Laia hears that Lady Eriape is in the antimagic cell in the palace dungeons when the party who accosted her brag about it in the convention hall the next day. She sends Eloi out to get confirmation of that and see if Lady Eriape is allowed visitors for spiritual counseling. By the end of the convention she has an appointment.
In she goes. "Lady Eriape, thank you so much for agreeing to see me, I'm Songbird Laia Solandra."
Eriape is very trussed up, in her cell, but her face is visible above the chains.
"Hello Song Bird! Did you get my Autobiography? I published it for You!"
"I grabbed a copy as soon as it was available, I think I have a complete set of your publications to date! You must have been in a terrible hurry to get it through Osirion's board that quickly."
"It was a Wicked Law you Made! Everybody was having a Great Time writing Pamplets, so I had to Do Something!"
"I gave a speech against it on the floor!" And then she voted for it because someone clarified that there were backroom dealings but it is still true that she made a speech against it on the floor. "I'll miss the pamphlets a lot, I don't think freedom of the pen was to blame for all the things they were trying to react to at all. And today some people were bragging about having found you and caught you so I knew I had to come see you as soon as I could."
"Thank you for Attempting to Achieve a Sane Outcome! Probably wise to Meet me Sooner rather than Later! I think they are going to try to Kill Me! Rude if you Ask Me!"
"It's so rude! I doubt you've done a single thing wrong since the amnesty and there's people who once did all kinds of things still around, even if most of them are alive."
"Yes! My Human Urchins have been Very Helpful to me in my Attempts to Bring Sanity to Cheliax, and they told me the most Hair-Raising Stories! I believe you have an Urchin Too!"
"He's an actor, but I suppose there's a bit of urchinry to him if you look at it just so. Do you think it would be appropriate to have child actors playing badgers? The costumes would be pretty bulky, you see, so it'd add up to about the right size."
"Yes! But there will be Badger Actors soon Enough, so you should Mention in the Stage Directions that they should Use Proper Badgers if Available!"
"Will there! I'll put a note, but I'm not sure it will be within a typical theater's budget. Now, in your song, if I've got the lyrics down right, it's got a line where it says you dance beneath the moonlight blue. I understand it'd be hard to show me right now but it's a very danceable tune, can you give me any notes on how it should be choreographed?"
"The Badgers used to Jump Up and Down when Singing that One, but they have Four Legs! I think due to the Different Body Plan, Human Actors might Tumble or Something! By the Way, there were Some things that the Osirian Censors made me Leave Out from my Youth! I should Tell you Now!"
"My Mother was the Daughter of a City Count, sent Away into the Country for the Usual Reason. She was a Slut! We were Twins. Mother doted on her but Not on Me! So I doted on Myself. While Velarise practiced her Lightning I Read A Lot. At age Fifteen, I heard Whispers of a Necromancer. In an Ancient Tomb I found Master Jordi Raventós, an Old Man and Necromancer who had Retreated from the World as I later did! 'Fools!' He would Exclaim between Coughs "I'll Show them All!" His Hands shook too badly to perform Much Magic, but his mind Remained Sharp. He was a Great Man.
He would Spend Hours detailing his theories about Necromancy between his tirades and only Touched me in Unseemly Ways a Few Times, which is the Price of Doing Business. Master Raventós had Spent his Entire Life working toward Lichdom. When He Died, He was Not Ready. So it Goes. He died During my Fifth year of Study, and I did not Kill Him. He was Just Old!
Velarise became an Adventurer Too! She had no Children, and Would then Later Fall in the War against Hell! Our Family Lived on (More of Less) in Me and Now in my Badgers!"
She thinks for a moment.
"I think those are the Important Parts!"
"All right, I think that probably covers - two acts, maybe, your earliest youth in the first and your wizarding apprenticeship with a little bit of Velarise as a foil in the second act. And in the third we're going to want the becoming a lich and acquiring the badgers part, I think, with the full theme song - though I think motifs from it should appear throughout - and then an intermission, to represent how long your unlife has been, and in the fourth act we open on Westcrown, with the pamphleteering. I've already started twiddling a few of the pamphlets into rhyme, though I haven't got tunes, I've done very little composing.
"I've been thinking, about the fifth act."
"So the thing is this really wants to be a lively fun show, right? And you're the protagonist! A lively fun protagonist can't die at the end."
"I Think So Too! If you are to Break me Out, I think you will need to Defeat the Queen!"
"Well, I'm pretty sure I can't defeat the queen. But," DRAMATIC PAUSE, "there's a party member of hers... who's very good at resurrections."
"Perhaps you are Right, you are an Artist and a Lady, much like Myself! Didn't she change Someone into a Flail Snail? I am not Sure she can be Trusted. Oh! I could offer to fix her Reincarnation Spell so that it Only Makes Badgers!"
"That would be a lovely ending, though I'm not sure you're currently able to do much research, even for something so deeply within your specialty! I was imagining a conventional non-reincarnation resurrection, though."
"I Suppose."
She thinks for a while.
"I am not Sure I approve of the Person I was Before! She did not Like Singing or Badgers or anything except Necromancy. Now, Necromancy is interesting, don't get me Wrong, but it is Much More Fun to spend your time with your Badger Friends. We should ask her how it Works- I Have never met any long-time resurrected Undead! I wouldn't want to Stop liking Badgers!"
"I can write down any questions you have for the Arch-healer and bring them to her tapping hours at the temple of Abadar! The first one being that you're concerned that you will go back to being interested mostly in necromancy and less in singing with your badger friends, which I agree sounds much more fun."
"I can at least mention it! Do you think the adventurers found all your money, or is there some you could put toward the Arch-healer's spell?"
"All my Money was Elsewhere, mostly in the Bank! My Badger Friends will have Moved it to Different Account by Now! The Wicked Adventurers got my Daily Use Sorcerous Objects, and My Book of Spells, but Nothing Else! But you could Go and Ask the Badgers for Money!"
"They weren't captured? Probably if it's in the bank it would be safest for me to just take your statement that you want to spend in this way and the bankers can find it when I tell them. A reincarnation from the Arch-healer is only ten dollars but a resurrection is thousands, which I'm sure you can afford but they will probably truth spell me about it."
"It was Important that they Not Be Captured! I Made Sure that they Got Away! If we Write a Letter to the Badgers, I am Sure they will Send the Money!"
"I was imagining just telling the bankers what you said without going through the badgers at all. Suppose I startled them? Or they didn't believe me, since they aren't Abadarans with truth magic? And I'd tell the bankers that you said it in an antimagic cell, which I would expect would mean you couldn't have been enchanted into saying it."
"I think they're terribly finicky, so you might have to say quite exactly how much you'd like to let Arch-healer Naima draw from your account and which number it is and for what purposes. If you would?"
"Dear Mister Arch Banker. I would like Arch-Healer Naima to be able to Draw the Market Price for a Resurrection from my Account 000021911 for the Price and Purpose of Resurrecting Me. Thank you Kindly, Lady Eriape."
"Wonderful, I think that will probably convince them! - Oh, I did also mean to ask, did you write your song yourself?"
"We Tried, all the Badgers together, but it did not Sound right. We hired a Bard from Absalom to help us with the Melody."
"Can I have their name, in case they'd be willing to write more in the same style so the whole show meshes well?"
"Master Finnian Cassia, then of the White Grotto- he was Recommended to us by Rosvierre Ibanc- do you Know Him?"
"No, but if you'll tell me where he's to be found I can send off a letter."
"That's in Absalom! I am Sure the White Grotto has a Forwarding Address!"
"Great! Okay, so my to-do list looks like going and asking the Abadarans and Naima about getting you resurrected, and sending a letter to Absalom about getting more music commissioned. Anything else going undone while you're stuck in here that I might be able to help with?"
"You should Talk to the Urchins, and Give them Good Cheer! They are Probably still in the S.R.Egbad Warehouse! The Badgers will have Left, but any Words of Encouragement you can Give them would be Beneficial"
"Urchins in the S. R. Egbad warehouse, good to know. Well, I hope I'll be able to come back with good news, Lady Eriape. Thank you again so very much for receiving me." She smooths her skirt and gets up.
It probably shouldn't be scarier to go try to get an appointment with Archhealer Naima than to go minister to a lich in the dungeon but she had a shared interest in musical theater, with the lich. Alas.
Naima is regularly to be found at the Church of Abadar at reliable hours, and there too is Laia, standing off to the side, not in need of a tap.
The boys taking fees for people getting into line can direct her to Novella, who is first going through the people who made appointments with her through Naima's regular representative in Westcrown earlier in the week. A handful are moved through, but most are quoted varying prices and told that she can pencil them in for three days from now or a week from now, only some of whom appear able to pay them.
She does make it through the people who made appointments at other points in the week, though by that point they're nearing the end of Naima's hour and a half for Westcrown. "Hello, I'm Novella. You want to speak to the Archmage?"
"That's right. I'm Songbird Solandra and I've been spiritually counseling a prisoner in the Crown dungeons who needs and can pay for a visit there, not being free to attend these events at the moment."
"Yes, I've confirmed with the Bank of Abadar that they can still draw down their account and there's plenty in it."
"Is that all? You don't need an appointment for a resurrection, the Abadarans run a rolling auction for us. The last ones were a little over forty thousand dollars each, and the next ones will be on Sunday." This won't work if the prisoner is trying to evade justice but it's really the Abadarans' job to explain that.
"I thought I'd need the appointment because she's not free to come here. They've got her in an antimagic cell at the moment and there's probably going to be some security complication with getting her out so she can be resurrected, for one."
" - the prisoner is currently dead, and in the antimagic cell in the dungeons, and wishes to purchase a resurrection for herself?"
"Yeah, all right, you might need an appointment for that. Is she urgently facing destruction?"
"I don't think there's a scheduled destruction date or anything but I really couldn't bet on her safety for any length of time."
Well, that's fairly important and she has no idea what Naima will say about it. "All right, go on then."
Laia goes on then. Waits for Naima's attention, then makes an unnecessarily showy curtsey. "Archmage, I beg your kindness in visiting a prisoner who presently occupies the Crown dungeons for, so far as I am aware, being a lich and no other crime, and stands ready to pay you out of her uncaptured bank assets for a remedy to this condition."
" - is this the lich that went to Osirion to publish a biography earlier this week?"
"Ugh. I suppose that's an offered service. If the Queen permits her to buy one I'll sell it, but I'm charging her double for the injury to international relations."
That's not fair at all but you can't say that to an archmage. "Thank you for your consideration. How should I contact your office if my petition to the Queen is accepted?"
This particular lich has probably caused way more than five thousand gold in damages to Naima personally, and she's very annoyed about it. Also it's a massive headache to have to go to the dungeons and interface with lich security on what's supposed to be her day off. She's just mature and responsible enough to be willing to come up with a price for these things instead of denying services entirely.
"You can leave a message with the Abadarans here, they run the auction numbers and they'll get it to me. Next Westcrown resurrections are Sunday. I assume there are complicated security measures in place, so if necessary you can take one of my staff here to scope out the dungeons and talk to the queen's about what I ought to do when I get there."
The queen is usually available on less than a day's notice for convention business. (Audiences with delegates are presumed convention business.)
Curtsey! "Your majesty, I'm Songbird Solandra, and I've come to ask your tolerance of the resurrection of the lich Eriape," monarchs probably get touchy about it if you call people by their stage names that happen to have titles in them, "who is now in your dungeon; she can afford Archmage Naimah's" highway robbery "fee out of her bank account and I have achieved her own agreement."
This is why she usually doesn't allow imprisoned liches visitors.
"If returned to life, what do you expect her to do? What does she expect to do? Has she made assurances to you that she would not begin pursuing lichdom again within the year?"
"I didn't ask her for such assurances, your majesty. Many living men and women in your kingdom have committed terrible crimes before the amnesty and if they breathe they now find themselves forgiven for it. I should like to counsel her through atoning and seeing about the well-being of her badgers and believe this will be easier if she can think about it without the shadow of undeath."
If it works it will make beautiful propaganda.
"You have our assent, on the condition that she put money in escrow against any damages she might cause in the next five years if your counsel fails. Two-thirds of her assets after the resurrection, or fifty thousand Absalom pounds, whichever is less. If she is willing we shall allow and enable a priest of Abadar to interview her to determine the amount and arrange the escrow."
"One will suffice. We wish you the best of fortune with your endeavor."
Eriape's just as tied up as last time, in her antimagic cell- but she's certainly available for conversations.
"Hello again Song Bird! How was the Queen?"
"The Queen is willing that you be resurrected, but she wants more money - set aside in case your living self is more than she bargained for, or I suppose since she did bargain for it I'd need a different expression - anyway. Two thirds of what's left after you pay for the resurrection - Archmage Naima's charging extra, but based on what the Abadarans said I think you can still cover it - or fifty thousand Absalom pounds, whichever's less. I think you'd get it back after five years of not causing any damage, though."
"That was what I thought about it too! And you'll still be able to make magic items, I'd imagine, you'll make it all back."
Eriape rattles her chains. "If I am not Too Old! What about the Badgers? Will I still Like Badgers?"
"I hope so! I think caring about your badger friends so much is very sweet."
"I Would Much Prefer to Die than Stop Liking Badgers. This Specific Thing is Not Negotiable."
"I think you'll still have all your memories. I must admit I don't know that much about resurrections. But, if you die now you might wind up in Hell, and I am pretty sure devils don't like badgers at all. I bet every single Upper Plane has badgers in it, and even if you don't like badgers quite so much right after returning to life, you'll have a shot at a whole eternity in which to learn to like them again!"
"If I am Resurrected into a Mind that Does not Like Badgers, it means that I am Dead much more than than your Queen could ever Accomplish. If I am to be a Paving Stone, then I will be a Paving Stone that Likes Badgers."
"Well... you seem pretty Lawful to me. Do you think you could just solemnly swear to like badgers?"
"It this Goes Wrong, it will be as if Another Person that has Taken a Vow for the Eriape that Was. I cannot Encompass her Thoughts, I cannot Be Her, but if you were to Consume a Strong Drink by Accident, and then while under the Influence Swear a Vow, would you then Honor it?"
"Hm. Did you dislike badgers before, or did you just not think about them much?"
"She...I Remember Knowing I did not Care about Things outside Myself."
"She...Went and Killed the Dire Badgers, Just to Use them to Construct my Lair, and Did not Think of It as anything but Gaining Construction Equipment."
"A resurrection won't take if you don't want it, so I want to make sure it's right for you. Is there anyone I should be asking questions of, or books I should be reading, to find out more about what happens to ex-liches, I don't know if it's happened ever before."
"I know Someone who Will Know. Would you Mind Writing a Letter? You could Draw On my Bank Account for Franking Expenses for a Teleport Letter"
"To the Dread Mummy Arodeline Thackery, care of The Imperishable Brotherhood, Arbitrage Avenue, Sothis, Osirion.
Hello It's Eriape Again! I have been Caught by the Queen of Cheliax and her Posse of Goons, and am Planning to be Resurrected as a Consequence. This Letter is Written by a Nice Human named Laia who is Going to Make a Play about Me. I will not be Resurrected if I do not Keep my Liking for Badgers, so do you Know if I will Keep my Liking for Badgers afterwards? Please Ask around at the Club for Me, but Quickly, because I expect to be Executed Soon. Hope everything is Going Well for you with the Aroden Thing.
I wish you Plentiful Badgers and Optimal Tidings,
Eriape"
Laia takes this down faithfully, adds transcribed by Sb. Laia Solandra, and runs off to draw down the account and send it.
"To the Lich Eriape, care of the Antimagic Cell, The Prisons of the Queen, Westcrown, Cheliax.
Hello. Always said you shouldn't have stayed in Cheliax, it's a suboptimal country. It depends on the god, the caster, and if the undeath organic or imposed. If it's a neutral god, and given that you're an organic undead, the Club prediction market implies that a 92% that you'll keep it. With a good god, 84%. Aroden's still dead, and we still don't know who did it. We're still working on both projects. Only one badger so far, but I am reliably informed of more on the way.
General Secretary of the Imperishable Brotherhood, Arodeline Thackeray."
