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lest (s)he thereby become one
Sadde is the Champion of Ingnam
Permalink Mark Unread

Champion schmampion.

She should've known. Of course Arlen is not good enough at, at this whole not getting caught business, the reason he got given up to the priesthood in the first place was being caught too many times. Fucking Arlen.

And is he the one being sent to whoever the fuck knows where through that gods be thrice damned portal? Nope. No, she's the one doing it. All he has to do is pay penance. Sure, he's gonna be flogged a li'l bit, and gonna have to spend a whole lot of time in some boring empty room meditating his sins away. But he's still going to be alive.

Fucking Arlen.

And now she's trapped in a gracious guest of the temple, strongly discouraged to leave, and of course that's the stupidest thing she's ever heard but she's trying to figure out a way to get out anyway.

(Not that she's not curious what's actually on the other side of the portal, mind you. But, uh, one does not need the ability to even put two and two together to notice that all the so-called "Champions of Ingnam" never come back. She's not betting on the other side being so fucking good no one ever decides to come back. They probably got eaten by something.)

She doesn't want to die. She really, really doesn't. She just wants to run away. Never see this stupid fucking village again, never see Arlen and that thrice-gods-damned priest again—she's begged and asked to be given exile instead—at least she'd still be alive

This is the stupidest way to die. Stupidest, stupidest way to die. She's not dying this way. She's not. She's not she's not she's not.

She'll figure something out. She always does.

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She doesn’t.

She’s given a set of comfortable clothes, a bedroll, and some trail rations, at least. They’re being decent about pretending she’s going to survive. She’s not given a sword; they somewhat reasonably stopped giving the champions swords after the first three didn’t come back with them. Swords don’t grow on trees.

She’s also not given a quarterstaff, or a large stick, which is somewhat less reasonable because those kind of do grow on trees.

She’s escorted to the portal. The guards are quiet on the way up.

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Come on, there has to be a way for her to leave—could she slip past the guards, she's looking innocent and subdued but she can look around in slight sadness—no fuck that she's actually horrified, she doesn't want to die

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The guards, having little else to do, are keeping a close eye on her. 

It’s not actually that far to the cave with the portal in it. The cave is strangely warm and wet, despite the chilly weather outside.

In spite of her fear, Sadde may soon find her thighs in a similar condition.

(It's not just her. The guards look uncomfortable, and their trousers are noticeably tented.)

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...uh, what.

"Uh, what?"

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"It's- an effect of the portal," the guard on her left says, his face somewhat red. "It has. Effects."

Now that he mentions it, looking at the swirling patch of pink and purple light on the cave wall does seem to have a slightly more concentrated version of the effect. 

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"—why."

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"What, I should know?" the guard says helplessly.

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"I'm about to be sent to my death for having perfectly consensual sex with a coerced priest, the last thing I want to be right now is wet!"

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"We don't technically know you're going to die," the first guard says.

The second guard appears to have grown tired of conversation, or possibly of being in this cave. He shoves her through the portal.

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Well.

Fuck.

This is the worst, stupidest, most inane way to die, and why is she so turned on she hates everything.

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On the other side of the portal, things are different.

The earth and sky are two different shades of red, with black clouds scudding across the sky. There’s a river nearby that seems conventionally transparent but flows over bloodred silt, and a forest of unfamiliar but plausible-looking trees. 

There’s also a monster sitting on his haunches in front of her. 

He - it’s definitely a he - is about three and a half feet tall, red-skinned, with a pair of leathery wings sprouting from his back and a tufted tail continuing the line of his spine. His proudly erect cock has to be a third of his height, jutting out obscenely from his hairless crotch.

He grins nastily. “Hello, Champion.”

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Her eyes go straight to the cock. "—was that you? That did the magic that's making me all horny." She also looks over her shoulder—is there a portal there or was it one-way?

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He shakes his head. "That's just Mareth. The land is corrupted, and it has certain effects on its inhabitants."

The portal's still there, but it's faded and translucent - she knows, somehow, that she's not getting back through.

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She looks at the little monster again and takes more than his enormous dick in this time. "Corrupted? By what? And does this mean people here are always horny? What about human men, don't they get refractory periods?"

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He raises an eyebrow. "Corrupted by demons, what else? There is a refractory period, as you put it, for the less persistent races, but it's slight at best. Frankly I'm surprised you're not already gagging for my cock by now. The last Champion certainly was."

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Sadde raises an eyebrow. "I'm familiar enough with feeling horny out of my mind to be able to control myself, thanks very much." She eyes his cock speculatively nonetheless. "Is this common, then? Ingnam sends a, ah, 'Champion' through and you greet them with your frankly unrealistically proportioned member?"

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He laughs out loud at that. “Yes, it’s something of a routine by now. The Champion comes through, I or one of my brothers fucks them insensate, and we bring them back to our Infernal Mistress to become a corrupted sex slave for the rest of their lives. Speaking of which...”

He makes a sharp gesture, and it feels like all the ambient lust focuses itself into an agonizing point on her clit. “Submit.”

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She cuts a lustful whimper in half and bites down on her lip, clenching her hands (and other things) and staring at him defiantly. "No," she snarls. "You submit."

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He stares at her, looking rather surprised his trick didn’t work. Then he shrugs and flies towards her, claws outstretched. They look viciously sharp.

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Well she's not just gonna stand there waiting for it, is she? She tries to dodge as best she can and—well, find a place to run away towards.

"If you had just asked nicely!"

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His claw catches her ration-pouch, tearing it open and causing the contents to spill onto the ground. He doesn’t respond to her, instead choosing to chase after her for another flyby attack. 

There’s the faint impression of a voice, distant and gentle, saying Fight, Champion. Do not allow your story to end this way. 

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Oh great more magic bullshit. Well what if instead of dodging this time she ducks and tries for a punch aimed at—you know exactly where.

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Her fist catches him right in his swollen red balls. He screeches in pain and veers upwards, flying out of reach. He shakes his fist at her menacingly. “You haven’t heard the last of Zetaz, Champion!”

Then he flies away. 

What a wimp. 

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Seriously. That was the thing that wanted to rape her?

.......he could have asked. Now she's super horny and doesn't have that enormous dick inside her—

No. Focus. Her rations, how recoverable are they?

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Not particularly. The ground is coated in leaf litter and dust, and the rations were mostly oats, which have mixed in with the detritus pretty thoroughly.  

While she’s checking, though, she finds a bottle that Zetaz appears to have left behind. It’s a fancy bottle, blown glass with a glass stopper, containing a thick, pearlescent liquid. Maybe it’s some kind of potion?

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Well. Does it smell... uhh... edible?

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It smells delicious. 

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...hmm. Well, she'll save it for later, then. She's not hungry or anything right now.

Okay. Where is there to—

..................this is uncomfortably distracting. That imp thing was naked, right? So she can get one orgasm or two out of the way before moving on. She tries to find a place to sit and reaches inside her breeches...

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Nothing interrupts her during this process. It's probably not as satisfying as that enormous cock would have been, but it's fine.

As Zetaz mentioned, after she comes her head is a bit clearer.

She could go exploring, if she wants.

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She wants to test that portal first.

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No matter what she tries, it seems to be totally inert, at least for her purposes.

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Mrr. Annoying.

She guesses she'll figure out some place to go. Do any places look more likely?

...also: "Hey, mysterious voice, do you respond or do you just ominously say things in moments of peril?"

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Mysterious voice doesn't respond.

The forest opens to the south. There's some mountains farther off in the north. The east is blocked by the river (shallow enough to bathe in at the banks, but deep enough to be intimidating in the middle). To the west, there's a whole lot of nothing.

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Figures. It's probably the ominous thing, then.

South she goes!

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The forest is rather lovely. The trees filter the light, leaving the ground dappled with shade, but the occasional groves are filled with sunlight.

One such grove is filled instead with corrupted plant life. Flowers sprout from the ground which look like brightly colored vaginas, vines dangle from the treetops with shockingly phallic fruit, and the trees themselves appear to have grown succulent green breasts.

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...she hadn't ever given much thought to the question of what sort of sexual characteristics demons might have but she would have guessed "something other than literally the same thing as humans".

On the other hand: how, uh, clean are those phallic fruits? Asking for a friend.

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They're perfectly clean! The vines undulate gently in the sunlight.

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Okay.

Okay. She did just. She means, look, if she's gonna be horny for the rest of her life she might as well figure out some tools to help, right? And no one's here to judge her for it anyway.

Right.

She'll see just how good the phallic fruit is at... its job.

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It's extremely good at its job.

(She feels... a little bit strange. Nothing she can put her finger on. Maybe it's just that she fucked a plant, and now she's feeling unusually perverse.)

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...uh, no? No.

Note to self: do not fuck plants.

Onwards.

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Onwards!

The forest continues to be a forest, though with no birdsong or animal noises. It's eerily quiet. She doesn't come across any more dickfruit.

...was that a sound?

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Oh hey another person probably. She wonders if they'll want to have sex with her, too.

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The next clearing she enters contains a short, slender man - around four and a half feet tall - with the ears, fur, and tail of a white mouse. He wears a simple robe, dyed robin's-egg blue; it hangs off his shoulders, as if he lost weight since it was sewn. He doesn't look like he had much to lose. There's also a string of intricately carved prayer beads around his neck.

He turns around as she enters the clearing, and jumps back into a fighting stance when he sees Sadde. After a moment's examination, he straightens back up and bows. "I'm sorry," he says in a quiet, surprisingly deep voice. "You startled me. I've never seen a human-morph before; I thought you might be a demon."

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"'Morph'?"

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He looks puzzled. "You haven't- I suppose you wouldn't. I'm a mouse-morph, as you can see. Practically everyone in Mareth is a morph of one kind or another. That or a demon."

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"So, like, shapeshifting?"

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He shakes his head. "At some time in the past, perhaps, but many of us have never even tasted an alchemical reagent. The changes breed true, you see - I was born as you see me now. If somewhat smaller. My distant ancestors were human, and I could probably reproduce with one if I so desired, but I am no longer human myself; I am simply a mouse-morph."

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"Oh. Huh. Well I just arrived because my stupid village has absurd rules and this one imp thing wanted to have sex with me and instead of asking nicely he decided to use magic on me and then attack me. So I'm kinda new and lost." And horny, her brain informs her helpfully.

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"Imps," he says with some distaste. "If you're waiting for one to ask nicely, you'll be disappointed. Demonic culture - and goblin culture, and minotaur culture, and actually a majority of the non-morph cultures of Mareth - treat sex as something that must be taken from another. Anyway, you needn't be too disappointed. Unprotected sex with demons leads to corruption. You were exiled?"

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"I was. 'Corruption'?"

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He doesn’t pry further. “Corruption is an effect that demons have on the world around them. Its victims become perverse, lose their empathy, and if they become corrupt enough, they may eventually become demons themselves. It can be fought through meditation, the destruction of corrupted things, or certain rare alchemical elixirs.”

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"'Perverse'? Like, evil?"

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He shakes his head. “Sexually perverse. Less interested in consent, more prone to... I don’t mean to pass a value judgment on this part, outré sexual behaviors, more sexual in general. I’m not saying the lewdness is evil in and of itself, I’m not that kind of monk, but it’s correlated with the loss of empathy and that’s problematic.”

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"...okay. And, how do you recognise morph species from others?"

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He winces. “Less likely to attempt to rape you? Though not guaranteed, we’re still subject to corruption. Um. I can give you a list of non-morph species that look like they might be morphs and will definitely attempt to rape you, if you’d like?”

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"That sounds useful, thank you."

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He goes through a list. Naga: Snake women, surprisingly humanoid, surprisingly violent! Sand traps: Insectile hermaphrodites who lure adventurers into their pit of quicksand and force them to bear their eggs! Minotaurs: Massive bull-men with addictive semen! Phouka: Shapeshifting faeries, fond of turning into various animals and then raping unsuspecting travelers! Goblins: Probably not a problem for her because they only rape men.

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"Is the 'men' part of that sentence physical characteristics or presentation or personal identification or...?"

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"Not sure," he admits. "Most likely presentation, but if a man without a penis mentioned that fact to them they'd probably lose interest. They're rather obsessed with procreation."

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"Hmm. I suppose I don't have one even when I'm a boy."

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He frowns. "There are ways to fix that, you know. If you're interested in, er, becoming a more attractive target to goblins."

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"—temporary ways? Becoming permanently a boy wouldn't change much, but—and I suppose there are other things who don't want to rape men either?"

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"It's easily reversible, certainly. Or at least it can be reversed as easily as it can be done. And there... actually aren't. While a heterosexual female typically needs something to, ah, insert, males tend to find one orifice as good as another. I suppose there are some aggressively heterosexual phouka."

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"Well. I suppose that makes as much sense as anything else in this mess." She rubs her thighs together a bit and frowns. "Is everyone here just—used to being horny all the time?"

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He nods. "People handle it in different ways. I, for one, meditate, which has the added benefit of keeping me pure from corruption. Would you care to join me?"

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"—uh, sure. What's involved in it?"

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The mouse's nose twitches happily, and he looks like he's on the verge of bouncing. "It's been some time since I had someone to teach - my sect favored a moving meditation, focusing on flexibility and core strength. I can guide you through the poses to assume, then we will simply lie on the ground - or your bedroll, in your case - and allow our minds to wander for a time."

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"...moving? Huh. Okay, that sounds better than the alternative.—is it safe for me to, uh, stash my belongings somewhere? Will someone try to rape my rucksack?"

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"It would be wisest to keep them in the glade with us. Don't worry, I remain very alert even during the final resting pose."

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"Okay." She gets rid of everything except for her Comfortable Clothes and faces him. "Ready."

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He guides her through a gentle yet challenging series of stretches.

In the middle of something he calls Harpy Pose, a tiny green woman enters the glade, notices the mouse, and launches herself at him.

He straightens himself out, grabs the goblin by the arm, and slams her into a tree. "Excuse me for a moment," he says politely as the goblin staggers back to her feet.

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Sadde pauses what she's doing and blinks at the... whole thing that's happening there, what the heck.

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The mouse beats seven kinds of hell out of the goblin within the next thirty seconds, then heaves her bodily out of the glade.

He resumes Harpy Pose. "Sorry. That happens sometimes."

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...okay. She'll, uh. Try to get back to Harpy pose. "Do you just—have to be insanely good at self defence here and beat everyone who tries to rape you, which happens multiple times a day on a slow Tuesday?"

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He winces slightly. "Somewhat. There are cities, which are safer, but in cities you have to... make yourself useful, in whatever way, and I would rather deal with goblins and imps than society."

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"What's wrong with society?"

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He sighs. "I... society is fraught with temptation, and too many evils that cannot be fought with a fist. And... when my monastery and my home village were destroyed... I did not wish to make a new life for myself in a new place, force myself to find new names and faces to fill the hole in my heart. I buried the dead and went off to simply exist, in isolation and contemplation."

He shifts his leg into a new position. "This position will help strengthen your thighs."

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New position. Ow.

"Well... even with the rapist goblins, I'm actually really glad I'm not dead. I thought I was going to. Die, that is."

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He nods. "Where there is life, there is hope."

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"Amen.

 

 

 

"This moving mediation thing is harder than I thought."

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He shows her how to modify the pose if she's feeling any pain. 

It's not much longer until the final resting pose. As promised, her mind feels clearer than it has since she entered this realm. That odd feeling from the plant, which by this point may have faded into the background noise, is gone as well.

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And she rests and thinks. "I'm Sadde, by the way."

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"I am Jojo." He bows his head, though it looks odd since he's lying down.

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"It's funny, in a horrifyingly ironic way, that the crime that got me sent to this rape world was having consensual sex with a priest who was coerced into his vows of chastity."

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He flinches. "Well. That's... desperately unpleasant. I'm very sorry. I hope our world is better to you than it seems."

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"Maybe the punchline is less dark than it looks," she agrees, smiling slightly. "—oh, I should ask, since you're friendly and haven't gotten entirely sick of me yet—I found this bottle—" She sits up and rummages through her things to show it to him. "Is it actually food or...?"

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He looks it over. "Incubus draught," he diagnoses. "That's what I was talking about when I told you turning male was relatively easy - that's what it does. Separately, it is also nutritious. However, drinking it will cause some small amount of corruption unless you have it purified by an alchemist."

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"—oh. I see. But I can meditate the corruption away? And where would I find an alchemist?"

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"You can," he sighs. "I favor a zero-tolerance approach, but I have vows to consider. Alchemists... I believe I saw one the other day, wandering around near the Green Lake with a lab-cart. I'm sure he'd help you for a price."

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"Is the price sex."

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"-no!" He laughs in shock. "No, not everyone is- no. I meant a price in gems. It's Mareth's system of currency." He holds up a crystal the size of Sadde's thumbnail.

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...okay, yeah, it's funny. She giggles and shrugs at him. "Look, I've faced more rape threats in the last couple of hours than I had in my whole life, you can't judge me for assuming."

She examines the crystal, anyway.

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It’s a slightly elongated hexagon, geometrically perfect and deep red in color. It’s quite beautiful, actually. 

“Gems are the same size and shape, but different colors,” Jojo explains. “You can usually find some on the person of demons and monsters you defeat; even if they don’t care about the currency, they’re drawn to the shiny rocks.”

He pulls a small pouch out of a pocket in his robe and offers it to her. “Here. As a ‘welcome to Mareth’ present.”

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Sadde blinks at the offer. "That's—that's too kind, but I couldn't possibly impose that much—"

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"As I mentioned, I don't interact with society much. I only have these because I take them from the imps I defeat. I'll probably never use them. And you seem to have had a very unpleasant day."

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"I—" She blinks again at the offer, then nods and accepts. "Thank you."

She's not tearing up, she's just got something in both eyes.

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Jojo considers her seriously. "Would you like a hug?"

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"Yes."

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Jojo hugs her. He's out of practice and he doesn't quite know what to do with his tail, but it's nice.

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That's alright she kinda really really needs this hug.

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He lets go eventually. "I should be going. Best of luck on your journeys, Sadde."

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"Yours as well, Jojo. Thanks for the hope."

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He picks up his quarterstaff and heads onwards through the forest.

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And she picks up her stuff and... tries to look for Somewhere to go. Maybe a city.

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Further on in the direction she's going, the trees eventually thin out and she comes to the edge of a lake.

There's an abandoned cabin here. Also, the sun is setting.

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How narratively convenient! She can spend the night there.

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The cabin is surprisingly spacious. It contains several beds, a fireplace, and a small bookshelf.

The next day, in the morning light, she can see that the bookshelf contains one book with a white cover, and another with a black cover.

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Huh. Okay. She picks one of them at random.

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The black book describes the basics of dark magic.

If you are gripped by strong enough emotions - the example the book uses is lust, for some reason - you can channel those emotions into powerful magical effects. The book describes one such effect: the Arouse spell, which causes an enemy to be debilitated by sexual desire. Supposedly, a skilled mage can reduce a target to masturbating without heed for the world around them within seconds.

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...sounds hot.

Any non-sex examples?

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Examples are given of other spells, such as Blackflame and Might. There's also a mention of magical shapeshifting.

However, as soon as she reads the instructions on how to cast Arouse, the book crumbles to dust.

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...hey! She was reading that!

She'll... read the other book and if it has magic too she won't read any instructions.

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The white book describes the basics of light magic.

If you are not distracted by strong emotions, you can channel your raw willpower into powerful magical effects. This book describes effects such as Charge Weapon, Blind, and Whiteflame. There is a brief mention of magical healing.

It's a slim volume; there's not much else to read except the instructions for how to cast Blind.

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...okay she'll read those.

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They're fairly simple, but it makes sense that they'd be hard to focus on when desperately aroused. 

The book crumbles to dust when she's done.

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Figures.

Anything else of value here?

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Not really. The place was pretty thoroughly ransacked; it's not clear why the books were even still there.

(She's getting pretty hungry.)

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...well, if she drinks from that bottle...

......fine. Not like she's unfamiliar with feeling like her body does not fit her.

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The incubus draught tastes even better than it smelled. It's amazing.

As she drinks it, she can feel it spreading through her body and changing her. Her breasts shrink into her chest; her clit stretches and fills out until it hangs from her pelvis as a soft, uncut cock; her uterus folds in on itself and turns into a pair of balls, which externalize themselves in a sac formed from the material of her labia. It’s not painful; indeed, it carries with it a feeling of pleasure so intense it’s almost overwhelming.

There’s a cracked mirror in the cabin, if she’d like to take a look. 

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She would, she would like to take a look.

She looks.

She tilts her head. This... this is fine actually. Huh. She doesn't feel dysphoric at all. At... all, really.

Actually.

She feels pretty great.

...he feels pretty great. Sure maybe she—he—is not a boy today but apparently not a girl either? Yeah. And he's... really hot actually. Like, really, really hot.

And having a dick is weird, it feels like it's moving in his underwear—wait it actually is in fact moving, it's—growing—he pulls it out—oh wow that's what a boner feels like, it's weird, a lot less wet—oh wow okay that's sensitive, he can touch it and his boner is super hard, he cups his balls with his left hand and slowly strokes himself, lightly caressing his length and rubbing his thumb along his tip, around the head, spreading drops of precum around it—

Sadde raises his right hand up to eye level and then puts his thumb and forefinger into his mouth, sucking on them and tasting his own precum—gods above he wishes he could suck himself, but he can't so he resumes masturbating. He grips himself harder, both hands around his shaft at the same time as he pumps himself and lets soft moans escape his lips. He starts moving his hips towards and away from his now-slick hands, the motion causing his trousers to fall all the way down to his ankles, and he shuts his eyes as a particularly loud groan rocks his body and flees his chest. Then he remembers the cracked mirror and starts watching himself—oh, okay, he can actually take his shirt off and then continue, watching himself, left hand feeling himself up, his abs and up to his nipple and he's close, he's so close, he's not even paying attention to the moans anymore, he just needs to come, needs to find that release, feel it as if it was the first time—

He comes, loudly and messily, shooting load after load in an arc up and towards the wall, dripping down to the floor and sticking to his cock and fingers.

Holy fuck.

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He feels a little like he did after the incident with the plant. Not good, not bad, just - different. Like he's proud of something, maybe. He has a lot to be proud of, doesn't he?

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Maybe. But Sadde's mostly spent right this second and, and that felt really different actually, less intense in a way but more concentrated in another? And he's still horny enough to lick his hands clean, grinning devilishly at himself in the mirror.

...but he should probably do the meditation thing. Yeah. Ugh, so much effort, though.

........he could do it naked. That'd be hot. And motivating enough. Yes, he'll do that.

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Meditation makes it fade a little. Soon that sourceless pride is faint enough that he can barely feel it.

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Okay. He's good. Kinda horny again, his boner is back up, but he thinks he wants to leave it up. He puts his clothes back on, adjusts his erection to the left side and makes sure it's noticeable, then it's time to go.

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As soon as he exits the cabin, he feels like there's a right direction to be going in and a wrong direction to be going in, which is any direction other than the right direction.

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...okay. This is poking at the contrarian in him but on the other hand not following the advice of the mysterious feeling is the kind of thing he'd yell at a character in a story about, so he's gonna follow the feeling.

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He walks along the lakeshore for some time, encountering nothing much, then comes to a gnarled old tree. In the center of the trunk is the bronze hilt of a sword, set with gems and inlaid with gold. No sap has oozed out around the blade; the tree grew naturally around it. The gold inlay on the guard forms a tiny inscription showing a stylized figure battling a host of demons. The handle is wrapped with red leather that shines glossy and new in spite of the many years it must have taken for the tree to grow so thoroughly around the blade.

He could try to pull it free.

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Whoever's looking out for him (?) obviously wants him to do that, and being armed is definitely better than not, so, yep, sure, he'll try it.

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As he pulls the sword from the tree, wood fills in after it. Once the sword has been removed, the trunk is left whole and unmarred.

The blade is three and a half feet of silvery watered steel, shining bright in the sun. As Sadde beholds it, the voice from yesterday returns, no longer distant and ethereal but sharp and somewhat nasal. "Hello, Champion."

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He yelps and jumps back, letting the sword fall onto the ground.

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"Ow," the voice says in a deadpan.

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"You nearly gave me a heart attack!" he complains, approaching the sword gingerly and picking it back up. "But hi, mysterious voice."

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"I apologize. I am the spirit of this blade... well, the spirit attached to this blade... I'm a spirit and there's a blade involved. My name in life was Enserric. Perhaps you have heard of me?"

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"—yeah. The first Champion. You're—in pretty good shape, honestly, that first imp I met said these Champions usually become mindless sex slaves or whatever."

He should really not be thinking about putting a sword in his butt but here we are.

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"He wasn't wrong," Enserric sighs. "I've seen nineteen previous Champions come and go. You're in the top five just for resisting the imp Lethice sent to intercept you. Although she seems to have lowered her hiring standards since my day. I have high hopes for you, regardless."

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You really shouldn't, he wants to put you in his butt, this isn't very confidence-inspiring.

"Why? And how'd you even know about me?"

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"I didn't say high expectations," Enserric drawls. "However, I'm hoping you're the one who finally kills that bitch Lethice and frees the world from this corruption once and for all. And for a spirit, especially one who used to be a wizard, it's not hard at all to keep an eye on that portal once a year. I saw your little slapfight with Zetaz, and your... whatever that was... with the mouse, and your inadvertent study of magic. I can help you out with that last, by the way."

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"And just to be clear, you're not going to turn to dust the moment you teach me a spell."

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The sword snorts, an odd behavior for something without a nose. "I have no intentions of doing so. The copy protections on those old library tomes always irritated me as well."

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"Is it harder to circumvent than my just personally deciding to write down the instructions again in a new book?"

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"No, no, it's only the tomes themselves that are protected, so if you have a burning desire to see information made free, go ahead. -and the tomes aren't turning to dust, per se, they're simply returning to the Great Library in the desert. Unfortunately, the Sand Witches took control of the Library before I got here, so we have no access to the really good stuff. Alas."

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"Right. Okay. So now are you going to be my mentor and guide me as I overthrow the evil demoness and save the realm, because I've read this book and I'm not impressed with it."

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If the sword had eyebrows, he'd be raising them. "I do apologize for the cliché. Do you have an alternative to propose?"

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"I figure out a way to get real rich and fund a revolution?" he suggests.

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"A revolution. My. With what will you arm your footsoldiers?"

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"...the money? Presumably I can pay for magic and weapons and maybe potions—you all have words that imply things in fiction but back where I'm from I don't know what things can be gotten or not."

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"Yes, we have all of those things. Very well, then where will you get the money?"

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"Don't know. This—I'm sorry, I don't want to come off as knowing how to solve all of this realm's problems with one fell swoop. It's just, I don't think 'fight demons until I get to their boss and then kill her' is what I'd be good at? I didn't resist that little imp by being good at stabbing things, I did it by being good enough at being me and by not being rendered useless when I'm horny out of my mind..."

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Enserric sighs. "Did I say stabbing things? I did not. I said that I would train you in magic. Not at all coincidentally, the two traits you have just mentioned are the defining requirements of light and dark magic respectively. I can make you the greatest archmage this world has seen since, well, me. And then we will make you better, because my power was not enough. And it must be you, because humans have a greater capacity for magic than any morph; and it must be now, because Lethice's power will only continue to grow. I apologize if this is not the trajectory you had intended for your life. If it's any consolation, I'm offering to make you the greatest archmage in history."

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"—I mean, I'm not opposed, it's just that until you said what you, uh, just said, I did not know the two traits I had just mentioned are the defining requirements of light and dark magic respectively." He blinks a few times. "Huh. Okay. I suppose that would work." Pause. "But I'd still feel much more comfortable about this if there were a bunch of other people also involved in the project, it sounds really unwise for me to try to singlehandedly—or, well, singleswordedly overthrow the political ruler of the realm with just magic."

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"I also didn't say you had to go it alone. That mouse-morph seemed competent, feel free to involve him. I'm sure you'll encounter others. What you can't do is walk away and fight the good fight from the safety of middle-management."

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"Well if I were going to finance a revolution I absolutely would also fight if that turned out to be a good use of my time—anyway, that's moot, if what you say is right I might be somehow uniquely suited to this job. Sorry for the pointless arguing, I kinda do that."

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"I can see we'll get along famously," the sword drawls. "Would you care to practice some magic?"

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"Uh, sure, but maybe I should figure out food and possibly shelter first? I suppose I could always get back to the cabin if we're gonna stay in this forest a while, but I no longer have, what was it, incubus draught and also I might not be as receptive to it tomorrow."

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"Ah," the sword says. "I ask because there's a goblin sneaking through the bushes about to attempt to rape you."

The relevant goblin's head pops up out of the bushes. "Motherfucker!"

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He whirls around and tilts his head. "You know, if you ask me for sex, I might actually say yes."

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"Really?" The goblin looks fascinated. "Alright then, fill me with babies!"

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"—wait, are humans and goblins even cross-fertile?"

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"Yeah!" the goblin grins.

"Extremely so," the sword says with some distaste.

 

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"Huh. That's pretty interesting. Anyway, is there a way for me to have sex with—" Sadde examines the goblin. "—her without the corruption thing?" he asks the sword. "Because like, I really like my empathy even if I'm okay with getting more, ah, let's go with 'perverted'."

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"Goblins don't spread corruption," Enserric says. "They do, however, seek out and rape their fathers when they come of age after two weeks. If you would rather not sleep with or vanquish your daughters, I advise against allowing goblins access to your seed."

The goblin gives Sadde an impressive pair of big sad puppydog eyes.

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"Wait, why do they do that? Isn't that—bad for possible offspring, or something, I'm not sure how it works with goblins I guess but if a human daughter had a kid with her father that's high chances of the kid coming out wrong."

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"Of course it is," the sword sighs. "They don't care."

"It's traditional," the goblin objects.

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"Look, far be it from me to, ah, criticise your culture, but the whole rape thing is kind of terrible? Like, trust me, sex where both people are actively enjoying it and trying to get each other off and stuff actually just feels better."

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“I’m booooored,” the goblin moans. “Are we gonna fuck, or am I gonna have to beat you up until you stop talking first?”

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"I think I'll have to respectfully decline your offer. I'd wish you good luck on your endeavours but I really don't think I want you to rape more people so I won't actually."

And this entire conversation was quite enough to kill his boner, thank you very much, so he'll mentally prepare to do the thing where he does magic.

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The goblin unsheathes a long knife from her belt. “I’ll get my babies one way or another!”

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Okay so he can try to cast that spell, can't he? Blind, or whatever.

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There’s a bright flash of light in front of the goblin’s face. She screeches and waves her knife wildly in his direction while rubbing furiously at her eyes with her free hand. 

“Excellent,” the sword says. “Now we stab.”

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"—hey, I kinda don't wanna just kill people randomly?"

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“You are a terrible listener. I did not say to kill her, I said to stab her. Those are entirely different things. -in Mareth specifically, I mean. You can’t kill someone without meaning to. Sorry, I kind of forgot what the human world was like.”

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"...okay, fine, I don't want to maim people like that either!"

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The sword groans. “Fiiiiine. This is going to make it very difficult to accumulate capital, though.”

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"I'm sure prostitution's a thing and if that's the only way I get some semblance to consensual sex here it seems like as good a way as any of getting money!"

He's gonna go away from the goblin, though, because yikes.

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Once they’re far enough away from the goblin, Enserric says “Before, you mentioned that you had to ‘figure out shelter’ - you don’t. Distance and direction in Mareth are mutable; if you set out intending to reach your cabin, you’ll get there.”

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"Oh. That's convenient. Any other intention-based things around?"

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“No, not really. Magic’s all about intentions, but that’s folded into the whole package of casting.”

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Sadde nods. "Fair enough. Food, though, it sounds like a good idea to find some."

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“Rather. Hmm... There’s a farm over on the eastern shore of the lake. Perhaps you could volunteer to help with their work in exchange for crops?”

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"Sounds good to me. I just have to... intend to get there, then?"

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“No, no, intent only works if you’ve been there before. We’re getting there by standard human geography.”

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"Ah. Alright, tell me where to go.—also do you happen to have a scabbard?"

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“Directions: Follow the lakeshore until you find a farm. And I do have a scabbard, and it is lovely.” The air shimmers, and the blade is sheathed in a beautiful leather scabbard decorated with golden sunbursts. It has an adjustable belt.

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Oh good. He can carry the sword much more easily that way.

Onwards! "So how come you became a sword?"

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"I was ambushed by Lethice's minions while I slept and dragged off to her fortress, where I was fed a series of potions until I was a mindless slave to corruption and lust. I was kept there as a toy for her demons for some years, until one day my mind returned to me for one agonizing moment. I used that moment to cast a spell that leveled the fortress around me, destroyed my body, and freed my spirit to become a ghost. I then wandered the world, slowly losing my tether to reality, until I came across this sword, which was enchanted as a receptacle for magical energies. Desperate to continue existing at least until Lethice could be destroyed, I poured myself into the blade, and there I waited until you came along."

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"That sounds pretty terrible. I'm sorry."

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"Don't feel sorry for me," Enserric says bitterly. "Feel angry for me. Kill the Demon Queen for me. For everyone she's done it to, because I wasn't the first and I certainly wasn't the last."

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That startles a laugh out of Sadde. "Sorry, it's just—that's a very healthy and admirable attitude. Yes, I'll do my best."

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"Good."

It's not too far to the farm. When he gets there, there's a blonde dog-morph woman waiting at the gate holding a large crossbow. She relaxes as Sadde draws closer, and hoists the crossbow over her shoulder. "Hey there, fella! My name's Whitney, and I'm glad I don't have to pitchfork you like I do most of my 'guests'. What brings you to my farm?"

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"Hi! I'm Sadde, I'm new around these parts. I've mostly been exploring and someone told me about this farm so I figured, hey, a place that has food and that probably would be happy to trade some of that for help with work."

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"Well aren't you the sweetest thing," Whitney says happily. "You know what, I'll give you an advance if you wanna help harvest some of the fields. No sense workin' on an empty stomach! Now, what'd be good for you..." She taps her foot thoughtfully. "Don't have anythin' specifically for human morphs, y'all bein' so rare and all, but I can't imagine you're gonna be too picky, are ya? Just take a look around and grab somethin' off a plant or outta the ground."

There's a wide variety of vegetables and fruits available. This area's primarily occupied by bushes of bright red peppers, long and pointed with a bulb at the base. Some of them have a bigger bulb, and one specimen appears to have grown from two peppers fused at the base. There's trees heavy with what look like peaches, but with long "whiskers" on the sides. There's what looks like carrot tops poking out of the furrows, but with a fluffy cotton-puff in place of leaves. There's a few scattered bushes with clusters of large orange berries.

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Ooh. ...hm. "I'm unfamiliar with these. You're sure they're all edible by human morphs?" he asks.

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"Safe as houses," the farmer confirms. "Shouldn't eat just one kind for weeks, or anythin', but that's just common sense."

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"Indeed," he says cheerfully, and goes for something at random—he's not hungry right now but he could eat and why not—the carrots look interesting.

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Whitney pulls one and washes it off with the watering can. It tastes like a carrot!

Once he's eaten it, he feels faster, his legs stronger. He also feels hornier, and his balls swell a tiny bit. And, a few seconds later, something really weird-feeling happens just above his ass; if he turns to look, he'll see a small, fluffy bunny-tail emerging from between his trousers and shirt.

"Aw, cute," Whitney says.

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"—I was not expecting this! This is a little bit alarming!"

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"-I mean, they're bunnycarrots. That's what bunnycarrots do. Like I said, I don't have anythin' specially for humans or I'd've offered you some."

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"Yeah, don't worry about it, it's fine." He wiggles his tail. "This is actually pretty cute."

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"Ain't it just? Anyway, you can just help out with pickin' the peppers. It's harvest time, and there's always a big rush to get 'em all in."

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"Yes, ma'am! Do you have somewhere I can leave my stuff?" he asks, hiking a thumb to point at his backpack.

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"Yeah, sure- there's a buncha hooks for reins and stuff on the outside of the stables, go ahead and sling it on there."

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"Will do, thanks."

Sadde goes to do that and, when out of earshot, says, "So, what's up with the casual shapeshifting?"

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Enserric makes the vocal equivalent of a shrug. "Most if not all Marethian food will transform you in some way. It won't transform natural-born morphs unless it's alchemically concentrated or consumed in great quantities, but humans are something of a blank slate as far as alchemical transformations are concerned. You're lucky it started with your tail."

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"Wonderful. Any way to prevent it? Or undo it?"

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"Not really," the sword admits. "Eventually in your study of magic you'll learn to change your shape on your own, but that's less of a panacea than it sounds, because it's exhausting and you don't want to have to do it after every meal. There's a certain alchemical formula that can adjust you back to human; the recipe has been lost, but the potion itself is nonperishable and I occasionally found jars of it in various implausible locations, back when I was adventuring. I myself eventually just adjusted to a certain set of features and ate the right things to maintain them."

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"Hm. Not terribly bad, I can live with it, but why has no one rederived the formula?"

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"The crossover between people who know alchemy and people adventurous enough to find ancient potions in the wilderness despite the significant risk of rape and enslavement is not immense," Enserric says drily. "And, as mentioned, human morphs are rare."

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"Maybe I'll figure it out sometime."

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"In your copious free time, yes. I might advise you to delegate that particular task."

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He giggles and goes to work.

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The work isn't particularly grueling, as the peppers are ripe enough to come off the bush easily. Apparently the mutation that caused the double pepper he noticed earlier isn't unique; he's instructed to carry two baskets, one for "special" peppers like that one. Other examples include glossy black peppers, peppers with unusually thick bulbs, freakishly large peppers, and a variety with two round lobes hanging from the bulb. "Canine peppers are, how'd'you call it, kinda volatile," Whitney explains. "They mutate easily. But it's all gravy for me, people'll pay out the nose for the right cultivar."

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"Do the mutated ones do anything special or are they just kinda nifty to look at?"

...also okay he's starting to get uncomfortable about how horny he is again.

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Whitney grins. "Oh, yeah. The black ones are a little corrupt, but they'll give you black fur, and people like that. The big ones make you, uh, bigger where it counts. Lobed ones do that for your fruit rather than your veg. The knobby ones make your knot bigger. And the double peppers... ever heard the saying 'happy as a dog with two dicks?' That."

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"My fruit rather than my veg?" he says, archly. "Dog with two dicks?!"

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"Makes your balls bigger, how's that," she says tartly. "And yes. Do they not have that expression where you come from? Good on 'em, it's weird as all hell."

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"Yeah it's, it's new, I hadn't heard it before," he says, laughing.

...is she single? Or polyamorous?

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She doesn't seem to be wearing any rings, for what that's worth, which isn't much.

"Well, I've expanded your vocabulary, then. And your alchemical knowledge."

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"Only the theoretical side of it," he says casually, turning to pick some more fruit.

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Whitney laughs.

After about an hour, they're done with the canine peppers in that section of the farm. Whitney wipes some sweat from her brow. "Alright, you're good for the day, I think. Now, I can give you a basket of peppers, or if you don't want to go too far in one direction then I can give you sort of a sampler, which would you rather?"

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"Sampler, probably, I like the way I look for now."

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Whitney spends a little while picking various fruits and vegetables, rinsing them off then placing them in a charming wicker basket. There are still more peppers than anything else, but there's a bundle of bunnycarrots and a little pile of whiskerfruit and a cluster of foxberries too.

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"Thank you very much, you are much too kind."

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“Well shucks,” Whitney says agreeably. “You go on, now, before you make me blush."

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He bows politely then off he goes.

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"Well, I would call that a resounding success," Enserric says cheerfully once they're far enough away from the farm. "You even got a basket out of it!"

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"Still not keen on the involuntary shapeshifting but not dying of starvation is probably a superior alternative to doing it."

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"Rather. You can focus on certain features - if you've always wanted, say, dog ears, you can think about them while eating a canine pepper and lo but they shall appear. In the same way, if you come to a set of features you particularly like, you can sort of - intend to keep them, and you will, as long as you eat a balanced diet of the appropriate items. I ended up with... bunny ears, a cat tail, bee wings, and a canine cock. And blonde hair, due to the intervention of a sand witch."

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"—oh, right, do all of these peppers make my cock look like a dog's? I just got it, didn't wanna lose it so soon."

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"The knot isn't so bad, but you can put it off if you intend for a different canine change. Extra nipples, say, or a different tail. But you can't just cycle between tails, like you're probably hoping; you'd end up overflowing unpredictably into other features. Four animal features is a safe minimum for a long-term Mareth diet, with not more than two from the same species."

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"Mostly I wanted to try having two regular human dicks."

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"Ah," Enserric says thoughtfully. "Hmm, how to accomplish that alchemically... you're right that you couldn't do it with a double pepper, it can't have the one effect without the other... Incubus draught will give you another but only after you go to truly absurd lengths, no pun intended... I know there's something that can do it simply, damn it all!"

He descends into muttering, then after a minute or so shouts "Eggs! You'd need an Oviposition Elixir and either access to Egglight Lake or willingness to lay several eggs until you get the one you want, but with a Neon Blue Egg you can grow supernumerary cocks. You'd also probably want a Pale Pink Egg in case you couldn't stand it later, of course; Succubus Draught would get rid of one the next time you changed, but only one."

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"...I don't think I want it enough to actually go on a quest for it," he says after a moment of stunned silence—although the pressure in his trousers wants him to reconsider. "I suppose I should figure out a specific set of traits to have, then, and experiment after."

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"Sounds like a plan. I'll help as much as you like with that, whether that means sharing my valuable expertise or shutting up while you think. That's a lie, I will never shut up, but I can mutter to myself instead of at you."

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"Well if you have something like a list of what animals and traits I can acquire—I don't suppose those lists would be so convenient as to be independent of each other?"

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"Certainly!"

Enserric goes into a very lengthy lecture on the various alchemical reagents that can be harvested from the land of Mareth. The long and short of it is that pretty much any reagent named after an animal can give its imbiber ears or a tail from the animal it comes from, or its fur or scales, but only a handful of them will change the imbiber's penis to an animal shape (canine peppers, whiskerfruit, and Equinuum, most notably). If the animal has horns, wings, fangs, or claws, the transformative can grant those as well.

"The fact of the matter is that there are a lot of animal transformatives, and that's not even getting into the more esoteric reagents, like dragonheart flowers or bimbo liqueur or the various demonic transformatives," Enserric concludes. "Perhaps it'd be best if you asked after specific animals whose features you'd find fetching."

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At some point he sat down to listen.

"Well, I didn't know if I'd have to limit myself to mammals or if I'd be able to get butterfly wings—are the wings functional, for that matter, I thought for stuff as big as humans they wouldn't be, and if I get a bird's wings do I lose my arms?"

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"You don't have to limit yourself to mammals - there are more mammalian transformatives, it's something of a bias that the mages of old seem to have had, but butterflowers do exist. You'd have to go pretty deep into the Deep Forest to find them, though, and I'm not sure you're ready for that yet. Insect wings don't work at humanoid scale, no, they're strictly decorative. You don't lose your arms for any type of wings unless you eat enough golden seeds to turn into a harpy, it's quite strange anatomically speaking but damnably convenient."

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"I do want wings, then. And I suppose a dog tail wouldn't go amiss, the bunny's cute but way less expressive."

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"If you just want bee wings for decoration you can get honey by chatting up bee handmaidens in the forest, they'll probably try to seduce you into bearing their eggs but if you refuse politely they'll usually give you some honey for being a good sport. If you want functional wings they'll probably have to wait until you have either a stockpile of incubus draught or enough combat experience to explore the mountains and get golden seeds."

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"I'm not in a hurry for any specific body modification." Pause. "Except maybe some way to get back to being a girl, a girl day is as likely as a boy day."

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"Ah, yes. A given imp or other demon is as likely to carry succubus draught as incubus draught, which has a similar effect in reverse; it's distilled from succubus milk, rather than incubus semen as with the incubus draught. We can simply hunt imps until you have a decent supply."

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"...hunt imps. Oh, wait, you mentioned early you can't kill people here unless you mean it?"

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"Yes, I did mention that. But you should kill demons. They are, to the last, devoted to rape and torment. Each demon made the conscious choice to give up its soul and dedicate its life to the demon queen."

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"...irreversibly?"

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Enserric would be grimacing if he had a mouth. "Not... strictly speaking. I believe that several years of research, and access to the Lethicite that is the byproduct of the demonic transformation, would allow a sufficiently clever mage to reverse the transformation of the demon from which that Lethicite came. Not that it would be likely to thank me, given that it made that choice in the first place."

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"They made that choice while the queen was around, lots of people make bad choices when they have lots of bad options."

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"...true," Enserric admits. "But the more pressing concern is that demons do not keep their lethicite. It is milled into fuel for the terrible machines that drive the demon empire."

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"...what is lethicite?"

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"It is what remains of someone's soul when they make the transformation into a demon. It contains all that demons do not have: the love and empathy that they gave up. It is also a source of tremendous magical power, moreso the more powerful the person was before their transformation. You can make quite a potent magical focus out of it, or any number of elixirs. The demonic empire runs on the stuff."

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"Oh. And then it's just... gone?"

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"Theoretically, if the empire was dismantled entirely, you could reclaim most of the Lethicite used in its foundation. The machines do not consume it, they merely use the energy it generates. But even if you slew Lethice and all of her servants fell to their knees swearing fealty to you - which, to be clear, would not happen - it would be next to impossible to match each individual piece of Lethicite to its owner without the service of an army of wizards. You wouldn't be able to use just any old piece to re-ensoul any old demon, it would have to be theirs, but to an untrained eye one chunk of glowing purple rock is much like another. It would be a completely insurmountable task."

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"So what you're saying is I should invest in a prison system pretty early?"

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"How in the blistering fuck do you intend to do that? You're not a government! You're a fledgling hedge-mage with a sword!"

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"You're so pessimistic."

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"It's been something of a survival strategy of mine," he mutters. "Anyway, if you want to take out imps non-lethally you can, you know Arouse and Blind, but I want it on the record that I disapprove."

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"I'm not sure I will, but I super disapprove of murder. Seems like a very permanent solution for problems that tend to be temporary and solvable."

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"That's usually a good policy," Enserric admits. "I fully approve of a nonlethal approach for goblins, or Sand Witches, or... maybe not minotaurs, minotaurs are another hard problem. But imps aren't actually solvable. They don’t have Lethicite; they’re born imps and they’ll die imps. I was talking about the more general class of demon before.”

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"Oh. What's up with imps, what do you mean born imps?"

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"Imps are the result of interbreeding between a demon and a member of some other species. They inherit almost all their characteristics from the demonic parent - the lack of any kind of empathy, the desire to corrupt and destroy whatever they can, and that manner of thing. Imps are also characterized by a near-total lack of impulse control and forward thinking."

Permalink Mark Unread

"...okay that does kinda seem harder to deal with."

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"Rather," Enserric says. "But, again, you are my wielder, and I will cooperate with whatever plan you come up with."

Permalink Mark Unread

"You seem to have taken quite well to being a sword."

Permalink Mark Unread

"It's comforting, in a way. I used to feel the weight of the world on my shoulders, but that's very neatly passed on to you, and I can be merely your faithful assistant."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Ha, I see how it is. Well, fortunately I don't mind the weight." He shrugs to demonstrate. "Still need to figure out what to do with imps but I guess killing them might be... the best option in the meantime. Until I figure out an imp prison. Somehow."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I really don't see the point of a hypothetical imp prison. I don't agree with the idea of imprisoning demons, but I see where you're coming from, I just think it's ludicrously impractical. But an imp prison would either be eternal solitary confinement or a horrific ecosystem of rape and torment of weaker imps by stronger imps, to no actual end."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Well it'd be a temporary solution until I found a more permanent one. I don't know what the permanent one would look like but it's definitely less final than the 'death' solution!"

Permalink Mark Unread

"I wish you the best of luck and recommend as an encore causing water to flow uphill."

Permalink Mark Unread

"You're saying there's no gravity-affecting spell anywhere here?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"...alright, that was a bad example. Causing water to flow uphill without magic. Magic has limits, and redeeming an imp would be as far beyond them as magic is beyond the laws of nature."

Permalink Mark Unread

"So maybe there's a super magic out there that can do it."

Permalink Mark Unread

Enserric sighs heavily. "If there is, then I'm sure you'll be the one to find it. Until then, shall we hunt some imps for succubus draught?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Until then, I'm not sure right now is the best time for that as opposed to retiring to sleep," he points out, gesturing at their resting place coming up ahead with a nod of his head. "Unless you know of a way to quickly and safely find imps and return here before dark."

Permalink Mark Unread

"If you want to sleep I certainly won't stop you. A well-rested Champion is a good thing. In the morning I can teach you a bit more magic, then a-hunting we will go."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Sounds reasonable. I should also figure out what to do with these peppers, and in particular what canine aspects I can get. I don't suppose I can try just for actual canines and delay any further alterations for future meals?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"You can get sharper teeth out of canine peppers, yes. I found them surprisingly inconvenient, though, and you wouldn't be able to get rid of them without a humanizing reagent, which is rare. Ears are easy and easily replaced, I'd recommend them."

Permalink Mark Unread

He grimaces, but nods. "Can I at least pick which race of dog I get ears from?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yes, it's friendly that way. I always liked Golden Retriever for my characteristics."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I'm going more for the opposite. Rather pointy than droopy."

Presently they arrive and Sadde can set the peppers down somewhere and stretch his arms.

Permalink Mark Unread

The basket and its contents (not all peppers!) look very fetching on the end table. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Time to examine the non-pepper contents, then. For the other body parts he's gonna be getting.

Permalink Mark Unread

There are in fact more peppers than anything else, but there's a bundle of bunnycarrots and a little pile of whiskerfruit and a cluster of foxberries too.

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"Can I combine stuff? Bunny whiskers plus whiskerfruit..."

Permalink Mark Unread

"It wouldn't be much of a change, but you'd wind up with cat whiskers instead of bunny whiskers. New reagents overwrite old ones."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I definitely prefer fox tails. Can the peppers be used to get fox ears, too? Foxes are canines..."

Permalink Mark Unread

"But they're not dogs. 'Canine peppers' is a slight misnomer, it doesn't cover all canids."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Shame. I'll go for eating, then jerking off, then meditating, then sleeping, as my night plan, because I'm hungry and way too horny this is distracting and then presumably I'll have any peace of mind if I do the other thing."

Permalink Mark Unread

"A sound plan," Enserric says. "Would you like me to distract myself during your, ah, personal time, or do you not mind if I vicariously indulge myself?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"...can you indulge yourself? You're a sword."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I did say vicariously. I miss my cock terribly, but watching someone else is still nice, even if it's just a tease."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Feel free. That... does actually sound pretty hot, to be honest." And now he's almost unconsciously rubbing his dick through his trousers. "Maybe I could make it a show."

Permalink Mark Unread

Enserric hums thoughtfully. "You know, I've got enough control over this vessel of mine that I could probably vibrate. If you wanted... help."

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Sadde's about to object that he's sharp when he realises Enserric probably meant the other end. "—I should eat first before I get too distracted."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Don't let me stop you."

Enserric's hilt shimmers a bit, and reshapes itself; suddenly he has the long two-hander hilt of a greatsword, and his pommel looks... very different.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Okay now you're doing it on purpose," he complains, reaching for some food and focusing on the general shape of things he wants. The ears in particular he'll be going for something like a terrier's or a pinscher's.

Permalink Mark Unread

The pepper is spicy, but not overwhelmingly so; the flavor has a strong body to it, and he feels much fuller than he reasonably should after eating a single vegetable. His ears shift on his head, and morph, and grow soft downy fuzz all over them, and soon enough he's got big pointy dog ears on top of his head. Also, his muscles feel a little stronger, a little tighter.

Meanwhile, Enserric is forming little bumps and ridges along his hilt.

Permalink Mark Unread

He'll eat various vegetables until he's feeling sufficiently full, which thankfully will probably be fewer than he'd been expecting, so he won't have to change too much.

Permalink Mark Unread

The next two peppers seem willing to accept that he's already transformed today, and after three peppers he feels entirely full. And stronger, and a little bit faster.

Permalink Mark Unread

Those are very strange things to feel but okay.

He had also not previously had the experience of a boner not diminishing in the slightest over time like this but apparently that's how it be, in this place. He eyes Enserric assessingly.

Permalink Mark Unread

Enserric's blade is the same as ever. His hilt, on the other hand, is now a thick eight-inch phallus, with a domed head and smooth, even ridges all along its metallic length. His crossguard serves to prevent the whole ensemble from slipping in fully.

"If you want it smaller I can adjust," the sword says. "And you needn't worry that you'll slip and cut your hand; this blade is enchanted not to harm its wielder."

Permalink Mark Unread

...well shit. "I don't suppose you're any kind of self-lubricating or anything," he says a bit weakly, reaching again for his cock but this time into his trousers.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Ah, yes, I can teach you a simple black magic spell for lubrication."

It is, as advertised, very simple. Black magic often is. Soon, the sword's hilt is coated with a thick scentless oil.

Permalink Mark Unread

Okay? Okay. When he said earlier he was so horny he was considering putting a sword up his arse he did not realise he'd be taken so literally, and he's not sure whether this is Mareth or newly discovered kinks of his but he doesn't care. He grans Enserric. "You sure?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"If I weren't entirely on board with this I wouldn't have turned my hilt into a dildo for you," Enserric points out. "-that's a yes."

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"Just checking," he says easily. There's still some trepidation but it's easily won over by the twitch of his cock in his hand, and then his pants are on the floor around his ankle and he's jerking himself off while leading dildo-sword to his back entrance.

But of course he still needs some prep, so at first he just starts lightly pushing Enserric in, "just the tip" as they say. He's sensitive enough that a moan escapes his lips at the touch.

Permalink Mark Unread

The smooth metal slips into him easily, easier than flesh would. It's thick, and there's a stretch, a protest from his muscles, but the actual motion is easy.

"I think I could thrust into you under my own power," Enserric says thoughtfully. "It'd be an effort, but it'd let you focus on other things."

Permalink Mark Unread

Sadde's asshole clenches a bit at that. "I'll take you up on that once I'm a little bit, ah, looser," he says, massaging himself with Enserric to do just that.

Permalink Mark Unread

Enserric begins to vibrate gently, helping him along.

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—oh, okay, the vibration feels, er, nicer than he'd anticipated, gosh. He grips the blade a little bit more tightly, not altogether volitionally, and starts thrusting into himself slowly. It doesn't take that long, he's done anal not that long ago, but Enserric is somewhat larger than what he's usually found. "Oh, gods," he moans, and remembers he can also continue jerking off so he goes ahead and resumes that.

Permalink Mark Unread

The vibrations intensify, and Enserric starts thrusting into him.

"Do you mind if I try something?" he asks with the air of a scientist.

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"Oh fuck—yes, go ahead, shit, you're thick—" He lets go of Enserric and starts playing with his left nipple—oh, okay, this feels not quite the same as when he's got a girl body, but it's good, different good, okay—

Permalink Mark Unread

Enserric withdraws until only his pommel is inside Sadde, then thrusts in and swells, then draws back out, reducing a little bit, and thrusts back in and swells again.

Permalink Mark Unread

Sadde stumbles a little at that. "Goddess almighty," he curses, then finds a wall to lean against. "That hurt—do it again—"

Permalink Mark Unread

Enserric obliges. "I can do it a bit slower if it hurts?"

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"No it's great just keep going, fuck—"

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He keeps going. Soon enough he's hilting in Sadde with every thrust, and the rhythm of thrusting and growing and shrinking and withdrawing is mechanically precise.

Permalink Mark Unread

Okay he's not used to so many stimuli so he's gonna come all over the floor not too long after that with a loud groan.

Permalink Mark Unread

Enserric withdraws and clatters to the floor.

He's not panting, because he doesn't have lungs, but his voice is slightly shaky as he says "I would call that a successful experiment."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Y-yes," he says, and he is panting. "—I'm pretty sure that counts as sex." Pause. "Does that make things awkward, it never made things awkward for me but other people were very weird."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I'm a ghost living in a sword teaching you magic in a dimension full of rape demons and fruit that turns you into an anthropomorphic dog. This was never not weird. But no, to answer your question I'm fully capable of having casual sex and remaining friends with someone afterwards."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Okay cool." ....... "It is kind of weird that the best sex I've ever had was with a sword. No offence."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Well, I have the advantage of magic, and magic is a hell of an advantage. I had some techniques back when I was alive that really would have made your toes curl."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Sounds hot. ...but I should do the, er, meditation thing now." Even though the thought of other techniques is making his limp dick start to wake back up again.

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Enserric shimmers back into his base form. His hilt is now a single-hander again, his pommel no longer a cockhead.

"Would you put me back in my sheath first? -my proper sheath, I mean. Not the one between your legs."

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Sadde laughs. "I think it would be inconvenient to carry you all the time inside me. Even if the idea is also kinda hot." He grabs Enserric's sheath for him and places him back inside.

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Enserric hums contently. "-thank you, by the way. That was... very nice."

Permalink Mark Unread

"You're welcome, and thank you, too. For that and for everything else."

Permalink Mark Unread

"If I had a face I would blush. Go on and meditate, it's getting dark."

Permalink Mark Unread

He salutes then proceeds to pull his pants back up and do just that.

Permalink Mark Unread

The ambient lust, which was already pretty low since he just came all over the floor (is he going to clean that up at some point?) goes down even further as he meditates. Soon, if he closes his eyes he might as well be back in Ingnam, if it wasn't for the weight in his trousers and the perkiness of his ears.

Permalink Mark Unread

Also the bunny tail he got earlier, can't forget that. As for cleaning, only if he has a rag, otherwise, well, he's not planning on living in this abandoned place forever and who cares about cum stains here and there.

He does care about having some sort of bath or shower or even a river.

But for now he'll sleep, he guesses.

Permalink Mark Unread

Sleep comes easily, after the various forms of workout he got today.

The sun rises in the morning, as it does, and due to convenient window placement shines directly into his face from about 8am on.

Permalink Mark Unread

Coming from a preindustrial society, it's not like his sleep is by default misaligned with the sun. He opens his eyes and then shields them from the light, then yawns and calls, "Good morning.—do you sleep?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"No, I left that behind with my mortal form. Did you sleep well?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"I did. Should I try to prioritise finding you some form of entertainment for the very long stretches of time during which I am dead to the world?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Certainly don't prioritize it. I spent fifteen years in a tree trunk; eight hours is not a terrible burden. I spent this particular stretch contemplating what to do about various threats, given your... compunctions about killing."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Reach any conclusions?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"The Sand Witches should be easy enough to deal with: they can be reasoned with, at least if you've beaten a few into submission first. The bee-folk mostly keep to themselves, though it'd be useful to have an alliance with them, and they're best handled without any violence at all. I still can't see any good solution to the minotaur problem that doesn't involve a massacre, they're more hazard than their moral weight is worth."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Are they? Why so?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Minotaurs are rapists with addictive semen. The more they fuck you, the more you need to get fucked by them. I had a brush with minotaur addiction, and it was one of the more unpleasant experiences of my life, not least because the effect also makes its victims less intelligent."

Permalink Mark Unread

"How cultural versus innate is the rape?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Let me consult the Council of Expatriate Minotaurs, which exists and would definitely be willing to talk to me. -oh, dear, their receptionist tells me they're booked for the next week."

Permalink Mark Unread

"There are many ways you could've come across the information!"

Permalink Mark Unread

"And yet I did not. It's possible there are in fact expatriate minotaurs peacefully tending gardens or something and not raping anyone at all; I have never encountered any who may exist."

Permalink Mark Unread

"The thing where I can just will myself to go places doesn't extend to places I don't specifically know, right?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Correct. You need to have been there at least once, to establish a connection."

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"Alas." Sigh. "Well, where next?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"I believe that the beginning of this conversation was your desire to stockpile Succubus and Incubus Draughts, so that you would be prepared for another shift to your gender. And I suggested you hunt imps for them, and we engaged in a lengthy digression about whether that would be acceptable, and as near as I can tell, we arrived at a 'yes'."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yes, right, but I still need a direction to find them."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Ah. Imps can be found just about anywhere, but your likeliest hunting ground would probably be the forest - the other residents are usually one or the other of friendly, easily defeated, or easily avoided."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Then off we go."

Off he goes.

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After a few minutes' walk, he comes to the forest, which is still lush and green and dappled with shadows.

Oh hey, it's another grove of genital-fruit. Enserric sighs happily. "I remember these. Hours of ill-advised fun."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I was indeed advised against them. Hours, really?"

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"Cumulatively, but yes. I didn't care to involve myself with other sentient beings, and I thought I could avoid corruption if I didn't... ingest. I was wrong, but I caught myself before too much harm was done. Still, they're fond memories."

Permalink Mark Unread

"What's wrong with other sentient beings?"

Permalink Mark Unread

A verbal shrug. "My early adventures had convinced me that rape was this world's only idiom. I didn't much care to take or be taken, so instead I contented myself with solitary pursuits. I did eventually learn that even in this land, there are those who respect consent. I enjoyed their company a great deal, until my untimely demise."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Huh. Fair. Would be cool if there was a way to keep the plants without the corruption part."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yes, it would. It would be an interesting project for some mage, after the more important tasks are done with."

There's a faint buzzing sound approaching the glade. "Oh, good, a bee maiden. Have you encountered them before?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"I do not think so."

Permalink Mark Unread

"They're relatively friendly. They may try to influence you with their pheromones and get you to bear their eggs, but don't worry, I'll break you out of it if you seem to be acting out of character."

Permalink Mark Unread

"How... would I bear their eggs."

Permalink Mark Unread

"A bee maiden would implant them in your ass, and, once they had incubated, the eggs would loosen and release. It's quite pleasant overall, actually, but you have other concerns."

The buzzing grows nearer.

Permalink Mark Unread

"...how long does incubation take? Wouldn't I need to, ah, poop?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Have you needed to use the privy since coming to Mareth? That was a rhetorical question, and the answer is almost certainly 'no'. There are certain fringe benefits to being in a world so thoroughly permeated by intention-based magic."

A young woman flies into the clearing. She has antennae, bee wings and black-and-yellow fuzz all over her body. She looks confusedly at Sadde. "I thought I heard two voices..."

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"He talks," Sadde says, lifting Enserric up.

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"I do," Enserric agrees.

"Oh!" the bee maiden says. "Well, that makes sense. Um..." She inhales and puts on a bright smile. "Would you like to bear my eggs?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"...she's asking for consent! Enserric, you led me to believe this would be way rarer than it is." He turns to the bee maiden properly. "Could you explain the procedure in more detail?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Well, I'd fuck you with my ovipositor," she says, "and then implant my eggs, and in a few days when they were ready to hatch you'd lay them. And I'd give you some honey, for being a good sport."

Permalink Mark Unread

"What would it feel like to have them in me? Would they have any effect other than just existing? What is honey's effect?"

Permalink Mark Unread

She looks slightly embarrassed. "Well, I've, um, never had eggs inside me... and I'm very new to all this... so I don't really know what it would feel like. But I'm told it feels nice. They might, um, make you feel happy or sad sometimes? And the honey cures corruption, and we can purify it until that's the only thing it does if you'd rather not turn into a bee-person."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Enserric, any insight on what it feels like other than 'nice'? And what's the happy or sad sometimes thing about?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"It feels like there's a very gentle pressure on your prostate all the time," Enserric says. "It's a bit of a tease, really, but the birth is orgasmic. And I believe the emotions are just a hormonal effect of having living creatures incubating inside you. Your body has ingrained responses to that kind of thing."

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"...I would not have expected the living creatures that are inside eggs to have a, what was it, hormonal effect."

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"It's not exactly my area of expertise," Enserric drawls. "I'm no natural philosopher."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Fair." Back to the bee. "Do I have to... be somewhere to, ah, give birth? Like would I have to return here, or would we set up a meeting place or something?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"The babies will fly back to the hive," she reassures him. "They're smarter than human babies, and they know where the Queen is."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Oh huh. That's pretty handy actually. And the corruption-cleansing honey sounds like a good perk."

Permalink Mark Unread

She beams. "It is! A lot of people don't trust us, because, um, some of us are a little bit more... forceful... but really, it's a good deal, isn't it?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"'A bit more forceful' as in rape-y?" he asks, raising an eyebrow. "Also does your species have any males? Mostly scientific curiosity, I'm kinda sold I think."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Well, they use pheromones more... liberally. We have males, but they mostly just serve as drones, fucking the Queen all day and living on honey. Do you mean I can implant my eggs?" Her wings buzz with excitement.

Permalink Mark Unread

"I would like the non-transformative version of the honey, but unless there's some con I'm missing yeah I think so."

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She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a fluted glass bottle containing a thick, crystal-clear fluid. "Pure Honey," she says. "It's filling, and nutritious, and it'll cure a good amount of corruption. And it won't transform you into a bee-person, since you're so concerned about that." She sticks out her tongue teasingly; it's black, like her lips.

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He grins. "I might want to acquire any bee characteristics, I just want to make the decision a bit more consciously than that!"

Permalink Mark Unread

She hands over the honey and pushes her skirt down. Underneath is an appendage, all shiny black chitin, dripping something that looks like honey from its wide opening.

Permalink Mark Unread

...that's strange. He'll take a hot second to get used to that. But still, he can play along and lower his trousers.

And can't forget the self-lubricating spell.

Permalink Mark Unread

The bee maiden fingers him carefully, then lines herself up and slides into him.

The appendage is smooth, and firm, and large. It slips in easier than it really should, and as the honey slicks him further, he can feel it soaking into him, making his insides feel warm and tingly. The bee maiden, hugging him around the middle, makes a breathy little sound.

"Oh- I didn't know it'd feel so good," she giggles.

Permalink Mark Unread

Oh, oh, oh okay that's, that's different, the ridges with the sword were nice but this is much bigger, oh.

Permalink Mark Unread

She strokes one long, chitinous finger along his cock. "Would you like me to help you with that?" she asks politely.

Permalink Mark Unread

"I—f—yes!"

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She wraps her fingers around his cock gingerly, gives it a few gentle tugs to get her bearings, and starts stroking. She's either surprisingly good at it, or the honey's just making him sensitive enough that he could get off in a strong breeze. Possibly both.

Permalink Mark Unread

He does want to, you know, not cum immediately. He wants to ride this out, literally.

But oh fuck he is so not used to having a cock this feels so great

Permalink Mark Unread

She makes appreciative little noises for a while, and then gasps "They're - they're coming - the eggs-"

It takes a few seconds for him to feel it, but the base of her cock swells a bit, and then it slides up along her length, and when it gets to the tip, he can feel a soft sphere the size of a crabapple (accounting for how big it feels, which is very) pop out deep inside him. Then another, and then another, slowly filling him up inside.

She keeps stroking Sadde's cock, even though she's shuddering with pleasure.

Permalink Mark Unread

The eggs are quite enough to get him to cum, as well, they're—rather more than he's ever had before, he's far too overwhelmed for more than a long wordless moan of pleasure.

Permalink Mark Unread

She lies on top of him for a few moments as the last of the eggs filter in, then slowly withdraws. The eggs stay, and he feels full, pleasantly but not overwhelmingly so.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Oh wow okay. Oh wow."

 

 

 

"Oh wow."

Permalink Mark Unread

The bee maiden giggles. "I'm told you get used to it," she says. "And I know you'll make a wonderful host. Thanks again!"

Permalink Mark Unread

"No problem! I won't say 'anytime' because I might get caught up in stuff, I don't know, but uh, something in that spirit."

Permalink Mark Unread

She flies off into the trees, buzzing happily to herself.

Enserric hums thoughtfully. "Much more considerate than the bee-maidens of my time."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Lucky string of encounters, so far, I feel."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Indeed. Shall we carry on and hope for another?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Or stab whoever brings any unlucky ones. Presumably you don't mind being used for stabbing."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I have absolutely no objection to being used for stabbing," Enserric confirms.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Onwards, then."

Onwards.

Permalink Mark Unread

It's not very long before they encounter an imp. It looks similar to Zetaz, though its tail-tuft is redder and its horns curl differently.

It's stroking its oversized cock languidly with its back against a tree, until it notices Sadde, at which point it bares its fangs in a lascivious grin. "Yes! Finally, something to fuck!"

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"Are you perchance going to politely ask for consent?" he asks, a hand resting on the pommel of the sword.

Permalink Mark Unread

It blinks owlishly at him.

"No," it says, "I was thinking I'd beat the hell out of you and fuck you. Do you want to consent? Makes it easier, I guess..."

Permalink Mark Unread

"So before we inevitably get into a fight here to determine who gets to fuck or not fuck whom," he says, making a face when he uses the word 'fuck', "can you explain the mentality to me? It's, you know, kind of bewildering, the chance that you get beat up to hell and back by someone with a sharp magic sword versus the chance you get to fuck someone who might well have actually agreed to it if you'd been a bit more reasonable."

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"I'm not scared of your sword," the imp says. "And I don't feel like talking philosophy."

It launches itself at Sadde, claws extended, and leaves a deep gash down his arm.

(The wound barely has time to bleed before it closes over, but Sadde feels drained by it - like he's been running laps, or something.)

Permalink Mark Unread

He's never gonna get used to this, he's pretty sure.

Still, it should be scared of Sadde's sword. For one, it's magic. For two, he's some kind of chosen one. Anyway, he can stab, probably. Stab stab stab.