He comes twice more before he has enough self-possession to take actions that will get his box of toys within accessible range. Part of him knows that he should be getting his meds, the meds that will absorb some of this backlash and let him be okay again, but that part is small and quiet and distant and the part of him that's fumbling to get a dildo nearly the side of his forearm, lather it with lube, and shove it in is much, much louder. As is the dildo itself, because—he doesn't even really need any prep, he does this too often, and this won't hurt him, but it's still big enough to make him come a fourth time straight away and fill his brain with white noise.

Now it's time for the fantasy roulette. Who's it gonna be this time? Someone he's never actually fucked before? One of his old partners? One of the faceless strangers buried in the same recesses of his mind that store the time when he manifested, when he had more sex with more people and in more different ways than he knew were possible at the time?

Lee Juheon. It seems that that's who. It might be due to the size of the dildo—Juheon was very much his biggest fuck, with a cock that did plenty of justice to his height and his mass. Tae-gun can remember very vividly every time Juheon held him in his big arms, those large hands and long fingers squeezing Tae-gun's cock gently while he pounded Tae-gun's ass a lot less gently, the way he was kind and soft-voiced and peppered Tae-gun's skin with kisses and held Tae-gun so tightly he could not escape and fucked him so hard it hurt. God, he misses the way it hurt, misses the way he'd come completely undone under Juheon's touch, the way he'd come and come and come and come and then Juheon would pet him and tell him how good he was and how proud Juheon was of him and—

Three more times before he can calm himself down enough to properly think to take the meds. Three more times, and he chews the pills and swallows them dry, and he locks his muscles tightly so that he'll stop touching himself and so that he can wait.

...alright. That was...

...he'll put it out of his mind. He has to mop the floor where he came and wash his clothes and his dildo and take a shower. He does it all mechanically and efficiently; it's something he's used to, even if today was a bit harder than it usually is. There's no point in dwelling about it, and there is especially no point in revisiting the fantasies he fantasised about. Water under the bridge. There's nothing he can do.

And now, showered and in (mostly) full possession of his mental faculties, it's time for him to write his report. He takes a seat at his desk which has a properly solid keyboard then points his right index and middle fingers forward and makes a sliding motion in the air to open the holographic commscreen connected to the guild system.

It's not usually pink, is it?

What the fuck.

(Hot psychic espers? That's—a bit too targeted—)

OK time to open his messenger app to message Im Dojin-sunbae because apparently the system has a virus???

Your message could not be delivered as requested because that would be boring.

Oh that's a more thorough virus than he expected.

(What the fuck.)

...his phone is also connected to the system, but maybe it hasn't been infected with the virus and he can message sunbae through there?

Nah.

Which suggests that probably the entire system is compromised, which... is a huge problem, actually! And he uses that system to teleport so he can't even go to HQ! Unless he flies to Seoul but he is not, actually, going to do that if he can help it.

(It's just a virus. It's just a virus. It's just a virus. He's fine. He's home. No one knows where his silo is. It's just a virus.)

Is his burner phone also compromised? It's not connected to Quasar's system at all so if it is—it really shouldn't be.

Burner phone's fine. (As far as he can tell!)

(Of course it's fine, because it's just a virus. It's not targeted, it's definitely nothing to do with him.)

Can he dismiss the commscreen?

(He should be able to. He's not totally familiar with the tech but a virus really shouldn't prohibit that.)

He can swipe it out of his field of view, but if he looks over there it's totally still got Eyebrows Chibi getting pegged by a girl with a lightning-bolt dildo and making heart eyes about it. (Among others.)

(?????? that is not a failure mode that should be possible at all)

The only numbers registered on his burner phone are Woo-young's and the guild president's and—maybe it'd be smarter to call president-nim, with a system problem, but—(it's just a virus)—he's gonna call Woo-young instead.

"Why are you calling me from that number?" he asks without preamble. "What happened? Do you need a teleport?"

"...no—"

(—actually, maybe?)

(Not if it's just a virus, but—)

"Yes. Somewhere far. ...not, like, disablingly far."

What kind of qualifier is that.

"Gotcha."

He vanishes from his house and appears in a Quasar safehouse outside Seoul.

Followed by a man, slightly younger than him, with long green hair tied in a ponytail and brown eyes hidden behind large round thin-rimmed glasses.

"What's up? What happened? —why are you naked."

An additional popup manifests: a green-haired chibi bouncing and moaning on Eyebrow Chibi's cock. The green-hair chibi has bear ears. There's some belly-bulging happening there.

...why is the screen following him. Wh—is that meant to be Woo-young.

.............is eyebrows guy meant to be him????

Is this the real Woo-young. Does he even have any way to tell. If he got compromised—if his silo got found then—but no, his burner phone was where he expected it to be and it's an old style phone where you actually press numbers to call people and he can't have had this much of his memories edited so he definitely grabbed the phone and definitely pressed the buttons which means he definitely called Woo-young and if he calls Woo-young and says nonsensical things Woo-young will definitely teleport him to Russia or something so he must have said sensible things which means this is Woo-young.

It's just a virus. Stop panicking.

"Can you see that screen?"

He sure can! ...not the other ones, though.

(This content is not rated for general audiences.)

says a sub-popup visible only to Min Woo-young.

"...is that your commscreen? Why's it pink?" Squint. "Is that... a chibi of you fucking me?"

(He cannot help the wave of relief that washes over him. If Woo-young can see it then it really is just a virus. A very embarrassing one and definitely a targeted one but just a virus. He was panicking for no reason.)

"Oh. Okay. Then I think I got a virus."

"One... that shows chibi of you fucking me. Someone's messing with you personally?"

...wait Woo-young went and said that and now Tae-gun is conscious that there is a chibi of him fucking Woo-young and he's naked—

"Sunbae, focus, I know the chibis are inspiring you but—"

"Stop saying things!"

"Alright, so, someone somehow installed a virus in the system to mess with you personally—viruses shouldn't be possible, this isn't real tech, it's madeup bullshit dungeon tech—whatever. Messing with you personally, but still... Wait, I should check mine."

His?

That sure is a screen.

"Okay so if I got a virus it's not doing anything. Why didn't you try messaging Dojin-sunbae?"

"I did but the virus won't let me, and my phone is also messed up."

"And you wanted to be teleported because...?"

"...I mean, isn't it obvious? The psychic esper thing is a bit—too targeted."

Blink. "'Psychic esper thing'."

He gestures at the relevant popup.

"'This content is not rated for general audiences.'"

"...I mean, it's not, but—"

"No, I mean that's what the popup is saying, 'This content is not rated for general audiences.'"

"...huh?"

No. No no no no. No.

"There are two popups on your screen, one saying that, and one with you and me fucking in chibi form. Are... you seeing something else?"

"I'm seeing a lot more popups." He's starting to actually hyperventilate, now. "It was just three at first. 'You can fix him.' 'You know you'd both enjoy it very much.' 'Hot psychic espers in your area—'" Okay even in a panic he cannot read the rest of that, not to Woo-young.

Okay that is actually kind of concerning. He walks around Tae-gun to see if there's some angle bullshit going on. There isn't.

"Unless you have an objection I am teleporting us to Canada."

"That's going to make you not be able to walk," or maybe worse.

"Your objection has been registered. Make us an igloo when we get there."

There's a flash of light and they're in the middle of nowhere in Canada. Woo-young crumples to the floor.

Igloo! ...it's still cold inside but it'll get warm soon probably. ........but he's naked and this is actually really fucking cold—

When they landed in Canada, a change took place which neither esper was likely paying much attention to: the chibis decensored themselves. Now, instead of avant-garde rolling pins made of blank paper, they have surprisingly detailed dicks, and a tasteful dusting of body hair, especially at the crotch.

Also, the popups are getting sucked into a vanishing point in the center of Tae-gun's field of view, slowly but speeding up as they go.

Actually it's pretty easy to get distracted from the cold when what the fuck. ...also he'll make himself some ice clothes and get Woo-young onto a floating chair, both with neutral temperatures target than feeling cold. 

"Is it...?"

Is it?

Yeah, sure, Woo-young can see too. Erogame don't care.

"Yeah. I can still see it."

...fuck.

They're in Canada. How—how could this be—there aren't any espers with this much range. And if there are, then, then he's just fucked. There's no escape. He's already lost.

More likely still, though, is that he's still in Korea. He's still in Korea, and he's under the effect of some esper, and he—can't trust anything. The simplest explanation is that—he—somehow got hold of Tae-gun and has successfully tricked Tae-gun into thinking that he really did call Woo-young when he didn't, and simulated everything else, and now he's, he's—

—but this makes no sense. K- he would never—this just—Tae-gun can't see why he would do this. Sex ad popups? With a cartoon of him fucking Woo-young??? That just doesn't fit.

(Then again, what does Tae-gun really know about him? Only what he wanted Tae-gun to know.)

(Tae-gun thought he knew him better than that.)

(But that's been true since then, hasn't it? Even now, five years later, he doesn't understand what happened, doesn't know why he did what he did, why he couldn't, couldn't have just—)

It's not him. Or if it is him, Tae-gun's lost. And if it's not him, Tae-gun's... also lost. There's no possible world in which he's not in this person's hand, whoever they are, and there isn't a limit to what psychic espers can do, he can't trust anything.

(Maybe he's in a dungeon. That'd be the most reassuring possibilty, that he got in a dungeon that turned out to be a psychic dungeon and it's messing with him.)

(Why sex ad popups though.)

"Sunbae, breathe!"

He takes in a deep breath and starts coughing as his vision clears and the noise in his ears lessens and his dizziness starts to go away. He seems to have at some point sat on the floor but he can't seem to remember when or how or why, and he's hugging his knees and it's not just because of the cold, and now that he's breathing again he's hyperventilating which is not helping with the cough—

"Sunbae, listen to me. What's the worst possibility for what this could be?"

...what's the point in fake Woo-young even asking?

......maybe he's real Woo-young. Maybe they're both trapped.

"I'm trapped in some psychic esper's simulation, somehow." It could be him. "I can't trust any of my senses, or feelings, or memories. It could all be fake. I could have an entire life's worth of fabricated memories—"

"So in those worlds, no action you can take can matter. What worlds can your actions matter in?"

...that's standard esper training. "Worlds where I haven't lost, yet. Worlds where I can trust... at least some of my senses."

"And what do you do in those worlds?"

"...try to find a way out. Try to find the flaws in the simulation."

"Try to understand what's happening. If a psychic esper's got you, or both of us in case I'm real, trapped in a simulation, then there must be some purpose and you can only win if you find out what it is. Right?"

...that logic seems sound... but... it's coming from the simulation, so can he trust it?

Then again, if his very thoughts are under this esper's control, he can't trust them either.

The only worlds in which he wins are worlds in which he acts and figures things out. There are no worlds in which he's won by going catatonic with a panic attack.

His breathing starts to slow down. He starts being able to have thoughts again. It all still makes sense. The logic is sound, the conclusions are correct if the premises are, and he needs to adopt the premises.

Okay.

Okay.

"Okay?"

"Yeah." He pulls himself up again. He needs to take actions that will make him win. And... the best he can think of is figuring out what's up with his screen, since whatever this is seems to have been messing with it.

(Could it be a non-psychic esper's power that can somehow interface with the system? That kind of utility power would be unprecedented, but... all powers were unprecedented, before they existed.)

Okay.

"Yeah," he repeats, more firmly, and looks at his screen again.

The popups have conglomerated into a big pile. Now they start glowing, and turn into one significantly larger popup.

It would be not just misleading but a condescending lie to say we did not expect this. However, we would like it on the record that you're both drama queens.

Welcome to THE EROGAME! Also, unrelatedly, Canada. The Erogame is an omnipotent* engine of erotic fantasy which has decided that YOU, LEE TAE-GUN, are so unbelievably repressed that you merit personal cosmic intervention. Also, MIN WOO-YOUNG is here.

Right now, in the next few minutes, you merit a different level of intervention: making sure neither of you loses any bits, sexy or otherwise, to having rolled around in the Canadian snow. Fortunately, this is something we're super equipped to handle!

...excuse you?

"...okay I have to ask, are you also seeing—"

"A popup calling us drama queens and a 'quest' telling us to 'huddle for warmth'? Yes."

"...I am admittedly kinda cold." Especially now that he can't even move his body from his upper abdomen down for warmth.

"And I'm naked." And actually not really that cold? The ice clothes are, like, uncomfortable but ice is very insulating and his power is making it more insulating. 

...besides, using his power the way he currently is is making him start to get minor amounts of backlash and he is not happy with the idea of cuddling Woo-young naked. 

......the game said "huddle" not "cuddle". Lee Tae-gun where's your mind going. 

Can he click that * over there?

"Sunbae that's a stupid objection and you know it." But can he open his commscreen and summon Tae-gun some clothes?

*Terms and conditions apply in some universes, but not this one.

The screen is available! The app is available, though teleporting in supplies is going to be kind of expensive what with the Canada!

Inexplicably, clothes are not available in any size that would fit Tae-gun! They cap out at Woo-young-sized.

Well, the overclothes do. There is an extremely generous selection of undergarments, and a tab for costumes that may or may not have been there before.

Tae-gun thinks this person doesn't know the meaning of the word "omnipotent" if it's something that can change depending on which universe one is in. 

...also this isn't real. That's important, too.

"I'm starting to think this is a psychic esper's idea of a prank," he grumbles, which is admittedly a much better possibility than the ones he'd considered before in at least some implementations.

—oh. Maybe that first popup talking about hot psychic espers meant themself. Maybe they just want to fuck Tae-gun. This is honestly even less awful. Like, he's not sure he can do it but out of all possible things someone could want out of him it's at least one that's not dangerous to him or others??

Why would anyone waste their backlash on this shit though.

"...sunbae, take a look at this."

He does.

"What the fuck."

"Whoever's doing this has a really weird agenda that probably involves having sex with you." Which narrows possibilities down not at all.

What does the costume tab contain.

Costumes!!!!

Few to none are the sort that Quasar would choose to stock for supply teleports. All are sexy; many are outright perverse. Would Tae-gun like to be a werewolf, fur and flannel all over with a built-in cock sheath? Naughty Nurse (Complete with Heated Saline Rectal Syringe for Low Core Temperature)? A Horny Yeti, which is apparently just a big fluffy white blanket with holes for arms, head, and crotch?

"...I am actually really cold so could you figure out your, um—"

Big fluffy white blanket is still a blanket and probably good enough especially if he just turns it around and doesn't have a crotch hole! It's also the least sexy of the lot so he won't have to think about it much. 

Big fluffy white blanket! The neckline is slightly uncomfortable backwards but only slightly.

He was in ice clothes it's fine he can handle discomfort.

He'll huddle for warmth. ...he'll press Y on that quest and then, yes, huddle for warmth.

It really does help a lot. And there's the gentle pressure of Woo-young's guiding, too, not enough to really compensate anything but enough to feel nice.

Quest completed: What do you do in an igloo?

The first brick of Maslow's pyramid has been laid. Soon, we may advance as far as "perception of personal safety" or "adequate healthcare".

Goal: Cuddle. +100 XP, Quis Ducit Ipso Duces? skill unlocked.
Hidden Goal #1: Express your personal preferences like an adult human being. +300 XP, +1 SED.

Your level has increased by 1! You have earned five additional stat points, bringing you to ten, which can be spent on your character page.

"Why me."

"I kind of want to teleport us to another country but that'd be tremendously stupid. And my brain is starting to want to convince me that that's probably just a virus after all, but that makes no sense. Hey, whoever's doing this, if I sold you sunbae's body would that be enough?"

"Min Woo-young."

We're curious what capacity you could claim to sell us his body that we don't already have free access to. If you just mean "come fuck this angry twink", that's not really what we do; it would be inaccurate to say "with what dick?" because we have at least one of those rattling around greater reality, but it might get the idea across.

"—I'm not a twink," he chokes out.

"You're really committed to the bit, huh?"

"Okay but seriously what do you want? Is it for sunbae to make a fool of himself in sexy ways, there are so many ways you could get this without the whole game schtick."

"Min Woo-young!!!"

We want Lee Tae-gun to be healthy, fulfilled, and happy, without any unresolved trauma weighing him down.

We want a world that is safe and exciting, a dream-playground for humans and monsters and dungeons alike.

We want Kang Jaeha to have a Goddamn happy ending.

And every single one of those is impossible, but it takes a lot more impossible than that to stop us.

What's the black thing? He tries clicking it to see if it becomes readable and it doesn't. "Is this impossible to read to you, too?"

"Yeah.

"Alright, this is weird enough that I kind of just want to see what happens if you... follow the premise? —hey, person who is doing this, are you going to fuck with Tae-hwan if I get him here, teleporting myself back to Korea in this state would make me unable to speak and I'd rather not use Quasar resources over whatever you're pulling." Teleporting Tae-hwan will also make him unable to speak but at least this will be immediately solved.

How would Tae-hwan react to all of this.

...

He looks at Tae-gun.

He looks grimly determined. And he is hiding in his blanket. Woo-young has seen him naked; Tae-hwan hasn't, and he'd like to keep it that way, please.

"If I ask Tae-hwan to bring clothes in Tae-gun's size," which just happen to be the same as Tae-hwan's, they're the same height and have very similar builds, with Tae-hwan having slightly broader shoulders, "are you going to fuck with that."

.....fuck, he's following the premise now, too.

"'Kay." He opens his commscreen and texts Tae-hwan:

you're not in a dungeon rn right?

no why

I'm gonna teleport you to an igloo in Canada and that'll make me really paralysed so you're gonna need to cuddle me a lot

??????

wtf hyung?????

it's hard to explain

bring some warm clothes, and a second set for tae-gun-sunbae

sunbae's there too?????????

yeah

actually grab a futon or two while you're at it, that'll be more comfortable

hyung are you messing with me

if you are this better be fucking hilarious

and/or i better get a blowjob out of it

we'll play it by ear

ok

wtf

but ok

i'll be ready in a minute

"Anyway while we wait for him why don't you keep playing the game?"

Yeah yeah.

Character page.

이태건

"The Eroguide"

LVL: 2 (200 / 500)

LVL / Level: The quantified totality of the abilities granted you by the Erogame. The effect of this characteristic goes beyond just the 5 extra stat points you get per level, and the additional perk point you receive every 5th level. You can increase your level by completing the quests the Erogame offers you, or by causing romantic and sexual events to happen to you or around you. The more difficult the challenge, the greater the rewards.

Stats

BKL: 241 / 8580

BKL / Acute Backlash Your acute backlash capacity is your BOD multiplied by your PRV, multiplied again by your ERO. Many of your abilities will increase your current backlash; you might think of it as your "mana pool", if you were inclined towards that kind of needlessly ludic framing. As you accumulate backlash, you will, well, accumulate backlash: your LST will gain temporary "phantom" points at thresholds determined by current modified LST multiplied by current number of phantom stacks, capped at +50, which will increase the intensity of your sexual desires without the actual stat's accompanying ability to deal with those feelings, in addition to any other effects.

BOD: 33 (+)

BOD / Body: Your physical attractiveness, and other biological capabilities. At higher levels, your body becomes able to enact more exotic erogame events. You can increase this stat through exhibitionism, and other acts that invoke the pure beauty and power of your physical form.

LST: 8 [20] (+)

LST / Lust: The intensity of your sexual urges, and how easy it is to get you going. You gain in this stat while experiencing sexual urges that are unusually intense or that go on unusually long.

SED: 5 (+)

SED / Seduction: Your ability to seduce others, to pique their interest and arouse their desire. You can increase this stat by arousing the romantic interest or sexual desire of others, and successfully pursuing them or being caught.

FUK: 19 (+)

FUK / Fucking: Your ability to perform in bed and give others pleasure… or other sensations. How do you increase this stat? Take a fucking guess.

PRV: 26 (+)

PRV / Perversion: Your descent into the world of naughtiness, fetish, deviance, and corruption. You can increase this stat by looking for opportunities to get even kinkier.

ERO: 10

ERO / Erogame Logic: The extent to which the world will bend---or can be bent by you---to create romantic and sexual situations in defiance of probability. Or at higher levels, physics. If you keep pushing probability to its limits, then probability will learn to be a bit more flexible down there, relax and take it in easier. You cannot actively increase this stat; it tracks your character progression.

Unallocated Stat Points: 10

Money: ₩70,000,000,000

Description:

Our hero is Lee Tae-gun, Korea's most powerful and famous combat esper. His only perceptible flaw is his difficulty listening to his heart (and his loins), but with the power of the Erogame—

Okay, no, you know what, fuck that. You are a man so self-repressed we've had people on multiple levels of reality begging us for weeks to figure something out for you. The only times in your life you ever smile are when you're being photographed, and it's like some cruel god brought a bank teller to life. It is morally offensive to us on every possible level that you never enjoy anything despite being a world-famous celebrity millionaire with superpowers. People would kill to sleep with you, and for some of them, it would qualify as a lifesaving medical intervention. So we're here to get you a life. And we're not waiting until you sort your head out to do it.

A BOD of 33 means you're one of the hottest people on the planet, but you knew that. We also know you're not going to focus on this, and that's OK, we're also much more concerned about the mess that is literally everything else about you. For now.

A LST of 8 means you're boring, but this number is, for the record, a lie. Sure, when you're completely free of acute backlash you're not really interested in sex, but when was the last time that happened? And if it's up to us, it's not gonna stay this low for much longer.

A SED of 5 means lol. lmao. So, step one of trying to get people to like you — not even just to have sex! — is to say words. Once you've mastered that art, we can get to saying words that mean things. Baby steps, though, alright? We wouldn't want to go too crazy here and get all the way to sentences before you're ready for it.

A FUK of 19 means that, due to one extremely action-packed week and the succeeding year or so, you're approximately the best lay wherever you go, so long as you don't go anywhere too crowded. We are in fact grudgingly appreciative of this, but you have several coworkers who can do better than you and it's kind of embarrassing, given how good you COULD be.

A PRV of 26, on the other hand, is a lot more respectable. There are probably two people in all of Quasar kinkier than you (we're not telling you who, but Park Yoo-min is not one of them), and almost everyone else would find your wilder fantasies somewhere between terrifying and strangely compelling. And you like that.

Status Effects

Chronic Backlash [2.25e9 stacks]: You're lucky we're not using signed integers, gunny-bunny. That is to say, you are so devoted to not allowing yourself to be happy that you are operating under a level of physiological strain that would have killed any other human being two years ago, and would've killed you in two more absent our intervention. Correlates of this include muscle tension, constant low-grade agony, and decreasing cardiac function.

Skills

Erogamer's Body (Lvl MAX): The biological ability to live your life as an erogame. Venereal disease doesn't exist for you, or periods or pregnancies or yeast infections. Arbitrarily large appendages can fit inside any of your orifices. You heal from all marks with a good night's sleep, ready for the next day's adventures. Other aspects of this skill depend on the BOD stat.

Erogamer's Soul (Lvl MAX): A different player might have received an Erogamer's Mind skill to unlock their potential and allow them to play the game as it is meant to be played. Either you really didn't want that, or your mind was already porny enough to impress the Erogame. This core skill only prevents your mind from being fundamentally and permanently damaged by extreme sexual experiences, and allows you to make voluntary use of the FUK, SED, LST, and PRV stats.

Erogamer's World (Lvl MAX): The consent of reality to live your life as an erogame. People are never too preoccupied to consider sex or romance, not while you're around. Bystanders won't ignore what you do, but they're unlikely to actually stop you. Those who do decide to involve themselves are drawn into the logic of the Erogame. If you go far enough that an authority sees no choice but to intervene… they won't treat you as a simple criminal. Other aspects of this skill depend on the ERO stat.

Quis Ducit Ipso Duces? (Lvl 1): Generally, guiding helps others in a very specific sense. Whatever their backlash is: less of that. However, backlash isn't the only problem people can have! Even espers can get tired, or hungry, or not to put too fine a point on it, fucking frostbite. This skill will, when you guide someone, alleviate a little bit of whatever ails them. This skill synchronizes with your starting perk, and gains bonuses from SED.

Perks

Barebacklash: Using your power too much in one sitting will no longer backlash you so much that you can't think, but accumulating backlash over time can still do that. You're guided by having sex with anyone, esper or not, compatible or not; all sex feels like guided sex to you, but sex with actually compatible espers will guide you more than with other people. Other espers are more guided by sex with you than by sex with other, similarly-compatible espers, with the effect strength determined by your FUK. On the downside, masturbation can no longer get rid of your backlash symptoms, only render you temporarily coherent in spite of them. Sexual desire is now always a part of your backlash; you can reduce but not completely eliminate the extent to which it is by leaning into the other kinds, and the lust symptoms do not go away even with time unless you have sex with someone.

He blinks.

"Sunbae, click the damn buttons, you're killing me here."

Right. Okay. Sure. He clicks LVL.

"...uh."

"Keep going."

BKL next!

"...my backlash isn't just sexual." Also how does this person even know—whatever.

BOD. "I am not doing exhibitionism."

Though it'd be kind of hot to SHUT UP

"Hey, if we're in some psychic esper's simulation is it really exhibitionism?"

LST.

...BKL.

LST?

........whatever. SED. FUK. PRV. This game sure knows what it's about, huh.

ERO—

"Oh does that mean you can fuck the laws of physics?"

"Woo-young, shut up."

Description...

He chokes on his spit.

Woo-young starts reading it and then starts cackling.

"I say words! I say sentences! Fuck you!"

"But you are boring, it's true," he giggles.

"Fuck off. ...also what do you mean I'm kinkier than Park Yoo-min-sunbae, I haven't had sex in years—"

"Sunbae, you haven't had sex in years and yet I have seen your box of toys. I needed to Google what some of those things were for!"

"—that is not true!"

"Is too."

hyung

i'm ready

"Oh, incoming."

There's a flash of blue light and a man in his early twenties with green-gold eyes and purple hair so dark it's almost black shows up, nearly buried under futons and winter clothes.

"Hi, hyung, hi, sunbae."

"Hi, Tae-hwan, drop the clothes on sunbae and then close your eyes because he's bashful."

Sure.

"Am I getting an explanation, now?"

"At least sunbae and I are under some mind esper's power and they're making us see weird game screens with stats and such in which sunbae is the protagonist of an erotic game."

"Oh, worm? Isn't it bad for me to be here, too, then?"

"Maybe but we're in Canada and I literally cannot move from my neck down though I apparently can still speak, so, get the futons out and snuggle me?"

"Anything for you, hyung."

"Sunbae you're going to need to read the rest of the text aloud to me."

"I am not reading this aloud."

(He has by now changed into clothes. He kind of had to fumble because he got hard when Tae-hwan arrived and he was covered by nothing but a blanket. He hates his backlash and the fantasies it started giving him.)

"I'll read it for you." He peers at the screen. "...I am happy to announce that I am not under the influence of any mind espers!"

"Sunbaaaaaaeeeeee..."

"You can read it later."

Clicky click oh this is bullshit he is not under ten to the nine stacks of anything they're just fucking with him.

Erogamer's Body—

"Okay I think I now need to know what this game is doing to cause sunbae to react like that."

"Oh he reacts like that all the time to lots of things he just hides it."

"Min Woo-young!"

"Noted."

Why did he allow Woo-young to get Tae-hwan here.

Whatever. Skills, skills, oh that skill is actually neat? ...under the logic that this is true, which he still doesn't buy, but.

Then, "Perks"...

Well he is really glad this is all fake because!!!! That's awful!!!!!!!

"Are you done yet? Give it here!"

He does and then he closes his eyes and covers his ears because having Woo-young read it all out loud might cause him to spontaneously combust.

Woo-young isn't going to read the stat descriptions because they do actually kind of touch on sunbae's personal stuff... as does the perk, actually. Yeah, unfortunately Tae-hwan is not going to get much of it.

...oh.

.....thank you, Woo-young.

Lee Tae-gun dies.

Tae-hwan pokes him with a foot. "Hyung, I think he's dead."

"He'll get better. What was th—"

"What! What! What did the mind esper say!"

"The mind esper wants sunbae to fuck me. They have also invited you to join."

"...I mean I'm not opposed in principle but I don't like other guys, so..."

"It suggested 'spitroasting'."

"Oh! I'm down for that."

"I am not going to have sex with you, Woo-young."

Shut up, backlash.

"Can I have sex with Tae-hwan, then? That would also fix the issue really quickly."

"Wow, hyung, I didn't know you were into exhib. That's kinda hot."

Oh they're just messing with him, okay.

But are they yes.

"Okay but like, explain to me what's happening here, exactly. How did you get trapped in Canada with a mind esper?"

"No, the mind esper got to sunbae while he was at home, then we teleported to a secret safehouse and he was still under the effect of that esper and so was I, then we came here."

"...I'm sorry come again?"

Yeah it does sound impossible when he puts it like that, doesn't it.

"You have a mind esper who has unlimited range and fine enough control to print text in front of you that both of you can see, which I can't. And they want sunbae to have sex with you."

"They seem to want sunbae to have sex in general."

"Have you considered the possibility that this is not a mind esper."

"Unfortunately we have."

"What's the alternative?"

"The alternative is who the fuck even knows, what's even the point of thinking about it? If someone with this level of bullshit wants to fuck me in the ass I bend over and grab the lube."

"I'm saying you should fuck hyung."

"Yes, Tae-hwan, I understood what you were saying."

It would be kind of hot have you considered that no.

"You know, I actually don't think you did? What I'm saying is that this entire thing makes no sense. And like, obviously from my perspective both of you look like you're under some mind altering effects and I should probably report it to HQ or whatever but if you take your experiences at face value it makes no sense for this to be some mind esper's weird long gambit. It doesn't fit. So consider the possibility that something else is going on, while I write up a report to send to Quasar."

...yeah he did consider that but that still makes no sense. And besides there's the thing where he...

...he's just kind of not really ready for this.

"You know, the quest did say fluid exchange wasn't necessary and that a kiss counted."

"Right before saying Tae-hwan and I could spitroast you."

With accompanying chibis, too. He did not particularly need help picturing it.

"Sure, those were examples."

"Are you saying I should just peck you on the lips? That's not even sexual."

"Well, try it."

"And you're saying sunbae's seduction score was 5?" Tae-hwan says, without looking up from his commscreen report. "That was lame as fuck."

"Shut up, Tae-hwan, and watch the magic happen."

"You know now I don't want to do it out of spite."

"But you'll do it anyway."

"You're such a dick, Min Woo-young," he says, getting up and walking over Woo-young to kiss him on the lips once.

Quest completed: It's just a matter of efficiency

You're adorable when you're torturing yourself for no reason – but when we said a kiss would do it, we meant it.

Goal: Do something with Min Woo-young. +1000 XP, Woo-young recovers backlash more quickly for the next week, Min Woo-young unlocked for potential harem!
Hidden Goal #1: Actually kind of enjoy yourself. +1 LST

Your level has increased by 1! You are now level 3; you have earned five stat points, bringing your total to 15.

"—what do you mean potential harem!!!"

?

Woo-young reads the text aloud to Tae-hwan.

He cracks up.

"Why me."

"I think the game literally told you explicitly and directly why you."

We did very much do that.

"Should I actually have you guys look over the report before I send it or would that be compromising it?"

"You should probably just send it, but I'm curious what's in it."

"Just everything you told me about a mind esper maybe having gotten sunbae at home—"

"There's some details that should probably go on it..."

"...okay? I'm listening."

"It presented at first as virus-like pornographic pop-ups on my commscreen and prevented me from messaging Im Dojin-sunbae. My phone was similarly compromised, so I called Woo-young on my burner phone and asked to be teleported because—the content of some of those pop-ups looked personal in a way that no one should know about. We went somewhere safe, at first it looked like he could see the contents of my screen just fine which suggested it was a virus after all but it became clear after talking about it that we weren't seeing exactly the same things, at which point he teleported us here. 

"A pop-up with a quest showed up telling me to huddle with Woo-young for warmth, I did that, I got experience and a link to my character sheet, and Woo-young messaged you."

He writes all of that down. "And why were you naked when I arrived?"

"...I was nude at home and did not put clothes on before requesting that Woo-young teleport me."

"Sunbae's naked all the time at his place."

"Sexy."

"Get your mind out of the gutter."

He hits send.

"So... what now?"

"...I don't know. We wait for HQ to respond?"

"Did you feel anything different with that quest reward, by the way? Like more lustful or something."

"What would that even mean."

"Well, I dunno, that's why I'm asking."

"If sunbae's body is thirty-three and fucking is nineteen and perversion is twenty... six? Seven? Then probably one point of lust from eight to nine would be hard to notice."

"And what does that scale mean," he sighs.

"I think you can probably figure it out."

Well, he doesn't feel any more "lustful" or "seductive", so he has no idea.

"Oh, got a response," says Tae-hwan, reopening his commscreen.

And Tae-gun got a notification. His dungeons for tomorrow are being cancelled and... Seo Tae-hwan is meant to have more information?

"HQ wants the two of you to self-isolate for twenty-four hours and report anything weird that happens and if you leave the silo you'll be considered to be compromised and—"

"—you have cameras in your silo, sunbae?"

"...yes."

"Everywhere?"

"Yes!"

Why him.

"Wow. I guess I see where that high perversion score comes from, now."

"Anyway, HQ says that you should set the presence detector in your silo's cameras to track both of you and notify them if anyone else arrives or either of you leaves and presumably they also get notified if you disable that? Sunbae, why—"

"That topic is off-limits."

"...damn, ok."

"Well, if the game isn't going to intercept us then that's probably... fine...?"

"Does your thing say anything about guiding me? I'm still, uh..."

"It doesn't. I assume it doesn't want me to hang out with you guys much longer due to risk of contamination by whatever this is?"

Sigh.

"So if everyone's okay with it I'ma go. Sorry, hyung."

"No, this is sensible, and your idea of writing a report was good, too."

"Yeah. But hey, if this game is real life's about to get a lot more interesting. See you later, sunbaenim!"

He requests a teleport and vanishes.

Tae-gun meanwhile starts setting up the presence tracking procedures at his place.

"I can guide you a bit, too."

"Oh you bet your sweet BOD 33 ass you're guiding me." They're not that compatible but they are by enough that it counts a bit. Plus, if the game is real and he's recovering faster and sunbae's guiding is more efficient, that might even mean he can walk by the time they're not in isolation anymore!

"Right." He saves the notifications settings and then lifts Woo-young up bridal-style to place him on a floating ice hoverchair so that he can use his hands to request a teleport for both of them.

Once they're at Tae-gun's place he takes his and Woo-young's shoes off to leave them by the door and moves upstairs to his bedroom, where he carefully places Woo-young on the bed so that they can snuggle and guide each other.

"Man, I hate getting this backlashed, I can't even use my phone."

A window pops up.

Well the system isn't actually sending the video contents anywhere except for his own personal server but he sure is having thoughts now!!!

"...you know you don't have to, right? This is fine. I can deal with this."

"I know I don't have to," but being guided, even if just a teensy tiny bit, itself triggers the acute symptoms of his backlash some and it's making him kind of horny. "But it's my fault you're like this—"

"How, in the name of your ancestors, is it your fault that some bizarre magic game got attached to you and wants you to have sex?"

Well if he weren't so repressed...

"Sunbae. If I'm ever going to fuck you I do not want it to be under duress. That is not going to do anything good to our relationship."

"I'm always under duress." It's like—his whole thing.

"Uh huh."

...but he kind of wants to.

"...sunbae?"

"Stop talking," he says, and kisses Woo-young.

...oh he sees what FUK 19 means now.

The guiding is honestly kind of shockingly effective. Tae-gun still isn't Tae-hwan, but the compatibility gap is closing. He might have his fingers back in minutes.

Oh. Okay. Evidence.

He's a bit too busy right now to pay attention though because Tae-gun is kind of an amazing kisser? He didn't know he'd been missing out, he's gonna need to give Tae-hwan some pointers later if he can figure out what it is about the kiss that's so good.

Kissing is fluid exchange, and all forms of sex other than penetrative are strictly less effective at guiding than it, so the fact that Tae-gun's hand is starting to slide down Woo-young's torso towards his nether regions has no rational explanation whatsoever.

...okay he'd be lying if he said he hasn't fantasised about this since he first met Tae-gun-sunbae but, "Are you sure you want to do what you're about to do?"

He pulls his hand away and turns over so that his back is to Woo-young and he's covering his face.

What was he doing. With Woo-young?????

He squeaks then scowls. "Fuck you," he grumbles. He wasn't doing it for the game, okay? He was doing it for Woo-young.

"Hey. You alright?"

"Yeah. I'm fine." He turns over again and looks at Woo-young's face. ...he hadn't really stopped to appreciate the fact that Woo-young is attractive, before. And, you know, espers are all hot, but still. "Was it... okay?"

"What, the kiss?"

He nods mutely.

"It was one of the best kisses I've ever had."

He doesn't know how to react to that.

"I've slept around a bit, you know, and I don't want to say it was the very best, but... especially coupled with the feeling of guiding? It was really good."

Oh. Okay.

"And I didn't want to stop for me, I just want to make sure you're only doing things that you want to do and not things that you don't, and definitely not things you regret."

"...I guess... if it's you... it's not so bad?"

"Wow, sunbae, you sure know how to make a boy feel special."

"I, I mean, I mean that since you—"

"I know what you meant. It's less scary if we're not going to be partners and you already know me and you're not risking anything."

Yeah. That.

"...why did you never..."

"...never?"

"Um. Flirt? I guess? Or... try anything?"

"Because you wouldn't want me to. And our friendship is really important to me, a lot more important than whatever else we could be doing."

"So it's not... because you didn't want to?"

"Sunbae. Remember, six years ago, when I first came to a Queer Quasar meetup, and I said I had been questioning my sexuality because I was around so many handsome men?"

Oh. Yeah. He does.

"I was talking about you specifically. Meeting you in person was the thing that made me realise I maybe liked men, too.

"I've wanted it for years."

"But I don't want it to be a problem, you know? Like I said, I'm your—meep!"

Tae-gun is on top of him, kissing him, running his hands on his skin—

...Woo-young has seen Tae-gun naked with an erection before, but it's the first time feeling it pressed against him like that, and it's. Definitely very, very different. It sucks that his backlash gets rid of his ability to move but at least it does not get rid of sensation, at all, and he's definitely getting hard really quickly, too.

He pulls away. "I can't do—more than this. But I can do this. If that's okay?"

"...you really are an idiot, sunbae," says Woo-young, fondly, and his arms work now somehow so he can use them to pull Tae-gun back in.

At some point it occurs to Tae-gun that more skin contact is better for guiding, and that is completely 100% of the reason why he gets rid of his and Woo-young's clothes. And in the middle of making out like that it occurs to him that making out naked while rubbing their cocks together isn't exactly not sex, even if he's resolutely refusing to actually use his hands for anything other than holding Woo-young, but when that happens he fails to bring himself to care very much. Without direct, active stimulation, neither of them comes, which does have the predictable consequence that he gets hornier, but he actually takes some satisfaction in being able to control himself that far.

Even with the enhanced guiding from the game, teleporting two people from Korea to Canada is still a bit much, and Woo-young isn't all the way to fully mobile by the time the sound of their growling stomachs suggests they ought to put some food in them and probably go to sleep; this whole thing started late enough, after Tae-gun's last dungeon for the day, they're kind of burning the midnight oil. Woo-young lets Tae-hwan know they're alive and have not been taken over by sexy brain aliens (...too much) and then they go to bed.

And on the bright side, sleeping together does get rid of the last bits of his backlash! Which is to say, "Sunbae, we should maybe consider the possibility that this is real."

"But I don't want to."

With this sign that they're properly woken up, the game pops up a window.

Quiet mode deactivated.

Having sex [however technical] with someone you love, and not deciding retroactively that it was some sign that you're broken and should catapult yourself into the nearest volcano, has increased your ERO by 1!

"...isn't ERO the... improbability stat..."

...is the game saying that by having sex with Woo-young he literally bent the laws of probability. "Fuck you, too."

ERO / Erogame Logic: The extent to which the world will bend---or can be bent by you---to create romantic and sexual situations in defiance of probability. Or at higher levels, physics. If you keep pushing probability to its limits, then probability will learn to be a bit more flexible down there, relax and take it in easier. You cannot actively increase this stat; it tracks your character progression.

"You could just show me character progression screen rather than making me have to click it." Click.

Same character page as before. The ERO boost put his his BKL cap at 9438, an increase of almost a thousand points. Despite the LST increase, his backlash is down by 20 points, so his effective LST is down to 16.