What? Huh? What the hell is this place? It... appears to have a sign, implying it's open to the public probably? Katie carefully opens the door and peeks inside without fully going inside so people can still see and hear her in the event she gets shot or stabbed or something.

The door has a bell on it which goes clinkle-clinkle. Nobody stabs her.

It's full of weird things - taxidermy and lovely fantasy maps and dried plants and art glass and a huge orrery that might be trying to represent the Firefly setting or something because it's sure not the Solar System and funny clockwork kinetic sculptures and a columnar glass enclosure full of weirdly giant butterflies and fancy rugs and furniture so eclectic it would strike a typical interior designer dead on the spot.

Behind the counter, there is a woman who looks maybe twenty, if that - the shop looks like it ought to belong to a wizened spinster - but at least she's dressed up as a witch, black robes and pointy hat and an armillary sphere in her hand. Spin spin spin goes the armillary sphere.

"Goooooood afternoon to you," she says.

"I'm uuuh, allowed to be in here, right?"

"Welcome welcome come in! You look like the most interesting visitor of all day long. Come here and let me have a look at you." She holds out her hands.

She steps in, cautiously. From the wording of the woman's sentence she's a little worried she's walking into some kind of weird LARP sex dungeon but female on female rape is pretty rare so she'll probably be able to just leave if that's the case. (No offense. It's not that the woman is ugly, just too skinny for her.)

Handclasp! (The door clinkles shut behind her.)

"Aha!" says the proprietor, and then her witch hat flies off because it has been displaced by the sudden appearance of gigantic bunny ears. "You are the most interesting visitor of all day! Did you know that you are a witch-in-waiting?"

Alright, the bunny ears push it over the line. Those have Connotations when placed on an otherwise human woman. "Alright, sorry if I'm being rude but I'm just gonna ask point blank. Is this a sex thing?"

"Not with me it is not, I'm taken."

"Well that's fine with me, you're not my type, so uuuh, proceed."

"Glad that is cleared all up! You are not a witch but you can walk out of here a witch, I am a professional time-to-be-a-witch-now person, it is called awakening. Free of charge to you, lots of people like having us professional awakeners professionally awakening. Much better results to do it here than by getting hit by a car or somesuch and letting your subconscious subconsciously subconscious you a power set. You get to pick what species you wish to be and which fun tidbits and phenomenal arcane powers you wish to have and what you will pay to get them!"

"I uuuh... Okay. Wow. I don't really know what to say here so I'm just gonna indicate that I approve of this and let you keep talking."

"Great! Now, nothing whatever is final till you say so, but you can have a look at your choices and decisions like so," and then there is a sort of virtual reality effect and they're not in the shop any more, and instead Katie is floating beside the proprietress's aura in a spangled void.

"Looks like way back in the familial tree you have... one two three four... a baker's dozen of possible things to be besides human - for witches we say 'neutral' instead of 'human', for connotation reasons, but mostly the same thing. If you always wanted to be a centaur now is your moment. Oh, you can also be the thing I am, though not necessarily of the hare variety, that is cosmetic..."

"No thank you on being a centaur, that'd come with a lot of accessibility issues and presumably I can ride around on a broomstick now or some shit so being able to run slightly faster isn't worth it. What are my options beyond that and the thing you are and 'neutral'?"

"Daeva - fancier jazzier human like a superhero comic book artist drew them. Naiad, mermaidy folks but they can have legs whenever. Lamia, snakes from the waist down. Luxal, can pass for human with funny contact lenses and jewelry decisions, metal bones and gemstone heart'n'irises though. Sylph, light as a feather and floating around always. Empusa, basically a vampire. Lilin, horns and batwings and tails. Tail. One tail to a customer. Dravir, dragony folks. Orc is what it sounds like. Jotun, frost giant, also accessibility issues. Dwarf, what it sounds like. Details on any of these?"

"I do have a question, but I'm afraid you'll judge me for it."

"I am the most professional," the witch assures her.

"Can uuuhhhhh.... can Daeva be fat? 'Like a comic book artist drew them' kind of implies otherwise."

"Daeva can! This rules out sylph and empusa - sylph because they weigh about nothing, empusa because you freeze how you are right at this now - but any other listed thing you can look how you wish as long as you look like the species you pick and all those species could be fat."

"Ok. Is there like, a catch to being a daeva, given that they're apparently just humans but prettier?"

"All species have their own magic affinities, mana charge methods, and extra perks you can take on top to be more special as a species member. So if you want magics that call for the soul affinity, neutral is better than daeva; if you want to charge by going to sleep, neutral is better than daeva; if you want to be both of a sorceress and a warlock for example, then the neutral perk is for you. But there is not per se anything to catch you if it sounds great! Daeva charge off emotions - directed at them from one person, like somebody being in love with you, or directed anywhere from a crowd, like going to the football game while everybody is yelling and planning to be hooligans. The bonus perk for daeva is to control your body extra - heart rate and temperature and need for oxygen and fertility sorts of things."

"Well uuuh, I don't know what any of these things are so can I maybe save the choice for later? As it stands, being prettier sounds nice, but sleep sounds like an easier way to recharge my mana, and though I don't know what a sorceress or a warlock is exactly being both of them sounds cool than the daeva perk, and anyways I can hopefully just use my powers to make myself prettier."

"You get to design how you look within parameters! Unless you pick the thing that makes you ugly and then you still can but the result will be ugly. Tabling species for later - warlock, sorceress, and academic are the three kinds of witch! Warlocks have patrons, gods or angels or demons or suchlike, giving quests for loot and magical powers; we can see who has made you an offer if you like the sound of this. Fastest way to get magical powers, and it never slows down. Sorceresses are the only ones who can do all the elementalism magic - everybody else has to stick to affinities and one more past that; get more powerful by practicing, but every time you redeem some practicing for valuable prizes it gets harder to do more of it. I am one of these. Academics are the booklearning types, lots of time in the library, most of the big inventors and theory folks are them, they have the same redeeming for valuable prizes gets harder every time thing but it's studying they trade in, which has the advantage that they do not need to spend mana to read a book. Each type has different magics that are in-affinity for the class - elementalisms obviously, for sorceresses, and also having a familiar; academics get fun utility things like portals and potions and runes, warlocks spooky things like summoning demons and curses and divination. Obvious standout among these, or more details?"

"You said if I'm a Neutral I get to pick two? Academic and warlock both sound good, assuming warlocks don't all inevitably get screwed over by their patrons. Also, there's a thing that makes you ugly? Why would you ever pick that?"

"For eight quantized power points. More if you're a warlock. But most people do not pick it. Neutral can with their perk be two - technically, pick two growth methods, must be underlyingly really one or the other for affinities and loots and stuff. Warlocks do not get inevitably screwed over, though you will have the same warlock boss forever so pick one you like. Let's see who it is who wants you... we have here Beelzebub, Annapurna, Chicōmecōātl, Acte, Sekhmet, and Tajimamori. I do not know most of these but your phone will connect to magic internet in my shop and you may look them up to see if anyone has left them favorable reviews. Beelzebub is a demon, that much I know."

"Think I'm leaning towards academic with bonus warlock growth method, then, though I'd still like to know more about their specific powers."

"Warlock growth method on academic base does not get you fabulous bribes, do you want to see what fabulous bribes all these people want to give you to be their warlock?"

"Ok, yeah, that sounds like something I should check out first."

Voilà.

Beelzebub is offering a Hell-themed magic motorcycle and an evil trident that is useful for torturing people. Annapurna's got a magic rock that'll make transmutations more convenient and upgrade magical witch currency, a gem of renewal which contains a small double of its witch which will take damage on its witch's behalf and can be healed accordingly, and magic glasses that can switch between aura sight and X-ray and heat vision. Chicōmecōātl is offering her servant dolls, a dollmaker's kit that can turn other people into Doll-race witches, and a sun shard (magic weapon). Acte is offering a vessel that produces magical nymph water, a magic mirror, some cold hard witchy cash, and hand-me-down witch clothes that will boost her potionmaking abilities. Sekhmet is offering a magic rifle and a magic bullet crafting situation to go with it, and also magic tattoo inks. Tajimamori is offering a deck of cards that can summon duplicates of other witches to fight for you like they're Pokémon or something, and a magic key that can make a way through any obstructive surface, and a magic cauldron so you can brew several potions in parallel.

"Wow, that's... A lot to consider. Wait, you mentioned some stuff about potionmaking, I thought that was an Academic thing?"

"Oh, anyone can learn it unless you take the thing that means you cannot learn something, it is only cheaper in magical power points for them. The Daeva affinity can also cheapen it - Life, in addition to Water and Nature."

"Oh, that's convenient. Do the discounts from race and class stack?"

"Yes! If what you want most in all the world is being an alchemist I would recommend any of daeva, naiad, taura, or luxal, as all those have alchemy affinity, and academic."

"What things are huma- uh, neutrals better at?"

"Not better, just cheaper. You can blow many points on a thing at full price if this sparks your joy. But for the soul and body affinity, runes, hexes, familiars, necromancy, consortation, divination."

"Consorwhatnow?"

"That's the demon summoning one."

"Yeah, those all sound pretty useful, I think I'll stick with Neutral. As for the warlock bribes, I don't know how to ride a motorcycle, so Beelzebub is out. Probably the same for the sniper rifle, though I'm curious what the tattoo inks do. Curious about the magic mirror too. And what even is a sun shard? Do you shoot beams of light with it, or just stab people with it, or what?"

"Many of those things are to be had on the open market, if expensively. Tattoo inks are for tattooing runes on your you. Or your somebody else or your cat or whatever. Magic mirror is for scrying, and you can send a copy of your mirror to where its scrying sensor is for video calls if you like, with anyone who can see the sensor in the first place - so, witches. Sun shards can copy possible shapes from other weapons if you bap them with it and it's glowy and weighs nothing for you but lots for whoever you hit, and it glows. You can meld it to your magic wand-staff-broomstick situation for convenience."

"Not totally sure which of the bribe packages I want but definitely one of them. Is there any equivalent special unique Academic perk I would be missing out on?"

"Learn two schools of magic as far as you can go - to rank five in your case - without spending points, just time. Can't have them today, because I'm doing points, but later. Delayed gratification, higher ultimate power ceiling."

"...God damnit that's tempting. How much time? Can't I also gain more powers by doing quests for my warlock patron, which also costs time but is probably more fun?"

"Two different things - power in pocket to spend, and power to have room for in your you. You can make both those things go up by taking complications - like the ugliness one but there are more to choose from. Academic boosts the second thing by making some magics not take power points and only take the time you would have needed for earning them. Put in a full time job amount of study for a week and get ten 'focus'. Spend ten focus for one power point... the first time. Twenty the next time, thirty, forty... per time you trade it in, so if you study full time job amounts for years and trade it all at once, best exchange rate. Spend on stuff right away and slow very down."

"God damnit, now I'm torn. I want to be as powerful as possible, but that sounds really frustrating and the warlock bribes sound so cool."

"Quite. Well, the bribe things you liked most are not unbuyable with money that you can get with power."

"Hmmm... But if I took the Neutral perk, I could get the higher power ceiling but still level up by doing fun quests and not just studying?"

"Still have to study for your no-power-point magic, but yes."

"I think I'll do that then. A lot of the items in the bribe packages don't sound very cool anyway. Actually, wait, hold on, how pretty are the magic potionmaking clothes?"

"Looks like -" Lots of pleats, dark green, big pockets and apron and elbow length sleeves, embroidered with newts and leaves and triangles. "Without these you can have your own altered any which witchy way, there is magic for it."

"Ehhh, yeah, still better to take the perk that can't just be bought with money."

"This one can't actually, to be clear, without it you will need to master potions elsewise."

"Wait, shit, how big of a boost does it give, then?"

"Cuts the cost of buying the magic in half, so, good if you are a warlock and do not have class affinity in potions, but you have to wear the outfit to brew. I think it is not a good deal for you if you lean academic, to be clear. But it is not possible to buy this specific witch's old clothes at witch Walmart."

"Ehh, potions doesn't sound that cool anyway. But also a lot of the ones that do sound cool are Warlock stuff. What all do Academics get? I remember runes but the coolness of that one depends a lot on specifics."

"Runes are how you make magic items! The one for your clothes and broomstick is also Academic affinity, and there's portals, and aethernautics which is like astronomy and dimensional physics together."

"Why must I be God's most indecisive soldier."

"That one is not offering you any bribes at all."

"I- uh, wait, Abrahamic God is real?"

"Probably! There is at least somebody who is quite big and not anybody else. The pan-Abrahamic witchy faction are pretty sure."

"The whatnow?"

"There are factions, you can be in one - it is sort of like picking a country to live in only it affects what magic you can get. There's a pan-Abrahamic faction and they are called the Watchers. I am for job reasons neutral about factions though I can say things about what's popular lately and what your other choices would work well with mechanicswisely."

"Aren't there like, rules against witchcraft in all three of the Abrahamic religions?"

"Not the sects full of witches!"

"I see. What are the other factions?"

"Two colleges called Arcadia and Hawthorne, the Feywilds ay kay ay the Alfheimr Alliance, Lunabella which is on the moon, the Hespatian Covens, and the O.R.C. - sort of magic law enforcement ish - and Alphazon - megacorp to own them all."