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team tyler's van
Isabella Swan is a high school student who gets struck by a motor vehicle
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Isabella Marie Swan is an unextraordinary, if not neurotypical, high school student in Forks, Washington.  Her senior year is unextraordinary, if not purely uneventful, for the first few months.  Many strange events entirely fail to occur.

Accordingly, when a van driven by a panicking teenager screams out of nowhere across an icy school parking lot towards Bella, the laws of physics apply in full force.  The pain is horrific, but brief.

There are processes that occur after an event like this.  On Earth, Charlie Swan is summoned to a scene on which there is no need to dwell.  Death is pronounced.  Family is notified.  Friends are told.  Teachers remove Bella from their class rolls.  Jessica cries.

Not at all on Earth, an entirely different process is derailed by the fact that the memories and beliefs of a certain soul cannot be analyzed.

This is rare, but not unprecedented.  Scans of many other souls from the same continuum are substituted to generate an proxy estimator for use in further routing.

『Analyzing... no consensus expectations for disposition of souls.』
『Focusing on souls from similar cultural backgrounds.  Analyzing... no consensus.』
『Clustering attitudes.  Analyzing predictive factors.  Weighting for specificity of belief to circumstances...』

In Bella Swan's continuum, many people her age have positive attitudes towards one particular scenario for who gets disposition of the soul, when a high school student dies after being struck by a motor vehicle.

When Bella opens her eyes again, she's sitting on a wide tatami mat floating within an endless blue sky, before a table set with two cups of steaming tea, across from a grandfatherly old man wearing a white kimono.

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"Uh.

Hello?"

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"How odd," says the grandfatherly old man.  "I can't seem to read your soul... oh.  It looks like you've already selected your 『Unique Skill』 to be 『Inviolable Mind』.  Well, we don't have long to speak, but I should have summoned a soul from a higher world that has roughly correct expectations about my current situation.  I am a God; one of my worlds needs a hero to save it from a Demon Lord; most things should be as you expect, given that.  If you have any other questions, please ask them quickly; time spent in this place is expensive."

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Bella opens her mouth. She closes her mouth. She opens it again and says, "Can I affect the world by altering my expectations?"

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"Not until you've realized a great deal more of your potential."  The old man looks fidgety; when he reaches for his cup of tea, he drinks it in a gulp rather than a sip.  "Was that all?"

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"If I come up with more questions that seem worth asking you is there a way to do that?"

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The old man shakes his head.  He takes another, larger gulp of his tea.  There probably isn't much left in the cup.

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"What do you mean about my potential?"

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The old man is starting to look nervous.  "It seems you're not as familiar with my situation as I hoped.  Yours is a soul of a higher world, entering a less orderly place.  Like everyone else in that position, you can expect a 『Unique Skill』, the ability to learn magic of any element, chant shortening, and the ability to reach truly great heights given time and trials.  But if you didn't know that already -"  The old man takes a final gulp of his tea and sets it down with a sharp clack.  "Then you'll have to seek the rest of the knowledge on your own.  Good luck."

And Bella is standing in the middle of a grassy plain.

There is a dusty, sandy road here.

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This is a stupid dream. Bella allows herself about fifteen seconds to attempt to take control of the dream and fly into the air.

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If this attempt at spontaneous 『Flight』 has any consequences, they aren't obvious or visible.

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Figures. Well. She checks herself for what possessions may be on her person. If it's the same stuff she was wearing when she got hit by the van she should have her backpack.

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Bella has her winter coat and jeans!  She's already starting to feel a little warm in the late-spring weather now around her.  Her backpack was still on her back, and if she looks inside, she'll find whatever she had inside there previously.

There's now a new belt through Bella's jeans, with a shiny silvery heavy buckle.  On her left side, this belt supports a short scabbard, maybe a half-meter in length, with a hilt rising up from it.

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She ignores the sword for the time being. Shucks backpack and coat, fishes out notebook, writes down everything the dude said as best she can remember, backfills what her questions were.

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The Sun moves a little bit downward in the sky, at the usual pace as time passes.  An occasional breeze stirs the dusty road in front of Bella.

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She walks down the road in the direction she was originally facing.

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The plains are hilly.  Not very hilly, nothing compared to the mountains in the distance, but sloped enough that now and then Bella crests a hill and sees... more road and more grass, mostly.

Oh, wait!  Is that the sound of faint yelling?  Maybe the distant clash of swords?  It's coming from further down the road, maybe from behind the next set of hills, or the hills after that.

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Okay. Bella has a sword and will fucking kill herself if she tries to go use the sword for anything. So she's going to take a moment and see if she has any fucking... magic spells. Can she conjure a li'l bit of lightning, is that an element. Or fire, that's even likelier. Chant shortening was a thing, suppose she makes up a long chant, does it work if you make them up. "Invulnerability invulnerability invulnerability invulnerability invulnerability." She pinches her arm.

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The pinch might hurt a little less?  It's hard to be sure.  There isn't any lightning, certainly.  Or fire.  There might be a sudden breeze if she talks about air, but who knows, that could be a coincidence.

(If the sword has any advice for Bella, her 『Inviolable Mind』 isn't hearing a word of it.)

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Okay, inventory. Phone. No signal. 911: also no. Textbooks calculator homework notebooks pens pencils ibuprofen. Sword. She inspects the sword; maybe it can go fight bad guys on its own by flying through the air and is merely shaped like a sword for aesthetic reasons.

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The sword definitely feels rather... wieldy, for a piece of metal this size.  Like it's not hard at all to move it around.  Like it goes where Bella wants it to go.

By the way, Bella may or may not have noticed before now that she has yet to trip on her feet even once while walking on unpaved dirt slopes.

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She was being careful, but in retrospect that's suspicious! She pulls out the sword, gives it a swing.

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Whatever Bella had in mind for that swing, it is exactly what happens.

That's definitely a scream from the other side of the hill, by the way.  It's not the kind of scream you associate with sudden, unexpected happiness.

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Yeah, okay, she'll break into a tentative jog and speed up from there.

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Bella's feet go where Bella's mind wants!

When Bella reaches the top of the hill, she'll see a carriage with two horses.

On the ground beside the carriage lie two motionless women in shining plate mail, blood leaking from wounds that look kinda fatal.  It's mixing with the blood from five motionless men wearing dirty leather and with rusty weapons scattered around them.

Two men in dirty leather remain.  One is almost to the carriage, holding a bloodied longsword.  The other must have heard Bella rounding the hill, because he fires a crossbow aimed at Bella the moment she enters his vision.

Bella will dodge this bolt before she has a chance to think about the process literally at all.

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whatthefuckwhatthefuck

"Hey, uh, stand down!"

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The one with the crossbow, who saw Bella dodge, looks for one second like he might be considering it.  The other man screams a string of expletives (which Bella understands as easily as English) and turns to rush at Bella.  When he does, the other guy drops the spent crossbow, yanks out a sword of his own, and rushes up the hill beside his compatriot.

Bella has maybe three seconds to decide what to do about that.

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Bella's gonna try to figure out the language bullshit later! She will charge at the men, sword drawn, going "AAAAAAH," and then dive between the two of them and somersault down the hill for the plate mail ladies at whom she will attempt to chant "healhealhealhealhealhealheal" in case that works.

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This will require Bella to parry a couple of attempted swordstrikes in passing, but that's roughly as easy as thinking about where the sword needs to be in order to parry the strikes, so no problem.

Plate mail ladies:  Still dead so far as Bella can tell!

Her chanting does seem to have made the other combatants more wary of her, as they turn around to head back at Bella.  She might notice the former crossbow-holder's eyes briefly flickering to the plate mail ladies, as if to make sure that they are, in fact, still dead.

"Bluffing," says that one in a low voice.  "I think."

The two are approaching Bella more slowly now, the distance between them widening, with clear intent to come at her from two sides at once.

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Oh good slow movement means more time to think. Bella makes sure she can see both of them and gives "resurrectresurrectresurrectresurrect" a shot, since apparently her opponents think this isn't completely ludicrous.

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Bella's total failure to cast this epic-level spell seems to give heart to the two combatants.  They launch a sudden flurry of attacks at her, from two sides.

Bella seems to be parrying them all, for now.  It's probably not a very reassuring experience for her.  If Bella has ever played a video game long enough to get to the point where she can carry out maneuvers on reflex that she'd have no chance of doing with conscious thought, that's what she currently seems to be doing on a continuous basis, in the process of very quickly and repeatedly bashing away swords before they can pierce her.  Anyone observing the angles at which she's deflecting blows, such as the two combatants, will easily conclude that she has no actual  『Sword』 skills.

Would Bella like to try to kill or wound either of these two people?  They're sincerely trying to do that to her.

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Well she sure seems to be out of alternatives doesn't she! Let's try to get one of these guys hamstrung, or unable to use his sword arm, whichever seems more accessible.

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Blood.  Not Bella's blood.  Whether any of the screaming is Bella's screaming is up to her.  Her body won't be nauseated, but only she can determine how her mind feels about the bloody hand lying in the dirt before her, still clutching a longsword.  She meant for the sword to be in that place, edge out, cutting; she must have, because the sword goes where she means it to go.  Did Bella mean for there to be a bloody hand lying in the sand afterwards?

The man she's unhanded is trying to jam the hand into his own chest, maybe to stop the flow of blood, maybe to stop the pain.  The other man, the one who originally fired the crossbow bolt at her, has backed off from her a few steps while holding his sword in a defensive position.  "We'll take one quarter of the loot from the bodies, the carriage," he says in a harsh voice.  "Enough for my friend to get a 『Full Heal』.  You can have the rest of the loot, and the boy if you want him.  Deal?  You want more, you'll have to fight for it, and I doubt you can keep that 『Haste』 up much longer."

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Bella was kind of expecting more resistance to actually slicing through a dude's wrist but she's not going to choose this moment to complain, let alone to assess whether her sword is the Subtle Knife. Why does she hear punctuation marks. Not the time. "Fine," she says, attempting to speak whatever this is but having no particular expectation that she can do it in that direction till she tries it.

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In much the same way Bella now knows how to walk without tripping, she seems to know how to make her tongue say "Fine" in another language.

The guy with two hands takes a leather strap from the backpack of one corpse, and ties off his fellow's hand.  After that, the guy with one hand will keep to himself, gritting his teeth, occasionally emitting choked sounds, and staring at Bella with hate in his eyes.  He never takes his eyes off her, as the other guy loots pouches from the corpses on the ground, the ex-bandits and the two women in platemail.  Would Bella like to check his work, or check pouches herself, to see how much loot he's taking versus leaving for her?  She could also try to kill him while his hands are busy, if she's so minded.

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Bella keeps an eye on what he's taking but she doesn't know these denominations so unless it all happens to be identical coins she's just going to watch him and not nitpick.

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The guy is taking rather more than a quarter of the coins inside the pouches, though Bella has no way of knowing this without doing her own examinations.  Then again, he's leaving behind some valuable-looking platemail armor, to say nothing of the carriage and the horses required to transport it.

That guy is now approaching the door of the carriage, with a clear intent to open it, holding a wary sword and looking ready to dodge.  Does Bella care to say or do anything before this event plays out?

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"You don't think you've had enough? Should I check?"

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The guy stops and sends a harsh look at her.  "If there's any treasure in the carriage, I get a quarter, as agreed," he growls.  "You want to be the one to open it?  Be my guest, but be careful of the boy.  Guards like those, his family's rich enough for him to know magic."

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"Uh-huh. Stand back."

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As soon as the carriage door opens, a crossbow bolt will come out.  This one is from a higher-quality crossbow at nearly point-blank range.  It clips some of Bella's hair, and if the boy had guessed her location better, it might have wounded her before she could dodge far enough.

There is an angry teenage boy Bella's age here.  He drops the crossbow and begins to chant, in a way that feels like slightly different language bullshit to hear, "I offer you seven offerings of my mana, spirits of fire, to -"

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"Cut that out! I am the only person here who doesn't want your stuff!"

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Considering things from the boy's perspective, he has, of course, overheard the fight and the conversation that followed.  He now needs to perform a rapid mental calculation which includes the fact that his crossbow bolt missed, his spell takes a long time to cast, he isn't really much of a combatant, there's no way in hell he can recast this spell in time if he cancels it now, the strange girl might honestly mean to leave him alive and unenslaved, the strange girl isn't wearing an Adventurer's Guild plate, she agreed to divide up loot instead of fighting both bandits to the death -

The strange girl his age is dressed very peculiarly.

This, more than anything else, causes Haroun Pevers to cancel his spell.  "- do the unfulfillable clause.  Who are you and what are you planning to do?" he says, keeping his voice as calm as he can manage considering that Marussa and Aralin are DEAD.

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"My name is" what if this is one of those stupid fantasy universes where telling people your name does spooky shit "not important. I wanted to open the door so that stabby guy didn't decide to stab you while casing the vehicle. He wants enough money to put his friend's hand back where it belongs and his friend has not decided to cast any aspersions on his honesty about it, do you know what that tends to run?"

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It takes longer for Haroun to process this than he should.  His brain isn't in the best of shape.  If he thought that the girl herself was in a low-stress situation with lots of time to carefully compose her sentences, he might have blamed her for poor communication; as it is, he's a bit more understanding than that.

Haroun moves forward cautiously, to take a look out of the carriage door if she'll let him.  The meaning of her words is clearer when he sees the bandit nursing an arm-stump, and another surviving bandit who's reloading a crossbow.

Reattaching a severed hand... calls for a 『Full Heal』, right.  "Somewhere between... five and fifteen gold," Haroun says slowly.  Oh.  He hesitates before speaking again, but it's not like they can't just drag him out and search him and take what they want.  "If you tell him to count out whatever he's taken so far, I can try to fill in the rest up to ten gold," Haroun offers, just to see if the strange girl has cowed the bandits enough that they'll take that offer and go.

Is it just his imagination or is the weave on her shirt insanely regular?  He's seen spider-silk threads woven more finely than that, but not in such a ridiculously perfect triangular array.

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"My eyes are up here. Stabby, count what you've got, please."

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Stabby will count out a heap of twenty-seven silver coins in one hand, which he then shows to Bella.  A cynical mind would suspect that this was not, in fact, his entire gains.  Stabby also fails to say anything conveniently helpful for a recently isekaied protagonist such as "By the way, twenty-seven silver converts to the following amount of gold."

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"Pretty sure you had more than that."

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All right, the Haste-using girl isn't a complete idiot.  Stabby tries showing her fifty-eight silver coins and one gold piece, along with a carefully measured amount of resentment about his clever plans having been so utterly foiled.

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"Dude. Work with me here before your buddy bleeds out."

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Seventy-two silver and two gold?

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Is that about how much gold she saw enter his hands out of the pouches?

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She doesn't remember seeing either of the two gold coins he's showing her now, actually.  The amount of silver seems about right.

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"Hey, fire spell guy, how many silver to a gold and how much is, uh, a loaf of bread."

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...girl in mysterious clothes doesn't know how many silver to a gold "Seventeen" there's nowhere for a thousand leagues in any direction where that conversion factor differs and if she botched a 『Teleport』 from the other side of the planet why is she speaking his language "uh, half a copper and it's twenty-nine copper to the silver?"

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That is a stupid conversion factor! Ugh, old-fashioned English pounds were bad too. Okay so a copper is like, four bucks, and thirtyish of them is a silver and she's not going to go get her calculator no matter how tempting that is and thirty times four is uh a hundred twenty because that's two hours and seventeen times a hundred twenty is... okay, she's not nickel and diming some lead-poisoned unfortunate, here. "Thank you. Stabby, I'm not totally clear on where you are stashing the gold so I can't just ask you to turn it inside out, but please do turn out the silver pouch and explain where the gold's coming from."

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Stabby obligingly turns out the pouch, showing it perfectly empty.  In response to the second part of her question, he pats his crotch.  "Hid the gold here," he says, and doesn't smile or leer or ask if she wants a look at his remaining treasure.  The bandit cradling his arm lets out a bark of pained laughter to make up for it.

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"So you're saying that if you don't convince me you have produced all the gold I should stab you in the crotch about it."

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Stabby hesitates, then deliberately levels the crossbow, not at her, pointed in an arc away from her, but readied as a weapon.  "You want to strip me naked and search me, I'll have to say no," Stabby says.  "Got my dignity too, woman.  Four gold.  From you, from him, from the carriage, I don't care.  But like you say I've got a friend bleeding."

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"What do you think of that, fire spell guy."

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"Six gold isn't a quarter of what Marussa and Aralin," a stab of emotional pain, "would have, would have been carrying.  Even if you count in all his friends.  More like three-quarters of what all of them put together would have been carrying.  If you're the sort to kill people for lying, go ahead and kill him, I'd say."

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"I'm really not. Look, Stabby, Stabby's Friend, just go get your healing thingy."

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"I left you the armor, the carriage, and the horses," Stabby says coldly.  "That's worth eighteen gold and more.  If you're the kind to honor your bargains, Outlander, then give me four gold."

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"I am the only person here who doesn't want this guy's stuff. I am not assessing his stuff for its resale value. Fire spell guy, what do you think, is getting this guy to maybe leave without more of a fight except for the part where he's not very trustworthy worth four gold?"

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Marussa and Aralin were carrying their funds.  Four gold is about as much as Haroun has on him.

It's not as much as his life is worth.

Everybody here can kill him.

"I certainly don't think he's worth six gold plus four gold not to kill, but you're the one with the power so I guess it's up to you," Haroun says, as he collects four gold from his pouch and turns it over to the strange girl.  He doesn't understand what she's thinking.  "Uh, you do realize he's probably going to kill more people if you let him go, right?"

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"It's crossed my mind." She tosses the gold to Stabby.

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Haroun proceeds to watch as Stabby picks up his friend and they walk/stagger quickly away.  Marussa in particular, she wasn't, Harold can't claim that she was his wet-nurse, she was only hired a year ago, Haroun didn't have a crush on her she was with Aralin.  But Marussa told stories when they traveled together.  She'll never tell any stories again.  Part of his mind, it might or might not be the part that's in shock, muses distantly about how the pain of losing a not-too-close friend seems in some strange way compounded by the pain of losing all the cash he has on him, and seeing it given to the killer, by a woman who could as easily have dispensed justice, but didn't.

The strange girl could have her reasons.  A vow, a 『Geas』, a custom of her people.  Her clothes fall off if her sword takes a life.

"What now?" Haroun says to the woman.  His hands are trembling on his mage-robes.  He keeps it together anyways.

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"Well, so far everyone I've met has immediately tried to murder me but you stopped when I suggested instead not doing that so you have the honor of being the friendliest person I've met today, can you tell me where I am."

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Haroun has thought of the obvious guess.  It's an obvious-but-crazy guess, like meeting somebody in a tavern who looks like a portrait of the King, and wondering if, hey, maybe that is the King.  Only even less likely than that.  There's dozens of Kings all over the world.

And at the same time, if you've seen a portrait of the King, and you meet somebody knocking back beers in a tavern who looks like exactly like that portrait, it is an obvious-if-crazy thought that maybe they're the King.  You're at least going to think of it.

"You mean like where's the nearest town, or like which world have you been summoned to?" Haroun says, trying to sound like he thinks that's a totally ordinary question.

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"Second thing. Is there some kind of support group?"

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Haroun is going to be embarrassed about this for the rest of his life:

He literally faints.

It's been kind of a day for him, okay?

Bella is facing a carriage with an open door.

There are two horses hitched to the carriage.
There are two dead guards here.
There are five dead bandits here.
There is an unconscious boy here.

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Ugh. Okay. Bella has ever listened to her parents about basic first aid. She wipes off her sword in the nearest clean looking grass (thanks, Narnia!) and sheathes it because it's probably magic and she shouldn't leave it lying around, and then she repositions him appropriately and checks his pulse.

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Pulse... maybe 100?  It seems to be slowing more than speeding up.

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Fire Spell Guy is breathing, his legs are above his heart, she has loosened his collar, that's about all she can do here. She looks around inside the carriage, not expecting to be able to use the contents but figuring she might as well know what they are.

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There's storage underneath where the boy was sitting, a huge chest.  It contains some food for humans, some fodder for horses.  Not much of either, nor much in the way of other camping supplies.  There's three cups, recently used, but no sign of stored water.  A few changes of clothing that might fit the boy and the dead women.  Multiple bundles of something that feels like they might be heavy stacks of papers, wrapped in slick cloth.

Also three thin books!  Their titles are Second-Year Fire Magic, Second-Year Water Magic, and Second-Year Light Magic.

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Okay, if he doesn't wake up she will not starve and the horses won't starve, she supposes.

She stares at the titles of the books, trying to figure out how this bullshit language power works. Does she know etymology facts? Can she rhyme and scan in it as fluidly as she can in English, which isn't very but is better than she can manage in Spanish? Can she make puns. Does she know any literary references. Could she put on multiple accents. Does she know what the accent she used by default signifies. What about the spellcasting language. Are there any more surprise languages in here, perhaps discovered via etymology facts.

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Bella instinctively understands her new language abilities about as well as human beings instinctively understood their own language abilities three thousand years before Noam Chomsky was born!  She knows nothing about etymology.  She's not sure she knows any words, really, just... uses words correctly every time she tries to think of a sentence in the new language?  She can produce rhyming sentences if she likes.  She can think of words that sound like grash (horse fodder) such as glash (dagger) and maybe if she plays around with that enough she'll be able to produce a funny pun.  She can talk like Fire Spell Guy did or talk like Stabby did, though she'd be hard-pressed to come up with any particular thoughts about the difference.  If she tries to generate a third accent, she won't be able to think of any.

The spellcasting language... she can remember some of the words Fire Spell Guy used.  Manca, offer.  Súlënár, spirit of fire.  She does not know any other words in this language.  She can't seem to imagine any new sentences in it.  She can't rearrange words she remembers Fire Spell Guy using in a new pattern that feels grammatical.

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She can read and speak; can she write? Can she do things like verb nouns? She wants to go back and get her coat where she dropped it on the hill but doesn't want to leave poor Fire Spell Guy alone and unconscious. She waits and occasionally nudges him with her foot.

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She can write!  She has good handwriting too!  The symbols look just like the ones on the cover of those magic books.  She knows how to verb nouns, though in this language it seems you have to verbize nouns, judging by the results.  She doesn't know what this language is called, by the way - that proposition seems to lie on the other side of some hard-to-define but surprisingly solid border between skills and memories, or maybe it's knowing the labels for concepts versus knowing facts about the world.

Foot-nudging: fails, fails, fails, works perfectly.

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"Hello. You fainted. You okay?"

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Haroun Pevers awakens with his foot being nudged by the Summoned Hero, who's right there and looking down at him.

There's no cultural equivalent of this experience in terms of Bella Swan's Earth.  If one tries to translate it anyways, it might go like this:  Remember how George Washington kept slaves, but also played an important role in history?  Remember how Thomas Edison treated his assistants poorly, but also played an important role in history?  Remember how Isaac Newton believed a lot of crazy stuff, but also played an important role in history?

Now imagine that George Washington, Thomas Edison, Isaac Newton, William Shakespeare, Babe Ruth, Paris Hilton, and the historical Jesus are all the same person, and that person is Cthulhu, and if you meet them personally it means a nuclear war is going to start in the next few months.

The first words out of Haroun's mouth are, "I'm sorry, I was almost out of mana - I tried casting some spells, earlier on -"

It seems to matter to him deeply that Cthulhujesus knows he wasn't just a weak little boy.

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"I remember, I appreciate that you stopped trying to set me on fire, it was very gracious. I - look, I don't know your relationship to the women outside, I don't even know if my read of this whole highway robbery situation is right, I'm really sorry to have dropped in on you like this, I don't think I have made things worse for you unless you were otherwise going to toast Stabby and his friend but it's apparently a very mixed blessing if that, I apologize. That having been said where am I."

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Haroun visualizes being transported to another world and asks himself what he'd like to know first.

"There's a small town called Relis further in the same direction down this road after traveling another (an expression for an uncertain duration that evaluates to 1.6-4.8 Earth hours).  We can probably still make it before nightfall.  You're in the kingdom of Relica.  The sun above us is called different things in different kingdoms but here we call it Elhom, so in our terms the planet is Elhom IV.  Elhom IV has periodically appearing Demon Lords who show up at around the same time as Heroes, and try to kill everyone in general plus you personally.  I hadn't heard about the Demon Lord before now, so if they have assassins out looking for you it's still pretty quiet.  You represent an incredible amount of bad news for a lot of powerful people who aren't in the habit of taking bad news well, or huge opportunities for anybody who wants more power than they already have.  If I were in your boots I'd try to be less visibly from-another-world while I got my bearings.  I'd offer you shelter at my family home, but it's another week's travel, and you sort of gave away all of the money we would have needed to get there.  I've got enough left for one night's hosting for us in Relis, and if you want to stick with me any further than that, one of us has to earn some money before we can go any further."

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"I apologize about the money thing but at the time I was batting one out of three on orientation to person place and time so it didn't seem like a good opportunity to commit my first homicide. Do you have a loose guess about how somebody with whatever powers I'm likely to have - so far I've just noticed creepy levels of twitch with the sword and a cure for my neurological balance disorder - makes money around here?"

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It's been a while since the last Summoned Hero.  As of this point, it hasn't yet occurred to Haroun that Bella is previously from a nonmagical universe, or that she wouldn't already have her own Skills.  His natural interpretation of the question is that he's meant to guess what Skills she would have, since a Summoned Hero must have too many of those for her to start listing them; and for him to guess how she can make money accordingly.  "Creepy levels of twitch" and "neurological balance disorder" didn't translate in especially helpful ways.

"There's a minor dungeon, an hour or two east of Relis, if I'm remembering correctly.  We could get you registered at the Adventurer's Guild and you could go clear it out tomorrow; that'd get you plenty of money.  Don't smash the core though, that'll cause all kinds of trouble."  Haroun glances up to estimate the position of the Sun.  He was out for... a quarter of 1.6 hours, maybe?  "Uh, should we get moving if we want to get to Relis before nightfall?  Or can you just -"  Haroun makes a vague gesture meant to imply the girl picking up the carriage and running to Relis directly.

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"- can I just what? If I have the ability to teleport it's hiding. Like I said, all I've noticed is the sword thing and no longer tripping all the time."

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Haroun is confused.  "What do you mean, if you have the ability to teleport it's by hiding?"  Bella is speaking fluently, but this introduces some grammatical ambiguities that aren't quite like the corresponding English ambiguities.  Haroun is imagining Bella pretending to teleport through turning invisible and sneaking around.

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"I do not have introspective access to my powerset. I have tried some stuff based on incredibly scant and cryptic information from the guy who dropped me here and none of it worked. I didn't notice I could use the sword till I tried swinging it and wasn't confident about the balance issue being gone till after that. Oh, and the language thing. I can try more stuff but I do not know what literal base level actions constitute trying nor what might work."

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She doesn't have introspective access to - !

"Are you saying you just got a bunch of new high-ranked Skills and you don't know how they work?"  This explains something about the size of craters left behind when Summoned Heroes fight.  "Stop trying things!"

Unfortunately, Haroun also speaks this language fluently and idiomatically.  The way in which he says "stop trying things" is by using an idiom based on a historical reference that will sound to Bella vaguely like "Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra" which carries an undertone of "don't randomly try launch codes for nuclear weapons".

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"So, uh, my language power also doesn't work all that well and that sounded very urgent and I'm not clear what it meant."

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"...you want to get started towards Relis while we keep talking?"

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"Do you know how to drive? I've... it's not that I've literally never been this close to a horse but I don't know how to operate one, let alone one drawing a vehicle."

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Haroun checks the horses.  He probably should have done that earlier.  They seem fine as far as he can tell, though.  No visible wounds.  He's not exactly a 『Tamer』.

Haroun ensconces himself in the driver's position for the carriage.  Driving wasn't his job, but he knows how to do it adequately, if not well.  Does the Summoned Hero want to ride in the carriage or stride alongside?  Striding beside will make it easier to talk.  (Obviously the Summoned Hero will have enough stamina that she could sprint all the way to Relis without getting tired.)

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"I'll walk for now, might want to hop in later if my feet start hurting. Do you mind if I go get my coat, I dropped it and have no real reason to expect to need it but leaving it lying around doesn't seem great."

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If George Washington was a nuclear weapon and he asked you if it was okay for him to grab his coat, would you tell him no?  Haroun neither.

"Go ahead."

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She goes and gets her coat. She jogs, it's exciting and novel that she can jog now that she isn't doing it around dudes with swords. She stashes coat and backpack in the carriage but takes out her notebook so she can write while she walks, because she can probably do that here. She collects all the bodies, tries to load them into the carriage in the least bleedy way possible, for possible later looting and burial or whatever they do around here. And she falls into step beside Haroun. "So, the very urgent thing I didn't understand, what was that in minimally idiomatic terms."

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"Elhom IV has a cycle.  Hunters gather and form villages, villages form towns, dungeons spawn, cities form around the older and larger dungeons, with adventurer's guilds, and mage academies once there's a source of mana potions and enough paper for books.  The Demon Lord and Summoned Hero show up.  They fight.  If the Hero is stronger, kingdoms that are far enough away will keep enough of their cities to survive.  Otherwise the cycle starts over.  I'm not sure what Skill a Summoned Hero uses when there's a mountain in her way and she feels like obliterating it instead of taking the long way around, but trying all of your new Skills in order doesn't seem like such a great idea."

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"What do you mean 'in order'? How would there be an order to the things I don't have any introspective access to? Also: the dungeons spawn? Like, they just appear? And they're a natural resource and not just a weird hazard?"

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It is starting to dawn on Haroun that Summoned Heroes may not just be epic adventurers from another place with more powerful monsters and skills, who get called in to clean up his own lesser dimension's dirty laundry.  Summoned Heroes may be more different than that, and come from a more different place.

Haroun considers the hints he's been getting so far, extrapolates in the same direction he's been updating so far, and tries jumping ahead.

 

"Don't take this the wrong way, especially if the answer is no, but were you actually some manner of weirdly-shaped monster from an utterly different and alien dimension, who just got granted human form and speech?"

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"Uh, I suppose it's distantly possible that my entire sensorium is rendering the people I encounter including myself into a form I feel more comfortable with, but assuming you actually look like I'm seeing you, you appear to be a member of my species, and I think I am the same shape I was before I got here minus the lethal injuries. Two arms, two legs, two eyes, hands, that kind of thing. I've mentioned the language situation, so I guess you could say I've been granted human speech in the sense that this is human speech and I was granted it? But the phonemes in this language, whatever it's called, would have mostly been pronounceable without it, I think. Differences from my dimension that I have so far noted are that we don't have magic, enjoy a higher tech level, do not regularly even on an infrequent basis host visitors from other dimensions at least not as a matter of common knowledge, don't have a demon lord problem, uh, live on the third planet around our sun instead of the fourth..."

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Don't have magic?  Enjoy a higher tech level?

Mysterious language skills have limits.  Bella's native concepts don't carve Haroun's reality at its joints.  In his conceptual universe, there are elemental Skills like 『Fire Magic』 or 『Light Magic』.  There are 『Sword』 Skills and 『Tamer』 Skills and 『Smithing』 Skills.  There's nothing that stands out to him about the difference between quenching a sword's steel to harden it, and carving runes on the hilt to strengthen it.  The concept Bella tried to convey is something like "we have no fish", meaning to say that whales and dolphins are still around, as said to somebody who's never heard of the category "mammal".  Bella can notice problems like that, but only if she slows down to mentally re-hear her own words after she's fluently spoken them; she's less likely to notice if she's distracted or already speaking her next sentence.

In this case, it comes out roughly as "we don't have rituals-or-invocations-that-trigger-Skills, and have more powerful Skills-that-produce-durable goods".

Haroun would love to hear more about all of this, though.  "Third planet from your sun?  Wouldn't that be much hotter than here?  And what do you mean, you're the same shape minus lethal injuries?  How do you subtract lethal injuries from a shape to change it?  Uh, do we mean the same thing by subtraction?  Like, nine minus three is six..."  Haroun then pauses, wondering if that's an unambiguous example of subtraction.  He thinks it is?  But maybe he should have used larger numbers with no common factors, in case he's missing some other relation between 9, 3, and 6.  It does seem clear that the Summoned Hero and him are having some communications difficulties, so he needs to be careful about that kind of thing.

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"This is within normal temperature range for my planet. Nine minus three is six, yes. I do not know exactly what process leads me to be currently physically intact, but I had a very injurious accident right before the conversation I had with that guy who called himself a god about how he was going to drop me here. 'Minus the lethal injuries' is a figure of speech. Talking without figures of speech is very hard. I can try harder if it's going to keep sidetracking you from explaining whatever thing you were so urgent about before though."

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"I'm worried I might have a lot of wrong ideas.  I want to ask how you were lethally injured, and who was that guy who called himself a god, but - maybe even before then - can you just explain in general who you were, where you're from, and how being Summoned really works?"

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"Yeah. I will try to do it without figures of speech. Uh, I am from a planet called Earth, and a nation called the United States, which is so called because it is a group of fifty sub-nations called states which all operate as a single country together. I was born in a state called Washington. To, uh, a mother and a father, who were at the time married. He's a law enforcement officer in the small town where I was born - small is like, uh, three thousand people ish. She's a teacher of five year o- she's a teacher of children who are about this tall," gesture, "I don't know how long your years are. He does things like stop people from minor acts of vandalism and public intoxication because the town isn't big enough to have major crimes on a routine basis. She teaches the kids to, like, count and read and hold scissors correctly, stuff like that. They got a divorce when I was a baby and I moved with my mother to the state of Arizona where we lived in a city, uh, I don't recall how big it is but at least a couple orders of magnitude bigger than the small town, maybe more than a million people? Uh, we lived in a house and I started attending school when I was this tall," gesture. "When I... had been my current height but not for very long... my mom married a guy who professionally plays a ball game for the entertainment of an audience some of whom attend in person and pay for tickets and some of whom watch the games in their homes with the use of non-magical devices that reproduce the visual and sound experiences of being present at the games for them. His job is based out of the state of Florida. I didn't feel like moving to Florida so I decided to go back to Washington with my dad, and transferred to the school for people in my age range there. Where I studied, uh, calculus and history and literature and chemistry and stuff, and got an exemption for physical education because I'd just hurt myself because I had a balance disorder. My dad got me a truck, which is a vehicle that goes by itself without horses, instead burning a kind of liquid fuel to run a machine inside of it to make the wheels turn, and I used the truck to go to school and the grocery store and the beach and stuff. Some other students at the school also had similar vehicles. And one day one of them lost control of the direction of his vehicle on the ice on the ground, and skidded, and crashed into me and hurt me really badly.

And my next experience was of not being injured and sitting on some kind of uncomfortable rug thing in the middle of the sky with no obvious ground below, except it was still blue in every direction, which isn't what I expect of planetless sky? With two cups of tea and an old man who told me he was a god and that there was a demon lord and - hang on, I wrote down what I remembered of what he said when I appeared here." She swings her backpack around to her front and digs out the notebook.

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Haroun listens in utter fascination.  If he tries to ignore some of his preconceptions - "You were a student scholar, your mother taught children, and your father was - is - a guardsman.  You weren't expecting to be summoned here, you got run over by - by an alchemically powered thing that does what a carriage does, but without the horses - and there's a weird old man with tea who's behind the whole Summoned Heroes business?  Am I making this all out correctly?"

Haroun will buy as much of this fascinating information as Bella will sell him!  If it's free he will buy literally all of it.

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"I think student scholar implies that it's less common than it is. In the United States it is typical to continue education till one is slightly older than me and common to keep going after that. Alchemical also sounds off, I think? Implies the wrong.. genre, metaphorically speaking."

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"But you were studying the rate at which things change?"  (This being what calculus sounded like to him.)  "That sounds like pretty high-class subject matter for my world.  Does everybody study the rate at which things change?  What's it mean to have a carriage with no horses from a different kind of literature?"

Haroun will keep going like this until he falls over from lack of sleep, if Bella doesn't stop him.  Imagine the behavior of a very young boy in a candy shop where all the candy is free, who's never actually had anyone explain to him about stomachaches.

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"Uh, the rate at which things change is a subset of math and everybody studies math but not everybody is good enough at it to get that far. 'Genre' was a metaphor. Like... is setting a pile of logs on fire 'alchemy'? It's just setting something on fire, and then doing stuff I have not learned about with the fire to cause the engine to move."

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"Am I asking the right questions here?  I mean, is the fact that rate-of-change studies is a kind of math, and that setting a pile of logs on fire can make a carriage move without horses, a deep clue about the nature of reality where you come from and the key to great and powerful Skills?  Or is it just a bit of trivia?"

It hasn't occurred to Haroun that Bella is in the middle of taking out her notebook in order to answer one of his previous questions about weird tea god guy.  He's not making a deliberate decision to ask this question instead.  It's just that any form of silence is an unbearable temptation to ask even more questions.

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"- we don't make things move with logs, that's just an example of a thing that I do not think of as alchemy and think is similar to setting vehicle fuel on fire. I feel like the exact ways in which you keep getting confused might be useful tria- uh, might be useful for figuring out how to communicate better about things like whatever urgent thing you wanted to talk about before, but I don't know if it's a priority." She turns to the notes about what the god said. "Do you want to know what the god and I said to each other, I'll have to translate -"

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This sounds even more important than calculus!  Though mainly because Bella isn't selling calculus very hard.

"Yes, absolutely!"

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"I said - mind this is translated and all taken down after the conversation was over - I said hello. He said 'how odd, I can't read your soul, ah, I see you've already picked your unique skill to be Inviolable Mind. We don't have long to talk but I should have summoned a soul from a higher world that has approximately correct expectations about my situation. I am a God, one of my worlds needs a hero to save it from a Demon Lord, things should be as you expect given that. If you have questions ask them quickly, time spent here is expensive.' And I asked 'can I alter the world by altering my expectations' and he said 'not until you've realized a lot more of your potential'. And I said 'if I come up with more questions that seem worth asking is there a way to do that'. And he either said no or shook his head, I have that uncertainty written down here - and I said 'what do you mean about my potential' and he said 'it seems you aren't as acquainted with the situation as I hoped. Your soul is from a higher world, entering a less orderly place. Like everyone else in that situation you can expect a unique skill, the ability to learn magic of any element, chant shortening, and the ability to reach great heights given time and trials. But if you didn't already know that, then you'll have to seek information on your own. Good luck.'

Then I was standing on a road, over the hill from where we met.

Also he kept drinking tea the whole time, don't know what that means."

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It's clear that the Summoned Hero doesn't know some very important things, and that Haroun is going to have to take at least temporary responsibility for this age's battle whether he wants to or not.  "Don't tell anyone what your 『Unique Skill』 is!  That's vital tactical and strategic information for the war against the Demon Lord, and in a few months they'll have spies and informants everywhere, if they don't already.  I'd like for you not to kill me once you've realized your mistake but I'd understand if you did."  At least she didn't actually pronounce the『Quoted Name』 for the Skill, though knowing that it means 'inviolable mind' is bad enough already.  "Look, uh, just for example - slave collars operate by reading your mind and punishing you if you think about harming your master or escaping, right?  'Inviolable Mind' sounds like you could put on a slave collar and it'd look to anyone like a fully functioning slave collar, but if the collar can't read your mind, you could just shiv the collar's registered master and saw it off your neck afterwards.  That would probably work for assassinating half the major nobles in Relica!  But it only works if they don't know you can do it."

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"I think I still like this place better than being dead but I get less sure of that occasionally. Uh, the word 'skill' is coming up a lot and I'm starting to suspect it's significant, please explain that. Also you still haven't explained what you seemed to think was so fucking important about how I don't know how to use my powers."

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"Summoned Heroes leave giant craters when they fight things!  Some of them are big enough to reach from here to where my family's house is!  I'm not going to say you should never do that, but it seems very important that you only do it on purpose rather than by accident.  And, uh, Skills are - you know, once you learn how to do enough of something, you know the rest of it that's in the pool of common knowledge?  I'm not sure what specifically you're asking about."

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"Suppose I don't know how once I learn how to do enough of something additional knowledge appears spontaneously. Suppose that sounds weird to me."

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"...how did your world get to the point of producing very finely woven clothes?  I can't imagine somebody learning enough to do that all on their own, unless you live longer than High Elves."

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"Uh, I am about a fifth of the way through a lifespan? I don't know how long elves here live, we don't have elves. My clothes were machine woven. Or knitted. The pants are woven but I think everything else is knitted. Actually I don't know how they do the outer shell of the coat, that might be neither somehow. And the shoes are different too."

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"Where do you get artifacts to weave things if nobody has Skills to enchant artifacts?  I'm sorry, I'm sort of asking the wrong question here.  The way it works here, somebody teaches you to knit a few knots, and when you get good enough at that, you know the rest.  Sages have tried to get estimates of how many people have to know something for it to become part of a Skill, and it's something like a few dozen people maybe?  And that works more for doing things, like knitting, than for recording things, like the lineage of the kings in your local kingdom.  Knowing a little of that lineage won't give you the rest, even if lots of people have the whole lineage memorized.  There's theories about 'ideomorphic resonance' and 'akashic records' and so on.  But if anybody ever knew for sure, that knowledge was lost one of the times a Demon Lord destroyed everything.  Uh, some skills can't be obtained by just anyone who learns enough of the knowledge, you have to fulfill conditions first.  Those are 『Rare Skills』.  If only one person can know something at a time that's a 『Unique Skill』.  I can imagine somebody becoming proficient at 『Fireball』 just by casting the unskilled version often enough, though it sounds like a hell of a pain.  But weaving a shirt as tightly as yours, never mind making an artifact to weave shirts that tightly, seems like it should be, respectively, a second-tier or third-tier Skill?  One where you can only learn to do it at all once you've learned some first-tier Skills, and practiced them enough to find your own way of doing it instead of everybody's average way of doing it, and absorbed the next level of knowledge in the Skill's sequence and practiced that too, until you've reached the maximum level.  Then somebody walks you through some new exercises that rely on multiple first-tier Skills, and when you do those right enough, you get the second-tier Skill.  And then you have to practice that!  If I imagine trying to go through that whole process without Skills existing, I just don't see anybody enchanting a tier-3 artifact to weave shirts like yours, unless they're, I dunno, eighty years old by the time they finish building it?  Or, this sounds more like the right question, what does your world have instead of Skills, so that you can make artifacts that make shirts?  Do you animate dead crafters so they go on reproducing their peak works after they die of old age?  Is there a long-lived race that forges epic tools that allow shorter-lived crafters to create high-tier artifacts?  Or are you, like... a hundred million times older than all the time that's passed since I regained consciousness?"

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"I keep telling you, we don't have magic. Nothing in my entire universe as far as I know is enchanted including the fabric-knitting machines. No knowledge is ever spontaneously generated - sometimes people make lucky guesses or intuitive leaps but by and large you have to actually learn things to know them. We do not have... necromancy or whatever it is that you'd use to animate dead people. - is magic just not even a category you have, is it like trying to imagine a world where... nobody has a vestibular system or something, I don't know what the right analogy is? I'm... uh... I'm not this good at mental math hang on -" She gets out her calculator. "You woke up what, fifteen, twenty minutes ago? Let's call it fifteen minutes - times a hundred million divided by sixty divided by twenty four divided by three sixty five is wow no I'm not that old! That's two thousand eight hundred fifty three years and change! I'm seventeen! Uh - I will try to figure out how to explain what we have instead of magic skills."

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"I'm definitely getting the impression that my language isn't really suited to whatever you're trying to tell me by saying your world doesn't have (rituals-or-incantations-that-operate-Skills)."

If Bella is paying close attention to this, she should realize this time that the language Haroun is speaking doesn't actually have a word that means 'magic' the way she means it.

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"Yeah I am super noticing this and I want a refund on my stupid language power, hang on." Sigh. "...okay. The word I'm reaching for when I say that is, in my native language, 'magic'. Let's call it that. We have the word magic for use in fiction to talk about things that cannot really be done in my world, as a category. Things that can really be done in my world are covered by what we call physics. I am not a physicist and do not have a very fine grained model of how all of it works. As an extremely oversimplified definitely wrong model you should not try to extrapolate too much from, you may imagine my universe as being composed of lots of empty space with nothing whatsoever in it, and some excruciatingly tiny little particles that cling to each other in various combinations to form all the physical objects there are, move around in various ways to produce things like light and heat and macro-scale motion, and, uh, things like radio waves that I don't understand basically at all even compared to the rest of it but can be generated by particles doing stuff somehow. And that is it. That's all. That's all of everything is that, except insofar as that is a very, very, very oversimplified model as poorly translated by a nonspecialist. Nothing except for those particles ever happens.

Uh, except for my soul getting kidnapped by a god, I don't have an explanation for that within physics."

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"Well, I'm back to wondering again if you're a monster who just took human form, because I can't even imagine what it would be like to actually live in a world like that.  Everything in your world is just empty space with little bits bopping around in it?  Do you, like, go around collecting enough tiny bits to make a shirt, or what?"

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"I think my shirt is made of mostly cotton, which grows on plants. Like, the carriage and the horses and you and the hills and grass such don't look overtly wrong to me in any way. They look like stuff we have, though horses and carriages are mostly obsolete. The tiny bits are mostly clinging together in sufficient quantity for people, who are also made of tiny bits, to interact with. Like, the planet is really big, and we live on that, it's just that if you take a piece off and take it apart and take that apart enough times there's really tiny bits and the fact that it's made of tiny bits is useful to know to make predictions."

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Haroun, arrested by a sudden thought, stares down at his own hand.  He knows he's made of flesh and blood.  He doesn't know what the blood is made of.  Nobody knows what blood is made of.  But Bella's world has carriages and horses and hills and grass, and in her world those things are made of - and if they look the same between the two worlds - then -

"Can you tell whether or not I'm made of tiny bits?"

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"Not without equipment and training to use the equipment that I don't have. Uh, I guess in theory I could figure out an experiment based on what's in my chemistry textbook somehow but I'd really be winging it." She pays attention to the phrase 'winging it' to make sure there is an appropriate idiom on the other end and she doesn't claim she will fly into the air.

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(It just comes out as 'improvising', more or less.  Haroun's language doesn't have a special evocative idiom for that exact concept.)

"What would your equipment do to tell whether or not I'm made of tiny bits if you had that equipment?"

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"This conversation is really interesting and I would normally be having lots of fun with it... for whatever value of 'normally' would be enabling it to take place under happier circumstances... but I think it's a lot more important that I get acclimated to here than that you get familiar with how it is on Earth, so do you think you can confine yourself to questions that make you better at explaining here, at least for the time being?"

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Oh.

Right.

"I'm sorry.  Um.  What was it that you most urgently wanted to know again?"

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"Uh, you seem to think I can leave craters. I do not have introspective access to my ability to do anything other than, like... physically move my body around better than I used to be able to, plus talk this language with this cut-rate language power. Please tell me what to not do to not leave any craters. If you know."

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Ah, yes.  That.

Um.

Haroun is kind of out of his depth here.

"So, uh, I'm kind of out of my depth here," he says.  Now is a good time to be direct.  "But I can think of an obvious thing for you not to do, and, I mean, the obvious next thing for me to do, is to describe what that thing is.  And if this was a comical play, I'm pretty sure I know what funny thing would happen next.  So just to be clear, if I start describing what not to do, you won't say 'You mean this?' before I finish my sentence and do that thing - right?  I mean, I'm not saying you would.  It's just, this seems like an important time to establish very explicitly that this would be a bad time for that particular comical mistake."

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"If the thing you're about to tell me causes craters is along the lines of 'think about a pink elephant' I cannot guarantee my ability to avoid doing so. If you're about to tell me that it involves reciting, like, an entire sentence, or doing a complicated gesture, or meditating for a while on a magic concept, or something that I would in fact have to try to do, I believe I can restrain myself."

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"Right!  So, uh, I'm not sure the actual concept came across, but what you said is that you don't have rituals-or-incantations-that-operate-Skills, and it sounds more like there's nothing to operate than that you operate them differently instead.  So, here, there's a language that helps instruct things to happen.  Don't ask me who or what we're talking to, or where the language comes from, because I don't know.  There's a lot of loan-words from that language in Lictic, the language we're speaking right now, but the loan-words always include a critical extra bit, which is the element of the special language that says treat this as a quoted string literal instead of executing it as an instruction.  Uh, I hope that came through?  I don't know if you actually have those concepts?  The thing you should not do, unless you're specifically chanting a spell and you know what that spell does, is say anything in that special language without quoting it.  Saying 'quote' in regular language won't do.  You need to say 『』around whatever you're quoting in the special language."

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"『』" says Bella. "...okay. Yeah, I have the concept of strings and - am in some danger of overinterpreting this to be like something we have but I don't think I will accidentally use-not-mention a spell accidentally."

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"And there's this traditional hazing thing you're not supposed to tell novice wizards about so they have to figure it out on their own and learn a valuable lesson, but, uh, in your case that doesn't seem like a tremendously good idea.  So, uh, if your magic ever totally stops working and stays not working, for some unknown reason, try saying 』a few times to see if that fixes it."

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"...pffft. Okay. Uh, I can show you the thing I'm in danger of overinterpreting this to be." She opens up her calculator again. "This is a calculator, it's a machine that does math, but it can also be programmed, and one time as a study exercise slash hedge against ever having an awful headache on the day of a math test I taught myself some of the coding language and programmed in all my geometry formulae and I can probably reverse engineer that -" She opens up the program, skims it. "So I can write, in the programming language which is basically hyperformal English plus a lot of punctuation, 'print HELLO', and then when I run the program the word 'hello' appears on the screen..."

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"You personally made a - a - a whatever-it-is that responds to 『Language』?!!??"

Just when the Summoned Hero starts to sound like an ordinary trainee scholar born to a schoolteacher and a city guard, she drops some casual bit of news that would send elder liches fleeing into the void between planets.

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"I didn't invent calculators! Or the programming language! I just learned a handful of the programming instructions by analyzing a stupid calculator text adventure game somebody gave me and made myself a geometry cheat sheet!"

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"I am so far out of my depth that there are whales giggling at me as I go on sinking."

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"Join the fucking club, whatever your name is!"

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"Haroun.  Haroun Pevers.  You want to give me a pseudonym or title or something?  It's not a good thing if I go around thinking of you as only the Summoned Hero, and maybe accidentally say that out loud at some point."

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"Yeah you probably shouldn't do that. Uh. - is there actually a reason not to use my real name? I'm kind of drawing way more than I'd like to be on fiction for figuring out how to operate here and in some fictional universes real names have spooky powers but I don't know if this is one of them."

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"People having names in 『Language』.  That is a hell of a creepy thought.  I sure can't remember hearing about that ever happening.  Uh, if you're okay telling me your name, I can check by trying to send a bit of 『Light』 your way using your unquoted name as the target."

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"And that wouldn't work on a normal local person's real name?"

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"Not that I'd ever heard of!  Even if you named your baby something unquoted it wouldn't work.  Human beings can't just go around naming things!"

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"My name's Bella."

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"Er.  Um."  Haroun is still rather nervous around the Summoned Hero go figure.  "There's this thing that teachers at my academy do where they yell at people for teaching purposes, which I'm not sure I'd like to do to anyone, let alone you.  At the same time I'm not a teacher myself and I can see how the yelling might serve some kind of purpose and I'm afraid to just leave it out, so, uh, pretend that one of my teachers is yelling at volume level 3 out of 11 about how, if you aren't sure whether something is evaluable, you should always always quote it instead of guessing.  They'd say that if you're worried your name might evaluate, and I didn't do the test yet, say 『Bella』?  Like, I've got a not-safe-to-not-quote mental category, and the word 『Bella』 got put in there so it stays in there until I try casting my next spell.  I realize that I just got through emphasizing I'd never heard of a person's name evaluating to them, but, uh, if it's worth doing the spell-test at all, it's worth being careful about, uh -"

Haroun has no idea where the Summoned Hero falls on the scale of "got this the instant he pointed it out and learned the lesson fully and is just feeling increasingly irate as he goes on speaking" versus "didn't instantly get it and is likely to get herself hurt if he doesn't spell something out because he thought it was obvious".

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"Yeah, that makes sense. Thank you for telling me without hollering about it. My, like, threat model here is mostly that if my name does something then it will do something via you knowing my name and quotes won't save me there but if nouns all by themselves sometimes do stuff, yeah, should've quoted it."

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"It's not so much that uttering one noun would do stuff, but that it'd hang around the next time you started a spell, or maybe said a verb."

Haroun composes his thoughts.  This is, in a sense, a spell designed to go wrong, since 『Bella』 isn't supposed to be a valid expression.  If he was the sort who just memorized incantations, he'd be out of luck right now; but he goes to a proper magic academy where they teach you to know things, not just do them.  More importantly, Professor Nightstar has taught him how to test things.

There's a 『Light』 spell for shining harmless light on a target, to make sure a targeting expression evaluates to what you had in mind.  There's a clause of 『Language』 that's supposed to fail safely if its major subclause is a syntax error.  He has both of those memorized and they fall within the purview of his recitation Skills, as does the act of combining their syntax; the spell isn't going to use much energy at all; this should be safe to do on-the-fly, right?  The alternative is for him to stop the carriage and work things out, which would look less impressive in front of the Summoned Hero.  This should be safe to do on the fly.  Yes.  Definitely.  It's a very straightforward combination.

Haroun carefully pronounces, "manca (1 / 10 :: lutta) >> súlë cálë (1 / 100 :: lutta) <$> ``Bella`` ?: róma".

Bella hears:  "I offer a tenth of an offering of mana to the spirits of light, that they may send radiance of the hundredth part of power toward Bella if-that's-a-thing and otherwise upward."

This language is a terse one; the spell is much shorter than its English translation.  Bella could probably repeat the sounds back exactly, if she felt like doing that using her mysterious language power, while the words are fresh in her mind.  Bella doesn't know how to meaningfully rearrange the words.  If she focuses on terms like 『>>』 she'll find that all her previous programming experience has given her no referent for what this means - it's just not in her current conceptual library.  But she could repeat back the whole sentence, and she understands what the sentence means as a whole.

Also a spark of radiance forms, around the brightness of a 6-watt bulb.  It doesn't look like much in the daylight, but it's clearly visible.  It begins to drift up towards the sky, and lasts maybe five seconds before winking out.

"Your name is meaningless!" Haroun says reassuringly.

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"Yay. How much is 『an offering of mana』? Who are the 『spirits』 you're giving it to? Where does 『mana』 come from?"

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"...did you just understand everything I said."

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"Yes. Not as well as your vernacular and that's saying something but sure."

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Summoned Heroes are bullshit.

"Well, the rest of us have to study that kind of thing, I mean, even getting the Skills for a field won't just tell you what the terms mean.  Do you know -"  He needs to remember that she has questions too.  "Uh, to answer your questions first, I can offer about 30 mana of spells before I fall over.  One mana is enough to, uh -"  Bella doesn't know any other standard units, does she.  "Push something about as hard as my hand can push on it for 5-and-three-quarters-seconds, maybe?"  He hasn't measured his own pushing strength, but it sounds about right.  "And if you got the translation of 『spirits』 you might already know more about them than my professors!  Maybe more than anybody else alive!  Do you know the whole 『Language』?  Can you just say things in 『Language』?  Can you tell me the quoted expression for, uh, uh, gravity?"  For a force that seems to just pull stuff downward all the time, it has a ridiculously long name, and nobody has ever figured out what the subexpressions mean.

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"I do not know the whole 『Language』- I can understand you when you speak in it but I can't pick it apart at the boundaries of words very well, only some things stood out as individual words that could be swapped around. I have no sense of the grammar, I can't compose sentences, I don't think I could even repeat your whole spell word for word but I might be able to if I heard it a couple of times and took notes? I do not have productive vocabulary access for things like gravity. Though I, uh, do maybe know more about what gravity is from having attended science class. Is that one of the things I shouldn't go around telling people?"

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"Wow.  Yeah, probably not a good thing to start yelling out on street corners.  So why is gravity?"

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"I acknowledge this isn't a street corner but I'd like to know why I shouldn't yell it on a street corner before I yell it at you, for all that I have pretty much decided I'd better consider you trustworthy because the alternatives probably collapse into murder and I don't want to commit any murder. Speaking of things I could yell, is there any reason I shouldn't try casting your light spell?"

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Uh.

The thought that if the Summoned Hero already understands spells, she could just repeat them back, well, that thought should have occurred to him, but it's sort of large as thoughts go.

"No," Haroun says numbly.  "No reason.  I mean you have to know what spells mean for them to work right, but you apparently know that as soon as you hear the spell, so sure, why not, haha.  You hear a spell and repeat it.  Why not?  That is a totally reasonable way for things to work.  Try this one -"

Bella hears:  "Light spirits, I offer a tenth of mana to create a flash of radiance."  It's only seven syllables, and after Haroun says it there's a flash like a photographer's bulb going off, forwards of where Haroun is sitting in the carriage's driver's seat, causing one of the horses to flicker its ears.

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"Light spirits, I offer a tenth of mana to create a flash of radiance."

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Flash!

...a brief lassitude assails Bella, causing her to stumble for the first time since she arrived in this world, though she quickly catches herself.

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"...okay, cool, I can do magic. Is it supposed to be tiring? Is that a practice thing?"

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HOLY SNARKLEROYS.

Haroun would ordinarily check at this point to see if Bella got the 『Light Magic』 Skill at Lv. 1, or maybe even higher.  But if she can already cast spells just by hearing them or reading them, he's not sure how to check!  Maybe see what she makes of the more advanced spells in his second-year 『Light Magic』 textbook -

Bella's later sentences catch up to Haroun's auditory processing.

"Tiring?  Not unless you're low on mana, and you shouldn't get low on mana from just expending a tenth.  I mean, it is a practice thing, and efficiency increases with Skill.  But the average 12-year-old apprentice has around two units of mana before they start practicing at all, just from, you know, existing for 12 years - oh.  Oh, dear."

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"What happens if I overspend my mana."

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Bella's universe doesn't have mana, does it.

"Nothing fatal!  You can't spend more than you have, and if you lose it all you, uh, feel very tired and sleepy and maybe have a nice nap.  Especially if there's anything else stressful going on at the time.  Like running into a Summoned Hero while you're already low on mana.  That is the sort of thing that could cause anybody to end up napping."

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"I wasn't judging you for fainting, dude. If you showed up in my world and started literally casting spells all over the place I'm sure people would faint and that's without any specific reason to believe the best case scenario involves a huge crater."

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"Well, uh.  We may.  We may possibly be looking at a delay on the craters thing, which, which I guess could be good short-term news from a certain point of view, but represents something of a long-term problem for... everybody."

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"There aren't, like, mana shortcuts, where if I know how gravity works I can turn that into mana somehow?"

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"That is an utterly fascinating idea but... I don't know how to do anything like that?  I can only think of only two people I've ever met who even might know something like that, and I'd expect you to have understandable trust issues with both of them."

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"Do they have regrettable tattoos that say 'spy for the demon lord' on their foreheads or what."

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"Er, one's a bit wacky and the other's a bit, er, heretical, and neither is in the next town over so it's a moot point at least for the next few days."

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"Heretical."

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"I don't think he'd get along with old tea guy."

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"Are you here for some reason imagining that I spent many years of my childhood attending routine religious services devoted to singing the praises of old tea guy?"

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"Er, no?  I didn't even know about the tea thing until you told me.  It's just that, I think the conventional opinion is that we should all be grateful to God for sending us Summoned Heroes at all, especially since God has never demanded any obvious payment from us in exchange.  Professor Nightstar seems to be of the opinion that, uh," how would Professor Nightstar put this, "sending us Summoned Heroes every century or two can't possibly be the best possible option God can take to benefit us all, assuming that God has enough power to send us Summoned Heroes in the first place, and therefore this reflects very poorly on God's intelligence, altruism, sanity, or all three.  No offense it's his opinion not mine!"

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"I mean, unless he thinks it's my fault, unless he imagines that I'm old tea guy incarnate here to have an adventure for my personal amusement at the expense of the mortals, I don't see why this means I wouldn't get along with him. Like, that's just obviously true, if the god is in fact 'a god' and not 'a vending machine' - you don't have vending machines probably - anyway if he has other powers at all it'd be sort of weird if this was the best he could do, though he did mention it being expensive to talk to me so it's possible he's under some real sharp constraints that merely look like he's being an idiot."

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"I think Professor Nightstar has opinions specifically about the fight between the Demon Lord and the Summoned Hero generating too much collateral damage even in the best case, and this... not being totally not the Summoned Hero's fault.  Though he's never told me what he thinks the Summoned Heroes should do any differently."

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"Well, maybe he'll tell me, or maybe I'll decide not to ask him because there are apparently spies who want me dead all over the place, I am unsure as I am still adjusting."

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Haroun nods.

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The two of them walk and ride quietly for a time.

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"You kept bringing up my shirt. I don't know if you have, like, a sewing hobby making it more conspicuous to you than to most people, but if you do happen to have a way to deal with it somehow - I don't know, illusion spell, nondescript women's clothing that you have in the carriage for whatever reason, the revelation that actually summoned heroes don't get sunburn and nudity's unremarkable, I don't want to be super picky here -"

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Haroun is not made of sufficiently stern material that the thought of Bella walking around naked is entirely undistracting.  He sets aside this point with sheer force of will and thinks on.

"It wouldn't look great on you, and people could probably tell you were wearing secondhand clothes, but Aralin's change of casual clothes might fit you?  I doubt she'd begrudge you the loan, what with Aralin's family's life depending on you and all that.  Pretty sure her armor won't fit you, though, which obviates the issue of whether to try to break Adventurer's Guild rules on that."

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"- is having the sword also against some kind of rule, because, uh, it was not on my person when I got hit by the van and it's the only thing like that I've noticed so it seems maybe important. Also where do I find the clothes."

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"Sword's fine.  It's not against the rules to wear armor, it just goes to," Haroun has to stop to swallow, "Aralin's family or beneficiaries."

Haroun stops the horses and climbs down to enter the carriage proper.  He is the one who knows where the clothing is stored, and which clothes are Aralin's casual.

Two dead friends and five dead bandits make for a lot of blood leakage, and the bodies are blocking easy access to the travel chest.

Haroun stops and leans against the carriage door, looking as casual about it as he can.  The Summoned Hero probably isn't impressed with boys who get nauseous at the sight of a little blood.

...or would she react differently from that?  Haroun's mental picture of Summoned Heroes hasn't really been all that accurate so far.

"Hey," Haroun says.  He steps back from the carriage door, because trying to inhale directly is a mistake.  He swallows again.  "I don't know - what your level is of being disturbed by blood - but if it doesn't make you sick at all, I might ask you - to pull a couple of the bodies out of the way - or help me out here, if we're both equally sick about it."  Bodies are heavy, aren't they?  He's never had to move a body before.

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"I am actually super nauseated by blood, mostly the smell, but I can help you, it's not like it's going to ruin a nice day I was otherwise having." She hauls.

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Haroun helps haul.  The Summoned Hero is stronger than him, so she takes more of the load, but he helps.

"This hasn't been a good day for you either, I guess," Haroun says, while they're taking a break in relatively cleaner air, and he can spare breath for words.  "I wasn't thinking about it, but - I lost a friend and an acquaintance, and thought I was going to die.  You - didn't have anyone die on you, that you mentioned, but you're... still having an even worse day than that."  What with the 'fatal injuries' she no longer has, and never seeing any of her family and friends again.  "I don't know if you want to talk about that at all, and obviously I'll shut up if you're not interested, but - I mean - for what it's worth - most people who aren't spies of the Demon Lord will be very much on your side.  All the ordinary good people in the world, more or less.  They'd be ready to do a lot to help Summoned Hero Bella, if they knew who that was.  That includes me, if there's anything at all I can do to help, or - make things better, somehow."

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"That's - well, that's good to know, though I'm not sure exactly how many people 'ordinary good people' refers to if half the nobility in your country uses mindreading torture collars on the slaves it seems unremarkable for them to have. I think I'll be less of a mess when I know more about the place and about what I can do in it. I'm pretty badly thrown by the, uh, emphasis on physical combat so far? Physical combat happens on my planet but it's, like... if someone had come up to me and been like 'hand over your money' the unquestionably mainstream advice would have been 'give him my purse and don't make any sudden movements'. I'm not a demographic appropriate to actually fighting anybody. I was never expecting to be in any physical confrontation in my entire life or to need to hire armed guards to avoid being in one. I'm not really okay about the thing where even if I win in the end I may expect to fetch up sitting in a crater trying to calculate the 'violent slaveowner' to, like, 'small child' ratio of who I just killed and would be much happier if I had legible utility magic instead of a sword and was going to have to go on a diplomatic mission to figure out what the demons want or something like that."

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There's a lot of that Haroun doesn't know how to address.  "I - I realize that this isn't the major issue here, unless it is, but - it's the part that I understand the best, so - ordinary good people was meant to exclude... about 80% of the nobility.  If you survive your battle, you wouldn't be the first Summoned Hero to go around executing every surviving king who allowed slave collars.  The Hero before the Hero before you did exactly that.  The problem is, after the Summoned Hero dies, people figure there's not much chance of a Demon Lord appearing in the next year.  And a century after that, they figure it's not likely a Summoned Hero will show up that decade.  So here we are.  And you - you might be smarter not to let on how you feel about slave collars.  I mean, you would get stronger support from maybe half the people, including me and my family, and most of the professors I know.  But this is a country where slave collars are legal, so the King and the nobility would - try to arrange for neither you or the Demon Lord to survive the final battle, I'd guess..."  Haroun realizes he's not really supplying emotional comfort here.  "Uh, the final battle does usually come down to magic instead of swords, if that helps.  If what you want is for there to not be a final battle at all, with swords or without them - you'd have to break the entire system, or find some way to force the Demon Lord to back down without a fight.  And Professor Nightstar acts like that's an option and Summoned Heroes are to blame for not doing that, but he's never said one word about how or why that would be possible.  But we could go to my academy and you could talk to him, if you wanted to take the risk on trusting him..."  Haroun sighs.  "I'm sorry.  I wish I had something less awful to say.  Uh, there might be some interesting magic you can cast with a tenth of mana, if you can cast arbitrarily complicated spells just by reading them out of books?  It - it might take some rejiggering to get it down to literally a tenth.  I mean, people aren't designing spells for that.  But high-Skilled people can rejigger things."

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"How do you normally tell what someone's Skill level is?"

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"You give them challenges that somebody of that Skill level can solve, and see when they stop being able to solve them.  For spells, that usually involves casting standard spells by recitation, which, well, you see the problem in your case.  The Adventurer's Guild uses a small blood ritual to find out what common Skills you have when you sign up, so they can check about Skills for thievery and assassination.  Though if God has trouble reading your soul... it's not impossible that ritual wouldn't work on you either."

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"Is that something I can pass off as an unremarkable personal quirk if it comes up or should I make sure it never comes up?"

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"You could tell them nobody's ever been able to read you and that it's probably due to some 『Rare Skill』, and you have no idea which 『Rare Skill』 because nobody's ever been able to read you.  They'd probably even believe you about it?  There's rare ways to hide Skills, but nobody would use that to hide all their Skills because it would be pointlessly suspicious.  I mean - it'd probably be better if it never comes up.  But if you plan to sign up with the Adventurer's Guild, I don't see how we'd avoid it.  People aren't allowed in dungeons without guildplates... uh.  Um.  I guess we should probably reconsider that plan too.  I didn't realize at the time that you weren't ready to start making craters.  Though floor one of a minor dungeon is going to be a lot easier than fighting bandits, for whatever that's worth, and delving dungeons is the fastest known way to increase Skills and mana capacity."

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"How exactly does it do those things?"

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"I think we might understand a lot less about how our world works than your own people understand how your world works.  I wonder if that's because our world is actually harder to understand or if your own people are just smarter?  I mean, there's a bunch of theories like dungeon monsters having something called 'essence' that gets into people and somehow improves them.  But all people actually know is that Skills go up faster when you use them to kill dungeon monsters."

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"Are the monsters people?"

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"My Dad would congratulate you on asking the right questions, assuming you mean by that what I think you mean.  Uh, just to check, what do you mean?"

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"Uh, honestly the thing I mean I wouldn't expect you to have direct access to but do they seem to coordinate as though using language, do they use tools, do they make representational markings of any kind, do they operate towards long term goals. Are they smart. - if you wanna try to reproduce a monster vocalization I could see if I understand it."

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"Depends on the monster, but yeah.  Dad would start arguing with you about that on floor 5 of a mid-rank dungeon - what the Guild would call C-level monsters.  At floor 15 of a major dungeon, A-level monsters, he'd stop arguing with you because at that point it's obvious you'll never be convinced no matter what the monsters say, do, or look like.  It's worth noting that boss monsters come back after they die.  I mean they come back as the same person and recognize you if they see you again, not just respawn like other monsters do.  So it's around three floors after the first time you meet a smart boss monster that you've got to start worrying about killing non-immortal smart monsters.  Or if you really want to be sure, you could avoid anything that sets off a『Qualia』-detecting spell.  Some people don't eat cows and stick to chickens because of that."

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"You have a 『Qualia』detecting spell? - and it passes cows and fails chickens? Interesting. Uh, I think I'm okay with stabbing chickeny monsters if there's nothing better on although it will not be heaps of fun."

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A thought suddenly occurs to Haroun.  "Ah - if it's all right for me to ask - do you happen to know what the expression『Qualia』 means?  What my people know is that it's something that gets detected in most smart monsters, and some small cute monsters that didn't obviously have their own language at the time but later turned out to have one, and cows but not chickens, and so on.  We figure 『Qualia』 means something like 'smart' but we don't actually know, and it occurred to me that maybe you found out as soon as you heard the 『Language』 for it."

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"Uh, I'd translate it as 『'qualia'』 in English and it means something like having experiences, being aware? I wouldn't really have expected cows, cows are a surprise and I will have to revisit my eating habits unless you're about to tell me your cows are weird magical cows somehow, but as long as there happens to be an empirical bright line I kinda wanna start using it instead of guessing."

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"What does it mean to be 'aware' of something, if not to be smart enough to know it's there?  And our cows don't use rituals-or-incantations-that-operate-Skills but how would I know if they're weird apart from that?"

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"You have caught me without access to Wikipedia - that being a major reference on Earth - but something like, uh, the ability to notice that you know something, as opposed to just having it in the background? I dunno, describe cows to me. Our cows are roughly horse sized critters that come in black or white or brown or combinations of those and they're farmed for milk and meat and leather. - not all Skills are operated with incantations and rituals, right, like, for knitting I was imagining you'd just knit."

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"Our cows sound just like your cows to me!  There's a project underway to breed cows that don't set off 『Qualia』-detectors, but they haven't got the amount down to zero.  Which, you know, is also worth noting because it shows that not everybody in our world is the slave-owning type.  There's enough good people to run whole projects like that.  And I want to dig down further into whether 『Qualia』 means 'ability to focus attention' or what, but I suspect it's not the top of your own list of urgent questions."

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"Kinda isn't, yeah. It's really reassuring to know that not everyone is the slave-owning type. Uh, ballpark how long does it tend to be between summoned hero arrival and final cratery showdown?"

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"...I'm sorry, I'd have to check a history book for that.  My specialty isn't Summoned Heroes.  You definitely have longer than a month, you definitely have less than ten years."

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"Where exactly are we going, and where is it in relation to all these people you know?"

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"I've never spent a lot of time in Relis - to me it's just a waypoint between Pigbridge, where my family lives, and Cowcorn, which is the academy I attend.  I was on my way from my family home to the academy, and we're four days from the academy and a week from my family home.  If you wanted to talk to Professor Nightstar right away - or Magister Sting, she's the wacky but knowledgeable one - we could keep heading to my academy instead of turning back.  But you don't have to rush there on my behalf, they're reasonable people and will accept excuses like bandit attacks.  And your stuff is more important than my education, anyways."

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"Thanks. I do think your school might be a good place to head generally toward at least until I have a better idea."

They locate the change of clothes. Bella inspects the various fasteners before stepping into the now corpseless carriage and shutting the door to change into them. Then she sticks her head out. "How bad are the shoes and backpack, notability-wise?"

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"Shoes... are unusual but not interdimensionally so."  Haroun glances at what an Earth person would call the 'zipper'.  "I have no idea how you're opening and closing the seams in that backpack using those metal tags, so maybe don't do that part where other people can see.  I mean, most people aren't expecting to meet a Summoned Hero, to be clear, and there's a lot of weird artifacts in the world.  You just have to avoid... wearing weird clothes and asking how many silver to the gold."

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"I have already forgotten the conversion factor. Twenty-something? My world has had objectively more confusing currency systems but I grew up with a hundred pennies to the dollar and intermediate coinage of five ten and twenty-five."

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"Seventeen silver to the gold, twenty-nine copper to the silver.  If you can get Skills at all, you should only have to practice conversions a couple of dozen times before it becomes instinctive.  How does your world deal with that kind of thing without Skills?  Wait, never mind, probably not top of your own priorities list."

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Bella finishes tying her shoes back into place and hops out of the carriage. "I mean, I've got something doing the language and the balance problem cure, I just don't know whether they're technically skills. If I like... tell you how my currency system works, as I just did, you don't get a skill about it, do you?"

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"I've already got skills for understanding base ten, but if it was a base I'd never heard of I'd have to do a few arithmetic problems before I could stop thinking about it."

They start loading bodies back into the carriage.  The fact that they're taking with the whole bandits, and not just their armor and their heads, is going to slow down the carriage some.  Haroun considers raising this topic with Bella, and decides against it.  Haroun doesn't really want to cut off heads and strip off armor and bury bodies where they won't attract monsters, and he's guessing that neither does Bella.  They should still make Relis before nightfall, even with the extra weight.

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"If you learn a new word does that increment some skill counter in the background?" she wonders, after she's done holding her breath against the smell of bodies. "- more importantly what do we do with these guys once we're at civilization, is there a morgue we can drop them off at or something -"

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"No, it's more - using words in sentences, learning the grammar to put things together.  After you get the Lvl 1 skill for that language, you can use the words you do know in sentences, and conjugate them and so on, but you still have to learn individual words.  I imagine learning languages would be slower without Skills, but it's not instant with them.  The bandits - get turned in at the Adventurer's Guild for the standard bounty, I forget the exact amount.  I know it's not much of a bounty, if you're not a Guild member, and if there isn't a posted bounty for that specific bandit.  The Guild doesn't want to offer enough that unlicensed people will start killing random bystanders and turn them in with used bandit armor.  Marussa and Aralin - go to the Adventurer's Guild."  A thought occurs to Haroun, though it doesn't come with much hope attached.  "I remember hearing you saying 'Heal' and 'Resurrect', before, though it didn't do anything.  I don't suppose - you just need a little more time to figure out whatever it was you were trying to do?"

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"It was a super wild guess. Tea guy said something about chant shortening as a thing I could learn so I was attempting to guess what a not-shortened chant might look like in case it worked. On entirely the wrong track, obviously, but if it would have worked and I'd just been too sheepish to try..."

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"Yeah.  Thank you.  It - says something about what kind of Summoned Hero you are, that you tried."  Haroun braces himself mentally, and continues.  "Chant shortening is advanced stuff, at least the way normal wizards have to do it.  Like, when you get good enough at a spell, maxing out the Skill and then some, you can just say 『Eval Firebolt』 instead of the entire incantation.  I will try not to go completely mad on the spot if it turns out you can already say 『Eval Flash』 and have that work for you."

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"Is that going to be really hard on my mana situation, I don't have a sense of how far 'tired for a second' is from 'falling over' or how fast it comes back when spent."

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"I'd expect your mana to have regenerated by now, after all the time that's passed between?  If you're no longer feeling a little tired, probably most or all of your mana is back... though I guess there's other things about this situation that could lead to you feeling tired right now."  Then Haroun thinks about Bella's exact words for a second, noticing a slight sense of dissonance with his expectations.  "Wait, you say you only felt 'tired for a second' originally?  That is odd, I'd expect noticeable mana exhaustion to take longer to wear off.  Maybe you have low mana but normal regen?  That doesn't make any sense to me, but that doesn't make it false."

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"It wore off fast, yeah. Being low on mana feels like being tired the entire time you are low on mana, normally?"

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"It's not much different from being physically tired that way.  There's exercises novice wizards get led through so they'll get the Skill for assessing their own mana levels numerically, but the usual way of doing that involves some equipment I don't have.  Like, you repeatedly guess how much mana you have, based on how tired you feel, and then there's an artifact that tells you how much you actually had.  When you get good enough at that, you obtain Mana Self-Assessment Lvl 1.  After that it's not hard to learn to tell the difference between physical fatigue and low mana; they feel different, and you can sort out what's what once you have numbers to look at."

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"Might wanna borrow one of those artifacts later, then, but I'll have to make do for now. I'm actually surprisingly untired. I wouldn't usually walk this far back home. Although I suppose that the fact that normally if I tried walking this far I'd have fallen over a bunch of times might confound how bad I expect to feel about it? Anyway sounds like 『Eval Flash』would be safe to try, yes?"

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"Sounds like it to me."  Haroun stops himself from adding another three sentences of disclaimers about how much of a senior specialist he is not.  He knows more than Bella, so guessing what's safe is his responsibility, and trying to deny that responsibility won't help with the bad day she's having.

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She squints preemptively. "Eval Flash."

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Flash!

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"Heh." Okay so she's tired but how tired -

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About as tired as staying up an hour past her bedtime, or maybe as tired as walking-too-far-and-wanting-to-sit-down in a non-muscley way.  It doesn't feel like it would be hard to learn to tell the difference between that and ordinary physical fatigue, if she was paying attention.

The feeling only lasts a few seconds and then she's back to normal.

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(It's surprising how fast you can become blasé to this kind of thing.  Haroun is hardly shocked out of his undergarments at all.)

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"Again lasted only a little while."

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"That's genuinely odd and I have nothing in particular to explain it.  I guess that means you could spam 『Flash』 to blind monsters?  You're already like five times the adventurer I'd be."

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"What are you studying fire magic and whatnot for, anyway?" Last body is hauled in; she shuts the door.

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"It's a necessary base for a lot of skill trees having to do with alchemy.  Not what you'd call combat-efficient, but few tier-1 subjects are, and I wasn't planning on being an adventurer.  My dungeon runs have all been escorted and paid for."

Haroun climbs back into the driver's seat.  The carriage creaks back into motion.

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"Which you do because you get skills faster when you - oh, for fuck's sake."

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"?" Haroun says in Lictic.  (You can literally just utter the question-mark in that language.)

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That's a really cool feature of Lictic actually but on the other hand. "Uh.

Imagine if you will that you want to invent a game about being an adventurer in a world kinda like this one, but you live in my world where skills aren't discrete magic-y things. You want to have the characters that your players control get stronger over time so they can do more stuff, but you don't want everybody who plays the game to get stronger in the exact same way every time, that kills your replay value and customization and being able to make them do teamwork, yeah? But you want it possible to gauge approximately how strong a character is to match them to appropriate plot events, or at least how strong they could be if they were behaving efficiently, plus you want playing the game to be faster than living someplace for a decade, so instead of using Earth-style abilities and skills that are continuous and messy and forgettable and slow and whatnot, instead you make imaginary, discrete versions of skills, and assign within the game numerical difficulties to various tasks so you can see whether a given character can achieve those things yet. And since you want them to get stronger over time, and to complete some kind of plot that gets harder over time, you give them rewards, such as skill-ups, for doing plot type stuff, such as defeating monsters."

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Haroun is going to need Bella to expand on a number of these concepts.

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"I really am trying here, sorry -" She can go into more detail on how RPGs work.

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"So you're saying that your world sort of... spontaneously reinvented my world as a game?  Wait, didn't you say God said something about that to you?  I'm not sure I'm remembering correctly what you said God said."

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"Uh -" This is what writing things down is for. "He said I was from a higher world and that things should be approximately as I expected given the thing with the demon lord and then he seemed confused I didn't know as much as he expected me to. But maybe I'd know as much as he expected me to if I'd played some particular game. Or possibly a genre of them. I'm not aware of a specific game that's like this."

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"I wonder what makes your world higher than my world if it's not full of ultrapowerful adventurers with a million mana.  But, I mean, my world seems pretty sensible to me so it's not surprising that somebody trying to make up a sensible game would end up there?"

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"I don't know what 'higher' is getting at either, sorry, though I'm pretty sure I have the word right because it appears twice in my writeup. Your world doesn't seem very sensible to me at all - like, there are fantasy worlds from books I could have landed in that would have seemed outlandish but not weird, but the thing with respawning monsters that grant - in a game it'd be called 'experience points' - and the whole skills situation, that seems ultra weird."

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"Well, not every Summoned Hero goes around killing all the kings who allowed slave collars.  So you might not all be from the same place.  And God said you came from a higher world rather than the higher world, right?  What I'm getting at is that my world doesn't seem so crazy to me that you wouldn't expect there to be a world like that.  And I'd expect there to be a world out there that invented something similar to our ecology as a game.  If there's, like, thousands of worlds out there, it could practically be a certainty.  I mean, sure, some aspects of my world might strike you as odd, but how is that any different from the aspects of your world that would strike me as odd?  Why is it less weird for killing monsters to not make Skills increase faster?"

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"I don't have firm plans to kill any kings, and different people in different places and times in my world would have different attitudes anyway, there's billions of us. I -

Do you have a reason to expect it would be a bad idea for me to explain what gravity is, I think that might be illustrative?"

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"You'd know better than I would whether it's weaponizable knowledge, and, er, I sort of know a lot of dangerous things already, like who you are?  I was thinking more that it's the kind of knowledge that marks you as an enormous walking anomaly."

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"Gravity is a force that draws all physical objects towards each other proportionally to the product of their mass and inversely proportionally to the square of the distance between them."

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Haroun is proud of himself for knowing enough mathematics to understand this on the first try!  "Why doesn't any pair of -"  He realizes his mistake a second later.  "Right, if something the size of a whole planet draws things downward at a rate slow enough to be livable, it'd take something the size of a mountain before you could notice any draw towards it at all!  And you'd probably just mistake it for a slightly different slope of the land, I mean, I can't think offhand of any standard measurement of 'downwards' except the direction gravity pulls.  If the mountain is pulling you towards it, it would just appear as the ground there being a little less steep!  You'd have to get a sextant and a clock and start calibrating by the location of the stars in order to get a different fix on directions than that!"

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"I'm not sure I even know what a sextant is. I don't think mountains make a big difference but maybe they do? I suppose your planet could be smaller than mine.

Anyway, I was talking about physics earlier? Gravity is I think the easiest one to describe but there are only a handful of fundamental forces and they're all approximately like that. Basic mathy rules that apply the same way to all the little bits that everything is made of. That's all we've got. Little bits, simple forces. If gravity matches maybe you also have little bits and simple forces. But then you also have spontaneous dungeons and magic spells and experience points."

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If gravity falls off as the square of the distance, considering how far away most of the planet is from him, Haroun doesn't see the total being strong enough to pull on him as hard as gravity does, while a mountain right there exerts no detectable force at all.  This should definitely be testable, and then they can see if the rules are the same for his world and Bella's world!

He's not sure he understands the second half of her argument, though.  "You don't look to me like you're made out of little bits and simple forces.  You've got... hair, and a nose, and I'd go on except that I'd start to sound like a creepy stalker."

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"The little bits are very small. You need a microscope to see cells, which a human has trillions of, and a very fancy microscope to see the littlest bits."

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"So why couldn't dungeon cores, monsters, and Skills be made out of little bits too?"

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"Uh, they can be and prob- well, Skills don't seem likely to be but the others may. But them appearing and respawning is weird, it requires extra stuff going on. And it requires the stuff that's going on to kind of - have regard for larger bits, like 'a monster' or 'your knowledge of knitting'."

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"I'm not sure I understand what it looks like to live in a reality that has no regard for larger bits of things.  Nothing respects your having hair?"

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"Nothing respects my having hair! It has physical properties like anything else."

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"So what makes a dungeon core not be like hair?"

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"Well, hair grows out of my head. What does a dungeon core grow out of?"

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"Other dungeon cores.  You, I presume, came out of another Bella-like object."

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"I... could try to explain natural selection but I'm not actually aware of any practical importance of this line of inquiry. Can you tell me what I'm going to need to know to walk around Relis without being obviously super weird?"

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The carriage trundles on.

Haroun tries to explain Haroun's Guide to Staying Inconspicuous in Elhom IV, as composed by somebody who's never been off Elhom IV and has an extremely loose idea of what might be different between whole worlds as opposed to just countries.

Bella has to ask explicitly about gender roles since Haroun isn't used to thinking of that as something that varies much within a species, as opposed to between them; he gets it once he starts thinking of how to explain elves to humans or vice versa.  In a world where spellcasting forms a large part of combat prowess and lots of professions need to make escorted dungeon runs, there isn't much of a concept of women not being fighters.  Househusbands are not strictly as common as housewives, but they're by no means rare.

Bella asks how many people study 'magic' (that word again) and use it professionally.  Haroun tries to explain that just about every job in existence uses some spellcasting, but much fewer people than that try to climb up past tier-1 spells or learn enough to compose new spells.  Haroun doesn't know exact numbers; his kingdom doesn't have a census.  Haroun's guess for the global ratio of human farmers to human non-farmers is about 2 to 1.  Haroun is amazed at the notion that Bella's world has it down to 1-to-30; this seems to hit him harder than other things Bella has said.

Bella wants to know if she'll run into any elves.  Haroun says that if he's recalling right, the High Elves have professed neutrality in Demon Lord versus Summoned Hero affairs.  He's not sure why, maybe the High Elves used to support the Summoned Hero and then the Demon Lord started killing them over that?  The oldest Elves are much older than the last time the Summoned Hero lost a battle, but they won't tell Bella anything and they say very little to humans in general.  Drow Elves side with the Demon Lord.  Wood Elves stick to a few particular forests.  There's a Machine Elf in Haroun's academy who keeps all the Machine Elf Things in repair, and you have to drink a weird potion before you can see her or talk to her (not recommended).

Haroun describes his family a bit, since Bella has described hers.  He doesn't know his original father and some unknown person blew up his single mother when Haroun was three years old; Haroun used to think of that as a potential plot hook, but after nothing happened for a while he realized it was just one of those random life things rather than a bard's tale.  His adopting maternal cousin and new father are great people, in Haroun's humble opinion, specializing in Plant Magic (alchemical florist) and Life Magic (research healer) respectively.

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"Why isn't it recommended to talk to the Machine Elf? - also do you mean 'potential plot hook' literally."

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"You know, I asked that same thing, and I was told it also wasn't recommended to learn in too much detail why you shouldn't talk to Machine Elves.  - And I'm not sure what you mean by 'literally'?  You grow up hearing legends and tales, you know, you don't even think to ask which ones are true until you're... 8, or 11, I'm not sure when I really woke up in that way.  If you're 7, and your blood-father is a mystery and some unknown evil killed your mother, you're expecting your father to turn up in the next verse and for the unknown evil to kill him off two verses later.  It took me a while to realize that single mothers are pretty common, and so are random burglars who kill your relatives while you're still too young to remember them."  Haroun's voice is only faintly bitter.

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"Yeah. I'm sorry."

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More carriage-trundling!  'Trundle' is such a lovely verb, especially when you add the present participle to it.  In Lictic the verb for the thing a moving carriage does is 'kabbabunk' which onomatopoeias the same concept, but lacks some ineffable grace of the English.

Haroun tries to explain why it takes money to move Bella between their next destination of Relis and the academy of Cowcorn, or alternatively his family's home in Pigbridge.  The kingdom is broken up into duchies, counties, and baronies, and each of those has very little incentive not to tax the traffic that crosses their territory for everything it will bear.  If one territory tried to extract less, that would just give their neighbors a chance to extract more.  The Adventurer's Guild, Merchant's Guild, and magical academies like Cowcorn have enough pull to protect adventurers, merchants, and students from the worst of it.  If you're not affiliated with any major power structure, you're the equivalent of an uninsured patient in the American healthcare system; people will gouge you harder just to establish a higher base point for negotiating with the bigger players.

Bella says she was expecting the money to be more for inns and stabling the horses and eating on the road.  Haroun replies that bread isn't that hard to make.  Bella resigns herself to eating a lot of bread.  Haroun replies that stew isn't that much harder to make, if you have a permit to make it and a permit to sell it.

If you do sign up with the Adventurer's Guild, of course, they will soak you for everything they think you have, at least until you get up to A-rank or S-rank and are a power in your own right.  But the graduated fees and structures would allow somebody who already has high combat potential - like Bella, whether she's comfortable with that or not - to sign up for the Adventurer's Guild, pay a minor fee to go on a first-floor dungeon run where she'll be observed to make sure she can handle herself before she gets her E-rank guild tinplate, and then Bella can turn in a few minor bounties on first-floor monsters, without having to rank up past E to the higher fee schedule.  Even after taking into account the city's cut, the baron's cut, the count's cut, the duke's cut, the king's cut, and the fee for all the paperwork somebody needs to fill out before and after the dungeon run, that should get her enough money to make it to Cowcorn given the lower passage fees for adventurers, plus enough to stay at an inn a few days while she talks to Haroun's professors.

...Or possibly Bella would consider signing up to learn at Cowcorn for a while?  Magister Sting could probably manage that, if Bella exhibited her strange knowledge of 『Language』or demonstrated rate-of-change-math.  Magister Sting would certainly manage it if she found out who Bella really was and wasn't otherwise a demonic spy.  Magister Sting might deduce it anyways if Bella shows sufficiently foreign knowledge; she's sharp like that.

After an hour or two, the conversation winds down.  Bella hasn't learned everything she wants to know from Haroun, and the converse is no more true; but Haroun is mentally exhausted and needs a break, and Bella feels the need to write in her notebook.

The carriage reaches the gates of Relis, the sun setting behind them as they do.

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Bella has lots to write about but wants to economize on space; they have paper here but whether they have spiral-bound notebooks is another story entirely.

She has a look at Relis once she can see it. What does it look like?

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From a distance, it looks like towering city walls, four stories high at least and of gleaming stone, with encampments spread out around the city proper; mobile wheeled stalls with canopies, full of merchants hawking wares.  No visible permanent structures outside the wall.  If Bella was worried about the smell of a medieval city, it doesn't smell that terrible once they're in smelling range; Haroun confirms that Earth-Skill users are quite good at digging sewers, and cleaners with simple Water Skills can wash filth into them on a regular basis.  The merchant encampments smell a lot like strange creatures being fried over charcoal fires, and only a little like unwashed human.  The merchants' and buyers' clothes are worn, though not torn; the more prosperous merchants can afford rents for real shops inside the city (says Haroun).

The carriage reaches the gate.  The guards are... surprisingly not put out by a carriage full of dead bodies!  But Haroun and Bella are directed to go straight to the Adventurer's Guild office before it closes, and not dawdle along the way.

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"I'm thinking I'll go ahead and sign up to stab some chickeny monsters? I assume I can earn money lots of ways but that one would attract the least attention."

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"I'm... not really sure what-all you can do, exactly," Haroun replies in a low voice.  "Your, uh, special spellcasting skills might be worth something to some merchant who needs a very complicated but very low-mana spell cast for them.  I'm sure there's somebody in this city who'd pay three gold to know what one word of 『Language』 really means, or have some old book translated.  I just haven't figured out any good ideas for inconspicuously finding out who..."

From the inside, Relis looks... not sparkling clean, but cleaner than a rundown American city would be; it's a standout quality by comparison with what Earth's medieval cities were like.  Buildings are tall, narrow, and individually unique in construction and layout.  Most are more than one story high, built with mortar and highly regular stone bricks.  Commercial buildings are decorated with garishly bright colored paints.  The nicer shops have heavily barred glass windows displaying their storefront; the bars are some bright unrusted metal.  Some very nice residential buildings also have shuttered windows with glass panes in the shutters.  Food is sold everywhere.  Other shops tend to segregate by street; clothing-sellers, tool-sellers.  One whole street is lined with shops selling thin books of cloth-bound paper; they seem to all be related to various Skills, none on this particular street being spellbooks.

They go down a street that sells daggers - just daggers, knives, poniards, and so on; no swords.  And then they're at the Adventurer's Guild office, a towering structure of six floors (by layers of shuttered windows) roughly as tall as a four-story building might be in Bella's world.

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It's like a cross between a Renaissance faire and Legoland. "Can you do most of the talking?"

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Haroun feels a bit nervous, but he can't possibly deny that this is the sensible course of action.  He nods.

A brief conversation between Haroun and somebody standing just outside the building's door/gate produces a few yelled words inside, and then some much sturdier-looking men and women tromp out and unload the five bandits and the two dead Adventurers from the carriage.  The two dead Adventurers being treated with rather more respect, of course.  When they're done, Haroun takes one of the batches of oilcloth-wrapped papers out of the carriage's strongbox, and hands it off to complete the mail delivery that the two dead Adventurers were performing on the side.  After that, a young-looking boy in an official-looking uniform leads away the horses and the carriage, giving in return an ivory token with a glowing rune on it; Haroun doesn't seem alarmed by this.

The interior of the building is nice, almost like an Earthly hotel.  Polished metal, wide gleaming spiral marble stairs with no railings.  Nothing resembling carpet.  They're escorted up to the second floor, first office on the left.

Inside this office, a little old lady in enormous heavy plate armor takes down Haroun's halting report about the incident that claimed the lives of two C-rank adventurers.  The little old lady listens without much expression until Haroun gets to the part about Bella showing up and cutting the hand off one bandit, and the other bandit then offering a truce, which Bella accepted.

"Why did you accept their offer of truce?" says the little old lady in enormous heavy plate armor.  Haroun starts to say something, and she cuts him off with a sharp gesture, looking squarely at Bella.

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"I didn't want to kill them. I arrived on the scene late, wasn't sure it was as straightforward as it looked."

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The little old lady arches a single eyebrow.  "With the bandits not wearing guildplates, and two Adventurers with guildplates already dead on the scene?"

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"I said 'as it looked'. If it had looked very confusing, I would have said something else."

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"Hmmm," says the old lady.

Haroun describes more of what happened, including the part where the bandit stripped Marussa and Aralin's pouches.  He doesn't have a choice about including this part; the Adventurer's Guild isn't going to miss the fact that their pouches were lightened.

"Surely the situation would seem more plainly straightforward at that point," the old lady says, looking at Bella again.

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"I think he was good at sleight of hand or something, I was watching but didn't see everything. Is there a guild rubric for when to kill people I will need to use if I sign on?"

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"You are considering becoming an Adventurer, hoh?"  The old lady raises a single eyebrow again.  "There are rules about when you may kill, yes.  Killing is never mandatory for us; that is one of the differences between being an Adventurer and being a common soldier.  To be sure, there are missions that may require killing to complete.  You cannot accept a merchant's contract to protect a caravan from bandits, and then do less than your best to protect the merchant.  Ought we to mark down that you are in the rare category of Adventurer who is not accepting any missions like that?  If you become an Adventurer, that is.  I should warn you, it would greatly restrain your range of revenue-making activities, if so.  Alternatively, of course, you could tell me that you weren't confident of your ability to win without being hurt if you continued fighting.  After all, you hadn't actually accepted any kind of contract to protect this particular carriage, from theft or otherwise."  The old lady is smiling.  It's not an easy smile to decipher.

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"I hadn't, no. Is it hard to change that kind of designation later?"

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The eyebrow goes up higher.  "I've known several Adventurers who had that designation and they all made something of a pointed deal about how much they didn't ever foresee it changing.  But no, in theory it wouldn't be hard to change at all."  The old lady taps her gauntleted fingers on her desk.  (She's been taking written notes, apparently without the slightest added writing difficulty from the gauntlets.)  "Young lady, I have seen a great deal of bullshit over the course of my current job.  I know that you and this lad are hiding something from me, and that it has something to do with why you let the bandits go.  And if I wasn't certain before, the way that young boy tried to hide a flinch just now would have confirmed it.  Of course, I also know that people may have many reasons for not telling their whole stories.  But I have two dead Adventurers on my hands and I need to know that this was not in any way your fault, nor to your profit.  Was it?"

"You have Social Skills," Haroun says in a low voice.  In any other circumstance it would be an obvious remark, but the Summoned Hero may not have realized it, he has to -

"Of course I do," she says sharply.  "Now shut up and let her answer."

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"Not my fault, not to my profit. They were dead when I arrived, and I haven't taken any money, and I don't know the guys who ran off or anything."

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The young lady is strangely hard to read.  But the boy isn't reacting like that pointed question, or that answer, was close to the heart of what they're hiding.

"Very well," says she.  "If you're still interested in becoming an Adventurer, come by tomorrow and go through the usual processes; it's a bit late to start tonight.  The fact that you're hiding something interesting will go into my notes, but you wouldn't be, say, the first runaway bandit chief's daughter to join us.  Or the dozenth."  She turns to the boy.  "Finish your report."

The boy finishes.

The elderly ex-runaway-bandit-chief's-daughter gives the two a cheerful wave goodbye as they depart, feeling rather nostalgic about the whole business.

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"Social skills," prompts Bella with irritation, under her breath, once they're out of earshot.

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"I'm sorry," Haroun says under his breath.  "I didn't think fast enough to realize it wouldn't be obvious."

Then they both stay quiet long enough to collect the bounty on the slain bandits.  Haroun was worried somebody would make an issue about the bounty also belonging to Marussa and Aralin, but nobody does.  It comes to fifteen silver, which is enough to let them stay in an inn for several nights if it's not much more expensive than Haroun expects.

Their carriage is waiting for them when they get back outside.  "Anything special you're looking for in an inn?" says Haroun, after they've moved a ways down the street from the Guild.

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"Good sound isolation? Indoor plumbing. Is it weird to split the room, do they have ones with separate beds..."

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"Split room shouldn't be a problem.  If you mean indoor plumbing as in toilets, that's standard.  If you mean drinking water on demand and hot baths, that will probably run us around double the nightly cost, but we can afford it if you're going dungeon-raiding anyways.  Complete sound isolation takes expensive 『Air Magic』 enchantments, and most of those places would be, uh, catering to short-term negotiated romances.  Makes it sort of awkward to ask about the thickness of ordinary walls.  Once we find a place, we can check whether a low voice inside is audible through the door."

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"Yeah, the market segmentation thing occurred to me a bit after I said it. I'm accustomed to the fancier plumbing situation and it would be nice if affordable but I don't currently have a change of clothes I can wear in public so it's not as big a deal as it could be."

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"The kind of inn that has hot baths will offer a service to clean clothes.  The spell isn't trivial, but it works on large batches of clothing simultaneously so it scales well.  It'll cost around two copper and get back to you in about (term denoting a quarter of 1.6 hours)."

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"Oh, cool, that's faster than we have it."

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An inn with hot baths is located.  (To be honest, Haroun would rather stay at one of those too, at least for tonight.)  A split room is rented.  The carriage gets parked in a stables with warded doors and one of the innkeeper's younger girls watching over everything.  Five silver for the night... well, they can afford that for one night, at least, and who knows what tomorrow will bring.

Haroun's world has something similar to hotel room keys, but they're more like hotel room stones with glowing letters written on them; if the letters stop glowing, your time is up and the door won't open anymore.  The keys can be stolen off your person - a hotel with rekeyable biometric locks charges in gold, not silver.

Bella finds that she can't easily make out individual words through the door if Haroun talks with a low voice inside the room.  Haroun verifies the same for Bella's low voice.

Haroun is frankly a bit tired - it's been a long day for him too - but he can answer a few more Bella questions before bedtime.

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"Can you give me a quick rundown of social Skills, and, uh, maybe all the big skill categories?" She kind of also wants to know how the room keys work but it doesn't seem important.

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This is sort of like asking an Earth-person to give an impromptu rundown of all the major subjects in science and technology.  Haroun will give it a try anyways.

Social Skills are first and foremost Skills; anything that people can get better at with practice can become a Skill.  In Haroun's own mind, there's no pre-existing sharp delineation between Skills that work by direct empathy versus Skills that work by reading facial microexpressions or whatever.  Asking whether a reading Skill can be blocked by an opaquing or faking Skill doesn't help; an opaquing Skill could easily include subskills for controlling your facial microexpressions.  Testing how readable Bella is might answer some of those questions, but of course that's exactly what they want to know.  And in any case, 『Unique Skills』 are a big enough deal that one with a name like 『Inviolable Mind』 could easily turn out to interfere with reading facial microexpressions too if that was being done in a Skill-based way, just because.

The range of Social Skills isn't much narrower than the regular human range of Social Skills?  Especially important or popular ones include Leadership, Bargaining, Dispute Resolution, 『Game Theory』, Lie Detection, Lying, and Seduction.  If Bella finds herself wanting to sleep with a man she met only a few minutes earlier - assuming that kind of Skill even works on Bella - she should probably be even more suspicious than she otherwise would be.  The fundamental weakness of Social Skills is that, as with any other Skill, improving at some procedure with practice doesn't mean that procedure is useful.  To put it in Bella's terms, practicing Freudian psychotherapy and becoming extremely good at coming up with plausible interpretations of dreams isn't going to save you in the event that Freudianism is bullshit.  Studying pickup artistry and becoming very good at 'negging' isn't going to help if this is a person who doesn't take well to being negged; you'll just become able to shoot off your own foot faster.  Ultimately there's no such thing as a Skill for 'successful persuasion', there's only Skills that correspond to particular people's theories of how to persuade others, and whatever they ended up practicing based on their own observations and theories.  Sure, some of them became good at it by external standards, and that's the basis on which people select which Skill-acquisition exercises to do and which Skill trees to go down.  But you're still fundamentally getting what the other person practiced at based on their theories of what was working, not anything that's guaranteed to actually work.

If you want good Bargaining Skills, you'd better hang out with enough successful merchants that you can ask them what books they read and what exercises they did.  But that process does get you a lot further than it would in Earth - you're much more likely to actually pick up the same Skill if you do the same exercises the successful merchant did.

What are the big Skill categories?  Goodness, what a question.  It depends on how you look at things.  Melee could be divided (of course there'd be people who argue with you about the particular division) into physical close attack, physical defense, physical ranged, spellcasting for close attack, spellcasting for defense, spellcasting ranged, spellcasting battlefield control, spellcasting for support before the battle, spellcasting for recovery after the battle, alchemy used before and after the battle, and enchantments for supporting all of the above.

Crafting Skills... gosh, Haroun doesn't really know what sort of divisions would apply here.  Going by which Guild sells the finished goods doesn't seem very fundamental; lots of finished goods require all kinds of different Crafting Skills as input.  He could try for a division like 'Skills that work metal versus Skills that work plant products versus Skills that work everything else' but would there really be a point to that?  What makes so many Crafting Skills be 2nd-tier if not 3rd-tier is the number of different processes you have to tie together to get the finished product.  Maybe it's worth distinguishing enchantments on tools that help make more things, versus enchantments on the things themselves?  Objects that require complicated individual enchantments will obviously tend to be much more expensive than objects that only require heavily enchanted tools to make; but even those would be cheap per-use by comparison with consumables like potions.  That's one possible view of a big division in Crafting; the difference between consumables and reusables and tools.  Is this helping at all?  If you wanted to study how to craft daggers at Haroun's academy, they'd send you off to a dozen different courses for the first-tier Skills you'd need first, and those first-tier Skills would come from all over the place and be shared by a hundred other possible Crafting specialties.

All the Skills related to Farming are a major part of what makes the world go around, even if they don't figure as much in tales and legends.  But of course that category includes some Crafting and Tamer and Social Skills; a farmer needs to know how to sharpen a plow, feed an ox, and sell the produce to a merchant.

Bella may get the impression, as she listens, that Haroun's world doesn't think in quite the same way about dividing knowledge into compartmentalized Subjects, the way a college's course catalog does on Earth.  There are just thousands upon thousands of Skills, and all the 2nd-tier ones have multiple prerequisites, and that's their experienced ground reality for what kinds of knowledge depend on each other.  Any attempt at categorizing knowledge more broadly is hard for them to take seriously because of all the Skills whose prerequisite lists will cross over whatever boundaries you care to name.  The most natural division their society sees is the division between, say, a Close-Combat Adventurer and an Alchemical Florist.  But those people are distinguished by their jobs, the kind of services they sell, not by their having studied only one particular kind of knowledge.  They're both going to have the Bargaining Skill listed as something you should try to acquire if you're taking on that profession - though in neither case will it be a core Skill, a priority.  You can get by without investing time in Bargaining yourself, if you lack talent and have a sufficiently trusted friend who is sufficiently good at it; though this is a proverbial way of courting disaster.

Some professions have specialties which happen to run on tightly interrelated Skill lists with lots of mutually reinforcing prerequisites.  Haroun's term for this is, inevitably, translated in Bella's mind as a 'Class'.

Haroun wonders how Bella's world gets by without the ability to directly tell how much Skill people have acquired.  How can anybody tell which academies are best?  How do guilds distinguish masters from apprentices?  Are there specialized guilds that do things like testing the cutting power of swords before they're sold?  It seems like you'd have to invest a lot more effort in that sort of thing if there weren't guilds certifying that people have acquired all necessary Skills to their required levels.  And wouldn't that tend to skew the incentives toward manufacturing goods with high immediate performance and less long-term durability?  Do hospitals spend tons of time and paperwork measuring which healers get the best patient outcomes, and wouldn't that give healers an incentive to only accept patients with better prognoses?  It's not like Bella's people can directly measure anyone's skill level at the trickier healing spells, and anytime a patient dies the healer could just claim they had an especially tricky case.  How do you verify that educators actually have the Social Skills for Teaching, rather than just being good at persuading people to believe they understood something?  How do you even figure out which Teaching Skills are the good ones - the ones that taught the greatest heroes - if there aren't any Skills?  Why don't their academies just degenerate into a lot of people airily waving their hands and pretending to teach things while actually uttering nonsense?  Bella's culture must have all kinds of fascinating adaptations to a reality where competence, fundamentally, cannot be measured except in special cases... he's drifting off the point again, isn't he.  He might need to go to bed soon.

It's just hard for him to guess what aspects of his world Bella would find surprising!  Skills operated by rituals and incantations?  There are Skills like that for summoning/generating monsters that need Taming but then stick by your side until killed, though those take a lot of mana.  There are also cheaper Skills that generate something like an illusion of a monster that's capable of wielding claws and doing other physical damage - though that's still well above Haroun's own mana and skill range.  There are incantation-operated Skills for improving the accuracy of thrown daggers, and curing a disease that sounds like scurvy, and clipping toenails, and cleaning clothes, and helping fields absorb fertilizer, and changing trees to have prettier leaves.  Nobody has ever developed a Skill that will change the color of the leaves in a new tree that grows from the old tree's seed, and some people get sort of mystical about that, talking about how the power of seeds to grow new life is a power beyond sapients to master, a power beyond 『Language』 even.  Is any of this helping Bella at all?

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"I don't know how this works in as much detail as you're asking, unfortunately. Uh, I think it's all helping form a sort of gestalt picture of the wacky universe I find myself in and I appreciate it but we can go to bed now yeah."

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Haroun offers to take a quick hot shower and then go to sleep on his side of the split room, so that Bella can take a longer shower on the side of the room that has a shower, and send out her clothes to be laundered while she's doing that.  (Water isn't metered; the expensive aspect is the fixed-overhead infrastructure of an enchanted water heater that draws on ambient mana and doesn't need, say, gas power.  You need a permit to draw on ambient mana in a big city like this, but it's not going to run out.)

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If he will explain to her the procedure for arranging laundry then she is on board with this plan. The hot shower is a nice almost normal thing after a long day.

She goes to sleep afterwards in her freshly laundered looted outfit for lack of an alternative, and is tired enough to do so pretty soundly. She talks in her sleep, in English.

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If she keeps it low, she won't wake Haroun.  He's pretty tired.

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It's pretty soft, yep. And stops with barely a mumble when she wakes up in the morning.

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Haroun wakes up when the sky outside is getting brighter before sunrise, which relative to Earth's clock would probably be around 6:15am this season and latitude.  How late does Bella sleep and speak?

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She wakes up at a quarter after seven!

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In that case, Haroun upon awakening will hear dire murmurs in an unknown language coming from the door dividing the split room.  Listening carefully, he can barely make out that it sounds like Bella's voice, but of course he has no idea what she's saying.  Or doing.  Her people don't have incantations, do they?  So it's not a slow-cast ritual.  Some observance of faith, or practice of mental discipline?  One thing is for sure, he's not interrupting the Summoned Hero while she's doing it.

Waiting for Bella to finish whatever-it-is-she's-doing will give Haroun some time to organize his thoughts in a less exhausted state.  His utilitarian priority... would be having Bella win her upcoming fight, unless Bella decides to trust in Professor Nightstar (Haroun's not sure he would, in her shoes) and Professor Nightstar actually has any better ideas.  His personal priority is getting his Mom and Dad onto a different continent, unless Bella being here isn't correlated with the final battle being centered on this part of Elhom IV.  It would be useful to have already studied a lot more Summoned Hero history, at this point, but alas.  It's also something of a moot point.  Haroun's Mom, Haroun's Dad, most of Haroun's other relatives on either side, and all of Haroun's friends that he made at the academy or before, aren't the sort to run away from this fight any more than he is.  Something feels wrong about that; why can't they all see that the sensible course of action is for him to stay and them to run away?

Maybe if Bella survives her battle she'll be powerful enough to resurrect a few people afterwards, and grateful enough to prioritize the same people Haroun would.

Haroun's thoughts keep sticking to this point and ruminating on it.

He is unduly tempted to see whether Professor Nightstar actually has any better ideas.  But this is certainly the Summoned Hero's decision, not his.  Haroun must remain dispassionate and unbiased in presenting the Summoned Hero with the relevant facts.

Haroun tries gainfully to turn his thoughts to the morning dungeon crawl, assuming Bella is actually allowed into the Adventurer's Guild and still wants to do that.  Haroun pretty much has to go along for this, right?  It's only floor one... which may already be beyond Haroun's realistic combat capacity; he's not specialized for this.  But Bella can defeat bandits without taking a scratch - ordinarily a job for prepared C-rank adventurers of equal number, if the adventurers don't want to risk casualties.  And if for some reason Bella proves weaker in this dungeon crawl than she seemed, it's Haroun's place to fall in battle protecting her.  This is a universally acknowledged duty of the Summoned Hero's companions.

What is the Summoned Hero doing in there?  It's been a while.

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Eventually she knocks on the adjoining door, softly, in case he's still asleep.

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"Good morning?" (lit. 'morning-hey'.)

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"Good morning - did I wake you, I don't know what time it is -"

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"I've been up for (0.8 hours).  Door can be opened at will.  Uh, is it okay if I ask what you were doing in there?  If it's not okay I'll never ask again."

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She opens the door. She's finger-combing her hair for lack of a brush. "...sleeping? People here sleep, right?"

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This is possibly bad.  Haroun has no idea how bad.

"I thought I heard - words, they were hard to hear distinctly, but they sounded more like your native language than mine.  Slow, separated, not complete sentences.  For the last (0.8 hours)."

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"...okay? Uh, I just woke up. Maybe I was talking in my sleep. I don't remember having any interesting dreams but I don't usually remember them anyway."

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"Talking in your sleep?  I've never heard of people talking in their sleep.  Is this a normal thing on your world?"  Haroun is still concerned about her, say, having an alternate personality that takes over her body while she thinks she's sleeping.

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"I don't know how common it is exactly and it sounds like I've been doing it an unusual amount but it's not that weird."

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"Huh."  This is briefly reassuring for the few moments it takes Haroun to wonder why he's never heard of this happening with anybody else.  "Maybe get into the habit of saying 『『『 before you go to sleep and ⊥』』』⊥ when you're sure you're fully awake.  Oh, ⊥ is one of the pieces of 『Language』 that's safe to say unquoted - it causes a whole spell to not do anything if it's evaluated at any point inside that spell."

(⊥ translates as the unfulfillable clause or an empty list of things such that at least one of those things must be done.)

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"That's a good idea. ⊥』』』⊥."

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Haroun's Skill for Extrapolating Further Consequences of a Proposition is really getting a workout ever since he met Bella!  He wouldn't be surprised to find that it's gone up from Lv. 3 to Lv. 4.

Breakfast in the inn's common room is free for residents; scrambled eggs and oat porridge with chunks of apple.  Filling and nutritious, but deliberately not so tasty as to tempt people to eat there instead of a restaurant, if they otherwise have the time.  The dining room is sparsely occupied at this time of morning; a well-off couple that looks married-ish, wearing sharp blue matching tunics, is eating quickly but politely in one corner.  A lone man in extra-light armor wearing a copper guildplate is eating a very large quantity of eggs, accompanied by cheeses that aren't on the menu; possibly he brought them in from elsewhere.

Has Bella changed her mind about heading to the Adventurer's Guild, and then, if that part works out, the minor dungeon near Relis?

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Bella loads up on oatmeal and eggs; they didn't stop for dinner last night. When she is full the guild still seems like the best idea.

"Can you give me a sketch of how you expect this to go?" she asks Haroun.

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"We go back to the Adventurer's Guild.  If your weird unknown Skill," because somebody might be listening, "doesn't screw things up, or they're willing to mark it down as just one more thing about you, we pay the one-silver fee to get you a provisional license.  We ride our horses to that dungeon whose name I forget.  Uh, I'm not sure what part of the dungeon crawl process might need more description - you've played games like that, right?  We go down a flight of stairs into corridors that will probably be stone and lit by brightly glowing moss, we find monsters, they attack us or we attack them, they die, the monsters mostly dissipate and sometimes leave behind valuable body parts we can take as loot.  Occasionally we may run across a treasure chest though probably just tin or copper on the first floor.  I definitely wouldn't expect any monsters on the first floor to have 『Qualia』, though I can't cast the relevant spell to check each time.  I wouldn't expect the monsters to have ranged attacks, support abilities, or poisons either.  It'll probably just be four different kinds of nonpoisonous giant spider, or something.  Uh, tactics: you are much much better in melee than I am, and I should probably conserve my own mana for emergencies rather than trying to support you on any routine basis.  Basically, you are the combatant and if anything tries to attack me, please protect me.  And then you keep doing that until you have whatever the minimum haul is to get you a non-provisional tin guildplate, or ten silver after taxes, whichever is more.  I think that should be enough to get us to Cowcorn, so long as you've got the guildplate to avoid travel issues.  If it's going really quickly and safely, we could go for twenty silver and have some safety margin for nicer food.  If you end up able to get less than five silver of after-tax loot per day, or things start to seem dangerous, we should abort and look for a different plan.  And a different inn."

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"I haven't played many games like that, I prefer civ-builders, but I'm loosely familiar with the aesthetic. Sounds like a plan, and yeah, I will avoid letting spiders get you. If you are slightly got by any spiders what are we looking at to get you patched up?"

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"...basically I'd have to get to either my family or the university, if it's more medical care than we can afford here.  If it's more urgent than that..."  Haroun thinks, and lowers his voice further.  "You could take a risk on telling somebody your secret, and ask them to help.  It would be your call whether the situation was worth the risk.  I'd understand if the answer was no.  That, uh, scary lady from last night is the first person who'd come to my mind.  Though it's always a risk trusting somebody with superior Social Skills."

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"I'm more asking what is in fact the price of intermediate healing. This also applies if I'm got."

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"If we can't tie a bandage on it and wait for four days to get to my academy, we can't afford to get it healed on our current budget.  I guess if a spider gave you a deep bite on your sword-arm, you could get that healed for ten silver and try to continue?  Frankly, I'd consider it enough of a risk past that point that we should look for a different strategy instead."

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"...I wonder if I'm ambidextrous now." She tries writing left handed.

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Bella's fingers do what Bella thinks they should do.

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"Cool. Okay. I'll try to keep the spiders off both of us though."

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"This whole endeavor is predicated on the assumption that, if you can fight off bandits, you should be very nearly completely safe on the first floor of a minor dungeon, even if you have to protect me too.  Otherwise it'd be less dangerous to just trust somebody.  Also, am I right that you want me along, even though you'll have to protect me and I'm not much of a combatant?  I was imagining that you would want around somebody with - more experience in key areas - in case something unexpected came up.  But maybe I was wrong about that and you'd feel better on your own."

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"I would like you along in case there are surprises, yes. If it makes sense for me to do the same floor of the dungeon twice I can probably do the second time alone, and maybe I'll get used to dungeons as a class after more practice."

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Haroun nods.

Shall they set out?

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Yup. Adventurer's Guild ho.

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The Adventurer's Guild building looks the same as it did last time!  It's as if there weren't any major renovations since then.

After temporarily stabling their horses and being directed to the appropriate office, Haroun explains what the two of them want to do.  Bella is interested in joining permanently and is looking for a provisional license so she can enter the nearby dungeon and get enough loot for a proper tinplate.  She's strong enough to protect Haroun and wants him along for, uh, personal reasons, so Haroun needs a one-time guided entry permit.  There's some skepticism from the official and well-meant warnings about the unwisdom of going into a dungeon accompanied by somebody who isn't a full Adventurer.  Haroun tries to convey that he understands all the obvious reasons why this is a terrible idea and he is set on doing it anyways.

Ultimately, the official relents.  This isn't Earth; the Adventurer's Guild is not concerned about lawsuits and liability and they will ultimately let you commit suicide if you are bent on doing that.  Their job is to make more Adventurers and collect more fees from them, not keep would-be applicants safe.

The official asks Bella to donate one drop of blood, into a small crystal pipette set with glowing runes too tiny to read.  If Bella's sword isn't currently sterile enough for her to perforate herself, an intrinsically sterile dagger can be supplied for her.  (Obviously, an Adventurer capable of protecting this innocent boy-student will have the skills to use sharp objects, right?)

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She can get some blood out of her pinky, anyway.

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...That is not how you hold a dagger.

The official looks at the paper.  The blood ritual should have infused it with a description of the applicant's stats, and her levels in any relevant common Skills.

Instead the paper says:

STR 8+??
DEX 4+??
CON 9
INT ??
WIS ??
CHA ??

HP 11
SP 9
MP ??

The paper doesn't list any Skills at all.

This could reasonably be described as more or less completely absurd.

"Pardon me," says the official, putting the obvious questions on hold to test something else.  "Would you mind exhibiting a few cuts of the sword in whatever form you may practice?"

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Bella gives herself four seconds to think of a graceful out and then draws the sword and does a poor impression of Errol Flynn.

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What.

What is this the official doesn't even.

Bella's exhibition looks exactly like her ridiculous stat report.  It looks like a sword form performed by somebody with STR boosted by ??, DEX boosted by ??, and no melee-related Skills whatsoever.

"Have you literally ever held a sword before today," says the official.

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"Yes." Yesterday.

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The official manages to stop herself from asking whether Bella has held a sword since before the last three days.  Instead she holds up the mostly-blank sheet of paper.  "Explain this?"

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"I've never had it turn up a less confusing result than that. Probably a 『Rare Skill』but I don't know what it's called because it declines to print itself out."

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The official almost calls bullshit on this, but she can't actually think of any more reasonable explanation.  Concealment Skills are designed to give reasonable non-question-begging results, not send up giant flare signals of exploding absurdity.

...The official is just going to go along with what the Vice-Guildmaster said about that interesting young lady who defeated a couple of bandits and brought in five other bandits dead, alongside the bodies of two dead C-ranks.  Namely:  She's hiding something, she's probably not evil, and be a little nice to her if possible.

On reflection, it's probably that sword.  The sword, scabbard, and belt together look much more expensive than anything else Bella is carrying.

Working admin in the Adventurer's Guild teaches you two things:  One, the world is fundamentally not a normal place, and two, most of the anomalies are none of your business.  If a young lady gets her hands on some kind of crazy enchanted sword and suddenly wants to visit the first floor of a dungeon, you would need to know a whole lot more about what was really going on, before you could interfere in a way that was actually helpful and didn't get your own hands burned.

"I suppose if you can move around a blade that quickly, you can handle yourself on the first floor, no deeper," says the official.  "Would you like to buy a beginner's book of 『Sword』 forms for ten copper?  A day or two of practice and you should be able to get 『Sword』 Lv. 1."

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"That sounds great once I am less cash-constrained."

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After Bella and Haroun leave, before they've even picked up their horses, the official is already reporting to the Vice Guildmaster, just in case all these anomalies correspond to Trouble above her own pay level in some way that only the Vice Guildmaster can infer.

The Vice Guildmaster hears this report, shrugs, writes her own summary of the affair, and immediately faxes it via magical communications artifact to the Adventurer's Guild regional headquarters.  Just in case all these anomalies correspond to Trouble above her pay level.

A minor but highly cleared official at the regional Guild headquarters will read this report immediately, shrug, and forward it at once to the global headquarters.

A senior official at the global headquarters will read it immediately, and shrug one final time.  They will then toss their copy of the report to a junior runner, to be dated and filed in the usual filing cabinet for Anomalous New Adventurer Reports; marked with the purple tag of something that isn't obviously Trouble right now, but remains unexplained and might turn out to be part of some other Trouble later.

Centuries of experience have shown that this procedure minimizes the amount of Trouble that is allowed to pointlessly and preventably explode, though of course there is still plenty of Trouble left over.

The entire process is very predictable, if you are someone interested in predicting it.

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Bella and Haroun are riding horses through Relis, heading for the town gate.

Bella has been given the better-trained and more docile horse, but this will still take a lot of attention from her.  At least until riding the horse suddenly becomes easier around halfway to the gate.

After that, if Bella cares to cast her gaze around town, she's liable to notice some more things, now that it's brighter outside and there are more people around.  In particular, Bella is liable to notice some people with fur, tails, and pointed ears; and some empty-eyed people wearing heavy collars of unrusting red metal.  The overlap between these two population groups is substantially greater than statistical happenstance would predict.

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"What are the - fuzzy people called," she murmurs. "- also I think I just leveled in horseback riding and that was weird."

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Haroun looks around and spots the wolfkin in question, a perfectly ordinary-looking furry woman buying goat giblets from a butcher.  "Beastfolk.  You don't have them in your world?"

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"Humans are it for species that can hold a conversation. - is 'beastfolk' a polite word?"

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"As polite as 'human' is.  There's some people who consider it a curse word, but that's on them, not the speaker."

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"You could say that about any curse word were you so inclined. Why do they consider it a curse word?"

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"Same reason that 'Relican' is a curse word in some other kingdoms?  A tribe of wolfkin somewhere killed your grandfather's grandfather's grandfather and your own father is still blaming all wolfkin everywhere for that, even though your grandfather's grandfather's grandfather's brother probably killed the killer's mother."

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"Wolfkin being the specific kind? Are there many kinds?"

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"More than I could easily remember to recite.  Wolfkin are some of the most common, though.  Uh, tigerkin and Cait Sith also come to mind as some folks you're likely to see more of around these parts."

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"Quick rundown on their deal as compared to humans?"

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"...more fur?  Less likely to lean vegetarian if their crossed species is a predator, more likely to lean vegetarian if their crossed species was herbivorous?  Some have more sensitive noses, and you're less likely to find those in towns kept less clean than this town?  Lots of them correspond to particular tribes or subcultures on a regional basis but not in any globally identifiable way?  Wolfkin are maybe unusually loyal to each other on average but a lot of people would dispute that?  They're basically just people."

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"...when you say crossed species is that literal somehow?"

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"I mean what a wolf is to a wolfkin or a tiger to a tigerkin.  I'm not sure what you mean by 'literal' there."  (The Lictic word for 'literal' in the sense of 'string literal' or 'quoted term' is identical to the Lictic word for 'literal' in the sense of 'actually the thing'.)

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"I don't actually need to know probably." Can she level faster by paying lots of attention to her horse skill and applying it and trying to extrapolate from it.

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Bella doesn't level up again by the time their horses reach the edge of town.  They exit the town after showing their temporary dungeon-entry permits to the guards, getting the stamp that will allow easy town re-entry later.  The local minor dungeon is about 1.6 hours away.  Would Bella like to continue trying to become Better At Horse?

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As long as she's riding a horse anyway and until she thinks of another question, which probably won't take long, why not.

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How long will it take Bella to think up another question?  Horse-Riding still hasn't obviously gone up to Lv. 2 after five minutes of riding a dirt trail across relatively boring hills of mixed green and yellowing grass.

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After five minutes she figures it's worth asking if there are best practices for getting skill-ups besides just practicing the thing and doing dungeons. She asks. "And is there synergy if you do those at the same time so combat skills level up faster?"

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Bella asks the most interesting questions.  Not so much because the answers are unknown, this time, but because the questions imply such interesting other possibilities you could imagine, if you didn't already know how things worked.  "There's all sorts of skill books reputed to contain particular exercises that will get you faster to the next level of some particular Skill.  I'm not sure I could say there was a general principle besides that?  I mean, going on some of the things you've said before, if a Video Game tells you exactly how close you are to getting the next Skill level, and you can use that to determine exactly how many points you gain from doing a particular exercise, we don't have anything like that.  People try to figure out on a case-by-case basis what's most effective, and of course people argue about that."

Bella's final question is less ambiguous in Lictic than it would have sounded in English; in Lictic it clearly means 'Is there synergy if you do ((the exercises) and (doing dungeons)) at the same time so (that is why) combat skills level up faster?'  Haroun's reply is that dungeons beyond minor dungeons have opportunities to use all sorts of Skills, from Alchemy to Diplomacy to Weaving.  His basic impression is that you need to be using the Skills to do something dungeon-related, and you need to be helping to ultimately kill monsters nearby you in a relatively straightforward way; but it counts if you ride a horse to where you will kill monsters, or if you use an alchemy station to brew an explosive that somebody else throws at a monster.  Haroun isn't speaking for a known theory built by Earth-style-science, though; he's trying to interpolate an answer to Bella's question based on how he's heard dungeon-related things are usually done.

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"- it's important that the monsters be near you but supplying potions to adventurers still works?"

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"They've got to be dungeon-related potions, or that's the impression I get?  We're going past my direct knowledge here, but I'm not sure it'd work if, instead of explosives, you were brewing a dexterity booster that you gave to a smith who forged an awl that carved a rune on a piece of armor an adventurer used, even if you did all that fast enough."

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"Weird! Uh, the reason I started this line of questioning was having leveled up in horse, or whatever it's called - that would have taken longer if I were riding the horse somewhere other than a dungeon?"

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"Uh, I don't think we're near enough for the dungeon for that to have counted at all?  I would guess that your, uh, Haste spell or whatever, got you good enough at horse-riding for you to get Lv. 1 in the skill, in just the very normal way."

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"And there's no particular way I should be riding the horse, or trying to ride the horse, which will make the next level come faster? - do skillups slow down as the level numbers increase?"

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"Probably, but I don't know what it is!  I didn't think it would be worth slowing down and talking to the Skillbook merchants about that before we left.  Or I didn't think of it at all, to be honest.  And yeah, the earlier Skillups come faster - I'd expect you to get another level or two in horseback riding by the time we're at the dungeon, if you got the first one that fast.  You, uh, might or might not have special circumstances beyond your DEX boost - I'm not sure how things work for, uh, somebody like you."  Empty countryside or not, there's no reason for Haroun to get any more explicit than he has to; it's a bad habit to form.

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"Knowing how it usually works still tells me how to talk about it," she points out.

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"I don't actually remember how long it takes to get horse-riding Lv. 0-1, or the usual ratio of the time between that and 1-2 or 2-3, is the problem.  I was way too young at the time."

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"I suppose that figures since they're major transportation. Or, well, relatively self-directed major transportation, you can't get a license to drive a vehicle of the sort that hit me till you're sixteen."

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Haroun asks about Bella-hitting-vehicle-licenses.  Bella answers.

More horse-riding.  Occasional conversation.  Bella tries to write in her saddle, and finds that if she wants one hand to hold her book perfectly steady while her other hand writes, that works just like she imagines it working; Bella's fingers do what they are told.

Bella's horse-riding skill goes up one additional time, when they're about a third of the way there.

Eventually they arrive at a minor dungeon.  This minor dungeon has a very impressive name in some language that is not Lictic; Bella will hear this name as 'Ordinary Cave'.

There's a couple of bored-looking, heavily armored guards right outside the entrance.  Showing their respective permits gets a couple of raised eyebrows; it is not usually the course of wisdom for a non-combat-specialized person to be escorted by somebody with only a learner's provisional guild permit.  Still, their job is ultimately to prevent people from leaving with untaxed loot, not to forbid entry to suicidal idiots.

Haroun asks if there's any special things they ought to know about this dungeon.  (He probably should have asked at the Guild, but was too worried about whether Bella would get through the Guild process to think of it at the time.)  The guard counters by asking what Bella and Haroun plan on doing exactly.  Haroun says they plan to stay on the first floor only and collect enough loot to get Bella her non-provisional license.  The guard reminds Haroun that sticking around on the first floor for a long time and easily slaughtering monsters there is liable to get second-floor monsters coming up to say hi, which is the Dungeon's polite way of telling you to go lower, and that if this happens they need to either go to the second floor or get out.  This is especially likely to happen fast if Bella mocks the monsters she kills, says anything about the Dungeon being too easy, or otherwise shows off how much better she is than the current floor's challenge level.

Aside from that, the guard says that it's mainly plant-based monsters on the first floor - Walking Sticks, Ambush Bushes, Pineapple Surprises, and the like.  As with most dungeons on the first floor, the floor tends to slope down as you get closer to the boss room, and navigating upward will get you back out of the first floor without much problem.  Following the right-hand rule (keeping your right hand on the wall) will circumnavigate the whole first floor with no omissions, if you skip the boss room gates when you come to them.  First-floor bathrooms are in the safe area next to the boss room.

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Maybe Bella's perfect control over her movements will allow her to conceal any microexpressions of surprise that the DUNGEON ITSELF cares if you MOCK the MONSTERS.

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The guards don't notice a thing!  That could be because Bella controlled her expression successfully, or it could be because the guards are relying on Social Skills and Bella has Inviolable Mind; who knows.

Does Bella have any other questions before they enter?  She could always show a notebook-note to Haroun if she has a question where she's not sure whether it's safe to ask the guards.

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"Are we likely to run into other people in there?"

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The guard replies that the morning rush is already past.  None of those Adventurers were the kind to stick around on the first floor.  They may get some Adventurers passing them on the way back up, come the afternoon; or earlier if somebody gets unexpectedly wounded or hits on an unexpectedly large haul.

The other guard sternly notifies the two that they are not allowed to kill other Adventurers and loot them.  Relis isn't that kind of town.

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"That's good to hear, thanks."

In she goes. Unless immediately Surprised by a Pineapple, she does have a couple things she wants to say to Haroun only!

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You are in a dark cavern lit by patches of glowing moss on the walls.  The air here smells of fresh-cut plants, and ever so faintly of blood.

There are stairs behind you to the south.
There is a tunnel to the west.
There is a tunnel to the east.
There is a Haroun here.

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"The dungeon," she says to the Haroun who is here, "cares if people mock its dead monsters? - also it's very considerate of the dungeon to have bathrooms, games abstract the need for bathrooms away, are those installed or is the dungeon being considerate."

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"It has never in my life occurred to me that a dungeon would not have bathrooms.  I need to think about this a little so I can get a grasp on your perspective."

Haroun thinks.

"Uh, dungeons have - at least chicken-level instincts as appropriate to dungeons, or something?  They - do things that it would make sense for a dungeon to do, even though there's never been one known that would talk?  They don't set off 『Qualia』 but a lot of spells don't work well on or around dungeon cores so that's not very conclusive.  You can't talk to them, you can't conduct reasonable trades with them - it would revolutionize the entire world if a dungeon ever woke up far enough that you could, I don't know, offer it criminals in exchange for it crafting magic items, but that's never happened so far as I know - but they seem to understand tones of voices or something well enough to know when you're laughing about how easy its monsters are to slaughter.  They - follow instinctive rules, sort of, and one of those rules is that monsters stay on their floors unless the adventurers are breaking other rules.  Another of those rules is that they have bathrooms on every floor and the bathrooms are almost never trapped.  You can see how that rule makes sense, right?  People wouldn't go into a dungeon that didn't have bathrooms."

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"Don't get me wrong, I'm glad it has bathrooms. But it is weird."

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"Your 'Video Games' are weird!  They're based on an abstraction where nobody goes to the bathroom!"

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"When you read a novel does it mention the characters going to the bathroom if it isn't a plot point somehow?"

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"We aren't in a story!  This is real life!"

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"I know! But the games are fiction so I had no specific bathroom related expectations and would not have been more surprised if being in a dungeon suppressed one's metabolism or something!"

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"That sounds way more complicated than installing a couple of toilets, especially if you are a dungeon and can install pipes as easily as we breathe."

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"I don't know what things are easy for dungeons!" Sigh. "Is it necessary to literally put a hand on the wall -"

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"No, he just meant that the local maze topography has no islands and doesn't move around, which implies that if you did put your right hand on the wall and walk, you would eventually return to your starting room after traversing all intervening spaces."

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"Okay." She starts walking right.

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You enter a cavern lit by glowing moss.  As you enter, a pineapple shrieks in surprise and flings itself away, scurrying down a tunnel to your left.

There is a tunnel behind you.
There is a tunnel in front of you.
There is a tunnel on your left.
There is a Haroun here.

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"Are the - the pineapples - supposed to flee?"

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"At least until they get over their surprise, if they aren't defending their nest."  (Pineapple Surprise in Lictic is ambiguous between 'pineapples that surprise you' and 'pineapples that you surprise'.)

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"I see." She doesn't chase the pineapple and continues following the wall, sword ready.

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You enter a cavern lit by glowing moss.  As you enter, two upright sticks with pointed branches turn to wave their branches menacingly at you, then begin hopping forwards.

There is a tunnel behind you.
There is a wooden door to your left.
There is a Haroun here.

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Okay, time to chop off the menacing branches with her sword. Left one right one. If that doesn't make them... disintegrate into a pile of coins or whatever... then she will bisect their main sticks.

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Bella's sword flashes through the air much, much faster than the menacing sticks move.  It cuts off all the pointed branches without Bella feeling much in the way of tangible resistance.

No doubt if these sticks could scream, they would be shrieking in agony right now.  But it's okay, they don't have vocal cords to scream with and they definitely don't have 『Qualia』.

The sticks slowly hop around in a tiny circle and make as though to flee.

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"How dead do they have to get, do you know?"

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Haroun is honestly a bit unnerved by this.  Just because something doesn't set off 『fëa 』-detection may not prove it doesn't have feelings.  "I don't know but apparently deader than that.  Is it - important that you know this exactly, for some reason?"

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"No, I guess overkill is fine -" Slash slash.

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You attack the Walking Sticks with your sword!
d100 = 77, d100 = 81
You kill the sticks for massive damage!
d100 = 28, d100 = 65
Unfortunately, neither monster drops any sweet loot as they evaporate into faint smoke that dissipates in turn.  Such is often the sad, unremunerated fate of an adventurer.

To your left, there is the audible sound of a lock clicking open.

There is a tunnel behind you.
There is a wooden door to your left.
There is a Haroun here.

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"Did the door just - okay, no, yeah, that fits I guess." Right hand rule sends her through the door.

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The Haroun follows you obediently.

This small, rocky chamber contains a single wooden treasure chest set with metal bands.  The rather dull appearance of the metal bands seems reminiscent of tin, if even that.

As you walk through the door, a Strangling Vine drops down towards your neck and is instantly dispatched by a reflexive swing of your sword.  It dissipates into smoke, treasureless, a moment later.

There is a door behind you.
There is a tin treasure chest here.
There is a Haroun here.

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"Jesus okay gonna be more circumspect about going into new rooms I guess!" She looks around the room in case another one is lurking and then sees if the chest is easily opened.

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The chest opens readily and proves to contain -
d100 = 55
- a Copper Ring (5cp) and a Rusty Tin Dagger (10cp, -2 to hit, -5 to damage, destroyed on a successful strike).

There is a door behind you.
There is an empty tin treasure chest here.
There is a Haroun here.

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"Is the dagger worth anything? Looks a bit crap but perhaps you have merchants who will accept up to ninety nine of them in a batch and pay out in... weirdly large pearls or something." She picks up the ring. "This is at least not obviously disintegrating."

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"Uh, they're probably both worth something?  Dungeons almost never give out loot that's literally valueless in the local area."  Haroun thinks for a second about why this might be, trying to anticipate Bella's next question.  "Uh, they'd notice if Adventurers just left stuff where it dropped, maybe?  I don't know, that seems like it ought to be exploitable for shaping dungeon behavior, and dungeons tend to be pretty exploit-resistant.  Anyways, my guess is we can take that back up and trade it for somewhere between 10 and 20 copper before taxes."

Haroun swings off the pack he was wearing, which Haroun has no doubt been wearing this entire time, because the guards would surely have noticed and said something earlier if neither Haroun nor Bella had a visible pack.

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Bella has her backpack too! But if Haroun wants to carry stuff that's fine, she's already got a bunch of things she doesn't want to leave somewhere in this bag.

She keeps going through the dungeon, aiming to instakill plants, checking rooms before walking into them, collecting loot.

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Isabella Swan stalks through her new world mercilessly killing everything she comes across, casually looting the corpses and ransacking their homes.  By the way, does she show any mercy to the nest of tiny, cowering baby pineapples she finds a few rooms later after she's sliced up their parents?  (Haroun is looking a bit nauseated; he mutters something about lesser plant monsters definitely not having 『Qualia』 and then turns to stare in a different direction.)

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Bella spares scared baby pineapples. Might have skipped the parents too if she'd seen the nest in time. How much cash has she got.

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Rusty tin daggers, tin rings, copper rings, 28 copper coins, five cloth shoes for left feet, 4 Pineapple Cubes lightly coated in wax, Flammable Tinder, a Scroll of Sneezing (causes whoever reads it to sneeze one time; also, it's confirmed that Bella can understand the Language runes on scrolls), and a pair of solid tin glasses that would block out all non-peripheral vision of anybody wearing them.  Haroun's guess is that the whole haul is worth somewhere between 2 and 4 silver before taxes.  Bella is not feeling at all hungry, so they haven't been at this too long as yet.

Bella has gotten better at holding a sword in completely the wrong way and swinging it through monsters with no hope of resistance.  Also better at spotting vines that try to strangle her.  Has she been doing any other experiments?

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Yeah, apart from being vaguely anxiety-inducing and providing a visual on what a "scared baby pineapple" looks like this isn't actually that interesting so she's trying various sword grips and stances insofar as these don't compromise her desire not to be splintered or strangled or whatever it is the pineapples do, but mostly she's trying to collect loot efficiently. Ideally she'd be out of here before lunch.

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At some point Haroun tentatively suggests that Bella try Flashing monsters before killing them, if they move slow enough that Bella is sure she'll recover in time, in order to practice her Light Magic and mana capacity.

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"Oh, yeah, good idea. Are there any other cheap spells I could throw in the rotation?"

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"I guess you could try very tiny firebolts and aim to splash water in their eyes?  I have no idea if that counts or not, but it might be worth trying.  Actually, I have no idea if those spells even still operate if you go down to only a tenth of a mana..."  One of Haroun's professors is yelling at him inside his head.  "On second thought(*) I think I feel a bit nervous about trying to experiment with editing spells inside of a dungeon.  If you fainted from mana exhaustion or managed to hurt yourself, that would actually be quite bad, what with me not having a ?? bonus to my dexterity."

(*) Lit. on-recovering-from-a-stumble.

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"Good point. If I ever have to do another one of these we can figure that out in advance."

She starts saying "eval flash" at the slower categories of monsters - the ones with eyes, anyway - as they approach.

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It's hard to tell whether the spell becomes easier to cast, what with it being trivially easy to cast, but it's possible that Bella's post-flash exhaustion is dissipating more quickly?  And as Bella keeps on trying out new ways of mistreating an innocent sword, she will eventually find a stance that seems a little easier on her wrist.  A short time later it feels a lot easier on her wrist, and she feels inspired to slice up plants in a steadier way that uses a bit less energy.

In time Bella has murderhoboed her way to a pair of huge imposing gates of stone bound with tin.  Haroun identifies this as almost certainly the boss room, especially considering the restroom stalls nearby.  This probably means they've explored around half the floor.  They now have somewhere between 5 and 10 silver of loot before tax, which is not enough to get her a non-provisional adventuring license, and Haroun is even less sure about what it turns into after tax.

Does Bella daringly go into the Boss Room despite her previous plans, or continue murderhoboizing the remainder of the first floor?  Also, was her previous sparing of the baby pineapples a one-time thing, or has she made it a general policy when confronted with pineapple nests?

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She continues not to molest baby pineapples and after the first parental pineapples are diced she avoids the nesting adults too when she can get by them nonconfrontationally, though she does look behind her and Haroun occasionally in case pineapples grow up real fast and want to tell her that their name is Inigo Montoya, she killed their father, prepare to die, etc. She skips the boss room. She can probably come back to the boss room later if she decides that's a good idea.

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She still killed the parents of the first nest.  In time, new pineapple monsters will spawn there, without continuity of memory, uncaring of the orphaned children of their predecessors.  The baby pineapples in the nest will all slowly starve, until one of the baby pineapples in desperation begins to cannibalize the others, gaining the strength to begin roaming the first floor and grow into an anomalously strong Mutant Cannibal Pineapple Surprise, which will set upon some surprised novice adventurers.  They'll still kill it, but one of them will get lightly scratched on one arm.

In any case!  Haroun stops for a bathroom break before they move on.

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Bathroom break is probably a good idea and also she's inordinately curious about the, like, decor and supplies, of a dungeon bathroom. Does it have foaming handsoap? Are there stalls? Are there potted plants. Does it cheap out on the toilet paper.

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The Dungeon Washroom looks like a naturally occurring bathroom that grew out of stone.  There is a toilet seat of smooth rock, set above an abyssal tunnel with no visible bottom, a waterfall from nowhere running down the scented moss set into its sides.  Scattered, soft-edged sheets of tough lichen can be easily torn from the walls and used as toilet paper, once you figure out what they're there for.  Another endless waterfall pours from the ceiling to a small pond set into the stone.  A friendly Crystal Slime lurks nearby this pool, ready to lick your hands clean, and it wouldn't be picky about other body parts if applied there.

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She is kind of creeped out by the slime and prefers the waterfall for this purpose! She is kind of creeped out by the entire bathroom, though it does improve upon its absence. Out she comes, still slightly incredulous, to resume progress through the dungeon.

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They continue on their murderous adventure.

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Something deep within the dungeon takes note of how the adventurer who has been easily killing all its monsters has turned away from the boss room, signaling her intent to stay upon its first floor.  Under other circumstances she might have been given more of a grace period, but in this case, a certain additional factor is in play.

Some time after Bella and Haroun have left behind the antechamber to the boss room, the mighty tin-bound doors swing open, and a small pack of monsters move out with surprising speed and stealth.

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The floors have been sloping net-upward for a while now, as they continue to follow the right-hand rule.  They haven't re-reached the dungeon entrance yet when Haroun starts to feel slightly hungry.  He tentatively suggests stopping to eat a couple of the alternate-universe-snack-bar equivalents they brought with them, not sure what Bella's policy is here.  They don't have enough loot that Haroun is sure they can exit and get a full adventurer's license, and probably won't have that much loot by the time they get to the entrance again.

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"Yeah, snack sounds good. I might want to re-do this floor another time? I can do it without you, now that I've seen the place, get the rest of the cash."

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Haroun would be lying (to himself) if he claimed (to himself) that he didn't feel a little wounded by this.  He wasn't that much of a burden.  Hardly got attacked at all.  All Bella needed to do was keep constantly glancing in his direction to make sure nothing happened to him, on top of worrying about herself.

His brain searches for a rationalization, finds it.  The thing is, he's not sure the rationalization is wrong?  Bella hasn't run into any other Adventurers yet; they haven't had a chance to see how that kind of interaction plays out, whether she'll need Haroun to chime in to avoid knowledge deficits...

Haroun still doesn't say anything, as he takes a couple of ration bars out of his backpack.  He's seventeen, not twelve; he's learned to recognize the part of himself that tries to argue other people onto the exact path he's carefully optimized for them.  Bella may have her own reasons for wishing to be by herself for a bit.

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The two don't sit down to eat.  Sitting down inside a dungeon isn't the best of ideas if you're not in a Safe Zone.

But despite this elementary attempt at caution, neither of them are experienced Adventurers, nor have the relevant skills to hold their own against an intelligent monster.

A Mutant Chameleon Metallic Slime crawls across the ceiling, through the gaps in Haroun and Bella's gazes.  There's plenty of gaps; Bella has only learned to look up when she's entering a new room, not keep looking up on any sustained basis.

It waits until Bella is looking at the other side of the room, and then drops itself on Haroun, who lets out a single startled yelp.

By the time Bella is whirling around, ration bar dropped and sword in hand, the Mutant Chameleon Metallic Slime has turned the metallic color of a T-1000 and wrapped tentacles of itself around all of Haroun's midsection and limbs, moving with lightning speed comparable to Bella's.  It has also extruded a number of silvery blades against Haroun's face, but not pierced him.  The blades stay motionless, waiting.

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"- fuck."

It's holding awfully still. Also it is not the correct difficulty level for - probably even just the second floor - this is something weird - it's holding so still -

"What... do you want."

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Much more slowly than it moved before, the Mutant Chameleon Metallic Slime extends a tendril, which shapes itself into a pair of hands.  The hands move haltingly, lacking the lightning surety shown in the slime's earlier motions.

The hands make signs, and Bella understands.

<I have sent - these messengers - to conduct you safely - to this dungeon's last level - where I would - speak with you - the traveler - from a different world.>

Smaller Chameleon Slimes are showing themselves now, flowing into the room and turning bright visible colors instead of stealthy ones.

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"Please let go of my friend there. There are obviously lots of you and you are obviously very fast and you obviously already know too much."

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The blades silently retract themselves away from Haroun's face.  The tentacles binding his limbs loosen and fall away.

Haroun manages to take a few steps in Bella's direction.  He can't think of anything else he should do.

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"On whose behalf are you here?"

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<Humongous lizard of emptiness.>

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Humongous lizard of emptiness. A real reassuring name, that.

"Haroun, the slime gang wants me to go with them down to the bottom to talk to a humongous lizard of emptiness. Do you have useful cultural context on that by any chance."

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"I - I don't know.  A dragon?  A dragon associated with the 『Null』 element maybe?  That shouldn't be the boss of a dungeon like this!"

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<Not here.  Distant presence.  Spell must be cast - by dungeon core.  This form of speech - is inconvenient.  Come.  Your companion will be - unharmed - will be compensated fairly - for his fright.>

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"Do you want to bring him along or are you just going to dump him at the entrance with loot?"

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<He is not - from a higher world - his soul - would not withstand - my proximity - even by spell.  Come alone.>

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"Wow okay. Uh, Haroun, I'm gonna do what the slime gang wants, they have said they mean to compensate you for your fright, I will make some reasonable amount of attempt to meet up with you at the inn if that still makes sense after I have heard out the emptiness dragon thing but if this turns out to take more than a day or two maybe go to Cowcorn without me and I will meet you there if that still makes sense and otherwise I won't?"

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"I... obey..."  Haroun doesn't know what is happening.  He's never heard of anything like this happening to anyone.  All he can do is whatever the Summoned Hero says.

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<Companion compensated - with knowledge - training - in lost art.  He will exit dungeon - when you do.>

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Fortunately Haroun is already carrying all the loot and Bella is already carrying all of the artifacts from a higher world she wants to maintain personal control over. "- never mind they are going to train you in a lost art and you will exit the dungeon when I do apparently I'm really sorry about all this I hope the lost art is great." She is unsure how long the slimes are going to put up with this chatter and talking kind of fast.

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The slimes assemble by the entrance to the room that they entered from.  Waiting.

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She steps slimesward.

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The journey that follows is shorter than it should be.  Unexceptional sections of wall part, revealing unlighted tunnels behind; a couple of the Slimes begin glowing to light it for Bella's convenience.  The mighty doors of the first floor boss room open, and the enormous tree revealed there stays silent and quivering as the Slimes escort Bella past it.  Not to the sealed door that lies beyond the great tree, but to a section of wall nearby that also slides aside, revealing unlighted stairs.

So it goes for a time.  Hidden tunnels, normal rooms with monsters that freeze up and quiver as Bella passes, hidden staircases in or near boss rooms.  Some stairs descend further than others, going two or three floors down at a time.  Now and then Bella hears distant voices; Adventurers talking among themselves.  She could, if she wished, raise her voices and call out to them; perhaps the Adventurers on lower levels would be strong enough to defeat her escorts.  Haroun is still up there, of course.  Does she call out?

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No, she's not going to drag third parties into this. So far nobody's been hurt and it doesn't seem like it'll stay that way if she starts yelling 'hey, professional slaughterer of pineapple babies and suchlike, please involve yourself'.

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In time a dark passageway terminates before great stone doors bound in gold.  The doors aren't very impressive for a Final Boss fight by the standards of larger dungeons, but Bella is unlikely to have personally been inside any dungeons with doors more impressive than that.

The doors open, and the Slimes escort her in, revealing a great dark chamber.  A lone torch lights at the center of the room, as she enters, revealing a raised black marble plinth at the room's center.  The plinth is empty.  In the lone torch's light it is barely possible for Bella's dark-adjusted eyes to see that there are smaller golden doors at the other side of the room.

The Mutant Chameleon Metallic Slime slurps its way onto the raised plinth, resuming its place as the Final Boss of the dungeon.  It then stands there, motionless and quivering; and slowly turns translucent, revealing a brighter core inside itself.

It raises a tentacle and reforms it into hands, one final time.

<You must slay - the final boss - for the final doors to open.  There is no other way.  Cleave the slime's core.  It will revive in time.>

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"...hell. Okay, I'll..." She doesn't want to level up in swords, and if she's going to slash through a boss monster she might as well get the XP counting toward something else in addition. "Eval Flash," she mutters, and then she gives it a slice.

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The sword cuts through the slime's core as easily as the sword has cut everything else.  The Mutant Chameleon Metallic Slime falls apart silently into goo, and dissipates into smoke, leaving behind a shimmering cloak.

Bella feels stronger, in some way that's hard to pin down.  The fatigue from casting Flash has faded more quickly than before; she's sure of that now.  Her sword rests steadier in her hand, in her improvised stance.

The golden doors at the back of the room swing open.

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So is she supposed to - take the cloak? - yeah, the boss monsters' respawn mechanics can't reasonably depend on adventurers not taking everything not nailed down. She takes the cloak. She goes through the doors.

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You are in a chamber of white marble, well-lighted by the soft glow of the walls.  In the room's center, a stand of glowing marble rises from the floor.  On it is a single key of crystal, one key and only one key.  To your front and left is a barrier of transparent crystal, behind which lies a lesser chamber of treasures: you can clearly see a small scattered heap of gold coins, daggers and gauntlets not made of tin, rings with glowing gems.  To your front and right is another barrier of transparent crystal, beyond which lies a small stone room empty but for a hovering one-meter-diameter orb, glowing with an inner red light and surrounded by orbiting ribbons of tiny runes like a planet's rings.  Both barriers of crystal bear openings into which the key on the stand might fit.

There is one crystal key on a marble stand here.
There is a locked crystal barrier to your left.
There is a locked crystal barrier to your right.

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Keys are reusFUCK keys might not be reusable in Stupid RPG World. Okay. Neither of these things are a void dragon. The cool planety thing is cooler. She has no idea what its resale value might be or what she could possibly do with it besides get a closer look, though. Like, it seems like it might be dumb to touch it. It... might also be dumb to touch the treasure? Maybe it's fake trap treasure? Where is the void dragon. Oh hey maybe the orb is the dungeon core. She takes the key to go visit the orb.

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The key and the crystal barrier both melt away, allowing Bella to step into the stony room.

As she enters she can feel a tangible sense of power in the air, a crushing force bearing down, laced with a sense of compulsion.  It centers not on Bella (for that indeed would be futile) but on the dominated dungeon orb.  Glowing letters are forced to spin out from it, forming and empowering a dome around Bella.  She can read the runes that light up in the air, but the expressions they form are too alien to comprehend; she can only pick up a vague sense from the entire construct.

Space
Boundary
Symmetric
Light
Sound
Thought

- form a spatial boundary which will symmetrically pass vision, sound, and thought -

There is a great flash that Bella can feel, and when it subsides, Bella is apparently elsewhere but for a faint soap-bubble of slight distortion that surrounds her, saving only a ring of the original stony floor about Bella's feet.

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If you ignore the soap bubble of distortion and trust what your eyes are telling you, you are standing in the middle of a skyscraper-sized chamber of black stone, facing a city-block-sized silhouette of a Dragon.  The Dragon's silhouette is pure darkness, vantablack, fuligin, the unremediated absence of vision.  This silhouette of pure darkness, as near as you can make out, shows the shape of a Dragon coiled and its head rearing to face you.  The Dragon's silhouette rests on a heap larger than itself, a heap of gold things, platinum things, things of red metal and white metal and pure radiance.  In the parts closest to you, you can make out the tiny shapes of armors and arms, greatswords and helmets, set with many jewels and runes of 『Language』.

There is a silhouette of a Dragon 'here'.
There is an awful lot of treasure 'here'.

The silhouette of a Dragon's head opens its mouth, and speaks.

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Greetings, traveler, soul of a higher world. I am the Void Dragon, Skagganauk, the Final Boss of the Final Floor of the Dungeon whose foundations were laid with the making of the World. The thousandth part of my hoard is the wealth of empires. Beyond me lies the treasure chamber that was never opened since the making of the World, within which there is the treasure chest that is of purest Philosopher's Stone, and the Key that chest contains. Victorious Heroes and Demon Lords that slip the lesser bonds of mortality come to me when nothing else remains in the World to interest them, and fight me for what I guard. Yet my hoard remains unplundered, and the chamber beyond me holds its treasure still. You interest me, traveler, for I cannot read your thoughts, nor your destiny. Perhaps a change is nigh. What are your designs upon this World?

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"I'm still getting - oriented? I should have a more concrete answer in a week or two. Uh, I favor the general flourishing of all sapient beings." She fumbles for her notebook, flips to a page, starts jotting down key phrases as they go by.

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A huge laughter, larger than the chamber in which it echoes.

Fair!  Fair indeed!  But give this being of a lesser world some hint as to how you aim to achieve that flourishing.  In the dance that is to come, will you be follow or be you lead?  Do you intend to take the part of the Hero, or of the Demon Lord?
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"- wait, what? That wasn't presented as an option I had!"

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Ha!  The overseer of this world grows sentimental, I perceive.  Short-sightedly protective of the beings under his care.  But destiny is not denied so easily.  Indeed, you have that choice, if your sight be longer than his.

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"Then wouldn't the hero and the demon lord be in symmetrical positions? Why would there consistently be one of each?"

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Destiny, I suppose, the workings of some higher and cosmic mechanism which even this World's overseer cannot oppose, nor twist despite his best efforts.  Though it would be an interesting eventuality indeed, if your own opacity threw off that balance.  There has never been a time since the beginning when two Heroes came, or two Demon Lords, and found nothing to fight over between them.  Were I in your position I might choose to mirror the other, simply to explore the new avenues of fate that would be uncovered thereby.

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"Have you seen signs of them?"

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Of course.  I shall share a small confidence in you, and inform you that I am not all-seeing.  Even the gods do not know all things.  But the Council of the High Elves has already located the both of you, and I have been known to listen unheard to their deliberations.  I shall not share with you your counterpart's location, but he has already purchased a lionkin female to be his warrior and slave, and he has not removed her collar despite all their apparent affections.  This is a course of action more commonly associated with Heroes than with Demon Lords, though nothing is certain as yet.

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Bella resists the urge to facepalm, though she's thinking it pretty hard. "Thank you. Does he know anything about me yet?"

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That I have not bothered to discover.  He does not interest me as you do.  Though I wonder now whether that one has not learned, as yet, that he has the option of becoming the Demon Lord?  Ha!  The dance grows slightly more amusing in this turn.  But it has carried for eon and on, and to see a different dance would delight me more by far.

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"I don't care for the sound of the conventional aftermath so hopefully I'll be able to manage that."

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The Hero is defined by their choice to preserve.  The Demon Lord, by their choice to begin again.  If you would see the World be mostly similar to its present state a century hence, you are the Hero.

I have always considered it a short-sighted choice, to be honest.  Few indeed of this world are immortal; the rest are fated to die, perhaps in this year, perhaps in another, but die they will.  Then is there any ǫuestion at all, except for how the World may appear a millennium later, an eon later?  Whatever this World is seeking, that the dance begins again indicates that the World is settling into stability and stasis without having found that thing.  If the present order is disrupted only a little, it will settle back in a handful of decades.  So another Demon Lord will come, and another, until the World can begin more truly from scratch.

What answer may thereby be sought, I cannot guess.  But I doubt that on this occasion the World has almost found its answer, and needs to be perturbed only a little; the present state of the world seems not especially novel to me.  the more times that the Hero is victorious over the Demon Lord, in boring times like these, the more time must pass until that answer be found.

I wonder then - are you more farsighted than others of your world?  More given to pursuing a long-term good, even if those around you do not understand?  Or perhaps simply more opposed to the World-As-It-Is than your counterpart, so that the thought of finding a final answer much like its present state seems unacceptable to you?  I wonder, have you seen anything yet, that makes you wish to re-roll the dice and see if they show a different face on the next try?

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"Well, not with craters. I'm not thrilled about the craters. Even if people are mortal to begin with I don't think blowing them up tends to improve them.

How do onlookers distinguish a demon lord from a summoned hero? I had been envisioning demons being a species. That looked like something in particular. But..."

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Cursed armors, dark rituals, bitter potions; all these have been known to set apart the Demon Lords and their subordinates from the appearance of the others of your kind.  But these are questions you could equally ask your small friend, and our time here is expensive, even for me.  And I have no interest in helping you win an ordinary victory over the Hero, still less if you take the part of Hero and contest with a Demon Lord.  I would tell you whatever you must know to disrupt the dance itself, or find this World's answer.  If I but knew what you must know!  It is possible that I know the answer.  But I do not know the question.

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"What," says Bella, "does it mean to say that time in a place is expensive."

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I am expending a significant portion of my power to do this.  I am not a dungeon core, nor a god, only the greatest of monsters.  For my will to contest with a dungeon core and force it to maintain this spell is not easy, even for me.

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"I will try to be quick but I don't actually know what questions my friend or a book can answer versus what I should ask you in particular. Demon Lords have won before, right, what makes things settle back on the typical track from there? Do you know if everybody's summoned from the same higher world? Do you know what powers we get, are they all the same?"

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If there is any force that forces this World back onto a single track, it is hidden from me; such a thing indeed seems contrary to the cosmic working by which the Demon Lord and the Hero come to perturb its stability.  I think it is simply that a World operating under Laws like this World's Laws, tends by accident and default to go down a certain path.  Spells and enchantments, skills and dungeons; these give rise to kingdoms and kings, academies and adventurers.  Slave collars can be invented and they are useful, and so invented they often are.  The answer this World seeks must be something unnatural to it, surprising given its laws; else it would have been found by now.

Some travelers have come from similar worlds.  I doubt that any two were ever truly the same.  Their true powers are never the same in one dance, and yours is the first truly opaque soul I have yet seen.  Other aspects of power are more common, but I shall not bother to tell you of them, for it seems unlikely to me that the key to change is hidden there.

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"But there's - hm - don't know how to succinctly - okay never mind. Uh, I think my world has in a sense fewer things, not more, and the things that here doesn't have are - social technology? Maybe from being cratered every few centuries? That seems difficult to - sorry, this is a lot to process. Is there a way for you to... send and receive mail, or something. Drop a message sealed in a bottle written in a dead language in your dungeon as loot and once I have cash I can put up a bounty for bottled messages, something like that."

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My power is not unlimited.  But I shall look in on you from time to time, and if you speak my name in true darkness it is not impossible that I will hear.  And whatever message makes its way to you in return, if it is signed by my name Skagganauk and written in this language that only I now remember, you shall know it to come from me.

Runes of darkness burn now before Bella's vision, fine and sweeping and curved, with many dots and curlicues:  Skagganauk they say, in writing that could not be mistaken for any other writing she has seen.

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"Okay thanks. Uh. Besides supervising the occasional conflicts what are your sources of information about what the - dance - is driving at and how it works?"

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All I can observe is when the Demon Lord and Hero come.  They come when the borders of countries are stable, when tribes and cultures are stable, when the same groups go on fighting with each other.  When few great discoveries are still being made in the academies, and those discoveries that are lauded are of little account in changing kingdoms.  When laws and customs and artifacts have channeled the course of behavior into few permitted paths, and the rulers of the underworld have tightly controlled illegality.  When ways of living grow into a stable form, above all, whatever the games of thrones.  When the world's rough form freezes into place, then it is ended, even though living beings go on changing and never is the same soul twice brought into being.

Whatever answer would satisfy that unknown question, it has not been found in any of the forms that have ended.  Every stable form I have witnessed seems to have proven equally unsatisfactory to the World or the mechanisms above it.  There was never a civilization allowed to last for an eon before it fell.  If the Hero wins too many times in sequence, the Demon Lords grow stronger.

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"- how do they grow stronger if the roles aren't even settled in advance - or does making them both more powerful just tend to be destabilizing for the background -

- it would be kinda stupid if all the place needed was an industrial revolution -"

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If there is always one Hero and one Demon Lord, it is not hard to guess that the process which brings them hither must have foretold which is to be which, however free the choice may seem to the choosers.

And you are not the first traveler from a world that knew industry.  In ages past I have urged travelers to try to import the knowledge of their homeworlds, hoping that it would prove to be the difference sought.  I have grown less hopeful over the eons.  I think the answer this World seeks must be unknown to the higher worlds as well.  It is unknown to the maker of this place, and that is why this place was made; so I now suspect.

Time grows short.  I bid you ask a last question if you have any.  Then I shall tell you of your compensation, and bid you fare well.

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"Is -

Do I have any guarantee of your accuracy in your statements as you've made them?"

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Titanic laughter, almost but not quite loud enough to hurt Bella's ears.

No.

Now hear of your compensation.  I cannot easily give you of the wealth of this place, for it would provoke questions from its guardians.  Even the Chameleon cloak would provoke questions, if you are not wise enough to wear it about your shoulders in the guise of an ordinary cloak of worn cloth when you depart.

But when your path takes you to Cowcorn, you shall come to a bridge of red wood, over a little creek.  Turn then from your path, leftward, and ride your horse along the creek a short while, until you come to a fallen tree, shattered by lightning.  Abuse your sword to dig up the ground a pace distant from the creek, where it swings closest to that tree stump.  Before long you shall uncover a guildplate of imperishable orichalcum, that survived for eon and on since the last time an Adventurer's Guild arose much like the current one, and forged guildplates the same shape as the current one, with the same metal chosen for its peak.  Though the bones of that adventurer are dust and more than dust, though all her armor and weapons were looted and then destroyed, and none but I now remember her name, that orichalcum guildplate has lasted through the ages.  Return the plate to the Adventurer's Guild of Cowcorn.  They shall be puzzled by the strange shape of the guildplate, and how it came to be worn smooth, but they will pay you the standard reward all the same.  That is not enough wealth to advantage you over your counterpart, but it will save you some inconvenience, I think.  It will give you enough wealth to bide a time and seek answers.

And remember this:  All of this has happened before, even to the guildplates of a guild.  With enough time, all time becomes nothing but sad echoes.  From almost this exact starting point, the victory of the Hero has happened many times before.  The victory of the Demon Lord has happened many times before.  Only your opacity has not happened before.  If even the cosmic mechanisms are confused by that, there may be a chance, one chance out of eons.  But you must seize that chance.  If all you seek is victory over a Demon Lord, it will be lost.

And remember also this:  Only things that last can make a lasting difference, as an orichalcum guildplate survives when flesh turns to dust.  The greatest consequences are always the longest ones.   Do not lose sight of that, even for flesh not to dust yet turned.

With those final words, the faint soap bubble around Bella becomes more distorted, and pops, leaving her in the room with the dungeon core.  But the dark will still bends there, and a shimmering surrounds Bella once again.

When the shimmering fades, she is standing in the entrance to the dungeon, on the first floor.
 

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You are in a dark cavern lit by patches of glowing moss on the walls.  The air here smells of fresh-cut plants, and ever so faintly of blood.

There are stairs behind you to the south.
There is a tunnel to the west.
There is a tunnel to the east.
There is a Haroun here, staggering out of the tunnel to the west and looking rather tired and disheveled.

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"Are you okay?"

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"Tired.  Not hurt.  I just got trained in a really weird martial-art Skill by slimes.  What happened to you?"

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"Talked to the void dragon about, uh, metaphysics. Got a location of buried treasure. In Cowcorn so we still have to get there. Also I have this cloak but it's probably suspicious."

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Translation as best Haroun can guess:  It's complicated and I don't want to try to explain right now.

"I got a couple of item drops while beating up slimes.  Can we go up and see if we have enough loot for your guildplate?  In all naked honesty, I don't feel like continuing to dungeoncrawl right now."

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"I am super with you on that. Lemme see if this gets less conspicuous." How about she wills the cloak to be something thin and plain and locally plausible that she could have put on once getting out of the sunlight.

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Whoopsie.  If this cloak has a mindreading function, it can't read Bella's thoughts the way she's doing it now.

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"This is ostensibly a chameleon cloak, do you know how those work."

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"Not... off the top of my memory."

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"Can you see if you can make it pass casual inspection as something you could've had in your bag to begin with?" She holds it out.

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When Haroun arranges the cloak over his own shoulders, not draping it all the way around himself and keeping the hood drawn back, the cloak shifts to look like an ordinary-clothing cloak that perfectly matches the wear and style of the rest of his outfit.  He didn't send any mental commands for that, it just happened.

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"Neato. Let's get out of here."

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The two head back up the stairs.

It's not really their job to do assessments, but the guards aren't busy so they're willing to take a casual assessment about the massive quantity of low-quality drops.  Not counting Haroun's latest couple of drops, it's about 14 silver, they think.  Haroun's drops from slime-fighting bring up the total to 31 silver.  That's enough successful looting for Bella to get an E-rank tin guildplate once she gets back to town, and will net them 13 silver or so after tax.

One guard is writing down everything they brought out on a standard paper form.  The other guard says she needs to take a look in Bella's and Haroun's packs, and pat them down using the Frisking Skill, to check for any extra loot they're trying to sneak out.  Either of the two can ask for a guard of a different gender to perform the frisking, if they so prefer.

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The friggin' VOID DRAGON already knows who she is so she isn't going to put up a fight about them peeking at her textbooks and such. She will talk fast if she has to. Yes she'd prefer a female guard.

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The female guard gives a puzzled scrutiny to some of the objects in Bella's backpack, but none of them look like standard loot from this dungeon, so she lets it all pass.

Soon the two have picked up their horses from the corral nearby, and are riding back on their way to Relis.  Haroun is already tearing into more of the rations he brought with him.

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Talking to the FRIGGIN' VOID DRAGON has harmed Bella's appetite but probably riding to town'll fix it. "Weird martial art skill?" she wonders after a few minutes.

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Haroun pauses to chew and swallow so he can talk.  "There was one slime that drew out letters in slime on one corner of the floor, but they used big letters and there wasn't room to say much.  Just that it was a martial art developed by people who saw unity in all things and wished to leave a path.  I can level the Skill just by doing the exercises I was shown.  When I level I'll figure out more exercises.  Supposedly I'll get other capabilities just from leveling the martial arts part.  It didn't write anything else.  Did the void dragon seem impressive enough that I should actually bother?"

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"The void dragon was impressive as fuck - uh, he wasn't boss of this dungeon, the slime that grabbed you was, the dragon was remotely controlling this dungeon to talk to me. I don't know if that implies your martial art will be especially great, though it does sound kind of cool."

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"That sounds like somebody is trying to fool you.  You can't control dungeon cores, remotely or otherwise.  People have been trying since forever to Tame dungeon cores, get them to reproduce in a controlled way so they can be domesticated, bind them to human controllers, get human souls reincarnated into them, all kinds of crazy things.  One controllable dungeon core would upend the entire world economy."

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"Well, it wasn't a human controller, it was a void dragon, and he didn't want to keep doing it too long. But I will ask if he's considered that mechanism of getting what he wants, I guess."

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"I remain highly skeptical.  Consider that a warning from a native guide.  So what did this purported void dragon have to say, and why was it talking to you?  - Uh, I'll understand if you want to write things down in your notebook before you try to talk to me."

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"I took some notes but I should fill them in before I forget stuff, yeah."

She does this.

When she's done she taps her pen on the notebook a few times. "Hey Haroun? What would you do if you were a summoned hero type thing to - somewhere, not here or somewhere very like here, to retain the fidelity of the analogy, but if a broadly comparable thing happened to you."

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"It'd depend on the situation?  I have absolutely no idea what I'd do if I got summoned into your world, based only on what you've said so far."

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"I think too many things about my world would have to be different for it to make sense for it to have a summoned hero-ish situation. Uh, suppose you got kicked in the head by a horse and the next thing you knew you were talking to a disembodied voice and it says it's putting you on Planet and you're supposed to save it. And then you are in a pine forest full of enormous pink fungus and the air smells weird and if you get too far away from the nearest tree it's kind of hard to breathe and you find a road and get picked up by a person who says they're a professional "terraformer" in a horseless carriage that goes fifty miles an hour, with a mask on to deal with the air, and who says they can take you to their capital, Gaia's Landing, which is very safe and defended by tame hivemind worms controlled by psychics but you'll have to be quick because this area is sometimes visited by terrorists from the religious fanatics next door. This is in case I'm not being clear cribbed from a game of a genre I actually like so as to give you an idea how out of your depth you get to start if you are a summoned hero."

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"Yeah.  Some of that was a little hard for me to digest, but I'm guessing that's part of the point."

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"Exactly. Anyway, you get to Gaia's Landing and the money is made of the symbolic guarantee of the ability to heat certain amounts of water and everybody eats various flavors of algae three meals a day and their immortal leader Lady Diedre Skye says the fungus is a person or possibly part of a person and there's a war on three fronts and alien artifacts all over the place and you have some abilities nobody around you has, plus the whole disembodied voice situation, and you're supposed to save Planet. That being the name of the planet. How do you even figure out what to do?"

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"Find the biggest university I can and read lots and lots and lots of books."

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"Cool, the biggest university is Academy Park and the Gaians are at war with them and the books are all on light-up screens but you can probably do that if you try, you can learn all kinds of stuff. War's still ongoing. Also the fungus seems angry. Keeps suddenly growing real fast and destroying stuff."

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"If there's already something I can do about the fungus, I'd probably do that right away?  But if I can't turn it into a giant crater yet, I'd have to focus on getting stronger first."

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"The locals know how to remove the fungus. It's slow and expensive and they're tying up most of their resources in the war but they can do it. Seems to make the remaining fungus angrier. By the way, the tame worm hivemind things are pretty nasty, they like to paralyze their opponents with nightmarish visions and then burrow into their skulls. The Gaians plant the fungus sometimes."

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"Sounds like a confusing situation, yeah.  Hit up the libraries.  Pick one person who seems very knowledgeable and try trusting them.  Try a small-scale intervention to see what happens before I make any big craters."

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"Mm-hm. Anyway, uh, the void dragon asked if I wanted to be a summoned hero or a demon lord."

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"I wasn't aware that was an option."

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"That's what I said! I'd been assuming that demons were, like, a species, that spawned a Lord every now and then, but apparently there are just two summoned folks. How would you distinguish two summoned folks duking it out over the fate of Elhom IV with superpowers if they both just looked like people?"

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"Well, I mean, in the end, if one wins and the other loses, I suppose you could tell who the winner was, by seeing whether a lot of people die on one continent or almost everybody dies everywhere?  But I've never heard of there being an ambiguity like that.  So far as I can tell from history, on the last two occasions that we have lots of surviving records for, people knew who the Summoned Hero was, once they declared themselves.  This void dragon is sounding less credible by the minute.  - Though, yeah, it's not that there's a species of demons, it's just that 'Demon Lord' is the title of the leader of the faction that tries to kill everyone, and any particular species like Drow Elves that mostly go along with it tend to be called demon-aligned by people who aren't demonic."  A note of uneasiness plucks at Haroun, and his conscience compels him to say it.  "Uh, the fact that the Demon Lord is able to fight nose-to-nose with the Summoned Hero could suggest that the Demon Lord was also from a higher world, though I don't think I've heard - anybody point that out - and it's not impossible that facts got concealed for some unknown reason - look, wouldn't God have told you if that was true?  Seriously, this is just not very credible especially when you add to it the claim to be able to control dungeon cores!"

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"God was in a hurry and kind of generally sketchy. In fairness I did ask the void dragon if there was any reason to believe he was telling me the truth and he said no so I'm certainly considering the possibility that some or all of it was a fabrication. It did seem - illuminating? And he didn't hurt us and he could have. But a fabrication could also seem illuminating and he could have other reasons not to hurt us besides just wanting me to go forth better-informed, I know."

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"I mean, the obvious reason is for the Demon Lord's spies to try persuading the Summoned Hero that she's actually the Demon Lord, and see how much trouble they can get her into."  Haroun smiles without being able to help himself, despite the larger situation not being funny at all.

What Haroun wants to do is demand that Bella reassure him that of course she wouldn't side with the Demon Lord, even if that was an option for her.  What he needs to do... is think out from scratch whether that would be likely, given what he's seen of her so far.  If he just asked, she'd know what he wanted to hear.

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"I don't have any incentive to declare myself the demon lord unless I'm surrounded by people who have for some reason decided they're loyal to the demon lord, in which case it's really interesting to know that they might believe me if I said I was the demon lord. My takeaway here is that these might not be actual things. If demons aren't a species, then it might just be a matter of, for instance, who tells the demon-y people they're the demon lord first."

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"And if nobody says they're the Demon Lord, a couple of foreigners live happily ever after in our world?  Because that absolutely sounds like an outcome we should be trying for, if there's any way we can possibly try to..."  Haroun trails off.  This is admittedly a terrifically good explanation for why you shouldn't tell the foreigners that they have the option of being a Demon Lord.

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"Maybe? Anyway, the void dragon wants or claims to want things to go differently than before and claims that there have been an absolute shit ton of Hero/Demon matchups and if the hero wins too many times in a row the demons start getting stronger till one wins and everything sooner or later gets back on track till the world looks kind of like this as a natural consequence of your dungeon based economic and ecological situation. We did not resolve the question of how exactly the demons start getting stronger when being one is optional, he said, uh, this is a paraphrase, something like 'if there's always one of each, probably the process that brings them in can foretell which is which even if it seems to them they have a free choice'."

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"Who the goatmanure is this void dragon supposed to be?  If they'd pretended to be a High Elf, it might at least be credible coming from one of those."

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"What, you want his name? He said he was called Skagganauk."

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"Never heard of him."

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"Well, he was a fuckoff huge absence-of-vision in a dragony shape and he had a lot of treasure and he told me he was the final boss of the final floor of the dungeon of - I wasn't actively taking notes yet, the dungeon that was created with the world or something like that."

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(Bella sees Haroun's face go slightly slack and slightly frozen in the same position it was previously occupying.)

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"Is that more recognizable as a claim on the void dragon's part than is 'void dragon' or 'Skagganauk' somehow?"

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"If I wasn't hanging around with you I'd immediately say the person I was talking to was insane.  There's a couple of old-old dungeons on the north and south poles of the planet - uh, I don't know if that term would come across, I mean that if you drew a line through the rotational axis of the planet, both of those dungeons would be where the line intercepted the planet's surface.  A couple of orichalcum-plate teams tried both dungeons, never came out again, people pretty much leave them alone.  Which is sort of anomalous because dungeons collapse if nobody goes into them for long enough?  I just figure there's some underground race that delves both places.  Anyway there's a theory, which before today I would have said was not very credible, that those are two different entrances to the same dungeon and they both go down to the world's center.  Well, I guess that's at least a credible monster to know things and be able to do things, assuming you believe in the monster in the first place, which on the one hand might well talk to you if it talked to anyone, but on the other hand... I guess mental illusions wouldn't work on you, would they.  On the other hand, purely 『photon』 and 『vibration』 illusions."

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"I don't think it would be fair to assume someone reporting that they were told by a third party that the third party was anything whatsoever must be crazy, even if they aren't me! Anyway, the compulsiony feel from the dungeon core didn't appear to rely on light or sound."

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"That's fair, I'm - possibly not thinking completely clearly right now.  Some of these ideas are a little upsetting, and I am, unfairly, considering you having just come to a really strange new world which was the point of everything you told me, I am unfairly upset about the fact that you seem to be taking them seriously and, you know, this means a bunch of people might die, from my standpoint, but I realize you have to take the claims seriously anyways which I suppose is what makes it work as a trap and thank you for not just saying nothing to me I do appreciate it even if I don't sound like it -"  Haroun stops for a breath.  "What do you mean, the compulsiony feel didn't rely on light or sound?"

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"Uh, I went up to what I assume was the dungeon core and it felt... compelled? I myself was not compelled. I can't totally rule out that there is some kind of creepy infrasound which on top of context cues would make me feel this way but it didn't register as a noise and the things I was seeing were 'cool-looking probable-core' and then the compulsion appeared to make the core do some magic that made a portal dome thing around me so the dragon and I could converse."

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"...somebody threw some compulsion magic into the room, focused on a goblin or whatever, while casting the illusion of a dungeon core being nearby?  I - I guess the big question is who has an incentive to lie about all this, in order to trick you into joining the Demon Lord, who wouldn't just kill the Summoned Hero if they had that much capability for setting up a trap while she was still weak."  Haroun swallows.  The truth here isn't something he finds particularly palatable, but it's also obvious.  "I think you may need to be talking to somebody older and more experienced than me.  I'm sorry.  Please don't decide to kill everybody."

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"I don't want to kill anybody, Haroun."

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Healhealhealhealheal
Resurrectresurrectresurrectresurrectresurrect

His mind might just be selectively recalling memories that confirm what he wants to believe.  Or Bella could have just been trying to revive a couple of potential allies to help her fight, not acting out of compassion.

"I believe you," Haroun says anyways.  He isn't lying so much as finishing the words early.

...Bella also dove into that fight into the first place, didn't she?  She told him what the 'void dragon' said.

Haroun can recognize when his mind is trying to argue itself into something.  There's a Skill for recognizing it, which Haroun has at Lv. 3.

He knows the remedy as well.  He needs to review everything he remembers Bella saying or doing.  Not just the good parts.

Pending that full review, is there anything that makes Bella be an obvious Demon Lord, if he phrases the mental question that way?

The mental question doesn't come back with an obvious answer.  Which doesn't prove much.  Haroun knows he didn't want a positive answer to that question.

"Do you have - other questions?" Haroun says.  "I would like to think."

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"Whereabouts do lionkin mostly live?"

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"I think they most prefer relatively warmer temperatures, so a little south of here to a long ways north of here?  I don't have the locations of any major settlements memorized."  Haroun doesn't ask why.  She can tell him if it's important and he has a lot of other things to think about.

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"Okay. Go ahead and think." She scribbles in the notebook, attempting to steer her horse with her knees.

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A thought occurs to Haroun before he's had a very long time to think.  He double-checks the thought, making sure it makes sense, but he's pretty sure it does.

"I'll still die to protect you if it comes to that, obviously," Haroun says.  "You can't let somebody get away with being able to drive a wedge between the Summoned Hero and her companions just by saying a bunch of nonsense to her right after she arrives."

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"Uh. Thank you. Hopefully this will never come up since I do not want you to be dead but I guess it will simplify hopefully-edge-case tactical planning to have this noted in advance."

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He feels oddly touched.  He's not sure why.  It seems very predictable for a Bella-like thing to say, in retrospect, and he's touched anyways.  "Thank you."

Haroun rides on, and thinks.  Bandits town guild inn breakfast guild dungeon.  Trying to recall all the events in order is making him understand the appeal of Bella's notebooks.  Also his mind keeps complaining that it doesn't want to do this and trying to run away and leave everything to somebody much older and more experienced.

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Bella lets him think. She has plenty to think about herself - sorting out the dragon's implicit and explicit claims, noting what she saw and didn't take notes on at the time before it fades any farther, processing some feelings about baby pineapples, and practicing currency conversion.

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She gets better at currency conversion.

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Oh good.

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Haroun is mostly silent for the ride to town.  In part that's because he's thinking, and in part that's because he realizes he's slightly tired from all the things and that he might be wiser to rest his mind staring at the grass rolling by, instead of trying to come to any deep decisions.

When he was growing up, life seemed simpler.  Why oh why couldn't it have stayed that way?

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Arriving at town gets them a perfunctory look-over by the town guards, who sign off on a chit the dungeon guards provided them, and copy down some codes into a ledger. They're then directed to the Guild, to turn in their harvest and collect their sharecropper's fee on the results.  The Guild's record of the harvest will later be compared with the ledger maintained by the dungeon guards, as somebody takes pains to mention.

After the kingdom's taxes, duchy's taxes, county's taxes, baronetcy's taxes, city taxes, and Guild taxes, Bella and Haroun receive 13 silver and 10 copper for their troubles; almost exactly what the guards estimated.

And Bella now qualifies to get a tin guildplate.

(There was a discussion while she was gone about whether Bella should be forced to take off her belt and scabbard and sword so they could have a better look at her Skill signature.  The Vice-Guildmaster pointed out that the main purpose of Skill fingerprinting is to prevent somebody from repeatedly getting kicked out and reregistering, and that a fingerprint as unique as Bella's serves this purpose just as nicely.)

The design of her tin guildplate, if Bella cares to inspect it, is simple enough that you could imagine the same guildplate being reinvented a hundred thousand years earlier.  The base design is a rectangle in the golden ratio, with clipped corners such that the clipped edges form 45-degree angles with the lines of the main rectangle, and the unclipped part of the short edge is the same length as the edges of the clipped corners.  There's runes on it that spell Bella in the local language, plus some smaller inscrutable runes that are admin codes rather than words.

There's a pamphlet Bella is supposed to read, around the complexity of the rules of the road for drivers in Washington, if the rules of the road put a lot of emphasis on not killing other drivers to steal their cars.  There are repeated injunctions that "But I was stronger than them and successfully beat them up!" is not a defense for refusing to obey the instructions of Guild administration personnel, who actually know all the much more complicated rules pertaining to particular contracts.  Your Guild plate will be revoked as a result, and your parents cannot overrule this revocation no matter who they are.

You need to produce a minimum amount of revenue for the Guild, per three months, to maintain E-rank privileges.  Most ways of doing this involve risking your life and other people collecting a majority of the resulting earnings.  But hey, at least you can now roam around the country without having a new layer of skin ripped off by travel fees every time you cross a local border; and officials will hesitate to do worse than annoy you, if you don't do anything that gives them a good excuse.

And then they're out of the building, and Bella is officially an E-rank Adventurer.

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"Subplot complete," she mutters to herself.

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Haroun seems content to let Bella decide which subquest to do next.  Either that or he's still mentally tired.

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She wants a late lunch / early dinner, and then to go back to their inn, and then she says, "Can I see the exercises the slimes taught you or do you need to crash for the day?"

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Haroun has recovered faster physically than mentally.  Their room at the inn is a little crowded for this, but he can do at least some of the exercises.  He takes off his shirt, which the slimes forcibly did to him and which could be important for all he knows.  And he goes through some of the exercises he was taught.

To Bella, the result looks vaguely like Tai Chi or Hollywood Kung Fu.

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She takes little notes, though she has to improvise how exactly to write down hollywood tai-fu or whatever this is. "Thanks." She tries them. She does not take off her shirt first.

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"My Skill is not nearly leveled enough to tell whether you're doing those right," says Haroun.  "If you were somebody else, I'd say for you to wait until I had enough levels myself to try teaching somebody else.  But I don't know, maybe you have special privileges."

Bella doesn't seem to be getting any better at whatever it is she's doing.

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"You need levels in something to teach it? I'm not even soliciting instruction per se, I'm just imitating -"

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"I mean - I think it's mostly a matter of knowing what you're doing, not of, I don't know, some direct interaction between numerical levels?  I imagine that you could teach me skills where you didn't get them by leveling at all, because you'd know enough to teach me.  And that I could teach things to somebody from your world, even if they were learning without Skillups.  But I'd have to know the thing.  And I don't know this thing.  I've just been led through some exercises enough to get Lv. 1 of a Skill, which means I have the Skill to keep doing those exercises.  It doesn't mean I've done them often enough and know how they work instead of, of just being able to, do them - so I can't tell by looking at you if you're doing them right.  You usually want at least a two-level difference before you try to teach somebody at all and a four-level difference is much better.  I'm sorry if I said that at too much length, I'm still feeling a bit beaten(*) when it comes to saying things better and shorter."

(*) Lit. kneaded-like-dough.

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"Bleh. Okay. You didn't seem super into it so I figured I could just copy off you and you could forget about it if you wanted."

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"Oh.  Um.  I'm guessing that martial arts in your world don't do - things-that-your-world-doesn't-have - and that means you can learn a martial art just by imitating what you see martial artists do?"  Honestly that still sounds a little implausible to him, but whatever.  "The slimes made me do things exactly right until I got Lv. 1 of the Skill and I can definitely feel that there's, uh, something going on, though it's very faint."

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"Uh, I think if you're doing it seriously you have a teacher correct your form, not that I've ever tried a martial art because of the balance disorder, but I'd expect you to be able to get anywhere just watching a - just watching."

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"No, this is definitely one of the weird mystic ones.  Sorry.  And if it actually is a lost art that comes from a dragon at the core of the world, I'd expect it to be, uh, super extra bonus weird and mystic."  Tired as Haroun's brain may be, there's some kinds of reasoning it can do on full automatic.  "Assuming the whole thing was true, did you get the impression this is one of those, uh, legendary story-style destiny-related situations where I've got to practice this art because I'll suddenly turn out to need it five chapters later?"

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"Uh. I did not get the impression of that off anything that happened in the dungeon but I have in the background been assuming that I should default to keeping you around because I was placed near you and any unusual abilities you acquire don't make me think that less."

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"It honestly didn't occur to me until now that I might be your destined Companion, but now that you point it out, I can see how I'm a pretty atypical guy to run into right as his carriage is being attacked by bandits.  But I am going to deal with this revelation later, you know?"

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"Can you without overloading yourself at least tell me if 'destined Companions' are in fact a thing and what that thing is, I was operating very much on guesses."

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"I don't know off the top of my head, sorry.  I mean I don't know from history or anything like that.  But it seemed obvious in retrospect as soon as you pointed it out, and I applied the Inverse Probability Theorem to the prior odds of something like that being true and the likelihood ratio for you crossing the path of my carriage at the exact time of a bandit attack.  Massed bandit attacks on carriages with two visible C-ranked guards are just not that common."

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"Oh.

Uh, sorry."

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"Why?  We've got no evidence that the Summoned Hero mechanism arranged for it to happen.  It could have just selected among events that were already happening.  And even if not, you didn't volunteer for a pre-existing Summoned Hero mechanism, never mind your being responsible for setting it up to work that way."

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"My native language has an ambiguity between 'I wish that hadn't happened to you' and 'I regret having done that to you' and it's usually just stupid but actually in this case I think the ambiguity itself is about right." Pause. "I wonder if -" If she considers the phonetically memorized lyrics of Alouette can she understand them now.

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Unfortunately yes.

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"Wow okay. - uh, language thing works on other langauges from my planet."

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"If that had any relevant implications they're lost on me right now.  And I'm sorry too, I should have understood what you meant by sorry, it's just - I'm not going to be at my best until the next time I've had a full night's sleep, I suspect."

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"Yeah. Let's call it a night. Thanks for everything."

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A new day dawns in the same different world.

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Is anything going to stop them from collecting enough food and whatnot for the road and being on their way to Cowcorn?

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Nope.  On their way to Cowcorn they go.

Any time not otherwise filled by Bella writing in her notebook, Bella asking Haroun questions, other conversations that Bella initiates, Bella looking like she wants to be left alone, Haroun guessing that Bella might want to be left alone, or other necessary activities related to feeding humans and horses, can at will be filled by Haroun's infinite supply of questions about Bella's world.

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Bella is mostly happy to talk about her world, though most of their exchanges generate as many questions as they answer. But she also wants to pick up some low-mana spells to practice - can she learn the water spell, say? - and at one point, after they've had lunch:

"So - in historical records - does whoever wins the big dustup just - stick around here in this world?"

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Relatively few of the spells that Haroun knows, or that can be found in his textbooks, will work when Haroun tries modifying them to run off two-tenths of mana, which it develops Bella can now deploy safely.  Among the spells that do work are:

『Lighting Bolt』 - shine a pulse of light on something.  Bella would need to use a lot more mana for this to start blasting holes in what it hits.

『Condense Fog』 - produces a very small and faint and brief patch of mist, at least when Bella uses it.

『Temperature Down』 - cools a targeted volume, to a degree depending on the mass and specific heat of what's targeted, and the degree of mana expended.  This spell is supposed to have a much more mana-efficient version that transfers heat instead of quieting it.  That version is usually a Tier-2 Skill, which Haroun of course doesn't know.

『Temperature Up』 - inverse of Temperature Down.

『Endless Fountain』 - inefficient form of Water Magic conjuration that scales linearly with mana and works even in a desert.  Bella can use it to produce a single droplet of water.

『Glow Fog』- combination of Light Magic and Water Magic, good to learn if you're planning to climb the Illusion skill tree.  It does what you'd expect when Bella uses it - small patch of mist, briefly lit from within.

『Evaporate』- combination of Fire Magic and Water Magic that targets heat specifically at liquid-phase rather than solid-phase material in a stationary target.

『Evaporative Glow』- combination of Fire Magic and Water Magic and Light Magic, which lights up all the liquid-phase matter to be targeted, and heats only that matter for so long as Bella maintains the spell, with the lighting leaving the material as soon as it changes to gaseous phase.  This is one of the more advanced spells at Haroun's current level, which Bella can rattle off without apparent difficulty.  If Bella keeps the casting rate down to a twentieth of a mana per second, she can maintain the spell apparently indefinitely while feeling clumsy and tired.

『Sparkles』- decorative tiny sparks that cast anisotropic light, the radiance and hue differing by the direction the spark is viewed, with further addenda to the spell producing 『Dancing Sparkles』 that move through the air and change their outputs.  Haroun can't cast this spell yet.  Bella can read it off just fine, though she only gets one or two sparkles and they fade soon after.

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"Well, yeah.  The Summoned Hero before the Summoned Hero before you went around afterwards killing all the kings who'd legalized slave collars - I think I already mentioned that?"

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"Yeah but after that? I don't know how long that takes."

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"Uh.  Not much data to work off of, unless you're a High Elf.  The last Summoned Hero died in a mutual wipeout with the Demon Lord.  I don't remember hearing much about what happened to the previous-previous Summoned Hero besides the slave collar thing.  Something something legendary monster got curbstomped(*) if I'm recalling correctly.  Er, I mean the monster got curbstomped(*), not the Summoned Hero.  I guess I imagine the Summoned Hero died of old age, because I'd be likely to hear about it if they'd died any ways more spectacular than that?"

(*) Lit. 'eaten like a grape'.

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"Okay."

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Continued riding brings them to a smaller town than Relis, where they stop for the night.

The nicest inn here doesn't have nice hot showers, though there's much more expensive options if you're a passing noble.  There's a communal bathing area if Bella wants to go in for 4 copper.  Haroun will definitely do that on his end, if Bella has no objection.  There's also a much smaller Guild office, if Bella wants to visit it and look for fetch quests.

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Bella is not herself up for a communal bath for "uh, cultural reasons". Are their finances tight enough that she needs a fetch quest?

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At the rate they're spending money, they should be able to travel three more days past this and arrive in Cowcorn with a little safety margin, so long as they don't eat any especially fancy dinners.

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She doesn't require any especially fancy dinners unless 'no beef in' is fancy.

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There's plenty of people in this kingdom who don't eat things with 『Qualia』 - meal options for them are very widely available.  Dinner isn't especially tasty by the standards of Earthly cuisine, but it's palatable and filling.

Dawn comes.  The shades on Bella's current room aren't as nice; she might get woken up a little earlier than usual.

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Then she will get up and say "』』』』" and proceed with the remainder of the journey to Cowcorn.

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"⊥』』』⊥" Haroun corrects.  "And I should've remembered about that yesterday, sorry."

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"Right." She says it correctly this time.

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They eat breakfast and continue on their way.

On this day's journey, they approach a red-wooden bridge over a small creek.

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"This is the part where I dig up my buried treasure," she mentions.

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"Any reason I shouldn't come with?"

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"None at all."

She turns left. She follows the creek till she finds the lightning-struck tree.

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It's not far at all.  Couple of minutes tops, by horse.

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She gets off the horse, performs appropriate horse-parking rituals, and says, "This is the time you'd want to tell me if you had a shovel."

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"Er, I was not informed that one might be required."

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"Dragon said to use my sword. Sanity check on that being somehow a way to get me to break my probably magic sword?"

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"By sticking it in dirt?  It'd have to be heavily trapped dirt.  Uh, I want to say that at that point they'd just ambush us, but that could be wishful thinking and wanting to get this over with."

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"Mm-hm." Dig dig dig.

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The ground here is hard-packed, but not nearly packed enough to be a match for Bella's sword.  Punching it through the ground breaks it up enough that it's easy to pry out chunks with the sword.  She might have to get her hands a little dirty too, but there's a creek right there.

Soon enough, one of the chunks of dirt pried up shows a chunk of something harder.  Extracting it from the dirt and bathing it in the creek reveals a guildplate-shaped object of reddish-silvery-golden metal.  It's not exactly the same shape as Bella's own guildplate; it's comparatively slightly thinner, slightly narrower, and the vertices and edges more rounded.  But if your prior belief was that this was a modern guildplate, put through some magical catastrophe that eroded off all the writing, you could easily see this as the remains of a guildplate the same shape as Bella's, after some horrific orichalcum-eroding blast.

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"...that's an orichalcum guildplate.  Or what's left of one, I guess.  Those are the SS-rank adventurers and just the material for one is worth - snarkleroys, did that dragon say what happened?"

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"Not in detail. He said it's from the last time guildplates were issued in this style."

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Haroun wants to demand that Bella clarify what she means, but the wear on the orichalcum guildplate is obvious, if you know that you're looking at wear rather than epic-level disintegrating magic, which nobody else would think of at a time like this, because orichalcum simply doesn't wear down.

 

 

"How long ago?"

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"Well, long enough to do this to it.

He says the whole heroes and demon lords thing has been going on a very, very long time.

Honestly it's just sort of part and parcel with there being enough worlds for one with games like your ecology to pop up? Multiverse is very big and very old."

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"It - it could be a trick.  They'd just have to spend the money and effort to forge orichalcum in a shape like this.  Or kill an SS-rank adventurer and hit their guildplate with SS-rank destructive magic."

His heart already knows this isn't the case.  But then, that could be exactly the response they were hoping for, if they spent that much money and effort.  It's just, it's just why.  Why would that be the optimal strategy for any reasonable goal, given that much money and effort, why would they use it to do this.  Even taking into account that they could be trying to confuse him, or Bella, or somebody, by presenting him with exactly that puzzle, why would they be doing that.

Haroun is very quiet as they get back on their horses.  He is very young and the universe is very old.

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"Kind of his entire point was that if one finds it objectionable that every few centuries you get a soft reset of your planetary civilization, one has to pull out extreme novelty, because anything you'd think of on your first hundred tries has been done."

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After a while, Haroun says, "So.  The dragon told you about metaphysics, huh?"

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She consults her notes. "He introduced himself, bragged about his hoard - I assume a chest made of 'philosopher's stone' with a key in it is really cool? I don't know what 'philosophers' stones' here do. Said nobody had ever taken his stuff. Said I was interesting because he couldn't read my mind or my destiny, asked me 'what are your designs upon this world'. I told him I wasn't sure yet and might know more in a week or two and favored the general flourishing of all sapient beings. Then he asked me the thing about which I'd rather be and I was like 'wait what' and - I have more detail written down than this, by the way, let me know if anything sounds interesting enough for my closest rendering - and he said the overseer, by which I presume he meant God, was sentimental and protective of his people but in fact I can pick. I asked why there'd be one of each if the positions were symmetrical, he - I think I told you this part already, blah blah mechanism of destiny. But that my opacity could thwart that maybe and there's never been two heroes or two lords and if he were me he might just match whatever the other one did and see what happened.

Says the council of high elves has already located me and the other guy, wouldn't tell me where other guy was but did tell me he bought a lionkin and hasn't taken her collar off and also that this is more characteristic of heroes than demon lords. Asked about and he said he hadn't bothered with finding out whether the other guy knows about me. He said the hero is defined by the choice to preserve and the demon lord by the choice to begin again. He said heroing seemed shortsighted to him, people are mortal, blah blah, world is seeking something and disrupting it just a little only winds up with it settling back like so after a while, did not explain anything about how the 'world' is seeking something distinct from how God is, asked me weird personal philosophy questions, I said I thought even if people are mortal I didn't think blowing them up tended to improve them, then I asked how onlookers distinguished demon lords and summoned heroes - since that would affect how the history got written down, see, useful filter on anything I read later -

- he said you could answer that one, told me time there was expensive, said he wasn't interested in helping me win an ordinary victory, just to disrupt the 'dance' but he didn't know what I needed to know - might have the answer but didn't have the question. Then he explained the expensiveness as being about it being difficult to contest the will of the dungeon core and force it to maintain the spell. I asked what gets this place back on track when demon lords win and he was like, it emerges out of the basic way the world works, skills and spells and dungeons and and stuff, and whatever could knock the place off the rails isn't native.

Asked for his contact information and got instructions for telling him stuff and he says it's 'not impossible' he will hear. I asked for his sources of information besides, like, watching stuff happen, and he said it's about timing - we show up when things are stable, or when the same groups keep fighting, when discoveries slow down, crime's mostly under control, everybody's mostly behaving in a stable way. Then bam. And if the heroes win too many times, demon lords get stronger, so no civilization gets to stick around very long. I said how do the demon lords get stronger if the roles aren't settled in advance or does making them both stronger just favor instability, wondered if the place just needed an industrial revolution. He said industrial revolution's been tried and that even if we can pick whatever we want it may be predictable by the selection mechanism and the higher worlds don't know what the answer is either and he thinks the world was made to find out whatever-it-is. Then he asked what my last question was. I forget what I almost asked but I actually instead asked if I had any guarantee of his accuracy and he said no.

Then he gave me buried treasure instructions, told me what the chameleon cloak is called in passing, told me to turn in the plate to the guild for the reward, said the only thing that hasn't happened before is my opacity, if I don't capitalize on that nothing changes in the long run. Then I was back in the dungeon by the stairs where we met up again."

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It's a lot to chew on and Haroun is probably going to ask her to repeat it later.  Some time later.

The probability of this scenario has certainly risen to the point where he needs to keep separate track of that possible world, just like he needs to keep track of the world where this is all an elaborate plot for an unknown purpose.  At least there's a mental Skill for that.  Haroun has no idea what the people of Bella's world do instead.

Haroun Pevers rides for a time.

The thought that there might be some utilitarian argument he'll have to listen to, for why it is perfectly reasonable to take the part of the Demon Lord and wipe out everyone, is like an aching hole in his heart, a place of contradiction.  And he can already see the maneuver his mind wants to execute to stomp down on the contradiction.  It doesn't matter whether there could possibly be some utilitarian argument for picking the Demon Lord's side over the Summoned Hero's side, because that's not the only option.  Clearly, the real utilitarian priority over the long run will turn out to be disrupting the whole cycle, which is coincidentally exactly what Haroun wants to do in order to avoid a war that will probably kill all of his friends and family no matter who wins it.

It's a very clever argument.  It might even not be wrong.  The fact that Haroun's mind is immensely motivated to build an argument like this and seize on it doesn't make it wrong.  It just makes it very hard to think about.

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They get into the next town that night, a relatively larger one.  (Though still with a Guild office probably too small to accept an orichalcum guildplate being turned in; the dragon said to do that at Cowcorn.)  The inn has showers, this time.

When Bella leaves in the brighter morning, she'll see that there's posters around town advertising a slave auction, with some leering text about how attractive girls and boys will be sold there, including a prize beastfolk woman.  One gets the impression that slave auctions are considered a spectator event by a certain sort of person, and that the slave auctioneers are happy to play to this.  Does the Summoned Hero / Demon Lord care to do anything about that while she's in town?

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No but it puts her in a REALLY BUMMED MOOD.

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Haroun can tell.  There was a time when he'd have felt pure fellowship with her over that; now he still feels a lot of fellowship and a little bit of wondering if this is the kind of thing that swings somebody's choice toward Demon Lord.  He doesn't say it out loud.  It seems - stupid, like he can guess what Bella says in reply.  Something along the lines of That's not how I work, why would it be?  Seeing a slave auction doesn't make him want to wipe out all the countries in the world.  And if Bella's not happy seeing this in her new world, because why would she be, then she doesn't need him speaking up right now and asking dumb questions.

He still deliberately stops the horses so he can pick up some snacks being sold by a stall that prominently advertises『fëa 』-free foods, with an uncollared and well-dressed beastman cook and a human cashier working in obvious harmony.  He really doesn't want Bella to start thinking that slave sellers and buyers make up his whole world.

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Yum, chicken. If she notes the poster-perfect diversity of the staff she doesn't comment.

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Ride.  Ride.  Ride.  New town.  Inn.  This one doesn't have 『Qualia』-free food and they have to cross a whole street to find a restaurant that does.  Haroun runs through shirtless martial arts exercises.  Sleep.  Wake up.  Remember to say ⊥』』』⊥.  『Qualia』-free breakfast.  Ride.  Haroun asks Bella about her world.  She asks him about his world.  Bella repeatedly Evals the few spells she knows, getting started on increasing her mana capacity, and possibly leveling her magic Skills if that's also happening.  Soon she's up to casting with three-tenths of a mana, then four-tenths.

So it goes, and in due time Haroun announces that he expects to make the city of Cowcorn before nightfall.

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Bella produces a couple of drops of water with the endless fountain spell to make a wisp of hair stay out of her face. "What should I expect once we're there - turn in the plate, then, do I get an inn, or do you have a place I can crash at, I don't know if you're in a dorm or what."

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"Huh.  I think I was thinking in the back of my mind that I'd try to arrange one night of temporary student housing, but that's when I thought we'd be making town with only a few silver left, not... whatever is the reward for turning in an orichalcum guildplate.  Uh, no promises because I don't actually know, but I'd expect that to be pretty substantial considering how much you could get on the black market for the scrap value of the orichalcum itself.  So you can probably get a really nice place for yourself, near campus.  High-nobility-level stuff, if you're willing to spend the money now and rely on your growth rate as a Summoned Hero... summoned person... to make more money later.  I could grab stuff from my own dorm and sleep in whatever servant's room those quarters come with.  Or you could get a room at an upscale regular inn, or a couple of rooms if you want your destined companion sticking around nearby.  I don't want to presume, but my guess is we both see that as common sense."

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"Yeah, I think so. I mean, if you're sick of me by all means go do something else but I'd appreciate having you around. I don't think I want to splurge on real estate but I guess I'll look around and get some sort of place with room for you. Is that going to look weird -?"

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"Probably.  Why, does that matter to you?"

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"It doesn't especially but if I don't know how it looks I can't, like, interact with people looking at it and know what information they're working with, and if it's really weird it might be too conspicuous."

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"People tell me I sometimes have a blind spot about this sort of thing, but I think you can just tell people that you hired me to show you around because you're new to Cowcorn.  Anyone with Distinguished Mental Worlds Lv. 1 will keep separate track of the possibility that you're lying for the obvious reason, lying for a nonobvious reason, or telling the truth, and anybody else will jump to a conclusion.  I'd guess it would be the kind of thing that people remember, but not big news?"  Haroun's mind catches up with the rest of him.  "Except that, er... I sort of would like to have something to tell people that isn't a lie.  I guess it's not a lie that I am your guide in Cowcorn, we're not boinking, and we met when you rescued me from bandits and this led to some complicated other things we're not talking about.  If it's okay to tell people that?"

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"Fine by me."

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"Other questions?"

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"Will I be able to audit classes?"

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"Mm... it'd be nice to have Magister Sting sign off on that or at least a Professor.  Wait, what am I thinking?  Unless I'm wrong about what they pay for orichalcum or you have other unexpected expenses, you can afford classes.  And if you show up looking rich enough, people are much less likely to question you for hanging around.  Though I don't actually have a good concept of how much money it takes to look rich, if you're optimizing only for that."

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"...I could go to a clothing store where everything gives you sticker shock*," she says, "and find a pushy salesperson and let them push?"

*lit "a crying purse"

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"That'll just get you expensive stuff, I think?  We want stuff that looks expensive.  I guess it might end up being the same thing if that's how the 『Signaling Equilibrium』 works out.  But I don't know that for sure and I don't have a high-class 『Bargaining』(*) Skill... maybe don't spend too much the first time out, or in just one store."

(*) Lit『Division of Gains From Trade』.

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"Okay. I wasn't thinking about enrolling formally because in my world you can't arbitrarily mix and match classes like that? Is that different here?"

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"Um... you can buy either particular classes, or the buffet pass?  I'd advise the latter if you can afford it?  Though if you want to be one of the Upgraded students in a class who get particular attention and monitoring from the Professor, you need to pay the Upgrade fee for that class and get the Professor's agreement - there's no such thing as an Upgraded buffet pass."

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"Buffet pass, gosh. Okay. - ohhhhh you don't have the whole credentialism thing because you can just put a drop of blood in a thing and it's super obvious what you learned."

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"Yeah, how does that work where you're from?  No, sorry, I should be focusing on answering your Cowcorn-related questions before we get there."

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"I have never been to college anyway so I don't know the details of the educational level at which you get more than very minor control over your class schedule. Uh, hm, how do people tend to pick schools - like, what makes it obvious that a school will be effective at teaching whatever you want to know -"

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"Uh... right, got to state all the things that of course everybody already knows.  Nobody gets to be a Professor at Cowcorn unless they've maxed out all the Skills in the basic Teacher Class.  They've all got tier-2 skills, and some of them have maxed those out and gotten tier-3 Teaching Skills, which is one of the requirements to be a Magister.  Another requirement is that you have to be able to raise the Skills of your students quickly."  Haroun's voice takes on an awed tone.  "Magister Sting charges roughly nothing for Upgrades except to very rich students, but she's... the orichalcum guildplate SS-rank version of a Professor.  She has tier 4 Teaching Skills.  I took a math class from her once and learned all of the basic Inverse Probability Skills in two hours.  Cost me twenty copper for the Upgrade.  If she moved to the capital of a major country and charged what the market would bear, she could get paid in mithril."

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"Gosh, okay, yeah, I should have thought of that, you can just also make the teachers produce all their - wow. - How does the whole Skills thing interact with, like, interpersonal rapport, does it just cover modifying one's approach per student as part of the skill? I've had teachers who were really good with some kids and didn't get anywhere with others and that's somewhat correlated with but not completely predicted by which kids bother trying in general."

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"I wasn't speccing myself to become a teaching professor, but, uh, I mean, obviously all those quantities interact?  Goodness of teacher times talent of student times compatibility coefficient or something like that - though I'm speaking metaphorically, the second two quantities aren't ones we can measure.  I learned a lot from Professor Nightstar really quickly, but not all of his students learn that fast from him, and I don't learn as fast from other Professors.  And, not to brag or anything, but other students have been known to take whole days to learn subjects from Magister Sting."

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"Aha. Still, sounds like less of a mess than what we have to deal with to get anybody to know anything."

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"Did you learn anything useful that our civilization ought to imitate?  For sorting things out when nothing is measurable, I mean?  Or is it just a giant mess?"  Haroun has now forgotten his sad, brief attempt at having priorities.

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And so they arrive at Cowcorn.

This is a city proper, much larger than Relis.  It has concentric circles of walls where the city outgrew itself again, and again, and again.  Permanent structures are already sprouting like weeds and spreading like ivy around the latest boundary of spell-raised stony bulwarks.  Buildings look gleaming-sparkling-shining clean, not just non-dirty.  If Bella wasn't from Earth, she might be impressed.  There's even a murmuring city noise in the background, not as loud as an Earth city of course, but clearly audible from some distance off.  From the center of the city rise academic towers white as polished bone, thin curved buildings like tusks rising towards heaven, deliberately taller than the city walls were allowed to be.  (Don't worry, the stairs are enchanted with pseudo-lower-gravity and won't be too awful to climb.)

Haroun's student medallion commands more respect than Bella's guildplate, here, but both command sufficient respect to let their carriage pass after a brief search and a few raised eyebrows for all the bloodstains in back.

There's a huge Adventurer's Guild building close by the city gates, bustling enough that there's people and horses and conveyances constantly arriving.  It's a busy time of day with many Adventurers returning from missions, and Haroun and Bella will have to wait a minute or three before somebody arrives to valet their carriage.  Bella gets her first look at an enchanted hover-carriage, gleaming in platinum decorations and with brilliantly blue-glowing repulsors on its underside; the conveyance of a Duke's offspring at least, if not higher.

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She is in fact impressed by the hover-carriage and gives it a longish stare that is hopefully possible to write off as her being a hick. And the architecture is pretty, and different, even if it isn't as tall as downtown Phoenix. She does sort of wonder when exactly walls prove necessary in the course of municipal defense - she has no idea what warfare looks like with magic - maybe they're mostly convenient scaffolding for defensive spells? Can the offensive spells not just arc through the air artillery style? Maybe the walls are anchors for dome shaped spells.

She waits patiently to turn in the orichalcum plate.

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Haroun stops first to deliver all the letters that Marussa and Aralin were couriering on-the-side to Cowcorn - those are heavy to carry around.  (And so their last mission is completed.)

Asking where to turn in the accidentally discovered guildplate of a high-ranked adventurer gets them directed to a desk on floor nine of the building, which will be Bella's first chance to experience half-gravity stairs.  In her current state of dexterity, navigating them is so easy that she doesn't even notice when she gets the Low-G Maneuvering Skill.

And then they're at the desk on floor nine, facing a solemn-looking man in leather armor forged from the skin of black wyrms, looking very mournful and solemn in it.  At least until Bella places an orichalcum guildplate on his desk.

He picks it up.  Stares at it.  Turns it over several times in his hands.  He tries an enchanted device on it and frowns when nothing happens.  He summons a runner and sends for somebody who has the Skills necessary to determine whether this plate is actually orichalcum.  "Where under the skies did you find this?" he says to Bella.

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"The ground? Near a stream. I don't know what it was doing there exactly."

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"What stream where?"

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"I don't know what it's called?" She looks at Haroun.

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"Road between Orchidton and Morrin, near where a redwood bridge crosses the stream."  Haroun is trying to stay very calm and answer briefly; the interrogator probably has Social Skills, and he doesn't have whatever defenses Bella might have.

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"What led you to it?  Was it literally just lying there when you happened to pass by?"

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"No, it was under the ground a bit but not that far. You could probably find the hole if you wanted, it's near a downed tree that looks like it got hit by lightning."

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"What led you to look there?"  The man doesn't sound skeptical, so much as genuinely confused about how the heck a half-melted orichalcum guildplate showed up on his watch.

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"It's a long and fairly irrelevant story."

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"Ma'am, if this proves to be real, we're dealing with a dead SS-rank adventurer!  I didn't even know there was one of those visiting this kingdom!  And they were killed by something that half-disintegrated an orichalcum guildplate!  I do not actually have the authority to insist on hearing the full story of how you found it, but this will very rapidly come to the attention of higher administrators who will wish to know."

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"I don't think it was recent enough you need to worry about wandering SS-rank threats. It was a ways down and there weren't signs of a fight around the area. Someone could have buried it there after picking it up someplace else and I found it before they came back, they might not even have died there."

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The man sighs.  "Ma'am, as I said, I don't have the authority to insist, and I can understand if the explanation is a Skill that you'd rather not disclose, but then you will need to disclose the full circumstances of this to somebody, probably the Guildmaster in person.  It's a serious -"

They're interrupted by a busy-looking woman in comfortable sorceress robes, who picks up the guildplate with a rather skeptical look, and chants, "I offer three-tenths of an offering of mana to the spirits of detection and analysis to scan the composition of this target and report on the average densities of its elemental components, along with the variances of their spatial distributions."

A moment later her skepticism shifts to shock.  "I confirm pure orichalcum.  What the actual hell?(*)  There aren't any SS-ranks in this kingdom!"

"Adventurer Bella was just saying that she found this buried next to a stream, with no signs of a fight," the man offers.

"How'd she run across it then?" says the woman.

(*) Lit. "Why is there a dragon inside my house."

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"I cannot offer you a satisfying explanation for that. I dug it up."

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The woman stares at Bella and her eyebrows go up further.  She snags a passing page.  "Your previous errand is overridden.  Page Wroka that we need an A-rank admin here.  Then get somebody to run and bring a Skill report for Adventurer Bella-four-zero-nine-four-one," the woman says to another runner.

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Maybe someone really did bury that plate for later retrieval and submission to the adventurer's guild as a result of the greatly exaggerated rumor that you can turn it in for cash. Bella taps her foot.

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The man snags a sheet of paperwork.  "Let's get the paperwork done while we wait, since we may as well assume that other matters are successfully resolved?" he says, not in an unfriendly voice.  "I assume you'll want almost all of the reward to your Guild deposit number; is there any amount you want to carry out with you?  The reward for locating a lost orichalcum guildplate is 40 mithril before taxes, so if you're an E-rank without other tax encumbrances it's 18 mithril after that.  Congratulations on that part, by the way."

Haroun will have previously explained to Bella that a mithril coin is worth 31 platinum coins, and that a platinum coin is worth 7 gold coins.  With her previous practice in monetary Skills, Bella will be able to quickly estimate that 18 mithril works out to 1925658 copper.

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Which is about eight million dollars assuming bread is a useful benchmark, damn. She's going to maybe buy a house? She might also have to furnish the house. What did Renée's house cost... Also it is possible that she will wind up having some sort of falling out with the Guild rendering her unable to make withdrawals so she should arrange to still have spending money after that but balance that against there almost certainly being such a thing as pickpocketing skills. "I'd like to take out a couple of mithril in mixed smaller denominations."

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The man's reaction to this can only be described as pffftttt.

"A couple of mithril in mixed smaller denominations, got it," he says.  "By smaller denominations, I assume you mean the coins we all use to buy snacks and socks?  So sixty platinum and fourteen gold, say?  Or did you actually mean to request a sack of silver and copper coins that weighs as much as a small child?"

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"If you don't have a denomination mixing protocol suited to the scenario I can figure something out for you but since I could in fact use socks I will need some silver and copper."

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"Hm.  I suggest taking 16 mithril on deposit, 55 platinum, 35 gold, 210 silver.  Upscale shops can always make change for silver, ma'am, you don't need to have copper on you."  The man's voice has shifted gentler.

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"That will be fine, thank you."

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Several people have attempted to gather around this disturbance and been firmly shoed away.  Then a runner shows up with a sheet of paper that is wordlessly offered to the sorceress.

"My left eyeball is this your stat sheet," she says a second later.

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"Do you want another drop of blood?"

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At this point Wroka shows up.  Wroka is a short woman with pointed ears, wearing leather-and-plate armor whose decorations have a silvery sheen that is somehow visibly prettier than actual silver.  "What's the fuss?"

Events are retold.

Wroka reads some rather brief papers.

The man finishes his side of Bella's paperwork.

"Correct me if I'm summarizing this incorrectly," says Wroka.  "But so far, your career with the Adventurer's Guild has consisted of coming in with the bodies of two dead Adventurers and five dead bandits five days ago, having an utterly ridiculous stat sheet that you attribute to an unknown 『Rare Skill』 blanking out your stat sheet, whose name you can't find out for the same reason.  You had absolutely no idea how to hold that very fine sword, took a noncombatant with you into a minor dungeon, brought back almost exactly enough dungeon loot to get an E-rank plate, and now here you are with the half-destroyed orichalcum guildplate of an SS-rank Adventurer when there aren't any SS-rank Adventurers in this kingdom, which you dug up next to a stream that had no signs of combat nearby, and you don't want to say how or why you knew to look there.  Would you care to correct any of my characterizations?"

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"Well, it sounds weird when you say it like that."

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"Sounds weird?  I may be launching myself high into the sky here, but I dare say that not only does this sound weird, it might be considered to be veritably and actually weird as a matter of true fact."

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"I have literally.  Literally never.  Never ever.  Seen somebody who is so much obvious Trouble.  If I had family here I'd be trying to get them out of the city before you happened to it."

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"Does this somehow mean that the plate is not actually worth money."

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"E-rank Bella-four-zero-nine-four-one, I am ordering you to tell me the correct story of how you obtained this guildplate.  We may speak in private if you wish."

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"Sure. Where's your office or whatever."

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Two floors up.  It's a very lovely huge office with a floor-to-ceiling window-that-is-not-glass, with a view out over the whole city, gleaming-bone academic towers and over the walls to hills and mountains in the distance.

"Well?" says Wroka.

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"I'm new at this, would you be so kind as to explain the exact parameters of your authority over adventurers?"

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"I give an order.  You follow it."

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"Yes, I figured it was something like that, but I was hoping for more detail?"

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"No more detail should be necessary."  The glare that Wroka is trying to give Bella would probably have a significantly greater impact on somebody with a more Violable mind.

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"Do you want me to start guessing? You could tell me if I'm getting warmer or colder."

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"Do not guess.  Obey."  Stronger glare that still doesn't work!

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"Maybe you have the power of life and death over adventurers and consider it gauche to mention, but I could just resign my tinplate and walk right out, losing only your difficult-to-access services as a bank and a lot of hassle over my skill sheet. Maybe you aren't telling me how you enforce this rule because you don't, it runs entirely on people not wanting to piss you off. Maybe you can fine me, although then you might be slightly more willing to make sure I had money. Maybe you are planning to convince me that I should tell you my story by deploying your winning personality, any minute now. Maybe if we can't resolve this then we have to go to some kind of arbitration and you aren't telling me that 'cause they take bribes. Any of this close?"

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Wroka keeps up the glare for a moment, then snarls and clutches at her ear with one hand, an unfamiliar gesture that translates to Bella as facepalm.  "And she's immune to my Social Skills!  My day just keeps getting better!  Who am I dealing with here, the next dragonfucking Demon Lord?  I have the authority to give you a black mark on your permanent record and fine an E-rank adventurer... one entire gold coin.  I could try to get you kicked out and you could file an appeal that I'd lose.  That said, I do not think you want the Adventurer's Guild admin feeling not only pissed at you but also very worried so can you please have some sympathy for my position here and tell me why you turned in a melted orichalcum guildplate?  I don't have family in this city, but I have friends!"

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"This weird guy - actually I'm not even sure it was a guy? This weird person who never actually specified a gender but who had a kind of masculine voice arguably. Was talking about totally unrelated stuff and then described the location to me and I was like, might as well, it's on the way, and I dug there for a bit, and there it was, and I'd heard you can turn the plates in for cash, and I don't have much cash left from killing all those poor pineapple monsters, which I find I have no taste for at all and would rather not turn into a career. I do not know how the orichalcum plate got there. I do not think it was recent violence. I said where I found it and you can go look if you want. I can't rule out the weird person of indeterminate gender having some elaborate plan that involves not themself personally redeeming the plate and them using me as a patsy, I guess, but I don't know what form that would take."

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Wroka grabs both ears.  After a second she turns to Haroun and says, "Was all of that true?"  (Pause in which Haroun says nothing.)  "The truth but not the whole truth.  Right."  She sighs heavily.  "Please confirm to me explicitly that so far as you know you are not hiding the imminent destruction of this city by elder liches, or anything else that's going to drag down more than a couple of dozen civilians with you.  Just for my peace of mind, young lady, if that's what you even actually are."

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"I am too a young lady. I am not hiding imminent municipal destruction. It seems like a nice municipality so far apart from this holdup about getting my money so I can buy some socks."

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"Wonderful!  That doesn't sound at all like it's going down in Relican history as the famous final words that were spoken before the destruction of Cowcorn."  Wroka seizes a pen from her desk and scrawls something on the paperwork that she took from the dark-clad man two floors down.  "But I appreciate that you gave me more of an answer than I could actually have forced from you, so here.  Go ahead and collect your money."  She holds out the paper.  "Just, for the love of mithril, when the day inevitably comes, please go turn into a mind-shatteringly enormous amount of Trouble somewhere that's not inside my jurisdiction."

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Bella accepts her paperwork without further comment.

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Going back down two floors will find them back at the desk of black-clad guy, who cheerfully takes the paperwork back and gives Bella a nice jingling sack of money, along with instructions to go to the Guild Bank desk and set up some biometric tokens and secret passcodes for her newly wealthy Guild account.

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She will go to the bank and do this.

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There's a bit of a waiting-in-line delay, but nothing too arduous.  Bella is shortly the owner of a more-than-silvery ring whose exterior bears a translucent gem, which ring will fit nicely over a small finger (not advised) or relatively larger toe (better).  The translucent gem will flash into sparkling light when touched to Bella's, and only Bella's, flesh; at least unless somebody is willing to spend considerably more than 16 mithril on faking it.  And there are passcodes for large expenditures as well.

The Guild Bank officer needs next-of-kin instructions.  Does Bella want to put anything there, or have her money all go to the Adventurer's Guild widows-and-orphans fund in the event of her death?

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"Is there a selection of charities?"

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Blank look.

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"...things like the widows and orphans fund with dissimilar focuses. No?"

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"I suppose there's the Church of Teadrinker," says the official, in the tones of somebody who's never before in her life tried to make a mental list of charities for any reason.  The word Teadrinker isn't in Lictic.

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"Haroun, if I make you my next of kin, can you avoid developing expensive tastes and dump what's left on something I'd have approved of?"

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Haroun feels startled, honored, trusted, and unworthy, in roughly that order.  People have been killed for a lot less than 16 mithril.  "If I survive you, absolutely, and I'll leave instructions for my parents to do the same if I don't."

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"Cool, thanks. He's my next of kin." She points at him.

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The day's last light is fading quickly, as Haroun and Bella exit the Guild building and pick up their carriage.  Haroun observes that merchants tend to flee the coming of night; if Bella wants to shop tonight, she may need to do some of that quickly and before they find an inn or eat dinner or shower.  Shop, or find inn?

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"Change of clothes - I will settle for pajamas if we find a store with pajamas first - then inn." She has her money bag inside her backpack on the grounds that locals do not know how zippers work and against someone of ridiculous pickpocketing skill that might be more defense than putting it somewhere she'd expect to feel it moving, but when she had to take her shoes off for the ring anyway she stuck a couple platinum in there.

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Cowcorn is a large enough city to have a specialized pajama store!  Navigating there with the carriage is a bit unwieldly, but Haroun knows how to stick to carriage-navigable wide arterial streets.  He's home now.

The pajama store does not have quite the selection of such Earthly clothiers as Isabella Swan was once accustomed to shop at.  She can choose between Pajama Style 1, Pajama Style 4, or Pajama Style 6, if she wants to immediately wear out something in roughly her size.  One ordinarily has pajamas custom-tailored, which takes a few hours even for a high-level Tailor.  Haroun looks abashed for not thinking this through earlier, and notes that if Bella wants to upgrade to magical tailoring, she can get some nice magical pajamas immediately by paying gold instead of silver.

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"I don't want to spend stupid amounts of money on magic pajamas. I will consider being spendier when I'm picking things to make an impression but these are pajamas." She will take a Pajama Style 4 in blue and be on her way.

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It's getting dark fast.  Haroun spots an inn with a silver-gilded sign that means that hot showers and clothes-cleaning services and tasty food will all be in the offing, and proposes that they get a couple of rooms there for the night.  It's a strange thought to him that Bella doesn't really need to worry about money anymore, not for a long while.  Maybe not ever, if her otherworldly luck holds out.

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Bella is happy to accept his inn suggestion and get dinner there and change into her pajamas and put her daywear in the inn laundry and go to bed. In the morning she collects the daywear, puts it on, and prepares for a more elaborate shopping trip.

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Haroun feels a certain quiet dread.  But no, Bella isn't like other girls.  She won't do what other girls would do if they suddenly had 2 mithril in petty cash to go shopping, namely try on 2,304 outfits and make him carry all of the resulting weight.  Surely not.  He's not even her boyfriend.

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"I think maybe real estate first? So I know if I'm also buying furniture or not, and can prioritize? Where's the school, I might as well optimize hard on location to save search time since I don't have to economize too hard."

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School is where the giant bone-white towers rise up like tusks.

Real estate agents... are not quite a standard profession in Cowcorn city.  One would, perhaps, inquire of one's merchant friends, who would inquire of others, and by word-of-mouth a recommendation might reach you.  You could also walk around the perimeter of Cowcorn academy seeking for-sale signs.  Or look for a more upscale version of an inn, in the same area, to bide a week or two.  Haroun also knows where the wealthy children on campus have their dorm-mini-mansions; temporary housing could be sought there.

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If for-sale signs are a done thing she will start with the perimeter walk, as much to learn her way around as anything else, but if that doesn't turn up anything promising a "mini-mansion" might be about right.

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For sale, old and busted.  For sale, new and busted.  For sale, new and shiny and conveniently located next to an incredibly seedy-looking brothel with included sound effects.  For sale, old and busted.  For sale, old and busted again.

For sale... hmmmm?  This looks interesting.

Knocking on the door produces an answer from a man in his apparent late thirties, bearded and short enough to suggest dwarven ancestry if that's a thing here.  He identifies himself as Laston, and affirms that he's watching the place for its owner and seller, a B-rank Adventurer.  He is authorized to make over the deed at the Guild Bank, given a good offer.

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"This one's cute," she says of the ivied house with its wildflower yard and interesting windowpanes, distinct from its not-for-sale neighbors mostly by being a different color of brick under all the ivy and different stain on the roof shingles. "Can we see inside?"

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He gives her a measured look, running a mental calculation that concludes with him definitely being able to subdue one tinplate Adventurer plus one academy kid, in the event of trouble.  Even if she has an unusually shiny scabbard for her sword.  "Of course," he says smoothly, as if this question was never in doubt.

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In she goes. It's tasteful - no festooning of precious metals where precious metals need not be. The walls dare to be colors, often several of them in the rooms with paper instead of paint; the light fixtures are fanciful rather than opulent. There's plenty of room everywhere, even with the furniture included - "Is the furniture included?" - and plenty of air and plenty of light. There's a breakfast nook and window seats and walk-in closets in the bedrooms and, of course, various magical amenities.

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Furniture can be included... for a price!  Don't worry the price isn't your soul.

Magical amenities include:

An enchanted hot water system that probably accounts for much of the price of the house.

Red-glowing crystals for nighttime, both inside the house, and outside on the grounds.

Windows in the master bedroom that will opaque or clear upon a command word being uttered.

A Tamed Crystal Slime that roombas the carpets.

A magical picture-frame that can store pictures of up to fourteen previous events that took place before it in the dining room.

Wardrobes that ward off moths, even powerful magical moths bent on consuming powerful magical clothing.

A magical array currently powering a set of dirt-simple magical-communication stones that can cause the stone at the other end to flash once, connected to local businesses that will deliver up: laundry service; six particular premade meals the previous owner enjoyed (and the corresponding restaurants could be told to reinterpret those signals); a stone that can go back to the brothel that owns it, unless Bella would like to explore that area of existence; a seller of alcohols; an emergency cleaner; emergency fire response; emergency medical response; emergency military response.

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The existence of the stones is interesting but Bella pretends she's politely scandalized about the brothel part instead. How much does the house cost? (With and without furniture.)

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Polite scandalism seems lost on the seller.  The house can be hers for... ONE MILLION DOLLARS.  Or ten mithril, said in about that tone of voice.  Naturally that doesn't include furniture.

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Wow she was totally wrong about how much houses cost! Or bread is not a good benchmark. Or this house corresponds to a much nicer house back on Earth than her mom's house, actually, that's probably a lot of it. "I assume there's some procedure to get the money out of my Guild Bank account but I've never actually bought a house before," she remarks.

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"I think for amounts like that, they transfer ownership between Guild accounts rather than bringing out the money.  You'd get the Bank's assurance the deed was real, as well.  And this is not a ten-mithril house."

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"I don't know what houses cost! I was thinking it was about triple my estimate but my estimate is based on very shaky assumptions."

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Haroun makes a show of looking around the room again, and winks at Bella when, he thinks, he's at an angle Salesman Laston can't see.  "Half a mithril," says Haroun.

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"Half a mithril?  If you're not serious, boy, get out of this house and let me talk to the real Adventurer here."

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"Ha!  You get out of the house, then.  I'm pretty sure half a mithril was within a closer factor of a sane price than ten mithril."

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"This house last sold to its owner for eight mithril, and that was twenty years ago.  Prices have risen since then."

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"Really now.  Make you a deal.  We'll go to the Guild bank and look at the record of last sale.  If it was seven mithril or more, we'll buy the house for ten mithril.  If not, we get it for half a mithril.  Bargain?"

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"That's an absurdity!"

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"Let's go look at some different houses, Bella.  There'll probably be some sellers there who won't lie to close a deal and name reasonable prices, and you can get a feel from there for what the real prices are."

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"Yeah, this one is cute but it'd be sort of weird if we'd found the best one this early," she shrugs.

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By the time they're walking out of the door together, Laston is yelling after them that two mithril is absolutely his final offer and they're welcome to check the last selling price at the Guild, if they're that uninformed about values in this extremely fine neighborhood.

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("Two mithril is about what I'd actually expect," Haroun says in a low voice.  "If we had lots of time, I'd still say to look at other houses first, or hire somebody with better 『Bargaining』, but I don't know what your schedule plans are like.")

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("Spending a lot of time haggling instead of getting into classes and working on progressing seems like a mistake but I don't know how much time it'd wind up being to look at a couple more places.")

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("Honestly I would not buy a whole house this fast, but you are really in a very different situation than anything I'm used to occupying.  But probably a couple more (1.6 hours) at least, if we actually look inside and around places.")

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("Eh, we can finish going all the way around the campus and see if he'll go down to one and a half should we appear to be about to turn the corner.")

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He goes down to 1 mithril 17 platinum as they turn the corner.  That's without furnishings, though.  Furnishings demand 1 mithril 27 platinum.

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"...might be close enough. What do you think?"

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Haroun shrugs helplessly.  "I hope you don't think less of me if I say that I've never actually bought a house and have not much idea of how one goes about it."

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"Hey, he probably could have talked me into paying ten mithril for it if I'd been alone. - how bad are taxes going to eat me alive on this, do you know?"

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"Oh, taxes are an annual function of the value of the land the house is built on, not what the house itself looks like.  You're looking at a few gold a year, at worst two platinum and that's if he was underplaying how nice of a neighborhood this is."

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"Oh, it's not part of the transaction itself? Okay. ...I think I'll just go for it. Maybe quibble over the furniture." She turns back to the salesman and ambles his way. "Is that factoring in having to have all the furniture hauled away if I don't care to buy it?" she wonders.

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By the time they're actually at the Guild, the price is 1 mithril 23 platinum with furniture.  Haroun has Bella pay a silver to check the books; the last time this house sold was for 20 years ago, and that was 1 mithril 10 platinum.  A reasonable level of appreciation given Cowcorn's growth since then, so far as Haroun knows.  Taxes are 5 gold per annum.

And soon Bella is the proud owner of a house, with biometric keys for herself, Haroun, and up to three others to be determined.  More than that will take rekeying the locks.

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She is in a pretty good mood about her house. Now it is time to have lunch and then to own more than one outfit.

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Nom!

So what is Bella looking for in an outfit?  A city the size of Cowcorn has some genuine variety of clothing, though particular shops are still pretty sparse.  Is she looking to sport some casual light-armored adventuress chic?  Somber merchant robes?  Slightly slutty teenage sorceress?  Rich-bitch student?  Rich non-bitch student who is also a light-armored adventuress?  Most of all, is she going magical or nonmagical?

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Well, that all depends on what is magical about the clothes.

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Self-cleaning!  Temperature regulation!  Sweat vanishing!  Expensive arrowproofing!  Incredibly expensive minor strength boost!  Color-changing!  Unbelievably expensive automatic monthly updates to match the latest fashions from the capital!  Magically expanded pockets just five mithril, if you'd rather have bigger pockets instead of three houses like Bella's house!  Shirt sleeves that clean themselves immediately after you blow your nose on them!  These panties automatically fall off if a boy kisses you hard enough!  Powered flight suit with anti-dragonbreath fire resistance, only 30 mithril plus 2 mithril per month maintenance contract!  Sexy lingerie that secretes an aphrodisiac which is only slightly illegal so just don't use it on anybody important!  Hair ornaments that automatically clean your hair!  Hair ornaments that automatically do your hair!  Hair ornaments that automatically do your hair in the latest fashions from the capital!  Headbands that fit over your ears so it looks like your ears are elven!  Chameleon cloak that can shift itself to match the fashions of the rest of your clothing, on sale for a mere 2 mithril!  Full-coverage assassin suit that perfectly blends into ambient light levels, you must have an appropriate license to purchase this item wink wink nudge nudge.  And if you've ever wanted to wear jewelry that glows brighter than neon bulbs, the luminance enchanters sure didn't stop there!  This iron crown is set with three brilliant white gems that look like they could light up Bella's whole house!

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Well, not having to do laundry sounds nice and it's possible one day she will be very glad of having gotten herself arrowproofed. How expensive are those exactly? Normally she'd be tempted by the color-changing but mostly in lieu of buying fourteen of the same shirt, and she has now been thoroughly convinced via days on the road in literally one shirt that there are advantages to owning fourteen instead. Also how does the chameleon cloak work, in case she, uh, wants one?

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Arrowproofing costs around +4-6 gold per clothing item, depending on the size; it doesn't protect areas the clothing doesn't cover.  She could get full merchant's robes with long sleeves arrowproofed for +6 gold, and that would cover most of her, but that wouldn't look fashionable or rich on a student Bella's age.  Separate pants and skirt will cost +5 gold each.  The cost of the enchantment on a clothing item is not linear in its surface area.

Color-changing costs +15 silver per item (around +1 gold) if Bella happens to want some of that anyways.  Autolaundry is about +35 silver per item.

The Chameleon Cloak is a loot drop off a Queen Chameleon Slime on the final layer of the legendary dungeon at the center of Relica City, Relica's Capital, brought back by A-rank adventurers only two of whom lived to tell the tale -

"We've been to the Relis dungeon," says Haroun.  "Try telling the actual truth if you want a sale."

- loot drop off a Mutant Chameleon Slime in layer nine of the Relis dungeon.  It's not the assassin-grade drop from Relis's boss monster, which can serve as almost but not quite an invisibility cloak if you cover yourself fully and stay motionless, that would sell for more like 8 mithril.  (Not that an Adventurer could sell it for the retail price, of course; still less after taxes.)  It will, however, adjust to blend in with the rest of your clothing; or look like a cloak of sundappled leaves in a forest; or once you have sufficient synchronization with the item, you can bend your will on it and make it look like any pattern of cloak that fits its cut.  The fact that it's not really all that useful to a non-Adventurer is part of what makes this an expensive prestige fashion item!  All the ladies in the capital are wearing it!  The queen wears it!

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Gosh. Maybe depending on how the rest of her shopping goes. (She already has one and can get it back from Haroun now she knows you have to put it on to work it.) What is there in the way of robes that say 'sorceress' instead of 'merchant', like the lady who verified the orichalcum?

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Merchant robes are dark, drapy, and somber.  Sorceress robes are theoretically cut for freedom of movement in dungeons; the ones with added arrowproofing tend to be high-coverage and have default shades that blend in with stone.  Some of those also have color-changing to serve more fashionable purposes, if you know what color you want them to be and how to coordinate them with enchanted jewelry.  There's versions that can fold back to expose more skin, for fashion purposes, while trying to still clearly signal that these could be quality adventuring robes if the barely visible flaps were pulled out to cover the chest again.  Aside from that there's a variety of subtle fashions that Haroun is too nerdy to know how to read, and it's hard to get a good answer from the saleswomen because they keep trying to make it sound like anything Bella shows a sign of liking would send just the signal they're guessing Bella wants to send.  It would probably have stood a better chance of fooling Bella if their Social Skills worked on her properly.

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She has walked out of the third robe shop when she says "why is everyone here trying to sell stuff like that? Are they all on commission? I'm used to bored clerks working for minimun wage who might help me pick between two cuts of jeans and are not nearly invested enough to bullshit me."

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"This is only a conjecture, but perhaps, in your home country, merchants are less picky about ensuring sellers have high levels of sales Skills, or there are fewer sellers with high levels of selling Skill to be found?  I can see how the situation here might grate on somebody not used to it."

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"Somehow I was foolishly optimistic that sales skills would involve less lying and more, I don't know, telling me that olive green or whatever is good for my skin tone."

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"We're getting into the kind of thing that other people sometimes tell me I'm not good at understanding.  But I think that words uttered in sales aren't really... supposed to be mutually agreed to be referential in the same sense as ordinary language?  There's some kind of weird thing going on where the salesguy telling you about how the cloak was a drop from a Queen Chameleon Slime is... trying to display their skill at performing and this somehow causes other people to be willing to pay a higher price?  I don't actually understand it, and my approach is to call bullshit in a way that sounds like I actually have definite knowledge and am using it rather than putting on a counter-performance.  Sometimes I have to walk out, but sometimes they give me a strange and half-pitying look and switch to using words that mean things."

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"Is there such a thing as a person who I can hire to take all my measurements, send to do my shopping for me, and tip if they get something I find satisfactory for under some amount of money?"

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"Probably.  No clue where to find one who wouldn't just rip you off... well, now that I'm actually thinking about it, I can think of one or two women I share a class with who'd know somebody like that and wouldn't be on the take for a cut of the commission after recommending one to you."  Haroun actually finds it kind of odd that Bella expects to be able to walk into a different dimension and immediately be good at shopping there, but he's not quite sure how to inquire about this.  "Maybe buy one outfit today that looks good to you, and expect that a week later you'll know how to buy a better outfit?  There's people at Cowcorn who are very much the prisoner of their first impressions, but Magister Sting is very good at looking past them and Professor Nightstar is very good at seeing through them.  Or you could find a shop with outfits that look roughly right to you, and just frankly tell them you're from another country, new to Cowcorn, and could they please be nice to you and help you assemble an outfit that sends the following exact message.  You'd be taking a risk, but sometimes people will be nice if you ask them explicitly to be nice."  Haroun sighs.  His mind has made another suggestion and he really wishes it had been less creative.  "Or alternatively," he says with a certain amount of dread, but she is the Summoned One, and he is trying to be a good destined companion and tell her about all her options, "we could find one of my academic friends who knows more about fashion, and ask them to help you shop."

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"I think I want to own more than two total outfits for the ensuing week. I'm used to just having four of the kind of pants and fourteen of the kind of shirt you saw me in when I landed, in different colors - more the shirts than the pants, the pants are just different shades of blue - and replacing them when they wear out, ideally with more of the same, sometimes without even physically walking into a store and definitely without having to know how to haggle. And this communicated 'does not spend a whole lot of time thinking about clothes', and that was fine because I wasn't on a quest to recruit and filter allies and suchlike. But that sounds otherwise like a decent mix of strategies, I'll ask nicely at the next robe shop and see if they help and I at least have the prices I was quoted at the last three to compare. Might circle back to the second one if that doesn't pan out and get the olive green I almost took. Then maybe meet your friends."

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The next magical-clothing shop has a saleslady who at least appears warm and thoughtful.  Of course, appearing warm and thoughtful is an essential Social Skill.

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And not the kind that can't work on Bella, even! Still. "Hey, I'm from a foreign country and I'm not used to caring very much about what I wear, but I'm planning to start taking classes at the school soon and I don't want to be in these when I'm meeting new people, especially not every day. I don't need to wear what the Queen's wearing, I'm not trying to tell everyone I'm some kind of princess? But I'd like to know what's legible to people as what, around here. Something sort of in the general genre of adventuress-y sorceress robes seems like the right place to start but the details are lost on me. I'm going for, like, smart, practical, not inexplicably courting boob sunburn, and also I know if my dad were here he'd be fretting about everything and telling me to get the arrow-proofing but maybe that can be added after the fact on something otherwise right?"

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The saleslady seems surprised at first, and then snickers.  "Not inexplicably courting boob sunburn.  Nice.  I'll have to remember that one."  She gives Bella a measured look and seems to think for a bit.  "Smart, practical... hm.  Can you clarify what you intend to say to people with full chest coverage?  Do you want to look unapproachable, or like you're deliberately contradicting the current fashion trends in upper chest exposure for women, or do you have a personal preference about chests only and would still be interested in looking seductive in other ways?"

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"I don't want to look, like, unfriendly? But I am not on the market, I'm concentrating on my education, people should not hit on me."

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"Hm.  Something of a contradiction in terms.  Too many people take a lack of visible unfriendliness as an opportunity, hence an invitation.  I can try to thread the needle.(*)  Does your outfit need to match that sword?  Are you planning to wear that guildplate openly?  I was going to ask about whether the arrow-proofing aspect indicated an interest in Adventurer style, but a sword and guildplate already locks down that aspect if it's your intent.  For that matter, are you interested in clothing suitable for actual dungeoneering as well as being fashionable?  Self-cleaning, default dark colors?"

(*) Lit. "Blast an egg from a thousand paces."

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"I didn't even know outfits matching swords was a thing, but yes, I suppose it does. I wasn't going to prominently display the guildplate for any non-tax-related purpose unless there's some reason I should. Uh, suitability for dungeoneering is good but I do mostly plan to be wearing my wardrobe to school."

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It's hard to make out what Bella's budget is by looking at her.  The sword looks expensive, or at least the hilt and scabbard and belt look platinum-tier at least.  The worn clothing might fit well in a businesslike way on an older and larger Adventurer... borrowed, probably.  Also, the girl is very hard to read, but shows no sign of having achieved this through having high-level Social Skills of her own.  Her tinplate is very recent and may not reflect her actual level.

Might as well try and give her what she asked for, in the highest-grade version in stock, and see how she reacts.

The saleslady assembles an outfit.  Sensible pants and boots with full leg coverage between them, alternating between treated giant-magical-snake-skin for the main panels and high-flexibility gormsilk fabric around the joints.  Matching snakeskin shirt, barely loose enough to not look skintight, also with gormsilk around the elbows and shoulders.  Matching nonenchanted gormsilk gloves.  Matching lightly enchanted spidersilk skirt that goes over the pants and comes down to around Bella's knees.

Enchantments on everything except the gloves and skirt:  Minor durability, slow self-cleaning, rapid sweat vanishing, minor temperature regulation for moderate climates only, minor shrinking-expansion on the snakeskin panels so as to fit anyone with Bella's rough body shape, and chromashift to serve as either fashionwear or dungeonwear (the saleslady recommends white-blue to signal practicality and not signal approachability, it will look a little standoffish but that can't really be helped).  The spidersilk skirt has self-cleaning and chromashift only.  The gormsilk gloves aren't enchanted of themselves, they're too small for that to be done cheaply, but they're gormsilk so they can have their color changed by anyone who knows this simple tier-1 tailoring spell that uses half a mana, which most tailors will be happy to use for five copper or so.

It can all be Bella's for just five platinum!

The saleslady makes no mention of trying to sell Bella more than one outfit; it probably hasn't occurred to her that Bella would want more than one of an outfit with self-cleaning and chromashift.

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Bella is coming around to the idea of not owning more than one outfit because if she has one outfit that is suitable for all occasions she NEVER HAS TO BE LIED TO BY A CLOTHING SALESPERSON AGAIN. "Do the snakes have 『Qualia』? Do the spiders or the, uh, gorms? Are gorms an animal?"

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Giant magical snakes of this particular species allegedly don't have 『Qualia』.  Neither do giant magical spiders of this species.  All of this silk was ethically obtained by buying it from the gorms themselves.

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Bella wants to try it on and see if it's comfy. Finding that it is comfy and she can move around in it okay she wants to know if the gloves are essential, she isn't used to them.

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The gloves are fashion-gloves, like the overskirt, not to be worn into dungeons.  Gloves that let you disable traps with no loss of dexterity are a higher tier of adventuring gear than this outfit belongs to.  Bella could in principle wear the skirt but not the gloves; it would look slightly odd but not in a standout way.  She could also wear neither the skirt nor the gloves, but then she'll look more like an Adventurer attending school, and less like a platinum-tier wealthy sorceress with an intended profession that requires her to visit dungeons to level her Skills.

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"I think I'll leave the gloves, I think I'd leave them off most of the time anyway and that'd be a waste of money."

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The saleslady shrugs.  "No discount.  It's meant as part of a matching set.  And if you don't mind my saying so, I'm quite sure that you will encounter future situations where you wish you had the option of matching gloves."

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"In what situation will I wish I had the option of matching gloves?"

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"Oh, any kind of formal gathering, where it is presumed that you have put effort into speccing an outfit that says something about you.  Leaving off the gloves in those circumstances would stand out quite visibly.  These are nonenchanted gloves in any case - should you require a replacement it will come to a few gold, nothing worth fretting over."

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"And if I tell you I have not been invited to any formal gathering I suppose I know what you'd say about that. Ugh. Haroun, eyeball* the price for me -?"

*lit. to nudge with one's foot

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Haroun shrugs with moderate helplessness.  "Seems pricey but not pricier than I'd expect.  I'm noticing some amount of internal pressure from wanting the shopping trip to be done, so you might not want to trust me fully on that."

(The saleslady snickers again.)

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"Yeah I'm also really sick of clothes shopping. This is good for going to school, walking into a dungeon, attending some wholly hypothetical fancy party? I don't have to think about clothes again for a few years at least if I have other stuff on my mind?" she asks the saleslady.

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"A... few years... might be... pushing it..."  The saleslady is trying hard to hold back laughter, or rather, allowing herself to appear as doing such.  "I expect it will last you through becoming better-acquainted with this country and learning the fashions in more detail."

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"Ugh. Fine. I will buy that for five platinum because I still need school supplies and it's been all morning." She fishes out five platinum. She asks how to work the chroma-shift and if the saleslady happens to know where she could learn the spell for the gloves herself.

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The saleslady looks a little puzzled.  "Chromashift works via intent reading, of course.  Just focus your will and intention, the same as with any other enchantment that responds to intent.  As for the spell, I expect any Skill merchant for tailors would have the corresponding booklet, though you will of course need the prerequisite Skills for 『Light Magic』 and 『Earth Magic』 and some prerequisite experience with fabric."

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"Actually, could you just write down the incantation?" Haroun says.  "Yes, I know that's not enough to acquire the Skill, but I can get a better idea via inspection of what it would take to cast."

The saleslady writes down the incantation.

And then there's the issue of will and intent.  Does that work for Bella?  Haroun isn't sufficiently familiar with intent enchantments, or Bella's Skill, to have a very solid guess.  He does have an idea, though.

"Is this incantation compatible with the enchantments?" Haroun says.  "I mean, what would happen if somebody used the incantation to try to shift chroma, instead of the intent enchantment?"

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The saleslady gives Haroun an even more puzzled look, but tests out the incantation on one of her boots, which obligingly shifts color.  "Seems so," she says.  She's not going to question the bizarre request if it leads to the sale getting done.

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"Thank you." She glances at the incantation before pocketing it. (This does all have pockets, right? It had better have pockets.)

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Platinum-tier adventurer outfits run more towards having unobtrusive patches of slightly-differently-colored material to which correspondingly enchanted items may be attached for rapid access (magical Velcro).

Still, there are four visible external flap-guarded pockets on the pants - thighs and shins - which give the outfit a more military air to an Earther's eye.  These pockets are hard for casual pickpockets to undo quickly, but you shouldn't keep gold in there; they will not resist serious Thief skills.  Or she could wear the skirt, which will cover the top set of pockets, and then it will be slightly harder for a Thief to reach up under her skirt without her noticing.  Still far from impossible, though.

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The money is staying in her backpack with its bewildering zippers and in her shoes (she moved it when she changed into the boots). She will wear the skirt out anyway.

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"You said something about us still needing to shop for school supplies?  You already seem to have a notebook, and a quite interesting pen that I suspect is superior to the local kind."

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"The pen won't last forever. Neither, obviously, will the notebook, and I like having separate ones for all my classes, which does mean I have several in here but they have math notes and stuff in them. Plus I don't know if I'll need anything else. You have textbooks."

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"...huh.  Your pen seemed so obviously, uh, enchanted, that I forgot it might not have self-repair or a self-refilling ink supply.  Textbooks we'll know about when we know which classes you want to take, and meanwhile I'd expect any Professor to have a spare on hand for you to borrow.  We can go grab some additional notebooks, though."

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"The pen is cheap. I bought a box of like fifty of them for what I'd translate as about a copper based on the loaf of bread benchmark. You use it till it's out of ink or dried out and chuck it and get the next one. I have three and don't remember how long I've been using them, and two pencils."

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Off to what Haroun hopes will be the last leg of shopping!

School-supply stores in Elhom IV don't currently offer spiral-bound notebooks, but the notebooks they do have open easily and close easily.  Bella can find a nib pen that writes fairly easily, doesn't spill easily, and has infinite ink and self-repair, for three gold.  Pencils don't seem to exist yet.

After Bella explains why pencils, Haroun asks somebody at a school supply store to "just write down the incantations" for spells for erasing, highlighting, bookmarking, and, why not, that spell for searching inside notebooks he's been drooling over since forever.  Searching inside a notebook would take more mana than Bella currently can cast with safely, but erasing and highlighting and bookmarking look easy enough.

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Ooh, that's neat. The nib will take getting used to but there's probably a skill for it.

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Haroun just looks a bit at the notebook from which Bella has casually erased text, in the out-of-the-way corner where they stepped to try it.  It's Bella's second time doing it, which means that this time she just used Eval.  For Haroun it's going to be more like a year before he can do that - less if he focused purely on getting that one Skill and nothing else.  Pretty soon she'll be able to search inside books too, at her present rate of mana-capacity growth.

"No offense and I don't mean to make light of your overall situation, but some days I envy you and wonder what it would take to get shanghaied for my own cross-country trip."

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"It's convenient. I didn't start out knowing how convenient it ought to be, of course, you'd probably enjoy it more than I do."

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Off to the main Cowcorn academic campus!

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"So how do I enroll in things?"

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"We've got several options here.  We could have you go into the main office and purchase an undiscounted buffet pass, and then you could talk to a student advisor about classes that suit you, though I worry that conversation might be a bit odd.  Uh, the alternatives are that you talk to Magister Sting or Professor Nightstar and tell them honestly about your actual situation, in which case I'd expect they could recommend substantially better classes and what order to take them in, if they didn't just seize you and tutor you."

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"Metaphorically?"

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"...mostly metaphorically.  Well, Magister Sting would respect your free will but make some strong arguments, unless of course she decided that it was better for your development and fitting-in if you attended regular classes, which sounds very much like something she might do.  Professor Nightstar would... successfully persuade you, if he decided that's what you ought to be doing."

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"This is taking into account the thing where some social skills don't work on me?"

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"That's a fascinating point.  And yet even so, I am inclined to say yes.  To all appearances Professor Nightstar argues using only points that are relentlessly logical and reasonable; it is just that the inevitable conclusion of Reason always happens to be whatever it is that Professor Nightstar wants you to believe."

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"Can I have an example?"

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"I was going to spec myself as a teaching professor like my grandfather.  Professor Nightstar thought I should be a research professor.  This is of course the correct conclusion, since my talents do in fact suit me to make a greater contribution to the world's welfare by pushing the frontiers of knowledge first and foremost, and focusing on helping my students second."

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"Huh. And this happens a lot?"

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"It's sort of the way Professor Nightstar is on a fundamental level, to the point where I couldn't really count up a number of occasions aside from saying, 'Well, this is the total amount of time I've spent in Professor Nightstar's presence.'"

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"Did he at some point convince you this wasn't concerning?"

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"Of course it's concerning.  However, in the long run, we have very little alternative to following the lines of Reason wherever they may lead us.  If they sometimes lead us astray, we have the option of becoming better at Reason or giving up on Reason, and the second course is not going to lead us less astray.  Reason, indeed, is distinguished mainly by being the only process of thought in which it is at all more difficult for people to come up with persuasive wrong answers.  You could even say that Reason is defined as precisely those rules of argument which impose the greatest gap of difficulty between persuasively arguing for wrong answers and persuasively arguing for right answers.  Thus, it is not possible to do any better than believing Professor Nightstar when he says something that sounds very reasonable and persuasive."

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"And what does your model of Professor Nightstar think of the fact that I am currently leaning towards talking to Magister Sting instead precisely because he's managed to instill this impression?"

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"That Haroun Pevers is not doing a very good job of presenting the case in favor of thinking reasonably and letting other people argue with you about what is reasonable, even given the fact that some people have greater Skill than others at coming up with persuasive arguments that sound reasonable; because the whole point is that those Skills correlate with what figuring out what is reasonable."

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"Surrrre. I'm gonna talk to Magister Sting. I don't think my thing protects me against people just choosing their words really well."

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"Right, sooo... on the flip side of things, Magister Sting seems, like, thirteen times likelier to let you make your own mistakes and learn from them, where Professor Nightstar would tell you plainly and in advance why you were being an idiot so that you'd learn to trust him next time."

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"...and you think she'd do this even at the, uh, macro-scale?"

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"Not at literally the biggest scale.  But if she considered trying to talk you out of losing, I don't know, one city somewhere, I can very easily visualize her worrying that this would constitute micro-managing you and you'd never learn to make your own decisions and take responsibility for monitoring yourself, if she told you in advance what you were about to do wrong, because then the only Skill you're really acquiring is asking Magister Sting about things, and what happens then after a dragon eats her.  And I'm not really doing a good job of presenting her case, any more than I'm doing a good job of presenting Professor Nightstar's case, it's just, you've got to remember that she has tier-4 Teaching Skills and that can be both a good thing and a bad thing."

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"Well, it sounds to me like it's possible to go from listening to Sting to listening to Nightstar more easily than it is to make the other transition."

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"I would've strongly recommended talking to both if only it didn't double the fricking risk.  I definitely feel like I wouldn't have ended up as this whole me, without knowing both of them."

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"Yeah. I think I'm going to start with Sting. It sounds like Nightstar has strong opinions about what people like me should be doing and that's appealing on a certain level but combines very badly with an unbroken track record of convincing people he's right all the time, especially if I consider the advice of my acquaintance of indeterminate gender."

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"Things I should say before you make a final decision on trusting Magister Sting, as opposed to, I dunno, trying to flounder your way through classes first for a while... um, Magister Sting is old, wacky to the point it might hypothetically annoy some people, and is very much the sort to have secret connections to High Elves and elder dragons even though she certainly gives off the impression that she wouldn't talk to them without your agreement."

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"Okay. New plan, I try to lie low and see if Sting is like 'hey an elf told me a funny story'."

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"Huh.  Now that I'm thinking about it explicitly, lying low probably means getting a different backpack for school, and then consciously avoiding Sting and Nightstar even so.  I estimate something like an independent 40% chance for each of them that they figure out what you are, after 10 seconds of conversation, for reasons I don't even understand."

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"Okay, where do I buy a backpack, and is it an awful idea to do amateur sewing to get the zipper onto it? I am confident I can do that in a way that will be functional but it will probably be ugly. I'm hoping the zipper will confuse thieves."

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"See, Magister Sting would have talked to a High Elf who'd seen a zipper three thousand years ago, and Professor Nightstar would look at a zipper and deduce that it implied a manufacturing process that worked well for making hundreds of precisely identical tiny things, someplace that found that cheaper to do than applying a corresponding enchantment."

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"So I should cover the zipper with a flap or something."

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Simple solutions to complex problems.  "Yeah, we can probably have that done in (a couple of minutes) if you're willing to pay gold to a high-tier tailor."

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"That alone'll make the whole backpack pass muster?"

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"So far as I know.  The problem is that Magister Sting and Professor Nightstar are both smarter than I am.  It's hard to spend lots of useful effort being paranoid about people who are fundamentally going to come at the problem from a different angle than I'm imagining them to use."

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"Well, let's get it flapped." She gets it flapped, main compartment zipper and pocket both.

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And heading back towards the campus!  Haroun's student medallion gets him in through the main gate of the academy, and he's enough of an honor student that they're willing to take his word about escorting Bella straight to the primary registration office.

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Bella would like a buffet pass please and thank you.

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Of course, ma'am, that will be three gold after you finish filling out all these forms.  City of residence?  Previous job experiences?  They'd also like to check her Skill set.  Would she like to poke herself using that sword, or use this sterile dagger here?

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She lives in Cowcorn at this address, has a tinplate, and uh "can we skip that? It gets funny results on me and I hate dealing with people's reactions."

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No, ma'am, we cannot skip that.

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"Can you avoid reacting to it very much or telling people who might react very much?"

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"I will obviously need to escalate to higher admin if you have problematic Skills," says the man at the counter.  In a slightly gentler voice, "They have been known to be understanding about circumstances but such things do need monitoring."

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"It's not like that, nothing, uh, problematic."

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"Then there should be no problem!  Blood please?"

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"Are you in fact going to keep it to yourself and not freak out given that you will reveal no problematic Skills?"

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"I'm sorry, but without knowing what freakout-inducer(*) I am about to experience, I cannot say what our policy is on it.  Also, generally speaking, the results of your regular Skill tests will form part of your student record, accessible to senior administrative personnel and any professors with whom you have purchased an Upgraded relationship."

(*) Lit. "a Slime got into my pants"

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"Suppose it is not the case that you have a policy on it."

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"Then it would still be part of your student record.  Ah, if you have Skills one might associate with, say, fugitive royalty - if it is actually that serious, not just for you but for our institution - I could escalate directly to the Chancellor and she could be the only one to look at your Skill record, then seal the problematic portion of the results so that nobody else can see it.  I really would not advise having her called over unless you are very sure it is that serious, however."

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"Look, the problem is that my Skills don't actually show up."

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"Pardon me?"

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"They don't show up. My skill print has lots of question marks and no skills on it even though I can demonstrate the ability to do things, and this makes people freak out, and I hate it, and I'm really sorry if this makes it hard to demonstrate the efficacy of your institution but I can't make the skills show up, and I just want to avoid the freaking out and people treating me like a freak, I'm so tired of it, please work with me here, I can prove it if you want but I don't want it posted in the public square."

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"I see, and I believe I understand.  I will add a strongly worded note to your file that you consider your anomalous Skill report highly confidential and that you do not like the way people react to it when they learn.  However, I do need to verify the matter."  He holds out the dagger again.

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Fingerprick. Drop of blood.

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Man inspects report.  "Thank you for telling me in advance what I'd see here.  It's a lot less freakout-inducing that way.  What Skills do you have?"

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"Obviously it's a little harder to figure out for sure by dead reckoning -" She glances at Haroun.

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"In terms of relevant common Skills, Bella excels at a very wide range of spellcraft but is temporarily low on MP for at least the next few weeks.  It's not much of an exaggeration to say that Bella's current Skills let her learn just about anything from common tier-1 schools; but, at least for the moment, she's strongly restricted in what instant and upkeep costs she can pay.  Hopefully a temporary condition.  No combat Skills that she wouldn't want to just start over from, no relevant crafting Skills that would fit with our methods."

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Hm.  The man makes more notations on his report, then looks up at Bella again.  "That's not going to be an easy initial class schedule for you to work out.  Do you want an appointment with a student advisor in a couple of days, or would you like to pay two silver to upgrade to an immediate appointment with an elite student advisor?"

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"I'll pay for the immediate one."

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Three gold is accepted.  Bella is now officially a Cowcorn student and can attend any class she pleases.

Elite student advisor time!  She's dressed in Adventurer chic, but with an overskirt.

"Hm," she says after a quick perusal of Bella's current brief student file.  "Very interesting!  What's your planned spec?  I'm guessing the Archmagus sequence, from your breadth of magical talents?"

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"Can you tell me what that entails?"

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A slightly puzzled look.  "An Archmagus, also called an Omni-Magus, pursues a wide range of synergies across many higher tiers of magic, such that they must have firm foundations in as many tier-1 schools as possible.  The pathway puts a heavy emphasis on learning speed and mental flexibility, not just breadth of innate talent; not being able to focus all your attention on only a few schools means you had better be able to learn fast.  Being able to make frequent dungeon runs is very helpful for being able to level the Skills quickly enough, as is having sufficient MP to practice spellcasting frequently."

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"That sounds like a good template at least. Can I look at a course catalog?"

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Have a moderately hefty course catalog!

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"Bella was previously homeschooled by a teacher of questionable orthodoxy," Haroun adds.  "I think one of her priorities is probably going to be a high-speed refresher course for all the basics, aimed at somebody who's competent at spellcasting but might have gotten, er, someone's personal views on the theory behind the casting.  She doesn't need to be argued out of anything, she just needs to be made acquainted with the mainstream viewpoint and is happy to hear about that.  Do we have anything like that for her?"

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"Oh, good heavens.  Not in the standard catalog.  I'd recommend a double-Upgraded relationship with Associate Professor Idhem, I believe she has space for personal tutoring and she should be competent for a rapid review of basics."

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"That sounds good to me," says Bella, paging through the courses and reading their names as fast as she can.

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"Thoughts on combat classes?  You need a class on conventional swordplay at some point, but I don't know if it's your priority for your next sessions."

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"Uh, I wonder if I could get that on the side, squeeze in a lesson or two when I have time and practice on my own instead of doing a whole class?"

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A slight frown.  "Perhaps you could find an elite student to briefly tutor you in swordplay during off-hours," says the woman, in a tone that makes it very clear that Bella would be much wiser to take proper lessons instead.  "I do not believe any of our registered instructors would be willing to take an Upgraded or double-Upgraded student for a combat-critical course without an appropriate time commitment."

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"I'm not in a specific hurry to learn fencing, if student tutoring doesn't get me anywhere I can pick up a proper class later."

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Haroun is puzzled until he remembers that Bella's world works differently from his.  "Well, sorry to state the obvious, but as I'm sure you already know, of course, if you're willing to spend the money, you can make much faster progress in acquiring Skills, using a tutor with both high levels of that Skill and advanced Teaching Skills, compared to trying to level the Skill on your own," Haroun says.

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"- right. Uh, let's see how much other coursework I'm piling on."

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The course catalog is organized in two halves; the first half lists courses by number, showing lengthy descriptions of a very wide range of learnable Skill packages and knowledges.  The second half is sequences of courses for particular tiered-Skill hierarchies and Class specs, accompanied by terse sentences summarizing what's in each numbered course, with a full course description findable by flipping back to the numbered courses and full descriptions.  Very often, of course, the terse sentence is something like "『Cold Magic』Lv 2 -> Lv 4".

Cowcorn is broadly a magic-focused academy, but Bella will find that it also teaches a wide variety of Skills and knowledges that people in Earth would have been left to helplessly pick up on their own: there are classes on how to find a job in an unfamiliar city, how to negotiate your starting salary, or how to handle a wide range of unpleasant social circumstances that commonly crop up in Adventurer teams.

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How often and for how long do these meet?

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Haroun's world does not have a concept of "semesters", possibly because once you get to tier-2 Teaching Skills it is a proposterous thought that everything you want to teach takes a fixed amount of time.  Classes are generally focused around producing a level-up in particular Skills or Skill packages, or preparing for another class that wants you to know something or have practiced something in preparation for a Skillup.  This rarely takes longer than a month, and some classes are as short as three days.  There's likewise no concept of keeping a full schedule in order to assemble 120 academic credits in order to get a bachelor's degree so that you can work as a secretary somewhere that has decided to demand bachelor's degrees.  You just need to perform repeated optimization problems in order to figure out which new classes you're going to start this week, such that, when you finish them, next week's scheduling problem will be manageable!  Thankfully there's a Skill for that.  Also, somewhere behind the scenes, there's a Machine Elf Thing with a by now completely insane operator, which helps time all the courses such that the student body's individual optimization problems will be mostly fairly solvable.

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...gosh. Okay. She gets out one of her new notebooks and starts marking out a prospective first month of classes. Some of the social stuff would be useful and she will sprinkle in some of those for acclimation purposes, and given everything will fit in a sword class in after all, but mostly piles on introductory magic.

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Haroun looks over her shoulder.  "Spellcraft-wise, I think you'll mostly want to run through things with Associate Professor Idhem first," he mentions.  "Most of these classes are aimed at people who don't have nearly your facility with incantations and are trying to acquire the understanding they require for that facility.  Crafting classes... hm, not sure how you do at those, but that seems much more like a thing where the standard introductory classes would make sense for you?"

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"I'm also happy to help you accomplish your goals, or help you figure out what they are," mentions the elite student advisor.

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"I appreciate that, Haroun just has more context. Uh, I think those'd be more standard, yeah, though I don't see a near term need for me to be doing, uh, smithing - what did you have in mind there, enchanting stuff? Glass and jewelry would be fun but I want to focus on useful... tailoring isn't that expensive to hire out..." She looks for more crafting stuff in the coursebook.

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The paths section has, for example, an entire Class pathway that leads up to crafting extremely-high-powered enchanted-alchemical consumable magical arrows for use by mithrilplate adventurers to one-shot younger dragons.  In the numbered section there are courses that teach tier-2 crafting spells that can help raise fortress walls in days if not quite overnight, providing you have Earth Magic and Fire Magic and Water Magic as prerequisites, and MP of at least 200.  Checking the earliest prerequisites of long pathways will reveal that a lot of things start with Runic reading and inscription; but it's not clear if Bella can just read Runes and write them down again.  She has a feeling she might be able to do that, based on how writing Lictic worked out for her.  If she wants to create powerful items, she should also probably take at least the basic smithing classes; lots of things rely on being able to put metal into the shape you want it to be.

Bella will probably still have to overcome some degree of culture shock about how long it's supposed to take her to learn basic smithery... namely, on the order of a month, assuming she doesn't pay for Upgraded versions of anything.  There are Teachers here and students get Skills, and the entire economy is based on how far that lets people get along the pathway of personally building an entire television set from scratch in a world that has not started making standardized screws.

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"What's the course dropping policy?"

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The main policy is "no refunds"?  There's no concept of getting a poor grade.  There are no grades.  There are only Skillups.  If a student wants to not show up at a class, what are they going to do, force her there at swordpoint?  One supposes it would be courteous to tell any Professors with an Upgraded relationship if you're not planning to show up for class anymore.

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What an enlightened policy. She'll throw in a runes class to her prospective schedule.

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"If you're interested in spending money to save time, I would recommend an Upgraded class with Professor Nehalem instead," says the elite student advisor.  "That will let you finish in roughly half the time, which will simplify -" followed by some coursework rearrangement that sounds eerie coming from a human instead of a computer.  At the end of it Bella has closer to 3 weeks of classes instead of a month, if she's willing to spend an extra 2 gold.

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Hmmm, Bella doesn't actually want to spend money to save time on Runes because it might be she needs to spend only thirty seconds on Runes, but the rest of the rearrangement appeals and it's within her means. She is persuaded.