets back up like nothing happened.

The second time, however, she tumbles forward down the rocky slope. Her headphones and mask fly off her face, and she lands on her right arm with a sickening crunch.

 - pain - what - pain - happened?

she screams, from the confusion and fear as much as from the pain itself.

They were already coming down the path to find her, since "Kani is out hiking, after dark, not responding to messages or calls" is in fact the kind of thing they worry about.  

When the screaming starts, they're in earshot, and they come running. 

They arrive on the scene; their daughter is face down on the trail, bruised and bleeding. 

They rush to her side. They've done their share of first aid together, on the job; they have a routine. (Kani usually kind of hates it, when she notices they're doing that, but she's too - confused, or in shock, or something to do more than sob in distress.)

They get her wounds bandaged and cleaned, build a makeshift splint for the arm they strongly suspect is broken, and bring her home via a fireman's carry. They give up on trying to get her to drop her broken flashlight (her fingers gripping it are bone-white, but she won't let go) or get an explanation out of her (She seems more confused than they are, really, she was having a normal hike?) for now - that can wait.

Safely home, they do a second pass of first aid, including painkillers, cleaning and redressing all her wounds, and helping her get the mud off her without getting into what would be an extremely painful shower with all these cuts and bruises. They ice her broken arm to try and keep the swelling down.

Then they start to argue.

"Dear, I know she hates hospitals, but her arm is broken. We are not qualified to treat a broken arm! You know this!"

     "Yes, but - look at her, she's terrified, if we take her to the hospital like this it could be horrible for her, and you know how fragile she is right now-"

"Her arm is broken. We can't just -"

     "We could at least wait a bit, the bone hasn't punctured skin, there aren't any signs of internal bleeding. Give her time to think about it, come to terms with it."

"...Okay. We can wait an hour. But I'm staying right here the whole time, and if she starts to get worse, we're taking her straight there."

     "Alright. I'll call ahead and make all 3 of us some soup."

"Okay. I'll explain what's going on as best I can."

Kani is confused and in pain and scared!! She was - hiking back from the river, and everything was fine, and then - it wasn't fine? Isn't fine? She's in pain and she doesn't understand why and it's kind of overwhelming, it's a lot of pain. Her fathers are here and taking care of her and she appreciates that but it's - confusing.

...Papa trying to talk to her. She tries to focus.

     "Kankan, we need to take you to the hospital. I'm sorry, I know you hate it there, but [??¿¿] and we can't treat that here."

She makes a kind of pathetic confused noise, and he pauses.

     "-what part is confusing, honey?"

"Um - why do I need to go the hospital?" She's shaking, and wincing in pain.

Papa stares at her, fear creeping into his eyes.

      "Kankan, [??¿¿]. Do you - can you not tell that [??¿¿]?"

She makes a frightened whimper.

"Oh, honey..." 

He doesn't understand what's going on, and he really doesn't like that. He checks her temperature with his hand (still fine), her pulse and demeanor for signs of shock (none, which is a relief but a bit confusing), and does another careful inspection of her head. Nothing. It's possible to sustain a head injury with no external sign of damage, though...

"When you fell, did you hit your head?"

       She gives him that same confused, frightened stare that she did when he asked about her broken arm, and he does not like that at all.

"Kankan. This is really important - I need you to focus, okay? Can you tell me if your head hurts?"

        Her face screws up in the way he recognizes as her concentrating even though it's hard. "...it doesn't", she says softly after a while.

He sighs in relief. "What about your arm? Does your arm hurt?"

        That same look of concentration, but for much less time. "Yes," she whispers. "It hurts really really badly."

Papa sighs in relief.

      "We're going to take you to the hospital for your arm. [??¿¿], and they can fix that."

What - ugh. She hates the hospital, hates all the memories it brings back, but - her arm really really really hurts, and she's so confused and scared.

She slumps in defeat, and nods slightly, trying not to cry.

Papa goes to go talk to Dad. (She's not really listening.)

"Dave, I think there's something wrong."

       "You mean be-"

"Yes, I mean besides the broken arm. And her poor knee, and the other scrapes. She's - she looked so confused when I was talking about her broken arm. It was like I was speaking another language."

        He frowns. "We checked her for head injuries..."

"And I just did another check, and I asked her if her head was hurting (it's not), and if she could tell her arm was hurting (she can). It's weird, Dave. It's weird, and I don't like it all."

        "I don't either, love. But we'll get through it. Go sit with her, I'll be right there. Soup's almost ready."

Soup!!! She reaches out to grab the spoon and OWOWOWOWOW

      "Kankan, [??¿¿]! Eat with your left hand, okay?"

She whimpers. She doesn't understand, but - she can try and eat with her left hand? For mysterious reasons?

Eating with your left hand SUCKS. It's slow and it's clumsy and she's in SO MUCH PAIN. Why is she doing this? She should just - OWOWOWOW

Wow, Pete was right, that is really concerning! He's really concerned!

 "Kanikins... can you do me a big favor? Can you try really hard not to move your right arm at all? For me? Tell you what -  I'll make you a quad batch of pesto tomorrow, and handle all the cleaning. Just give this a try for me."

This is a confusing request and Kani is already very confused and distressed! 

On the other hand. A quad batch of pesto. And she doesn't have to clean the blender or bowls... 

She nods, hesitantly, and continues the miserable task of trying to eat soup with her left hand. It's for a good cause.

Then, it's - time to go to the hospital, because of [??¿¿]. (And because of the pain, but the thing they keep coming back to is [??¿¿].)

She can't even tell if they mean the same thing each time when they say [??¿¿]. It's hard to think about, and she's tired of trying. They're going to the hospital for stupid horrible reasons. Stupid horrible things will happen to her there, probably, and it'll be scary and confusing and overwhelming. She can microdose on Thrana's teenage life experience! What a beautiful tribute -

Mercifully, they pick up on the way she gets more stressed / agitated / confused whenever they bring up her broken arm, and privately agree to stop mentioning it. They pack into their old station wagon, with Papa sitting in the back seat with Kani.

The hospital is about an hour's drive away. They pick up where they left off on the Small Gods audiobook, which serves as a merciful distraction for at least some of their worries.

When they get there, Dad goes in ahead to talk to the staff at the front desk. (He tries to tell them to not mention the broken arm while treating it. They do not really seem to understand why this would be necessary, so he's not hopeful about them actually doing it.)

She's in pain and confused and scared, and the moment she steps into the hospital her brain helpfully reminds her of all the times she was here to -

She clings to Papa, only using her left hand because she told Dad she'd try not to use her other arm.

They take her to a waiting room. A nurse comes in and looks her over, his face gentle with concern.

"Oh no, you poor thing! How did [??¿¿]?"

GOOD FUCKING QUESTION, she thinks with a mental snarl, but it doesn't reach her face.

"We're not exactly sure, but we think it happened while she was hiking", he mutters, noticing the way Kani shifts uncomfortably at the question and then again when he says "it happened".

...Maybe she's having some kind of trauma response? They did so much reading about PTSD, after what happened with Thrana, and he knows that sometimes people suppress memories. As best any of them can tell, that certainly hasn't been Kani's problem with the death of her friend though he wishes it was, it couldn't be worse for her than what she's been going through, but people can and often do respond differently to different kinds of trauma, and little Kankan's never been injured like this before...

He gently rubs his thumb along the back of his daughter's good hand, and worries.

She could try and pay attention to what's going on, maybe clear up some of the (scary, scary) confusion swimming around in her head, but - it's easier not to. She lets Papa and Dad (who rejoins them a few minutes later) handle the interactions with the hospitalpeople. Her mind wanders, unwillingly. 

"Sorry, she isn't well enough for visitors today," the nurse says to Kani and Mags with a sad smile on his face. It's the third time this week. Kani is starting to get scared. She clings to Mags' hand more tightly.

"Has her mom been by?" Mags demands, because the last time that Thrana had seen the two of them, she'd been so hurt and sad that her mom hadn't come by to see her. It was only supposed to be a week, but now it'd been three, and none of them knew what was going on and none of the adults would explain anything, preferring to reassure them that it was all what was best for Thrana.

The way the nurse looks (angry, haunted, guilty) before he shoos them out of the building is unforgettable. Mags asks her, as they walk home, what Kani thinks it means (Mags wasn't good at faces, not at all). She guesses, hesitantly, that he was hiding something bad from them. In the next few weeks, they start to learn what.

It doesn't take them that long to notice that Kani's attention has left the room; they share a look of mixed concern and relief. It never seems like she's remembering happy things, when she does this, but - well, it's a familiar behavior, at least, and it means they can focus on explaining everything they know to the triage nurse and then again to the nurse practitioner about 15 minutes later (quiet night at the hospital, luckily):

They found her collapsed on the hiking trail and did their best to tend to her various cuts and bruises. Yes, she sometimes hikes in the dusk - it's never been a problem before, she's had a lot of safety training. No, she doesn't have a history of falling or clumsiness (she's quite agile, actually, that's part of why this is surprising). No, she doesn't have a history of reckless behavior. 

The NP asks if the broken arm is the primary problem. Dave explains that she's shown persistent confusion when anyone mentions that her arm is broken, though she seems aware that it hurts. The NP frowns, types something into his computer, and then says it's time for her to get the arm x-rayed.

She's dragged back into the present when a hospitalperson moves her arm, the one she wasn't supposed to move, and it hurts so bad the pain sends pulses through her brain like shockwaves.

She doesn't understand why (it hurts) and she's so scared (it hurts). Every time they let go of her (it hurts) she thinks that (it hurts) at least it's over now (it hurts), but then there's a buzzing (it hurts) noise and they come back (it hurts) and move her arm again (it hurts it hurts it hurts). 

It takes a while after they finish the x-rays for Kani to stop crying. She doesn't really respond when they try to gently console her, not even to whimper.

They try playing the audiobook, as much for them as for her, but she doesn't respond to that, either, and though she doesn't complain about it anymore (it takes a lot to make her complain, these days) they know she doesn't like it when they listen without her / when she falls asleep, even if it's something they've all heard before.

They talk about work, quietly, because they don't really know what else to do, and the silence is getting to them. (Kani seems to have fallen into her memories again.)

Eventually, they get called back to see a doctor.

The doctor has some really neat green hair with an asymmetric undercut and a [they/them] on their badge. (Kani almost manages a ghost of a smile, seeing this, but doesn't quite get there.)  

"As your fathers suspected, [??¿¿]," the doctor says. They show her... an x-ray, looking at her like this is supposed to mean something. She doesn't know what they want. She shrugs, then winces as a nasty wave of pain shoots up her right arm for some reason.

They look at her, and then turn to her fathers with a confused frown on their face. Dad says, very carefully, "I believe we mentioned to the intake NP that [??¿¿] whenever someone mentions [??¿¿]?" 

The doctor peers at their computer, mutters "Okay, 'exhibits some signs of [??¿¿]' is not a very useful summary there, and types up something. (Papa inhales in that specific way he does when he's going to say something kind of rude, but stops when Dad puts a hand on his shoulder).

They stop talking to her directly, after that, but she's too tired to do more than just listen.

The doctor is going to [??¿¿] for the [??¿¿], which is standard. They have never seen anything like the [??¿¿] before, and can't really think of an explanation in the absence of [??¿¿], but that they should keep an eye on her in case it seems like it's getting worse, and that they'll do a bit of research if they have time.

She is so sick of hearing about [??¿¿], whatever the fuck it is. Papa notices her getting agitated, and squeezes her shoulder. "We'll be out of here soon", he says. "We just gotta do one more thing, okay?"

(She doesn't respond. How could she possibly agree to anything, when they're just saying gibberish? What would it mean?)

Well, it's a good thing she didn't agree, because "one more thing" is VERY EXTREMELY HORRIBLE PAIN, APPARENTLY, and she WOULD NOT HAVE AGREED TO IT IF SHE'D KNOWN THIS. (not that it matters what she agrees to, obviously, but it's the principle of the thing.)

It hurts to watch. Obviously not as bad as it hurts their poor daughter, but - he feels so helpless, and he can tell Dave does too.

They stay with her as the cast goes on, then Dave gets the discharge and care instructions from the doctor while he takes poor Kani into the other room so she doesn't have to hear it - she's been through enough, for now. "You're being really brave, Kankan. We love you so much."

She doesn't feel very brave! She feels scared and confused and also a dull aching pain! She shrugs (ow ow ow there are worse pains than dull and aching!!!)

Papa flinches when she shrugs, which is very confusing but also makes her feel a little bad. It's probably not his fault that everyone has started speaking gibberish. Probably. 

"...Sorry," she mumbles unhappily.

He pets her head and tells her it's okay. (This is obviously Grown Up Bullshitting, but whatever.) He tells her that Dad is going to get medicine for - get medicine and that they can meet him in the car. ("medicine for what?" she doesn't ask. It's not any of her business.) 

 Papa says they'll get milkshakes and fries on the way home, if she wants. She manages to nod meekly. She does want.

Papa insists on putting her behind the driver's seat even though though she usually prefers the passenger, also on buckling her seatbelt for her, carefully, like he hasn't since she was a little kid. It's confusing and a little insulting, but - it's easier not to complain, and the look in his eyes when he asks is... haunting. 

Dad shows up with a pharmacy bag a little bit later.  Papa gets out of the car and closes the door before talking to him, which is also kind of insulting, but whatever. 

Then they both get in the car, and they're off to go home get milkshakes and fries and then go home.

They stop to get milkshakes and fries; they eat them in the parking lot so Pete can hold the milkshake for Kani to sip from, which she looks confused about and at least a bit annoyed with but puts up with, thankfully. (She does not seem any more aware that her arm is broken than she was before, even with the cast and sling, but the pesto bribe appears to be keeping her from trying to move it anyways, which they're both thankful for.) 

She also agrees to take the strong painkiller (in the worringly resigned way she sometimes gets, these days), which is a relief. She's obviously in a lot of pain even if she doesn't understand why, and this will make it easier to sleep.

She feels sluggish and slow and tired. She doesn't really understand why, which is scary! But it's... hard to get to worked up about it... 

Her fathers get her settled into her bed. She's barely aware of what's going on, though she can tell they're being weirdly careful with her, like she's some kind of baby, like she's made of glass. She resents it. 

She can't keep her eyes open, though.

Dr Ixi, home after a long shift,  finds themself unable to relax. They keep thinking back to that Plava girl. She was so on-edge, and so confused and surprised about how much pain she was in. They don't like it. 

They start searching for weird psychosis symptoms. They read a case study. And another. And a third.

I think your daughter might be undergoing an esper awakening. There aren't a lot of fool-proof ways to tell, if you don't have an esper friend to check, but if you track her eye color over the next week and notice it changing, that'd be indicative. 

this is kind of an insane message to send, but Ixi is underslept and as an explanation it just makes sense. 

Kani wakes up blearily (she was having a bad dream (they're mostly bad dreams, this year,). Her body feels stiff and achy.

She yawns wide, stretches, 

screams (owowowowowowOW???)

(They rush in when they hear the scream, and find their daughter looking at her broken arm in utter confusion.)

Dad reminds her that she promised to try not to move her right arm in exchange for a quad batch of pesto. She groans and says she thought that was just for the night, how long does she have to keep it still?

Her fathers look at each other. "So, the doctor emailed us and said that you might be [??¿¿]!" Papa says excitedly.

? is [??¿¿] a good thing now?  She squints in annoyance. 

-oh, she can't understand that, either. He looks at Dave helplessly.

He crouches down until he's at eye level with her and takes her left hand in his gently. 

"Kanikins, things are going to be... weird and hard and scary. We think it'll just last a week, but we're not sure. Did you get all that?" 

She thinks back to her horrible evening and shudders, then winces at the surprise jolt of pain this causes. 

"... Yeah. Weird and terrible and painful week. ...probably-a-week." 

She sighs. She feels so tired. 

"...please don't make me go back to the hospital," she grumbles. 

He sighs in relief, trying to make a mental note. Her... backlash (?) seems like stops her from learning about... things that are happening to her, which is really weird, but she got this okay. 

He squeezes her good hand. "We shouldn't need to. You were very brave, last night, and we think all you need to do now is rest in bed and wait it out, okay?" 

... they're going to get more worried if she doesn't acknowledge him. She should nod. (She nods).

But...

She's annoyed. Annoyed enough to deviate from the path of least resistance, apparently. 

"So, what, I have to sit around and be confused and in pain for at least a week, but maybe longer, and you can't even explain why?" (her voice is rising - not shouting, certainly, but a stark difference from how quiet she usually is. She doesn't notice.) "And you want me to not use my right arm the whole time? For some stupid food? That's not what I thought I was agreeing to!" 

"Kani..." but then she glares at him, and that shuts him right up. Their poor little girl... 

After several seconds of awkward silence, he clears his throat. "That's fair. I guess we're asking a lot of you" from her perspective, anyways "and it's only fair you get something big in return. Think about something you want and - we can't promise to get you anything, you know that, but - if we can afford it, it's on the table, ok?" 

She swallows and then nods, hesitantly.

...it's hard for her to think of something she wants more than to know what's going on. As far as she knows, she... took a hike, and then... weird and terrible things started happening?

With some effort, she manages to express this to her fathers. They give each other a Look. (She does not like that look.)

Dad squeezes her hand again. "Kanikins, we can try and explain, but it's hard because it seems like [??¿¿] -" he cuts himself off when he sees her glare.

Papa has a thoughtful look on his face. "...Kani, when Dad said [??¿¿], what did you hear?"

She twists her face up in thought, trying to remember. 

"...It's gibberish. I couldn't make that sound with my mouth. How are you doing that?"

It's hard for her to read the look on Dad's face. "We're just - talking normally, honey, as far as we can tell."

This is really frustrating! Why are they lying to her about this!?

-oh dear, she's getting upset.

He holds up his hands in surrender. "I'm sorry, honey. We can stop talking about it. We love you, okay? You can think about what you want in exchange for not using your right arm this week, and I'll go get breakfast started. I'll make waffles just how you like them, and cut them up so you don't have to, okay?"

Time passes.

For Kani, it's confusing and boring and humiliating and occasionally very painful.

She doesn't have to go to school this week, which is a small mercy. She sleeps a lot and watches a lot of TV. Dad and Papa trade off shifts so that one of them is always home with her, and they do a good job of keeping her fed with food she likes, including lots of waffles for breakfast, her favorite takeout pizza options, and the promised quad batch of pesto.

She tells her fathers that in exchange for pretending to be an amputee she wants a fiberglass canoe to replace poor old Bippy (may she rest in pieces), and is shocked when after they mutter to each other quietly they agree. (When the shock wears off, she feels guilty - fiberglass canoes are expensive!)

Pretending to be an amputee is hard and makes her life so much more stressful, and sometimes she forgets (or just 'forgets'), but she does a pretty good job, all things considered. 

Sometimes she's hit with horrible spikes of pain and she can never understand why. Because of the [??¿¿], she thinks bitterly, whatever the fuck that means.

They ask her more questions about [??¿¿], and play some horrible game where they talk about Papa breaking his arm, tripping and falling, and even awakening as an esper(??) and then follow up by talking about [??¿¿]. She is so fucking sick of  [??¿¿], and after a few minutes of this she gets angry enough to cry about it. They don't try again.

Later, Dad tries to convince her that she's going to be an esper. She tells him this is stupid, because espers are very very rare, and also they have to go through hell week first! If she was having a hell week she's pretty sure she would notice!! He pats her on the head and starts to talk, but then stops. (He's been doing that a lot, the last few days. Maybe he's started to notice when he's going to speak gibberish? She hopes so.)

Dave has to stop Pete from doing more experiments with written sentences. Kani reports that she just saw scribbles on her hospital outtake form, and her increasing impatience and anger with concepts she's unable to understand is... entirely reasonable, honestly, Dave thinks he'd probably feel the same. 

They might learn something by doing the experiments, he concedes to Pete, maybe even something valuable, but it's nothing they can't learn later, after Kani's hell week is over and she can understand what happened to her and meaningfully consent.  Dave actually raises his voice, saying it, for the first time in as long as he can remember. (He feels horrible, seeing the look of shock on Pete's face, and apologizes immediately, but it still happened. He hates this.)

Pete agrees, and then admits he wanted to keep experimenting because it made him feel a bit less helpless. Maybe he'd figure out some way of getting through to her, he says, with a barking laugh. They're both pretty sure the only way out is through.

By the fourth day, they're sure there is a through - her eyes are changing color, the usual pale blue growing more vivid. Dave emails Dr Ixi with a side-by-side, along with profuse thanks for telling them where to look. Pete makes Kani an extra-nice dinner - the bread she likes, pesto in noodles, and a serving of the chili they made together yesterday (Kani didn't end up doing much besides stir and recite the recipe from memory, but she'd seemed happy to do that part - she complained about the boredom a lot, and this was something to do. And they all get chili out of it!)

She looks almost happy, eating it. When she asks what the occasion is, Dave surprises Pete by having a believable answer ready ("it's national aviation day!"), which Kani rolls her eyes about but doesn't press further on.

Oh! That's very exciting news. They revel in smugness (they correctly diagnosed an esper awakening) for longer than they'd like to admit before doing a few searches and composing a reply. 

Congratulations! I've attached some resources for important basics for newly-awakened espers, and a list of upcoming mixers in the area, if she wants to start looking for compatible guides right away.

The resources includes tips like "do NOT use your power without a source of guiding if you can help it", the difference between acute and chronic backlash and the dangers of both, information about esper agents, "if relevant to your biology, get access to a birth control implant before entering a guiding partnership Just In Case, as guiding can be extremely and unexpectedly physiologically intense", and more!

They stare at each other in horror, reading that last bit.

"Do you think -"

    "I would rather not think, actually! We can show it all to her once she finishes, and she can make her own decisions."

"Are you sure -"

     "She's always been conscientious with her health! I see no reason to expect that to change."

"...that's fair. But... I still might talk to her about it. While you're elsewhere."

     "Thanks."

Kani is getting so sick of this (which is, she admits in a tiny corner of her brain, at least a very different kind of unpleasant than what she'd been used to, lately...) But the week is almost over. Tonight, her fathers say, as though that makes any sense. (At least it makes more sense than  [??¿¿], which thankfully they've managed to shut up about. She's still a bit mad about the weird scribbles on the hospital paperwork, if she's being honest with herself.)

She decides to take a nap about it, curling up into her new normal sleeping position.

She dreams, as she often does, about the minutes and seconds before her world shattered - letting herself into Thrana's place after the missed phone calls, knowing that her friend is hurting badly but not suspecting how much, the anxiety rising as she calls out and hears nothing, seeing the note and the pile of things on the table, the rising chorus of no, no, no in her head...

And then she jolts awake, jostling her broken arm and yelping,

...her broken arm...

She has the stupidest fucking backlash ever???

...But! She's an esper!! And now her hell week is over!!!

"It's finally over!!!", they hear their daughter shout.

Pete runs in right away and gives her a huge hug, laughing with relief. "Oh thank the stars, Kankan, we were so worried - when we were pretty sure it was awakening it wasn't so bad, but that first night - you must have been so scared - oh you're so brave, I love you so much -" (she's making muffled noises of embarrassment, but she doesn't stop him).

He tells her not to use her power. She rolls her eyes. He repeats it, more seriously, but he's interrupted by Dave coming in with the shape cake he's been working on for the last day.

It's a shockingly-well-rendered (for the medium) fiberglass canoe, the fancy one in the color Kani asked for. Written on it in big letters is the text CONGRATS ON SURVIVING HELL WEEK!!

Kani laughs when she sees it. (None of them can easily recall the last time she laughed like that, but luckily this doesn't occur to them at the time and sober the mood). 

"...you don't actually have to get me a new canoe, if you don't want to. I know they're expensive," she says, her face returning to a normal amount of seriousness.

    "No, we're men of our word!" Dad insists.

        "But if you wanted to give us a bit of cash back once you start making esper money -"

    "Pete."

        "For being such amazing and patient fathers - "

    "Pete..."

        "While our dear precious daughter looked at like she wanted to stab us for daring to mention the broken arm and esper awakening we'd dropped everything to try and help her through -"

Kani starts laughing again. "I did want to do a bit of violence, by the end. Very well, dear fathers, I will see to it that some of my Esper Money makes it your way. For being such good sports." 

They eat the cake together, laughing and chatting about the various happenings of the week, Kani's usual misery hiding beneath the sheer relief she feels now.

They tell her some of what Dr Ixi had told them, including the fact that espers heal faster during their hell week - her arm will actually probably be good to use in a week or two, which is really exciting. It definitely feels less bad! She asks them to thank the doctor for her, and Dad pulls out his phone and types something up. She sighs happily.

In a few hours, though, Papa has to go out to take an evening shift (their supervisor has been pretty lenient, but there's a bit of a shortage and a lot of trail paths that need clearing before it gets any colder), and Dad's eyes are drooping from his early morning shift. She shoos him out of her room, wanting to have a bit more time to herself anyways.

She stretches and yawns. Her left hand brushes her flashlight, and following some unknown instinct, she -

[7 days, 1 hour, 11 minutes, and 53 seconds ago]: The flashlight falls out of Kani's hand and is placed on the bedside table. (Kani is confused and scared and in so so so much pain. Her backlash is preventing her from noticing that she has a broken arm, and several other small cuts and bruises. The painkillers haven't had time to kick in yet.)

[7 days, 1 hour, 34 minutes, and 40 seconds ago]: The flashlight, already shorted out, hits the ground along with Kani, and the glass in front of the bulb cracks. (Kani screams, drowning out the horrible crunch of her bones breaking. Her backlash has already fully sunk in, so there's no warning from the fall or understanding of why this is happening, just pain.)

[7 days, 2 hours, 5 minutes, and 22 seconds ago]: Kani presses the flashlight button repeatedly. It remains off, having drunk more than its fill from the carbon river. (Kani's backlash is still ramping up, so she notices a bit of confusion from the lack of light, but unfortunately, it's strong enough for her to conclude that it isn't a problem.)

[7 days, 3 hours, 9 minutes, and 50 seconds ago]: Kani brushes her fingers against the flashlight as she takes off her backpack and puts it dow-

...she drops the flashlight in shock, eyes open wide.

That - her power - she can see the past of something she's touching! That's - 

Wait, does this mean she could -

(Somewhere in the back of her mind, she remembers Dad telling her sternly not to use her power. But... surely just once, she's been so good and it hurts so much,)

She pulls open the drawer under her bed, breathing a bit too fast, mind barely thinking through the implications of anything besides the burning desire to know,

She digs past the pile of clothes she put to hide it and pulls out the huggable stuffed doggy that she once called Ms Weiner. She wraps her good arm around it, holding it tight, and - 

[97 days, 6 hours, 17 minutes, and 4 seconds ago]: Kani pulls Ms Weiner out of her backpack, and then shoves it to the back of the the drawer, hiding it behind layers of clothes she doesn't wear anymore. (Kani's hands are shaking horribly. She's weak, cowardly, she can't bear to see it, she needs to hide it - Thrana wouldn't want her to beat herself up - but Thrana is DEAD, so it really doesn't MATTER what she wants, does it!!!)

[97 days, 7 hours, 51 minutes, and 52 seconds ago]: First responders have already come and gone. Kani stuffs Ms Weiner into her backpack and then puts it on her back. (Kani has stopped crying, at this point, but she's still hyperventilating a bit. Nothing will ever be okay again.) 

[97 days, 8 hours, 22 minutes, and 37 seconds ago]: Kani finishes reading the note, sobbing, and grabs Ms Weiner, squeezing it tight against her body. It still smells like Thrana. (Kani sobs harder. She should have been here. Why, why, why,)

[97 days, 20 hours, 43 minutes, and 7 seconds ago]: Thrana gives Ms Weiner one final squeeze before placing it down among her other belongings that she wanted to be sure went back to their rightful owners. The note is already written. (Thrana is almost done. So close, now. She's almost free. Party's almost over. The helium will take her home.)

[97 days, 22 hours, 41 minutes, and 40 seconds ago]: Thrana is sobbing, lying on her bed, clinging to Ms Weiner. (Thrana can't stop thinking about the conversation at the bus stop in the rain, about the wretched party, and every time she closes her eyes and even when they're open it's like she's back there, like she never left, like her whole life is this unending cycle of torment, of finding Colu and then being left behind again and again and again. It doesn't stop. It hurts and it'll never, ever stop,)

[98 days, 10 hours, 12 minutes, and 21 seconds ago]: Thrana holds Ms Weiner under one arm while she waves goodbye to Kani as the bus leaves. (Thrana thinks about how easy it is, now, to keep a smile on her face while her insides churn horribly, but - poor Kani's been taking care of her all week, and she's obviously at the end of her rope. Thrana can manage. She doesn't want to be any more of a burden than she has been...)

[98 days, 19 hours, 22 minutes, and 13 seconds ago]: Kani hands Ms Weiner to Thrana, telling her to take it with her when they go back to her place tonight. (Kani is so worried about Thrana and so angry about everything that's happened to her, but - she's also impressed with how brave her best friend is. She hopes she's helping as much as Thrana says she is, and wants them to have something to remember her by.)

[99 - 

- and then her power cuts out as the rest of her brain does, the backlash hitting her all at once and knocking her further unconscious than she's ever been in her life.

When her Dad comes back in to check on her a few minutes later, she's lying crumpled in her bed, Ms Weiner held tightly in her arm. 

She's barely breathing, and she doesn't respond when shaken.