There is a vast field of rock broken up by occasional piles of detritus and heaps of trash. There are mountains of it, and the smell is correspondingly vile. Most of what's left seems to be rusting metal, glass, and something weird and shiny and flexible.

(Off in the distance, towering vastly, vastly over the horizon, is a titanic city that fades into the clouds. It looks like it's literally flying. Small shapes float around it, and a little speck of dust that is actually a forty ton load of trash falls from some part of it, lazily crawling towards the surface like a raindrop on glass. There is a distant, dull roar from the city, all the mingled noise of machinery made indistinguishable by distance.)

There's an ostentatious puff of smoke, and ERIAPE has arrived, with eight badgers, all holding each others paws in a little ring. One of them is wearing four little boots, one on each paw. All of them, including Eriape, have parchment-like skin (though fur-covered), and bright sparks of magic instead of eyes. "Bam!" she says. 

Four urchins wearing large backpacks peer at each other. One of them was pulling a metal box of some sort apart into more transportable segments, and stands up holding a big panel. He claps appreciatively, rapping on the panel.

"That's definitely magic! Hey, should we leg it?"

"Dunno."

This other boy will also clap! The badgers look kind of scary but also kind of cool, like cyborg-creatures from Bastion.

Eriape speaks every language, because she has a Permanent spell that just does that. "Yes! Magic! I am Eriape, Princess of Badgers!"

"Hello, miss Eriape! We're just scavenging. Did you make those badgers with magic?"

"Sort of! I start off with The Common Badger, already an Excellent Creature, and then I Improve Them with Magic! I have Made them both Smart and Strong! We have come here, in Glory, because I'm looking for a Thing that is Supposed to Be Here."

"Though it Might Not be Here!"

"Yes It Might Not! But I'm Pretty Sure! A Black Enamel Sculpture of a Badger- in my Home Plane, they call it the Molthune Badger. Have you Seen It?"

"We haven't seen any statues or sculptures recently. The Bastards up there-" A thumb-hook to the distant city, "Throw out all kinds of perfectly good stuff, but people fight over the good spots."

"Molthune sounds like a place name. I never heard of it though."

She is fidgeting. She nearly presses the button again but that won't help. She relaxes when she hears the distant rumble of a truck.

"But, nope. No badgers here. Except yours, I mean."

Eriape pays no heed to Rumblings. 

"It is a Place Name. They say that the Molthune Badger is From There, but it has Gotten very Lost. It appears Immune to my Scrying. What are You looking For?"

"Stuff we can sell! That mostly means whatever components and capacitors and stuff we can pull out of things."

"And things... Hidden. In locked boxes or beneath other stuff. Or just stuff that's filthy but intact."

The rumbling is getting louder. The truck comes into view, a big heavy all-terrain boxy thing kicking up dust behind it. The kids look towards it, relieved, except the oldest one who keeps her eyes on Eriape.

She looks at it skeptically.

"Is this Your Creature? It seems Badly Shaped and Not Very Nice." 

"That's the boss's truck. She calls it her baby sometimes, but it's a thing, not an animal."

"Boss Wren is nice! Look, she's driving it, you can see her in the front window."

There's certainly someone visible in the front window. Someone with a teensy little bit of magic about them, even.

Truck turns and rolls to a stop side-on to both groups. She gets out a moment later.

"A Construct! I Still Don't like Its Shape. I will Tell Her!"

She walks up to the construct, badgers following her, sniffing at things  "Greetings, Miss Wren! I am Eriape, Princess of Badgers!"

"...Right. I'm Wren Cooper, princess of this truck. Are we going to have any trouble from you if we all pack up and leave?"

Her voice is muffled and echoey from the heavy mask.

Eriape looks at her in her [Arcane Sight]. She looks a bit magical, that's Interesting. 

"No, I hardly Think So. However, I don't like the Shape of your Truck! It is Too Square! If you Want, I could Help you Fix it!"

One the one hand: Magic. Witch! One who seems confident. The smart move is to go far away and quick. Especially to protect the brats.

On the other hand... Magic.

"...In what way? If it's bigger it needs more maintenance and more fuel and it's harder to drive. There's definitely upgrades I would want to make, but... Expensive. Dangerous to move in the circles where most of the things I'd need are even traded."

"Are they Doing This Nowadays?"

She pokes the big round wheels with a black-nailed finger.

"That's Not Good."

She gazes in through the windshield. 

"Certainly a Way of Going About It"

She flies up, lifting from the ground without any visible spellcasting(*) to look at it from the top, and then comes back to where Wren Cooper is. 

"Miss Wren Cooper, I think your Truck Construct should be More Badger Shaped."

(*) Editor's Note: This is a higher level Eriape, who goes around with [Overland Flight]

Flight is alarming! Luckily she made sure the hidden turret can aim upwards. 

"...Is that... Beneficial in some way...? I mean... Quadrupedalism would help with all-terrain navigation, and be really cool, but it is so so much harder, I'd need tons of fancy myomer and new structure and so much else."

...Aaaaah. Will flattering her help?

"I don't have magic like you do, so it might be hard to maintain whatever you do in, er, a properly Badgerly fashion?"

(She gives a hand sign to the trash urchins.)

"Well, it would Look Better! Oh well, It's Not Mandatory!"

What is it that Goes Wrong with People? This Completely unnecessary Desire for Utilitarian Fashion must be some kind of Mental Defect!

She shakes her head. "We need to Get Going Soon Anyway. Have you Seen a Sculpture of a Badger? It is an Artifact, Made of Gold and Jewels, and Covered in Black Enamel. I'm looking for It."

"Sounds really fancy. Not the kind of thing that gets thrown in the trash."

...She has an Idea. They're perfect for each other, really, and both will be out of her hair.

"There's a guy named Glenn Barlu who collects rare and unique things as art. He has a big nuclear-powered crawler swarming with goons. It has a huge symbol of a golden pig on it. You can't possibly miss it. He might know more."

Eriape frowns.

"Why a Pig?"

"I think he just has really terrible taste in decorations. He's probably..." Bastionwards and left, so... "That way somewhere."

"Okay! We'll Go There! Best of Luck with your Truck! Feed it the Good Snacks!" 

Eriape goes back to her badgers. 

"She Told us to Meet a Pig Man. What do You think?"

"We should Get the Flying Carpet, and go for a Ride!"

"We Should Dig a Hole, and Scry in Secret!"

"Hmm. I think I like the Flying Carpet Idea!"

She pulls it out of her purse(*) and spreads it out. 

"Everyone On Board!"

(*) Editor's note: Which is, among other things, a Handy Haversack. You can get a 10x10 flying carpet into a Handy Haversack if you fold it over once, and then roll it up

"Wheee!"

Thank the Wall she's leaving. 

She and Barlu probably deserve each other. There was a palpable aura of menace, as if the affable and badger-loving front could at any moment turn to brutal killing.

Oh well. Hopefully, Wren Cooper will never see Eriape and her badgers again.

The landscape of trash stretches out before Eripae. Here and there are scavengers. Off in the distance a bit there is a small industrial complex of some kind spewing smoke.

Eriape steers the carpet, so all Clarabella has to do is sit and enjoy the view. They do some swooping, and a low passes along the ground. Eriape really wants to figure out how to do a loop-de-loop, but so far hasn't. Eventually they approach the complex. 

It consists of a bunch of grubby men and women sorting trash and smelting metal ingots out of the metal bits. There are two guards with rifles and bayonets in black armor, talking into a walkie-talkie, reporting on her and asking for backup.

"Hello! Have you Seen a Black Enamel Sculpture of a Badger? About the Size of a Human Baby? It's a Magic Artifact, and Gold and Jewels on the Inside!"

"No. This is a private operation, go away."

"My Apologies! Would you Like a Gratuity for for the Bother?"

"No need for that."

"People don't want Gratuities! This is a Strange World and No Mistake! Bye Bye!"

She swoops away. 

As one flies towards the vast city it gets busier. More people, doing various things. There are factories and traders and a lot of big vehicles moving around, relatively few permanent constructions.

There is something flying around off in the distance. An enormous metal construct supported on pillars of fire, descending towards one of the groundbound groups.

A few people or vehicles are marked with a golden pig.

"That enormous Metal Construct looks Interesting. Let us Go and Have a Look"

"Weren't we Supposed to be Looking for a Pig?"

"A Pig Man!"

"I Distrust Girls who Dislike Badgers."

She swoops in for a closer look at the giant construct.

"Conn, scope, new contact, visual small, eleven o'clock."

        "Scope, acknowledged. Thermal signature? Speed?"

"Conn, scope, negative thermal, visual contact. Speed, low. Under ten knots. It looks like a flying carpet with someone on it."

        "Some sort of witch, then. Scope, range?"

"Four thousand meters."

                "Conn, helm. Abort landing?"

        "Helm, yes abort. Return to angels five."

               "Helm, aye, angels five."

The engines roar and everyone is pressed into their seats.

       "Radio, transmit a warning. If they don't have a radio, because they're a witch, use the loudspeaker."

"ATTENTION UNIDENTIFIED FLYER. DO NOT APPROACH THIS VESSEL. WE ARE BASTION AIR FORCE CRUISER TWO HUNDRED TWO, B-A-S WHITE GRIFFON. IF YOU APPROACH WITHOUT INVITATION, YOU WILL BE FIRED UPON. WE ARE UNABLE TO RAISE YOU ON RADIO. WE ADVISE RADIO CONTACT FOR COMMUNICATIONS INSTEAD OF APPROACHING."

The vessel's pillars of fire surge brighter and louder, and its descent is arrested, then reversed.

[Mage's Decree (Everyone in the Big Thing)]: Hello! No Worries I'll Go The Other Way Then! Have you Seen a Badger Sculpture of Black Enamel by the Way? I'm looking For It!

It sounds like a strange voice, spoken just next to every single person curently inside the vessel.

"Gah!"

        "Fucking witches. Helm- Wait, that wasn't hostile. Loud, but not an attack."

"Maybe. Could be mental shit. We're going to have to go through screening now. And we'd better report this right away."

        "Yes. Helm, make course for Bastion. Fuck the delivery."

"Helm, aye, course for Bastion."

        "Now how to report this to command..."

The thing begins speeding away towards the city, ponderously at first and then much faster. There is no response.

"Do you Know what Radio is?"

"No but it Might be a Construct Thing! They like making Ugly Constructs here! Also Construct White Griffon didn't Anwer about the Molthune Badger. Rude if you Ask Me!"

"Yes that Was Rude!"

"Let's look at the Shops! They might have New Board Games!"

"Board games are A Boon for those Quiet Evenings in the Lair."

She swoops down towards a trader. 

This trader has an eclectic mix of housewares, food and water, electronic devices, clothes, and whatever else buys or sells well in the Trail, all being sold out of the back of a fold-out truck trailer, like if a food truck was also a convenience store.

Aaaaaaah! Magic. Who the fuck knows how magic works?? She pissed off the Bastards, and then they left, as if they're a little scared of her... He can't get out of this, can he?

Polite smile. "How can I help you, ma'am?"

"I'm afraid I only have these Big Gold Coins." She up an Absalom Pound. It glitters. "Can they Buy things in this Strange Place?"

(How does he know they're actual gold. Maybe they're going to disappear when she's been gone for a week. Maybe they're going to slowly suck the life out of him. Aaaaaaah.)

"...I can exchange gold for Bastion Chits. They're what a lot of people around here use because the people from the city will buy them back sometimes."

(Naturally, he's going to give her a terrible rate given WITCH. But not TOO terrible, lest she become wrathful and come back for revenge...)

"Splendid. Badgers, what do we Want?"

"Board Games!"

"Radio!"

"A Fresh Mole!"

"A Miniature Truck!"

"A Fresh Cat!"

"The Spinny Thing that Blows Air!"

"Right, what of That do you Have?"

"One moment, please!" His voice is a little high pitched.

He considers... Board games, yes, the boxes dirty, but some of them even with all the pieces. He fetches out a selection: Ropewind (tile placement) and Sky Trader (moving your ship around and trying to profit) and Market Street (worker placement) and Royal Smash (deception/assassination game). 29 Chit each.

Radio: Lots of kinds, what does she want to use it for, that affects the price a lot? It could be as low as 20 or up to thousands for a really nice set.

Fresh meat: He doesn't have that. Plenty of frozen, though. 9 Chit a pound.

Toy truck: 5 Chit.

Desk fan: 20 Chit. You'll need a solar panel which is another 40, or it'll stop after a while.

He'll take one Absalom Pound for 150 Chit.

"The Big Rude Construct said to Communicate with Radio. I want a Radio to Communicate!"

"It called itself a White Griffon, but it was Plainly not a Griffon, because it had Dragonfire instead of Wings."

Oh fuck the hell no is he going to help the magic badger lady and her... Pets? Minions? Annoy the Bastion even more.

"That's... A name, not a description. What it is is an air cruiser. Talking to Bastion ships is dangerous to do."

"Oooh! Do the Bastion have Spells like a Song-Sorcerer? Where you Hear them and You become a Mere Pitiful Wretch?"

"Are there Other, less Dangerous Radios?"

"It's... More that if you annoy them too much they'll blow you up. And they don't much care who else they kill in the process. I don't wanna be anywhere near that, no offense."

"Okay, we'll take three Spinny Things, three Sun Panels" (One set for her Badgers, One to take Apart and attempt to Figure Out, and one to Sell Expensively in Absalom), "all three Board Games, and the Tiny Truck."

"Here are Two Gold Coins. We were Advised by a Badger-Hating Lady to Seek out the Pig Man, with the Golden Pig Flag. Was that a Treacherous Trick or merely Good Advice?"

That... Actually adds up to 301 chit, not the 300 he was going to offer for the coins, but quibbling over change does not seem conducive to his health here. 

The desk fans are all mismatched; He's a junk dealer, he doesn't have a hundred identical copies of everything! But the solar panels are all the same, since he actually bought 'em from Bastion.

"...The Golden Sow is a trading and mercenary company? If you're looking for something rare they're not the worst place to start."

Eriape's not that good at mental arithmetic. "Thank You, Good Trader! If you Find a Black Enamel Badger in, I will Buy it For Many Gold." She makes her Big Bag of Money appear, and then disappear again.

She gets the loot, puts it in her Purse, and swoops away.

"Well, Badgers, shall we See the Pig Man?"

"Yes!"

"Okay!"

She swoops down towards the Pig-flagged constructs.

The Golden Sow caravan consists of a large command crawler, a hulking steel construction the size of a large mansion, surrounded by a herd of trucks in varying sizes like a swarm of ducklings.

It was actually awaiting a delivery from that Bastion ship. They're pretty mad. The woman who comes out to harangue her about disrupting their deal is very rude about it and asks what she intends to do to make up for it.

"Oh, I am Sorry. You would Like Compensation? Shall I compensate You or for your Employer Directly?"

A generous enough compensation for the offense and opportunity cost might convince Glenn Barlu to meet her in person.

"Well I can Turn Someone into a Common Badger for him, him if he has Someone to Recommend."

(The woman talking to her looks shocked and a little bit sick. She's obviously communicating with someone, she whispers sharply for a little bit. Eventually, a tad reluctantly,)

"-He thinks that would be very amusing. There's a woman who betrayed us and owes us a lot of money she couldn't ever pay back that he wants to turn into a badger."

"That Seems Sensible as the Common Badger generally cannot pay back Money Either! Where is This Lady?"

Well, the Manager knew what kind of guy she worked for. No room for second thoughts now.

"...In the prison transport. This way."

The Pig Emblem-wearing employees all make way and give them plenty of room. They go to a giant truck, double-wide and running on treads. A woman is brought out from it; Dark-skinned, young, angry, thoroughly chained.

"So, is it finally time to execute me, you pack of robbers and demons?" The prisoner asks, then spits on the ground.

(A Fancily Dressed man with a mask is now watching from a balcony high up on the big walker. A large boar stands next to him, and he idly feeds it and pats it.)

Eriape waves happily to the Pig-Man. "Instead of Execution, you will get the Privilege of Becoming a Badger, Madam! This is a Rare Boon not often Granted Nowadays!" [Eriape's Benevolent Polymorph]

There's small, colorful poof of smoke, and the woman is...a badger.

Editor's Note: This is a variety of Baleful Polymorph that Eriape has developed, which only turns people into badgers. It does, however, allow Eriape to select if the will save to lose your intelligence is required or not

The pig man claps. "Marvelous! Creative disposal is such a wonderful solution to problems such as these! As word of this curse spreads, all will hesitate to double-cross the Golden Sow in future. Come on up for a discussion if you would like, fair mage."

Ah. A witch's curse. Her hatred for Glenn Barlu burns ever brighter, the ember of resentment flaring for long long moments.

Maybe she can run and hide, for now, and sneak into the air vents and bite his throat out in the night.

She will attempt to run away, then.

Eriape's certainly not going to prevent her from Running Away, Badgers are Free Creatures. 

Eriape flies the flying carpet up to where the Pig Man is standing. 

"Hello! I am Eriape, Princess of Badgers!"

Nobody bothers to stop the badger- Well, one person makes a halfhearted attempt to catch her, gets bit on the hand, and gives it up.

"Hello! I am Glenn Barlu, a trader and collector of some means. Welcome, Princess of Badgers. I'm sure whatever you did that spooked the White Griffon's crew is just a big misunderstanding. We can sort it out later, and thank you for helping me start a deliciously frightening rumor. What business are you here for, then?"

He steeples his fingers and leans forward in his seat. His pig companion looks to have some metal bits, on closer inspection. Internal armor?

Eriape also Leans forward, and looks at him with the glowing sparks in her eye-sockets. Is he Magic?

"I am an Undying Lady Wizard, Specializing in the Obverse Power, and I live on Another Plane of Existence! We are Visiting in Order to look for a Lost Magical Artifact!.  It is Called the Molthune Badger, and it may Appear covered in Black Enamel, or in its Original Form, which is Gold and Jewels and Invulnerable."

He is a little bit magic.

'Undying', makes sense, if you can do that of course you will! Another plane of existence? Well, magic is magic, that's why it's terrifying, it's rare but you can never rule anything out.

"Badger... A badger sculpture, invulnerable... I cannot say this is familiar to me. Most things are vulnerable to sufficient force. If you like, I can put out the word that I am looking for any information on this item. The more detail I have on what it may be like and how it can be told apart from fakes, the better."

"That would be Appreciated."

"I would Pay a Substantial Sum in Gold for Information or a Large Sum for the Item itself!"

She thinks for a moment. 

"It is said to be a Statue of a Badger,  Standing on Hind Legs, about the Size of a Human Baby. Obviously Very Heavy, has Black Pearl Eyes, and is covered with Black Jade and Diamonds for Fur and It is said to be the Key to the Summoning of a Certain Powerful Entity."

He writes this down on a very fancy-looking notepad.

"It's nice to work with someone who knows the value of information. I'll arrange for an announcement with my nightly radio show. Would you mind terribly if I said I wanted it for myself? I'm known as a collector of oddities, so it's less suspicious."

"It makes Sense! I am Very Powerful, and Very Rich, and I make Good Magic Items, so I am Reasonably Confident you will want to Sell It to Me if you Find It."

"Magic items sound really quite interesting, what sorts of things do they do?"

"I made Clarabella's Boots! They allow her to Teleport a Thousand Miles in an Instant."

Clarabella lifts each of her four legs in turn, and shows off her yellow leather boots. 

"They are Very Nice for Shopping"

"Wonderful. Boots for teleporting are one of the best possible magic items there can be. I don't suppose I could purchase some for things other than your Molthune Badger?"

"Gold and Jewels always Spend, here as well as at Home! These boots are Difficult to Make! I can Teleport myself but My Lieutenant needs to be able to Run Errands. I am sure You Have the Same Problem with your Pig."

"Oh, yes, I have to employ humans for that and they tend to lie and steal from me. She's brighter than she used to be thanks to some special medicine but not, I think, quite on your friend's level. She can't talk, after all. I'm a bit jealous. I do have some gold. Also a lot of drugs, weapons, and that sort of equipment."

She doesn't roll her eyes only because she doesn't have them. The Pig Man doesn't even have a Talking Pig. 

"As an Undying, We cannot do Drugs! But I have a Spell for it! We should get Down to Business! What is the most powerful Petard you could Obtain?"

"Oh-ho, that would be, depending on perspective and what precisely constitutes a 'petard'... And whether I think I can sell some of the really dangerous pieces without it causing too much trouble. Bastion doesn't like things that can kill their ships being bought and sold, you know? If you're looking for something to kill armored vehicles with, I have some K-B-67 rocket pods. They're designed to explode in such a way as to create a jet of molten metal, penetrating most armor and igniting the juicy innards. They have wire guidance and heat-seeking functionality and a range of up to eight miles, but rockets are possible to shoot down sometimes. If you're looking for a very large stationary bomb we can rig something up with, oh, five or six tons of ammonium-nitrate-oil? That would make a most impressive explosion. If you're looking for a cannon your best bet would be the A-K-493, a auto-cannon that fires a 50mm shell filled with explosives at ninety shells per minute. Complete with turret mechanism it weighs four tons, and the ammunition is heavy as well."

"Armored constructs do not Find much Favor at Home, but your Auto Cannon may be Very useful in dealing with Pesky Adventurers!"

"They're pretty standard around here. I wonder if we could build some badger-sized controls. Usually the A-K would be built into an armored construct of its own, that moves it around and provides the electricity it requires to operate..."

"This seems Highly Suitable! What would you Want for such an Entity?"

"For a light tank with an A-K-493 turret, plus enough fuel to run it for a good long while and some training and operation manuals and spare parts and five hundred rounds of ammunition, a pair of teleporting boots would be a fine trade."

"I would need to Get the Boots before we could Complete our Transaction- I have Human ones in Stock at Home. There are Other things you Might Want. I may be Able to make your Pig Talk. I likewise have a line in Portable Holes, which are Extradimensional Containers."

"We don't need to finalize anything now. There's a lot of details about both our goods to review. The talking magic, for example, would it make dear Sebby smart, or merely provide some sort of translation of animal impulses to words? Portable holes also sound interesting- Transporting things around is most of my entire business when you boil it down."

"It could make her Smarter than the Average Man! Two of my Friends here are Second Circle Wizard Badgers" she gestures. "I would need to Diagnose Her to see if it would be Possible- Regrettably the needed Brain Modifications are Complex and can only Attach and Self-Implement into the brain to a Nonsapient Creature."

"I am fairly sure she is nonsapient, but it sounds like I need to know more about this 'spell' before I can confidently purchase it." Like whether the 'brain modifications' include something for spying or remote control.

(The pig has been staring warily at Eriape and Friends the whole time.)

"In my World there are these specialists in Plants and Animals called Druids, you see. They are generally Reasonable People. I copied from them a Spell called Awaken, which makes an animal smart. Us Wizards are generalists in magic, and can do Anything Worthwhile. I will then Return to you once I have further explored This Place. I believe that I saw a City that I should Investigate before I leave, however."

"Certainly, certainly. That would be the city of Bastion. I don't think they'll like you much, given how you spooked a Bastion warship somehow."

"They had a Very Loud Construct, which is Rude. To Reply I showed them a Spell that instead Spoke to Everyone Individually on the Whole Ship, which is Much More Clever! Do you think the will not Let Me In? We could Teleport there in another Shape."

"Oh, that explains it, they'll be worried you used mind control. Paranoid, the lot of them. They might let you in if you seem useful but they'd watch you carefully. It can be a good deal."

"I shall be Sneaky! I am Very Good at it." She casts a spell.

"See!"

"Oh, impressive, that just leaves the matter of demonstrating valuable skills to them- Magic usually works, if it seems really useful and is not very scary."

The voice is different, but you can still tell it's the same person. "I am certainly not Scary. I will meet you Later then." 

She nods to the Pig Man, and swoops away on her flying carpet.

The wall turret gunners relax considerably.

Bastion's Trail is big. Really really big. There are various scavengers, traders, mercenary gangs, and convoys down below, but the field of waste really is quite titanic.

Margarítē flies up to 10 click height, removes a very expensive makeup mirror from her handbag, and [Scries] Bastion itself.

She sees a vast open hall, heavy machines churning away as they process enormous rolls, billets, and rods of steel. Weary workers attend the machines, watching them and moving metal from place to place. That one punches down with incredible force. That one bends the rod into corners over and over again very fast. That one heats it up. That one cools it down. Several of the workers have injuries, old and new.

It's incredibly, absurdly loud. The end products of this production line appears to be: Heavy iron chain, giant steel cauldrons, glass bottles, and thousands of identical kitchen knives.

"Bottles, eh? Bottles are Boring. Let's get a Construct First. We should arrive at this Bastion in Style."

Does there seem to be any construct sellers? 

There are lots of constructs, most of them a lot like that first girl's "truck", around in different sets of caravans and camps. It's not clear from above if any of them specialize in selling them.

-Wait, that one has a lot broken ones all lined up together. Maybe they repair them.

Swoop! 

Margarítē and all the Badgers get off the Flying Carpet and start looking at the broken constructs. 

The mechanic shop workers are kind of intimidated! They run away. They're not being paid enough for this shit.

That watchtower though. The men in there look very angry.

Margarítē waves to the people in the watchtower. 

"Hello!"

They're repositioning a big box on a tripod with a tube to point towards her.

"Why are you here, witch?"

"I would like to Buy one of those Construct Things with the Wheels, with Room enough for Many Badgers. Are you a Shop?"

"-Oh. For Vance's sake, don't just fly right into the middle of the compound! We thought you were attacking us. Flying over people is a pretty aggressive move! And yeah, we sell and fix vehicles! You want to talk to the boss?"

"Yes, that would be Good!"

She can talk to the boss.

What does she want her vehicle to be like other than 'big enough for her and... However many badgers'?

"All these Badgers." She waves at the dozen badgers around her. "It should be fast, look nice, and be able to drive far. Well functioning. Friendly, if you have any intelligent ones."

The ones that can drive far without constantly needing more burnable fuel are all really expensive. Bastion doesn't throw away radioactives nearly as often as it does stuff that can be turned into burnable liquids.

...But she's in luck**. He actually has a Martos Enrikan smart home here on consignment from someone who does not wish to be named publicly. It's... Probably around as smart as the badgers, which he can hear gossiping (fucking witches, he subvocalizes), but it's reasonably intelligent and there is a strong 'key' to whoever is considered the legitimate owner. It can definitely drive itself, and also aim the onboard gun turrets and tell her everything she needs to do to maintain it. It has a nuclear engine that should be good for around eight years without more fuel rods. It has a cutting-edge suspension to travel at high speed even over rough ground- Up to 120 kilometers an hour* on flat ground. It's lightly armored and about 15 by 40 by 15 on the inside. It's very sleek and shiny.

It's also really really expensive compared to everything else.

*600 feet per round.

**I rolled a 100 on a d100.

"That sounds Just like what we Need. Maybe it counts as an an Ox-Object and we can Plane Shift it Home? We will need to take a Look."

Margarítē casts [Detect Thoughts] on the smart home. 

It's in a different part of the compound with the other expensive vehicles, behind some subtle and some non subtle security. 

The smart home is thinking that it hasn't gotten to go fast in weeks. It doesn't have any food stored either, but at least it can still clean itself. Ugh, abominable dust. It's undignified. Oh. Another prospective buyer. She seems unusual. Talking animals? They're badgers. Hmm. Ah, magic. What does a magic user need that a normal one does not? It's not sure.

"Splendid. How much?"

After carefully measuring her gold pieces-

3500.

"Sold!"

She gets out a Very Large Bag of Money out of her Handy Purse. "How do I Command it?"

They'll take the gold and check it carefully and then come back and speak aloud a very long numerical password and also hand her a physical blue command stick. And now she can just talk to it.

"Welcome, Margarítē," it says, a door opening soundlessly. "How may I help you today?"

It's so nice to have an owner who is likely to GO PLACES again. It wants to DRIVE.

Once she is inside she Reveals that Margarítē is merely an Alias, and that her real name is Eriape! Also she introduces all the Badgers.

And then she asks it to drive to Bastion!

Yes yes yes let's GOOOO. To Bastion! They have some very interesting roads there, lots of verticality!

It starts driving immediately, a smooth acceleration out of the lot.

"May I ask what business you have there? I can do my best to make appropriate arrangements along the way if you wish."

"I have Been Informed that people from Bastion do not Like me because of my Powerful and Interesting Magic and So we're Going there in Disguise! I am Going to Disguise the Badgers to Look like Dogs!"

Disguises, disguises... Where does one get some cloth and prop supplies out here in the wasteland to help with disguises...

"I see. I do have some reference data about dogs seen in Bastion if that would be helpful."

Most of them didn't talk.

"No Disguise them by Magic! I don't Expect you to Help with That Part! What we need to Know is Where to Go in Bastion, and Who to Talk to."

"That does depend on what exactly you want to accomplish. See the sights? Go shopping? Get a job?"

"To Find people who might Know and Speak about the Whereabouts of a Magic Artifact."