"What?"

"I want to subsidize a miracle for you."

"..................................What kind of miracle?"

"Okay, so, look at that musical. I want to pay for you to bring the Chelish constitutional convention to see it. And anyone else with a face or a name who'd like to."

"...Nearly all humans have faces."

"I can point them out to you."

Well. It's a pretty great musical, and Nethys is paying for it.

And then nearly every person attending the Chelish constitutional convention (along with a few other people) is in a theater, except a few people Nethys identified as likely to disrupt the show and refused to subsidize.

The music starts, and the actors begin to perform Les Misérables.

This is seriously alarming and she'd probably be among those disrupting the show at least to Sending Elie and ask if he set this up except her fiancé's right here and she doesn't want him wondering how she has a Sending.

Are they performing this musical in the English language? She doesn't speak that one.

Oh, Nethys paid for a Tongues affecting everyone in the room. He said it would be "more interesting" that way, whatever that means to a god.

This isn't even the most confusing thing to happen in the last twenty-four hours.

... What? Where is this? Why is everyone -

Oh, this is way better than the dreams where she's on the stage playing confusing mishmashes of her past roles, thank you for getting through to Desna about that Shelyn!

Huh, they're in a theater? He'd rather watch people fight lions, but this is way more fun than the boring speeches people were giving just now.

Out of all the random not-the-convention-hall locations in all of Creation, many of which are the ocean, or the woods, or random fields of barley, or the vacuum of space, they have been apparently transported miraculously to another example of indoors.

Of the several thousand random concerning situations that Blai has, however briefly, wargamed out in his head so far today, this was not one of them. Where is the nearest paladin he can copy a response from.

Marit was sitting two seats over from him before, but now is not present at all, apparently.

She has no idea what she's supposed to be doing! Maybe she's dead? Is this Axis, she wasn't expecting to make Axis — probably the scary wizards are doing some sort of illusion—

Oh, for fuck's sake, now they have to deal with whatever this is?

Oh, this looks like a play! But in a real theater, not the street play she saw when she arrived. She's not really sure why the archmage is bringing them to a play in the middle of the convention but she might as well enjoy it while she's here.

Jilia has no idea why this is happening (or why she's here without any of her other people) but she can keep an even keel and try to work it out.

This is...confusing...but hey, what kind of cleric of Desna would she be if she turned down an opportunity to be in a new place? 

Also the music is quite good. 

Antoni has no idea who is powerful enough to kidnap the entire convention and stands to gain from doing so, and that's — terrifying, actually—

—haven't told me when my trial will be, but if You know — uh — what — I'm sorry, that wasn't supposed to be part of the prayer, but I'm very confused—

Meaning no disrespect to the Archmage, has he considered that letting them write a constitution would be more productive than teleporting them to watch some sort of Galtan theatrical production.

I guess if anyone talks during the show I'll tell on them?

His god really is the best god.

(Because obviously a cleric of Nethys would know the premise of whatever omake they’re in, as long as they also know enough decision theory* to not prematurely spoil it for everyone else)

*which, as of 30 seconds ago, he does

As Long as the Badgers are Entertained I am Strongly in Favor, Eriape thinks

The musical opens on a group of convicts who have been sentenced to some form of hard labor. One of the convicts, Jean Valjean, is released from his sentence after nineteen years — five for stealing a loaf of bread to feed a starving relative, and fourteen for trying to escape — to be supervised by a Watch member named Javert. He starts trying to find work and shelter, but when he presents the papers indicating that he is a convicted criminal on parole, they turn him away, attempt to stiff him for work he's already done, or in some cases attack him.

Eventually, a local priest offers him food and shelter for the night. Valjean accepts, but in the middle of the night, he steals some valuable silver cookery and flees. He is almost immediately rearrested and dragged back before the priest, having attempted to defend himself by claiming that the priest gave him the silver willingly. The priest confirms this story to the watchmen and tells Valjean that in his haste to leave he must have accidentally forgotten a pair of silver candlesticks, which were even more valuable than the rest of what he'd taken. The watchmen departs; Valjean attempts to return the silver, but the bishop tells him that he should use the silver to "become an honest man" and says that he has bought Valjean's soul for God. (The specific god in question is unspecified.)

Valjean sings a solo about the events that just happened, as well as the preceding two decades that shaped him into the sort of person to do this kind of thing, culminating in him deciding to start a new life and ripping up the papers marking him as a criminal.

Oh wow. (Good job Unspecified Religion Priest for not being up your ass about Law, it's working really well for you here.)

They're going to find out what happened to his sister and his nephew at some point, right? Probably the nephew will show up as an important character later on, it's been nineteen years so he's a grownup now. You don't leave it that vague if the kid died.

This guy is making his soul extremely expensive. It's certainly nice of the priest to try to buy it - so to speak, he assumes that's a sort of careless way to put it to make it metrical in this language and the priest is not literally claiming to own the soul? - but it is not efficient. Maybe unless this takes place in a setting where prophecy works. Probably it sometimes made sense to do things like this when prophecy worked.

(It doesn't really occur to Blai to identify with Jean Valjean. His misdeeds vastly outstrip a stolen loaf of bread and are thoroughly different in character from an escape attempt, and his ongoing badge of reformedness is much more convincing and to completely different people than is that piece of yellow paper.)

It seems pretty valid not to hire the guy you know is a criminal who keeps getting into fights with other workers, honestly. Especially given the thing where the first thing he does when someone takes a chance on him is steal from a church!!!

This would be more exciting if people were actually getting hurt in the fistfights, but it's still pretty exciting! He wouldn't have expected a bunch of singing to be this fun.

Fernando is studying the musical intently!  Whoever teleported them here (probably the Archmage) probably had some grand intent behind it, why use a (mass greater?) teleport otherwise.

It seems a standardly neutral Good message?  Not really Iomedaen, they would be more efficient about saving a soul, but still Good.  If someone gave Fernando a load of money he could pay off his debt then pay to free the people he’s sold into indentures and pay off the debt he resold to the Abadaran and he’d probably clear Lawful Neutral pretty comfortably.

Who the fuck kidnaps a guy for trying to feed his family? Someone needs to drop this Javert guy on some sharp rocks. Except, no, there's no point in doing that when apparently whatever the fuck is going on with those pieces of paper suggest that this is a Human Civilization Being Fucked Up problem, not a specific isolated bad actors problem. The bit with the candlesticks is sort of confusing, but she understands the part where the priest lies to protect Valjean. Good job, priest, your civilization is fucked up but you're cool. 

Why doesn't the guy simply stop showing people the Symbol of Hate Me Now. It seems to be causing him a lot of problems.

As a matter of general policy, it seems unwise at best to lie to the government to cover for a violent convict who just attempted to steal from a church, however sympathetic his original crimes may have been.

Lisandro likes the music, that first song was catchy, but he isn’t sure about the plot. 

Either this is something more complicated than the typical Andorani redemption narrative, or it’s a really novice one. Can’t have a proper turn-from-evil moment if your hero has only ever done good things for good reasons. That’s something total novices do when they’re afraid to show their precious hero doing any actual evil. 

This is still in the first act, though, so likely it’s something more complicated. Looks like it might even be a story about how lying to the authorities is often good, actually. Those are great!

(Lisandro is only paying attention to the play because detect magic didn’t show anything intelligible. He could try arcane sight instead, but that spell makes his eyes glow, and so would be very rude to cast in a theater.)

Jordi has never had good seats at an opera before, where he could actually hear everything. He’s engrossed in the show, really hoping Jean manages to get away with it and start a new life. 

He's been spending nearly all his waking hours praying, the past few days. He starts to pray for Valjean's soul before remembering that this is a story, Valjean's soul isn't actually in danger.

Sending someone to the... galleys?... for nineteen years because they stole one loaf of bread to feed their family is fucked up! Back home they'd have probably just cut off some of their fingers or something. But stealing from a random Good church that didn't have anything to do with sending you to the galleys is also fucked up, and she's definitely expecting the priest will just tell the Watch what happened—

—maybe the priest just... doesn't think it was that bad? Or wasn't bad enough that the man deserves to go back to the galleys? Stealing is usually wrong but it's not as bad as, like, murdering innocent people, or anything like that.

He kind of reminds her of Feliu, when he explained to her that burning down the school would make it harder to track down the Asmodeans running it and told her she'd do better next time, even though it's really not the same situation at all.

And then he's singing by himself, and—

And have I fallen so far and is the hour so late

That nothing remains but the cry of my hate?

Take an eye for an eye

Turn your heart into stone 

This is all I have lived for

This is all I have known

He told me that I have a soul

How does he know?

What spirit comes to move my life?

Is there another way to go?

—There is really no reason at all for this to be upsetting, only her chest is getting all twisty, and some part of her keeps trying to cry like she's a child—

She kind of despises all redemption narratives. In the real world you just go on and nothing is ever forgiven though eventually everyone who remembers it is dead and the best you can do is not do it again.

This Jean guy seems like an asshole. There are places you compromise your principles but robbing someone because they gave you a gift really feels like it should be way down on the list.

Is this what Andoren opera is like? Maybe it does end up bland.

Why. Why is this happening. Why is this overlong exploration about the horrors of civilization and food scarcity being expressed to her through song. If you want to tell a story or a parable, just do that. Don't... do all of this. What is the point of all of the this??? There is so much this.

The civilized world is so fucking weird.

Timeskip! Valjean is now a wealthy factory owner and mayor of a small town. The factory workers are mostly very poor. The factory's foreman attempts to get one of the workers, Fantine, to have sex with him, which she refuses. Another factory worker steals a letter from Fantine and reads it out to the rest of the workers, revealing that Fantine secretly has a child, Cosette, and is paying another family to take care of her. Fantine and the other woman get into a physical fight over the letter, which is interrupted by Valjean, who asks the factory's foreman to sort it out. Fantine and the other woman argue about Fantine's sexual decisions; ultimately, the foreman fires her.

Fantine sings a solo about how she used to be hopeful and optimistic and has since realized that this was A Mistake, and also her ex was an asshole. She tries desperately to earn enough money to pay for her daughter's care, and ultimately ends up becoming a prostitute.

A man approaches Fantine and attempts to hire her. She refuses him; he gets violently angry, tells her that prostitutes have no right to refuse anyone, and attacks her. She fights back, and he declares that he intends to make her "suffer" for it. She immediately apologizes and begs him not to report her to the Watch, but he ignores her and summons Javert. Javert immediately assumes the man is in the right and Fantine is in the wrong, even before hearing the man's incomplete and highly misleading explanation of what happened. Fantine begs for mercy, saying that her child needs her; Javert doesn't care. 

Valjean shows up, says that he believes Fantine, and declares that she should be taken to a doctor rather than arrested. Javert is unhappy about this. Valjean belatedly recognizes Fantine, sort of; she gets upset at him and spits in his face. Valjean declares that he never intended this outcome when he intervened in the factory, and has her taken to the hospital over Javert's objections.

This is why women need people willing to perform assassinations on their behalf!  Thea isn’t sure how to fit that in with being lawful neutral and devoted to Irori… maybe she can support women in need and outsource the actual assassinations to Calistrians.  Unfortunately Victoria seemed kind of opposed to assassinations, maybe Thea should network with some other Calistrians?

Victòria is in favor of assassinating this particular asshole, actually! She's confused about a lot of things in this part (why is everyone treating Fantine like a whore even before she actually becomes one?? Trusting that her boyfriend would stay with her was a dumb idea, but it doesn't seem like the same thing at all) but she is not at all confused about the idea that the guy singing about how he has the right to force himself on any whore he pleases deserves to get stabbed for it. She's rooting desperately for Fantine when she attacks him — and of course it doesn't work, and of course the Watchman doesn't listen—

...Obviously whores shouldn't be allowed to just back out of doing their job? Conradí doesn't even go to whorehouses, he's had no trouble finding women to fuck without needing to drop money on it, but if the whores can just change their mind that defeats the entire point of them. (It has not even slightly occurred to him that there might be parallels between his behavior and Fantine's ex.)

Should have said yes and then bitten his dick off. It's what Voshrelka would have done.

Not that she would have been anywhere near any of this situation in the first place. On account of absolutely never having a child, ever, with anyone, and even if she did she'd find a competent family that would accept the child as their own without bribery, and if she couldn't she would then have killed the child as a babe, and run off into the woods where the rules are 'If you eat regularly and nothing kills you, you're doing great.' She supposes that if she cared about some random child that did not have the misfortune of coming out of her womb she might, at best, take the child with her into the woods.

But Voshrelka does not like children.

This whore is awfully touchy about being called a whore.

This music-play is making city folk seem very stupid. Of course you shouldn't trust a strange man's assurances just because he says he'll never leave you, if you aren't even married.

Jonatan really wishes he understood what the archmage was hoping to convince people of, or for that matter what lessons the commons were going to take away from it. "Consistent enforcement of the law is bad?" "Prostitution ought to be outlawed for the sake of the virtue of both sexes?"

Liushna is still deeply baffled by human sexual behavior. Why would you...want...to run out on your significant other...or fuck a stranger...

But these behaviors, while still inexplicable, are not new to her. Everyone except Valjean and Fantine needs to be sat down by...humans don't have Rokoa...their grandmothers and have some sense scolded into them. Maybe Valjean and Fantine too, they're not making amazing life choices, but better than the people around them!

(Elie is among the people who would be panicking except Nefreti, when dropping off the children from babysitting, says, 'oh, there's a play that Shelyn wanted to show the convention! She'll invite you too as long as you are a well-behaved audience member and don't take it as Geb kidnapping you!')

A runaway cart runs through the middle of the city, trapping someone under it. Valjean ignores the protestations of the bystanders that it's too heavy and too dangerous and personally rescues the trapped man. Javert is shocked by his unusual strength, and tells him that he reminds him of the missing convict Jean Valjean. However, he also tells Valjean that he could not possibly be Jean Valjean, because the real Jean Valjean has just been rearrested, and is set to be tried and sent back later that very same day.

Valjean agonizes about what to do about this, but ultimately decides to turn himself in to save the falsely accused man, running into the courtroom in the middle of the trial, revealing his true identity, and partially removing his shirt to reveal the brand on his chest that marks him as a convict. (He then flees.)

He — she — she could have—

Can I condemn this man to slavery?
Pretend I do not feel his agony?
This innocent who wears my face
Who goes to judgеment in my place

—only she can, she did—

This is all extremely affecting and Laia's fully weeping about it but she can't figure out how it helps Fantine at all for another family to be raising her child! Is the policy at her job that you can't work there if you have a child? What is the point of that policy? Or is it that she's not married, except why didn't she just pretend to be a widow if that was it?

Raimon's grabbing the armrests of this sproingy velvety theater seat really hard throughout the part where Fantine's a whore. He doesn't start shouting at her to work indoors, because he's aware she's an actor, but GIRL, WORK INDOORS.

Lluc didn't WANT to leave his girl with the babies and no man around to take care of them. He was KIDNAPPED. He decides that probably Cosette's dad was also kidnapped because otherwise what does this play have to do with anything.

Blai was sort of expecting a running theme of theft in sympathetic circumstances and is surprised when Fantine turns prostitute instead of pickpocket but it's not a narratively satisfying sort of surprise.

--It's--

It should be irresponsible of Valjean to turn himself in to save a stranger. But...it's not. If his sister and nephew are still alive, he hasn't reconnected with them--presumably--and if he has any other kin then the play hasn't seen fit to bring them up. 

It's sad, of course, tragic, that he doesn't have any of his own heart's people who are relying on him to the point where he has to stay free for them. 

But...

Since he doesn't...

The self-sacrifice on behalf of someone he doesn't even know is deeply moving. 

He did not cry when he turned himself in to face justice. It's kind of ridiculous that he's crying now.

She's still so confused about what she's supposed to believe! People should turn themselves in for crimes but it's okay if they run away afterwards? Maybe it's some kind of test, and they're not supposed to just agree with it?

So we will get to see Valjean executed? Excellent.

The budget for this looks pretty high so they could probably afford an actual convict for the scene and not just do something lame with blood and minor illusions. 

(She isn't clear how she got here from the seminary, or what time has passed. But everyone else in the room seems to be sitting watching calmly, so she will too. A Chosen has to maintain her Dignity.

Maybe this is Egorian where she's a respected priest and she's just momentarily forgotten the intervening years. Or maybe this is some kind of lesson arranged by her Lord. Visions aren't unheard of, though they're supposed to be rare. She always knew she was special.)

The message is clearly that places without the strong hand of Asmodeus are terrible for everyone. The convict was let out for no reason and did more crimes. The Good priest is a sentimental idiot who'll run out of silver in a week. The women are pathetic and the country is obviously too poor and Lawless to have orphanages. Even the lawman isn't enjoying himself.

Its a bit heavy handed for her tastes to be honest, but the production quality makes up for it. And sometimes you need to be blunt to get the message across to the peasants and dumber nobles. 

Valjean returns to the hospital where Fantine has taken ill and is having delirious visions of Cosette. She asks Valjean to care for Cosette once she's dead, and he swears that he will take her in and protect her. Fantine dies. Immediately after this, Javert shows up to confront Valjean! Valjean begs him to give him three days to ensure that Cosette is cared for, but Javert refuses, saying that men like Valjean can never change. They argue in a duet (audience members particularly good at following the voices may catch that Javert was "born inside a jail"), and Valjean pledges to bring up Cosette. The two of them fight, but Valjean manages to overpower Javert and escape.

The next scene starts with a small child on stage. She sings unhappily about her imagined ideal life and reveals herself to be Cosette. A woman comes in, yells at her, and complains about how Fantine isn't sending her enough money and she should never have taken her inn. She then sends her to fetch water from a well in the woods, ignoring her objections. Meanwhile, another young girl, Eponine, shows up; the woman treats her much more kindly, and uses her to insult Cosette by comparison. The inn fills up with customers, and the woman's husband (Thénardier) sing about how how he's a "totally" "honest" "businessman" (it quickly becomes clear that he is not.) Madame Thénardier comes back and sings about how much she hates her husband, for reasons entirely unrelated to the fact that he's a scammer.

Valjean finds Cosette in the woods and brings her back to the Thénardier's inn to negotiate her adoption. The Thénardiers attempt, badly, to pretend that they actually like Cosette, express concern that Valjean might have ill intentions towards her, and then immediately let her go as soon as he offers them a lot of money.

The musical is treating the woman Thénardier like she's a really bad parent, but as far as Victòria can tell she's being way nicer than most parents would be? She never even hit Cosette.

(Also, wow, Javert sucks. She hopes he gets what's coming to him.)

She's sending a child into the forest alone? Is she trying to get her killed?

Okay, that fight scene was pretty good. The singing is actually pretty great, maybe the gladiatorial games can start having singing too.

Presumably Fantine took care of Cosette for long enough to somehow - for some reason - give her the idea that it's normal to expect a life where you don't do any chores? Study hard and learn Unseen Servant and until then shut up, Cosette. (Seriously, though, Fantine obviously does not know Unseen Servant. Unless her spellbook got fucked up at some point? Maybe actually this plot makes complete sense if Fantine was a wizard and lost her spellbook.)

This innkeeper must not be watering the wine nearly as much as he thinks he is if none of his customers are sober enough to notice he's robbing them and shank him for it. Is the audience supposed to be able to figure out how Fantine's related to the Thenardiers? They seem like an extremely random choice of foster family if Fantine's not either of their sister or anything.

Why would you swear an oath to raise a child while the law is after you? Even if you have Lawful reasons to be opposing formal law enforcement (Valjean... doesn't obviously...?) then you have to acknowledge that it's at least inconvenient to the project of raising a child. Maybe chaotic people just swear oaths for dramatic effect and actually he means that he would really like to go raise the child but this might fall through for any or no reason.

Maybe Cosette was a city girl before Fantine gave her up, and is struggling to get used to rural chores like fetching water from the well in the woods. You have to abbreviate a lot of stuff to fit a plot this temporally extended into a reasonable runtime. These actors could maybe have used a workshop on portraying physical punishment without impairing the recipient actor, though, she'd be buying the emotional notes from Cosette here more intensely if she were singing all this after getting beaten.

How much is this currency worth, Laia is curious if Cosette is more expensive than she was.

Run away into the woods, little girl! Stiff them their water AND never deal with them again! You don't even need a coat in the present fictional weather!

(It's pretty unclear! Fantine sold her hair for ten francs, and her locket for five of an unspecified currency, and the Thénardiers are complaining that Fantine only sent them ten francs, but it seems like that was part of an ongoing relationship rather than a one-time payment. Valjean offers 1500 of an unspecified currency for Cosette, so if all of those are the same currency he probably paid about three hundred times the cost of a locket, but the musical doesn't actually say for sure.)

Yeah, Laia wasn't nearly that expensive. Has Valjean considered stealing Cosette.

Yeah, Cosette, you had your out! Just run away into the woods and avoid all of this insanity!

Cosette should toughen up. Boo hoo, nobody loves you, everyone abuses you, are we supposed to feel sorry for you?

Ah, there's a Law and Good thing going on. With a bunch of ordinary Neither to be the backdrop.

Why would you be married to someone you hate. What is Javert on, that he thinks it's a bad thing for someone to not change from...being really determined to feed their family...

There's another timeskip,¹ and now we are in Paris, France! (Those among the audience more familiar with Galtan architecture may recognize "Paris" as a particularly unsubtle stand-in for Isarn.) Gavroche, a child even by Chelish standards, introduces the audience to the Paris streets, which are full of desperate beggars. There are unclear references to some sort of previous revolution; however, with the exception of a single man, who has apparently taken ill, the new leadership doesn't seem to particularly care about urban poverty either. Some wealthier students, who as of yet do not have names, speculate that there might be another revolution soon.

The Thénardiers, who apparently live here now, attempt to plan a robbery, with the help of Eponine (who is now an adult) and some miscellaneous other people. Eponine flirts with one of the students, who as yet does not have a name. Valjean and Adult Cosette enter. The student bumps into Cosette and gets distracted by her appearance. Meanwhile, Thénardier starts attempting to con Valjean, before recognizing him, attacking him, and ripping his shirt, exposing the number branded into his skin. Javert shows up to disperse the fight and promises to see justice done to Thénardier and his gang. While he berates Thénardier's gang, Valjean and Cosette sneak away. Javert is confused about why such a fine upstanding gentleman would have disappeared, but Thénardier informs him that the man must be a criminal, given the brand he saw. 

Javert speculates that Valjean might secretly be Valjean in disguise. He sings a solo about his general philosophy and his unwavering dedication to seeing Valjean arrested once again.

Eponine, having recognized and remembered Cosette, sings about their childhood together. The student from earlier asks Eponine about Cosette, and for her help finding her again. Eponine initially attempts to deflect, but eventually agrees.

¹ This performance also includes some lyrics from here that are not present in the previous link.

...She's pretty sure she's supposed to disagree with Javert, for some reason, only does that mean she's supposed to support the city-bandits? Maybe she's supposed to believe that stealing is Good, but she's not sure if she can.

Ooooooh they're setting up a love triangle!

Blai is not clear on what the narrative would like the politicians to think/feel/do about poverty? What are Lamarque's actual policies that are so populistically appealing here? Is he trying to do something to address whatever led apparently stable if dishonest innkeepers to move to the city and become thieves even after their tremendous financial windfall? Maybe this is all clearer if you're Galtan and know who Lamarque is a stand-in for.

If you're hoping to accomplish anything by branding criminals why are you doing it on a part of the body it's completely socially acceptable to cover up at all times?

Why does Eponine recognize Cosette and not vice-versa? There's startlingly little information about their relationship here considering that it's clearly about to be a big deal; they got a faceful of the parent Thenardiers and their attitude toward Cosette and not a thing about whether the two girls are - sisters? Rivals? Indifferent to each other and Eponine just never forgets a face? Perhaps it'll come clear.

The students from earlier, led by an attractive young man named Enjolras, gather in a café and sing about their imminent planned revolution. The student who was flirting with Cosette, whose name is apparently Marius, shows up and starts talking about his crush on Cosette. The other revolutionaries make fun of him for caring about romance when they have a revolution to fight. (Whoever wrote this musical must have really failed to think through the symbolism; the revolutionaries clearly aren't Asmodean but there's a whole motif about their colors being red and black.)

While they're doing that, Gavroche arrives and informs everyone that Lamarque has died. The students decide to treat this as the spark igniting their revolution. They sing about how the people are rising up for freedom and call upon them to risk their lives for the revolution.

Why is the archmage encouraging people to commit treason?

Okay, their songwriter was really good even if the rest of it was a little confused.

Oh, they're so Good — her heart is crying out in support for them, for them to fight back against their Evil nobles—

He recognizes the feeling sweeping them up and all he can think is no, no, stop—

Oh, this is great. You wouldn't think a bunch of singing could be as fun as lions but this is really a lot of fun. He hopes there's some good fight scenes coming up.

Laia can see all the tropes lining up like dominoes but she doesn't know, here, which ones are real and which ones are false friends, so she's on tenterhooks on about five levels of meta.

The guy playing Enjolras is really hot.

"Fight for the right to a night at the opera"? Kind of small potatoes but if you can get a revolution's worth of people together about it, sure, he guesses it must matter a lot to some folks.

Complicated feelings that happen every time he gets to the celebratory revolution part of an opera. Augh. 

This revolution thing seems all fun and exciting, with all the coffee and the singing. Kind of unfair of the archmages to win everything in three days without letting the people do any of it.

Wait wasn't this supposed to only be for characters with faces? 

Yes, but Lisandro has an annual membership with the opera, comes with a private box and license to bring a +1. Who, in this case, is his delegate. 

Meanwhile, Cosette is falling in love with Marius. She complains that Valjean still sees her as a child and won't tell her the full truth about her past. Valjean tells her that she'll learn in time and leaves. Eponine brings Marius to Cosette's house, which he is deeply grateful for; Eponine is privately upset that he's in love with Cosette and not with her. Cosette and Marius sing about how much they love each other, while Eponine continues to be sad.

Thénardier and the rest of his gang arrive and threaten to rob Valjean and Cosette's house, out of some sort of unclear vengeance against Valjean for not paying them enough for Cosette. Eponine objects. Her father tries to threaten her, but she screams to warn the residents about the attack. The gang threatens to torture her but is successfully driven off for the time being. Valjean returns, having heard the scream; Cosette attempts to cover for what had actually happened by claiming she had screamed. Valjean concludes that it had been Javert trying to attack the house, believing that Javert has tracked him down once again, and declares that tomorrow he and Cosette will leave the city and probably the country behind. (They are apparently going to take a ship across the sea, which is sort of confusing given the Galt-analogy, at least if you know any geography.)

Valjean, Cosette, Marius, Eponine, Javert, the Thénardiers, and miscellaneous student revolutionaries sing about their plans for the next day, weaving in several plot threads.

The curtain falls on the first act! It's now intermission. (By the grace of Nethys and Shelyn, anyone who tries to use intermission to have unrelated political conversations will find themselves back in their seat at the start of Act 2 with zero subjective time having passed.)

(You don't need a name and a face! You need a name or a face or status as a delegate, any one is sufficient.)

(Good to know. Big fan of your work, by the way.)

Mattin was willing to tolerate bad writing and bad action so far, but this goes too far. An opera doesn't get to threaten torture and then close the curtain before anyone gets actually tortured. Even if it is just for the intermission between acts. If he weren't here by magical force, he would walk out in protest.

Valjean paid a lot for Cosette! She was almost unbelievably expensive and she was an unskilled ?seven?-year-old! What the hell kind of motive is that??

The part with the revolutionaries is way more fun than the stupid lovey-dovey bits.

It's very stupid for Cosette to treat this as any kind of basis for a serious relationship, but maybe that will turn out to be the point.

Blai really really wishes he knew what the actual policies or actions they're revolting against were. The official religion or at least the one Mme. Thenardier ironically professed is "Christian"? Is that the same religion as the generous priest in the first bit or a different one? Is the presumed context one where actually there are lots of random extrajudicial horrors happening constantly or are people really having a revolution because they're poor? Or, not even them, these are students - because someone else is poor????

The lead looks awfully like Felip, and he seems more intently focused on this strange opera than any they've gone to before. What is happening, here?

Is the reason none of these people have discernible relatives because they're rootless teenagers or is it because they responsibly got all their families out of the city under assumed names before starting shit?

Okay, she's starting to enjoy this story. The complicated threads behind their histories, the naive revolutionaries, and the romance connecting them. Shelyn would approve, she thinks.

Eponine is way cooler than Cosette, she's not sure why Marius is so interested in dating Cosette instead. Maybe once the revolutionaries overthrow the Evil nobles he'll realize that actually Eponine is braver and smarter and cares way more about justice?

The revolutionaries build a barricade in the middle of the city. Javert, in disguise as a revolutionary, offers to go spy on the opposing forces. Eponine, dressed as a boy, shows up at the barricades. Marius tells her to get out for her own safety, which she seems reluctant to do. He then asks her to bring a letter to Cosette, which she agrees to do. She brings it to Cosette's house, where she is met by Valjean, who promises to deliver the letter to Cosette the next day. He then reads it aloud, revealing to him that Cosette and Marius are in love and that Marius is fighting at the barricades. Eponine walks through the rainy streets alone and sings about her unrequited love for Marius.

Meanwhile, the revolutionaries have finished constructing their barricade, and declare their intention to fight. An army officer, offstage, tells them that no one is coming to help them and that they need to either surrender or die; they defiantly declare that the army officer is lying and the people will rise up. Javert returns, and delivers a "report" on the army's plans and capabilities. Gavroche reveals Javert's true identity and declares that people shouldn't underestimate children. The revolutionaries arrest Javert, with plans to have the people of France decide what will happen to him; Javert rejects the idea that this could possibly have any legitimacy and calls for them all to die.

Eponine returns and climbs over the barricade, as people from the French army... cast some sort of loud, ranged spell requiring a large stick as a focus? Marius is upset about her returning. She tells him that she delivered the letter to Cosette's house, then collapses. Marius tries to figure out what's wrong; when he removes part of her coat, he reveals a large, bleeding chest wound. She tells him not to worry and that she's content to die in his arms, as Marius initially tries to tell her that he'll live and that he would save her if he could, before eventually telling her that he'll stay with her until she's dead. Eponine dies in his arms.

Perhaps the archmage is hoping to demonstrate to the Convention that treason will just get you killed and damned to the Abyss, but given the overall attitude of this musical towards the very concept of enforcing the laws Jonatan is not feeling very optimistic.

...He would really have expected at least one of these people to have Infernal Healing prepared. The government's armies will surely have clerics, certainly with healing and perhaps even with channels, and trying to fight them without any healing whatsoever sounds obviously doomed.

It's really convenient how Valjean and Cosette were already planning to flee the country, so he doesn't need to come up with another way to shut down this ridiculous attempt at courtship.

—no—

—they have to win, they have to, they have to kill the person who murdered Eponine and free their city and put a stop to the Evil nobles—

—if Victòria were here she could have saved her—

If you're going to have wizards killing each other with their wizard powers you should be a bit flashier about it. The sounds are nice but maybe consider some illusions, some summoned animals, that sort of thing.

On My Own is a stunning song and Laia is focusing pretty damn hard on memorizing the tune; she'll try to finagle Chelish lyrics for it later but the tune, that key change....

She likes Gavroche, too, and knows she would be more enthusiastic about him if he'd had his cool moment before that song, but.

"Give up your guns or die". And the revolutionaries say they're lying, but it sounds like they think they're lying about the revolution not getting additional reinforcements? Not about surviving having started an insurrection if they surrender?

They must be REALLY pissed that they weren't allowed to go to the opera. Raimon prefers a strategy of backing the offending government's geopolitical enemies, but he guesses this is valid, he just isn't super into it personally.

Run away with your daughter somewhere safe, Valjean, this place is a shithole.

He hasn't followed the plot at all since before the intermission.

Could it be he's some old jailbird
That the tide now washes in?
Heard my name and started running
Had the brand upon his skin

What was that sound? How would you even do that?

(He's been noticing the odd keyboards -- organs of some kind, perhaps? -- since the start of the performance, but they haven't grabbed his attention in the same way. You might play your favorite keyboard concerto on the strange organ, but the -- living guitar? -- someone ought to write a new concerto for that.)

Revolutions are bad, actually.

Even when you're rebelling against Hell.

What? No! Absolutely wrong! Rebellions are extremely Good when rebelling against Hell and terrible otherwise.

Rebellions are probably a good threat to have to make anyone sinking toward the Asmodean's level cut it out. But this one seems kind of ill-considered and premature for whatever it is they are angry about.

The revolutionaries honor Eponine as the first to fall for their cause and declare that her death will not be in vain. Valjean, in disguise as a soldier, arrives at the barricade and tells the revolutionaries that he wants to help. The revolutionaries are mistrustful, but ultimately accept his help and give him one of the long sticks. They point out Javert to him as a warning about what will happen if he betrays them.

The French army attacks, but the revolutionaries successfully drive them away. In the process, Valjean kills a sniper who was targeting Enjolras. Enjolras starts to thank him, but Valjean tells him that he can repay him another way and asks Enjolras to hand Javert over to him. Enjolras agrees.

Valjean takes Javert away. Javert expects Valjean to kill him, but instead Valjean cuts loose his bonds and attempts to release him. Javert accuses Valjean of trying to steal his own life and freedom by sparing Javert's life, and declares that he will keep pursuing Valjean, even if Valjean releases him. Valjean tells Javert that he's wrong about what kind of person he is, insists on setting Javert free even if he continues to pursue him, and gives him his home address.

Javert leaves. Valjean fires his stick into the air to deceive the revolutionaries into believing he's killed Javert.

You've hungered for this all your life
Take your revenge
How right you should kill with a knife

She's on the edge of her seat, waiting for Valjean to do it, to plunge his knife into the man who's spent so many years chasing him, who sided with a rapist over Fantine, who tried to side with the Evil nobles to get the revolutionaries killed—

You talk too much
Your life is safe in my hands

—she doesn't understand—

—and it sort of sounds like he's saying Javert hasn't really done anything that bad, and maybe that could be true, only she's trying to think back through everything Javert has done and her head won't stop spinning, she can't imagine just letting him go— 

It really seems as if Valjean could have saved everyone a lot of trouble if he had developed principles of the legitimacy of enforcing the law at any previous point.

Good, and Law. Law without Good is confused, rigid, and rudderless when anything complicated happens; Good without Law cooperates smoothly but sometimes causes itself trouble. It's obvious where this ends, if not the details, or what it will say about the excessive Chaos of the revolutionary students who seem to be trying for Good but mostly landing Chaotic Neutral.

Why is... Javert... better to have alive than... a basically randomly-selected soldier on the opposite side... of the conflict you have chosen to join on the side of the rebellion for no discernible reason at all... if you're going to kill a man to get a prisoner exchanged they'd better be more valuable than the guy you kill! Ideally, valuable toward some actual strategic aim. What, is Valjean just mindlessly aping the thing with the bishop since that was so salutary for him (or at least it seemed to be until he started joining poorly planned insurrections on a whim) and Javert is the only person who's aggressed against him personally so that's the only way he can do it? Valjean, the bishop did not have to MURDER anyone to give you candlesticks. Also maybe you should be doing this with Thénardier instead? Thénardier seems bent on material profit and not violence! Also you gave him a bunch of stuff and then later he came back for more! It's much more analogous!

Yeah, she no longer cares about any of these idiots anymore. Cannot relate, would have run into the woods after killing the man who was hunting her. Or possibly just outlived him, as she actually did, but she supposes humans don't have that benefit. Why is there a revolution?? Is this all of the reasoning for revolution that civilization needs to riot? No wonder they do it so much...

Eeeeeeeeeee~~~~

Wow, way to fuck with Javert's head, man, nicely done.

WHY did you not run away with your daughter somewhere safe.

What.

Mind your own business.

That instruction seems to reflect a conceptual confusion of some kind.

The church whose associated holy symbol is the cross is a stupid church and an incoherent church and I'm not sure it's making the world better but you sure could tell it whatever you'd done and have them forgive it.

You can do that with Iomedae's Church!!!

Cannot.

Can too. Admittedly it would go slightly differently but you in particular could absolutely do it.

I could - frame everything so that it fit their categories nicely, because I am a very good liar. That's different. It'd work, sort of, probably, but it's different. 

Well if you want to go track down cross-god in Nirvana and get spiritual counseling we can do that.

No, no, that's not the same thing at all. Any Good god will pat you on the head and tell you that they love you if you go to them for spiritual counseling. The thing about cross-god is the habit of doing it while people are your enemies on the Material where it matters.

That is indeed a feature of cross-god, or at least its representatives in this opera. You think it's a good feature?

Obviously not. But I don't like Good much so I don't have to care whether it's a Good feature or not.

If it's compelling to formerly Asmodean people that seems like a way it might be Good, actually, even if it seems....very incoherent.

It's not compelling to former Asmodean people, they will think it's stupid. But - not incoherent, not at all. It is behaving like you love someone. Not the 'oh, we love everyone, and it is out of our love for other people that we have to hang you' thing, which does not involve or resemble love and everyone sort of knows it. It is behaving like you love the person in front of you.

As Asmodeans know full well, love is a silly childish emotion, and it is hardly made less so by doing it at your enemies. 

But not incoherent, no.

The revolutionaries settle down for the night and drink together. Valjean prays to cross-god for Marius to survive and come safely home, even if it means his own death.

Dawn comes, and the revolutionaries realize that they are fighting alone, without the help of the people of Paris. Enjolras declares that they will not abandon them, even if it costs them their lives, but orders the "women and fathers of children" to leave. (Valjean does not leave.)

The revolutionaries assess the strategic situation, and conclude that they have enough long sticks but insufficient ammunition. They argue about who should venture beyond the barricade to retrieve ammunition, with several different people attempting to volunteer. While they're arguing, Gavroche sneaks out of the barricade, as the rest of the revolutionaries yell at him to come back. As the soldiers shoot at him, he retrieves some ammunition, then returns towards the barricade. As he reaches the top of the barricade, he stands triumphant for a second.

The spotlight shines directly on him.

Another gunshot rings out, and he falls to the ground, dead.

An army officer tells the revolutionaries to just give up already. They refuse, predicting that after their deaths others will take their place in the fight for freedom. In the subsequent battle, literally every person still at the barricade besides Valjean and Marius is shot dead, and Marius is severely wounded.

Raimon is not really more than half-present any longer.

"I'm not sure about this," a young man with soft flaxen hair says. "Are you sure we shouldn't just go back to the café?"

Raimon can barely hear him over the sound of their group, but he can catch enough of it to fill in the gaps, and he can see the uncertainty in the way the man holds his knife. "Be unafraid," he quotes from the cleric's speech. "This is our country. We are a strong people, a brave people, a good people."

Raimon doesn't think of himself as a brave person, but it's easy to be brave like this, with a crowd all around him and the words of the cleric still ringing in his ears. It's easy to look towards the future and see their country free from tyranny, free from bondage, free from the taint of Hell that now walks the streets of Westcrown.

The man gives him a determined nod, and they march onward.

(...Lady Shelyn, he was entirely correct, and I ought to have listened. It was my words that led him astray, and if I imperiled his soul in so doing, please help him find the path back to You. If there is anything I may yet do so that my sins are not weighed against him, help me to see it...)

They sent away all the women and fathers but didn't send away the child? What is wrong with them?

Holy shit, did they just kill the kid actor? That was AMAZING.

...As messages for the archmage to send go, "traitors to the kingdom will die pointlessly without even accomplishing any of their treasonous goals" is better than he had hoped for, but he can't really bring himself to be happy about it.

(it's not fair — why does Javert get to live and not them—)

It's a wonder that people this stupid survived to adulthood to begin with.

His prayers for Jean's safety seem to be working; he can't stop now.

The thing she accused Pezzack of. That she had to push back on right when she was named Lord Mayor and Andoran rose under Morgethai's protection.

Except it's still too kind, because it's not the leaders and ones you care about who survive. For whether it hurts the people of Paris... well, we'll see, won't we.

Valjean carries Marius's unconscious body down into the very large sewers. Thénardier is also in the sewers, stealing valuables off of dead bodies. Valjean collapses, and Thénardier takes the opportunity to steal some valuables off of Marius as well. Eventually, Valjean recovers enough to continue dragging Marius's body through the sewers.

He gets out of the sewers, where he encounters Javert. He begs Javert to give him an hour to find Marius medical attention, and eventually Javert agrees. While he waits, Javert wanders to a bridge, where he contemplates the mercy Valjean showed him, spirals into despair as he questions his mindset, and ultimately throws himself off the bridge.

Miscellaneous women and children sing about the deaths of the people on the barricade, and declare that nothing ever changes. Marius, now recovered, returns to the café where the revolutionaries met and mourns their deaths.

Is he from heaven or from hell?

Probably he's from the Maelstrom or something, dumbass.

Javert might make Axis but unless this is an Eighth Act situation killing himself makes it a lot dicier!

Oooooooh ooooooooooOOOOOOOooooh Valjean said "I'm a stronger man by far" in that duet earlier but it has a DOUBLE MEANING because not only is he super buff he was also able to roll with and prosper beyond a big redemptive worldview shift and Javert singing the same motif can't!!!!!

You fucked with that cop's head SO hard, Valjean, way to go.

What's the use of praying if there's nobody who hears?

Oh, Paris.

It feels like there's — something — to it? If she takes what Laia said earlier, and lines it up next to Javert's death... something like, if someone really truly understands what they've done, to the point that they're taking vengeance on themself for it... then what? Well, they're dead like they deserve, at least... and it's not okay, what they did won't ever be okay, but it's a lot closer than the Evil nobles strutting around acting like anyone who questions whether they should stay in power ought to die for it...

If only it could have been him who'd died that night, him instead of a Hellspawn man who died for nothing but being in the wrong place at the wrong time—

Somewhat later, Marius has made a physical recovery, though he still doesn't know it was Valjean that saved his life. He and Cosette plan their future life together, while Valjean thinks about how he should let Cosette go and live her life.

On the day of their wedding, Valjean confesses his past to Marius, and tells her that he intends to leave for Cosette's sake. Marius tries to convince him to reconsider, but eventually Valjean persuades him that it's better if she doesn't know. Marius and Cosette get married. The Thénardiers crash their wedding reception, unconvincingly disguised as nobility. They demand Marius pay them in exchange for information, and when he does, they reveal that it was Valjean who saved his life by carrying him through the sewers to safety. Marius punches Thénardier, then leaves with Cosette, while the Thénardiers sing about how they are terrible people.

Valjean, on the brink of death, prays for Cosette and Marius. Fantine's spirit appears by his side and blesses him for raising Cosette. Marius and Cosette appear, and Marius explains how Valjean saves his life. Valjean decides to tell Cosette the truth after all, and writes it down for her to read once he's dead. Eponine appears, and she and Fantine begin to lead Valjean away to Heaven. 

The dead revolutionaries join them, and reprise their earlier song about rising up, this time focused on setting aside their weapons and building a better future in the Summerlands, or possibly a farming-focused realm of some other afterlife.

This is just "for him the Summerlands" in the form of a musical.

Okay, that was pretty great, actually. Conradí finally feels like he understands why the nobles like blood opera so much.

Raimon is shaking.

So they're supposed to... love their families? Rise up against the government? Farm instead of rising up against the government? Kill themselves for worshipping Asmodeus? Forgive people who steal from them? This is really confusing. Hopefully one of the paladins will explain it soon.

The Thénardiers really seem like the most comprehensible people in this play, though it's awfully stupid to sing about their philosophy in front of so many people who style themselves as Good.

He had figured it for a (standard?) Lawful Neutral/Good vs. Neutral/Chaotic Good story relatively early on… and he had meant to try to use the play to understand the difference in these alignments. But he got distracted partway through by implications of various lines and things that were missing.  No cleric or wizard casts any spells throughout the entire story as far as he can tell… was Paris literally abandoned by the Gods for some reason?  Or maybe normal magic doesn’t work right in it (given no wizards… except other countries don’t have as many wizards as Cheliax so maybe no wizards is a normal default… he could make a lot of money selling healing in a city like Paris)?

Also the story seems to assume the audience knows really critical background information, like why the revolution is happening in the first place.

At the end it occurs to him to worry the play might trigger another wave of riots.  Valia’s speech was more detailed in actual actions demanded and less skillfully delivered than this play, and it still played a role setting off the riots, so this play really could mean another round of riots.  …He’ll switch out his endure elements for more infernal healings in his spell prep the next several days.

What, is it supposed to be that easy? Charge off after whatever stupid idea's got into your head, and the Good gods will take you for having Good intentions?

Okay the end has her full on bawling.

It's beautifully done. But... it's never that kind. It wasn't even in Kintargo with all her work and storied adventurers out of history and archmages keeping all the armies busy for a four-day war.

She couldn't bear to censor it, she thinks. But... letting it be played would be wrong. Without at least another song about the price 'Paris' paid. And... probably more than that.