« Back
Generated:
Post last updated:
Rage of war
Cegorach the trickster god tries a longshot plan involving orks and a human soul, because it’s not like he can make things any worse.
Permalink Mark Unread

The prophesied plan was going well Cegorach thinks. His Harlequin forces were nudging the strands of fate into the right directions, diverting important battles to where and when they needed to be and ending enemies before they could get dangerous. 

But his plan to awaken Ynnead before Rhana Dandra should not be the only plan going even if it was the one with the highest payoff. He needed some new plots to plot and plans to plan else he gets bored. Boredom was the second biggest threat besides Chaos in his opinion.

So Cegorach drifted through the Webways of the old ones looking for something to do that might help the fight. He drifted towards human worlds this time, his Harlequin forces were devoted and the Eldar his chosen people but they could be so stuffy and boring sometimes so humans seemed more fun right now. 

He found a Solar system with a few inhabited worlds with some actual fun going on on them! Parties and festivals and art and all manner of performances flourished in this system unlike so many of the worlds in the Imperium of man. He looked back into its past and found it was cut off from regular warp travel and so had never joined up with the Imperium after the age of strife, this was promising.

He hovered over all the departing souls entering the immaterium from realspace on the planet and checked them to see if he could find anyone suited to his purposes. Oh this one over there, just died from a mountaineering accident. Wasted potential on this planet no real big issues to tackle there and this soul was meant to take on big problems and solve them.

He snatched her soul from near her corpse and away from the waiting warp horrors that would eventually find and devour her soul and pulled her into an illusory space in his soul so they could talk.

She wakes up naked on a pitch black floor in a pitch black void with a 20 foot tall too thin masculine figure with too long limbs wearing a blank mask and a jester's outfit just a few metres away staring down at her. One would imagine this would be a shock to this newly departed soul.

Permalink Mark Unread

It is certainly that. One minute she's hurrying down the mountain away from the freak thunderstorm, the next there's a flash of lightning, and a few moments later, this.

"What the frak--am I dead, or hallucinating?"

Permalink Mark Unread

”Greetings young one. It is something like both of those situations yes.” A voice booms in her mind, most probably from the too tall figure in the mask.

 

”You died and I am basically allowing your soul to think it still has a body so we can talk. But You have no body and you don't actually have a mouth to talk with anymore.” The masked figure crosses his arms looking smug and proud of himself via body language alone due to the blank white mask obscuring his entire face.

 

”I am Cegorach.” And he does a little bow with an arm flair like the upper class on her planet might do.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Life after death. Huh. Well, pleased to meet you, Cegorach, you probably already know I'm Jennifra."

Permalink Mark Unread

“Well... true death wouldn’t have been far away for you under usual circumstances. Daemons and warp horrors fill the Immaterium and devour the souls of mortals as they pass. It’s a big problem, I’m working on it.”

 

“I didn’t actually know your name but what I did know about you was your potential for change, It is what made you stand out out of all the souls of your world.” And then suddenly he leans in all interested.

 

”Does that sound like the kind of problem you would like to work on? A worthy challenge to lever your potential for change and ambition towards? To keep the souls of the dead safe from Chaos? Something of adequate scale for you to tackle rather than the petty problems of your idyllic homeworld.”

Permalink Mark Unread

Given her prior agnosticism about the subject, this is both the worst news and the best news she has ever received.

"If the souls of the dead can be saved, I definitely want to save them. Where do I start?"

Permalink Mark Unread

If his face were not hidden by the mask she would see it smiling predatorily.

”It won’t be eaaaasy~ you might die again, in a much more horrid way~ it is the longest of long shots.” He does a little happy twirl and sounds much too excited at the prospect of jennifra’s horrible death, the bells on his jester’s outfit jingling. “Still want in?”

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah, this guy's really weird. But he seems to be on the side of people-in-general so far.

"If it was going to be easy, somebody would already have done it. I'm still in."

Permalink Mark Unread

He claps once and does another little jig. “Humans are such fun when they grow up free.”

 

Another being appears in front of Jennifra. A huge hulking humanoid with bulging muscles and leathery green skin just standing there. It quickly becomes apparent it’s not alive when it doesn’t move at all, not even to breath. Just a perfectly lifelike statue of a being almost.

 

On a closer look, it seems even less human in appearance. The jaw is too jutting and it has way too many teeth, the forehead is also thick and protruding and the eyes deep-set and slit pupilled. And the body proportions are more like a large ape with long powerful arms and a hunched posture making it seem less massive than it truly is.

 

”This, my dear, Is an Ork. This is what you will be living amongst in your new life.”

Permalink Mark Unread

(He? She? The image) looks ugly, but strong. And kind of dumb, but you can't judge a book by its cover, for all she knows this is the image of a distinguished professor. She's willing to bet they're amazing at mountain climbing, though.

"Okay. I assume they don't speak my language; are you going to do some more, I guess magic, for that? Or am I doing to have to learn it the long way? More to the point, how do they tie in to the whole 'chaos gods eating the souls of the dead' thing? And what do you mean 'when they grow up free'? I was no freer than anyone else on Skystead."

Permalink Mark Unread

“They started out as a race of genetically engineered weapons, all the information they need to succeed is coded in genetic memory and a psychic field they all produce. Including a very bastardized version of low gothic.

How they will fight against chaos? Every sentient race produces psychic energy that goes into the Immaterium or Warp a realm of thought and emotion. A bunch of horribly powerful psychic beings that personify the worst aspects of the mortal races have formed called the Chaos gods. They do mean things like eat mortal souls and send lesser evil spirits to possess and corrupt beings when they draw on the power of the immaterium or are only born sensitive to it.

Orks on the other hand...produce their own psychic field and have their own powers totally separate from the Immaterium! It's genius! Pity they are so stupid and brutish that that incredible ability goes completely to waste.

So, it will be your job to unite the orks and use their psychic and martial might against the Chaos gods and their servants, sounds fun right?”

He claps his hands together in glee again, this plan was going to be so much fun even if it failed.

”And Skystead itself was free. There is a great human Imperium that is tyrannical and repressive and backwards and luckily you never got conquered by it. The humans in it by and large are boring.”

Permalink Mark Unread

"So, unite the Orks behind the idea of fighting the Chaos Gods, figure out how to fight entities that exist outside normal space, and bring down a tyrannical empire, not necessarily in that order. Fun." That last sentence is said sarcastically, but Jennifra can feel the heart she only sort of has beating a bit faster.

Permalink Mark Unread

"The empire isn't your job to fix but if you feel like doing it in your spare time... And trust me the orks psychic field will let you fight ANYTHING, It's whole point is enabling fighting. If enough Orks believe they can hit a Chaos god with an axe then they can hit a Chaos god with an axe.

 

I pointed you at the worst problem in the galaxy right now, the Empire isn't even top 5 most awful things in the galaxy to most people, Most people would even point at Orks as a whole as one of the most awful things in the galaxy and you are going to be one of them." This really is funny, using one of the biggest threats to the Eldar and Humans to fight Chaos and make them a force for good, it was delicious.

"You are almost certain to fail but It's not like you have anything to lose right?. You ready to begin?"

Permalink Mark Unread

Ah, so she's going to get an Ork body. Convenient. As for whether she's certain to fail, well, she'll find out. "Let's do it."

Permalink Mark Unread

And the next thing she knows she is trapped in some sort of rubbery slightly translucent sack, part of her new Ork brain is telling her to rip her way out of it with her new clawed hands and then eat the sack.

Permalink Mark Unread

Ew. Ripping it apart is yes. Eating it is a maybe, she'll try a bit and see if it tastes good. Okay, it does taste good, apparently this is a food item for this biology. Om nom. Claws are pretty cool except how in the heck is she going to use a computer like this, maybe Ork keyboards have really big keys or everything is voice interfaces. Whatever.

Surroundings: she's in a tunnel. There's nobody around, just glowy green moss on the walls and more plant womb pod things like the one she came out of. "Hello!" She says, surprised again by her voice sounding so different. If nobody responds, she'll pick a direction and start walking.

Permalink Mark Unread

Nobody does respond for now. And won't she be disappointed about the state of computer technology in Ork society when she finds out. (practically non-existent unless stolen from other species)

Going down the hall the tunnel bends and the plant womb things get more sparse. But there are a lot of little slug things crawling over extra thick moss and fungal beds down this tunnel. pretty much everything organic looks pretty tasty to her Instinctual Ork mind, the slugs more so than the plants, but she isn't that hungry after eating her pod.

Eventually, she runs into a tiny green humanoid that seems obviously related to orks in some way herding the slugs. It squeaks in fright when it sees her but doesn't run away. Ork brain is telling her the humanoid is called a Gretchin and it is pretty tasty but has too many bones and is too lean, only eat when in the mood for something crunchy. Also less important than the taste to the instinctual ork mind is that it is part of a servant class and can unreliably be asked to do things with enough threats and teeth baring.

Permalink Mark Unread

Okay, why the fuck does she have an instinctive sense that thinks servant classes are a thing. Yuck, nope, that is not allowed in her head. Also, evaluating everything including her neighbors for nutritional value is weird and fucked up.

Ork "social scripts" being deeply inadequate, she'll give the human ones a try. "Hello," she says, "What's your name?" This is accompanied by a brief attempt at a smile before she realizes her teeth are really not compatible with friendly smiles and gives it up as a bad job.

Permalink Mark Unread

It is a very scared little Gretchin, most times Orks that come up to it demand its nicer food or its stash of teef. It tilts his head as if Jennifras's mode of speech confuses it for a bit. "Name is Blacknail oh's mightees Ork, Cuz I have a black nail." And he waves his foot and indeed one nail is perfectly black.

Permalink Mark Unread

She can hardly blame him for being scared; she'd probably jump at her own reflection if she saw it unexpectedly.

Apparently centuries of separation have done some things to the dialect. "Name is Jennifra, cause, not sure why actually." Shit, now she misses her family. She'll just have to hurry up with this mission and go home.

Permalink Mark Unread

"that not a very orky name..." Blacknail mumbles, then realizes he said that out loud. "I means It'z a great name for a great and mightee ork! strong and very green Jennifar please don't kick me?" A punting while not actually painful was pretty scary, being sent flying through the air was scary. Blacknail preferred to stay on the ground thank you very much.

Permalink Mark Unread

"No, you're right, it's not a very Orky name. It's the only one I've got, though."

Permalink Mark Unread

“You gotz a big jaw? Bigjaw is a very good orky name. Or Deffstompa if you like stompin’ things to deff. Toofripper if ya like steelin’ teef by ripping them out. Names like that you know. You must be new, you lookin’ for a minion?.” Blacknail looking up all hopeful with his big batlike ears flat to his head to make himself look more pitiable. Being an orks personal minion would be a big step up from herding squigs if this new ork made it big, and it looked pretty beefy. If the Ork got itself killed no real loss he can go back to herding squigs.

Permalink Mark Unread

She's about to say that she doesn't want any minions, because she doesn't, especially not people who are afraid she's going to kick them when she's several times their size. Then she remembers that she's supposed to be raising an army, which is probably more like having minions than a lot of things. "Yup, I'm new. An' I'd like a minion. You offerin'? An' I'll think about the names." 

She does think about the names. Bigjaw seems the most reasonable, but if she's really going to embrace her mission she ought to go with something more like Deffstompa. Either way she ought to pick soon; apparently names are supposed to mean something and hers is hard to pronounce with these teeth to boot.

Permalink Mark Unread

“Sweet! Well boss, I’s iz your most humbest servant.” Does a little bow. “It iz customary to feed minions six times a day and for a pay of...” Blacknail counts on his fingers and then just shows both his hands. He has 4 fingers on one hand and 5 on the other. “Dis many teef a day.” Obviously lying his little face off with that snide grin. If anything Jennifra’s instinctual ork mind is telling her most servants pay the ork a tithe of teeth(teef).

Permalink Mark Unread

Before Jennifra was an Ork, she was a lawyer, and Blacknail reminds her of some of her clients. She has to laugh at the absurdity of it all. She expects not to have too much trouble obtaining enough food for both of them, even if the local currency is apparently teeth (how do they keep a reasonable level of inflation, if the money supply is maintained by battles?).  

She grabs two slugs and tosses one to Blacknail. "Let's go find something interesting to do. Maybe somewhere to cook these."

Permalink Mark Unread

“Blacknail looks a bit nervous when the ork laughs but gets a face of pure childish delight when he gets tossed one of the food squigs. Sure he could have eaten any of those slugs he was herding when he wanted, but the ork gave one to him. He puts it whole in his mouth and grinds it up into goop with his several rows of needle-like teeth. “Dis way den boss! The camp is up on the surface. Dun tend to go there much on account of not having anyone to keep me safe, but now I’s iz a proper minion an everything. Anyone give me trouble and you’ll krump em right?.” And he leads her off down a tunnel that does have a rise to it.

Jennifra’s inner ork brain does actually agree that you should defend minions from others, an odd opinion from ork instincts that were fine with eating the gretchin moments ago. But the logic becomes clear with the weakly associated emotions, the minion was hers and nobody should mess with her stuff.

Permalink Mark Unread

"You bet I will!" She says. Because duh. He's her people. All the parts of her agree that if you have people you defend them, that's just logic. She follows Blacknail in the indicated direction.

Permalink Mark Unread

They get up out of the tunnel and onto a landscape of craggy blasted cratered rock and a brilliantly bright starscape. Whatever she is breathing must not go very high because it is blocking almost none of the starlight. The horizon also seems very very close compared to the distances she is used to on a planet.

The camp is a bunch of ramshackle huts made of bone and scrap metal and leather and really anything the builders could get their hands on. There are some scrawnier than Jennifra looking orks laying about the outskirts that eye her up as she approaches but decide the fight isn’t worth it. Jennifra seems to have been born decently healthy and strong if these orks are anything to go by. What they do have that Jennifra lacks is any clothing, they all at least have loincloths and some have ratty vests with pockets or belts holding up bags strapped to them. There are also a few gretchin tending campfires and roasting squigs and other unidentified meats or scurrying around doing errands.

There is a gathering of bigger better-dressed orks in the middle of the camp all talking loudly and standing around a nicer bigger hut.

Blacknail is nervous about being near the camp but is walking proudly beside Jennifra as a “proper minion”.

Permalink Mark Unread

She has seen the stars from mountaintops, but this is something else. She grins at the sky, heedless of her fangs.

The clothes on the other orks remind her that she ought to get some clothes of her own, even if she doesn't actually have most of the things clothes are usually there to cover. For the pockets, if nothing else. She's not clear whether that means "buy some" or "find something largeish and skin it" or what, though, so she parks by one of the bigger campfires, snags a stick from the edge of it, and starts roasting her squig.

 

Permalink Mark Unread

The skin crackles and bubbles and it looks pretty well cooked in no time. Smells really tasty! Blacknail is eyeing it greedily even though he just ate a whole one raw and it was a considerable amount of his body weight.

Another ork, a bit smaller than Jennifra, smells the tasty looking roasted squig and comes over. Too lazy to find and roast his own squig, taking it from this newbie seems like a great idea to him. He is smaller than Jennifra but he has a stone knife not that that makes a huge difference with claws and teeth as big as they both have. "Oi! you dere! Gimme dat squig!."

Ork brain instincts do not take kindly at all to being ordered to give up food by a smaller ork. It wants to react with a headbutt and a kick while he's down to establish dominance and that its food stays belonging to it.

Permalink Mark Unread

Stars, what a trivial reason to fight. Jennifra can see why this is the species you'd pick if you were looking to start a war: resilient enough to fight nonstop and aggressive enough to like it. Still, she's not about to throw the first punch. She takes a big bite of her now-done squig and says "How about, fuck off."

Permalink Mark Unread

The roast squig is delicious, orks must enjoy food more than humans because this is very tasty stuff.

Blacknail ooohs appreciatively at the retort like a good minion should, making sure to be out of punting range of the other ork.

”How abouts I shiv ya with me knife fresh spawn!” And the other ork lunges with his stone knife at the hand holding the rest of the roast squig.

 

Permalink Mark Unread

Now, the second punch, that she will throw. She rolls out of the way, which might put her opponent in the campfire if he doesn't stop fast enough, then jumps to her feet and gives this playground bully five claws worth of what for.

Permalink Mark Unread

The other ork does end up in the fire, doesn't seem to bother him that much besides a baring of teeth and an aggressive hiss. The claws cut into the other orks chest deeply but the cuts don't seem to bleed all that much or slow him down. Ork Instincts are nudging Jennifra to blunt forces and breaking limbs unless she wants to bleed her opponent out really slowly.

It's a bit much to get injured over half a roast squig but this isn't the brightest ork in the already dim bunch.

Permalink Mark Unread

Sure. Fine. Blunt force. Kick to the kneecap, that's blunt force. Also she shoves the rest of the squig in her mouth, she knows how to use a free hand better than her teeth.

Permalink Mark Unread

The kneecap breaks under the blow and the other ork finally backs off limping slightly baring his teeth at her. He stupidly throws his weapon at her, his one advantage gone now. The knife flies true and sticks into her shoulder but it doesn't go very deep and barely hurts.

"PUNCH HIM TO SLEEP AND TAKE HIS STUFF!" Blacknail screams with bloodthirsty glee from the sidelines, seeing an ork get beaten up was always fun.

Permalink Mark Unread

She almost does as Blacknail suggests, but pulls herself together. "Looks like I've already got some of it," she says, pulling the knife out of her shoulder. "Say, what are clothes around here made of? I gotta get me some. New ones. Wit pockets." She's still getting the hang of this dialect, but she'll manage eventually.

Permalink Mark Unread

"uhhh..." The other ork is also dumbfounded he isn't getting his face punched in right now. "Bag Squig leather I guess?... or stuff taken from da umies and da tall thin slaver ones. Ya not gonna take me stuff? I did just shiv ya..." Was this a sign of weakness from the new ork? It seemed to be stronger than him but maybe it was a bluff?.

Permalink Mark Unread

Ugh, she probably should have taken his stuff, especially if it was mostly stolen to begin with. When in Rome, or something. She adds "tall thin slaver ones" to the list of long-term problems to deal with and says threateningly, "Well, if ya think I oughta take yur stuff, maybe I will. Ya did just shiv me, and ya didn't even do a good job of it!"

Permalink Mark Unread

The other ork holds up his hands. "No no you can not take me stuff if ya want, ye already ate de squig." And he backs away hoping she doesn't change her mind.

"Boooo, shoulda put him ta sleep an nicked his stuff, he had a nice belt." Blacknail comments, and he is eyeing the shiny stone knife Jennifra holds with awe and greed.

Permalink Mark Unread

Well, at least she's an embarrassed non-thief instead of an embarrassed thief (the knife doesn't count, anything she pulls out of her body is hers). Still, she does need some clothes. Hmmm . . . She looks around for an ork who is 1) about her size or a little bigger, 2) even more stupid-looking than average, 3) not conspicuously surrounded by friends, and 4) wearing a loincloth and some sort of halfway decent storage solution, pouches or pockets or whatever. Having picked her target, she strides up to him and says, "Hey you, wanna make a bet?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Uhhh wot?" The ork she picks turns around confused, it is wearing actual pants! With pockets! Probably looted off a human. They are a bit ragged but seem better than a loincloth, they are covered in oil stains and he has some fiddly tools strapped to his chest by a belt. He does look reaaaally stupid though. "Watchu want fresh spawn?."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Let's you and me fight. You win, you get my stuff; I win, I get your stuff." She can't really match an ante of pants when all she has is a knife, but that's half the reason she went for a stupid one. She's half-expecting him to answer her with a punch rather than a verbal agreement or objection.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Thas not really a bet fresh spawn thas more just how tings work round 'ere." And the other ork goes for a backhanded slap at Jennifra with his huge orkish hand. If it wasn't telegraphed so obviously it might have rattled her skull pretty hard. The other ork wasn't even fighting for stuff he just wanted to show the newbie who was boss and wasn't putting his all into the slap expecting it to connect and for Jennifra to back off.

Permalink Mark Unread

Oh good, she she got the cultural nuances right this time, ha ha. She dodges the slap, grabs the flying arm, and yanks, hopefully pulling the other ork off balance, while bringing a kneecap up sharply to meet him halfway.

Permalink Mark Unread

The ork does topple as he is pulled, the kneecap to his solar plexus does hurt him but orks have multiple smaller “lungs” around the torso so it doesn’t wind him too much. He flops to the ground with a wheeze and then gets back up quickly with an only slightly terrifying toothy grin. “Good job fresh spawn! That was a ‘ight propa scrap dere.”

This ork doesn't seem too upset Jennifra got a hit in. He seems to be having a lot of fun finding someone who fights back actually, but he does seem more serious about the fight now even with his good mood.

Permalink Mark Unread

Serious is fine. He's not in a state from which she can steal acquire in a culturally approved manner steal his pants yet. Uppercut to the jaw!

Permalink Mark Unread

Teeth go flying! Blacknail scampers to collect the fallen teeth. The other ork wildly swings with his long arms and though he telegraphs his attacks like an idiot it isn’t that easy to block those trunks of flailing muscle so it is an effective tactic to make people back away a bit and gain some distance. “Ya wud make a great pit fighter!” Spitting teeth but still seeming like he is having the time of his life, he does seem a lot less generally hostile than other orks even though they are fighting Jennifra. “Ye wanna teach me dat move later?.”

Permalink Mark Unread

What an excellent dude this dude is! "Sure thing!" she says, ducking under the windmill-arms to tackle his legs out from under him.

Permalink Mark Unread

He topples to the ground a second time, this time when he gets up he brushes the pebbles out of his face and puts his hands up plaintively. “Okay fresh spawn ya win, Mork was wit yer when yous was born. Watchu want?.” Pointing at himself or rather his stuff.

Permalink Mark Unread

Somebody was with her when she was born, at any rate. "I want yer pants." Stars that sounded dirty. 

Permalink Mark Unread

He shrugs and takes them off, chucking them at Jennifra. “Thas not so bad a loss, watch’er name anyway? Mine is Groknath.” A simple sort of friendly smile coming from him even through shattered front teeth. Groknath may not be the smartest or strongest ork in the horde but he was the happiest and friendliest one you were likely to meet.

Permalink Mark Unread

She puts the pants on to buy herself a couple seconds to think, then says, "I'm Bigjaw." 

Permalink Mark Unread

“Ye do have a big jaw, me firs’ name was Smiler before I figured out a betta wun.” He looks Jennifra up and down and a thought visibly takes a few seconds to complete on his face. “If yer a fresh spawn...then ya probably haven’t met da boss then? Ya should meet da boss, specially since yous good inna scrap.”

Permalink Mark Unread

Oh good, name changes are a thing, she isn't stuck with Bigjaw forever if she comes up with something less default.

"I should definitely meet da boss." Because boy does she have a fight to propose.

Permalink Mark Unread

“I’ll take ya to da boss then.” And Groknath leads Jennifra to the center of the camp where the big building and the crowd was and some really big orks in much nicer clothes than the regular rabble. “Ey boss! New fresh spawn jus’ arrived an’ he can fight real good he can, knocked me right onto da floor twice.” He says to one of the largest orks there with a fancy tricorner hat with a plume of red hair coming out the top and actual plates of body armor on his ripped chest, presumably the boss of this tribe.

 

The boss roars with laughter “Thas not very hard though innit! But I saw this fresh spawn fight earlier outside the camp too, not bad for summing without practice.” The boss was still using ork dialect but his pronunciation was obviously better than everyone Jennifra had met until now. “Gonna need strong Boyz for this next raid we will. What's yer name?.” He says to Jennifra.

Permalink Mark Unread

The gender thing is odd, but given that orks don't seem to have biological sexes she can see how they'd end up not distinguishing genders either. "My name's Bigjaw. What's the next raid?" She sort of expects it will be something awful, but she needs to build political capital so that when she says "let's go find some gods and kill them" it seems like a reasonable idea.

Permalink Mark Unread

The boss grins a wicked toothy grin. "So I waz thinkin, right? why raid planets for loot and slaves and 'ave to sort through all the bitz to find the good stuff, when we can raid dem tall spiky slaver ones who already did all the work! all they do iz go steal from umies so why not nick their stuff since they've helpfully collected it for uz."

Most of the other orks look confused, a few of the bigger ones seem to understand and nod, high-risk high reward stealing from other essentially pirate forces. The dumber smaller ones see the big ones nodding and nod along just not wanting to feel left out.

Groknath looks confused. "If dey iz being helpful for us why iz we stealin' it? won't dey jus' give it to us?"
The boss ork smacks Groknath around the back of the head. "They ain't really being helpful was a figure of speech!"

Blacknail has faithfully followed Jennifra to the meeting but is being very careful to avoid any orks attention, poor sod looks scared out of his mind being in front of the boss.

Permalink Mark Unread

She gets to fight some slavers! And then she gets to stop the other orks from taking slaves themselves, that'll probably be the tricky part. "Hey, that's a real good plan!"

Permalink Mark Unread

“This is a Mork kind of Boy if I ever saw wun.” The boss ork laughs cheerfully at Jennifra agreeing to his plan and claps Grocknath on the shoulder pushing him towards her. “Grocknath get our scrappy Bigjaw a shoota and a choppa and introduce dem to the rest of the Boyz in training.”

So Groknath leads her away to some supply huts staffed by scrawnier orks whos jobs it was to keep the gretchin from stealing anything.

First Grocknath gets Jennifra a crude metal Axe with a very tall blade so that it can be used as a machete almost. “Dis is a choppa, every ork shud ‘ave a choppa. Make or trade for a betta wun when ye can.”

Groknath then hands her a beaten up gun-shaped piece of bashed together metal scrap from the pile, but it is slightly more gun shaped than the others. At least the barrel is straight on this one. “I made dis wun, my shootas explode less than all the rest!” He grins cheerfully as he hands it to you. What a nice lad.

Blacknail looks in awe at the firearm Jennifra now owns, the diminutive greenskin is practically vibrating in excitement at the sight of a gun.

And the till now mostly silent ork instincts feel very happy at Jennifra holding an axe and a gun.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Thank you!" What was that Cegorach had said about orks being powered by belief? "The Ork psychic field will let you fight anything." If Groknath says this is a gun, and Blacknail says it's a gun, and she says it's a gun, then by the stars it's a gun, and a good one too. She looks around for something to shoot.

Permalink Mark Unread

There is trash all around if she wants to shoot at it, some squigs rifling through dirt and trash also make acceptable targets. Ork instinct brain is sort of tempted to shoot at a gretchin tending a fire also. Couple of boulders around if she wants to test the spread of the gun.

 

Groknath is very happy someone thanked him for his work, nobody has ever done that before. He gets paid for services sometimes if its a nicer gun but not ever thanked. “I iz a mekboy I build stuff! I can build ya tings friend! if ya need more stuff come see me on de side of de camp with de rock dat look like a fist.” Groknath has decided he and Bigjaw are friends, only friends would be that nice to each other.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Sure thing, friend!" She's never beaten and robbed a nicer guy. If making allies stays this easy she'll be charging the gates of Death in no time.

She's not shooting a gretchin, brain, get it together before the combat starts and she has to double-check every impulse for being friendly fire. She shoots a boulder, expecting as sincerely as possible that her aim is excellent and that the boulder will get super wrecked.

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah no. Most of the shots do not hit where she aimed, but at least they mostly hit the boulder. The recoil is insane and ork arms are stupidly strong so that is saying something. The rate of fire is actually pretty excellent for a non automatic one handed gun made of scrap. And the shots do carve out pretty decent chunks of stone from the boulder, imagine what they would do to exposed flesh.

 

Sort of suits the orks general strategy, just fire enough bullets and one of them is sure to hit.

 

Blacknail is jumping up and down with excitement at the gunfire. You visibly can see him wanting to shoot the gun as the thing he wants most in life. it’s not just body language it might even be psychic shenanigans he is giving off the desire to hold and fire the shoota so badly.

Permalink Mark Unread

She'll get used to the recoil eventually. Firing into a mass will clearly be better than trying to snipe. When there are a couple of shots left in the shoota, she turns to Blacknail and holds it out. "Wanna try? Be careful, though, the recoil might knock ya on her arse."

Permalink Mark Unread

Blacknail the gretchins life is now complete and he can die happy, he loves guns and never expected to be able to fire one. He was just tagging along with Jennifra for convenience but this bought his loyalty. Blacknail takes the shoota like it is a holy relic, braces it like a rifle and fires. Slow measured shots with him re-aiming between them because the recoil almost knocks him off his feet.

He is actually pretty accurate! For using an ork gun he gets a much tighter spread than Jennifra did even if it takes him a lot longer to line up his shots. With a better gun, he might make a good sharpshooter, well better than an ork anyway.

"BEST DAY EVER! AHAHAHAHAHAH." Cackling with glee.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Hey, yer a good shot when ya take yer time about it! Have you ever been on a raid?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Me? nonononono, Gretchin who go as shoota fodder not come back. All you get is a pointy stick! If you are lucky!" Blacknail looks pretty nervous at the mention of being made to go on raids.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Hey, if you don' wanna raid, don't raid. If ya did, I'd want ya to be well back from the main fight, shooting from somewhere high up where ya can git a good shot without worrying about getting hit."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Shooting? I'd get to shoot?" Well, now Blacknail seems interested, though he doesn't know about being left alone without an ork to protect him. That seems scary still. "Yous iz da best boss ever." Handing back the shoota to Jennifra, if it was anyone else he'd have tried to scamper off with it.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yah, no point in you goin' unless you gets ta shoot. The tricky bit is finding a place ta shoot from." She takes the shoota back, trying not to show that she was kind of worried he'd scamper off with it. Then she thinks about tactics. She's never raided a spaceship before--never been on one, in fact; the space around her star system was too hostile for any sort of travel. But she expects a maze of confined spaces, making it difficult to find a place to snipe from. And a whole squad of sharpshooters would be a better bet than a lone one. "Do you think other gretchins would make good shots too? Maybe you could all practice, and then next time we raid a planet there could be a whole lotta you. Wouldn't that give da umies or whoever a surprise."

Permalink Mark Unread

“I’d be careful trustin’ otha Gretchin with shootas, but with a boss this great I iz sure you could find lots to work for yas!” Waving his arms wide when he indicates lots. “Also if the sticky outy bit was longer I think it wud shoot more straight.” Blacknail, smarter than his childish demenour and low cunning would suggest. At least when it comes to guns.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Well, if ya find any others ya think kin be trusted and kind learn ta shoot, lemme know about 'em, alright?" She takes a few steps away and starts practicing with the Choppa, swinging it experimentally while being careful not to dismember herself or Blacknail.

Permalink Mark Unread

Choppa wielding comes easy to Jennifra. It really isn’t a hard weapon to understand with the ork instincts helping her along. It isnt built for fancy swordplay more just hacking and slashing with more strength and weight than the other guy.

 

Groknath is waiting patiently for her to be done. “Supposta introduce ya to the otha boyz in ya squad and the Nob in charge of it also...” 

Permalink Mark Unread

She slings the choppa over her shoulder and says, "Yes, thanks, let's do that."

Permalink Mark Unread

So Groknath leads them to a sort of courtyard with low stone walls around it. About 30 orks are all sitting in a circle watching two boyz wrestle in the middle. A taller ork of the variety that surrounded the tribe boss is overseeing things and holding a turtleshell looking thing filled with teeth, presumably the pot for the fight.

 

”Thas the Nob in charge of yer warband, the rest are the boyz of yer warband. Ya don’t have to show up every day for training but if ya miss too many days the Nob will come find ya and krump ya good.” Groknath points at the tall one.

 

The “Nob” is wearing actual clothes rather than the standard rough loincloth or vest, with bones and strips of enemy uniform dangling from his jacket as trophies. He also has a blood red mowhawk somehow even though every other ork Jennifra has seen has been bald.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Good ta know." She waves at the Nob.

Permalink Mark Unread

The Nob sees her and motions her over. “Oi, you must be tah last of the new fresh spawns. We got nearly wiped out in the last raid.” He laughs like that is a super fun thing that happened. “Lost full half me boyz. So what’s yer name? I’m Rippa.”

Permalink Mark Unread

Dying is actually not super fun, and she would know. She'll just have to get good enough to keep everyone alive.

"I'm Bigjaw."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Well ye do have a big jaw, lots of teef, pretty tall for a fresh spawn. If ye don't find a Oddboy specialty I wuz thinkin' you go to a choppa squad. Close combat shock troops could use someone ya size." Rippa despite his attitude to overwhelming losses seems pretty smart for an ork. Actually bothering to understand the need for different kinds of squads. This isn’t great news for Jennifra since the ork instincts are telling her choppa squads get into close range, very high casualty, and bloody battles even if the instincts are excited about being in them.

​"Nothin' betta than choppin' up da enemy, just need to make it close enough. Ye also get the best loot." Rippa laughs and claps Jennifra on the shoulder.

Permalink Mark Unread

Well, she's not going to try to get a safer posting at the price of someone else getting a more dangerous one. Still, best to know all the options. "What kindsa oddboyz are there?"

Permalink Mark Unread

“We got Mekboyz that do mech stuff, they don't just know how ta build stuff like bigga shootas or stompa mechs. One made a very nice metal jaw for me mate Banga, I’ll miss that shiny metal grin I will.

Painboyz or Doks that know how ta stitch ye up after a scrap, but they likes experimentin’ on victims so make sure to see them only if ya actually gonna die from ya wounds mate. 

Herdas that are good at managing lots of battle squigs or really big squigs that are bigger than a trukk ya can ride on.

Runtherdz for managing lots of gretchin, is a big pain to deal with more than 3 normally but if ya got lots of em well trained they can comb the battlefield for loot for ya.

Slavers for same thing but dealing wit slaves, but slaves die too easy in my opinion, at least gretchins can feed on greenmoss and all ya really need to herd gretchin is a big stick te whack em with. Slavers need ‘food’ and ‘sleepin quarters’ and ‘shackles’ for da slaves.

Could be a Weirdboy if ya feel all tingy in yer head when around too many other orks, let that build up without shootin it out in weird blasts an ye head can explode! And all the heads of all orks around ye too! Usually they go hide and be alone but if ye round em up and push em into battle when they flip out and start zapping people with weird blasts they take more of the enemy out than us.

Madboyz don’t got any special skills they just don’t come out of the pod right, Sometimes they jus’ don’t play nice in a squad or can’t figure out really simple commands like ‘krump doz gitz!’ so they just get given stikkbombs and worked into a frenzy and pointed roughly at the other side.

And finally ye got Speedfreaks. Now don’t get me wrong everyone luvs to ride the trukk fast into a group of enemies, but these boyz want to go so fast the trukk catches fire and shakes itself apart, or they wanna go so fast they’ll even get in one of dem flying things! Ork feet are meant to stay on the ground I say.

So yeah mate that’s about it, ye get Oddboy religious types like Yellerz but they fight in like everyone else so It's irrel-vant if they gots special holy knowledge from Gork and Mork” Rippa seems a bit of an Oddboy himself, being patient and smart enough to explain all this to a newbie in so many words, the usual Nob would just tell the new ork to figure it out himself.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Thanks!" That was a lot more explanation than she was expecting, which is nice. Giant rideable squigs sound very interesting, as does leading a herd of gretchins, but ultimately she's after Rippa's job. "If I'm gonna be in the choppa squad, I wanna get some practice wit dis choppa!"

Permalink Mark Unread

Rippa motions to a group of Boyz hacking at dummies made of bone and spongy moss, and each other sometimes. “Noice attitude mate! Only rule is dun chop off anything that doesn’t stick back on withou’ stitches.”

Ork instincts tell her hands and fingers will stick back on, the tips of fingers might even grow back. But hacking off an arm leg is going to need to be stitched back on and nobody wants to be at the tender mercies of a Dok.

Blacknail is just hanging around Jennifras foot hoping he will be told to go off and do something away from all these rowdy orcs.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Hey, Blacknail? I'm gonna be practicing for a while, how's about you go find some other gretchins and see if any of them can throw a rock with as good aim as you? And any who can, ask them if they'd like to join a gretchin shoota squad."

Permalink Mark Unread

Blacknails eyes light up at the talk of a gretchin shoota squad, and at the idea of bossing around other gretchin. “Maybe...if boss gives me da knife you gots earlier so I’s can keep the lazy shiftless grots in line? You gots a big choppa instead now after all...” Not really expecting the plea to work, but boss bigjaw seemed pretty nice and not the kind of ork who would kick him for asking.

Permalink Mark Unread

She . . . actually can't think of any reason not to do that. It increases his formidability by a much greater amount than it does hers; her claws make it practically redundant. "Yes, alright," she says, handing it over, "just don't lose it and don't stab anyone without a good reason."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Wheeeeee!" Blacknail grabs the knife and caresses its shiny shiny surface. "I will find the bestest shoota squad ever boss!" 

Best boss ever! First, they let him shoot the shoota, then they give him a knife, and now he gets to be a boss himself of other gretchin! Any reason to shiv someone is a good reason. Blacknail thinks to himself as he scampers off to find other gretchin to coerce or bully into working for Bigjaw.

Permalink Mark Unread

Bigjaw hopes she has not created any more of a monster. Well, when you are looking for an army to take on gods, maybe monsters are just what you want. She goes to practice with the Choppa, learning to swing it and getting a feel for how it moves and how much force it takes to cut, and also learning to pay attention to the general melee around her while also focusing on her own actions.

Permalink Mark Unread

One of the orks comes up to her with his own choppa and makes a beckoning motion. Seems someone wants to spar.

Permalink Mark Unread

She's in! She turns to face him and unlimbers her own choppa.

Permalink Mark Unread

"How fares it human!? Settling in okay?" A familiar voice appears in Jennifra's mind just as the other ork comes in with a swing at her torso. "You make any friends yet? Ah, mortals, they grow up so fast."

Cegorach enjoys making his divine presence known at inconvenient moments. It's the little things in life that make eons of existence not a pain.

Permalink Mark Unread

Jennifra blocks, barely, and rolls her eyes. "Hi," she mutters. Can the other ork see this dude at all, she bets not.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Oh you can just think things at me you don't have to talk out loud. Even for an ork that would be a little strange~." A little musical tone to his voice when he says 'strange'. 

The ork grins at the newbie barely blocking and goes in for a double-handed attack with all his strength behind it, trying to knock the choppa out of Jennifra's hands.

"Ooh watch out there. That swing looks pretty hard." He says totally unhelpfully since the ork made no attempt not to telegraph his attack.

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah, she's just going to have the fight first and the conversation second. Cegorach may be a god, but the other ork requested her attention first, and much more politely to boot. Sidestep, blood-curdling yell, lateral sweep at his ankles. 

Permalink Mark Unread

The ork barely stumbles out of the way just in time of being de-footed and falls over onto his butt. Totally open for a finishing strike. He did not expect the newbie to fight back that hard after that weak block.

Permalink Mark Unread

Rippa off overseeing the practice notices who he knows as Bigjaw do that dodge and sweep at the legs and looks intrigued.

Permalink Mark Unread

It's kind of hard to be sure what she can do with a choppa that doesn't risk removing a limb in a hard to fix way. She's going to fight defensively for a bit and see what her opponent tries, which also gives her enough mental bandwidth to think So, what's up? at Cegorach.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Just checking in, making sure you did not get your head cut off yet and need to find another human to try this with. All my other plots are underway and mostly hands-off right now so I was bored as well. Watching you fight is fun in a brutal efficient way at least, nothing like my people's styles."

Cegorach shows a flash of tall thin masked humanoids with too tall heads and too long limbs twirling with swords as if it was a dance. "So very dramatic they are."

Permalink Mark Unread

Sparring partner is a lot warier after falling on his ass the first time, but glad the bout continues instead of the newbie eliminating him by making a faux killmove while he was down. Doing little feints with his choppa to test Jennifra's defence. He doesn't really get how to bluff with his body language though. His muscles tense way more when he is going for a real swing.

Permalink Mark Unread

Ooh, I wanna learn that, I'm just making shit up. Jennifra is also not making any successful feints, because right now every move she makes is for real. She attempts to go upside her opponent's head with the flat side of her choppa.

Permalink Mark Unread

This one the sparring partner does dodge, but the edge clips his elbow causing it to bleed. The wound stops bleeding VERY quickly giving firsthand evidence of the extraordinary resilience of the ork race.

He backs off for a moment then does an overhead swing with a kick in the mix. Wich is a revolutionarily clever tactic for a lot of orks. But this is the first time this ork has encountered a tricky opponent who doesn't just yell and hack at him while he yells and hacks at them until one falls unconscious from blood loss. Orks do not tend to defend themselves with the choppa and Jennifra does so he has been forced to think a bit.

Permalink Mark Unread

Ooh, kicking! That takes her by surprise. She's going to steal it.

Permalink Mark Unread

Ork looks a little offended at his move being stolen and kicks again at her foot this time a little childishly. Like a kid stomping on someone's foot because they had their toy stolen.

Permalink Mark Unread

"When they aren't eating the populations of planets and destroying civilizations for fun orks can be kind of endearing, can't they." Cegorach muses. "Hurry up and take him out so we can talk plots."

Permalink Mark Unread

Oh, plots, that sounds important. Jennifra pushes herself for a little bit of extra speed, fakes high and swings low, aiming to maim the other guy's feet.

Permalink Mark Unread

He does not manage to avoid the blow to his feet this time, gashes in his ankles and his tendons getting cut. He falls back with a much more serious growl of pain this time. "Ye win! Ye win! Yeld!"

Ork instincts tell Jennifra the other ork will be up and about in few days by the latest.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Good fight, thanks!" She's glad she hit the right balance of taking him out without doing him lasting harm. Ork biology is pretty great. So, yes, plots! Let's plot!

Permalink Mark Unread

"Well, what do you have so far in terms of contacts and resources? Using omniscience to find out takes a lot of power you know, so let's talk." Stars, his new minion sure was enthusiastic about plotting. What fun!

Permalink Mark Unread

I've met a gretchin named Blacknail who's good with a shoota and has declared himself my minion, I've got him recruiting more gretchins for a potential sniper squad. I'm friends with my unit's weapons guy, though I get the sense that he's friends with literally everyone. I expect I'll have impressed the nob after this next raid. Resources is this choppa and shoota, my pants, got a crappy knife unless Blacknail looses it, plus various communal stuff.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Only been a few hours, not a terrible job. Gretchin could be a useful resource if they can be motivated to follow you.

You could probably end up making better technology than the local mek before long, as long as he isn't the kind to be making titan war machines. You don't have the full mek inherent programming but I am sure you could trick the psychic field into supporting your creations.

With the usual level of competition in ork kind being impressive to someone isn't that impressive, BUT that the Nob is smart enough to be impressed by you is promising.

But it is still early days my dear mortal! A single asteroid filled with orks matters not in the long run. So just survive and grow stronger and gather whatever resources you can for now." He cackles and shows Jennifra different images. Scenes of an entire continent covered in a sea of green flesh swarming a lone standing fortress the size of a mountain. Orks rushing to their death at a trio of titanic deamons as tall as buildings simply for the challenge of fighting something that powerful. A fleet of ramshackle ships each the size of a city hurtling towards a planet covered in spider-like aliens covered in blades living in enormous hives.

Permalink Mark Unread

Jennifra's head swims at the visions of war. So many people are going to die . . . But in the process they can win life after death for sapients everywhere. It's horrible and awe-inspiring and somehow beautiful.

"I can make tech here?" she asks eventually. That had never been her specialty back home. Man, she misses Bruce. She's extremely glad he's safe at home and not here--he would hate this--but she misses him anyway. "I guess I should ask that mekboy to give me a crash course. Better ranged weaponry is going to be a must and no mistake."

Permalink Mark Unread

"If you pull apart your 'shoota', hypothetically! don't actually do it, you will find the insides are barely more than loose scrap. What the ork psychic field does is it takes expectations about a piece of technology and makes them real. So if a mek has an idea for a gun, and shapes materials to look like a gun while maintaining that mental image, the field will help it be a working gun. The red trukks go faster because orks think red trukks go faster." He chuckles at that. "You know more about guns and so could make a much more convincing replica for the field to work on, even without knowing how the gun you are copying works exactly."

Cegorach is pained and amused by orks in equal measure. If they would stop killing his people they would be very fun but it's what makes them kill his people that is what makes them orky. The design of them as the ultimate survival-oriented warrior race was elegant in a way. If only the Old ones had given the Eldar their own psychic field and just as much adaptability when creating them. Maybe the galaxy wouldn't be in this mess if they had.

Permalink Mark Unread

That's . . . really cool, actually. It'd drive certain people nuts, but I can use that. She's gonna make bombs, and guns, and planes, and more bombs, and put flame decals and speed stripes on every vehicle she can get her hands on like a teenage jock with his first personal scootpod.

Permalink Mark Unread

"You could always learn engineering and do it the hard way if it bothered you...you would get better performance than relying on the psychic belief strength of the horde. It stacks anyway, build something correctly that would actually work and the field just makes it more of what it was supposed to be.

But why bother if just making it look good enough will work to make something deadly. These are orks, they need to be ready to go just days after they spawn." He hopes she does not just start playing mek. That can be left to underlings when she has them.

"Oh and while I was rummaging around here while visiting you in your new head...I discovered this body has Psyker potential. Be careful of the warp child." very serious tone of voice with that warning.

Permalink Mark Unread

Mek stuff sounds like she can get good at it, teach it to people who are more specialized for it, and move on. But this other thing is surprising. Psyker potential? Sounds awesome but dangerous, what do I need to do differently given that? she asks. Sounds like she needs to tell Rippa she's an oddboy after all.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Well...Knowledge can be dangerous but I am the god who made a forbidden library filled with every piece of information ever collected on chaos." He brags a little proudly.

"So it would be hypocritical to not tell you. All orks access their shared psychic field, well some access it more heavily than others and can do essentially magic with it like throw fire and explode things. It is dangerous but only really to themselves and anyone in the blast zone should they explode from too much energy.

Well... Psykers access the warp in a similar way, but if you touch the warp the warp can touch you back. Daemons can follow your power back out into the material world if your will is not strong enough to resist them. When someone like you explodes from overdrawing warp energy you would summon a horde of chaos daemons to where you died. So while it could be an incredible source of power there is a reason I picked orks as a tool. They don't have to rely on the warp to use psychic might. I suppose your soul got the potential when I kept it within me before stitching it into an ork. Sorry~." Not really sounding all that sorry.

Permalink Mark Unread

If it requires strength of will, she really doesn't think she's going to have a problem. Still, better safe than sorry. She'll stick to small amounts unless it's do or die, and get the hang of it outside combat first. Can I make attacks with the ork psychic field too, or just the warp?  The former sounds significantly safer.

Permalink Mark Unread

"With a lot of practice, I would think so. But as far as I can tell you aren't a Weirdboy. But the Psyker affinity should help bridge the gap a little. You wouldn't want to be a Weirdboy anyway it's very unpleasant to the user. Can't be in a crowd of hyped-up orks without either expelling energy or exploding."

Cegorach projects an image of ork Jennifra half a foot tall surrounded by tiny orks on the ground before shaking and exploding in a shower of red mist. 

"I really would not recommend playing with the warp. I won't order you not to that would be hypocritical given my library, but it would be a good warning to listen to."

The tiny Jennifra reforms before clutching her head and her body warps into a monstrous daemonic form that starts slaughtering the nearby orks and the corpses start standing up and killing more. Then the little projection vanishes.

Cegorach does not get to show off his illusions very much these days so he appreciates the opportunity to show off a little.

Permalink Mark Unread

The illusions are pretty cool, or would be if not for the creepy subject matter. Yikes. Anything else you wanted to talk about?

Permalink Mark Unread

"Only that you don't only have to rely on orks. Mercenaries exist. Get enough riches and you can fill your armies with competent people from your original or other races. You don't have to do everything yourself the slow way, you can hire people to help if you need to. This isn't some pilgrimage where you have to do everything the hard way to show piety, all I really care about is results. Cheat, Steal, Exploit everything you need to enable the fight against the forces of chaos."

His own followers would treat it like a pilgrimage and do everything the hard way even if he told them not to. But humans were good at being adaptable and pragmatic. He had high hopes for Jennifra.

Permalink Mark Unread

Mercenaries, now there's an idea. I could find people who know tactics, people who can make weapons . . . Excellent.

Permalink Mark Unread

"I don't want to have to hold your hand through every good idea so get creative. Keep working on making contacts and gaining resources. Getting non-ork forces is not that big of an idea.

You can start on getting non-ork forces right now If you want. You know they have slaves on this Rok and you don't have to pay those. They'll be happier with you since you know how to keep them alive better than a dimwitted ork who doesn't understand other races need to drink more than every 3 days.

Goodbye for now mortal. Good luck and good hunting~"

And now there is no voice in her head, he could still be around just being quiet but that road leads to paranoia.

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah, she's just been assuming he's always watching and she's going to keep assuming that. Time to explore this asteroid and do something about the fact that there are slaves on it. She heads back into the tunnels and starts systematically traversing them at a brisk walk.

Permalink Mark Unread

While she is doing that Blacknail comes scampering back having tracked Jennifra down. "Boss! Boss! I found a whole camp of sneaky grots hiding away from the orks not belonging to anyone! You could go be their boss pretty easy! Theys is running out of food having to hide from the orks and stay away from the moss fields, and they keeps getting eaten by toothy squigs roaming the tunnels! A nice boss like you keeping them safe and a few kicks in da rump is sure to gets them to follow you!" He pants out of breath having run back to tell her and having blurted all that out quite loudly.

Blacknail wants to have done a good job. Just in case Boss finds any more shinies they would be willing to share with such a helpful and useful Gretchin.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Excellent! That you found them, not that they're running out of food. Lead me to 'em."

Permalink Mark Unread

Blacknail scampers off leading Jennifra to the camp of runaway gretchin.

The camp is hidden from view from any of the main tunnels by lots of bends and twists and tight passages. If jennifra was any bigger she would not be able to get through and even then she has to break off bits of stone to squeeze by.

It's...barely something that could be called a camp. The gretchin have tried to set up lean-to's but most have collapsed and ended up more like nests of sticks and scrap cloth. There are little piles of bones from whatever prey they've managed to catch everywhere with desperate gretchin picking through the bones to find scraps of marrow. These gretchin are entirely too thin as well. Blacknail is thin as all gretchin are but he has defined whipcord muscles under his skin with a hint of pectorals and biceps, the runaway gretchin all have their ribcages in stark relief on their skin and next to no muscle left.

When they spot Jennifra coming in they all freeze and their eyes go wide hoping the scary ork would overlook them and go for another gretchin. One gretchin yells "ORK!" and the gretchin beside him slaps him around the head. "We's can see that you krumpin idiot! now shut up!" He whispers angrily to his loud friend.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Hey, folks," she rumbles, "there's nothing ta be scared of. I'm just here to make you all an offer, and if ya don't like it I'll go away and leave ya be." Except for sending Blacknail over with a big pile of food, because yikes. She makes a note to look into the food production here in more detail, see if she can't get the squig herds producing enough for everybody.

Permalink Mark Unread

The loud gretchin who yelled 'ORK!' from before pipes up again in a squeaky voice. "Liar! Ork only kick gretchin and force them to fight squigs for bets! If Ork leave is only to come back with big enough sack to put us all in!"

His buddy slaps him around the head again. "Ya think maybe ya get kicked so much is because ya cannot shut ya damn mouth!. Now Orks is noticing ya, ya daft krumpin idiot." 

Blacknail tries to convince his fellows with his palms out to show no aggression meant. "No! Boss is a weirdo strange Ork who is nice! Give me knife and let me shoot a shoota and tells me I gets my own shoota someday! Even shares food! Work for Boss and ya get perks! Not even asked me for a single toof in tribute! Not have to fight single squig for sport!" It is very obvious blacknail is very proud of his ork. Raised him since he left the pod a scant half-day ago. They grow up so fast.

Permalink Mark Unread

Blacknail is such a sweetheart. "Here's my offer. I'm looking for Gretchin who can get good with a shoota, to come on raids and hide inna back and shoot people. If you're willing to try it, I'll help you all get food and shootas, and if it works, we can all loot the corpses afterward." 

(At least, she hopes she can loot the corpses. She's uncomfortably aware that she's never actually seen anyone die violently and is very much hoping she doesn't lose her nerve as soon as that changes. But that is her problem to deal with and nobody else's.)

Permalink Mark Unread

A couple of gretchin nervously step forward. But it seems more like they are afraid of what she will do if they refuse than anything to do with trusting her offer. Loudmouth and his buddy stay back.

Maybe if she put her teef where her mouth was they'd have something more to go off of than just scary ork coming in and telling them what to do instincts.

Permalink Mark Unread

"I'm not hearing no, and you all clearly need food whether you're in or out. I'll be back with some in a bit and we can talk this over while we eat. Hey Blacknail, want to help me acquire a herd of squigs?" If she gets them set up with their own herd, they won't have to depend on her for food and the ones who don't turn out to be good markspeople will have something to do.

Permalink Mark Unread

"I waz squig herdin' before youz spawned and became me Boss. But tecni-key theyz belonged to an Ork and I'z had to take care of 'em or hed kick me. Won't whoever dem squigs belong to git mad? you ken always krump 'em and take dere squigs but Herdas tend to got big friends they pay with squig meat." Blacknail Isn't saying he won't help but he does look a little nervous at the prospect. Krumping random Boyz around base is fine because they are on the lowest rung. But special orks like oddboyz can provide services and so sometimes can have guards they can pay.

A lone Ork Isn't that hard to steal from as a very brave gretchin, you just have to run away fast enough and make sure no other orks are around. But getting chased by a whole group is heart attack inducingly terrifying (If gretchin could have heart attacks that is).