"Hello, do you require a bodyguard?"

"Maybe? I'm still... figuring that out, I guess."

"...I'm able to accommodate some reasonable requests for things like the sex and religious persuasion if that's relevant."

Probably she would actually feel more comfortable with a woman bodyguard, except then the bodyguard would probably be worse at fighting, which seems like it kind of defeats the point of having a bodyguard.

In any case that's not the actual issue.

"...well, it's more that — uh, apparently there are a bunch of people who want me dead? And I don't want to just get my bodyguard killed." And also bodyguards are for important nobles who think they're better than everyone else, but there's no way to say that without it sounding stupid.

"...paying someone to defend you is much cheaper than resurrecting you, and this prices in the risk to the bodyguard."

"...but is the bodyguard okay with it? ...or will you bring them back too if we both get killed, if they'll also come back then I'm definitely fine with having a bodyguard."

"Are you trying to tell me you only want a bodyguard if he has his own resurrection insurance? Some of them might but it wasn't a job qualification that the bodyguards already be that rich."

Victòria didn't even know that resurrection insurance was a thing! How would that work?

"...I'm not saying they need to be rich! I just don't want — if someone signed up to be a bodyguard to protect delegates from pickpockets and maybe have a tiny chance of needing to fight a mob, I don't want them to... get stuck defending me? If that's not — I don't know how to explain it better than that."

"These bodyguards were hired mostly in Absalom and Osirion at short-notice rates for defending politically important targets. I don't think they heard that and expected pickpockets."

She doesn't really think she's politically important! She's just a person! 

...probably if they're from other countries she doesn't have to worry about them going to Hell unless they actually deserve to, at least. A bodyguard who did deserve to go to Hell would admittedly also be bad but probably the archmage made sure the bodyguards weren't, like, secretly Norgorber cultists who liked to murder innocent kids. 

"...What are the, uh, religion options? Like you mentioned before."

"I've got a lot of Abadarans, obviously, but there's some people left who listed most other legally permissible deities as their favorites - they're not clerics, any of them, it's just where they go Sundays. You want a Calistrian?"

"A Calistrian would be great if you have one but it doesn't have to be a Calistrian, an Iomedaean would also be fine, or a Desnan, or probably lots of other gods if you don't have any of those." Victòria thinks of Desna as mainly the goddess of travel, but she wants a bodyguard so that she can travel to different places without getting hurt, and Desna's Chaotic Good so there's probably not anything wrong with her.

"Not a Sarenrite and probably not an Abadaran — or, it's fine if they sometimes pray to them, obviously, I'm not that picky." As far as Victòria can tell from what his priests have been saying, Abadar seems to mostly think that you shouldn't stop doing blatantly Evil things because it will make rich people sad. "And not someone who worships, like, Evil gods, or gods that technically aren't Evil even though they live in Hell."

Wow, who has anything against Sarenrae. (He doesn't say that.) "I've got a Calistrian. Oi, Jadon."

Jadon is a half-elf with twin swords on his back. He bows a little. "Avenger. This is my principal?"

"Looks like it."

"Hi! It's, uh, nice to meet you, I'm Victòria."

"Charmed. Anything I need to know about your schedule, lodging situation, scary looking friends who like to greet you with their swords drawn in a deceptively friendly manner, etcetera?"

She glances around to make sure there aren't any other delegates within earshot.

"I've been staying at the temple of Shelyn, one of the other delegates I talked to thought it would be less likely a noble would be willing to just walk into a Shelynite temple and murder me. —Uh, a bunch of the nobles are mad because I helped Valia with her speech. There's also a pamphlet calling for my death but it doesn't have a description of what I look like or anything, they didn't even know my name, just that I was a Calistrian priestess.

My schedule is... I mean, the convention takes most of the day. I was going to go to Lluïsa's office after this but we both got invited to a party so I think we're going to have to reschedule. I didn't really have a consistent thing I was doing in the evenings after the convention, probably it won't be the same thing every day." She'd kind of planned to try going for a long walk every day like the azata suggested, it seemed like the sort of thing that couldn't hurt, but first there was all the rain and then she got arrested and now she might get murdered if she tries.

"And I don't think my — friends — are going to show up and threaten you with weapons or anything. I did get arrested a couple days ago? But they let me go after, I don't think they're going to arrest me again.

Uh, I'm first circle, but I don't know all the spells there are so if there are spells that are helpful for not being murdered I might not think to ask for them. And I channel negative, I'm Chaotic Neutral."

"Well, I'm not going to stop you from getting arrested but anything short of that I should be able to at least slow down. I don't know if Calistria gives out anything special, I used to adventure with a Gorumite, but I can tell you what he used to go for in his first circle slots. I don't know who any of those people are but I can come with you to parties and offices generally speaking."

Nod. "What'd he prepare? ...If I go to meet with someone and I don't want you to listen in can I have you, like, wait outside or something?"

"Yeah, of course you can, maybe with some signal if you don't like how things are going on your side of the door. He liked Shield of Faith and Bane and Divine Favor and summonses. ...and also Compel Hostility but that is not applicable in this situation. Plus if you channel negative you have to prepare your Cures."

Nod. "The signal idea sounds good, do you have a suggestion for what kind of signal to use?"

"We used to do it like, you cast a Light, I hold it, and you cast a new one on your side of the door casual-like if you want me to burst in."

Oh, that's clever, she wouldn't have thought of that. "That sounds good to me. I didn't ask for Light today but I can ask tomorrow."

"You can also just yell," he shrugs.

"Fair enough. Is there anything else we need to figure out now?"

"Are you going to want me to kip near you in the temple, will the Songbirds allow that?"

"I'm not sure. We can ask tonight?"

...Victòria feels kind of nervous about the prospect of sharing her room at the temple with a man she just met, even though he seems perfectly nice. Probably she should get over herself.

"If they don't what hour do you want me to report, half a bell before dawn so I can watch your back when you're at prayer?"

"That sounds good to me."

"Lead the way, then, Avenger."

She heads out of the convention hall.

(She likes him. She really hopes she doesn't accidentally get him killed.)

Desnia wanders in, holding her baby, mostly succeeding at looking confident and not like she’s about to fall over from tiredness.

“Is this where delegates can get bodyguards?” 

"Yes it is, any preferences for yours?"

“So my most substantial safety concern isn’t for myself, it’s for my baby - that’s why I’ve been bringing him into the convention with me every day, but this is distracting for both me and the other delegates. I was wondering if it would be possible to take advantage of the vetting process involved for the bodyguards to assist with childcare, since family members are also under the protection of the archmages and have been resurrected.”

Desnia decided on this angle of approach on the way over. This is just enough like talking her way past checkpoints and guards that it in some ways easier than talking to delegates. It’s even all kind of true.

"...so, the vetting process is that a bunch of people were hired to be bodyguards, in Absalom and Osirion. We didn't vet them for being willing or able to take on babysitting tasks, just for... working for money and having good references from previous clients or party members."

“I know it’s not exactly what they signed up for, but would it be possible to ask and check if any of them would be willing?” 

"What is it exactly you want them to do, hang out with your kid outside the convention till you're done every day?"

“Doesn’t need to be right outside, they can go to the park or a cafe as long as it’s not too far and I know where to look for them during breaks. Anyone who has younger siblings they helped with can probably manage just fine.” 

Desnia herself hadn’t had much to go on besides half recalled memories of younger siblings and some advice from mothers in the towns that she passed through, which mostly seemed to match what she recalled.

Except the other mothers thought she paid too much attention to her baby and should leave him alone to cry more than she did, and that he could sometimes use a light smacking even as a baby. But she suspected those pieces of advice as being Hellish. 

Probably if they’re from Absalom or Osirion they’ll know better what to do about children that isn’t as influenced by Hell so she’ll be able to find out if she’s spoiling him too much? Her parents had been stricter with her and her brothers but probably this was because of the need to keep up appearances? 

"I can ask but I have to say I'm not sure the Archmage will be amused even if somebody's willing to give it a whirl. You can afford to hire somebody yourself, that's the kind of thing the stipend is for."

“Lots of delegates family members have gotten killed already, and raising them was surely more costly than the bodyguards.

If I’m allowed a bodyguard, and the bodyguard is guarding someone who the Archmages would need to resurrect if something happened to them, seems like that’s what they’re for? It’s not like I’m asking for two.

Thanks for asking, I appreciate it.” 

"No, no, I see your argument, but - it's not the same job and it would probably be hard to do the bodyguarding part while holding a baby. I guess maybe there should be... convention daycare... with some of the guards standing watch..." Shrug. "Be right back." He heads over to the pool of bodyguards.

He comes back a bit later with a big Kelesh-looking guy in leather armor with a smile-distorted grey beard. "This is Bijan. Says he has ten grown kids."

"Saving up to marry off the youngest few of 'em," Bijan says. "If this little fellow eats solid food we'll get along fine, I think."

Desnia smiles at both of them. 

She does not comment about the marrying off, though she does wonder about exactly what he means by that. She vaguely recalls that Osirion is - bad about women being free - though she doesn't remember exactly what that means. Probably it doesn't change much about babies, and her baby is a boy anyway. 

"Pleasure to meet you, Bijan. He can eat some solid foods, I've been giving him bits and pieces of whatever I'm having and he's been mostly taking to that fine, as long as the pieces are little enough." 

He probably would have been fine without her using a cure the one time that she didn't make the pieces quite little enough, but he was better at eating solids now anyway. 

"I can come out and check on him during breaks the first day, see if you're having any trouble."

"Sure. You don't need me outside convention hours?"

She quickly considers. 

Bijan seems - fine, safe - but not so much so that she wouldn't be more stressed with him following her around than she'd be on her own. 

Probably less likely to run into trouble from using the guards in a way that she isn't supposed to if she's also using them less than she could? Hard to say. 

"I think I can protect both of us just fine outside convention hours, though I might be at the convention late in committee meetings if I'm joining more now. I'll let you know if that changes or if I'm doing something that might be slightly riskier than my usual activities."

"All right. Where should I meet you in the morning?"

Desnia describes a spot in the park that it'd seemed her little one had liked earlier. "Or you'd maybe prefer to spend your day in a cafe if the weather is poor, but I'm not sure which one is safest or most comfortable for sitting in all day." 

"Oh, I'll probably want to bop around between the park and a cafe but we should pick a specific place for the handoff so you're not kept late looking for me."

"Let's do the handoff in the spot in the park then - and which cafe do you think you'll be at, if you're not at the park? I'm fine checking both the park and a cafe since I'm not sure when I'll be done, but I don't want to try to check every possible cafe." 

"I got teleported here this morning, I don't know the restaurants yet. We can go find a suitable one now if you wish."

She is so so so tired and she wants this conversation to be done with and she wants bask in the success of free childcare and conversations that feel tricky to get right but in a more familiar way than politics. But it's probably important to figure out where she'll be able to find her child after leaving him with a stranger all day. 

She tries not to let the exhaustion and irritability into her voice. She probably succeeds. 

"Ah, that makes sense. I also haven't explored the city much yet, I came here for the first time just as the convention was starting and I left right after the riots and only got back in last night, and otherwise have been at the convention. Let's look around for a suitable one now if that works for you." 

"Certainly."

There's a lot of cafés near the convention hall. It's not too hard to pick one that is still open at this hour.

"Anything else we should work out tonight? If not, I'll meet you in the spot in the park tomorrow morning half an hour before the convention begins." 

"I think we're all set for tonight. I'll see you in the morning."

And Desnia departs. 

He feels a little silly, given how many much more fragile people there are in this convention. But on the other hand, he has been called out and recognized, and really at the moment he has more uncertainty about whether he likes where's he's going than he'd like. He talks himself around after a while.

"Hello. You're providing bodyguards to delegates?"

"That's right, any preferences for details?"

"I'm a wizard and a priest - third circle and second - but I had a mob specifically after me last week so I'm not secure in that. I'd say what I most need is someone good at catching incoming threats early, and able to screen me long enough to cast."

"You want to rule in or out any religions - no priests in the bunch but they go somewhere Sundays, most of them -"

"Not a priority. Not having a problem with my god is. Unless you have Rahadi types who hate all gods, we'll get on fine if you do."

"I do have one of those, actually, I wasn't going to suggest him as you're a cleric..."

"Send him out and we'll see whether he's okay with it?"

"Mm-hm." Off he goes, comes back with a tall guy with a broken nose. "This is Surond."

Surond nods at him.

"I hear you don't like gods, and I have one, but hear me out. I was a professor in Azir for years, and might head back there soon, if She has been fucking with me from the beginning in ways I maybe should have checked. I still hate the whole system but she broke it hard enough to make Pharasma mad, and it turns out respecting that enough got me two cleric circles. Hate me yet?"

"If I hated people for getting fucked around with by gods I wouldn't have taken a job in Cheliax, sir, it's just that's probably what's happening here."

"Could be. She's Lawful Neutral, which I think means something, but Iomedans said maybe I should check and, you know, they have a point. She's Erecura - hubris, giving advice, carving out space in nasty systems for you and yours. But - according to the story I found in every library I checked - she's condemned to Hell anyway, because Pharasma's a bitch. You going to hate guarding me while I stick with her?"

"Nah, job's a job and it's not like I want you dead over it, sir."

"Yeah, alright. I'm not worried inside the convention hall, but time runs long so probably better to set a time where either I meet you at the door or you find me in the committee rooms. I'll give you my home address, it's not a temple anymore, we set a time for that as well. Anything else?"

"Do you want me spending overnights there in case something comes up in the night?"

"You're welcome to, I have a spare room. It did used to be a temple and you'd be in what was servant's quarters." Slave's quarters but he outfitted them better than that suggests. "I'm not so worried I'll insist, though; I'm concerned more by ambushes."

"If it's all the same to you I do hear it's rough trying to get an inn in Westcrown lately."

"Well enough, and yes, it's been tricky particularly on the island. I suppose we can head there now, then?"

"Yes sir."

Then out they will head, with a polite nod to the guy doing the arranging.