A small group of people are sitting at the corner table, talking and laughing, the topic drifting from a hypothetical froghopping competition to everyone's opinions on the new barman.

"I'm just saying I could totally take him in a fight," says a redhaired woman. Most of the table laughs in response, but one man at the table looks exasperatedly at her. "Carm, can we talk about something else, you sound like —" Sadness flashes across his face, and he finishes lamely, "like someone I don't want to listen to."

"As you wish, my lord." She draws out the title in a singsong tone, then grins at the others and adds, "I totally could, though."

"You could not," one of the others responds, and the discussion starts back up. The man makes a show of leaving the table to plop down at the neighbouring one, which conveniently has an empty chair. He grins at his new tablemate. "Hi, stranger! Bet you're a better conversation partner than my friends."

He smiles but doesn't look up. "Hi! I might be, it probably depends on what you want to talk about." Hopefully you don't want someone who can look in your eyes, he doesn't add, his fingers instinctively reaching for his necklace.

The hand movement draws Nico's attention, and he notices the necklace, the circular pendant with a smaller, darker circle inside. 

"...oh." You don't see those everyday, end yet everyone knows they mean. Nico's voice is quieter and more serious as he continues, careful not to look at the man's eyes. "Someone get murdered, or...?" That's usually the reason shamers visit Dunark, after all. That or someone with a surname got burgled, but he would've heard about that.

"No. It's -- no." 

It's probably a bad idea to tell a stranger the full story.

"Nothing like that. Don't -- don't worry."

He's already failing at having a conversation, isn't he.

"...good." A friendly smile returns to his face. "Guess you're just visiting, then? Not sure there's much to see here."

Nico has no idea where this is going, but he's the one who started this conversation, it's sort of on him to keep it flowing. Plus, this guy must get plenty of awkward silences already, shamers tend to weird people out. He'll try not to add to the total.

"I'm Nico, by the way."

...should he maybe not be avoiding his eyes this much, having everyone look away as soon as they notice probably gets tiring too.

It's supposed to be pretty painful, though. 

Other parts of the face are probably safe. He looks at the man's forehead.

"Something like that, yeah."

It is almost certainly still a bad idea to tell a stranger the full story, even if the stranger is friendly and willing to keep talking with him despite the necklace.

"I'm Timon. It's a weird name, I know, but so were my parents -- I mean, they were weird. They weren't weird names, seeing as how names aren't people."

...It's starting to feel even less like he's succeeding at his part of having a conversation. Oops. Maybe he can change the subject.

"Do you live around here, then?"

Nico can so sympathize with having a weird name. At least his can be shortened to something normal, so he can get through a conversation without people getting all weird and deferential and scared, even, some of them.

But he can't mention that without having to explain why the Ravenna heir is sitting in a random tavern, and that's not a very flattering story, having to explain just how useless he is. Better just be Nico no-last-name, for now.

"Yeah, lived in Dunark my whole life." No need to specify where in the city. "What about you, I guess you must travel a lot, with the..." He gestures at the necklace.

He can see the gesture even while looking down.

"I used to." Maybe he won't ask for an explanation. "I'm originally from a pretty small town, though. Nothing particularly notable about it."

That's a strange enough answer that Nico doesn't notice the other man's discomfort over his own confusion.

"Used to?"

"I, uh, I." He bites his lip. "I, uh, wasn't very good at my job."

Nico isn't going to want to talk to him anymore, is he, not after he hears the explanation. 

"I thought you just look at people and that gets you all the information you need?"

"That's generally how it works, yeah -- occasionally there are edge cases with how the magic chooses what to show you but those're really rare." Maybe Nico won't ask the obvious follow-up question.

He notices the discomfort, this time. 

"— we don't have to talk about if you don't want to, I was just confused about how you can really be bad at that..." His voice peters out as he realizes that whatever this is about, that's probably a supremely unhelpful thing to say. It's not like he doesn't know how it feels to have people marvel at your incompetence.

"It's -- it's not -- you can ask about it if you want, it's just--" I don't want you to think less of me "--it's, uh," it's probably better if he finds out now, "maybe we should talk about something else."

...He is definitely not succeeding at having a conversation. In fact, he's pretty sure he's doing the opposite of that.

"Oookay..." Thinking of a different conversation topic is hard, though.

His hands fidget as he racks his brain. Favourite... food? No, that's what little kids ask each other about when they awkwardly practice having real conversations... Travel stories? No, normal people don't just pop off to the Magdan Coast...

The silence is broken by the redheaded woman at Nico's usual table, who half-shouts to be heard. "Hey! Ravenna! My beer's broken!" She grins widely as she holds up an empty glass.

Nico turns around in his chair to roll his eyes exaggeratedly. "And what do you want me to do about that, after you banished me from the table?" 

"Hey, not my fault you're so damn sensitive. And anyway, we're just playing dice now, you can come back and join us." She wiggles the glass, smirking. "After you've fixed this."

Nico sighs, finds a coin in his pocket, and holds it out. "I'm not picking it up for you, Carm." 

She gets up, snatches the coin, and walks toward the bar.

...she just called him by his last name, didn't she.

He blinks.

"Ravenna?" he says softly. "I'm so sorry, I didn't realize--"

"There isn't anything to realize, there's a — a reason I just go by Nico, most of the time, people get weird, and —" and it's not like I've earned any of it, if I'd had to try I never could've, I'm not good at any of it — but Erasmos is dead and I'll have to do it anyway and I'll mess it up and the whole city will fall into chaos and —

The thought pattern is worn deep into his brain. Tends to continue like that for a while.

He needs something to do, something to distract, so he grabs his beer and empties the glass. 

Even without looking at him properly, it's not hard to tell that Nico's upset.

"I'm -- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get weird--" 

He pauses and takes a deep breath.

"I can -- I can try not to treat you any differently, Nico? If that's what you want? --I'm getting weird, aren't I, I'm sorry."

Deep breath. Deeeep breath. 

He just made this a lot weirder than it was already, didn't he. He's so useless, can't do anything right, and Erasmos is dead and Dunark'll get invaded and — Shut up, thoughts. Back to this disaster of a conversation.

"No, it's — it's fine, I'm sorry. I just — I'm not any good at my job either."

He fidgets with the glass for a bit, before he remembers an earlier part of the conversation.

"But yeah. Nicodemus Ravenna." Small smile. "That's way weirder than yours."

He giggles (is he being rude, giggling when a Ravenna talks about -- he said he wouldn't treat him differently).

"Do you want to talk about it? --It's okay if you don't." What is he doing, Nico clearly doesn't want to talk about it.

"...I don't know if there's much to say, just, if my father dies in the next decade and a half, I get Dunark? And I'll probably mess up and get us invaded, or it'll descend into anarchy?"

Dunark needs a strong ruler, his father had always said, looking proudly at Erasmos.

"Do you think you'd be an unusually bad ruler or something?"

Wait, that probably sounded insulting, didn't it. Great job, Timon.

"Well, to quote my father..." Nico's voice goes flat. "We are beset on all sides by enemies. If you won't even keep the Gelters in check, if you are not willing to defend every square foot of farmland with your life, then the moment I die you will lose it all. Solark will hear about your weakness, and they'll take our city, our castle, our legacy. And they'll slaughter every single soul who's brave enough to resist, same way they did in Eidin."

He's gotten these lectures a million times, he knows the phrasings his father uses. And they only got burned deeper into his brain when he found out Marlin agreed.

"And, well, I'm. Pretty useless with a sword."

Surely Nico's personal skill with swordfighting can't be the relevant factor, can it, he's one person--

Oh. Oh.

What should he say? 'I'm sorry that your father wants you to become a murderer' is too risky if his guess is wrong, as is anything that directly challenges the claim.

"I'm sorry that he's ... like that," he eventually settles on, trying to leave it just ambiguous enough what he's referring to. I know how you feel, he doesn't add.

"It's not really his fault the world works like that. I mean, the legacy stuff's garbage, but — a Solark invasion would genuinely be pretty bad for a lot of people? But sending out the army would be... even worse, for everyone who gets killed. And either way every single death would be my fault..."

"And that's one of the easier examples, if people steal it's usually because they're hungry, if they revolt they usually have a point, but you still need to send in the guards and let them... do their thing... because otherwise a whole lot of people will just stop following the law? And I'm not sure my father always makes those tradeoffs the best way but at least he makes them, and that's probably better overall, but even knowing that I don't think I could ever..."

He sighs. "My brother could, but. I guess you know what happened."

He kind of wants to give Nico a hug.

"I-- I know I'm not" a Ravenna "your father, but -- maybe everyone could use more rulers who don't go around killing people."

(Did he just insult Nico's father? That might have been a bad idea.)

"And I'm sorry about your brother." If he weren't already looking down he'd have started to when he said that last sentence.

The first part — that just sounds like the kind of empty words you'd say to make someone feel better. A nice gesture, maybe, but it's not going to work unless it's a little less transparent. No reason to respond to it.

The comment about Erasmos, though — Nico's voice goes quiet. "I don't actually miss him that much. As a person, I mean." He's silent, for a little while.

"It's just — everyone knows it would've been better the other way around. Most people might be too polite to say it to my face, but..."

(His father isn't one of those people. He said it, after the funeral.)

(Oh no, he made Nico sad.)

"No it--" he literally just said that that's what people claim, and that it isn't true "--I know this is what everyone says, but it wouldn't be good if you were dead, that's awful." Not that it would be good if anyone else was dead either. 

He touches three fingers to his temple and takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry, I know I'm repeating the same thing everyone else says, I know you have no way of telling this apart from that," I'm sorry I can't make you feel better, "I-- I'm probably making things worse. Sorry."

Small smile, and a reflexive attempt at eye contact. "I think it'd take a little more than words to make this situation worse. Especially because — that's not in fact what everyone says. Even the nice ones, it's all 'I hope you can live up to his legacy' and pointed stares when I come here for the fourth time in a week because I can't stand being in the castle and it's not like it matters, anyway, it's not like I can fix it." 

Carmian doesn't do that, but she doesn't really care about him either. Just enjoys spending Ebenezer Ravenna's money.

It's kind of nice talking to someone who cares enough to try.

He flinches, slightly, at the attempt at eye contact. He doesn't want to hurt Nico.

Everyone Nico knows is terrible. He probably shouldn't say this, since most people don't like it when you point out that everyone they know is terrible, but it would be easier not to say it if if weren't true.

"It doesn't sound like even the 'nice ones' are very good at being nice," he settles on at last, his best attempt at neutrality. "Although maybe they are in comparison." It's not like the people he knew back home would have been any better.

...That probably still sounded insulting. He should really stop insulting everyone Nico knows.

Well, it's not like they both need to be careful, and it feels weird to stare at someone's forehead for a whole conversation.

"Marlin is. — my old teacher," he adds when Timon doesn't recognize the name. "Used to get really offended on my behalf when — when things happened."

"He just. Also thinks it's my responsibility? To try to be what they want me to. To take all my power and wield it for good." You could make Dunark so much better if only you'd try. They'd had a big fight over that, two years ago. Hadn't spoken since.

"I don't think he was wrong, exactly. I just — couldn't do it anymore."

He does actually support Nico wielding his power for good, should he take the throne; at the very least it's probably better than him using it for other purposes. On the other hand, he's skeptical of the conception of good apparently held by everyone else Nico knows, and especially skeptical of the idea that being what Nico's relatives want him to and wielding his power for good are at all compatible. Either way, he doubts that he can communicate this without sounding just like Marlin.

"That sounds-- I'm sorry." He should probably come up with something other than that to say, he's been saying it an awful lot.

"Do -- a decade and a half, you said? -- do you think it's likely it'll end up being you?" No, wait, that's worse, he's going to make Nico sad again. "--You don't have to answer that if you don't want to."

"Maybe? I didn't think so, but I didn't think I'd ever be named the heir, either, so."

"And the decade and a half — that's if Erasmos' kid turns out to be good at this. And — on one hand I hope he will, of course, but — it's not exactly fair to put that kind of pressure on a three-year-old?"

That's — really not fair, actually. It is incredibly, astonishingly unfair, and everyone's probably been doing it while Nico —

Maybe it does matter whether he acts like a proper heir, even if he'd still be a shitty ruler.

"Poor kid," he says softly, unaware of Nico's thoughts.

(He knows what it's like to lose a parent. He can't imagine what it would be like to lose a parent so young, and that's without being surrounded by constant pressure to become the sort of person Nico's father apparently wants his heirs to be.)

"...I should go back, shouldn't I? To at least — look like I'm trying?"

It won't be fun, but he did it for 18 years, he can do a few more. For Bian.

He is so incredibly unqualified to give advice about this. 

He rubs his forehead. "I don't -- I don't know," he says. "But -- you know a lot more than I do, and I -- trust your judgment, probably." He rubs his forehead again, because he doesn't know what else to do. "But -- no matter what you do, he'll be under a lot of pressure. But that doesn't necessarily mean it isn't the right thing to do. --But you also matter, and... I don't know." And maybe the kid could use a role model who's less enthusiastic about murdering people.

He pauses. "If I were the kid, I'd want you in my life. But I'm not -- and I don't know what the kid would want, and there's not a good way to find out--"

(He's pressuring Nico, isn't he.)

"But it's up to you, I -- you probably know what's best here." He already said that.

Well, Nico isn't exactly qualified for this either, that's the whole problem.

(Timon's saying he trusts his judgment. Why.)

That said, even he can see that forcing a small child to deal with any more of this than absolutely necessary would be really really awful.

(He's spent the last few months doing exactly that. Excellent judgment, right there.)

He makes a confused face when Timon talks about Bian maybe wanting him around. "I — don't see why he'd care about that? It's not like I was super involved in his life and then disappeared, he's not missing me or anything... "

"...anyway. I — I think I should. Go back and keep everyone off Bian's back. It really isn't fair to him otherwise."

He nods, to the extent that that's possible without risking eye contact.

 "It's -- my grandfather on my mother's side died a couple years before I was born. Not knowing him didn't feel like anything when I was little, but now -- it's not that I miss him, exactly, I never met him, but -- I wish I could have. And sometimes people would tell me that they wished he were there to explain something to me, or teach me how to do something --" 

He's pressuring Nico again, and he's not even pressuring Nico with something particularly relevant.

"--I'm sorry, that doesn't have much to do with your situation. Anyways, he might -- realize that he'd rather have had you in his life than not, even if he doesn't have a preference now. --I'm sorry, I know I'm not making much sense -- anyways, you're the one who knows him, and you're the one who knows the rest of your family. If you think you should go back you're probably right. But of course that's not exactly fair to you, it's not like you asked for the job of protecting him. But -- maybe it's still the right thing to do."

(He's doing a really bad job of not pressuring Nico.)

"I'm sorry you didn't get to meet your grandfather, then, but somehow I don't think anyone involved would be talking about me that positively. — but that's okay, I'm going to do it anyway." Smile. "Thanks for helping me talk it through."

...so the next step now would be to get up from this chair and start walking, wouldn't it. But Timon's only visiting, what if — oh, right, he could just ask about that.

"I haven't actually asked how long you're staying in Dunark, though, if you're leaving in the morning I can stay here a little longer, I really don't think half an hour is going to matter either way, and — and I kinda like talking to you."

"Glad I could help you out." He smiles. "I ... hadn't actually figured out how long I'm staying for. Probably a couple more days at least, though." Wow, fantastic planning, Timon.

...He also hasn't figured out where he's staying tonight, but he doesn't need to admit that to Nico.

"I'd be happy to stay and talk either way, but if you need to get going that's totally fine, it's getting pretty late." He pauses. "I like talking to you too." You're really nice -- no, don't say that, it'll sound stupid.

"As I said, I really don't think it's going to make a difference."

Okay, now he's got to actually start talking about something or there's going to be a really awkward silence.

There is a bit of an awkward silence.

"...so, I guess we've talked mostly about me so far, sorry about that, uh, what about you, I never even found out why you're in Dunark...?"

He sighs. "So, you remember how I, uh, wasn't very good at Shamer duties? It turns out that that's ... not the sort of thing that makes most people particularly happy with you. It was fine for a while," until his mother died, but he doesn't particularly want to bring that up "but eventually I decided it would be a good idea to be ... somewhere people don't know me. And I wasn't really sure how to figure out where to go, so eventually I wound up here. It's not like there are a lot of Shamers here or anything, but random people on the street don't know me, they aren't going to recognize me as that specific Shamer."

"...what did you do?"

Nico is going to hate him forever, this is terrible--

Okay, focus. He takes a deep breath. "So. Um."

(Why does he care so much if Nico hates him? If Nico decides he never wants to talk to him again then they probably weren't particularly compatible in the first place.)

He takes two more deep breaths, for good measure. "So the thing is, most of what they bring you in for when you're a Shamer is the really big stuff, right? The sort of thing where you'll be in huge trouble if you actually did it." He pauses. He takes another breath. "And-- I knew they'd done it, but -- they were going to get executed if I said so -- I couldn't just let them die." 

...oh.

That is possibly the most reasonable thing Nico has ever heard.

He just sits there, for a moment, staring at Timon.

Oh no, Nico isn't saying anything, he knew Nico was going to hate him--

"--If you don't want to keep talking to me I completely understand--"

" — what, no, I — of course I want to keep talking to you, that's — that is the most compassionate thing you could've ever — "

"I -- I wasn't sure -- most people don't see it that way--" He smiles. "Thanks, though, it's -- really nice to talk to someone who sees it that way."

" — I mean, it might still be bad on net? I feel like we've established that I'm not very good at figuring out that stuff, but — just having it occur to you makes you so much kinder than most other people? And then to actually follow through, to have enough conviction to actually do that — "

There is so much admiration on Nico's face right now.

He catches some of Nico's expression from the corner of his eye. It's -- really nice, actually.

(Nico is complimenting him. How are people supposed to respond to compliments?)

"Thanks. That -- means a lot to me."

They chat for a little longer, but eventually he can't justify it anymore. He needs to seem responsible, now.

"I really do need to get back at some point." He doesn't want to stop talking to Timon, but this is more important than what he wants. 

Then it occurs to him that he can maybe stretch this a little longer. "...it's a bit of a walk to the castle, though — you could keep me company while I walk, maybe? If you want?"

"Oh! Yeah, of course, I'd love to."

As they walk through the city, Nico points out some buildings and landmarks. The market square, almost empty at this hour. The tailor his family uses, not that he's been to her store often, his father usually summons her to the castle. The great square, where all the big ceremonies happen, where Erasmos and Adela were presented to the people the day after their wedding. (It's also where any important executions happen, but Nico's trying to keep this conversation pleasant.)

"And over there is Eleanor's apothecary, she's Marlin's niece, helps people who are sick or hurt." A small house is visible behind a white garden wall, surrounded by all kinds of medical plants and herbs. "Marlin used to take me here, sometimes, we'd sit under the big willow tree and I'd practice reading."

The castle's getting pretty close, now.

"That sounds really nice." He yawns. "Sorry if I'm not very coherent, I don't normally stay up this late."

"Oh! Sorry, I — should let you get back to — to wherever you're staying, then — it's been really nice talking to you, though, I hope we see each other again sometime — "

"I'll -- I can walk you the rest of the way, it's not that far -- if you want -- either way I hope so too."

He should probably have figured out where he was staying before coming to the tavern. Then again, if he'd done that, he might not have run into Nico.

"It's right over there, I don't really think it makes a difference." Besides, he's trying to look proper, it's probably better not to bring random tavern people to where every castle guard can see. — not that it's like that, but still.

He feels like he needs to say something more, or do something, but he's not sure what more there is to say without repeating himself. "So. Um. Goodbye?"

"Goodbye! Have a good night."

He waits until Nico is out of sight, then goes to look for an inn that's still renting rooms at this hour.

It takes a little searching, but this one seems open! The innkeeper asks a pretty steep price, at first, but then he sees the shamer necklace and lowers it to something more reasonable.

He feels a little bad about accepting the discount, but not bad enough not to accept it; he doesn't know how long his money will last.

Over the next few days, Nico steps back into the role of Ebenezer Ravenna’s son. It involves a lot of talking to people with surnames while pretending to be something he’s not, and it involves a lot of tolerating his father, but at least his old swordmaster’s moved far away from Dunark. And so instead of having to deal with her teaching methods he gets to just do drills by himself, hoping with all his heart that he’ll somehow never need to use these skills.

He tries to keep an eye out for Bian, too, to maybe build a relationship like Timon said he should. It’s not easy to get any alone time with the kid, though — he and Adela barely ever leave each other’s sight. Which seems like a pretty reasonable reaction to losing a parent and a husband, respectively, so Nico leaves them alone for the time being. He’ll have time later, when they’re not grieving quite as much.

He considers visiting Marlin, but then dismisses the idea. What would he even say? ‘Sorry I didn’t listen to you, sorry I spent the last two years doing literally nothing of value, sorry this is all an act and I’m still going to mess everything up if any kind of actual power falls on me…’

Like everyone in the castle, Drakan notices the change. Notices the way Nicodemus is taking back the power he threw away, the power any sensible person would do anything to win — and Drakan also notices the way he sighs and makes faces whenever no one important is watching, the way he’s clearly hoping they’ll all pat him on his head for this great big sacrifice he’s making.

It was grating when the ungrateful coward was seven, and it’s even more grating now that he knows. If only his mother had been a little more strategic, or his father a little less — but it won’t matter, soon.

His old plan will still work, with a few minor adjustments.

Nico catches Erasmos’ old friend Drakan glaring at him a few times, but he doesn’t think much of it — he’s never been very friendly towards Nico, and he’s not exactly the only one doing it.

That night, a small contingent of soldiers returns triumphant from the swamps west of Dunark, having successfully subdued some rebellious Gelters. Ebenezer Ravenna orders a celebratory feast. Occasional feasts are an important tool to keep up morale, he explains to Nico, even if the sloppy drunkenness is galling to anyone with a drop of good blood in their veins. He says this last bit with a pointed glare.

The food is, of course, delicious, and servants make sure to keep everyone’s cups full of Magdan wine. Nico sits with his father at the head table, smiling stiffly as the commander relates every blow of every fight, all proud that the “ringleaders” and half their families were all wounded sliced up killed — and the detail and the sheer amount of joyous pride on the commander’s face makes Nico want to stand up and scream, to force them all to take this seriously. But that wouldn’t actually help anyone, what’s done is done, and they’re probably right that after this it’ll be years before someone dares rebel again, and Dunark needs to seem strong, and — so instead, Nico empties his cup in an attempt to quiet the screaming inner voice a little, to help him ignore the commander.

He ends up doing that several times, throughout the evening.

When all the courses have been served and eaten, Nico stumbles and sways getting up from his chair, earning a withering glare from his father. Maybe if he slinks away quietly that’ll be the end of it, it’s not like anyone else in the room is going to notice.

...no, his father meets him in the hallway, grabbing his arm. “What are you doing, stumbling off like that. I’ve told you time and time again how a proper Ravenna must always be fully in control in front of his people. And yet you insist on acting like this.” 

Even with his inhibitions lowered drastically, Nico knows better than to talk back to his father. So he just stands there, trying very hard not to sway, as his father continues. 

“I thought for a moment you’d finally started to see your destiny, to at least try to fill Erasmos’ shoes. But you can’t control yourself for even one evening. I don’t know what the gods were thinking when they took him from me and left you.” He glares at Nico for a few seconds longer, then turns abruptly, stalking back towards his seat. 

When Nico gets to his room, there's a bottle of whisky on his table. He takes a few gulps. It’s not like it matters now.

The bottle's contents are a little stronger than whisky, and Nico barely has time to stumble onto his bed before falling into a very deep sleep.

It’s time.

He’s known for months that this day was coming, but now that it’s here he’s feeling surprisingly apprehensive. Not about Ebenezer and not about Nicodemus — they’ve both had this coming for decades — but Bian is innocent, and it is unfortunate that the only way to his goal goes through that kid.

 — oh, of course. It's been a while since his last dose.

He takes a swig from his flask of dragon's blood and feels the courage return. It all becomes simple, again. The child, like Nicodemus, is in his way. Soon, neither of them will be. It's so easy he can't help laughing, a little.

Tomorrow he'll have what should've been his.

The next morning, a servant walks toward the Ravennas’ living quarters on the third floor. It’s early, but the little lord Bian hasn’t been sleeping well since the lord Erasmos died, and someone needs to keep him entertained so the lady Adela can stay asleep until a slightly more civilized hour. 

As she gets closer, she notices the unusual quiet. Maybe the little lord is still asleep, then, but she’d better continue on to their room and check properly.

She rounds the final corner in the corridor.

And sees the bodies.

She screams.

Nico sloooowly becomes half awake. His head hurts like hell. ...there's also a strong metallic smell. That's weird. He should maybe investigate that, but the light’s way too bright even with his eyes closed, and his body feels very heavy, and he was having such nice floaty dreams. So he goes back to sleep, instead.

The next time he wakes up, it’s because someone’s screaming. Nico opens his eyes and then immediately regrets it as the light intensifies his headache. Still, he needs to find out what’s going on, if someone needs his help, so he gets up and goes to open the door. On the way, he stumbles over — is that a sword? — but he quickly regains his balance and throws open the door. 

What he sees is — 

He takes in the entire scene at once. The door to his father's bedroom, ajar. His father, slumped over his table, covered in the blood from dozens of wounds. And Adela and Bian, lying in the corridor, fewer wounds but bloody all the same, throats messily slit. They've all been wounded sliced up killed — 

who — who could've done something like this — 

He looks up at the servant, wanting to ask, to find out — but her eyes are full of fear and she makes the sign of protection against her chest, backing away while staring horrified at Nico, a small and shaky voice forming the words "please... please don't..."

He doesn't understand, what is she — 

And that's when he notices his hands.

They're covered in blood.

There was a sword in his room.

He can’t quite remember how last night ended. But he knows he was angry at his father.

The castle guards arrive and grab Nico just as he makes the obvious connection.

The castle's in disarray as more people wake up. Nobody's quite sure who they should report to, now. Someone suggests that all the staff should gather in the great hall, figure out how best to proceed. 

And so a shocked cook walks down the streets of Dunark, on her way to inform the city guards. Her mind is too busy racing to pay very much attention to anyone else, and she almost walks into a passing stranger. She looks up at him as her mouth forms an automatic "I'm sorry, sir, so sorry - "

She notices his necklace. "Oh, you're a - " She clasps her hands together and looks up at the sky. "Thanks the gods."

That's -- no matter why, exactly, this stranger is glad to see him, it can't be good.

"What happened?"

"It's — they're all — they're dead, and nobody knows what to do, and — and Abby was the one who found them, and I know how she adored that boy, I really really hope she'll be okay —"

"Oh no-- I'm so sorry-- where do I-- can you show me where to go?"

She points at the castle. "Um, it's in the — they've put him in the dungeons, I think —"

The castle--Nico lives in the castle--

(Lived in the castle? Was Nico among the victims-- please, no-- but that's selfish, it's not like it's okay to murder anyone else--)

"Okay-- let's go-- I'm so sorry--"

"I — I actually need to go tell the city guards — but you can find it yourself, right — "

(of course he can, it's visible from a mile away.)

"Yes-- will they let me in if I'm alone--"

(Almost certainly, but he doesn't know for sure what their emergency procedures are like; they might be refusing anyone entry, just in case.)

"I... don't see why not? Why would you keep a shamer out when something horrible like that has just happened?"

(She's a cook, she's never needed to know any emergency protocols beyond "do what the guards say". But why would they keep out a shamer.)

"I'll be there as fast as I can."

He takes off towards the castle, doing his best to dodge anyone else on the streets.

The gate is closed. Two guards stand outside it, both trying to look just as authoritative as they would on any other day. They can't let people know, not yet, not when they don't even know who rules the city.

As Timon approaches, one raises his voice. "Halt! State your purpose."

"I-- someone said to come here-- I think she was from here-- I'm a Shamer--"

"Oh." He glances at the other guard. "Yeah, we definitely need you, then."

He opens the door. "Come with me."

The first thing he does when they enter the courtyard is find someone else to take his place at the gate, but then he leads Timon into the main building and down the stairs.

He follows the guard.

The dungeons are dark, lit only by a few small windowholes high in the walls. Most cells are empty, and the place stinks of vomit. A guard looks confusedly at Timon and his companion, who explains in low tones that this shamer showed up at the gate, wanting to help. 

"He's over there," the dungeon guard says as he points to a cell. In it, someone is lying down, curled up on the floor, facing away from the door. In the low light, it might take a few moments to notice that their previously white shirt is spattered with blood.

He peers into the cell. From where he's standing, he can just make out some of the person's features. He's going to need to get closer.

He takes a few steps towards the cell.

It's Nico, oh gods, it's Nico--

why--

--Nico--

He draws in his breath sharply and barely manages to stop himself from saying Nico's name.

(He'd seemed so nice when Timon had met him--

--but he'd known Timon was a shamer, and Timon had said he would be staying a few more days, and maybe the sort of person who would-- the person from the castle had said "they all" were dead but he doesn't know who's included in that "all"-- maybe the sort of person to murder their entire family is also the sort of person to befriend the nearest shamer beforehand and pretend not to be that sort of person at all--

--it's not like he'd necessarily be able to tell if someone were lying to him, not when he can't even make eye contact--

--only one way to find out.)

"You're going to need to turn around so I can see you properly." No need for anything stronger than that yet.

They're dead. They're dead and he did it. The scene is burnt into his mind's eye, the way his father was slumped over his desk covered in half-dried blood from his gut his side his neck, the way Adela laid on the floor, curled up as if to protect the baby that’d never be born, now, her face smashed — and Bian —

And their blood is on his hands. And his arms. And all over his shirt.

And even now, he's too weak to even handle having seen it — he's thrown up in the cell corner twice already — he's too weak to handle having seen it but he did it, wasn't too weak for that — his stomach lurches again, a little.

Someone walks in. A shamer, he hears the guard say. Of course. That's what you do with… monsters like him… you get a shamer so they know what they did. Before they're led to the great square, their head laid on a block. A small part of him is scared of the prospect. But he deserves it, of course.

And then the shamer talks, and Nico flinches as he recognizes the voice. It's Timon. Kind, compassionate Timon who would never hurt anybody, not even the guilty, not even when his own livelihood was on the line… Nico doesn't deserve to even look at him. He stays put.

He doesn't want to do this, but if Nico is going to be uncooperative, he doesn't have much choice.

(Why, it doesn't make sense, he can't seriously think that refusing to look is going to work.)

He positions himself carefully, so that the guard won't be able to see into his eyes without a fair amount of effort. There's no need to hurt him.

"Turn around. Look into my eyes."

His body moves on its own accord, compelled by the magic laced in Timon's voice. He raises his head.

It hurts, of course, but it's not so much worse than what he was already feeling.

He doesn't break eye contact.

Nico's memories start playing in both their minds.

There’s nothing special about the day Nico gives up. No grand inciting incident. Just a slightly younger version of Nico who’s tired to the bone of bending and breaking himself to fit his father’s expectations. His father makes his usual remarks about how lucky it is that Dunark has Erasmos, about how quickly Dunark would get invaded demolished turned into anarchy if Nico ever were to sit on the throne, and there’s nothing special about today except that Nico responds. 

“I… I don’t think I can do it. Not ever. I can’t learn to kill.”

The scene changes. It’s a few hours later, and Nico is standing in a room every surface of which is covered in books and vials and alchemy notes. He’s just finished recounting the argument to an older man sitting at a desk. The man looks up at Nico, his face looking heavy. “Nico, kid... I know it's hard to hear, but he isn't wrong, exactly.”

Nico looks deeply hurt as he tries and fails to come up with a response, and the man continues, looking earnest and caring and deeply, deeply serious. “I'm sorry, Nico, but you're the only good person in that rotten family, the country needs you —”

“But I can't, though, that's what I'm trying to say, I can't do it, Marlin —“

“Yes you can, Nico, I know you can, you are so much stronger than you think, you just need to try —”

“I've been trying my whole life! Trying to hold my tongue when he makes those awful comments, trying to work hard at training even though the swordmaster is awful, trying to be the son my father wanted, trying to be a perfect copy of Erasmos —“

“I'm sorry, I know you're working hard, but you just need to —“

“You don't know anything! Or you wouldn't have said — you're free to sit in your tower and do whatever you fucking want, you don't know what it's like, I try so hard every fucking day and you say I need to try harder and I can't, Marlin, I fucking can't!

“Nico…” He reaches out his hand.

“No!” Nico steps back, out of reach. “You don't get to do that, you don't get to hug me and then everything's alright again, that's not how this works, you want me to try even harder when I'm already —”

Nico's voice shakes as he says, so quietly it's almost a whisper, "I don't want to try anymore." And then he turns around and leaves the room, leaving the old man looking lost.

That certainly doesn't look like Nico murdering people. In fact, it looks like the exact opposite of that.

But he has to be sure. 

(And if he had decided to become a murderer, then it would sort of make sense for refusal to do so to be the first memory.)

He keeps looking.

There's a blur of people around him as Nico spends way too much of his time in taverns all over the city, doing stupid dares with Carmian and whoever else isn't too scared of him, the alcohol making his memories jumbled and confused and eventually nonexistent as each night goes on — 

 — all while knowing that he's wasting his life, wasting the influence he could have, wasting all of Dunark's money to pay for his drinks — not that it'd be spent on good things otherwise, probably, is what he tells himself to feel better — 

( — he must've brought Carmian's life in danger dozens of times, if death is what happens when he's drunk and sufficiently mad at someone — )

These memories also do not seem to involve any murder.

One possible explanation for this is that Nico did not, in fact, murder anyone; it's not impossible, and he'd certainly like it to be true. But perhaps that's just wishful thinking. Nico is, after all, sitting in a jail cell covered in blood, and he wasn't willing to meet his eyes.

He keeps looking.

There's the several months when he was 15 and had a giant crush on Adela just because she was nice to him that one time, that's pretty awful too, she's his brother's wife — Was. Was his brother's wife.

And then, finally, there's his father's words last night and the way the memory gets jumbled and confused and fades out even though he was trying to be responsible. And then there's being woken up by a scream and seeing Bian and Adela and his father, sliced up and bloody, still and unmoving. Nothing in between but an obvious conclusion. 

There's blood on his hands. That fact fills a memory all on its own.

Okay.

Okay.

(No, it's not okay, people are dead--)

It's really weird how there don't seem to be any memories of the murder.

He's not actually positive what would happen if you forgot about murdering someone. Maybe this is it. 

At the very least, he seemed horrified to have realized what happened, which suggests this wasn't some sort of elaborate, planned scheme.

(what sort of monster murders a three-year-old, it's not like murdering adults is okay but he can at least sort of understand why someone might want to--)

(this doesn't make sense, nothing about this makes sense--

--or maybe it makes perfect sense and he just doesn't want to admit how easy it is for someone to become a murderer--

--if Nico was willing to murder someone on so little provocation what would it take to push him--

--but maybe Nico didn't--

--or maybe he was only sort of misrepresenting himself--

--or maybe it really is so easy to become a murderer--)

Maybe the memory of the murder will be later. Maybe if he keeps looking through Nico's memories, he'll be able to figure it out. 

(maybe he already has, he just doesn't want to admit it)

(why doesn't Nico remember it)

He keeps looking.

There's a 13-year-old Nico throwing his sword into one of Dunark's canals. It's a futile attempt at rebellion that achieved nothing except destroying something objectively valuable. There's the voice of his father, later, thundering "you are nothing without your sword!"

There's the time he and Carmian were trying to climb the city buildings and his foot went through someone's roof, and in the moment running away seemed like the easiest solution and the next day he wanted to pay for the damages, of course, but he couldn't find the place again. 

There's an even younger Nico, just seven or eight years old, who dislikes his new swordmaster even though she's the best dueler in Dunark. He'd even gotten Marlin involved, not that it'd worked, his father wouldn't dream of firing someone so talented. Drakan had come up to him, after, and angrily explained how he'd do anything to get a teacher like that, how Nico had so many more opportunities and it wasn't fair, and the least he could do was appreciate them.

(Nico threw his sword into a river rather than -- why would he murder his family -- it doesn't make sense.)

He's briefly curious who the person in the third memory is -- he looks a little like Nico -- but that's less important than figuring out what happened.

(why)

If the memory of him actually carrying it out hasn't surfaced yet, it probably won't, but maybe he'll see something related -- Nico planning for the murder, perhaps -- no, but based on the surrounding memories it was probably a moment of drunken rage, not something planned -- but that doesn't explain why he would murder Bian--

He keeps looking.

There's a ten-year-old Nico shouting at his brother, "go away!" and "you always ruin everything!" and "I wish you weren't my brother!", when really Erasmos hadn't done anything except try to enter their shared room, their father is the one he was actually angry at —

There's lying to his father about how much he loves alchemy, about how much it might help Dunark financially if he could learn to turn regular metal to gold, when really the gold thing is most likely impossible and he just wants an excuse to keep Marlin as his teacher now that he's done learning to read —

Neither of those seem to have anything to do with the murders.

(--unless--

--he was upset at his brother because of something his father did--

--maybe the same thing happened with Bian--

--but that's a stretch, and it wasn't like Nico had killed his brother over it--)

Okay. 

Okay.

He can figure this out. Either Nico somehow went from unwillingness to kill anyone to murdering his entire family and then forgot about it, or he somehow wound up covered in his family's blood and surrounded by their bodies despite not having killed them. Neither possibility makes sense.

(--maybe he was framed--

--or maybe he was pretending very well--

--people change--

--but do they change that much in a few days--)

He keeps looking.

There's the day he met Timon, when he just left Carmian at the tavern without saying goodbye, that was kind of rude —

(The store of really shameful memories might be starting to run low.)

That's much less bad than murder.

He's probably not going to learn anything new this way, but maybe he'll get lucky.

(And the longer he spends doing this, the more time he has to figure out what to say.)

He keeps looking.

…there's the fact that there's still some small part of him that's scared of what's going to happen at the great square, soon. He shouldn't be, he deserves it he deserves it there's blood on his hands —

--No--

--he's not going to let that happen, even when he'd known people had done something like that he never--

--most murderers don't start out thinking they deserve to die--

--but maybe Nico would--

--but maybe he didn't do it--

--if this is how he's reacting to possibly having killed someone--

--killing someone isn't instantaneous, he'd have had time to regret it after the first one--

--but in the scenario where he killed them he's already drunk and angry, maybe he wouldn't have--

--what if he didn't do it--

He looks away, and a moment later thinks that maybe he should have waited to see if there was anything else similarly relevant.

At some point during the read, Nico started crying, because he is worthless horrible an awful person who has done so many bad things —

 — and some of that's probably from the shamer magic but it's also true, isn't it, because they're dead and there's blood on his hands —

He just sits there, crying.

--oh no Nico--

(He needs to focus.)

He turns towards the guard. "I -- I don't think -- I didn't see -- I didn't see any memories of him killing them I don't think he did it."

His voice is shaking; he'd sounded more confident defending people he knew were murderers than defending someone who might be innocent.

(He's messing this up and Nico is going to die and it'll be his fault--)

…he has their blood on his hands, though, they were dead and there was a sword on his floor and blood on his hands and who else hated his father that much —

Oh. Timon's lying to save him. 

He doesn't deserve it, he doesn't, but he's also scared, and — and he should probably say something but he can't quite get the words out —

Meanwhile, the guard gives Timon an incredulous look. "That's — not really possible… are you sure you didn't just miss something…? — I mean, not that I'm the one you'd have to convince, but —"

(He's not really sure who is, though, the normal hierarchy lost its head overnight. All because of that monster.)

"If there were a memory of him murdering them to see I'd have seen it -- I'm very confident of that --" he wouldn't be with everyone but he is with Nico "--unless he somehow murdered them and forgot about it--"

(This is not how to defend Nico, the guard'll just assume that's what happened--)

"Who do I need to talk to, I can talk through this as many times as necessary but if there's someone in charge of what happens to him it's probably easiest if I just explain it to them--"

"…you know, I'm not really sure? He kind of destroyed the whole line of succession. I mean, I still know who I report to, but that's sort of it."

…that's just a factual question, right, he can answer that one without having to — to make a decision —

His own voice feels distant as he says, "Everyone important will have gathered somewhere. Trying to… to figure out the answer to that question. Great Hall, probably — up the stairs and to your left…"

It would probably look suspicious if he listened to Nico without at least checking with the guard. He turns vaguely in that direction, careful not to meet his eyes. "Should I -- should I go -- should I go up there --"

He shouldn't leave the shamer alone when the castle clearly isn't secure, when there's still a small chance Nicodemus wasn't acting alone. He shouts for one of the guards at the dungeon entrance to come take over his post.

"I'll walk you there, how about. Then if he's wrong, we'll look for my superior and ask her if she knows."

(They probably won't be walking straight into an ambush. The Great Hall's too central for that, someone would've noticed.)

He nods. "Okay -- thank you --"

He follows the guard and tries to figure out what to say to stop them from killing Nico -- from killing anyone, it won't start being okay if it's someone else who gets executed.

(As they leave, Nico curls up in his cell again.)

When they get to the hall, two people in city guard uniform stands at the door. The guard escorting Timon explains that Timon is a shamer, just looked at the murderer, and they're let through.

He recognizes several of the people in the room - the army general, the guard captain, the guy that's in charge of money and stuff — and most are wearing the kind of clothes that'd cost him a year's salary. Their eyes all turn to them as the door slams shut, and he nervously stammers through a repeat of his previous explanation.

Someone found a shamer already. Goes against his plan, he was going to offer to fetch one, then he'd have basic control of what they knew and who they talked to — but plans never quite survive contact with reality — should be able to get things back on track if he just changes his prewritten lines a little — all this flashes through Drakan's mind in the span of a second while his face displays no emotion. Then he makes himself look relieved as he crosses the floor and says to the shamer, "I cannot tell you how happy I am to see a shamer so quickly. Erasmos was my friend, you see, and to lose his father, wife and son only a few months after we lost him —"

He adresses the room, now. "It'd mean a lot to me if you'd all let me take charge of the investigation."

Everyone nods, or shrugs, just like he expected. They all assume the question of guilt has the obvious answer, and that they'll need to stay in this room if they want a say in who inherits Dunark. Neither of which is true, but he won't let them know.

He adresses the shamer again. "Shall we?" Without waiting for an answer, he starts walking towards his study.

(He needs to know what the shamer thinks before he lets him talk to anyone else.)

(This man looks familiar -- oh, he was in one of Nico's memories.)

"Yes, of course -- I know this must be really hard on you--"

(That sounded stupid, didn't it -- he should be able to sound more sympathetic -- and he is, losing a friend is awful, losing that friend's family must make it even worse --)

He follows after Drakan, continuing to talk as he walks.

"I -- I know this sounds unlikely -- I -- I -- I think he might not have done it --"

(He's doing such a bad job of protecting Nico. For once, someone who might be innocent, and he can't even defend him. This shouldn't be hard, and yet somehow the uncertainty makes it more difficult -- but that's not an excuse, he needs to sound confident.)

(There's nobody within hearing distance, it's fine, he managed to contain the problem.)

He dons hist best surprised face. "…really? I guess he might not remember it, he was seen acting drunk a few hours earlier… but you do realize how he was found?"

He keeps walking as he talks. The faster they get to a closed room, the less likely someone will overhear.

(The shamer did phrase it as "think he might not", so convincing him might still work. If it doesn't, well, that's what the contingency plan is for.)

"I -- I guess -- it's not impossible --"

(It's not, it's really not, but he can't say that, Nico's life is at stake.)

"But most murderers remember committing murder -- and, and it didn't -- it didn't fit with the rest of his memories -- I'm not saying he definitely didn't do it -- but normally I'd be able to say for sure that he did, and I can't -- he might be innocent --"

This is not a remotely adequate defense.

They reach the study. He closes the door behind them.

"I hope you understand that no one else had motive to do this. Adela and Bian looked like quick kills, or as quick as a drunk person could reasonably expect — probably they just surprised him, and they might still be alive if they hadn't. If only little Bian hadn't had such frequent nightmares ever since his father died…" He makes himself look sad and wistful at the thought, playing his role.

"Ebenezer himself, though, that was brutal. Personal."

(That's not even a lie. It'd been terribly personal when he killed the father who'd never acknowledged him.)

"If you've really seen his memories, you must know how much he hated the man. It fits, shamer."

"--Obviously you know him and I've just seen his memories -- look, of course you want whoever did this to be --" (he hesitates a fraction of a second too long) "-- to be brought to justice -- but if -- if he didn't do it, and he might not have -- then killing him won't get you that, it'll get you an innocent person dead, and a guilty one alive --"

(He hates this, hates implying that killing people somehow becomes okay -- but he doesn't have much choice, not if he wants to persuade him --)

(And that explanation doesn't quite make sense, surely if Nico had the -- presence of mind -- to kill witnesses, he'd have had the presence of mind to at the very least wash the blood off his hands -- but it's not like he has any better explanations --)

(--This poor man--)

He notices the hesitation. Files it away for later, for when he's figured out exactly what it means.

"I do understand that. But nobody else makes even the slightest amount of sense, and you said yourself it's not impossible. I mean, what are you suggesting happened instead?"

"I -- I don't know -- but this doesn't make sense either -- where I'm from we don't execute people if it's not impossible they killed someone, or even if they probably killed someone -- the whole point of using shamers in the justice system is that we don't have to be uncertain -- maybe there's just some possibility we aren't thinking of --"

(--maybe an assassin killed them and Nico was trying to stop the bleeding -- and then inexplicably didn't tell anyone -- and forgot about it--

--maybe he was framed -- but by whom --

--maybe someone was going for Nico but he fought them off somehow -- and his family members had been in the way -- but that's not really in character either --

--maybe there's something he's missing, something that would make all of this make sense --

--maybe Nico did it --)

…he's not getting through to him, is he. 

"You're right, of course, that it'd be terrible and unjust to risk executing an innocent. The problem is, so would letting a murderer walk loose simply because he can't remember the act. You said yourself it's not impossible."

If he can't convince him, he'll drag this out. Keep the shamer away from everyone else.

"Is it in any way possible you might find some new information if you looked again."

(--better than killing them, but he can't just say that--)

"Lots of things aren't impossible. If you execute everyone who might have forgotten committing a murder you'll be executing literally everyone, there's no way to be sure someone didn't -- I'll grant that --" (he cuts himself off before he calls Nico 'Nico') "--he looks guiltier than most random people--"

(This is not a defense. He needs to focus, find a way to persuade this grieving man not to kill Nico -- this man thinks Nico murdered his friend's family, most people would want Nico dead for that --)

"--If you kill him and then you find out next week it was someone else you can't take that back, you won't be able to un-kill him--"

He pauses for a moment, rubbing his forehead as he lets the rest of the words catch up to him. "It's -- it's really unlikely I'll find anything useful but -- I guess there might be something buried in between -- the sort of stupid minor thing that everyone's done -- I can do it if you want me to--"

"'Looks guiltier than most random people', that's the understatement of the year."

It's strange. He thought most shamers wanted justice above all, but this one seems more intent on keeping that coward alive. He doesn't know why, not yet, but he wants to. The more he knows about the shamer, the better he can choose his next move.

"I think I do want you to look again. Even if he doesn't remember the act itself, there has to be something."

"Okay -- I can do that -- should we go do that now--"

Maybe the extra time will let him figure out what to say. There has to be something that will convince him Nico is innocent, at least innocent enough not to execute.

There really won't be.

"Yes, let's."

With that resolved, his face goes most of the way back to polite blankness as he opens the door.

(Better change to a safer topic while they walk. Someone might overhear.)

"You know, I don't think I've seen you in Dunark before."

(If he's very lucky, the answer might tell Drakan something about the shamer, if he'd be easy to bribe or threaten or discredit.)

"This is the first time I've come here. It's -- I -- I want to say I picked a bad time to be passing through, but I guess -- I guess it's good I was here when it happened." Because most shamers would be perfectly happy to let a murderer die. "You know, so -- so we can get things done more quickly, without having to fetch someone."

(On the other hand, if he'd picked a different time, if he hadn't met Nico when he did, maybe he wouldn't have decided to go back -- maybe his family would still be alive--

--he's going to try not to think about that.)

Yes, isn't it delightful to have had no choice regarding the most precarious part of this plan, to have absolutely no information about this person who could ruin everything.

"Of course. I believe everyone will be grateful for a quick and just decision."

"Although if it does take a while, I can have someone fetch your belongings? Letting you use a guest room here is surely the least we can do, if the investigation does end up taking longer than first expected."

(If he can at least find out where in Dunark the shamer's been staying, the innkeeper or some other guest might have some tiny bit of useful information.)

He flinches slightly when Drakan says 'just decision.'

"Yes, thank you, I'd appreciate that -- although of course I hope this'll be resolved fast enough that it won't be necessary." He gives an address.

"It's -- would you be able to spare an extra guard for the room? I don't want to impose on you, but if it wasn't --" (he almost says 'Nico,' realizes at the last second that calling him anything other than 'Nicodemus' would be far too revealing, and realizes a second after that that he has no idea what title to use under the circumstances) "--him, or if he wasn't acting alone..."

(He's probably being awfully rude, this man is clearly far more important than he is, but he would very much prefer not to be murdered.)

Is he avoiding saying Nicodemus' name? Very strange. 

"Of course your room can be guarded." It won't have the effect the shamer wants, of course, but it will keep meddlers away.

"If you tell me which inn, someone can gather your things while you work." 

He recites the name and address. "Thank you, I appreciate it. How -- about how long do you expect this to take? How long should I keep looking if I'm not seeing anything useful that I haven't already?"

"As long as it takes to know for certain."

He exchanges a few words with the guard outside the dungeons, and the door is opened. He doesn't enter. The shamer can't do anything catastrophic from here, there's little gained from seeing him work, and Drakan has other things to do in the meantime.

He nods, in the slightly uncomfortable way of someone trying very hard not to make eye contact. He's not sure if he's ever going to be certain, but in the worst-case scenario he can lie.

He enters the dungeon and walks over to Nico's cell. "The -- man leading the investigation -- asked me to take another look. In case I missed something the first time. Can you -- can you please turn around? I don't want to have to force you this time."

Timon's back. 

Nico's sitting, this time, hunched up against a wall. He looks over to the guard, to verify that he's too far away to hear, and then says to Timon in a quiet voice, "you don't have to lie for me."

He freezes for a moment and glances in the direction of the guard, breathing a tiny sigh of relief when he doesn't seem to have reacted.

"I -- I'm not -- I mean, I sort of am -- I -- it's definitely possible you didn't do it," he says, very quietly. "Which -- is more than I can say for most of the people they brought me in for. And -- and -- and even if you did, all the reasons -- you don't matter less than any of the others, all the reasons it would've been wrong --"

He takes a deep breath. His voice is still quiet, when he resumes talking, but now it's slightly more forceful. "I'm not going to try to tell you it was okay to murder your family, because it wasn't, but -- but that doesn't mean it would be okay to kill you either -- and that's if you did do it, which you might not have --"

(He really wants to give Nico a hug, which is kind of a weird impulse to have about someone who might have murdered a three-year-old, and in any case would look very suspicious. He doesn't even know if Nico would want one.)

Definitely possible. That's — maybe technically true, but — but it's not it's not it's not —

…right, Timon does this, and it's noble and kind and admirable and it feels completely different when you're on the other side of it, feels wrong, he shouldn't get to just go free after this — should maybe tell Timon to leave and then make up some details for a nice tidy confession — but Timon might get in trouble for that — and he doesn't want him to leave —

He just sits there, for a bit, and then he turns and looks straight at Timon. "You won't find anything new," he says in a voice that's almost a whisper.

He's not really expecting to, but he told the man leading the investigation that he was going to try.

"I'm sorry, Nico," he whispers, because it's not really fair to Nico to have to go through this again when Timon should have been able to fix it easily with a lie.

(He doesn't think he's ever apologized to someone for using his powers to figure out if they killed someone.)

He looks up.

He knows what feeling to expect, now, but it still hurts.

The memories start playing, just like before. Again there's the fight with Marlin and the running away from it all, again there's the three dead bodies and the obvious conclusion.

And again there's also all the billion smaller things he's done wrong: Throwing away a valuable sword, crushing on Adela, trying to get his teacher fired, destroying someone's roof, shouting at his brother, lying to his father —

 — but there's also how he never got to know his nephew, how until a few days ago he thought of him as just "Erasmos' kid" — and how a moment ago, he thought of a nice tidy way around Timon's principles but flinched away from it for a deeply selfish reason —

(--Nico's clearly really upset about losing him, not that it wasn't already obvious--

--why would he have done it, it doesn't make sense, the eliminating-witnesses theory almost works but in that case why didn't he do anything else to hide what happened--

--maybe he was too drunk to think of it--

--but not too drunk to think to kill the witnesses, that almost makes sense--)

(--that's really vague for a memory--)

He wants to stop and ask about it, but he really doesn't want to have to do this all again. Maybe he can try asking when he's done.

That's going to take a while, because there's plenty of minor things to fill the time with, plenty of thoughtless comments and little white lies and not being polite enough to the waitstaff —

 — and Nico watches every one of them along with Timon, watches all the reasons he's terrible awful just the kind of person who'd — his mind would be showing him the three bodies, now, or the blood on his hands, except it's busy showing them both all these other times he hurt others, was unfair, selfish — never as good as he should be, never the person Dunark needs —

(None of them contain relevant information.)

--he said he'd keep looking until he was certain--

(He's not going to be, but at least he'll have tried.)

(He's probably going to need to claim to be, which means he needs some sort of explanation for why he's certain-- but even if Nico didn't do it, it's not like he'd see a memory of Nico failing to murder his family at the precise time the actual murder occurred--)

(--and this isn't helping anything, all it's doing is hurting Nico--

--maybe it'll be easier to come up with a lie if something he's claiming is true--

--and maybe there'll still be something relevant, not that that's likely--)

He keeps looking.

At this point it's down to awkward social situations, to talking over people and having ravens on his clothes in front of anyone who wishes they did. He knows Drakan's in this group — or was as a child, at least — but probably most people are. It's a lot better than what most people get. But of course, Nico's always been a selfish ungrateful fuckup, just the sort of person who'd —

(There continues not to be any damning evidence in Nico's memories, one way or the other. But Timon's going to end up knowing a lot of minor details about Nico's life.)

He'll keep watching the minor details of Nico's life, then. He'll have to run out of what are admittedly very definitely not murders at some point.

(It's not like this is any more invasive than looking at the earlier memories -- and he shouldn't be thinking about that when someone's life is on the line, that's obviously more important --)

Eventually there really is nothing more to see, just blankness and feelings of guilt.

(He's done so so many awful things, he's terrible and selfish and weak, and they're dead and he's covered in their blood — )

He looks away.

He should probably say something, but he can't figure out what. After a few seconds, he hazards a glance in Nico's direction.

— he's horrible awful selfish he's done so much wrong, he must've done this too, they're dead and it's his fault —

He's just sitting there, breathing quickly, not quite hugging himself because that would involve his hands touching his body.

He should probably go figure out where the man from before is, so he can report what he saw.

He doesn't move. "Are you alright?" he whispers eventually.

(The answer is obvious, but he figures it's probably better to ask.)

He makes an incredulous sound, somewhere between a laugh and a sob.

"Does it matter?"

He's terrible and evil and he should just — right, he had an idea for that, earlier. 

"I can — if you don't want to do this — I can. Give you a few hours. And then call someone over and — and make up some details."