And then, due to some safety modifications typical of the haustoric implants of runners, he immediately passes out. 

Dr Bun is taking a lunch break from the Milliways infirmary. It's been a month. Any time, he can walk out that door, back to one last shift in Bangkok before transferring to his hometown. And he will! But here--

He treated a Neanderthal woman for an infected leg wound yesterday. She would have died if she hadn't walked through something door like enough. She would have died even if she had been born 10,000 years later.

When he's here, he can help. 

Also, there's certain, exciting cases you don't get to see in Bangkok. Magical backlash. People with their souls on the outside as animals.  People with robotic arms.

The food is much better than in canteen at his old hospital, too.

You did get people immediately collapsing as soon as they walked in the door back in Bangkok, too.

He squats down next to his new patient. Is he breathing? Not turning blue in any extremities?

He is breathing and not turning blue in any extremities! In fact, he looks exactly and in every way like he's conscious, except for the obvious fact that he isn't. 

Well, one still has to check. 

He puts his hand on his. "Can you hear me? If you can't talk, you can squeeze my hand."

He's receiving... instructions? He is supposed to obey instructions. Yes. 

He slowly squeezes Bun's hand. 

Progress! Conscious but can't talk is so much better than unconscious.

"Squeeze once for yes, twice for no.  Do you know--" he can't ask if he knows where he is, he fainted right as he came in the door "-- what is happening to you."

Oh no. Questions. He is not really in a state to answer questions, being mostly unconscious.

He doesn't squeeze Bun's hand. 

Okay, he's about to do something that would make hospital administration mad at him, but they're not here. (Another point for Milliways.)

If he walked in, he doesn't have a spinal injury. He needs to be in a infirmary bed, attached to monitors and near a nice, well stocked pharmacy.

Time to awkwardly half lift him so Bun can carry him there. ...carry-ish.

Yeah this person is 6'2" and composed of solid muscle, does Bun have another idea. 

... that may have been a plan ahead of its time. 

New plan: break world record for running to the infirmary, grabbing a transport bed, and running back. 

His patient had better not have died in the two minutes he was unsupervised.

If the Affini could hear Bun's thoughts, they would be very offended! Kill a darling, adorable, cute sophont while trying to incapacitate them?The Affini are far more competent at biotech than that. 

Anyway, Cayden is stable. 

Excellent.

"I apologise for this, sir." It is not the most graceful loading of a patient onto a stretcher, but it works well enough. 

To the infirmary! And to hook up this mystery patient blood-ox monitor and a heart monitor so he's not relying on 'well, he seems to be breathing.'

He's going to need a tox screen, too. "Can you hear me?" Because you want to reassess your patient's state of consciousness before you try and draw blood. 

What is that mysterious production of sounds. 

He takes a few vials of blood. Toxic screen, and he would feel stupid if he forgot to check his iron levels and this turned out to be the fittest anaemic person in the multiverse. 

Any reaction?

Cayden is actually fairly used to mysterious and painful things happening to him, so... no.

If the,  uh, transfer incident didn't wake him up, the pinch of a blood test probably wouldn't.

He sends the sample off. The Bar is surprisingly efficient when it comes to medical tests. 

His heart rate is fine. His blood oxygen is fine. He has no obvious injury.

This leaves very limited explanations left and he doesn't like any of them. 

"I know you could hear and react before. Can you try again? I need to make sure you're okay."

That sounds like an order. It is Bad to disobey orders. 

He makes a low groan. (Bun can barely hear it.)

Signs! Of! Consciousness!

"You're in an infirmary, and I'm going to make sure you're as okay as I can make it. But I am going to ask for you to stay awake so I can find out what happened." This rarely works, but it's a low risk intervention.

There is an instruction! He is going to do his best to follow the instruction even though he is So sleepy.

The toxicology scan returns!

Cayden has a 'haustoric implant,' a surgically implanted ball of plant matter which is capable of overriding his muscles, dispensing drugs, and mild thought control. 

Cayden is positive for: 

Affini Xenodrugs, Class A: makes skin more sensitive and touch more pleasurable. 
Affini Xenodrugs, Class C: increases the natural human bonding response.
Affini Xenodrugs, Class E: relaxants (in this case, a mild type which is safe to be on indefinitely)
Affini Xenodrugs, Class J: long-term drugs (which require a rampup and rampdown of a few days) that make a human euphoric, sensitive to touch, and very cuddly.
Affini Xenodrugs, Class M: cause a deep sense of peacefulness, difficulty thinking, and lack of desire to move
Affini Xenodrugs, Class P: controls a human's body (in this case, a subtype that renders the human unable to move)

He is not anemic.

The Bar is remarkably efficient at blood tests. Who could get used to having results in just a few minutes.

"Well, that's certainly diagnostic," he says,  because you shouldn't shout 'Why!?' at semi conscious patients.

"Can you move and just do not want to?"

Is his silence an answer? Because, seriously, he cannot think to answer a question right now.

(This is a really nasty Class P.)

... okay, he has a patient in an unclear state of consciousness, with a lot of muscle relaxants and paralytics he doesn't know on board. Great! Wonderful!

He's going to establish an IV, just so he's ready to push something through if he has to, because that's rarely a wrong answer. And then he's going to check what the Bar says to do. 

On Earth, you will sometimes see a medical professional turning away from you and typing things into a computer screen you can't see, while looking very serious and going "hm." Some large percentage of the time, they have completely forgotten how to treat whatever you have and are looking it up in UpToDate.

The Infirmary also has an UpToDate! Many Earth medical professionals would give up both their kidneys to have access to it, or at least the parts that assume you're working on reductionist patients and you're not a Golarion cleric or a Velgarth Healer or an elf. 

Bun's account already knows that he's a baseline human without special powers, and thus displays only the relevant parts of Affini Xenodrug Poisoning In Adults, Class P. 

It provides information about Epidemiology, Pharmacokinetics, Biochemical Toxicity, Clinical Factors That May Influence Toxicity, Differential Diagnosis, Clinical Manifestations, Evaluation and Diagnosis, and Treatment. 

Does he need to know the epidemiology or differential diagnosises right now? No,  he does not.

He looks at the treatment, and then the clinical factors while he's already standing there. 

Well, ideally, you should get whatever Affini who poisoned your patient to cut it out.

If there are no Affini nearby, you can do standard supportive treatment for a poisoning: IV fluids, monitoring for seizures, etc. If the patient has a haustoric implant, the implant is likely pumping more Class Ps into your patient's system. Monitor to see if they're coming out of it on their own, and if not you can apply thus-and-such pressors to counteract the Class P, an effect something like putting down the gas and the breaks at the same time. 

Clinical factors explain that Class P drugs are remarkably safe for baseline humans and don't interact with any common recreational drugs or worsen any health problems. However, they interact extremely badly with xianxiahumans. Quendi patients are likely to die immediately upon application of a Class P. While normally Class Ps work fine on Golarion gnomes, when given to a gnome in liver inflammation, they cause severe jaundice. DO NOT MIX CLASS Ps WITH PAN GALACTIC GARGLE BLASTERS. And so on and so forth. 

Well, he has no good way to tell if this person is a xianxiaworld human. Other than the fact that monitors are not beeping that angrily, he supposes. 

He'll give him three hours of IV fluids and monitoring, and if he hasn't improved then, then the pressors comes out. 

Yeah three hours of IV fluids aren't helping. 

(In the meantime Bar helpfully assigns him six starving, variously injured children from something called a "Hunger Games.")

...the patient may have gotten left for a little over three hours, on account of being stable and not worrying, and doesn't require treatment for blunt force trauma or anaemia or avoiding refeeding syndrome. 

Though now the children are the relatively stable ones, and he can spend sometime dealing with a patient who's body has the gas and brakes on while simultaneously riding the clutch. The pressors go on board. 

"Bwuh?" Cayden says. 

Everything in the world is inexplicably terrifying and his muscles are so tight and also he doesn't want to move at all but he can move which is better.

Yes, that's a patient who's had a pharmacological sledgehammer applied to them. ...pharmacological un-sledgehammer. 

"How are you feeling?" (Orientation questions can be asked later. He does not expect a sensible answer to 'do you know where you are?' anyway.)

"Like complete and utter shit. Which is novel."

Coherence! Joy of joys, the patient seems to be at least a little with it! "This is one of the better places to feel like that. You're in the infirmary at Milliways. Do you know how you ended up here?" 

"Your records will probably be a better source of information than my memories? They're... kind of a sieve, you know, because of all the xenodrugs."

"Not that I'm criticizing the xenodrugs! I appreciate all the Affini have done for me."

"You walked through a door and immediately fell unconscious. Which is why I am going to highly reccommend you stop taking them." 

"If you're... sure...?"

"You collapsed as soon as you walked into a room." And are going to be dealing with going cold turkey off a drug you should really ramp down, why did he even do this? "I am sure." 

He looks like he's going to say something and then he shuts up.

"I cannot actually stop you. Not once you're steady enough on your own feet to leave. But you did give me the sort of tox screen that I have to say something about." 

"You can stop me. Or-- your Affini can, or my Affini--"

Ah, one of his favourite talks to have with his patients, the 'I do not own slaves,' one. "I don't own an Affini. I don't own you, either." 

"Obviously. Affini own humans, not the other way around."

He runs over the list of drugs in the light of that information. That is certainly a set of implications that he is going to be neutral about, so he doesn't scare a patient who thinks he's owned and who has just taken several pharmacological bricks to the face. "I'm not owned by anyone. And while I can't say there are no Affini here-- this place takes all sorts-- I can say that none will have to get involved." 

"...am I in the Terran Accord?"

Panic!!!! He does not have useful job skills! He's going to be enslaved!!!!

He has no clue where that is, but he can at least reassure his patient that they are not there.  "You're in Milliways. It's a place where dimensions meet. ... and mostly a bar."

"I need to go back to where my owner is."

Nooo, you do not. "When you are stable and recovered, you can walk back through the door you came in from. That will take you back to where you left."

"I'm a runner," he explains.

"You can stay here as long as you need."

Wow his brain is extremely on fire and it sucks! It's so hard to say things! Normally it's hard to say things but also no one wants him to talk!

"I'm frozen if I'm away from my affini without permission because I try to escape." There. Clauses and everything.

...Mmm. That sounds about right. 

It's his job, as the doctor, to be the calmest one in the room. "That is fixable."

"Yeah. The affini fixed it."

"... you are aware you are talking to me right now because I gave you an antidote to the drug that paralyses you?"

"Because I came into your bar and you want to know who owns me?"

"It's not my bar." 'The Bar owns itself' is irrelevant and a touch too complicated to try and explain right now. "I treated you because that sort of paralysis is dangerous." Not perfectly accurate, but as lies to patients go, he will stand by it. 

"And you don't have Affini to monitor it."

"I do not, no."

This is exhausting and he wants to take a nap now. ... His pulse is racing too much for naps.

"I understand this is very sudden. There is a limit to what I can do, but if there is something I can do,  let me know."

"...nap?"

He could take him off the pressors, which should make sleep more possible... but it will paralyse him again, and he would like to avoid that. Or he can load him up with benadryl or such like, but then they're in an 'old lady who swallowed a fly' situation. Drugs: not even once, and don't try to prescribe them. 

"I could temporarily take you off the antidote, but it will paralyse you again. I can also see about getting something that tends to make people sleepy."

Why is he being consulted about this he's not the doctor????????

Fuck it, benadryl is safe and it keep him capable of using the call button.

"I'll get you something that will make you sleepy but won't paralyse you. If you need anything or feel sick--" he points to the call button "--press this and someone will check on you."

Oh good someone else is making choices he's bad at choices.

He nods furiously. 

Benadryl: acquired!

Now to make sure nothing too exciting is happening with his gaggle of teenagers while this patient sleeps.

A few hours later, he resurfaces, still feeling like shit warmed over!

That was really remarkably unrestful sleep, all things considered.

"I'm awake, sir," he says to the human. 

Bun has been busy making sure several teenagers don't die or kill each other, and looking into ways to treat the drug implant from hell.

There is a way on Milliways, and as they say: if it's stupid and it works, it's not stupid. 

"I have a potential treatment, but it will require bringing one of my colleagues in. Is that okay?"

Why does this person keep acting like he has input into what happens to him?

"Sure."

Bun puts in a page. He hasn't worked with her much, seeing as she doesn't usually treat humanoids and he does, but she does have the skills to help, as well as the,  uh, other colleague.

She arrives five minutes later with a four foot tall fat bipedal cow.

"Hello! I'm Nurse Joy, and this is Boba."

Boba is a trained therapy pokemon, and she is standing politely by Cayden's bedside, trying to stare into his soul. Has he considered she has a nose that is so velvety and soft? Has he considered that he's allowed to pat it?

People generally like it when he pats soft things! He has several drugs about this specifically!

He pats the Boba. 

Yess, he is getting a good grade in petting! And Boba is getting a good grade on being pet!

Literally the entire purpose of his existence is getting a good grade in petting, so that's good!

He feels a lot better now that he has an understandable task.

A positive expression! Note to self,  make sure this patient gets added to the therapy animal rotation.

"Boba, are you ready to use Healing Bell?"

Boba shakes her neck-- while very carefully keeping her head still-- and rings the bell around her neck. 

It creates a soothing sensation that quickly stops, replaced by the feeling of being on no drugs at all. 

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand the patient is immediately comatose again. 

... why would he ever think it would be that easy. Are his vitals still alright? Maybe, if they're both lucky, he's just really, really tired. 

"Thank you, Nurse Joy."

"Come along now, Boba."

:( human is asleep and other humans are worried, and this means no pets for Boba :(

His pulse is over 120 and he keeps twitching and the hairs all over his body are standing up and tears are leaking from his eyes!

No, tachycardia is not allowed. Practice in a busy emergency department, followed by slightly less practice in Milliways, means he can push anti-tachycardia drugs with one hand while bringing up UpToDate with the other. 

Mm, yep, that's Class J withdrawal. 

Why would he have ever expected anything else? 

Does UpToDate have any opinions about treatment other than "make sure patient's heart does not explode?"

It should be ramped down over a period of a week, standard Earth time.

... which is not a thing he can do with an implant in his patient he can't take out, and magical creature as his only method of detoxing.

Thank you, UpToDate, you have been very helpful. 

Time for as much supportive care he can throw at the situation by himself!