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ozy works through their issues about their old job
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californialove123: how much to see you soft and tiny?

espadabynight: Beautiful smile

jackx0123: nice lips

jackx0123: perfect for kisss

jackx0123: looks good your hair

manfrommoon92: I am not gay, but I am still here so... not like I am Jesus or anything

sweet25000: can you cum by getting fucked by a big dick?

quantumdex: let me bite your thighs!

blazingrod: That choker ring must be great to drag you for a good kiss

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Thank you blazingrod he can riff on that blazingrod you have terrible taste in screen names but Luna sure can talk about being dragged around by the ring of his choker and kissed. 

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espadabynight: give TIPSSSS!!! let's see her naked

quantumdex: what anime do u like

MasterDon69: take off ur shirt slave

manfrommoon92: luv traps... so much hotter than real women

espadabynight: TIP HER!!!!!!! 

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Just for that he's keeping his shirt on until he gets more tips. (Thank you espadabynight.) 

He can totally talk about his favorite anime, though, and he can run the "traps are so much hotter than real women because we're so hungry for your huge cock" routine in the background at this point, that doesn't actually require a brain. 

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MasterDon69: why are u ignoring me

MasterDon69: ur not a real slave

MasterDon69: bitch

jackx0123: nice eyes... pretty

jackx0123: good 2 look at

espadabynight: TIP HER! SHE'S SO PRETTY

manfrommoon92: I want you to be my waifu.........

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Luna makes a point of looking at the camera more and smiling while he talks about being your waifu, your pretty little soft thing, so hungry for you, traps are hotter than real women because they're so hungry for you, etcetera etcetera. 

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And then the user brucewayne, who hasn't actually said anything yet, tips Luna a thousand tokens with a private note attached:

I'd rather you not call yourself slurs

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...huh. 

Well, okay, he can do that. Luna switches from talking about how traps are better than real women to talking about how he's better than a real girl because he's so hungry for cock. 

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Close... enough?

Luna gets another thousand tokens and a request for a private show. 

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Despite espadabynight's best efforts it's been a pretty slow night. He accepts the request. 

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brucewayne's webcam is off but his mike is on. 

"Hi."

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"Hey." Luna's smiling into the camera. It's softer, less direct, than the smile he uses for public shows. 

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"You're really pretty."

He sounds like he's smiling.

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"Thank you!" 

He is really not sure what kind of act brucewayne wants and trying to guess seems likely to fail, so he doesn't do that. 

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"Is anime a thing you actually like or is that just that one guy being racist?"

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Weird question but okay.

"I don't not like it, and Ouran really is my favorite." 

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"Uh. If it's okay. I'd like it if you put on something more-- comfortable-- than the thing you're wearing? And then talked to me about books you like? You don't have to. Uh."

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"I can do that for you," he says, smiling sweetly, and he gets up and grabs one of Marlo's shirts and a pair of girls' running shorts he keeps around for shows where he'll end up stripping but starts off wearing clothes, and comes back to the camera and changes before sitting down again. 

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"You look really nice."

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"Thank you." That soft private-show smile again. "You wanted to talk about books?" 

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"Yeah! What kind of books do you like?"

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"I've been on a horror kick recently, so right now it's a lot of Stephen King, but there's a book called Suffer the Children that's also very good at the thing it's doing. What do you like?" 

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"Oh, I have really terrible taste. I reread the same crappy thousand-page epic fantasy novels over and over again while all the good books gather dust. --What's Suffer the Children about?"

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This is a really weird thing to do during a private show but hey, it's brucewayne's money. Sasha explains the plot of Suffer the Children and then gets into, "And the interesting part is that it would have been really easy to focus on the kids? They're undead children who need to drink blood to stay alive, that's already a perfectly good horror-novel premise, so it's interesting that the kids are barely characters at all and the actual horror comes from what their parents are willing to do to other adults." 

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brucewayne has a bunch of questions about Suffer the Children!

"I'm Lev, by the way."

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"Hi, Lev," and Luna says the name the way Sasha might say delicate, or cellar door. 

Luna can answer as many questions about horror novels as Lev cares to ask. 

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Lev does a sharp intake of breath when Sasha says his name that way, like it is the most arousing thing he can imagine.

Lev has forty-five minutes' worth of questions about horror novels!

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That's really weird, but it's also the most fun Luna's had doing a show for a while so he's disinclined to judge. 

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"The site says you're usually done for the night about now?"

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"I can keep talking!" 

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"I don't want to keep you from other things you were doing."

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"I've got time for you, Lev," and Luna says his name the same way he said it the first time. 

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Sharp inhale.

"...all right, maybe a bit longer, but you should tell me if you have plans."

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His only plan is cuddling with his boyfriend and that's not the kind of thing you tell a client about. 

He'll keep talking with Lev until Lev has to go. (He keeps lingering over Lev's name.) 

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Lev eventually and regretfully says, "I really do have to go now" after ninety minutes of show.

Which means that (a) Luna made $270 tonight and (b) even considering sales on tokens and discounts for buying tokens in bulk, Lev probably spent over five hundred dollars on talking to him about horror novels.

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......holy shit. 

Well. Sasha knows which whale he's going to be focusing on. 

When Lev has to go he takes off Luna and curls up in bed with his Marlo and reads more horror novels. 

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His phone has a text from a whale about how tonight's show is really long, he hopes Luna is enjoying it ;), and also a text from Asher.

i hate men

the entire gender

burn it to the ground

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He texts the whale 

sure am ;) 

and texts Asher 

but there's you and me and marlo 

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okay but clients are a w f u l

spent twenty minutes trying to get this guy's sexual fantasy out of him and he was just like "but maaaaaster I want to seeeeeerve you"

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ohhhhh man yeah that's the worst 

personally I'm a fan of "take off your shirt slave [doesn't tip] why are you ignoring me you aren't a real slave" 

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that's absolutely right, you're not a real slave, that's why you're doing it for money asshole

uggggh so tempted to just do porn again

but i'd have to work longer hours and i haven't quite recovered from my last video being titled "BLACKED: Teen Slut Gets Massacred By BBC Mandingo"

i had to look up what a mandingo even was

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....I'm not looking it up I don't want to know 

I will reblog three hundred "burn the bagel for good luck" tumblr posts and idk burn a really shitty paper crane or something in your honor 

but someone spent like 500 dollars on talking to me about horror novels so I'm having an awesome night actually 

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WHAT?!

is that... his fetish

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no clue but holy shit guess what gift horse I'm not looking in the mouth 

he wanted me to wear one of marlos shirts, said it looked more comfortable 

I s2g there are little pink hearts in my eyes 

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that's so cute

he's going to turn out to be a serial killer

or a horrible emotional labor sink where he's constantly giving you JUST enough money that you don't wanna fire him even tho it would probably be better in the long run

but i vote for serial killer

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hey I've got you and m as a sanity check

and he paid for so many groceries 

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i'm adding him to the list of men who are allowed

you, me, m, shirt guy. that is literally 100% of the acceptable men in the world

and ezra miller. ezra miller is very beautiful + very stupid + would definitely tip generously

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he so would. you have such good taste in extremely stupid actors 

I question his fashion choices but they are at least choices 

shirt guy is named Lev 

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i would go gay for ezra miller

whatever you call going gay if you're getting your dick sucked by dudes on the regular

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I think it's still going gay but like. up a meta level 

going super saiyan gay 

is that how you spell that I don't actually know how you spell that 

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you don't know

but I thought you were my perfect trap waifu who loves all my favorite animes :(

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thank god for wikipedia summaries can I just say 

save my life on the regular. and my tip jar 

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you're great

go hug your boyfriend

tell him I said hi

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If Sasha checks, he'll discover that Lev has bought every single one of his videos, his Snapchat, and his phone number, and tossed in fifty bucks as a tip.

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Holy fuckening hell. 

Sasha cuddles Marlo and kisses his shoulder and tells him "Asher says you're the only man who's allowed" and puts his head on Marlo's chest to feel him breathing. 

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In the morning the text message arrives:

I hope you'll tell me if I'm texting you too much, I definitely don't want to stop you from doing other things or paying attention to other clients or anything

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you're a sweetheart <33 

I'll tell you 

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And I don't like it when you misgender yourself or call yourself slurs or do... weird... race... things.

Please don't do that to me.

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.....cute. 

I won't 

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I like the video where you're edging yourself a bunch with a toy in your ass

It looks like you're having fun

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I was 💜 

could do that again sometime 

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I'd like that

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He'll add it to the queue for if he ever needs to keep Lev interested. 

good 💜

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you should have more movies and books on your wishlist

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.....if he looks he's going to find that Lev has bought him every book and every movie on his amazon wishlist, isn't he. 

my to-read list is already pretty long! 

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so's mine!

but if you have more books on yours it is easier to find the overlap between books I want you to read and books you want to be given

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awwwww 

in that case I can put more of my to-read list up 

just for you 💜

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I'll buy them for you when I'm having a bad day if you promise to send me a picture of you smiling about it after

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He takes a screenshot and sends it to Asher and then texts Lev 

sweet of you 💜 

I promise 

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cute???? that's cute

does he like black findoms because I'm gonna steal him

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you should maybe get going but when you're free I'm interested in your thoughts on lovecraft

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To Asher: 

don't steal my clients :( 

for real tho if he were into black findoms it'd be pretty weird for him to go for me I'm like the opposite of that 

And to Lev: 

the man could not write dialogue to save his life 

I've heard some things but my only opinion on the actual books as opposed to the discourse about the books is "nobody talks like that" 

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how do you know, maybe everyone talked like that in the 1920s

were you alive in the 1920s

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the market for smol subby asian trans girls and the market for six foot tall black doms with a huge dick are identical

don't let anyone fool you

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other people wrote in the 1920s! there were radio shows in the 1920s! 

to Lev, and 

don't steal my clients >:( it's mean and you're mean 

to Asher. 

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you'll have to recommend me something to correct my misapprehensions!

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if he ever shows signs of a cuckold fetish you know who to call

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yeah, ME 

because he's MY CLIENT 

And, to Lev, 

I actually really liked Gatsby? I know it's the classic "everyone has to read it in English class but nobody really likes it" book but I liked it a lot 

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what if he wants you to GET BLACKED, sasha

I will do it for a v reasonable fee

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I've actually never read Gatsby, school #1 had it in eleventh grade and school #2 had it in tenth grade

don't move around a bunch, it fucks with everything

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he specifically requested no weird race stuff so I think the chances of him wanting me to GET BLACKED are as low are they're gonna get  

to Asher, and 

oh man I bet 

the good news is it's creative commons now so the pdfs are free 

it's much more fun if you approach it from the angle "thesis: nick is gay and in love with gatsby" than if you try to actually analyze it but I've never tried just reading it like a normal book 

to Lev. 

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what. horrible. can't believe we've been friends for this long and you're STILL not gonna put out

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I'll try it and report back, I think it's on the Boring Literachur I Own For Unclear Reasons shelf of my library

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Asher you're straight 

not that I wouldn't fuck you if you decided to give it a try because holy shit your abs but you are in fact straight 

and he debates how to respond to Lev for a moment before he says 

it's only boring if you try to read it like Literachur 

if you read it in literally any other way it's like "insider scoop on gossip about my tragic crush: the novel" 

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I will read it and report back about whether I'll have to reshelve it!

honestly "insider scoop on gossip about my tragic crush: the novel" is a great shelf name

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can't believe my own heterosexuality is being used against me in this fashion

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I just said I'd be down if you were babe 

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wear that cute skirt it'll be a date xoxo

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can do 💙 💙

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is there a way we can schedule private shows so it's not while you're working, I don't want to stop you from getting tips

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well, you've got my phone number now, and my schedule is pretty flexible 

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tomorrow at five pst?

maybe I'll watch you come this time

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5 pst, then! 

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Lev is silent for the rest of the day, and the next morning texts him:

I bow to your excellent taste in books about tragic gay crushes

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I'm glad you liked it! 

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Lev is sitting there waiting in Sasha's room at 4:55 pm.

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And at 5 PM PST the private show starts! 

This time, Luna is already in boxer shorts and a sweater big enough to be falling off one shoulder. 

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Tiny little whimpery noise.

"...I want to see you come," he says, "but we should probably talk about the things I like first. And you can always try distracting me by asking about books. Or math."

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...dream client. 

"Yeah, that is a good idea," Luna agrees. "What do you like?" 

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"I like knowing things about you and you enjoying yourself," he says, "and I also get off on-- making people do things that they wouldn't otherwise do because I have power over them? Uh, but I don't want you to actually do things that would upset you or make you sad or anything."

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'...I'm a sex worker, doing things I wouldn't otherwise do is literally my day job,' he doesn't say. 

"That's in my repertoire!" he says instead, and smiles charmingly at the camera. 

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"...and now I'm terribly anxious about everything."

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Well, at least he says so and doesn't think Luna should figure it out himself. "Tell me about it?" 

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"Talking about sex is terrifying, which is why I am paying a pretty girl to pay attention to me instead of getting it any other way."

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"Well, my job is to make it less terrifying. If there's anything I can do?" 

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"You're so sweet. I wish I could pet your hair."

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"Thank you," very soft, and he reaches up and takes down his ponytail. 

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Little tiny noise.

"Can you tell me about what sort of things you like?"

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"Well, I like fantasy and horror novels! 

In terms of what I kink on — I like getting tied up, I like having something in my mouth." There are others but hypnokink involves way more trust than hes willing to give a whale and Lev can't actually leave marks on him. 

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A little breathy "oh", and the slick sound of someone jerking off, and "keep talking?"

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He leans forward and smiles into the camera. 

"I like being bitten — I like having marks on my shoulders and my neck and my thighs — I like being touched here —" and he puts his fingers on his shoulder — "and here, and here, and here," on his collarbone, on the pulse point behind his ear, on his throat. 

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"Can you-- oh-- get undressed for me? And-- ah-- keep talking."

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Another smile, wider. He rises up on his knees to take his shirt off, runs his hands down his sides. "I like having my hair played with — having it pulled —" 

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"Oh-- you're so beautiful--"

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He rolls his hips more than is strictly necessary to get his shorts off. "I'm sensitive here and here and — ah — here —" 

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"Oh-- keep touching yourself-- I love that noise--"

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Luna keeps touching, runs his fingertips up his sides and down his thighs, presses his thumbs into the dips of his hipbones, keeps making little breathy sounds. 

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"Say my name-- please--"

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"Lev," somewhere in the space between a gasp and a moan. 

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He makes a small broken gasp, and then says, "Thank you."

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Luna's just going to keep doing that, then; he skates his fingertips over his stomach, down his thighs again, keeps moaning Lev's name. 

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"I'm finished," he says, "uh, if you want to get yourself off that's fine?"

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...that was quick. He starts touching in earnest, now, lets Lev see the way his back arches, doesn't stop repeating Lev's name; it doesn't take him long to get close, when he tries. 

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"You're so pretty. I want to hold you."

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"You're so sweet," Luna sighs. 

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"You're easy to be sweet to!"

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Aww. "Thank you." He keeps his voice soft and warm. 

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"I should get more book recommendations from you."

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"For fantasy I like A Face Like Glass by Frances Hardinge, it's got interesting worldbuilding and excellent scheming plots." 

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Lev asks him lots of questions about it!

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And Luna answers them! 

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"You're great," he says. "Want to do this every week?"

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"That would be lovely," and he makes a mental note to write down that he's booked at 5 PM on Thursdays. 

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"I'd be happy to do twice or three times a week," he says, "but I don't want to be pushy if you're busy--"

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"I've got time! And scheduled shows are great because I can plan things around them, do Tuesdays work for you?" 

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"See you Tuesday at five, then! I'll look forward to it."

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Awesome. 

Luna grins at Lev before he leaves, then puts on show clothes and opens his room. 

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brucewayne: <3 long time no see

brucewayne has tipped 500 tokens!

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sonoftroy90: Mmm i missed my bitch

sonoftroy90: Need them lips around my hard ass dick rn

sonoftroy90: This chocolate throbbin for that ass

slip944:|1| Why isn’t your cock hard

slip944 has tipped 1 token!

cath253: awwwwwh! love you

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...well, better than tipping no tokens. (Asshole.) 

"I'm not going to be taking my clothes off today," he tells the camera, "but for every 100 tokens, I'll take a shot of vodka." He gestures at the vodka bottle sitting just in frame, with a shot glass next to it; it's two thirds full. 

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NEW ROOM TOPIC: shot 100 tks, flash 50 tks, suck dildo 300 tks, snapchat 300 tks, pms 200 tks

racer628: Nice

racer628: Beautiful

racer628: I’d hit that shit

10inchbb: I'm jacking my big monster dick

espadabynight: TIP HER! LOTS OF TOKENS

thetallcanadian: Can u get hard?

racer628: but you're going to go wild when we get you drunk, right ;)

espadabynight: SHE'S THIRSTY!!!! TIP HER

espadabynight: beautiful smile

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Luna's got an established character for when she gets drunk; she's giggly and cuddly and also very, very horny. (There's a reason he edged rather than coming during the private show.) 

He can find things to talk about, if nobody's tipping. 

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racer628 has tipped 300 tokens!

racer628: let's see you get naughty ;)

espadabynight: thank you racer! a HERO

jackingdicknow: Spit on ur tittie's as I jack off

northshore52: can you get hard?

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Luna pours himself three shots out of the bottle and drinks them, one after another. 

He's a little smilier, makes sure to keep the effect gradual. 

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bigdickitaly86: Hi bb....open my cam...amazing big cock here...mmmm

jackingdicknow: make that ass bounce

jackingdicknow: spank that ass for me

jackingdicknow: suck that cock

racer628: feeling horny yet? ;)

racer628: or do you want a little more to drink?

racer628: are you thirsty?

10inchbb: TEQUILA MAKES HER CLOTHES FALL OFF

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brucewayne: You look really nice when you smile. :)

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"Guys, I'm not taking my clothes off tonight," he says, but he's already smiling, looser. "I am thirsty, though." 

That's actually true. Three shots of water is not very much. 

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racer628: sure you aren't, that's what you said last time

bigdickitaly86: nice big cock

jackingdicknow: jackingdicknow has tipped 100 tokens!

10inchbb has tipped 100 tokens!

racer628: come on, aren't those clothes getting awfully tight and uncomfortable ;)

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These clothes were uncomfortable to start with. He pours himself one more shot (fuck you jackingdick) and drinks it. 

"Yeah, kinda...." he says, like he's admitting something. "But I said I wasn't taking my clothes off and this time for real, I'm not." 

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racer628: come on, I'll give you fifty tokens just to take them off for a minute

racer628: and if you don't like it you can put them back on 

dirtypervdad19: Can i please cum on ur back

dirtypervdad19: Im so hard 4 u

espadabynight: GIVE HER TIPS! WOO RACER!

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brucewayne: knock it off asshole she said that she wasn't going to take her clothes off

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...okay that's cute but Lev needs to quit messing with the scene. 

He bites his lip and pretends this is a very difficult decision. "...for fifty tokens I'll take my shirt off. Just for a minute, though." 

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10inchbb has tipped 350 tokens!

10inchbb: 5 minutes + u take a shot

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He takes a shot and notes the time and takes his shirt off, makes it a clumsier show than he usually would. 

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jackingdicknow: beautiful

espadabynight: nice smile

sonoftroy90: hottttttt

sonoftroy90: love those tits

10inchbb: you should touch yourself a bit

10inchbb: play with those titties

10inchbb: remember my big cock 

raw1026: can u abuse ur balls in a private?

raw1026: do u know what i am asking?

10inchbb: think about me tearing ur ass to shreds

racer628: isn't it more comfortable like this

espadabynight: TIP HER SO WE CAN SEE HER TITS FOR LONGER!!!!!

northshore52: ru hard

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He does not in fact know what raw is asking. 

"Yeah," he says reluctantly, and bites his lip and smiles shyly at the camera, "yeah, it's more comfortable like this — but —

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espadabynight has tipped fifty tokens!

espadabynight: play with your boobs! smile nice

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He reaches up, still hesitant, still shy, makes himself a little clumsier than he would usually be, and plays with his — they're not really tits, but you get the point — and smiles beautifully. 

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espadabynight: beautiful

sonoftroy90: !!!!!!!!!!! hawtt

sonoftroy90: love seeing a trap play with her titties

sonoftroy90: makes my huge black dick hard

10inchbb: is your clitty hard????

racer628: moan for us!

racer628: show us how good you feel

racer628: you want more don't you

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He makes a soft breathy noise and arches his back like a cat. "Yeah — yeah, I — ahhh — do —" 

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racer has tipped fifty tokens!

racer628: why don't you touch yourself

racer628: you don't have to show us anything

sonoftroy90: WHY. I WANNA SEE HER BIG HARD COCK

racer628: she'll want to show us once she's touched herself a bit

racer628: she's an exhibitionist

northshore52: love ur dick

10inchbb has tipped 100 tokens!

10inchbb: take a shot 2 make it seem like a good idea

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He bites his lip again and stops touching, takes another shot of water, and then reaches under his skirt and touches his dick very lightly through his underwear and moans loud. 

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brucewayne: seriously she said she didn't want to

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racer628: she wants to NOW

racer628: she's loving it

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brucewayne: and she's incredibly drunk and making bad decisions!

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10inchbb: stop being such an ass

10inchbb: we can get her to touch herself without paying

10inchbb: cuz she gets drunk and horny and wants it

10inchbb: save money

racer628: if she really didn't want it she wouldn't get drunk in front of the cam

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brucewayne: you fucking cheap rape apologist fuckwits

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Lev. Quit fucking with the scene. 

He stalls until the five minutes are up and then reluctantly takes his hand away and reaches for his shirt. 

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brucewayne: finally

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racer628: you don't want to do that though

racer628: you said it yourself it's more comfortable like this 

10inchbb: you wanna show us everything

10inchbb: you like knowing that men are looking at you

racer628 tipped 100 tokens!

10inchbb tipped 100 tokens!

sonoftroy99 tipped 100 tokens!

racer628: shit

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He laughs, fake-shaky, and — does he count that as six minutes shirtless or as three shots — he counts it as two shots and two minutes shirtless. 

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racer628: do you really want to put your shirt back on

racer628: really

racer628: because I know you and I know how much you like showing off

racer628: especially when you're wasted like you are right now

racer628: and don't tell me you're perfectly sober

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Lev PMs Luna:

are you okay?

that is... kind of a lot of alcohol

do you have somebody to take care of you

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...okay, what does he say to Lev, because Lev is being really sweet but also you don't pull back the curtain for clients. 

yeah I'm okay 

I don't live alone 

is true enough, anyway. 

"I am sober, though," he tells the camera, Sasha's actual literal truth filtered through Luna's clumsy sincerity. 

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racer628: oh are you? how many shots did you have?

10inchbb: guess we're going to have to fix that problem!

10inchbb tipped 100 tokens!

racer628: I notice you haven't put your shirt on yet...

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In PM:

I think you should probably stop for the night

I can cover however much you usually earn from this kind of show?

and then you can sleep it off

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He takes another shot of water and debates whether he wants to take Lev up on that. 

"You paid for another two minutes!" and the giggling and the looseness in his shoulders and the wide loose smile ruins the denial just like it's supposed to. 

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racer628: it's been like four

racer628: be honest you want to keep showing off for us

racer628: you really want to take off your skirt for us

10inchbb: and show us your hard little clitty!

northshore52: R U HARD???????

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I'm worried about you

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He hesitates for real this time, worries his lip with his teeth, makes it part of the show. 

After a few seconds he sends 

don't be

to Lev, and says "But I wasn't going to...." to the camera, casts his eyes down at his knees; he's kneeling on the bed. 

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With the amount you've drunk you're on the verge of alcohol poisoning!

And you didn't want to before and I assume you had a good reason!

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jennybabe2309: ebeautiful 18femalle cam textt me, 267 920-1305... or add Skylype, MeowKis48...

gigelojoe: my dream ts

racer628: you WANT to though

racer628: it would be hot

10inchbb: u could take off ur panties and leave your skirt on and touch urself?

10inchbb: then your not getting ALL the way undressed

10inchbb: just like u promised

10inchbb: and u could fuck your ass and think about my huge dick

espadabynight: TIP HER! TIP HER! TIP HER!

espadabynight tipped 99 tokens!

sonoftroy99: come on! you're DELIBERATELY not getting her drunker

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espadabynight is a sweetheart and Luna appreciates him very much. 

"I don't know...." 

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I don't know where to call the ambulance to if you pass out!

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espadabynight: if you don't like it you can tip

racer628: I like 10inchbb's idea

racer628: just slide off those panties and touch yourself for us

10inchbb: do I have to give you an order

10inchbb: take off your panties slut

10inchbb: I bet you like it when real men give you orders

sonoftroy99 tipped 100 tokens!

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He hates referring to Marlo as anything but his boyfriend, but. 

Lev, I don't live alone 

If I pass out my roommate will call 911 

His hand creeps up his thigh; he doesn't bite his lip, but he looks as though he might like to. "I do — but —" 

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10inchbb: relax

10inchbb: stop worrying about things

10inchbb: just do what feels good

racer628: if you don't want to you don't have to but maybe you should take that drink sonoftroy bought you and see if that changes your mind

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okay I'm just

really worried

and I don't know what to do

I'm sorry

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...he takes another shot. 

"Yeah," and he smiles like he's in bliss, "yeah, I can — just relax — do what feels good —" 

He's still touching his thighs, not his dick. 

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brucewayne has left the room!

(Back home, Lev curls in a ball on his bed and plays a stupid phone game and is sick with worry.)

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10inchbb: touch your clitty for us

10inchbb: touch that sweet little clitty slut

espadabynight: beautiful smile!

racer628: your skirt's still on so you're still basically dressed, right?

racer628: even if you take your panties off and touch your dick for us

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He keeps smiling, lets his eyes fall shut — lets his fingertips go up, slowly, under his skirt, starts to pull his panties down — keeps making little breathy noises. 

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The commenters are enthusiastic, except for the ones that are wandering in with messages like "I want to taste u" and "I do cam 2 cam" and "if I just suck the tip I'm still str8 right?"

He hears the chime of occasional tips.

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Then he'll continue to get himself off on camera; he moans loud when he finishes. 

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In the morning Lev texts him:

are you feeling okay?

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Yeah, I am

I'm feeling great actually 

Are you doing alright? 

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how much do you remember about last night?

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I remember everything that happened 

I guess I don't remember every single person who commented but I can check the logs 

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do you want me to... do something, if you said you weren't going to do a thing and then people pressured you into doing it anyway?

I'm sorry, I didn't know what to do.

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...yeah okay Lev is really sweet and really miserable, he can pull the curtain back a little. 

I'm a camgirl, Lev 

I started that show absolutely 100% intending to have my clothes off by the end 

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oh

sorry I. didn't get it.

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You don't have to be sorry, you were sweet 

it was sweet 

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I'm guessing similarly you were drinking either water or incredibly watered vodka

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water, yeah 

sometimes I mix it up and drink water with some food coloring 

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sorry if I fucked up your show

I'm probably still not going to watch those shows because of, uh, stuff

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you didn't fuck anything up 

and basically nobody watches every show, you don't have to apologize for that 

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Yes, even I sometimes have work.

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even you! <3 

 

And then he texts Asher a screenshot of the conversation and 

hello sanity check please sanity check 

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Cute! Definitely in love with you! Maybe gonna turn into a stalker!

Or at least demand freebies.

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yeah that's my thought too 

goddammit. in the private show he told me right out what he wanted and what he was anxious about it was gr9. 

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Well, save the money so you can block him if he starts getting stalkery without wondering where your next meal is gonna come from.

Keep up your other clients.

Drop hints about living in Maine.

Make your heart as cold and ruthless as ice.

He seems like a rescuer type.

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yeah 

good advice all around 

love you lots. want to complain about clients or not that 

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Sure but my guys are fine.

Got a guy who wants to give me a footrub for an hour and two guys who want to give me $250 and have me make fun of them for two minutes about it.

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nice!!! 

I swear drunk shows attract assholes, I had someone literally type "[username] has tipped 100 tokens" into the chat like I wasn't gonna notice and another tip me exactly one token 

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Well, you are trying to get them to take advantage of you.

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you're not wrong but still!!! 

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Honestly one token is worse than zero tokens????? "Here's the ten cents I'm willing to spend on you."

Your whale really wants you to ask him about his feelings about booze, I think

 But gah clients with feelings.

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yeah. might be worth taking the bait but idk if that's a pattern I want to set 

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He likes you plenty already, probably not worth it.

Unless you really feel like comforting some rich dude about his alkie dad.

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yeah I so do not 

thank you. <33333 

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Love you. <3

We should hang out this afternoon. 

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we should 

I can come over? 

I can wear that skirt, make it that date you promised me :P 

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I'll bring roses and chocolate and a bear that says "I Love You Beary Much."

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don't you dare 

💙 💙 💙 see you, ilu 

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He has the kind of chocolate Sasha likes but neither a teddy bear nor flowers.

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He is in fact wearing the skirt! 

The first thing he does when he gets in the door is hug Asher. 

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"Is that how you say hi to people on a date?" Asher says, and kisses him.

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"It's how I say hello to you." 

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"How rude," Asher says, "when have I ever given you the impression I don't want to kiss you."

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"Never, but you're excellent for hugging." 

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That sounds like an opportunity for a hug.

"How is Richard Gere doing?"

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That is an opportunity for a hug, and an excellent one at that. "Hasn't texted me since the thing I sent to you." 

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"Then you should turn off your phone and snuggle me and argue about Stephen King."

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Sasha will absolutely turn off his phone and snuggle him and argue about Stephen King! 

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In the next month, Lev does not appear to be a stalker or interested in getting freebies!

Lev shows up on time for the ninety-minute shows every Tuesday and Thursday. He mostly wants to talk to Luna about books and movies. His taste in fantasy and science fiction is wide-ranging; he's self-aware of how awful it is. He drops hints, occasionally, about what his life is like, and sounds like he might want Luna to ask about them. He never turns his cam on. The kinks he mentioned in their second show show don't come up; he wants her to strip, to touch herself, to say she likes him and she wants to touch him, to talk about her fantasies, to moan his name. 

Lev texts her a fair amount, but he doesn't freak out when she takes a while to respond.

Lev doesn't always show up to her shows, but he usually does, and he's a pretty big tipper. Once, when Luna puts up a countdown to her riding a dildo, he fills it immediately. 

Luna's cam score rises, and more people come into her room. She's making more money than she ever has before, and not all of it is from him. 

He buys Luna two new dresses, several books, a vibrating buttplug, an art tablet. 

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Sasha sends Asher sanity checks every so often, bitches to Marlo about clients, reads and draws and opens commissions on his art. He continues to not ask about Lev's life; he is not paid nearly well enough to be a therapist. He shows off the vibrating plug at a show; he wears the dresses on camera where Lev will see them; he has opinions about the books.

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One show, Lev opens with, "I didn't get anything done today because I got nerdsniped by a math problem."

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"What math problem is this?" 

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"So if you have some number of bags-- like, the kind you get at the grocery store-- how many different ways are there to stuff the bags inside each other? Like, there's one way for one bag, and also one way for two bags, and two ways for three--"

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"Wouldn't there be two ways for two bags, or do you mean a different thing than I'm thinking of?" 

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"It's easier if there's a picture-- maybe I should turn my cam on?"

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"If it'd help!" 

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He does!

Lev has chin-length dark curly hair and a big nose and a somewhat uncomfortable expression. 

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That tracks! Luna leans forward. "You said it was easier to get with pictures — do you mean that only 'the first bag inside the second inside the third' and 'the first and second bag both inside the third' count as separate ways or do you mean something else?" 

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"Here, I'll show you--"

He sketches this on a piece of paper:

From The Math Behind The Magic

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He thinks about it. "And for four there'd be... three? I think?" 

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He breaks into a huge smile. "You're missing one!"

(He sounds ecstatically happy.)

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"I'm not a math person but there's — hold up —" and he grabs a piece of paper and draws this: 

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"That's really good --I should teach you about graphs, they're faster to draw for this problem-- do you want a hint?"

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"Sure!" 

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"You can move one bag in your third picture to get the fourth one."

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He pauses, and then draws 

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"Yeah, exactly! --The easier way to draw it is called a graph, but it's a weird math meaning of graph. You make each of the bags be a dot, which we call the node, and then you draw a line connecting them if one of them is inside the other one."

He draws:

From The Math Behind The Magic

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"So like this?" 

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"Oh, that's really good! You didn't make a mistake lots of people make when they first learn about graphs, where they treat--"

From The Math Behind The Magic

"--as different graphs. I'm really skeptical about you being bad at math."

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"It's the same kind of problem as pentominoes, I used to mess around with those in middle school. — how many did I miss, I definitely missed some, I can see two that I missed right now." 

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"You missed four! --You see why I didn't get any work done today."

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"I can!

— I've been called a lot of things but I don't think 'good at math' has ever been one of them, thank you." 

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"You have a good mathematical intuition! --Oh, man, if you are good at math and you think you're bad at math, then there are so many math things I can show you."

He literally bounces. 

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That's adorable. 

"You can!" 

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"I never get to teach anybody anything anymore, it sucks. I used to tutor in high school and the beginning of college and then, uh, I accidentally did a startup instead."

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"Well, apparently you can explain math to me." He pauses, then takes the bait. "What's the startup do?" 

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He's very quiet. 

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...okay, if the startup tortures puppies or something that's going to be a problem. "Obviously you don't have to tell me if you don't want." 

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"...I cofounded Yenta."

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He blinks. 

"Cool. I'd ask how the algorithm works but there is approximately a zero percent chance I will understand the answer." 

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"Also I'd have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement which is a bit hard since I don't actually know, like, your name."

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"That too!" 

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"I like how obviously I am the founder who made the algorithm and not the founder who had meetings with angel investors to tell them to give us money."

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"You just generally seem like more of a computer person than a meetings person, it's the getting nerdsniped by interesting math problems." 

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"I'm really more of a psych person! Yenta was an independent study project that got way, way out of hand."

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"Way out of hand," he agrees. 

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"Claire-- my cofounder-- was like 'I'll give you money to keep working on this' and I was like 'sure' because I kind of always needed money and then at some point junior year she was nagging me to finish a feature and I was like 'I have to study for midterms' and she was like 'you're a multimillionaire' and I was like 'what.'"

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"Incredible. Best 'how I made my fortune' story." 

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"I was like 'maybe... I should stop eating ramen and get clothes that don't have holes in them...?'"

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"And did you in fact do that?" 

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"Well, you see, now I am absurdly wealthy and thus I have a cook to make my ramen for me." 

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"Makes sense!" He's only laughing a little bit. 

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"I had to go through like four cooks before I got one that realized that I don't actually like rich people food, I like mac and cheese with hot dogs and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches."

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"I bet!" 

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"You're really beautiful."

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"Thank you." 

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"Do I..." He trails off.

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"You're lovely." 

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"Oh. --Do you want to. See. What I."

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"What you?" He's leaning forward, interested. 

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"What I look like without my clothes on?"

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"Yes, I do." He's still smiling. 

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"Okay."

He stands up. He's not good at this; his face and half his chest are out of frame. Perhaps mercifully, he undresses in a businesslike way without trying to make it sexy. Lev is pale and hairy and he has a little belly pudge, and hopefully he's a grower rather than a shower; he is very, very average-looking.

"What do you think?"

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Luna doesn't stop smiling. "You look like you'd be nice to bite." 

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"Oh," he says quietly, and "do you mind if I--?"

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"Of course not." 

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"I don't normally let camgirls look at me," he says as he sits down and starts to touch himself, "but I should have known you'd be sweet."

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'It is literally my job to be sweet to you, this is what you are paying me for,' he doesn't say. 

"You're easy to be sweet to," he says. 

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"Can you say what you'd do to me? If you were here?"

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Of course he can. 

"I'd curl up in your lap and bite your shoulders, I'd kiss you and bite your lips and play with your hair —" 

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"Oh-- say my name, tell me I'm hot, tell me you like me--"

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"Lev — you're lovely, you're hot, you look like you'd be so good to hug, Lev, I like you —" 

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It's literally her job to say this-- but she sounds so sincere, it's so easy to pretend that she's his girlfriend who loves him and is attracted to him and wants him--

"Oh god," he says, "you're so beautiful, keep going-- do you want to touch yourself too--"

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He doesn't especially, but he reaches down and touches through the fabric anyway. "You make such good sounds, you're so sweet, you have such a nice smile, I want to bite your shoulders I want to pull your hair —" 

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"Get yourself off for me-- get off looking at me--"

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Yeah, that's chill, he can do that. He doesn't stop the stream of praise. 

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Then Lev will finish and gaze adoringly at him. 

"You're so beautiful."

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"Thank you." Quiet. Sincere. 

 

Luna sounds sincere whenever they talk; he uses the gifts Lev got him; he draws more and eats well. He cuddles with Marlo and Asher, bitches about clients and forms opinions on movies, recommends books to Lev, learns about math. 

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And one day Lev asks:

"Do you want to come visit me?"

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"There's people I'd have to check in with, but maybe?" 

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"I was trying to figure out how much is reasonable-- uh, I think I'd pay fourteen thousand dollars for a weekend or forty thousand for a week or seventy thousand for two weeks? And I can't take more time than that off work. Obviously I'd cover your plane tickets and expenses while you're here and stuff."

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On the one hand, holy fuck that is a large number. 

On the other hand, money is useless if you've been murdered. 

"...there are still people I'd have to check in with." 

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"Okay. Do you want to end early so you can talk to them now, or...?"

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"I can finish the show and talk to them afterwards." 

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"Okay."

He's visibly nervous when he's talking to Sasha about math. His smile is tight and his hands are twitching.

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On the one hand, poor Lev. On the other hand, "hello camgirl would you like to come stay with me for a week far away from all your friends and loved ones" is exactly the kind of setup that gets you murdered. He finishes the show and then calls Asher. 

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"What's up? It's gotta be fast, this client likes being ignored for more important things but he's going to get bored if it takes longer than like ten minutes."

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"Lev wants me to fly down to San Francisco. Fourteen thousand for a weekend or forty thousand for a week or seventy thousand for two weeks, plus plane tickets and expenses while I'm there. Do I do it or is that a one way ticket to murder central." 

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"Well, you know who he is. So if he murders you Marlo can call the cops."

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"You're not wrong. One week, I think? And I'll text you and Marlo a couple times a day to check in." 

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"With two weeks you could basically pay off your student loans."

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"Also not wrong. Two weeks it is and I'll deal with things if they come up.

You're the best and I love you." 

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"That's enough money that you can afford to keep some in reserve to buy a plane ticket out if he squicks you. --Get it up front."

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"Yeah. I can do that. Thank you again." 

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"Do you want to keep talking, I can get this guy to lick my feet while I'm on the phone."

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"I think I've got it. And I should get back to Lev anyway, love you." 

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"Love you. Redistribute the billionaire's money."

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He makes an attempt at laughing. "Yep. Will do." 

He hangs up and goes and finds Marlo and curls up next to him. 

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"Hey." He wraps an arm around Sasha's shoulders. "What's up?" 

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"Lev wants me to visit him. Seventy thousand for two weeks. 

Asher thinks I should do it, I'd be able to pay off most of my student loans — and I'd check in a couple times a day and —" 

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"I'd be worried about you but — we know his full name, it isn't like you're meeting someone we don't know anything about —" 

He's mostly convincing himself. 

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"Yeah. That's what Asher said too. 

He's been sweet so far. And we do need the money. — I'd get it up front, so I can get a ticket back early if he freaks me out —" 

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What he needs isn't an assurance that everything will be fine. 

"I'll call every evening and we can text and I'll be right here. And you can come back early if he freaks you out, and if anything happens we'll know where you are — do you want to put something on your phone so I know where you are, we can do that —" 

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"I don't know." 

He buries his face in Marlo's shoulder. 

 

"....if we delete it as soon as I get back, I think yes." 

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"Okay." He holds him tighter, more protective. "We can do that together. I love you." 

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"I love you." 

 

 

That evening he texts Lev 

I can do two weeks but I want the money upfront 

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of course

when are you free?

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I could fly down the Tuesday three weeks from now and leave two Tuesdays later? 

If that works for you 

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sounds good!

jsyk I don't... actually like sex that much in person

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that's chill 

I'll make sure to bring my art tablet

and you can tell me all about math 

<3 

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okay <3

I want to kiss you and hold you

and maybe go out, san francisco has a lot of cool touristy stuff

we can go shopping

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I'll make sure to leave room in my suitcase! 

kissing and holding sounds lovely <3 

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maybe I will do kink things?

but it's kind of problematic

because I want to do things to you that you don't want

and I also don't want to... hurt you

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He types a message and deletes it and then types

I'm sure we'll be able to figure something out that works 

and sends. 

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okay

and if not I'd really be happy just to see you smile

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....cute. 

I'm always happy to smile for you <3 

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For the next three weeks, Lev can't concentrate on anything except Luna. 

He reads a book and thinks about maybe reading snuggled up next to Luna. He tries to write code and finds his mind drifting off to thinking about Luna. He watches a movie and imagines watching it with Luna. He spends perhaps a slightly excessive amount of time trying to get the house ready for her. (His staff, appalled, find themselves working as many as twenty hours a week.)

His private shows keep returning to the topic of how much he wants to hold her and kiss her and pet her hair and how he is so excited and happy and this is the best thing he can imagine. 

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Sasha is especially cuddly with Marlo; he packs and repacks, debates which dresses Lev likes seeing him in most and how much space to leave for the flight home. He draws; he does shows; he talks to Lev about being held and kissed and cuddled and about how happy he is. He downloads a tracker app with Marlo and watches as Marlo sets it up and is quietly reassured by its presence buried in the utilities folder of his phone. 

He brings Luna's clothes with him, mostly — dresses Lev bought him, skirts and cute shorts, a few of Marlo's shirts. The flight to San Francisco from Seattle isn't long, and the airport is quiet on a Tuesday morning. 

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And he's met in the airport by an extremely smiley Lev.

"Hi, Luna!"

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Alright. He puts Luna on like a coat. 

"Hi!" He hugs Lev at the arrivals gate. 

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"Oh. --It's really nice to get to touch you," Lev says into Luna's hair.

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He nuzzles his shoulder and then squeezes and then lets go. "I don't have any checked bags — I assume you have the ride to your house worked out?" 

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"Yeah, I have a driver. You smell nice," he says wonderingly.

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"Thank you." 

The drive is fairly long but they can cuddle in the car, if Lev wants. 

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He does want this!!!!

"You're so warm."

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"You're so warm." 

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He's bouncing when they pull up to his house. 

His house is, not to put too fine a point on it, a small gothic castle. 

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....cute. 

Luna is maybe staring a little obviously at the architecture. 

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"Do you like it?"

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"It's so earnest," which is not a word generally used to describe architecture but fuck it he's sticking with it. 

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"I wanted to live in an Addams Family house."

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"That's an adorable thing to want in a house." He's assuming the inside does not look like the Addams family. 

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It does not!

"I'll show you where you'll be staying?"

Lev hesitantly reaches out to hold Luna's hand.

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Luna takes it, laces their fingers together. 

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He opens a door. 

"This is the guest bedroom. You can lock it from the inside but it doesn't have a key, sorry. I got you some things, they're in the closet and the dresser."

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....huh. A room that locks from the inside. 

He feels safer already. 

"It's lovely," he says earnestly, and puts his suitcase down by the dresser. 

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He sits on the bed. "Want to look at what I got you?"

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"Sure!" He opens the dresser, isn't really sure what he's expecting to be inside. 

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Extremely soft, oversized sweatpants and shirts and sweaters! Designer makeup! A wallet with several hundred-dollar bills in it! A second wallet which announces that it is a Sketching Wallet and turns out to contain sixteen pencils and a sketchpad!

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"Oh they're soft." 

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"I'm glad you like them!"

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"Of course I like them, they're lovely. — I kind of want to change into them but I should take a shower first, planes are gross, where can I do that?" 

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"The other door leads to the bathroom. I'll-- I was about to say I'll go to the library but it's easy to get lost in this house, I'll hang out in the hallway in front of your room with a book."

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"Cool!" he says, and hugs Lev briefly before he heads into the bathroom. 

It's a very nice shower, of course. He takes a while in it, doesn't worry about using up the hot water, and changes into leggings and one of his skirts and a very soft shirt once he gets out. 

He pauses in his room for a moment. Being Luna 24/7 is going to be — a lot. He texts Asher and Marlo 

made it to his house, I'm in a guest room that locks from the inside 

love you

and then opens the door to the hallway. 

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Lev hugs him. "You look great."

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He hugs Lev back, puts his head on Lev's shoulder. "Thank you. And thank you for the shirt, it's exactly as soft on the inside." 

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"I got you some shoes and dresses too, they're in the closet."

Lev very cautiously kisses Luna's cheek.

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"I'll make sure to check out the closet, then," and he turns and kisses Lev's cheek. 

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!!!!!

He gently kisses Luna's lips.

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He kisses Lev back, just as gentle. 

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"I want to keep showing you the house," Lev murmurs into his lips, "but I don't want to stop kissing you."

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"You could — mm — bring me to a place to sit down — and then we can keep kissing once we're there —" 

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"That sounds like a good plan. --My bedroom's over on the other side of the house."

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"I should learn the way there, then!" 

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On the way there, Lev says, "you can email Edith-- she's my cook-- and tell her what kind of food you like to eat. I usually try to stay in the upper floors of the house because the staff like working on their novels and stuff when they're technically supposed to be working and it's awkward to pretend not to notice."

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....cute. 

"I'll do that!" 

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"We can do whatever you want while you're here-- we could go to Golden Gate Park, or SFMOMA, or City Lights Books, or we could go out to nice restaurants if you want, or go shopping, or just cuddle and watch a movie--"

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"I like Golden Gate Park and the MOMA! But cuddling and watching movies also sounds excellent." 

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"You're amazing."

And they're at Lev's room and Lev pulls Luna onto the bed and kisses her.

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Mmm. Kissing is nice, Luna's good at kissing, he can do this. 

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Lev kisses her shoulder and says, "I might end up having a panic attack, if I do you can just hold me and say reassuring things until it's done?"

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Seventy thousand. "Of course I can," and he kisses Lev's forehead and presses his shoulder against Lev's mouth. 

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"We can have sex if you want to," he says, "I don't-- object to it, I just probably won't get much out of it other than you being happy."

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"I think not right now," and he kisses Lev's cheek, and then his shoulder. "Maybe later but for now I like just kissing you." 

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"You're very nice to kiss," he says, and pulls Luna on top of him.

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He keeps kissing Lev! Lev's hair is soft and good for putting your hands in. 

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Luna's hair is also soft and good for putting your hands in!

Lev thinks they should not actually leave the bed for the next, oh, hour.

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That is totally fine by Luna. 

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Maybe Luna should not be wearing a shirt.

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Maybe he shouldn't! 

His skin is very soft and his shoulders are right there by Lev's mouth. 

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Luna said she liked to be bitten.

Lev is willing to try it!

(He feels a little bit like he's floating somewhere to the left of his body.)

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Mmm. He goes soft and sweet and cuddly and trembly under Lev's mouth. 

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Oh.

Oh, that's--

He wants Luna to touch him. 

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Luna can touch him, runs his hands down Lev's back and settles them on Lev's hips. 

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He kisses the place he bit and says, "it's possible I'd like sex if it were with you."

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"I'm honored." 

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Lev bites her again, puts a hand in her hair, and pulls.

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He tilts his head back and presses up against Lev's mouth and moans. 

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"You're so beautiful," he says, "such a good girl."

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Yeah okay he can play along with that scene. "Your good girl," he agrees, "such a good girl for you." 

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"So beautiful," bite, "you make me so happy."

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He moans again, and, "good." 

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He kisses Luna, pulls off his shirt, and returns to kissing her.

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He puts his hands back on Lev's sides and kisses him. 

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Lev kisses down her neck, her chest, her stomach.

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Maybe he should have the rest of his clothes off too. 

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"You said later."

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"That's true," he says, and he goes back to touching Lev's hair. 

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Lev presses a kiss into her forehead. "Do you want to see my library?"

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"I'd love to."

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Then Lev will put his shirt back on and show her!

Lev's library would work well as a small city library, except that all of the nonfiction is about social science and history and programming, and the fiction is not organized in a way that would get people other than Lev to be able to find books. The shelves include "Economically Implausible Dystopias," "Economically Plausible Dystopias" (this one has like two books), "Sexy Paranormal Romance (Gay Vampires)", "Sexy Paranormal Romance (Straight Vampires)", "Sexy Paranormal Romance (No Vampires)", "I Liked This When I Was Thirteen (DO NOT REREAD!!!!!)", and "Author Plausibly Has A Transformation Fetish."   

There's a shelf near the front labeled 'Books for Luna.'

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"....I love it, oh my god." What's on the 'Books for Luna' shelf?

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"I pulled all the books you mentioned not having read that weren't on your wishlist," Lev says, "and there are some other ones I think you might like-- they're all yours if you want them."

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"Getting them home might be a bit of a challenge! But thank you, it's amazing." Lev needs to be hugged. 

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"You could take them on the plane?"

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"I've only got so much room in my suitcase." 

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"...I can get you another suitcase? Unless suitcases are surprisingly expensive?"

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...rich people. "Sure, if you'll also pay the checked-bag fee, airlines are the worst." 

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"Sorry, I don't know how airplanes work, my life can be pretty neatly divided into 'too poor to fly anywhere' and 'can borrow my cofounder's private plane.'"

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"Makes sense." He nuzzles Lev's shoulder. "Anyway. It's awesome, thank you." 

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"You're welcome." Lev kisses her.

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Mmm. Kissing is nice, kissing is easy. He misses Marlo already. 

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"You can go back to your room whenever you want some time alone," Lev says, "although of course I'd be happy to spend as much time with you as you want."

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"I don't need time alone just yet but I'll keep that in mind." 

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"I'm sorry I'm-- kind of bad at people."

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"It's okay. You're doing fine." 

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"I haven't actually ever had, uh. Friends."

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"Well, I like talking to you, so." 

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"Thank you. --I realize you're just saying that because I'm paying you but it's still nice."

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"I mean, it's also true, talking to you about books and math is fun." 

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"Thank you." He touches Luna's hair. "I really do just want you to be happy."

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What the hell do you say to that. He is so not qualified for this. 

He pets Lev's hair and says "You're a sweetheart." 

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Lev kisses her, gentle and sweet.

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This he is qualified for; he kisses Lev back, just as sweet. 

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"I want to make you feel good."

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What the hell do you say — 

"I'm glad." 

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He kisses Luna's cheek, kisses down her neck, and bites one of the places he bit before.

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He moans when Lev bites him, puts his hand on Lev's hair. 

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"Can I-- uh, I was going to say blow you, but then I didn't want you to feel self-conscious about your genitals, but 'eat you out' is kind of ambiguous--"

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"You can just call it my dick. And maybe we should go back to your room first?" 

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"Okay." He kisses her again. 

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Then they can kiss and go back to Lev's room! 

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He pulls her onto the bed and runs his hands through her hair and kisses her. "You're so beautiful."

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He makes soft happy noises at the hands in his hair and kisses him back. 

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He pulls off her shirt and returns his hands to her hair and does not say "I love you."

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He keeps making happy noises and arches his back into Lev and does not say 'you feel all wrong to be Marlo' or 'god I miss my boyfriend.' 

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He puts one hand in Luna's hair and pulls and scratches her with the other and kisses her.

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It is very obvious from listening to him just how much he likes having his hair pulled. 

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Gosh. Well, Lev can keep doing that, then. With two hands.

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Mmmmmmmgood. 

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"Such a good girl," he says, "you like getting hurt for me, don't you?"

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"Yeah — your good girl, so good for you, your pretty thing —" 

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He strokes her chest gently. "I should tie you up," he says, "I should tie you up and whip you until you're bruised-- would you like that?"

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"I like biting better than whipping." He leans into Lev's touch. "But being tied up sounds amazing." 

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"I can tie you up and bite you then!"

Lev is reminded of what an excellent idea biting is.

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Yesgood biting is an excellent idea. Lev should keep doing that. 

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He can keep doing that!

He can also reach up under Luna's skirt.

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He's hard; he presses his hips forward into Lev's hand. 

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Lev touches her dick and moans into her shoulder.

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Cute. 

He moans when Lev touches him, puts his hands on Lev's head and lets himself close his eyes and lean into him. 

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"I want to suck you off," he says, "but I also don't want to stop biting you. I need two mouths."

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"You're so sweet," he says, "keep touching me." 

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"Okay," he says, and he bites Luna's shoulder hard and keeps touching her dick.

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He goes sweet and trembly and whimpery under Lev's mouth — thinks about Marlo, thinks about Asher — lets his hips move — Marlo's face Marlo's chest remember Marlo's mouth — whines when he's getting close — 

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Lev kisses her and stops touching her dick.

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"Please —" 

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He brushes Luna's dick lightly with his fingers. 

"I don't know, I'm not sure you want it."

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He whines and presses into his hand — tries to, anyway — "Lev, Lev please —" 

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Lev bites her neck and starts to jerk her off.

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Think about Marlo think about kissing him think about his teeth in your hip — he comes. 

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Lev snuggles up with her and tucks her hair behind her ear. 

"You're so good."

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"Thank you," a murmur. 

He's very cuddly. 

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"I haven't ever actually liked having sex before."

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"I'm glad you liked it with me, then," he says quietly, plays with Lev's hair. 

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"I think I like you better than the girls I saw before."

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He's still playing with Lev's hair. "That would make sense." 

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"Because I know you better. And also you're amazing."

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"You're so sweet." 

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"I try."

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"You succeed." 

Does Lev want Sasha to touch him? 

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Well, he's definitely hard, but on the other hand he seems to be perfectly happily petting Luna's hair and kissing her cheek.

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Then he'll play with Lev's hair and lay his head on Lev's chest and make happy noises at Lev's touch and that will be that. 

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"It's so nice to get to hold you," he says, "I feel-- like a bunch of anxiety I had had for so long I kind of forgot I had it just went away."

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It is sort of his job to comfort Lev about having been touch starved but oh God he is so not qualified. "It's nice to be held," he says, and snuggles him. "People need that." 

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"It's nice to be held by somebody I like," he says. "I hire a girl to come in and hold me once a week but it's not the same."

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"Yeah. It wouldn't be." It literally hasn't even been a day since he hugged his Marlo but he misses him. 

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"I know I shouldn't ask but-- do you-- have somebody?"

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Yeah. You shouldn't ask.

"Yeah. I do." 

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"That's good. I-- want you to be okay."

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.....he's just going to cuddle Lev more instead of trying to reply. God, this is awkward. 

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And now Lev is crying quietly into his shoulder.

Sorry about the profound awkwardness!

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Oh God oh god he is so not qualified for this he is a camgirl he is not a therapist —

"Hey," he says, very softly, "hey, I've got you, it's okay, you're okay —" 

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"Thank you," he says quietly into Luna's shoulder.

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So! Not! Qualified! 

"I've got you," just as quiet, and he cradles Lev's head. 

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"Sorry. You don't have to stay here with me if you don't want to."

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"Yeah, well, I'm the one who's here and you clearly need someone," he doesn't say. 

"I'm staying anyway," he says. 

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"Thank you," he says, and continues to cry into Luna's shoulder. "Sorry. I know it's not-- attractive."

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Sasha holds him. "That's okay. Your feelings don't need to be attractive, they're yours," more because it's the only thing he can think of than because it's actually particularly applicable to the situation at hand. 

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The crying takes on a somewhat happier tone. 

"Thank you," he says, "you're so kind to me."

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I am repeating things my boyfriend has said when I've cried on him, he doesn't say. 

"You're easy to be sweet to," he says. 

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"It's a lot better to have someone here."

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"Yeah." He's not getting any less cuddly. "I'm glad I can help." 

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"You're helping a lot." He sighs. "You're perfect. I feel like I can tell you anything."

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"I'm glad." 

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He's stopped crying but he's still cuddling up to Luna.

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Luna can keep cuddling him. 

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Eventually he asks, "what do you want to do tonight?"

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"Watching a movie sounds fun?" 

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"Sure! We can watch whatever you want."

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"Miyazaki or schlocky horror movies, your choice." 

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"And let me guess, saying 'the one that would make you happiest' is cheating. --Miyazaki."

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"They'd both make me happy! That was the point!"

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"I said 'Miyazaki,' didn't I? --The problem is that I can watch particular movies whenever I want, but opportunities to make a pretty girl smile are very scarce, so I want to do the latter as much as I can while you're here."

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"That makes sense." He's smiling, warm. 

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"We can go to the movie room and get Edith to make us dinner?"

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"That sounds lovely." He kisses Lev's cheek before he stands up and puts clothes on and then follows him to the movie room. 

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Well, that is definitely a movie theater screen inside a person's house. And a popcorn machine. With flavors both reasonable (cheese, caramel) and unreasonable (mint chocolate chip, "cornfetti"). 

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He is not at all sure he wants to know what "cornfetti" is or how mint chocolate chip mixes with butter and salt but he sure will eat caramel popcorn while he cuddles with Lev. 

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"Do you have a preference on which Miyazaki or should I pick?"

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"I like Howl's Moving Castle but they're all good." 

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Then they can snuggle and watch Howl's Moving Castle on the movie-sized screen and eat caramel popcorn. And maybe make out. Lev has suggestions.

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They can make out some but Sasha actually does like this movie and want to watch it. 

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That's totally okay. 

Lev talks constantly. About five minutes in, he pauses it, turns on the subtitles, and continues to talk incessantly about how he really feels that Howl and Sophie's relationship was better-handled in the book. 

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That's cute and also that's totally legit but the book and the movie are really just totally different genres and it's a little like comparing apples to oranges, you know? Fairy tale subversions just work differently than fairy tales. 

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He totally understands that they're different genres! It's just that Howl and Sophie have this really wonderful dynamic in the book where they're both kind of assholes and a lot of it is lost in the movie. 

(Does Luna like Diana Wynne Jones. Is there Diana Wynne Jones that Luna has not read. This is IMPORTANT.)

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Luna likes Diana Wynne Jones but has not read every single book she has written, no. 

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Lev is going to FIX THIS.

Not right now though, right now they're watching the movie.

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Lev is an excellent person to watch movies with. 

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Bounce bounce bounce. 

"I didn't know I talked during movies! Sorry. I would have warned you."

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"It's fine! I like talking about movies and you're fun to talk about them with." 

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He puts his head on Luna's shoulder. "You can tell me to shut up. --Want to watch another movie?"

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"Yes. Yes I do. My Neighbor Totoro?" 

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Lev has MANY OPINIONS on this one too. 

He seems sort of startled by how many opinions he has.

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Sasha also has lots of opinions! And is happy to have subtitles on while they talk about their opinions! 

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By the end of the movie Lev is gazing adoringly at Luna like she is the most important person in the world.

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That's.... a lot. Not a bad a lot but a lot a lot. 

"Probably at some point we should go to bed." 

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"Yeah," he says, and kisses her. "Goodnight."

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"Goodnight."

He kisses him and then goes back to his guest room, changes into sweats and Marlo's shirt and calls Marlo. 

"Hey. 

 

"Yeah, I'm okay, I just — needed to hear your voice. I love you. I miss you already, can you believe that?

 

"Goodnight." 

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how are things going with richard gere

do I need to send in a rescue party

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it's a lot 

he cried on me and apparently I'm the first person he's ever enjoyed sex with so that was a thing 

but nothing rescue requiring and for 200 something an hour including the hours I'm asleep or we're watching movies or something it's totally worth it 

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well maybe if you're the only person he's ever enjoyed sex with he'll hire you again

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Asher I love you but let's wait until I'm home to think about him hiring me again 

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all right <3

do you need to talk about things

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he keeps crying on me 

I say keeps, it's only happened once 

but he just, started crying on me and telling me how he's never enjoyed sex before and I'm so good and so kind to him and just 

what the hell do you do 

I awkwardly patted his back and played with his hair and repeated things I sorta remembered m saying to me when I was crying but man I'm not qualified for this 

I'm a camgirl not a therapist idk what I'm doing 

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that sounds

somewhat awkward

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it was 

fortunately half remembered platitudes were enough but it was so awkward. the most awkward. 

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possibly he just needs someone to be nice to him?

it is hard to imagine "people who are nice to you" is a thing a billionaire would have a shortage of though

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apparently he has literally never had a friend! I am not super sure how that works but you know what I'm not gonna ask about 

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really bad social anxiety?

how do you... found a company... without having friends

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he was working on the algorithm as a side project, his cofounder offered him money to keep doing it, he said sure because he needed the money and three years later he found out he was a multimillionaire 

he is not nearly socially together enough to be doing the business part of the business 

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lucky for him his cofounder didn't just steal the money

it is ALSO weird that the cofounder of yenta is this bad at people

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it really is 

idk he's real good at teaching math? and the skills needed to make a good algorithm are plausibly really different from the skills needed to hold a normal conversation that is neither hopelessly depressing nor about science fiction 

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for example in order to write an algorithm you don't need to have, like, some aspect of your life that is not depressing

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yeah that 

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love you <3

you can text me when you need a break from being Luna, I'll keep my phone on me

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you're the best and I love you 

💙 💙 💙

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When he wakes up in the morning, there's a note:

something at my foundation exploded, sorry, I don't know when I'll be done working

edith can get you food. feel free to go explore the city or hang out in my library or the movie theater. there's money in the wallet and you can ask alex to drive you places

and then something scribbled out.

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....is the scribbled out thing about the right length to be "love you"? 

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It is a little bit too long to be love you!

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That's alright then. Sasha is going to grab books from the library and hang out in the movie theater with his art tablet and draw and watch movies and read. 

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And in the midafternoon Lev is going to appear in the movie theater!

"Sorry. I hope you had a nice day."

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He puts Luna back on. "I did!" 

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"I hope that's not going to happen again, but uh. Things."

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"Sometimes stuff explodes unexpectedly, I get it. Hug me?" 

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"Yeah." He does. "I won't bother to explain all of it, it's probably really boring to people who aren't me."

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"I don't know, lots of things are interesting," he says, and hugs Lev. 

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"I can try," he says, "but you have to stop me if you're bored."

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"I promise if I'm bored I will stop you." 

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"The short version is that we check whether our grantees are actually doing the program they claim to be doing, and the study on the charity that gives cash to people in the developing world came in, and only about sixty percent of people cash was offered to actually took up the cash. So I was in a meeting talking about what the fuck was going on."

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"That's not boring, but alright." He puts his head on Lev's shoulder. "You have a really nice movie theater. And really soft hair, have I mentioned that?" 

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"Thank you! I'm glad you like it. What did you do all day?"

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"Read part of a book, watched some movies, drew. It was nice." And texted Asher but you know. Hugging Lev is nice. 

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"It sounds like a really nice day. Can I see what you drew?"

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"Sure, if you tell me more about what the fuck turned out to be going on." 

He switches on the tablet; there's one piece, half finished, of a girl with the night sky for hair. 

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"Oh, wow, that's gorgeous. --It turned out that they thought the cash-transfer charity was a Satanist cult."

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"— what!" 

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"In their defense, what would you think if someone gave everyone you know a year's income for no reason?"

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Is Lev aware that he has in fact given Sasha a ridiculous amount of money and gifts for no good reason. 

"My first guess would not be 'Satanist cult'!" 

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"I think the thought process is something like 'well, what are they getting in exchange? Probably your soul.'"

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"That's fair but because I am familiar with the concept of charity," and also because of my entire job, "my first assumption for what someone is getting out of it would be different." 

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"They are familiar with the concept of charities but apparently 'a charity that gives you money with which you can buy textbooks if you want' seems more Satanic than 'a charity that gives you textbooks.'"

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"...fair, I guess." He is extremely aware that if something looks like there are no strings attached that just means you can't see the strings, he just — 

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"You okay?"

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— right. Yeah. Luna doesn't have a tragic backstory. Tragic backstories are not hot and if the whale has a weird kink then fake tragic backstories are always hotter than real ones. "I'm fine, just thinking." He cuddles Lev some more. 

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Lev pets her hair. "You can talk to me if you want to, or I can leave you alone for a bit."

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"Keep petting my hair?" 

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"Sure." 

He's quiet while he does.

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He is just..... not going to open up about this. He's going to keep his head on Lev's chest and enjoy his hair being pet. 

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Lev is going to keep being quiet and petting her hair until she says something.

(It's-- nice, to be safe enough that Luna will be sad around him, even if she doesn't say anything. He doesn't have any right to expect that she would want to say anything. Being allowed to hold her at all is a privilege and he is grateful for it.)

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After what feels like forever but is objectively speaking not very long, Sasha says, "do you want to find somewhere with a bed so we can cuddle more?" 

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He kisses her hair and is momentarily delighted by being allowed to kiss her hair. "If you want to." 

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"Wouldn't have suggested it if I didn't." He kisses whatever patch of skin is in front of his face. 

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He is very pleased by having his neck kissed!

They can cuddle in the bedroom.

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Yeah. They can. 

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He is pretty sure he is the happiest person in the world actually.

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That's a little concerning but it's very sweet. 

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He is not going to say anything and he is going to pet Luna's hair and be so so happy and mildly concerned at himself for being happy when she is maybe not happy and also kind of turned on.

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Sasha is very cuddly. And very much likes having his hair played with. 

He'll keep kissing Lev's neck, not constantly but every few minutes. 

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He makes happy little whimpery noises whenever she kisses his neck.

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He won't stop, then. 

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He is sort of concerned that Luna might still be sad but neck kissing is very nice.

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Is there a way to distract him from the fact that Sasha is genuinely unsure if he's still sad or not. 

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Judging by the soft little noises neck kissing seems to be working.

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He'll keep doing that then; he kisses his way up and down Lev's neck, scrapes his teeth against Lev's throat. 

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The use of teeth leads to a small broken moan.

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What if he bites. 

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Then Lev will grab the sheets with his hands and moan very loudly.

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That's a good sound. 

Sasha is not going to stop biting him, after a sound like that. 

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"Oh god-- oh god-- Luna--"

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"Lev —" and he bites again, hard enough to leave a mark. 

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"I like it when you say my name."

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"It's a nice name. Lev." He bites Lev's neck again. 

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"Oh, oh-- Luna, you're so good, you're so-- mine, my good girl, my good Luna, my beautiful Luna--"

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"Your good girl," bite, "your pretty girl, your Luna, yours —" bite, again, hard enough to leave a mark.  

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"Oh--" he says. His hips are sort of thrusting up into the air.

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Sasha reaches down and palms Lev's dick through his pants. 

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He hisses and says, "I want to see your mouth on me. Get a condom?"

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He gets a condom and pulls Lev's pants down and rolls it on, kisses Lev's stomach and hips. 

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"You're so beautiful," he says affectionately, "and such a tease."

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"You love when I tease," he says, and sinks down on Lev's cock. 

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He puts his hands in Luna's hair and pulls.

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Sasha moans around him, lets his eyes close. 

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"You're so beautiful," he says, "Luna, you're so good-- thank you-- you're so good at this-- good girl--"

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He nods and sucks harder, moans again. 

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Lev finishes embarrassingly quickly.

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That's alright. 

They can cuddle but Sasha isn't particularly turned on. 

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Lev will observe this and (she doesn't-- but what did you expect--) start biting her shoulder.

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.....Sasha is distinctly less cuddly. 

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"Sorry?"

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"It's alright. Just. Maybe not right now." 

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Forehead kiss. "Okay. --Uh, I'm sorry if you didn't want to suck me off and I pressured you, I don't want you to do sex things you don't want to do."

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"You didn't pressure me and I didn't do anything I didn't want to, I just — not right now." 

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"Okay."

He will just... hold Luna until she feels like talking, then.

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Sasha has sort of a lot of feelings but being held is nice. 

"....you're soft," he says after a couple of minutes of silence. 

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"Thank you."

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That was probably the wrong thing to say but he's had a lot of feelings and figuring out the right thing and saying it sounds like it would involve more feelings. He makes a soft noise and cuddles the available cuddleable person, who is Lev. 

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If it was the wrong thing to say Lev isn't giving any signs of it.

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That's good. 

"....we should probably have food or something." 

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"Yeah. I can text Edith and she can bring us something and then we don't have to get out of bed? Unless you want to."

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"Not having to get out of bed is good." 

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He does and then he says--

"I'm sorry if this is the wrong thing to say and you definitely don't have to but. --If it would help to talk to me you can."

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........it would help to talk to someone but his internal Asher is making very concerned faces. 

"I think that's a line I'd rather not blur, but thank you." 

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"Okay. If you want to text someone and still be held I can-- I was going to say 'I can not look' but it would be totally fair of you not to trust me to do that and 'you can blindfold me' feels kind of silly. And of course you can go to your own room for a bit too. Whatever you need."

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"....I trust you as far as "don't look at my phone screen,"" he says, and pulls out his phone and texts Asher 

whyyyyyyyy are feelings

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what's up

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a thing came up with his charity foundation, something about the recipients thinking it was satanic because who just gives away money 

I started thinking about free lunches and invisible strings 

this sent me in predictable directions 

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hugs

I think you... know what the string attached to this one is

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yes the string here is not invisible 

I just am having a whole bunch of feelings 

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Lev's eyes are closed and he's pretending that he's holding his girlfriend who loves him back and it's-- not real but it's okay. It's okay.

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Sasha puts his phone down and snuggles him. 

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you can always leave him, he paid you up front

if it's not worth the hassle anymore

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it *is* though 

I'm not walking out I'm just. having some leftover feelings 

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okay 

<3

I wish I could hug you

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yeah 

<33 

wish I could hug you too 

(am currently being hugged. it's pretty nice but it's not you.) 

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that's sweet

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I love you a lot. 

gonna kiss you so much when I get home 

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gonna blow you

I'm the best at heterosexuality

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I'm fucking a really weird number of straight guys considering everything 

I love you so much 

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love you too

am here to listen to you about your feelings

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you sure are <3333 

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<3

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Lev's eyes are still closed. He kisses Luna's shoulder.

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He reaches up and starts playing with Lev's hair. 

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They can keep doing this for a while!

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Sasha might fall asleep on his chest. 

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!!!!!!!!!!!

Lev might stay very still and not sleep and watch her.

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He makes soft noises in his sleep and cuddles up to Lev. 

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This is literally the happiest he has ever been in his entire life.

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Mmmmmmmm Lev is soft. 

When he wakes up he forgets, for a moment, that he isn't in his own bed, and smiles up at Lev like he's in love and then remembers where he is and who he's with and — doesn't stop. 

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!!!!!!

Lev kisses her forehead. "Have a nice nap?"

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"Yeah. 

You're soft." 

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"You're soft."

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"Not as soft as you." 

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Kiss. "How could we possibly settle this debate?"

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Kiss. "We have to cuddle more. There's no other way." 

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"Gosh. --You don't have to, you know."

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"Cuddle you? It was my suggestion." 

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Lev pets her hair. "I don't want to demand that you spend all day with me. People should get time off from work."

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"I spent most of the day drawing and watching movies, and also I think it changes the calculus if you're allowed to nap on the job." Having his hair pet is really nice. 

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"You are definitely allowed to nap on the job. You look so peaceful when you sleep."

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"You're so cute." Honestly, as clients to spend two weeks with go, Lev is a dream. Even with the crying. 

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"But you should also take time to yourself if you need it. --Tell me about the movies you were watching?"

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Sasha is happy to talk to him about the Series of Unfortunate Events movie and the first Avengers movie. 

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!!!!!!!

Luna is talking to him about movies and snuggling him like he really has a girlfriend.

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Lev is very cute and would he like to hear about Sasha's elaborate Avengers AU where he ignores all the parts of canon he doesn't like and the team is a happy found family who all live together and what is Civil War he's never heard of it? 

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Yes. He very much does want to hear about that.

He's bouncing a little bit.

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That's cute! Sasha is so happy to talk about his Avengers AU with someone who hasn't already heard all about it. 

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Luna is amazing and wonderful and perfect and should talk about whatever she wants to talk about.

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That's kind of a lot but it's a nice a lot. 

He's not going to stop cuddling Lev. 

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That is completely fine by Lev.

He will eventually untangle enough to text Edith to bring them dinner and then he will immediately return to cuddling.

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They might have to untangle again to eat dinner once it's brought to them. 

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A few bites into his fried rice, Lev says, "I want to talk to you about the kind of stuff I'm into about-- kink things. And you can totally veto all of it, I would be so happy just to get to suck your dick. But. In case there's overlap."

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"Yeah, for sure!" 

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He looks so uncomfortable.

"I get off on-- having power. I like humiliation. I like making people insult themselves. I like giving really petty orders-- like, jumping jacks or making you spin in circles or enter and leave the room. I like the idea of fucking someone while they say no." He's blushing. "I like. Uh. I'm really sorry about this but. I like misgendering girls like you. Sorry."

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.........oh my god. 

"You can misgender me as much as you want," and he's grinning. 

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"Really?"

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"Yeah. Really." 

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"Do you think it's hot, or...?"

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How to put this. 

".....it's complicated and weird but I really honestly truly don't mind you doing it or finding it hot." 

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"You're so perfect."

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"I'm glad." 

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"What about the other things?"

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"Fucking me while I say no is.... not going to work. Orders are fine, getting off on having power over me is fine." 

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Lev kisses her.

"I know you're a girl really, that's why it's hot."

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That is a very sweet and admirable sentiment and it's a shame that it is totally misplaced. "I know you do." 

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Lev's hand is in her hair and he's kissing her.

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And he relaxes into Lev and the hand in his hair and kisses him back. 

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"Are you sure it's okay?"

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"Extremely." 

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"Good boy."

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Oh fuck he actually does kink like hell on this. 

"Yeah," soft and breathy, and he lets his head fall forward onto Lev's shoulder. "Your good boy. Always your good boy." 

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"My good boy," and the hand on his hair is pulling, "so good, you'll do whatever I want, won't you?"

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"Yeah — of course — your good boy —" 

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Lev shoves her back on the bed and pulls off her shirt. "Good little toy, good little thing for me to use..."

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He goes where he's pushed.

"Yeah — your pretty toy —" 

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"Keep talking."

He bites her chest, kisses along her stomach, bites her hip.

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"Your good boy your pretty toy your plaything your slut your good boy your —" not Sasha — "your Luna your sweet thing your pretty thing your boy your toy —" 

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Lev pulls down her skirt and says, "I'd be happy to blow you without a condom if you wanted to."

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"Absolutely not." 

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"Okay," he says, and grabs a condom and puts it on and starts to suck her off. He digs his fingers into her thighs.

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Hs moans and tilts his head back and lets his spine arch and pulls Lev's hair hard. 

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He pulls off, says "keep talking or I'll stop," and returns to sucking. His fingers are digging in hard enough to bruise.

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He keeps up the stream of "good boy your good boy pretty toy for you such a good boy such a pretty boy and yours all yours —" 

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Lev is moaning around her dick. One of his hands reaches up to dig into the place on her hips he bit. 

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— and Sasha's voice breaks and he moans loud and comes. 

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He stares up at her. "You're so beautiful."

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"You're amazing." 

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"Thank you."

(He snuggles up to her. He's very hard.) 

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Sasha puts one thigh between his legs and cuddles up to him and maybe squirms more than is necessary for cuddling. 

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Well, then, he's going to start hissing and moaning.

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Oh good. Sasha pulls his hair and keeps shifting against his dick and kisses him and bites his lip. 

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"You're so-- good--"

He whimpers.

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"You're lovely." 

Maybe Sasha should touch Lev with his hand as well as letting him grind against his thigh. 

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Maybe he-- should--

Lev thrusts ineffectually against her hand.

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"Good boy," he says, and kisses him, keeps moving his hand, keeps applying pressure, doesn't take the other hand out of Lev's hair. "Good boy — you're so pretty — you make such gorgeous sounds —" 

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He makes a little tiny broken whimper and finishes all over Luna's hand.

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He wipes off his hand and kisses Lev again and curls up with him. 

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Lev plays with her hair and looks soft and happy and relaxed.

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Good. 

Sasha plays with Lev's hair and relaxes. 

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"If the reason you haven't transitioned is that you can't afford it," he says quietly, "I can cover it. If you want to. As a gift."

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Um. 

Um!!!!!!!!!! 

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"--I mean it, it's a gift," he says, misinterpreting the source of her reaction. "I mean, obviously I'd like it if you'd had breasts and soft skin, I'm straight, but-- it would make me really happy to let you be comfortable in your body."

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Christ damn fucking shit. 

"I." Um! 

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"If you have to miss work for surgery recovery-- or if you want a vagina and you'd have to build up new clients-- I can cover the cost of your missed work too? I-- I don't know what the problem is but I can fix it probably, I have. Kind of a lot of resources. To throw at things." 

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"— The problem is that I'm cis." 

 

FUCK.  

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He looks confused for a moment--

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And then says "it's okay, I love you."

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And then says, "Fuck."

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How about he just ignores that whole sequence of events. "So like. Thank you for offering it was very sweet and I'm sure if I were actually a trans girl I would at least consider taking you up on it but." 

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"Sorry. Sorry. I'm so. I'm sorry."

Wow, he looks profoundly miserable. 

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.....Sasha hugs him. 

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"I'm really really really sorry. I. You can go if you want to. That would. Be a totally reasonable thing to do. Sorry."

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Figuring out what it is he wants to do sounds difficult and continuing to hug Lev is a good default action. "I've got you," he says, because that is the kind of thing that one says when hugging someone who is miserable. 

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He is not going to cry. He is not going to cry because he told Luna he loved her-- him-- and it is a horrible violation of her boundaries and their professional relationship and the last thing he wants to do is make the situation all about himself by crying. 

It's pretty close but he manages.

He tries to memorize what her-- his-- skin feels like. 

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He. He should text Asher and ask what to do — should call Marlo, should — 

There are too many things happening and it's —

He's going to keep holding Lev, rubbing Lev's back. 

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"Please let me give you-- enough. That you'll be comfortable. Because I love you and you don't love me and I want to make you happy and I don't have anything of value to give you other than money and I just want to know that you'll be taken care of and then it'll be. Okay. Please let me."

He's sniffling a little bit. Fuck.

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What does he do with that — 

 

"......I've got you. It's — I'm not gonna end this over that. You're okay." 

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His face is full of gratitude and hope.

"Thank you."

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Squeeze.

"I should talk to my boyfriend and also Asher before I make big decisions. But I'm not gonna end this over that." 

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"You should do that." He hesitates, looks like he's about to say something, and then says, "I'm glad you have a boyfriend."

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It occurs to him that he can probably just ask. 

....he isn't going to ask, though. He nods and buries his head in Lev's shoulder. 

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"Go talk to them. I'll still be here when you get back."

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Asher is more able to help with the concrete problem in front of him, so he texts Asher first. 

hey 

I fucked up 

not in a way that puts me in danger but 

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what do you need

what happened

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He offered to pay for my transition 

I went "uh" 

He kept offering, said it didn't matter what the problem was, he had resources, he could pay for lost work or whatever 

I panicked and said I was a cis guy, he said "it's fine I love you anyway" and then immediately also panicked about that, we hugged it out, he's fine and I'm fine but the curtain is 

more drawn back than i usually keep it 

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so you're going to be on a plane back soon?

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that's what I'm texting you about obv but my plan is no 

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trust me the money is not worth it

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that's..... fair 

I suspect there are feelings involved but I have no idea which feelings 

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like............ you like him

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look I'm not thrilled about it either 

but he's cute and enthusiastic and I don't know what I'm doing 

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I guess he hasn't stalked you yet...?

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if he had I would not be conflicted, I have any judgement at all 

but he hasn't and I am and aaahh 

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I mean, would you date him if you'd met him on a dating site

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yes

if I'd talked to him about math via a dating site instead of a private show it wouldn't be a question 

except insofar as Marlo exists and might have opinions about that 

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I'm maybe a hopeless romantic

but I think you should talk to marlo

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okay. thank you 

I love you 

💙 

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love you

good luck

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He calls Marlo. 

 

"Hey." 

There's a sound of rustling papers, and then, "Hey. You doing okay?" 

"Yeah. I'm fine. — he knows you exist and he knows I'm a guy and I have. A lot of feelings." 

"— sweetheart," and Sasha can hear how much Marlo wants to be hugging him. 

He swallows. "I know. I miss you too. — I think maybe I like him back, is the problem." 

There's a pause. Sasha keeps his breathing even and crosses and uncrosses his fingers. 

"....I love you," Marlo finally says. "And if it's what you want then go ahead. Just —" 

"— I'm coming home exactly when we planned I would," Sasha tells him. "And I'm coming home to you. I love you." 

And he can't see the way Marlo is smiling but he knows. He's seen it often enough. "I love you." 

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He smiles at-- not Luna-- when she-- he-- gets back. 

 

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"Hey." He flops on Lev's bed. 

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"Hey. How'd it go?"

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"Went well. I'm staying the rest of the two weeks." Maybe he should be cuddling Lev. 

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"Thank you."

He looks heartbreakingly grateful for being touched, and for the time.

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He doesn't miss that. "And then I'm going to talk to Marlo in person and hug him lots, and figure out whether it makes sense to do something like this again." 

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"Okay. That makes sense."

He very cautiously touches Not Luna's hair.

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He makes a quiet pleased noise and snuggles up to him. "You're so good." 

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!!!!!!!

"Thank you."

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"Thank you. — you were really good about the gender kink thing, I want you to know that I thought that was sweet regardless of the thing." 

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"I am... confused about what else I would do."

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"You've seen how most of my clients are! Someone with a kink for misgendering is usually not sweet about it!" He nuzzles Lev and then kisses his cheek. 

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"I get off on hurting people emotionally but that doesn't mean I want to... actually... hurt them..."

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"And I appreciate this about you." 

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Lev is concerned about Not Luna's clients and he wants to hug her him. 

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Fortunately for them both they are already hugging but they can totally hug more. "So I have no idea which things I should tell you, do you have, like, questions?"

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"Uh. I mean. Obviously I want to know everything about you but."

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"You're cute. 

Everything is a little hard to answer but I guess we can always begin at the beginning. — Hi, I'm Sasha." 

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It's the grateful to be allowed to know things face again!

"Hi, Sasha! --If I know your legal name I can get you to sign an NDA and then I can talk to you about work but I understand if that's a boring topic or you aren't comfortable with me knowing it."

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"It does not even a little sound boring but I think I'll give it a day." 

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"Okay." Lev kisses Sasha's cheek. "I like your name."

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He kisses Lev's mouth. "So do I! There are lots of ways to shorten Alexander, my parents went with Alex but Sasha is and was just obviously prettier." 

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"You should have a pretty name! Because you're pretty!"

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"And you say you aren't cute!" 

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"I'm not, but I'm glad you seem to disagree!"

Does Sasha seem like he objects to Lev's presumption about this.

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He does not even a little. "Yes you are. You make the cutest faces and the cutest sounds and you're so enthusiastic and you bounce." 

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He has started bouncing!

"I love you."

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"See? Cute." 

He kisses Lev on the nose and then kisses him again on the mouth. 

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This is amazing and Lev is the happiest person who has ever existed he is pretty sure.

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Lev is very very cute and Sasha likes kissing him quite a bit and isn't planning on stopping. 

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He can kiss Sasha and pull his hair at the same time!

It is an important scientific discovery.

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Sasha sighs and melts into him. For science, of course. 

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Sasha was probably not faking his responses before.

This is a very hot discovery.

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Sasha was not faking his responses even a little bit, before. 

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Lev had good intentions of talking to Sasha but now he is a moaning whimpering pile of mush.

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That's okay, Sasha is a very cuddly pile of mush.

He doesn't want to stop cuddling Lev long enough to suck him off but hands exist.

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Hands do exist!

Lev's grasp of the English language is not very high at the moment but he expresses how much of a fan he is of hands.

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They're a very nice feature to have. 

Sasha kisses Lev when he starts to get close. 

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Which definitely prompts him finishing all over Sasha's hands.

"Love you."

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"That's cute," he says, and kisses him again, "you're cute." 

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"Love you love you love you love you-- is that saying it too much, sorry."

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"That's saying it an adorable amount. I like you lots." 

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"I like you lots too!"

He is going to wrap his feet around Sasha's feet.

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So!! Cute!!!! 

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"We were talking," he says, "before I got distracted."

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"Yes. We were. You were going to ask me questions, because 'everything' is a lot of things." 

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"I don't-- want to ask you questions about things you might not want to share with me."

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"....you could ask me questions and if I don't want to share something I'll tell you so?" 

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"Okay," he says quietly. "What's Marlo like?"

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"He's incredible." Sasha's voice is very soft. "He's — kind of shy, and he's not always great at words or people but he cares really deeply, and he's so, so sweet, he gives great hugs and I love listening to him talk about his day and — wow, I have such a type —" 

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"He sounds great. I'd. Like to meet him if he was okay with that and you were okay with that."

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"I'm okay with that, I'd have to ask him. I bet he'd like you." 

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Bounce bounce bounce bounce.

"Who is Asher?"

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"Asher is my best friend, who I am sort of quasi dating even though he's straight, it's complicated. He's also great — we're kinda coworkers, he helped me into this job, he does findomming and people send him exponentially more weird race stuff than they send me — I'm not sure if the two of you would like each other, you have a bunch of interests in common but he's a little much sometimes." 

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"He's dating you even though he's straight? --I guess I'm also straight. Maybe your type is straight guys."

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"The way he phrases it is that he is not actually sexually attracted to me but he loves me and it's like giving your friend a massage when they've had a rough day except also there are orgasms, and I haven't poked this too hard because he is in general ridiculous and it's the kind of thing he'd do. And Marlo's gay, my type is apparently 'enthusiastic nerdy people who are very cute and not great with people.'" 

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"I love you!!!"

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"I like you lots." 

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"I think mine is more like-- I wouldn't have been attracted to you if I just saw a picture of you and someone told me you were a guy, but I like trans girls, and I like you, and-- I want to have sex with you whatever your gender identity is. Because you're great."

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"I know I keep saying you're cute but I can't think of any other way to react to things like that." 

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"You can keep calling me cute as much as you want! --What was the thing you were sad about earlier?"

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"I have a tragic backstory involving an abusive relationship I got into in college, and the thing with the charity got me thinking about people claiming to act for ideological reasons but actually all their gifts have strings you can't see attached, and, well." 

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Lev hugs him very very tightly. 

"I wouldn't."

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"If I thought you would we'd be having a very different conversation. It just — reminded me." 

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"Is that why you're camming?"

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He makes a noncommittal sound. "It's why I'm camming as opposed to having a college degree, it's not why I'm camming as opposed to being a bartender or barista or something." 

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"What would you do if you-- had a choice?"

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"If money didn't factor into it at all I'd just draw. If I could train in any field and be assured of getting a job there, architecture maybe? If I could go back to college for free but nothing else, no idea." 

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"I want to let you just draw."

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"....I have no plans to quit my day job but that's very sweet of you." 

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"Okay." Lev kisses his forehead. 

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He leans into the touch and — kisses Lev, very gentle. 

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He kisses back, still gentle.

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Good. 

Is Lev smiling? Lev should be smiling.

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He is.

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Good. 

He should stay that way. 

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"What do you want to do while you're here?"