A young woman sleeps in her dormroom. It just so happens that today, the sixth of April, XXXX, is this young woman's first day of school. Though it was approximately fourteen years ago she was given life, it is only today she will be given a name!
What will the name of this young woman be?
>Examine room.
Your name is UTENA. As was previously mentioned it is your FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL. Draped over the chair at your desk is a BOY'S UNIFORM. You have a variety of INTERESTS. You have a fondness for MEN'S FASHION. You do a lot of RECURSIVE SELF IMPROVEMENT but you are NOT VERY GOOD AT IT. Your life's goal up to this point has been BECOMING A PRINCE. You would theoretically like to be doing POLITICAL SCHEMING but it's REALLY HARD TO GET INTO. In the meantime, you work on STUDYING MATH that you're not really sure you'll ever use for anything.
>Don uniform.
You pull on your uniform. God you look cool as fuck in this thing.
What was that sound? It seems someone is attempting to contact you on your ERA-APPROPRIATE PERSONAL COMMUNICATION DEVICE!
>Check smartphone.
You pull out your Android. You've got a Rosechord message from your very best friend in the entire world!
animatedAdoration [AA] poked gallantAristocrat [GA] at 07:37
AA: U~TE~NA! good morning!!!
AA: i hope you aren't sleeping in.... it's the first day of school~! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡
AA: my boyfriend is so sleepy......
AA: this is you and me (_ _)。゜zｚＺ (⸝⸝> ω <⸝⸝)
AA: i wonder whether our teachers think you'll be wearing a girl's uniform this year... loll
AA: what would you say about that. you would have some kind of quip about "prediction error" or something
AA: ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh WAKE UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
GA: good morning.
GA: you know I have my phone silenced literally 24/7 right
AA: YES FINALLY
AA: did you get the memo
AA: i actually realize i don't entirely know what a memo is! but did you get it. the thing about the new. e-learning thingy they're testing for the best students here
AA: i have literally no idea why i am in it but if im in it then surely my beloved mistress lady utena-sama is in it
GA: well I mean I just woke up and had a billion notifs from you so i havent checked my email or regular mail or anything. lemme check
AA: hehehehehehehe... you check my messages FIRST THING in the morning.. you scoundrel you
GA: okay yeah I got it. "SDORM" is such a weird fucking name tho like what the hell were they thinking. is that like, storm, but modified to have "dorm" in it? dorms are only tangentially related to education and storms are not at all, hardly a good choice of pun for educational software
GA: apparently there's a "buddy system". i guess whenever we set it up you can be my buddy
AA: since you offered, of course~
GA: anyways im gonna be late as hell if I don't get a move on. see you at school
AA: mwah
>Eat breakfast.
You don't have time for breakfast! You overslept, you'll have to suffer till lunchtime.
=======>
Wow that is a big arrow. Sorry, what?
You already have your uniform on, so you're basically entirely ready! Good thing you're a fast runner.
=======>
An institution dedicated to the tutelage of the brightest stars of Japan, a land named for the brightest star of all. Warm sea winds approach from the east, bringing dubious tidings of spring. The rising sun shimmers over the water, forcing you to squint.
As you make your way over stone bridges, up the school's many stairways, there is a tiny note of confusion that the seasons have never behaved as they should in this place. At times it seems winter when it is warm. Classes take the cycle for granted, yet you invariably fail to locate yourself within it. It is the first day of a new school year, and as with all school years preceding it, you have a vague sense that you are missing something about the world you find yourself in.
You have a feeling it's going to be a long day.
>Be the other girl.
You can't be the other girl yet. You are too busy being Utena, who is too busy having a RANDOM ENCOUNTER!
=======>
As you were entering the plaza, you witnessed a tall, green-haired young man strike a dark-skinned young woman with purple hair!
>Intervene.
You couldn't be considered a prince if you left a young lady in distress. Out of breath, you shout, "Hey! Stop that!"
...You wish you had said something more articulate. In any case, you insert yourself between the man and woman. Better for you to be hit than she.
=======>
The man regards you with barely-suppressed rage. "Who's this?" He grabs you by the wrist and yanks you to the side. You trip over yourself and fall to the ground. He grabs the woman again. You have to get up!
"That's enough." Another man, equal in stature but possessing bright red hair, places a heavy hand on Green-hair's shoulder. Green-hair snarls and wrenches himself away, then storms off. The woman trails him.
=======>
The red-haired man offers you his hand. You take it, and he helps you up. Still holding your hand, he kisses it. "Kiryuu Touga, Student Council President. I must give you my deepest apologies for my friend's brutish behavior. What might your name be?"
"Tenjou Utena. Please excuse me, I'll be late for class." You take your hand back sheepishly. You wish he didn't do that, but there's no way to object to it without being insanely rude. Time to cut your losses and get a move on.
>Be Kiryuu Touga.
Of course you're TOUGA. Who else would you be?
You are a young man with BLOOD-RED HAIR. You have a variety of STATUS MARKERS. As previously mentioned, you are the STUDENT COUNCIL PRESIDENT. You are also the HEIR of the KIRYUU DYNASTY. As a matter of course, you have been selected as one of THIRTEEN EXEMPLARY PUPILS to participate in an E-LEARNING EXPERIENCE the likes of which the world has never seen. You're a bit more boned-up on the details than your peers, since your MENTOR, the fourteenth participant, basically organized the entire thing. Not to mention a personal secret advantage even he might not know about.
And your mentor? Let's just say... he's in HIGH PLACES.
>Touga: Embark upon Kiryuu Touga activities.
What sort of activities are those? You're basically a regular student during school hours. Unlike the beautiful girl you've just encountered, you have nowhere to be. Your first period of the day is free, thanks to someone making an intercession on your behalf. You shoot your friend a message on Rosechord.
chummyAdonis [CA] poked tenableArrogation [TA] at 07:42
CA: Your brutishness granted me a splendid opportunity to make a first impression on a fine young woman.
CA: Had you the wherewithal to look away from the Rose Bride for but a moment, perhaps you would have hesitated to strike her so.
CA: Or perhaps that would have only encouraged you, in light of how you treat the Rose Bride.
TA: I thought I blocked you.
CA: Old chum.
CA: Don't you understand how this world works?
CA: You can never avoid the well-connected.
TA: Leave me alone, you insane, obsessed bastard.
CA: I'm afraid not. You received word that we will be beginning SDORM today, yes? You'll be my buddy.
TA: I will be with the Rose Bride.
TA: Obviously.
CA: Such naïveté.
CA: I've seen it in the clouds.
CA: You'll be my buddy.tenableArrogation [TA] blocked chummyAdonis [CA] at 07:46
>Touga: Check other messages.
You have approximately seventy notifications from your beloved sister. Like a good brother, you check them.
covetousCupidity [CC] poked chummyAdonis [CA] at 07:31
[snip]
CC: and that woman said to me, "Miss, you can't do that. You're not allowed to do that." and I TOLD her, directly and forthrightfully, that I am a KIRYUU and I may act as I please.
CC: Can you believe the nerve of some people these days?
CC: truly, onii-sama, you've got to be more careful with the women you're talking to
CC: they are treacherous. they will manipulate you and leave you out to dry!
CC: I can't emphasize that enough. Please be sure to get my approval of any woman you seek to court.
CA: Good morning, Nanami.
CA: Have you received word about SDORM?
CC: ONII-SAMA!
CC: Yes. You'll be with me, of course :)
CA: Nanami... I'm afraid I won't be able to do that.
CC: What?? You haven't chosen another girl? Was it that woman with the orange hair??? I knew I shouldn't have let you be around her... she's a dangerous woman! You can't trust her!
CA: No. I will be buddies with my vice-president.
CC: Doesn't he have that strange, unpleasant woman he's obsessed with already? Please just be "buddies" with me instead, onii-sama! Surely it will be more pleasant.
CC: Without you, who will pair with me?
CC: It couldn't be! Are you going to force me to go with that strange woman? I could never!
CA: You'll have to find your own buddy. I have it on good authority that you won't have any issues. In fact, it will happen no matter what you do. No need to worry about being left behind.
CC: Left behind...? Onii-sama, please just be my "buddy!"
>Touga: Be the brown-haired girl.
You're not sure who the brown-haired girl is. Lots of girls have brown hair. You've enjoyed the company of many girls of that description. It's ordinary.
>Touga: Be the green-haired boy.
The green-haired boy is too angry right now for you to be him.
>Touga: Be your little sister.
Your name is NANAMI.
At the present moment, you are sitting in homeroom. You have a single INTEREST. That interest is your BIG BROTHER. He is THE PERFECT MAN and it is utterly unacceptable that any other woman could ever have him. Really, it's EXCESSIVELY MAGNANIMOUS of you even to permit other women to lay eyes on him. You have a variety of DIS-INTERESTS. As previously mentioned, you are disinterested in the wellbeing of any woman who attempts to steal your beloved brother. You are disinterested in the wellbeing of that strange woman the green-haired man is obsessed with. You're filling up with RAGE just thinking about her. This rage is PROBABLY UNRELATED to the fact your brother is neglecting you, as usual. Oh, how you wish you could run away with him, enjoy a SYLVAN LANDSCAPE together where there are no STRUMPETS to interfere!
>Nanami: Screech like a harpy and vomit on your neighbor's book.
Really, now! A lady like you would never be so improper! Perhaps you can take out your feelings on the light-blue-haired boy in question, though. He's sitting to your right!
>Nanami: Talk to the blue-haired boy.
You address him without preamble. "You may need to be my 'buddy' for SDORM. My brother says he's abandoning me. We'll see about that, but you shouldn't make any promises to anyone else, in case he's obstinate about it."
He doesn't look up from his book. "Sorry, Nanami-kun, my sister has dibs."
"She's being permitted to participate? She's hardly as illustrious as you or me."
He pokes the inside of his cheek with his tongue, still staring into his book. "Go figure."
You harrumph. "I'm starting to get a bad feeling about this whole thing. Maybe I shouldn't participate. Maybe neither of us should participate."
"And miss out on the chance of 'a great way to make connections in high places' and a 'bonding experience of a lifetime' with your brother? Be serious, Nanami-kun."
You only growl at him.
>Nanami: Try to come up with a scheme to fix this situation.
You decide it's time for some good old-fashioned sabotage. You pull up Rosechord and crack your knuckles dramatically.
=======>
First, let's ensure the green-haired man isn't getting any ideas.
covetousCupidity [CC] poked tenableArrogation [TA] at 07:56
CC: Senpai, I heard that that purple-haired woman is planning to break up with you and date another man she's planning to pair with in SDORM today. Please don't tell anyone I told you this.
CC: My brother is an accomplice. He's so envious of what you have with her, he's willing to tear her away from you even if it means he cannot have her himself!
CC: Whatever you do, make sure you 'buddy' with her! It's the only way you'll keep her.
TA: Must the entire Kiryuu household fill my DMs with inanity this morning? Shall I await missives from your mother and father, haranguing me about something even less comprehensible?
TA: Don't worry your little head about it. I will be with the Rose Bride. You'll have your fool of an older brother all to yourself.
TA: Never message me again.tenableArrogation [TA] blocked covetousCupidity [CC] at 08:00
He's as immovable as ever, good.
=======>
Next, you'll work on securing your backup.
covetousCupidity [CC] poked godforsakenCreature [GC] at 08:01
CC: I just spoke with your brother.
CC: Is it true you'll be paired with him for SDORM today?
GC: uhhh no
GC: why would i do that
CC: Oh! From what he said it sounded like you were. Never mind, then. Carry on!
GC: did he tell you we were
CC: I believe his words were "my sister has dibs".
GC: oh
GC: yeah thats the sort of thing he would say
GC: but yeah no
GC: literally anyone but him is fine idgaf
>Nanami: Be the other little sister.
Okay, you're only barely his little sister, you're twins! But sure. Your name is KOZUE.
You are a young woman with BLUE HAIR. Not LIGHT BLUE, like your brother's, but a more neutral shade. You have a variety of INTERESTS. You have a fondness for MAKING YOUR BROTHER UNCOMFORTABLE. You can play PIANO, but you BASICALLY NEVER ACTUALLY BOTHER. You enjoy FLIRTING WITH ROGUISH BOYS where your brother can see. In your off time, you like AVOIDING ALL DIRECT CONVERSATION with your brother. All this takes up an incredible quantity of time and effort and you haven't been able to keep up with any of your other hobbies for several years as a result. At least you're nothing like that insane bitch Nanami.
At the moment, you are SKIPPING CLASS. You don't actually mind attending, learning is kind of neat and you're pretty good at it, but if you skip often enough then your teacher will bug your brother about it. Talk about perverse incentives.
>Kozue: Text a boy.
Nanami texting you actually just gave you a great idea for how to fuck with both her and your brother at once. You tab into someone else's DMs and let your thumbs fly around the screen on autopilot.
godforsakenCreature [GC] poked chummyAdonis [CA] at 08:04
GC: heyy
GC: so im in the SDORM thing and i was wondering if you wanted to pair up since we've been talking a lot lately but haven't had too many chances to hang out
GC: figure im probably more fun company than any of the other losers in this thing
CA: Ah, Kozue-chan.
CA: You'll have to accept my apologies. I've already promised my good friend we could be buddies.
CA: I truly would enjoy your company more than his, but fate averts itself for no man.
GC: ok
That's a wash. What a weird guy.
>Kozue: Text a girl.
If you can't get paired with anyone you know, may as well keep your idiot brother from nobly forcing you to pair with him by refusing any other musical chair. You don't really want to talk to him, though.
godforsakenCreature [GC] poked anguishmentGangster [AG] at 08:10
GC: hey senpai
GC: can you like
GC: be 'buddies' with my brother for the SDORM thing
GC: if he protests tell him i said it was okay or I already have one or something
AG: Why not tell him yourself?
GC: well you know
GC: it's rude
AG: I don't follow.
GC: it's hard to explain
GC: can you just
GC: do it
AG: Fine. It's all the same anyways. You owe me, though.
GC: that's our school mafia boss! thanks
>Kozue: Be your brother.
Your name is MIKI.
Holy SHIT do you love BOOKS.
The instant you have a free moment, you're DROWNING OUT ANY OPPORTUNITY FOR INTERNAL MONOLOGUE by the handy leverage of SOMEONE ELSE'S WORDS. Right now you're reading one about the history of MAGES, OR SOMETHING? How metatextually convenient! When you're not immersed in BIBLIOGRAPHIC SCRAWLS, you like to play PIANOFORTE, AS IT WERE. But there's a certain JE NE SAIS QUOI that's been absent from your playing ever since LONG, LONG AGO.
And, well, you kind of buried the lede with all this jibberjabber. Your MIND is pretty incredible. You're a regular boy genius, in fact!
Your first class of the day ended just a few moments ago, and now you're free for a bit! Early free periods are perks of being STUDENT COUNCIL SECRETARY. Your phone buzzes.
>Miki: Check phone.
Oh, it's your friend slash senpai! Something about practice tomorrow, maybe?
anguishmentGangster [AG] poked glitteranceTentative [GT] at 09:47
AG: Hey Miki-kun.
AG: We're gonna be a pair for SDORM today, kay?
GT: Senpai! My sister has dibs.
AG: She told me she's already got someone, and asked me to pair with you.
GT: Oh. Okay. Nice of her I suppose.
AG: So I've been doing the reading on SDORM and we should probably relocate to your house and just get things started.
GT: What about class? Why at my house?
AG: Being in a home environment appears to be more convenient, and your house is closer than mine. We are almost certainly going to be exempt from classes today. I'll leave it at that.
GT: Alright. Meet you there in 10?
AG: Yep.
Well that's something. Guess you better hustle.
>Miki: Get a move on.
The move on is begotten! Gotten. Eugh, you've gotten near-instant semantic satiation for "gotten".
You arrive at your house. Your orange-haired senpai is already there.
=======>
She surveys your living room. "Alright. I'll explain SDORM, and then we'll get started."
SDORM is pretty simple.
Pairs of players install the app on their phones. After choosing a buddy, a player's buddy becomes known as their bunkmate. Bunkmates can view each other at any time on their phones, and manipulate each other's environments. When initially connected, you'll see the usual machines you've come to know and love - the totem lathe, the alchemiter, the pre-punched card... but look closely! The cruxtruder has been replaced with a new and improved DICRUXTRUDER, with double the cruxite dowels, and two sprites!
In previous versions of SDORM, whether players shared a session was determined through long, closed chains, in which one player acted as server for another player, who in turn acted as server for yet another, and so on, until the final player acted as server for the original player. Rest easy, we're out of the stone ages! With the latest version, the SDORM app may be pre-patched by institutions pre-distribution to ensure all their students arrive to the same session. Mechanics dependent on the "order" of server-client connections will now be automatically assigned by advanced artificial intelligence.
>Miki: Where were we?
"Makes sense! Shall we, then?"
"We shall."
You pair your phone with senpai's and deploy the DICRUXTRUDER. The timer on it reads...
=======>
Senpai picks up the ottoman. You're about to ask what on earth she's doing, but she tosses it onto the dicruxtruder and two dowels, along with two glowing orbs pop out. One is blue, the other orange. Complementary colors!
=======>
She turns to you. "We'll need to find some sort of interesting item to "prototype" these sprites with." She gestures to the orbs. "I hope you don't mind if I have a look around?" She exits the room with the orange orb following her.
>Miki: Decide on something good to prototype.
Hmmm. You're not entirely sure. Maybe one of those cute matching cups you and your sister have? You're about to take yours out of the cabinet when you hear a crash and-
"FUCK! SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK?"
>Miki: Check on Senpai.
You run over to the room where you heard the crash. "Are you okay?"
Senpai is sitting on the ground. "Marginally. I tripped, and..." She gestures above her, gazing fixedly at the floor. "It swooped in. The asshole."
You look above her. The orange orb now appears to have the image of a closed locket within it.
=======>
Your name is JURI.
You've had a long, stressful day. Sleep no longer bears the reprieve it once did, and with the THEFT of that option, you're not sure how to handle yourself. You certainly HOPE that this game gives you some kind of way to turn off the stupid dreaming feature.
You have a variety of INTERESTS. Fencing, and, her, and, beauty, you guess. Look you sandwiched it in the middle but the real problem here is that when you're conscious for more than 14 hours you start thinking about HER. A game that disables your ability to be unconscious is a fucking atrocity. Especially when, upon having a look around the moon your dream self woke upon, you discovered SHE was there. Still asleep. Imagine what a nightmare it'll be when she wakes up.
=======>
That fucking sprite. It talks in some facsimile of her voice. It sounds less like the way she sounds in real life, and more the way she sounds in your head. So fucking embarrassing to have bullshit from your head out where anyone can see it. You don't want to do your planet quests, or whatever. You're a club and community leader, not someone who signed up to do coming-of-age adventure bullshit.
"Miki?"
"Yes, Juri-senpai?"
"Please go on without me. I need some time to myself."
"Got it."
He bounds up to the roof of his house, gives you a little wave, and enters the portal down to your shared Land.
