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diagon alley
Salmons and Carmines in Potterverse
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"What do you need boy robes for?" inquires Madam Malkins.

"I'm sometimes a boy," the girl explains.

"What?"

"Look—"

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"Boy!"

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The boy just walking into the shop has not been paying attention to this exchange!

He looks like he's probably a first year. He is, however, wearing robes, so he's probably not muggleborn.

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"I'll be with you in a moment, dear," the witch says. "You are complicating this, but alright."

The boy waves at the newcomer—

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—and is no longer a boy.

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The newcomer pauses, just about to wave, and then… proceeds to wave, somewhat bemused.

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"Now hold still! I'm already going to have to do this twice, don't make me do it more times."

The girl obeys and holds still, and various tape measures start examining her.

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The boy waits curiously.

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"Hi! I'm Sadde," the girl calls. Madam Malkins shoots her a sharp look but given that she didn't actually move doesn't say anything.

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"Anthony," he responds. "I've never met a metamorphmagus before."

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"I hadn't ever met a magical person other than myself before, so I think you're still winning."

"Hold still!" chides Madam Malkins.

"Sorry."

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"… Oh? Huh. Even rarer to be a muggle-raised metamorphmagus."

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"Muggleborn, even."

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"I'm personally not muggleborn," he says. "That was probably clear though."

He gestures to the robes he's wearing.

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"Yes, it was. Where're your parents?"

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"Mum left me to go robe shopping while she catches up with some people."

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"Oh. My mum's buying Potions ingredients for me."

"Can you turn into a boy now, dear?" asks Madam Malkins.

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"Sure."

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"I don't think I've ever heard of someone swapping gender. Not as a metamorphmagus, at least."

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"Swapping gender happens amongst muggles," she explains, "but I hadn't ever heard of someone who did it magically before."

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Pause. "How do they do it? Without magic, I mean."

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"Makeup. Clothes. Mannerisms."

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"Oh," he says. "That's– sort of a shame?"

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"Kinda is, yeah. People who don't change and are just one thing all the time can do some kinds of surgery but it's not very good."

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"Surgery with– like, knives and stuff, okay, I don't really know why I'm asking about this."

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"Not exactly knives, more like scalpels, which are really tiny—" She pinches the air to show how tiny, and Madam Malkins chides her again.

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"Surgery with tiny knives." He grimaces a bit. "I haven't really learnt much about muggles."

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"How do magical people do it?"

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"We go to healers. I'm not sure about for – changing gender, I don't recall having heard about it before."

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"I'm done, dear," says Madam Malkins, and she starts busying herself with charming robes to the correct size.

The girl is a girl again, and says, "Well, muggles don't really have healers, we do what we can with what we have. It's a lot, for the record."

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"You have – doctors, right? I guess they train to do surgery?"

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"Yes, they spend several years training and getting very specialised."

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Nod. "So – you only found out about all this recently?"

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"Well, I was a metamorphmagus since always. So I kinda knew some kind of magic must exist. But what that kind was, exactly, yeah."

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"… I admit I don't know much about metamorphmagi but – were you just a really well-behaved small child?"

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She smirks. "No."

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"So. Did they just get the Obliviators in a bunch of times, or…?"

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"—the who now?"

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"Muggleborn, right. There are some people who, uh. 'Clean up' after magical accidents, make sure there aren't people claiming to have seen wizards?"

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"...how. Exactly. Do they do that."

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"They don't go killing people or anything," he hastens to add. "They… use a spell to make people forget about it."

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"They do what?" she shrieks.

"Miss Woods! Control yourself!" Madam Malkins says sharply.

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"… I'm guessing you don't actually need it repeated," he says, quietly.

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"No. No I don't." She finds somewhere to sit. And sits.

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"I don't actually know they did it for you, just –"

He shrugs.

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"Oh, oh no. They. They definitely—this explains so much—"

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"Sorry to be the bearer of bad news."

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She buries her face in her hands.

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Awkward.

Any chance he can get measured for his robes perhaps maybe?

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Madam Malkins is making Sadde's, and it's taking a bit longer than normal because, two sets.

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But eventually she's done, and hands them to the girl. "Sorry for the delay, dear, it's your turn."

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"It's fine," he says, getting up and moving where indicated.

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She busies herself with telling magic tape measures to measure him.

Sadde looks up at him. She had not been crying. Just really—angry. "How—casual are they about it?"

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"I'm not sure how to answer that," says Anthony. "They don't want muggles to know about magic?"

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"Why?"

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"– Okay so you don't know about the statute of secrecy? It's part of why you can't do magic outside of school."

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"I know it's a thing. I don't know why it's a thing."

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"There is… a lot of history involved? It's been around since the late sixteen hundreds, started in response to– witch trials?"

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"...were witch trials, like. Actually. Dangerous. To magic people?"

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"If someone doesn't have their wand and they get tied up and lit on fire? Uh. Yeah?"

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"Why wouldn't they have their wand?"

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"Because if muggles find out that pointy sticks are used by magic people then they will probably try to snap pointy sticks and also kidnap people in the night while they're sleeping," he responds. "Which was three hundred years ago so I'm not sure the statute has much of a place anymore but I'm pretty sure it did."

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"Why would muggles even do that, though. Why weren't magical people, like. Fixing people. Curing diseases. Solving old age."

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"… I am not actually from that time in history? So I have no idea. But it's not immediately obvious the statute was totally groundless, some of the reasons made sense, they just weren't really strong enough."

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She sighs. "I'm sorry. I know it's not your fault."

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"– My mum campaigns against it, does research into things we could do without it, other solutions to the problem, things like that."

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"—I like her."

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"Me too," he agrees. "I think it's a good cause."

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"Does she want help with that?"

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"Uh, possibly? But it's like half a week until we go, isn't it?"

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"Well yeah. But like, I'm a muggleborn. That could help, maybe. Or from within Hogwarts! We could start a generation of people who think that, really, muggles aren't all that different from us!"

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"… In terms of, like, value as people, right?"

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"Yeah, what else?"

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"I just mean, you're probably going to get people saying 'but they don't have magic'. I think that's most of what they focus on."

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"Y'all don't have spaceships and you don't see me rubbing this in your faces."

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"I am not actually someone who thinks muggles are lesser or anything," he says. "And I think they might say that we could take spaceships if we wanted them. Or something."

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"Then I'm not rubbing the fact that magical people are crazy and don't want spaceships in their faces either," she retorts, grinning. "Besides, they gotta make up their minds, either Middle Ages muggles were a threat to them from whom they must hide or they can take twentieth-century muggle technology from their hands, can't have both."

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"Yeah," he says, probably agreeing.

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"Well, okay, I am going to kick this Statute of Secrecy in the butt and get rid of it." Pause. "...can lost memories be restored?"

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"… I don't think so, but I'm not sure."

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"Well. Then it's even more important that we get rid of the Statute," she says fervently.

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"I mean, yeah, but the main bit is all the magical convenience stuff. It's sort of creepy to remove memories, feels like a breach – of rights or something, but that's… a smaller issue?"

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"It's a breach of identity! I am my memories!"

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"… Yes," he says. "So am I. But. I'm pretty sure I'm still me if I lose ten minutes of memories, and I'm still me if I lose a day of memories, and all the way back down to – probably months or years? Depending?"

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"I'm not. I'm eleven, if I lose a month of memories I'm super different, if I lose a whole year that's someone else!"

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"I mean, go back three years and I'm quite different, but I'm still recognizably acting similarly – but that's different from like a week ago where it's still mostly me just not having spoken to you and whatever?"

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"I wasn't acting similarly three years ago. Not at all. I was eight. I was really different."

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He would shrug but tape-measure.

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"Weren't you? Like. You were eight. I was playing with dolls, then."

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"I mean, it was three years ago. I was helping with small chores and visiting my mum as she did protests and trying to listen to everyone I could and waiting until I could do magic and reading."

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"I like you."

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"Most people don't just say that," he responds, slightly amused.

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"Wanna start counting the ways I'm unlike most people?"

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"I've got three – four – nope, five so far."

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"...care to share them?"

"You can sit and wait, now, dear," says Madam Malkins.

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"Thanks," he says, moving to do as such.

To Sadde: "You're a witch – wizard? – anyway that was point two as well, and a metamorphmagus, and what I said just now, people wouldn't usually say that, and you also care about the statute." Pause. "Add a sixth, the memories thing, I think you're a bit more – definite about that than most people."

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"I'm also a muggleborn, which is unlike most magical people," she adds.

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"– And we could be pedantic and say looking female and having brown hair is unlike most people, use combinations of attributes."

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She giggles. "Fine, I'm not that special then I guess."

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"I hardly even know you yet," he says. "– What did you say your name was again?"

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"Sadde."

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"Is that a common muggle name? I've never heard of it."

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"I wouldn't be surprised if I were the only person alive with that name."

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"There's another point then."

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"Yep. I wonder how many you'll find before we get to Hogwarts."

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"Well you've probably never flown a broom, but that comes under being muggleborn and not having gone to Hogwarts yet."

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"And it's not, like, something about me, it's just an event."

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"… But so is being named something?"

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"I mean it's, like, something that'll change. I haven't eaten, I dunno, cricket, but that could change, it's not a fact about me like my name is."

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"So if you had ridden a broom, that'd count as a thing about you?"

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"No! You know what I mean!"

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"It has to be something that shows something about you? Uh, how much do you read, it sounds like you read a lot."

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Madam Malkins shows up again. "Here you go," she says, offering Anthony his robes before moving on to another arriving student, this one a few years older than the two of them.

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"Yes to both! Reading's fun, I'm gonna get all the books from the library."

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"Thank you," says Anthony to Madam Malkins, taking them. To Sadde: "You know there are quite a few books, right? And you only have seven years?"

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"Oh, fine, I don't have to read the ones about animals."

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"And there's a section that's restricted, you need a pass or a good reason or something to get one from there."

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"I can figure out how to get in if I need to," she declares. "Anyway, where to next?" Because of course now they're Friends and they're Shopping Together.

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"I should probably let my mum know that I've got my robes but – she shouldn't be far."

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"Okay! And I guess I should tell leave my robes with mine—what do you still need to buy?"

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"Potion ingredients but I think I might need a parent for some of it, not sure, and – ummm." Pause. "Mum has the list?"

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"Then maybe we can get your list and meet up with my mum at the store."

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"I think that is a good idea!" he agrees.

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"Lead the way, then."

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He does! "So, when did you get your letter?"

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"A week ago. You? You're a pureblood, right, you've known forever."

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"But I got my letter about the same time, yeah. How'd you take it?"

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"My letter arrived in the hands of the Deputy Headmaster, so it was. Pretty great to finally, erm. Figure it out. All of it. Or, well, I guess not all, he never mentioned Obliviators."

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"I mean. There are a lot of magical people and places and things, so he probably couldn't have covered it all."

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"Yes but we did tell him about the Hulk incidents."

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"… Hulk incidents?"

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"So you know how your magic acts—or used to act—up when you felt strong emotions?"

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"Yeah? – Oh, is that the bad behaviour you were talking about?"

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"Kinda. I was—bullied a lot. I'm a metamorphmagus. Sometimes those things... went together."

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"– Ah." Pause. "I don't know what 'Hulk' means, though."

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"Oh, right. It's—do you guys have comic books?"

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"Uh, not under that name at least?"

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She explains the concept in broad strokes, "and there's one comic book character who becomes a huge green muscled person when he gets angry."

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"That's. Um."

He pauses, not seeming to know what to say, and then – "Oh, there's my mum, be back in a sec."

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She waits.

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He goes over to her, waits politely so he can talk to her, and points at Sadde partway through the conversation, and then takes the list off her and waves.

"Got it," he says, showing it to Sadde.

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"She's not coming with?"

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"I can ask for her to? But I probably don't need her, Diagon Alley is pretty safe if you don't stray down any dark alleys."

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"Yeah, we've been told, but mum wants to know about magic as much as I do, so she's shopping with me."

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"Mm," he agrees. "It makes sense to be careful anyway, since you're not used to magic."

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"I'm used to metamorphmagic," she says, and a snake's tongue slithers out of her mouth. "Ssssss."

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"– You mmmight want to be careful doing that," he says, "but cool."

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"Why?" she asks with a regular tongue.

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"Some people have a bit of a thing against snakes and parselmouths – people who speak parseltongue, snake language – and that might be a bit close to it."

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"Snakes are sapient?"

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"… I don't know but I don't plan on eating one anytime soon anyway?"

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"But if snakes are sapient—and don't look it—what about other animals?!"

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"… I am not a huge fan of meat and don't eat that much of it anyway so it's not a huge problem for me."

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"Well, I don't care about food much, but that's beyond the point! Snakes eat other animals! And are eaten by other animals!"

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Pause. "They are but I don't think it's very easy for you to stop that, on a large scale? And other wizards don't seem to care about it as much as you so I don't think they'd really want to help."

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"Yes and that's a problem—I don't even like animals—or they don't seem to like me—but if animals are people—"

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"… It's not really one you can solve right now. You have – four? – days until you go to school."

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She grimaces. "I can at least figure out whether other animals are in fact sentient!"

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"While at school? Yeah. But – I'm not sure if they are sentient or not, it might just be a magic thing. I'm not sure people have looked into it."

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"Well, how does this—parseltongue thing—work anyway?"

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"Very rarely people have it? I think it's inherited, they just have the ability to talk to snakes even though they didn't learn it separately, it's kinda Slytherin?"

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"Slytherin being... one of the Hogwarts Houses? Why is it? And do the snakes respond? Do they actually hold conversations or?"

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"Slytherin is one of the houses, yeah, with a – patron animal, house animal or whatever – of a snake, green. So that's why it's Slytherin. I have no idea about conversations, I don't know if they're smart or just respond to basic questions or what."

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"Okay... We need to figure that out, have you gotten your books yet?"

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"Nope – uh, mum's got my wand and clothes, still need to go to the apothecary and bookshop and get a telescope – I think mum said she'd get that and the scales – then probably an owl? … Probably also with mum."

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"So just potions and books, then?"

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"Think so?"

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Onwards to the apothecary, then.

"I didn't get my wand yet. Wanted to leave it for last."

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"Any particular reason?"

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"'Cause it'd be tempting and we're not allowed to use it before school."

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"Ah." Pause. "Well yes but it's a law, I'd expect that to be discouraging enough?"

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"It's not a law they do anything about here in Diagon Alley. Not if you can look like an adult like, oh, certain metamorphmagi can."

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"… I think it might be a magical thing, based off who owns the wand, not whether you look like an adult," he says. "I've heard that people do sometimes get warnings at home?"

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"The Deputy Headmaster said it was about doing magic while underage while unsupervised by an adult."

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"Huh," he says. "They might have changed it recently or maybe rumours just aren't perfect."

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"I had to badger him a lot before he explained that was how it actually worked, and then he said I'd probably go to his House."

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"Ah. I'd be curious what 'unsupervised' means, more specifically."

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"I think it's pretty much just 'around.'"

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"– So I'm not sure if the Deputy Headmaster told you and it's kinda public knowledge and it's probably something you should know, but, uh, we had a war?"

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"Um. He didn't tell, no."

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"It ended – not that long ago, main guy on the opposing side seems to be gone for good. Might mean there's some prejudice against Slytherin, more so than usual."

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"'Main guy'? Like, a president or something? And what's Slytherin got to do with it?"

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"It was more like a civil war. People don't like to say his name, there were at least rumours there was a curse on saying it, and he was– very Slytherin, in the stereotypical way, and a lot of his followers were too."

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"Wwwhhhhhat exactly is the stereotypical way of being 'very Slytherin'?"

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Anthony pauses, thinking, then says, almost as if he has a checklist: "Dark. Having some weird link to snakes of some kind. Typically hate muggleborns, or anyone who isn't pureblood. Sort of – uncaring about what people feel. Use bribery and extortion to get what they want, and they want to rule the world for the sake of having power."

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"Why do people think that?"

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"… I mean, partially because of the same guy – he was gone for a while and resurfaced just recently – but also the house traits are cunning and ambition, so you tend to get quite a few from there who try, uh, less horrible versions of that?"

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"Cunning and ambition isn't dark!"

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Pause. "Mmh…?"

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"So that shouldn't be a stereotype!"

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"… I mean, if you have a group of people and it turns out a tenth of them joined 'the dark side', the group is probably going to get a stereotype?"

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"A tenth of Slytherins become evil?"

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"No, but he had–" Anthony pauses, looks around, and then continues in a lower voice: "He had like thirty direct followers in his inner sanctum, they all had their families indoctrinated, pureblood Slytherin families have high numbers of Slytherins who then try to indoctrinate others, and there are large bits of the population who were sympathetic to his goal of killing off muggles and non-purebloods?"

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"Well I'm gonna become a Slytherin and fix this."

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Pause. "It sounds like they need someone like that, yeah, but depending on who else is there you might be at risk of – not literally – being eaten alive. Seeing as you're muggleborn."

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"Yes well whatever I'm still gonna do it, and I'm gonna be better than all of them. I'll show them. I'll show them all!"

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"I think you're supposed to add a maniacal laugh there."

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"I'm eleven I can't do a proper maniacal laugh. I've tried."

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He laughs. "I'm pretty sure I can't either. But I don't plan on taking over Slytherin, so that's okay."

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"Oh, no, Slytherin is just the start, then there'll be the world!"

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"… If you go doing that I probably want more details on what you mean by 'fix'."

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"Well, you know, make them not be evil nor hate muggleborns and half-bloods?"

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"The whole world, meaning the whole magical world? And – 'evil' is – like it's really clear in my head what's evil but people seem to struggle following that and have different opinions so there is probably something going on."

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"Hurting other people when they don't want to be hurt seems like it covers a lot!"

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"It does, and a lot of people fail at that, but that is – probably a good first step, if 'hurting' is clear?"

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"Yeah and I'm eleven, I don't need to have it figured out yet."

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He shrugs. "No, but – you know, it's probably not a two-step process or anything."

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"Of course it's not, and if I thought it was and got into Slytherin anyway I'd be pretty sure whatever puts people in Houses has no idea what it's doing!"

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"We're not supposed to be told – what does it, that is – until we get there."

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"My point was just that any good, self-respecting Slytherin would know that's not a two-step process."

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And here's the apothecary where a woman dressed like a muggle is browsing ingredients.

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"– Is that your mum?"

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"Yep! Hi mum, I met a new person, I like him."

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The mum looks at the girl then at the boy. "Hello. I am Laura, it's a pleasure to meet you."

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"Anthony," he responds, smiling politely. "It's a pleasure to meet you too."

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"He's nice and he knows a lot of stuff and I haven't even interrogated him much yet!"

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"Forgive my daughter for any interrogation you may have already suffered."

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"It's fine," he says. "I don't usually get to explain quite so much to people unfamiliar with the context."

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"Oh, hey, Anthony, where do you live?"

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"Just outside a small city in the south-west? I don't know if you'll have heard of it – Wells?"

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"Wow you live even farther away than we do. How'd you get here?—was it by brooms, that'd be so cool if it was brooms."

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"It was by floo!" he says. "– You might not know what that is, uh, throw powder into a fireplace and arrive at the destination you say?"

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Laura raises her eyebrows. "A fireplace?"

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"… I don't think it helps if I say 'it's magic', does it?"

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"I wasn't questioning the ability so much as wondering about the method. How exactly does that work, you throw powder in a fireplace and then...?"

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"You go up to a connected fireplace, throw down Floo powder into it, wait for the flames to go green, then walk into it and say where you want to go, you spend a short time in inconvenient transit and then you arrive in a fireplace at your destination?"

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"And there's a fireplace people usually arrive in here?"

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"Yeah, it comes out at the Leaky Cauldron? You might've come through it on your way in."

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"Coool! So after we're done can I visit?"

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"Sadde, don't just invite yourself over to other people's places."

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"I – you can probably have a quick look, at least? I'll have to check with mum, but since I don't think you've been to a wizard's house before…?"

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"I haven't! You're the first wizard I've, like, actually really spoken to. Other than Professor Flitwick."

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He nods. "Mum's not usually too fussy about when guests come around, she keeps the house sort of tidy as a general principle, so I think it'll be okay? And she likes talking to people from different backgrounds, especially since she's not really used to talking to muggles?"

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"Okay! So after wands is Anthony's house!"

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Sigh.

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Relay notices this and says to Laura, sort of tentatively, "Mum will probably want to talk to you too, if that's okay?"

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She smiles. "If she would like to talk, I would be delighted to meet her."

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Smile. "It's only a sort of small house, we live actually in the city itself – smallest city in Britain, did I mention? – but we're towards the edge and have a few friends nearby, small greenhouse out back."

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"Do you have magical plants?"

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"A couple? But they're not super interesting ones."

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"What do they do?"

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(Laura will continue finding ingredients, then.)

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Anthony has a look around too, and – "I think one is used in a potion for curing warts? There are a few other potion ingredients, one that changes colour when it's going to rain?"

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"Cool!"

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Laura has been here a while so now she has found all her ingredients. "Do you want me to show you where the first-year ingredients are?" she asks Anthony.

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"That would be useful, please!"

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She does, then. There are many ingredients, but now that she knows where they are they are easily found.

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And then – "Is it okay if we go to the bookshop next?"

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"Of course, that's where we were headed next anyway."

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"Cool!" he says. "Uh, I think they have quite a few books in store. Something tells me you might want to be prepared when she, um, maybe tries to buy a library?"

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Laura chuckles. "I've known my daughter since she was born, I know how she feels about books."

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Smile.

Off to the bookshop, then.

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The bookshop: has books.

Sadde is ecstatic.

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Anthony likes books too! And he can actually get some to learn spells from and practise and things!

He has seen a lot of them before, though he has not read them all.

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"What's 'The Monster Book of Monsters'?" she wonders, prompted by a plaque mentioning it.

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"I think it's Care of Magical Creatures…?" Pause. "Oh, it was – yeah, that was a book that tried to eat you for opening it, got removed from stock."

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"It tried to eat you?"

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"Yeah, if you opened it. It was sort of a creature itself, I think, you had to do something to calm it down? Supposed to be some sort of – teaching method, I guess."

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"On the one hand that is sort of cool; on the other I'm pretty sure it would eat me."

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"It's only small. I don't think it'd actually be able to, um, totally eat you."

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"Animals in general hate me, I'm pretty sure an animal book about animals would double hate me. Or hate me squared." 

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"Huh," he says. "I'm usually pretty good with animals?"

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"When I got Richard—my owl—all the other owls hated me. But they hated him, too, so he liked me."

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"Aww," responds Anthony. "I – am bad at coming up with names. Hopefully I'll get inspiration when I go get one."

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"Did you get an owl, too? I named mine after Richard Feynman."

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"I haven't gone yet!" he responds. "I expect I'll probably get an owl, though." Pause. "I'm not sure who Richard Feynman is."

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"He's a muggle scientist who was really smart and cool."

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"Ah," says Anthony. "There are – different parts of science, right? I haven't studied it much but I think there's stuff about gravity and, uh, the Sun, then stuff about animals and plants?"

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"—yes, there are different parts, he dealt with very very very small things and very very very high energies."

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"Ah," responds Anthony. "We really don't get taught much of that."

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"I figured! It's no wonder you haven't put anyone on the Moon."

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"I'm still not sure anybody is trying," he responds.

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"That's a silly thing not to try! I mean, the Moon is there, why wouldn't you put people on it?"

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"… There are constellations really far away, too, and you could make the same argument for those?"

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"Yep, and guess where muggles totally do want to go?"

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"… Into stars?"

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"Well, near the stars, anyway. And we could, like, harvest them!"

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"For, what, light?"

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"No, energy! All the energy on Earth comes from the Sun, so we could get more stars to have more energy."

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"For… what sorts of things? I'm unclear on what uses of energy you have in mind."

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"Eeeverything? Pretty much everything, yes. Growing plants, powering electrical stuff, or space travel itself—everything."

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Anthony pauses in his gathering of ingredients. "Those sound like… the first, a thing that's quite easy to do with magic, the second, a thing I have no idea about, and the third – surely there are easier ways than draining a sun?"

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"Yes but my point is that we currently use very little of our sun and we could end pretty much all scarcity while harvesting suns, there's no good reason for them to exist so we can just drain them and use their energy better."

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"I'm pretty sure the sun does… things…"

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"Like what?"

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"Heating the planet, growing plants – but I guess you're replacing that second one – and I think it's needed for humans to live, and, uh, I don't know, there might be some sort of magic that needs it?"

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"We can heat the planet much more efficiently than the Sun can, like more than ninety nine percent of the energy it produces goes nowhere."

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"… It seems really weird to be casually talking about destroying the sun so we can – do it better?"

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She giggles.

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"That's my daughter, yes."

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"Does she talk about destroying the sun a lot?"

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"Amongst other things."

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"The moon?"

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"She doesn't think we need live on a planet."

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"… What else? Small boxes floating around?"

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"Spaceships! Flying arcologies!"

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"… I don't think I know that word. And I'm not sure spaceships are very big, are they?"

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"Well, not yet, but they could be. That's what you drain suns for."

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"People haven't actually done this yet, have they?"

(He finishes putting stuff into a bag.)

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"No, we don't have technology for that yet."

She doesn't, there are so many books.

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"I'll go pay for these, then," he comments. In case that prompts her to do same.

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"Mum I want these," she asserts.

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She smiles, shakes her head, and takes those.

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Fortunately it does not take long to buy the books.

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No it doesn't!

"Next is...?"

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"One of the things on your list, or I go fetch mum or something?"

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"Only thing left in my list is my wand, I think."

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"How about I go look for a familiar and then we meet up – outside Gringotts or something?"

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"Okay!"

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"See you later," he says, then off he goes.

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And later, Sadde and her mum are waiting in front of the bank. The former is grinning at her wand but not doing anything with it.

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Anthony is along shortly! With an owl! And his mum!

"Hey," he says to Sadde.

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"Hi, Anthony! Hi Anthony's mum! Hi Anthony's owl!"

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Hoot, says Richard from his cage.

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"Hello."

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"Hello," says Anthony's mother, smiling. "Scylla."

She offers her hand.

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It is shook.

"I understand my daughter has expressed a desire to spend some time at your place."

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"Anthony explained this to me," she nods. "It should be allowable, though you may need one of us to explain a few unfamiliar things."

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Anthony smiles at Sadde.

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"Having unfamiliar things explained is the whole point!"

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"Well yes, but it wouldn't be wise if you tried touching something unfamiliar. Most things should be safe, but I expect there are hazards to certain items that we're used to? The plants in the greenhouse, for example, some of those can poison you if you touch them."

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"I won't touch anything without asking, promise!"

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"It should be fine, then," she smiles. "Anthony can probably explain things if you'd want to ask him."

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"Cool! So can I go?"

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"Sure, honey, but you shouldn't stay there all afternoon, we don't want to impose."

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"Are you finished with all your shopping?"

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"We are, yes."

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"We'll probably go by floo, if that's okay? I understand Anthony's mentioned it, at least briefly…"

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"He did, it's gonna be so cool!"

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"It can be quite disorienting at first, but it's perfectly safe."

She shows them the way to the public floo system and explains about the steps involved in the mechanism – grab a handful of floo powder, throw it into the flames and wait for them to change colour, step into them, and then enunciate the name of your destination clearly.

She tells them the floo address for the house.

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Anthony goes first! The flames go green and he steps into them quite casually and departs.

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Oooh cool green flames.

"Be back here by five?"

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"Have fun, baby."

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Into the flames she goes!

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"Do you not also want to visit?" asks Scylla of Laura.

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"Thank you for the invitation, but no, I should bring these things" gesture at the things shopped for "home and deal with a couple of other things."

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"It was nice to meet you, anyway," responds Scylla with a smile, and then she's gone also.

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Where Anthony and Sadde are in the sitting room! It is not huge, but it does have some nice furniture and bookshelves and a small silver badger statue on one of the tables.

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And Sadde will look at everything and touch nothing.

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"Most of the stuff in this room should be pretty safe!" says Anthony, noticing this. "Mum should be able to repair it if you break anything, but try to be careful anyway…"

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Scylla quietly makes her way out of the room, taking Anthony's owl with her.

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"Is anything here magical?"

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"Most of it was made with magic," he says. "Actually magic like does things, there are a few things! The badger will move if you poke it, the clock can be set to say the hour on the hour, uh…" He looks around.

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She pokes the badger.

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It moves! It walks around briefly and then settles in a similar position on another part of the table.

"I think mum has a glowing necklace in the drawer, somewhere, but we should probably ask her if we want to see that…" Pause. "Do you know about the Wireless?"

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"The what?"

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"The Wizarding Wireless," he says, pointing towards… what looks rather like an old radio.

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"That radio?"

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"Uh, yeah? I think?"

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"What about it?"

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"I didn't know that you would recognize it for sure?" he says. "It picks up different channels, at least, from radios, I'm pretty sure?"

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"Makes sense that it would, it'd be weird to have wizarding radio for muggles."

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"… I think there were actually a few times where the stations have leaked."

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"Reeeeally? What happened?"

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"I don't know," he says. "I think they just had a few people talking about some bizarre hoax, and then we caught wind of it and decided to be more careful with our transmissions?"

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"Oh. That's kinda boring." Pause. "But better than anyone having their memories erased."

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"It is possible some people had memories erased – the Obliviators do quite a lot of things – but I don't think so."

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"Ugh. Distract me with shiny magic."

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He shows her the clock! It has some fancy animation on the hour if you set it up to do that – which they usually don't, because it sounds like it could be distracting – but they were fashionable to get a few years ago in his mum's social circle – and then he shows her the hallway and what it looks like outside so she knows what the outside of the house looks like…

The stairs seem like they go quite a ways up, to quite a few different floors, if she looks up while they're in the hall.

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She looks at everything and wants to see all the magic things.

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Anthony shows her a bunch of them! The house is indeed rather large while simultaneously not being much larger than the other houses around when he shows her outside.

And then: greenhouse!

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She is: quite envious of the house. Not that she'll say anything.

Greenhouse!

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It has a few plants in it. Anthony shows her the ones he mentioned earlier and a few more. (The rain-predicting plant is a dark green right now, indicating it will rain within the next few days but not for at least one.)

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So! Exciting!

Does he have one of the kinda sentient plants?

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He does not, he doesn't think! He knows mandrakes are sorta-kinda sentient and he doesn't have any of those, and there are some trees (they come in smaller sizes) that can respond to poking and stuff, but… no, he's pretty sure they don't have any like that.

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Do the non-sentient ones hate Sadde, too?

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The non-sentient ones don't really do anything in response to Sadde, no – some of them are in fact like very nonmagical plants, not able to move of their own accord – so it would appear not?

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"This is so cool. Do you do other things with magic?"

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"Like… cooking? And transportation? Cleaning?"

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"Yeah! Or, are there magic games?"

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"Sports and things? We have quidditch."

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"I meant more like card games or whatever, what's quidditch?"

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"Quidditch is… possibly the main sport that people play? There's the quaffle, that's the main ball, and people throw it between them and through some hoops and dodge some attack balls called bludgers, and they play it on brooms?"

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"...a sport on flying brooms that is the coolest thing I wanna play!"

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"Hogwarts has quidditch teams?" he suggests. "There are different positions you can play in – oh, there's also the seeker, who catches the snitch, which is a golden flying small ball-thing that nets you points and ends the game?"

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"Ends the game? So it doesn't end before, or is it a lower bound, or...?"

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"I think it's literally the end? There have been matches that go on for a few days before, I think, but they're rare."

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"...erm. Why."

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"… Why have there been matches that go on for days, or why is it the end, or…?"

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"Why is it the end, that sounds like a terrible idea."

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"I didn't design it? But it's not awful, it's not like it causes anything seriously bad, just weird?"

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"It's not, like, awful the way malaria is awful, but it's bad game design."

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Shrug. "I think a few sports are like that?"

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"Like which?"

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"… I'm not a huge sports fan but they mostly seem to be, uh, hit spheres at each other or things for, uh, reasons?"

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"Yeah but they always end after the same amount of time."

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He shrugs. "Lots of people seem to be fans of it."

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"What other magical sports are there?"

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"Well, it depends on what you call a sport, because, well, there's – wizard's chess, I'm guessing you know the nonmagical one?"

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"I know the nonmagical one, how does that one work?"

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"It's, I think, pretty similar but the pieces move themselves and you can tell them where to go?"

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"Well, sounds cool, but that's not a sport anyway."

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Pause.  "Dueling?"

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"That's not a sport—well I guess it is but..."

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"Do you mean, like, broom racing? Or hockey?"

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"Yeah, those."

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"They both exist," he says. "There's a broom race through – I think it's Sweden? – every year, international thing."

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"Nothing else with balls, though?"

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"– There's quodpot? It's, sort of, an American quidditch thing?"

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"How's it work?"

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"I, uh, think it's just – with an exploding ball? Called a quod?"

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"Well but what do you do with it? And do people play it here?"

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"I don't think people really do? You might get a couple of people who've done it before but it's not done much, at least, and – you put it through a hoop? Or into a basket. … Or something." Shrug. "I don't know."

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"Well I'll figure it out and learn how to play."

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"Someone from school might have played it, if you ask around when we get there."

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"Yeah, I will. Does Hogwarts not have sports?"

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"Quidditch!" he says. "House teams."

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"Oh, cool! What House do you think you'll be in?"

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"I'm not totally sure! I don't know how they sort, exactly, but – house traits, I think I'd be Hufflepuff."

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"I'd probably be a Slytherin or a Ravenclaw."

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"If you're planning on taking over the world, yeah, that sounds pretty Slytherin."

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She grins. "I just wanna make everything better for everyone!"

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"Still sounds Slytherin. Like if you wanted to read a bunch of books to improve on other people's tries, that'd be some Ravenclaw too."

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"I wanna do that, too!"

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"We'll see what house wins out, then."

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"Slytherin, probably."

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"Have fun fixing them, then."

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"I will!"

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Then they can go back into the house and Anthony asks if Sadde would like anything to eat.

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Sure! Magic food!

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Well actually his dad cooked some soup last night and so they can have some of that, or crisps if she wants them, since supermarkets are quite convenient and his mum likes to go shopping from time to time…

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What, really? No magic anything?

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There are chocolate frogs if she wants one of those? The soup is heated up magically, too, does that count?

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Ooh chocolate frogs sound fun! And being heated up magically counts, sure.

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Chocolate frogs! They hop like frogs, observe, yay.

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"I like these frogs. And ooh what's this—" She finds a card with an old wizard on it: "Salazar Slytherin."

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"Founder, of Hogwarts. From the name you might have guessed Slytherin."

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"Why is he moving."

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"… I don't know what you mean?"

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"He's moving! Look at it!"

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"– Oh, do muggle pictures not do that?" Pause. "I suppose they mustn't."

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"What is it doing! Is it alive? Is it a person?"

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"It's not an enchanted portrait – it's not alive nor a person."

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"—are enchanted portraits alive and people?"

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"I don't think so, but they can talk and act like the person they're a portrait of…"

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"O-kay, erm. Are they exactly like the person? Like is the person dead at all if they're a portrait?"

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"… You mean, can you have a portrait at the same time as the original person? Yeah, you can have them together, I'm pretty sure."

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"No but I mean are they—okay, I guess if you can do that—it's weird, are they the same person or what?"

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"Like I say, I'm pretty sure it's not a person. Just. A portrait. But that doesn't sound like– what you want."

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"Well if it talks how is it not a person?"

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"… Same way the clock talks and isn't a person? But a bit more advanced?"

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"The clock talks? ...do portraits just, like. Say the same things all the time, or what? Can you talk to them?"

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"– Didn't I mention that you can make the clock say the hour, on the hour? I think it's just like that, but – the portraits respond to speech instead of time passing?"

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"Well but there's a difference between saying things and talking."

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"… It's probably more complicated to make the magic thing respond in a way that makes sense?"

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"Sure but—do portraits talk or just respond, is what I'm asking."

Permalink Mark Unread

"… Talk? If you just mean speak without being spoken to? They talk with other portraits, sometimes…"

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"Okay so how are they not people."

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"… I'm not saying you should treat them badly or anything? I'm just pretty sure they're magic pictures that are made using magic, not – you know, animals but smarter."

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"Why would them being magic pictures made using magic not make them people?"

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"… I'm sort of confused here. They're made, and it's using magic, and I'm pretty sure they just have them act like the person, they're not copying the person or– storing them in a picture, or anything?"

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"Okay but that doesn't mean they're not a person, even if they're not the same person."

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"I don't think magic usually makes people, though. I'm not saying it's totally impossible – but I'm pretty sure if they were people, it'd be the sort of thing people know? They're not exactly badly treated, they're usually considered antiques and stuff, but I'd expect to know."

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"Okay, but you still haven't told me how they're not people, since they talk and stuff."

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"Sort of… how if you were writing something down on paper, I could write back like I was someone, but that someone isn't actually a person? It's just someone I'm pretending to be? It's that but magic and automatic, I think."

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"Right but you were a person, even if you were pretending to be someone else, and you'd be doing something only people can do, which is talk, so there's someone doing a thing there."

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"… The person who produced the magic for the portrait, is what I was thinking…" Blink. "This is not actually, you know, what it is – I haven't asked, it hasn't made me ask this, I just treat them, uh, as I would treat a magical portrait? Try to be polite, they vary in personality, I'm related to a couple of them?"

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"Do you have one here?"

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"Um – no, I – maybe? My great-uncle has a portrait here but he's not usually actually – in the frame…"

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"I wanna meet him."

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"I'll see if he's there and if he's not mum can probably floo-call my aunt – he might be with them?"

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"Yes that works. Can't you, like, knock on their portrait or something?"

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"… Not that I know of, at least? Some portraits might have that enchanted in, that might be a thing people can do?"

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"Okay."

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So he goes to check and the great-uncle is in fact not in the portrait!

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His mum, however, is perfectly happy to go have a chat with her sister to ask if he's up for visiting, and apparently he is!

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So she waits for him to show up!

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And then: he is in the portrait! He looks quite but not super old and looks out of it and says, "Good afternoon."

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"Hi. I'm Sadde."

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"Harold Knox. I understand you had some questions?"

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"Yeah. Are you—well, erm. It's a bit rude."

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He seems to consider her, and then says, "I doubt I will be too offended to respond, and I retain the right to refuse to answer, but you may feel free to ask the question."

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"Are you a person?"

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"… Harold Knox, yes."

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"I mean, do you have a personality, and memories, and desires, and preferences? Do you learn things, get bored, feel happy and sad and all that?"

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"Yes," he responds. "But I'm also in a portrait."

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"Do you... like being in a portrait? Would you rather not be in a portrait?"

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"It could be more convenient, in some ways, yes."

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"Would it be less convenient in others?"

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"It's quite handy to be able to move to my other portraits from here," he says. "Not enough I'd pick it over being able to walk around and use floo, but enough that it's not as bad as it could be."

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"...okay. Okay I'm gonna—figure out a way to fix that."

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"… I'm not sure how you plan on going about that," he says, looking slightly amused. "And have you never spoken to a portrait before?"

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"No, I'm muggleborn, and I don't have a plan yet I'm eleven and school starts next month but I'll figure it out."

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"Ah."

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"Do you think it would be better if people stopped making portraits?"

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"I don't think so."

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"Why not?"

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"Because I rather think I'd prefer being in a portrait over nothing at all. In addition to the fact it'd be a horrible fuss."

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Anthony raises an eyebrow.

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"Would it be better if people made portraits and figured out how to make portraits walk out of their frames?"

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"For us, most likely yes. It'd be a rather large change, though…"

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"Yes!"

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"You may also have noticed I'm a portrait. I didn't study portraiture, and I don't know if it is in fact feasible to allow us to walk out of our frames."

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"I can do anything I set my mind to!"

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"… You can certainly try," is the response from the man in the portrait. "Was that all?"

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"Yes I think so. Thank you!"

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Off he goes.

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"I, uh – hope he wasn't too… brusque?"

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"Hmm? No, he was fine, why?"

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"He's just – it's nothing, really, he's been pretty good lately."

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"...okay? Is he usually rude or something?"

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"… To muggleborns, a little."

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"Oh. Right, prejudice."

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"Yeah," he sighs. "Sorry."

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"I can deal. Dealt all my life."

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"Oh?" he asks. "– Oh, right. Ah."

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She shrugs. "I'm gonna fix Slytherin and I'm gonna make portraits able to leave their frames and I'm gonna figure out how to make everyone immortal."

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"Which are very ambitious goals and if you achieve them I'm sure lots of people will be thankful." Pause. "But don't go into anything dark."

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"'Dark'?"

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Pause. "Like that war I told you about. The guy who led it – he was dark, killed people and, uh, Unforgivables. Things like that."

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"And Unforgivables are...?"

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"… Right, uh, they–" Pause. "It's– uh. The Killing Curse, Imperius Curse and Cruciatus Curse." He looks around, possibly checking that nobody's listening, and says, "First one is, I think, clear, second is – you can control people to do what you tell them to. Third is for torture."

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"Oh. Dark is evil stuff. And there are—exactly three evil spells?"

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"Evil stuff, yes, but – dark is a sort of specific category? You can be evil without using dark spells, you could, I don't know, levitate someone off a cliff, and there are other dark spells, but they're the Unforgivables."

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"I guess it makes sense that spells that are only for hurting other people would be unforgivable..."

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"There are some other spells, like – a really uncontrolled fire, which is dark but it's not an Unforgivable. And probably others I don't know because I'm too young."

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She nods. "Well I won't do anything dark to make people immortal, that would defeat the whole point."

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"Okay," he says. "Well, that's good."

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She grins.

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He smiles back at her.

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And soon enough Sadde has to go.

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But Anthony makes sure she knows his floo address! Then realises maybe her house isn't connected to the floo network and she maybe can't contact him anyway.

She's got an owl, though. His name, in case she didn't know, is spelled with a K at the start of Knox.

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Cool! Train is next week anyway, they'll see each other soon.

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Yes! But still.

He's not sure he got her last name?

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Woods. It's Woods.

Not that it matters, literally no one else has her first name.

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Okay, well, it was nice to meet her.

He'll see her at the train next week.

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Next week a boy and his mother are at King's Cross, moving towards a place that doesn't exist.

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So is another boy! And his mother!

Then when nobody's looking, they both walk through a wall.

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This boy hugs his mother, says 'bye, and he, his owl, and his stuff all go through the wall, too.

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On the other side of which, is: a train!

… Also Anthony. Anthony is there with an owl and some luggage and his mother.

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Sadde walks up to them. "Hi!"

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Anthony turns around. "– Hi! How've you been?"

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"Alright! Read all the books! At least a bit of all the books anyway!"

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"… I have not read a bit of all the books! I have read a bit of some of the books?"

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"I read all of the Charms book and the Transfiguration book and a bit of all the other books."

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"I read a few bits of the Potions books? And some of Charms, and about the introduction to Transfiguration, and a bit of the others…"

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"I like reading a lot, and this was literally the most interesting thing around."

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"… Even the theory bits? That have about three short words per hundred?"

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"Yeah."

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"Good for you, I guess."

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He beams. "Oh, hi, Anthony's mum."

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"Good morning, Sadde," she responds, smiling politely. "Looking forward to school?"

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"Yeah! It's gonna be loads of fun."

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"It's good you're so enthusiastic. Now – the both of you should probably get on-board."

Anthony's mum eyes Sadde's luggage. "Do you need help with that?"

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"No, it's fine. Let's board?"

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Anthony nods and then quickly hugs his mum.

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"I will see you soon," she says. "You'll be fine. Remember to write!"

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Nod.

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"Bye!"

He pulls Anthony along.

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Anthony grabs his stuff and follows, then waves at his mum just as they get on.

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They're early enough they find an empty compartment. Sadde puts his stuff in the appropriate places.

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Anthony does likewise! Then takes a seat and holds the door open in case anyone wants to join them.

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No one does, as of yet.

"Can we do magic here?"

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"– I think it's technically allowed on the train, but not really recommended?"

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Oh look he's got his wand now. "I'm gonna try something."

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"… Did you memorise a spell from one of the books?"

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"Of course I did," he laughs. "Gimme something to float."

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"… Chocolate frog?"

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"You have one on you?"

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Anthony grabs a bag, opens it, and: "Here you are."

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So he grabs it, moves his wand, and says, "Wingardium Leviosa!"

The frog flies from his hand—

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And hits a girl who was just about to walk in on the forehead, making her drop onto the floor with a thunk and an "Ow!"

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"Oh, are you – okay?"

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She rubs her forehead. "Ow. I'm fine. What was that?"

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"Sorry, was practising magic and, er, accidentally sent a chocolate frog at you."

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"Chocolate frog?" She looks for it and finds it, the little pentagonal box. "Ooh, can I have it?" She gets up and starts pulling her luggage inside.

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"Pretty sure it's supposed to go up," says Anthony.

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"The frog?"

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"– Yeah, the spell was meant to make it go up, don't worry. Sure, you can have the frog."

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She beams, takes a seat, and starts opening the little candy. "I'm Willow! I'm a muggleborn."

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"I'm Sadde! I'm a muggleborn, too."

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"Anthony! Not a muggleborn."

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"Were you trying to do magic? We can do magic here?"

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"Yeah, we can! I failed, it was supposed to float a thing, I dunno what I did wrong."

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"Huh."

She unwraps the chocolate frog and—

—it jumps, of course. "Eep!" she says, throwing the box away.

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Anthony catches it. "– So I'm guessing you haven't had one of these."

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"No! Muggleborn!"

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"Right, but – so's Sadde and he'd had one!"

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"Yes, at your place."

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"But you didn't jump when you saw it moving! Or, not that much – okay, never mind."

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"So you'd met? ...and can I have the frog?"

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"Yes to both!" He smiles. "We met in Madam Malkin's."

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She takes the frog and omnoms.

"That's cool! I didn't meet anyone. Well, now I met you two."

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"There's a card of a famous magical person inside the box," he says.

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"Ooh." She grabs it. Merlin. "Cool!—why is he moving."

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"Magical photos do that."

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"And magical portraits do, too, except they're also people."

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"Really?"

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"Probably! Ish. They seem like people. I haven't actually spoken to – I mean, I don't know much about portraits."

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"I talked to one and he said he was a person."

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"Right, but, if they're designed to act like people then presumably they wouldn't just say they weren't people."

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"Well if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, I think it's safe to think it is in fact a duck!"

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"I mean, okay, but if it's a duck in a photo it's still a duck… but in a photo."

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"It doesn't matter where they are, the important part about being a person isn't having a body it's having a mind."

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"– That's not what I meant? I mean, a photo is just of a duck and it's on repeat and the duck isn't actually thinking or anything, and I thought portraits were sorta like that but… a bit more interactive."

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"Yeah but after you get interactive enough it's pretty much a person, isn't it?"

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(Willow munches on her frog.)

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Anthony shrugs. "It depends on why you're classing it a person? If it's 'should I treat them well and give them respect like a person' then clearly the answer is yes, you should treat them well."

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"No, it's 'I should respect their stated desires and include them in my decisions about what courses of action bring the most good in the world.'"

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"Is this back to the taking over the world thing? Or – does this also apply to the less enthusiastic of us?"

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"Both?"

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"You wanna take over the world?"

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"Well, it sounds bad when you say it like that!"

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"I'm pretty sure you phrased it like that."

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"Yeah but I didn't say it like that."

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Anthony rolls his eyes.

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"I wanna solve all problems ever for everyone," he explains.

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"Oh. Ambitious."

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"That's what I thought!" says Anthony. "Plus it's probably one of the least – evil? – reasons to take over the world, so that's nice."

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"Well the other reasons don't even make any sense."

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"I mean, if you just want a bunch of power, it makes sense you'd want to own the world."

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"But why would you want that? Power's only good if you're gonna use it for something."

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Anthony shrugs. "Some people like it for the sake of telling people what to do, or something?"

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"Like I said, other reasons that don't make sense."

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Shrug. "They might well think 'helping people' is a reason that doesn't make sense."

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"Yeah but they're wrong, that's what governments are for."

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"For helping people? … Yeah, I guess?"

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"What else would they be for?"

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(Willow continues watching the conversation in fascination. The frog has long since been consumed.)

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"I mean, it might just be to make people think there's, y'know, the government looking over things, but yeah, probably they help people, most of the time?"

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"Well it was invented in the first place because people aren't good at coordinating."

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"Yeah," he shrugs.

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"So I'm gonna be the master coordinator slash king of the world and fix every problem ever. Starting with how Slytherins hate muggleborns."

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"They do? Why?"

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"It's… it's more stuck-up traditionalist purebloods? Who hate muggleborns? Which kinda… is a lot of the Slytherins, yeah."

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"But why?"

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"… They think you have unclean blood?"

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"What."

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"… I don't know how to say it without it all sounding ridiculous? They think wizards are inherently better than muggles, they think muggleborns come from bad backgrounds, so they don't like muggleborns because they think they're inferior?"

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"...are we any worse at magic?"

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"I don't think so?"

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"So... why? And where does muggleborn magic even come from?"

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"Like I said I don't know how to say it without it being ridiculous? And I don't know, I don't think anyone's really looked into it."

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"Well then say it being ridiculous."

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"That was me trying to be ridiculous – they honestly think you have impure blood because you're from a muggle family, and muggles aren't magic so they don't have the 'right blood', but purebloods do, so they think you're not as good literally because your bloodline isn't magical."

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"Well that's silly. If we are just as good at magic why do they think that?"

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"Ridiculous prejudice?"

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"Okay yeah that's very ridiculous."

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"But I'm gonna fix it, so."

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"Good luck. Might have to wait for some of the older generations to die out."

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"I'm gonna create a conspiracy of younger years."

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"If it's all the younger years it might not be all that much of a conspiracy. And I meant adults, anyway, not like sixth-years."

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"But the younger years will become adults. And, like, if I convince all of them then that means all adults graduating Hogwarts will be good to go."

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"I mean, I don't think you'll get all of them, but sure."

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"Will too!"

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"Even the ones indoctrinated since birth?"

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"Yeah!"

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"Okay, yeah, good luck with that."

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"You're gonna be my Hufflepuff liaison.*

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"You're gonna be a Hufflepuff?"

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"Probably?" he shrugs. "It's not guaranteed, I might be Ravenclaw? I'm probably not really cunning, though, or – uh, Gryffindorish?"

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"Well I'll be a Ravenclaw, I'm sure! ...maybe Hufflepuff. But probably Ravenclaw!"

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"You'll probably do well in either, if you think it's right for you."

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"I don't really know which is right, Professor Flitwick didn't want to tell me much about the Houses."

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"Did he give you an overview of them?"

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"Sorta. Very vague."

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"Gryffindors are brave and loyal, Ravenclaws are book-smart and curious, Hufflepuffs are hard-working and form tight groups, Slytherins are ambitious and cunning?"

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"Yep, that vague."

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"I mean, it's four groups that are supposed to fit literally everyone."

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She shrugs. "So I think I'm a Ravenclaw."

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"And I think I'm either a Slytherin or a Ravenclaw."

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"And I'm probably a Hufflepuff or maybe I guess a Ravenclaw."

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And then a young girl is at the door to the compartment, looking a bit nervous but holding her head high.

"Uh. H-hi."

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"Hi! Are you gonna be a Gryffindor?"

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"P– I don't think so?"

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"Aw. So we still need a Gryffindor to complete the set."

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"… Are you three n-not first years, then?"

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"– No, we are," says Anthony, smiling. "Uh, I'm Anthony."

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She rubs at her eye. "Thea."

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"Come in! Train's about to start going, I think."

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"I'm Willow, he's Sadde."

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In she comes! She has some luggage with her which she puts under the chair and then she looks around a bit and after a moment she sits.

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"I think I'm gonna be a Slytherin, she thinks she's gonna be a Ravenclaw, he thinks he's gonna be a Hufflepuff, we need a Gryffindor to complete the set."

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"I'm, uh, not actually sure."

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"Do you know the overview, the house traits?"

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"I, yeah? I don't know, though – I'm not really very sneaky? Books are good but they're not everything?"

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"'Sneaky'? Slytherin isn't about being 'sneaky'!"

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"… I thought it was mostly about cunning?"

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"And ambition, yeah."

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"… So it's about being, I dunno, a politician?"

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"Kinda! Not exactly but almost."

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"Right," she says. "It's– it's probably still not for me."

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"Never had the urge to take over the world?"

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"… Not, uh, not really." Pause. "Maybe a little."

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He grins.

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"Some people are just really wrong."

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"They kinda are," agrees Sadde.

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"Cute how you assumed you're not one of those people."

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"I'm never wrong."

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"I expect that's a plus-one to the counter."

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"What counter?"

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"Times you're wrong."

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He giggles.

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"Do you keep a counter?"

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"Nope, but I'm guessing it wasn't zero before that. Do you?"

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"No, too much work."

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"Well, no one you talk to will have been witness to me making a mistake." The train lurches a bit... and starts slowly moving. "Oooh we're going!"

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Thea laughs, still looking a little nervous. "– I don't think I actually keep any counters like that."

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Anthony smiles. "Looking forward to school?"

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"– Sorta, yeah? It's a bit– a bit nerve-wracking."

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"Why?"

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"Because magic exists and I'm going to school with a ton of people who've known about it all their lives and there's a whole different world? – And also apparently electricity doesn't work. For some reason."

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"What really?"

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"It's what I heard. I assume we don't need lightbulbs, though, what with – I dunno, flames of never-going-out?"

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"… Yeah, basically."

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"But why doesn't it work?"

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"Uh. Magic interferes with it somehow? I'm not sure. You have, uh, computers, right? Computers use electricity? They don't work near magic."

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"Nor, like, an electrical watch. Apparently."

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"That's dumb. I'm gonna fix it."

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He coughs a few times, and the word "Slytherin" can almost be heard.

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"Sounds sorta Ravenclaw-ish, to me."

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"… Ravenclaw-ish?" asks Anthony, raising an eyebrow.

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"Yeah? Or you could say Slytherin-ish? Since ambition."

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"Or you could just say it sounds Ravenclaw or Slytherin. Without the ish."

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"Well I'm definitely not Slytherin so Ravenclaw-ish, probably."

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Anthony raises an eyebrow.

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"Ravenclaw could be fun."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Professor Flitwick said they have a library in their common room!"

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"What? Aw, man, no fair!"

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"There's a big library in school anyway, isn't there?"

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"Well yeah but theirs is exclusive."

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"So's the restricted section of the library, if that's a draw."

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"Of course it is."

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"… If it's called a restricted section, it's probably, y'know, restricted."

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"Yep."

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"Uh-huh. Why do I get the feeling that's your first target."

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"Not first!"

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"Is it in the top ten?"

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"...maybe."

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"… Top five?"

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"I'm not gonna tell you that!"

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Thea starts laughing.

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"If it's top three I'm worried about your priorities list."

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"Oh shut up."

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"Is it actually? Why? You could be looking into – okay but is this a short-term priorities list or are these goals just – just, why?"

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"I never said it was!"

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"You also didn't say it wasn't! And you told me to shut up!"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Because you're inferring things about me that are wrong!"

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"You could clarify that they're wrong!"

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"I didn't say your conclusions about my priority orderings were wrong, I said your conclusions about me were wrong, and also I'm a Slytherin, I won't just tell you my plans."

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"You're not a Slytherin yet."

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"It's the principle of the thing!" His eye colour shifts to gold.

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"… Is that a wizard thing?" asks Thea, noticing this. "Wait, no – huh?"

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"It's a me thing! I'm a metamorphmagus, I can change my body however I like!"

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"Ooh, can you turn into an animal?"

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"Not that much."

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"… You're still human though, right?" Pause. "Oh, or are you another sapient species – I saw, what are they called, uh, goblins."

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"I'm human, that's just a thing some magical people are sometimes."

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"Huh." Pause. "Just magical humans or are there also magical other – okay I guess it might depend on the definitions – are there, like, non-human wizards and witches?"

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"Uh – wizards and witches are all humans? I mean, I guess you get some people with some magical genetics but, on the whole, human."

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"'Some people with some magical genetics'?"

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"Uh, like –" Pause. "I mean, people can be part magical creature?"

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"Like what?"

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"… Veela, for example?"

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"Wait, what? How does that work?"

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"… I'm guessing you are not asking me, an eleven-year-old, for The Talk."

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"No, I'm asking you about genetics!"

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"I feel like you might not get the information you want."

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"Are other magical things, like, the same species as humans, or what?"

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"… No?"

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"So how can they make viable hybrids?"

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Anthony frowns at him. "I don't really see why that'd be an issue – as in, why they would be nonviable. Sure, a human and a cat wouldn't work, but it's just how the species work?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"That's not how species work!"

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"… I mean, it's how these species work?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"That's not how species as a biological category work! The definition of a species is 'cannot have fertile offspring'!"

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"… Okay, so by that definition then I guess we're probably all one species? Which would be, I dunno, humanoid magicals?"

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"That makes more sense, I guess. How did they evolve?"

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"Beats me?"

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"Ngh."

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She giggles.

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"I don't really know much about evolution…"

Permalink Mark Unread

"… Do you guys not have the concept of science?"

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"Uh, not as you're thinking of it? I don't think?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"What do you mean?"

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"I mean there are people who develop new spells, people who study magical creatures? But we don't really – science? It's not standard curriculum or anything."

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"Why not?"

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"… I don't actually know why the curriculum is what it is?"

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"I mean why isn't it a thing that people do."

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"Okay but I'm guessing that's the same reason or like, linked to why it's not on the curriculum?" He shrugs. "I don't know."

Permalink Mark Unread

"But then—how do you find things out? Like which spells work or potions or...?"

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"… There are ways to develop spells but I think that's, uh, probably fifth-year or something, I'm not actually sure. And usually people who develop potions are potion masters?"

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"Magical people are weird."

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"It seems like it'd make more sense for it to be done systematically, rather than – I dunno, is that ad hoc?"

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"Well that's what science is, figuring stuff out systematically."

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"I mean for it to be taught systematically."

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"Oh. That too."

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"If only potion masters and spell developers actually get taught it that seems like a bit of a waste."

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"Yeah."

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"Feel free to put that on your list," comments Anthony. "It seems like it could be quite interesting."

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"Put what? Teach magical people science?"

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"Or 'fix the curriculum' or something, yeah."

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"I like my idea more."

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"Feel free. Maybe it'll be how you build up your conspiracy."

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"Part of it!"

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"… Is this linked to taking over the world?"

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"I wanna make all Slytherins stop hating muggleborns and that's social capital!"

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"… All Slytherins hate muggleborns?"

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"No but lots of muggleborn hate comes from them, apparently."

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"Unfortunately," shrugs Anthony.

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"At least there's a convenient target?" says Thea. "If you don't get corrupted by them."

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"I'm incorruptible."

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"Uh-huh."

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"Also I'm a muggleborn so."

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"There is that," she concedes. "I'm sure some people could get past that little issue, though."

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"What, and then go on to hate other muggleborns? Where's the sense in that?"

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"Some people will do anything to be part of an in-crowd."

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"Yeah no I'm gonna be the pariah. I always am."

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"… Is that a religious thing? – Wait, nope, social outcast, never mind."

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"You already seem to have a group of acquaintances," says Anthony.

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"Well sure but that's because everyone's new here."

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"… I mean, I don't think I'm gonna end up just ignoring you."

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"I mean there aren't any cliques here and dominant people and people telling their parents about the weird genderfluid kid."

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"Okay, but, I don't think I'm going to just ignore you when we get to Hogwarts either."

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"Yeah because there you won't have your cliques already ready. It's a new start for everyone."

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"– So you're going to be the pariah like always but one who has a social group?"

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"Probably."

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"Sounds like… it's better than it could be?"

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Thea fidgets a bit.

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He shrugs. "I'm used to it."

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"Would be better if you didn't have to be."

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"Would've been better if someone'd decided to come explain, but alas."

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Nod.

"– So, do you want to try another charm? You seemed excited for magic."

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"I dunno, they might explode again."

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"It didn't really explode so much as… go the wrong way? Maybe?"

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"Huh?"

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"I tried floating a thing and hit Willow with it."

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"Oh." Pause. "Well at least you got it into the air? I assume?"

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"Yeah, into the air and at my head."

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"But that's still, you know – almost floating? It at least probably got lift?"

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"What else should I try?"

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"… You could try doing the floating better? Or – I haven't actually read the books, I don't know what things there are apart from, uh, colour change or something?"

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"Colour change is transfiguration, and—" He turns blue.

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She giggles. "That is so unfair."

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"But can you do it to me? Or my bag?"

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"I could try! I think I'll stick to your bag, though."

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"You can turn it back after, though, right?"

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"In theory, yeah."

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"… What colour are you thinking of?"

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"Dunno. Blue?" He turns back to his normal colour.

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She looks at her bag, which is currently a plain brown.

"… Don't make it too bright and sure, go ahead."

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He touches the bag, frowns a bit, and says, "Colovaria!"

...and it is now bright orange with red specks.

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"Huh," says Thea. "Is this just another mishap or did you do that intentionally?"

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"I did not do that intentionally."

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"It's really not my style," says Thea, biting her lip a little. "Do you know if it's permanent?"

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"I think you have to untransfigure it but, erm, I dunno how."

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"… I can probably ask a teacher when we get there."

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"Or you could ask a prefect?"

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"A what now?"

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"Like, a group of pupils from each house? From the upper years? Who look after first years and stuff?"

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"Oh. Where do we find one of those?"

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"I think they probably group together? Or maybe some of them do rounds – if we look we'll probably find someone."

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"Well Thea's the one who wants it."

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"– Do they wear, like, crests or something?" she asks, getting up.

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"I think, uh, it's a one of the house colours with a P on it? A badge, should be on their uniform."

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"They might have a compartment for themselves."

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"I think they do – some of them – walk along the train but yeah?"

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"Be back in a second, then," she says, grabbing her bag.

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And when she opens the door to their compartment she sees a plump elderly witch with a cart of sweets with a hand poised to knock. "Oh, hello. Does anyone here want anything to eat?"

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"Oh, uh, I'm fine right now thank you – but do you know where I could find the prefects?"

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"They have a car that way," she says, pointing, and then sticks her head into the compartment. "How about you?"

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"Thanks," says Thea, and she goes in the indicated direction.

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"Ooh," says Anthony, seeing the stuff available. "– Could I get a cauldron cake? And," he peers around a bit, "I'm not sure what else you have?"

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She presents a selection including Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans, cauldron cakes, Chocolate Frogs, Drooble's Best Blowing Gum, jelly slugs, liquorice wands, pumpkin pasties, plain old chocolate, and several other items.

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Then Anthony will get a variety of sweets!

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Sadde does not really have a lot of pocket money.

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Willow can totally buy him sweets.

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Anthony gets a few extras in case Sadde would like more or Thea hasn't got stuff by the time she comes back.

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Speaking of Thea, the Prefects' car is pretty easy to find.

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Then she'll knock on the door, holding her… colourful bag!

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A blond boy, probably around sixteen, opens the door. "Hello."

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"Hello," she responds. "Someone was trying out a colour change spell and accidentally turned my bag… this." She holds the bag up. "I was wondering if you could undo it?"

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He looks and sighs. "Was it a Ravenclaw?" he asks, grabbing his wand and touching the bag. It returns to its normal colour.

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"It was someone who has not yet been sorted," says Thea. "Thanks."

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"My bet's on Ravenclaw," he says, waving her away.

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She pauses, then shrugs and makes her way back.

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They're eating sweets!

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"Are those all weird and magical somehow?" she asks, coming into the cabin.

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"… Magical like what?"

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"I dunno," she says. "Explodey or something? I heard you have exploding snap." Shrug.

She sits down. "Got my bag fixed, anyway."

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"Chocolate frogs jump and have moving pictures in their boxes!"

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"And every flavour beans have every flavour."

She's been having fun with those.

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"… Even like, rubber? Or, I dunno, gravel?"

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"Probably somewhere?"

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Blink. "Why?"

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"Because!"

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"That… is a ridiculous reason?" says Thea. "Chocolate frogs sound interesting, though – can I have one?"

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Anthony hands her one.

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And Willow has a bean. "Wood!"

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"Is there something addictive in those?" asks Thea, opening her chocolate frog.

Then she's slightly distracted trying to grab hold of it.

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Good thing they only jump once.

"No, it's just fun to find new flavours." In she pops another one. "Hmm... sand, I think."

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Then Thea eats the frog. Nom.


"This is pretty good, actually."

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"If magic couldn't make tasty sweets I'd feel cheated."

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"Mm, me too," she agrees.

Nom, chocolate.

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And soon someone knocks on their door and tells them to start putting their robes on.

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Ooh, okay.

So then they can put their robes on!

"Robes are weird."

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"… Robes are not weird."

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"They're weird," Sadde agrees.

The train soon approaches Hogsmeade, and the castle is visible in the distance through the window.

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Anthony looks quite happy to be able to see it.

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"… I assume you have magic to make it less draughty. On account of, you know, old castle."

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"Probably," agrees Anthony.

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They are soon led out of the train by a rather large and hairy grinning man, who guides the firsties to a bunch of boats, five people to a boat.

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Thea decides to get into a boat with Anthony.

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Anthony is planning on going with Willow and Sadde, unless they decide to part ways!

… Do they get another person? It feels possibly mean if the new person doesn't know any of them.

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Sadde goes with them!

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And Willow falls into the lake and is rescued by the giant squid and can't stop giggling about it.

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"There's a giant squid?"

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"At least it's friendly?"

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"I was rescued by a giant squid that is so cool this is the best castle."

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"I am – personally – slightly disturbed by the giant squid."

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"Why?"

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"I don't think we usually have giant squid in lakes in Britain."

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"It's probably magical."

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"The lake or the squid or…? I realise the answer is probably 'yes'."

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She giggles.

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"I hear it's very picturesque in the winter. The castle."

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"Can't wait to see it!"

The boats eventually reach the castle, and the children are led to the Great Hall, where the long House tables are illuminated by the light of floating candles and the stars visible through the enchanted ceiling.

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Thea likes the special effects. Thea continues to dislike the robes. (She has already realised she will have to put up with them.)

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Anthony is looking curiously at the staff table.

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In front of the staff table and behind a small podium is the witchiest witch to ever witch; someone who wouldn't look out of place cackling and cooking small lost children. The effect then proceeds to be completely ruined by her strong Scottish accent and firm polite tones.

"Good evening, students. It is with great pleasure that I welcome you to the Sorting Feast. It is customary for the Headmistress to deliver a speech before the actual Sorting, but I believe the Hat has a few words it would like to say before that."

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"—the Hat?"

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Anthony shrugs.

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Indeed, the Hat! For there is a hat on a small stool in front of the podium, there, and it starts... singing.

Faces staring up at me
Few and far between
People in this gathering
Not as many as I've seen

But after night, morning comes
After night, dawn shines
And bit by bit we will rebuild
And soon I'll write new lines

But what, I ask, does the future hold?
What will we yet see?
That, I know, depends on you
And what you wish to be

Gryffindor may be your path
Bold and bright and brave
Valor and people to serve
Is what your heart does crave

Or maybe loyal Hufflepuff
Through blood, sweat, but no tears
Will you build a whole new world
Where we will know no fear

Perhaps your way is Ravenclaw's
Hoard knowledge in your mind
And by the power of your words
The future be defined

Lest we forget Slytherin
I beg you, hear my words!
With noble goals and good friends
Tomorrow will be spurred

With this verse I close my song
My message has been sent
I may help push you along
But you choose where you end

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After Thea gets over the 'talking hat' aspect of this all, she wonders about how ominous this all is.

She might look slightly unimpressed.

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"… How did I not know there was a talking hat," asks Anthony, quietly, mostly of himself.

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"Now I will call you one by one by name, and you will wear the Sorting Hat. It will decide what House you'll fall in." She raises a list to her eyes and says, "Burberry, Matilda." A mousy-looking girl runs up to the hat and puts it on, shutting her eyes with force. After a few seconds, the Hat calls, "Gryffindor!" She grins, removes the hat, and runs to her assigned table to generalised applause.

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Anthony also claps!

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"How did you not know there was a hat?" whispers Thea.

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"It's supposed to be a secret. From first years."

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"Weird," Willow opines.

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A few more people are called and then: "Knox, Anthony!"

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… Well okay then!

He walks up to the front.

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When he puts the hat on, it... talks to him. In his head.

Well, hello, hello.

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… Hello, he responds, looking surprised.

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Communication seems to be what you're about, yes... Being part of a system, understanding the people in it and making your community work. I do know where you'll fit best.

"Hufflepuff!"

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There is of course a lot of applause.

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– Okay then.

He takes the hat off and puts it back on the stool, then walking over to the Hufflepuff table.

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A few people later one "Maxwell, Willow!" is called.

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She sits under the Hat, and it deliberates for a while longer than it did for Anthony, but eventually calls

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"Ravenclaw!"

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After her one "Norton, Jacob!" is Sorted into Slytherin, and a few more people down the line the Headmistress calls a "Travill, Thea!"

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Thea looks around briefly, then walks to the front with an attempted air of confidence.

This is slightly ruined when she picks up the hat, puts it on, and it's – well, rather too large.

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Hmmmm... What a curious mind... A deep dissatisfaction with the world, and a sense of duty to set it right and lead by example. Your ambition is admirable... but its source is rather selfless. Yes, I know exactly where you'd fit best.

And without waiting for her input it declares, "Gryffindor!"

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… That was kinda rude, she thinks, then takes the hat off.

Towards the Gryffindor table she goes.

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A couple more people, then finally the last one, "Woods, Sadde!" She manages to pronounce the name perfectly.

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So he puts the hat on.

Slytherin, he thinks immediately.

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...are you quite certain? Yes, I see what you mean, more ambition than I've seen in a while... but a true desire to understand the world, and there is the situation of being a muggleborn...

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Yes, it's the whole point, I'm gonna fix everything starting with how they all hate muggleborns.

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Very well.

"Slytherin!"

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He takes off the hat and walks self-satisfiedly to the table, to the final wave of applause.

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So they did get one in each house.

Yay.

(Thea claps, frowning just a little.)

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"Something up?" a cheerful third-year sitting with her asks, but before she can answer the Headmistress starts speaking.

"These past few years have been fraught with death and terror," she says. "And even before them, there were things going on behind the scenes that you were not told—because everyone was happy, because there was no way to prove them and no one could—would believe them.

"But though I see fewer people, new and old, here with us this year than any year before, I can say it's all over. The Dark Lord has been vanquished for good, and as the Hat wisely said, you will build us a new future. So be welcome to a new year in the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Let's start it as we always have before: with cheer in our hearts and a delicious meal in our stomachs!"

She clinks a glass with a fork and the tables are suddenly filled with food of the most varied types, a feast worthy of kings and queens.

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"… Dark Lord?"

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"Oh, you're a muggleborn?" the third-year asks. "There was a war, the Dark Lord was an evil guy who thought muggles and muggleborns were terrible and should all be eliminated. Harry Potter killed him last year and won the war."

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"– And nobody thought to tell me this until now?"

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He shrugs. "I guess? Did you talk to a lot of wizards?"

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"A few? … It's just, if it happened last year."

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Shrug. "It's over, anyway."

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She blinks at him. "… Yes," she agrees after a moment, "but this sounds like more than a small thing that has now stopped totally."

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"Well yeah."

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"… So it is probably going to matter."

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"Just don't mess with Slytherins and you'll be fine," the boy advises, popping a meatball into his mouth.

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Uh-huh.

Thea grabs some food herself.

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Meanwhile, Anthony is quite happily chatting to people on his table!

He pauses to try to catch Sadde's attention, then waves and grins.

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He waves and grins, too!

There seems to be an older boy ignoring him, but another firsty—Jacob Norton, he was Sorted earlier—is talking to Sadde.

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Aww, that's nice.

Anthony looks around for Willow too – Ravenclaw table…

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Here she is, talking a lot about something to an interested-looking second-year. And stuffing her face.

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Well, he waves if it looks like he can catch her attention, and then resumes chatting.

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And soon enough everyone has eaten, and the prefects start lining the new students up to show them to their dorms.

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Anthony tries to look excited! (… In a positive way, not a perky annoying way.)

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"Okay, so, the location of the kitchens is not a secret, but it's not, like, public knowledge, either," the prefect explains. "The location of each House's Common Rooms is, though. A secret. So don't go around telling people where ours is."

They reach a painting of a bowl of fruit, and the prefect tickles a pear. It giggles, and the painting opens to show a tunnel.

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Anthony raises an eyebrow but makes no comment.

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The tunnel leads into the kitchens, which has an extra room shaped just like the Great Hall, with identical tables where the food is presumably set up before being sent there. There are several House Elves busying themselves with cleaning everything up, and they barely look up from their tasks to greet the new Hufflepuffs.

The prefect walks to a pile of wine barrels. "Now, to enter our dorms you need to knock on the barrel in the right way." He sings the words "Helga Hufflepuff" and knocks on the wood while he does it, and one of the barrels opens up. "If you get it wrong, it'll spray you with vinegar." Then he unceremoniously drops to all fours and crawls into the barrel.

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Anthony tilts his head. "Interesting lock?"

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The other firsties hesitate but eventually follow along.

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Anthony follows.

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He will be greeted by what's possibly the coziest place on Earth.

There's a fireplace and a huge rug that feels like it hugs you when you walk on it and several sofas and a couple of bookstands and people, all of the Hufflepuffs are there, telling each other stories, playing cards or more arcane games, greeting the new firsties.

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Anthony thinks he's going to like it here.