Oh no it’s this guy again, didn’t we exile you?

Yes but you see. This time in exile was spent gathering all the bastards, horse thieves, deserters, runaway indentures, murderers, highwaymen, sellswords, uppity peasants, poachers, and other associated vagabonds in the land. 

Let’s try this again, except this time I also have an army. 

That’s not good. There are more of them than there are of us. 

“I challenge you! Face me in single combat, or flee and yield rulership of Òdena!”

“How many times do we have to tell you, that’s not how it works!”

“Face me in single combat, or face my army in battle. By the sword, we will learn who decides how it works.”

No? We have this tower, see. So the baron and his men and everyone else important enough to protect will be staying inside here, until reinforcements arrive. The count will be back eventually, or news will reach the neighboring barons. 

However many days it takes for the convention to finish— that’s how long we have to get them out of that tower. Ideally with enough of a margin to get himself entrenched. If the count comes back to a tower under siege, of course the liege rides to the aid of a vassal. If the count arrives to find a new baron instead of the old one… Marco thinks he can make a deal. 

As for the neighboring barons, arrangements have already been made with the three closest neighbors. They’d like to save their forces just in case they need to resist being replaced by the count. So the neighbors won’t be intervening in this dispute, staying out unless someone obviously starts winning. It also helps that Marco recruiting every bandit around for this war means the bandits are causing problems here instead of there. 

Without siege engines and without time to wait for them to run out of provisions, this can’t be a conventional siege. Either we get the baron out of that tower somehow, or it’s all over.

Okay this is getting boring. Have the horsemen ride at the edge of bow range and shout insults. Question the profession of their mothers, honor of their wives, legitimacy of their sons, all that. See if that gets them in a fighting mood instead of a hiding inside a tower mood. 

Angry discussion, some of the retainers really want to go kill the bandit scum right now. Others are taking the measured approach of waiting for the messenger to come back with reinforcements, and then we’ll kill them later.

“Cowards! Bastards! Sons of whores, the whole lot of you!  Call yourselves men, do you? Call yourselves  rulers, do you? Get out here and fight!”

Are you sure we can’t just chase them off right now? They’re rats, barely a trained soldier among them. They’ have numbers but they’ll break easy.

They have a cleric, and they have enough to surround us. If they don’t break, we’re done for. We wait.

Fine.

Okay this is getting boring. Time to go bother the peasants.

please don’t 

Clerics are supposed to give sermons, yes? Yes.

Marco has not received any religious education on what the teachings of Gorum actually are. But the Truth of Iron is pretty self-evident to anyone who is paying attention. Most people don’t pay attention, though. Hence, sermons.

Round up a few men from each village, bring them all to that little hill over there. 

what’s going on is this guy about to kill us all

“You’re asking the right questions. I will explain to you all the principles that determine why some people are killed and others are not killed. Pay attention, there will be a test at the end.”

“Every man who is alive has some reason for it. A reason why no one has killed him. There are a few of those, and I will now go over them.”

”The first is strength. This is the best reason and it is the main one I use. There are some who want me dead, but they all either decide not to kill me or die. Because I am strong enough to kill them first.”

“If anyone wants to verify this part… try it. Right now.”

we will not be doing that

“Didn’t think so.”

”Now, on to the second reason for a man to not be killed. Because those who want him alive are stronger than those who want him dead. Those who want him dead have been killed by those who want him alive, or are afraid of the threat of being killed. Most men and nearly all women and children are alive for this second reason.”

“It’s done and we’re having the test now.”

okay so now he’s about to kill us all

“Men, bring out the Chosen.”

Even without spells, even when being dragged to his execution by bandits, the local Chosen of Asmodeus has his presence. The old man is broken and frail, but he stands and looks down on the crowd as if he were a god. He owns you, still. He is the sculptor and you are the clay. He pulled your darkest secrets out of you and wrote them down in his book. He knows your worst fear because he’s the one who gave it to you. No one knew it was possible to do that to a person, much less for that long, before he came into town.

“Why is this man alive?”

“None of you will go home until someone can answer. It is not a hard test, this is the most basic principle. Why. Is he. Alive?”

“Surely, some of you want him dead. So why is he alive? I will give you a hint. It is not because he is strong enough to kill you all.”

The Chosen of Asmodeus smiles with contempt.

… 

someone is protecting him

“Really? Who?”

everyone knows he has something on the baron, no spells but he’s still untouchable 

wait

if the baron is protecting him then he would be in the tower with the rest of them

Now you’re getting it.

The next morning, what’s left of the Chosen of Asmodeus is found hanging from a tree.

Nice.

Back to besieging.

We interrupt this siege with an urgent message from the queen! Delivered by knights on fast horses. 

Oh?

"The queen decrees an end to halfling slavery! Kidnapping remains a crime! This means all halflings are free to leave, and whoever the baron is needs to make sure no one stops them. Make sense?"

"The baron is... not receiving visitors. As acting baron, I am happy to step in and take on some responsibilities. "

Uh huh. We can see the bandit army besieging the seat of the barony. 

Okay but do you care at all about who the legitimate ruler of this place is?

Nah. 

Thought so. Let's do this thing. 

Get half the riders together, let's visit each of the manor estates around here. 

We've got a decree to promulgate.

We, the owners of each of these manor estates, and also owners of the local halfling population, notice something. Neither of you two are the official authorities. 

"Decrees. Titles. Words. On. Paper."

"Words on paper hold no power by themselves. Power comes from real things, like men with blades who are willing to kill and die. Sometimes words on paper have men with blades attacked, but don't take it for granted that they do. It is very valuable to be able to look clearly at real things, especially in situations like this."

If that criminal bastard of a bandit captain wants to give a speech... well, better giving a speech than running us down. 

Concerned about where you're going with this, and also would like to get this done quickly. There's a lot more baronies to ride through.

Are you concerned or hurried enough to stop me? No? Then don't interrupt.

"Let's take a look at the forces around. Who would be fighting on which side of a fight about whether any halflings here stay kidnapped or leave."

"Fighting in favor of kidnapping: A handful of second rate hired guards. Unless any want to desert, seeing how their employer probably won't be able to pay them by the year's end."

"Fighting against kidnapping: These two in their shiny armor. Any halflings who would prefer not to be kidnapped."

Marco gives a wave to the Volunteer Decree Promulgators, and shares a knowing look with a few halflings who aren't as well hidden as they think they are.

"Not participating in this fight: That fool hiding in his tower claiming to rule, and his army. My forces, busy keeping him trapped in that tower. The count or duke or archduke or queen. Might show up for the next fight, on one side or the other, but too far from this one."

"Do with this knowledge what you will."