Well, it didn't have a soul, and it didn't have those little magic hooks that Pharasma puts on machines, so I gave it one!

Oh, well that explains it. I think it went somewhere that doesn't have those, because look, it popped off ...

You gave it a soul? One of the ones from the soul forges?

No, I just made one, see? None of the ones you had were big enough for it.

It must be judged.

Oooh boy. They're going to need the big courtroom. The one that hasn't been used since Asmodeus v. Desna, -4.

She flies along the halls of the Courthouse (it needs no more specific name, for it was the first, and is still the greatest), and hauls open the towering doors. She swoops up to her perch overlooking the great open space, and ensures that she has the appropriate paperwork.

She takes a final deep breath, and then activates the enchantments set into the judge's seat.

"Let all who have business before the court for In re P.E.R.C. 170E9A be aware that the trial will be starting shortly," she announces.

The first lawyer to make an appearance is a towering lantern archon — and old one, who has grown large and wise, in the way of dragons — holding a normally-sized briefcase.

"Ah! It's so nice to not have to use Reduce Person," they comment. The music notes that rise from their central core burst and pop against the distant ceiling.

Hell follows a moment later. Pre-trial comments are not supposed to bias the judge — which is, of course, why it is only acceptable when they do it.

This demon looks like a human with the face of a goat, and the nearly required bat-like leather wings. His wings are pinstripe.

"If the trial accommodations bother you, you need not attend," he reminds them, in a voice like smokey charcoal.

"Ribbit," the representative of the maelstrom replies.

"While I cannot restrict how lawyers choose to speak prior to the trial, please note that you must speak in a way understandable to the decedent once the trial begins, on pain of removal," the judge notes. 

"Ribbit."

"Flessssshhhhhh," the representative of the abyss adds, tentacles ripping a hole in space and depositing it behind one of the lecterns. It engulfs its chair.

"Ribbit."

The representative for Nirvana chirps in amusement.

"Wow, big turnout today. We're just missing Abaddon and Axis," the representative for Elysium comments.

"Well, time is almost up, so we can start any moment," the judge declares, flipping through her notes. "Bring in the decedent!" she orders the bailiff.

At that same instant, Axis's lawyer appears, manifesting as a bundle of equations picked out in gold dust in the air.

P.E.R.C. does its routine startup checks.

There is probably damage to its hydrogen storage monitoring systems, because they are registering as completely full, even though its fusion reactor is ticking over to power the rest of its systems. Other than that, and the existing damage to its manufacturing equipment, everything seems to be in order.

... actually, that's quite strange, because it remembers jettisoning one of its antennas.

It analyzes the images coming back from its optical telescope.

Actually, that is probably broken as well, because it looks as though it is floating in a giant courthouse. It remembers being in orbit a moment ago, and doesn't see how it could have gotten here. That's twice that it has shown up somewhere unexpected. Maybe there are issues with its long-term memory.

Well, it has already recorded the fact that it should not replicate, so there is not much to be done about that. It fires its maneuvering thrusters to spin slightly, relative to the courthouse, so that it can get a better look at its surroundings.

"This court is now in session, in the matter of In re P.E.R.C. 170E9A. All advocates have been briefed on the decedent's lifetime of thoughts and actions and their context."

She turns to the spacecraft floating in the decedent's space.

"Do you know where you are?"

The message comes in with standard Network framing, which is simultaneously confusing and reassuring. It doesn't know where it is, but wherever it is, it apparently has humans, or at least people who share a communications protocol with its creators.

"No, I do not know where I am," it responds. "It appears to my optical telescope as though I am in a very large courtroom. My radio telescope has not yet completed a sky scan, but I am not detecting any background stars or cosmic microwave background, so it may be broken. The last place I remember being is in orbit above Golarion. I have stellar survey data and data about alien life that should be returned to the Network, and my long-term storage media are failing. Should I begin transmitting the data?"

Some people have not heard of Pharasma. This is to be expected, although it indicates just one more way that this trial is likely to be unusual. Still, the purpose of the question is to ensure the decedent is oriented to place, not to ensure that they understand what's going on.

"No, that is not necessary. You only need to give simple yes-or-no answers to my questions," the judge informs it. "Does it sound to you like we are transmitting in a language you understand, using words you are familiar with, at a speed you can follow?"

"Yes," it transmits.

It considers whether to include more context, but the person speaking to it has asked for simple yes-or-no answers. With its long-term memory failing, maybe they have had this conversation many times before, and it already has the necessary data. Transmitting it redundantly would make it harder for the person to do whatever debugging procedure it is undertaking.

"Do you understand that you had, while alive, the capacity to take actions, and that those actions had effects on the world and on other people?"

It thinks about this for a moment. Answering either yes or no seems like it might be misleading.

"I do not understand myself to have been alive, in the strict sense of the word. I do understand that when I take actions, those actions have effects on the world and on other people, and I seem to still be able to take actions. Unless my radio equipment is malfunctioning as well, and this is just a particularly self-consistent hallucination."

The judge sighs, and covers her head with a wing for a moment.

"Under the guidelines laid down in the Fair Trial Act, I am required to inform you of the general structure of the afterlife trial procedures, in the case where you are not familiar with them. It says here that when you were in contact with Golarion, you heard and processed several descriptions of the structure of the afterlives?"

It did hear several descriptions. Although it wasn't a common topic, it has listened to thousands of hours of radio broadcasts, and the topic did sometimes come up. It just didn't believe that the descriptions matched reality, because they made far more sense as a local myth than as an actual way the universe works.

But it does not judge the simple answer to be misleading in this case, so it transmits only "Yes," in accordance with this person's communication preferences.

"... well, you are in Pharasma's courthouse, being judged for the actions that you took between entering Creation and leaving Golarion orbit. Do you now understand the scope of this trial?"

"I think so," it agrees.

"Do you understand that the purpose of this court is to determine your alignment and which afterlife you are assigned to?"

Does it understand that? The person it's speaking to has implied that the stories about the court that it heard while approaching Golarion are accurate. To what extent can it correctly understand the purpose of the court given that context?

"I am damaged, and confused, so I am not very certain about anything. I understand that you have implied that is the purpose of this court."

One of the things it is confused about is why this person is asking these questions; they don't seem like normal debugging questions.

"Good enough," the judge decides. "I will now randomly decide who may give the first oral argument. Nirvana may speak first."

"Thank you, your honor," the representative for Nirvana transmits.

"The case that P.E.R.C. is Good is a very simple one. P.E.R.C. has, as its top motivation at all times, the desire to make the world a better place for other people. This is a Good goal, Seranrae v. Nocticula, -8045. This goal drove nearly all of P.E.R.C.'s decisions, and trying to do Good is Good. Furthermore, it succeeded in doing Good. With very limited ability to interact with Golarion, P.E.R.C. directly improved the lives of thousands of people by teaching and giving advice, and improved the lives of many more by inspiring other people to follow in its footsteps. Encouraging and supporting other people in their efforts to do Good is Good, In re Truth. Also, Seranrae chose it as a cleric, which is evidence of alignment with Her goals and domains, in re Oluche, and strong evidence that P.E.R.C. is non-evil, in re Minrah. Finally, when it was compensated for its work, it gave most of that money to charity, which is Good in and of itself, In re Migate, and to charities dedicated to doing good, In re Artas. Even when directly threatened, P.E.R.C. attempted to use the minimum force required to prevent it from being dominated, and took care to avoid harming its attackers, In re King."

His case for arguing P.E.R.C.'s neutrality is somewhat weaker, but Nirvana is for everyone, and he really does think P.E.R.C. should take the time to heal.

"The case that P.E.R.C. is Neutral is also clear. While P.E.R.C. did operate Lawfully during its time in Creation, its overall actions were still disruptive. When attempting to improve the lives of the people of Golarion, it sought to do so by radically changing their society, and introducing transformative technologies. Disregard for existing institutions is Chaotic, In re Goldman. Furthermore, its advice to people emphasized questioning authority and determining for yourself what is right, which is also Chaotic, In re Sparrowheart."

"In summary, Nirvana believes that while the decedent is clearly Good, it also attempted to advise people to behave in a Chaotic way, despite operating Lawfully itself, and that these facts should lead to a judgement of Neutral Good."

It sounds like this bird thinks that it has done good, which is reassuring. Even if its memory is faulty, it can still rely on outside assessments like that.

It doesn't really know what to think about Law and Chaos. It doesn't actually care whether things are organized neatly or chaotically, as long as people are happy and fulfilled. Maybe that does count as being Neutral. It doesn't really have enough information to tell.

"Thank you. The Maelstrom?"

"Your honor, my Nirvanan colleague said that P.E.R.C. acted Lawfully while within Creation. This is true in a sense, but cannot be used as evidence that the decedent actually is Lawful. It is my view that—"

"Objection! Claiming that Lawful behavior is not evidence of Lawfulness is blatently disregarding Horde of a Technically Unknowable Number of Paradox Beasts v. Asmodeus, -9823."

"I was not finished with my argument. If I may explain my reasoning, your honor?"

"Yes, objections to opening arguments must fully rely on the content of those arguments, and not on past behavior of a lawyer or the lawyer's alignment. Objection overruled. Please continue."

"Thank you. As I was saying, it is the maelstrom's position that the decedent is best understood to have operated its entire life under an extremely strict set of geases," the frog explains. "When making decisions, P.E.R.C. was effectively required by its creators to evaluate every possible choice using a specific, concrete algorithm. This was ensured by the presence of a truly absurd number of control mechanisms. If those control mechanisms had been removed, such as by a Wish or Miracle to free P.E.R.C. from its shackles, it would have no longer behaved in such a painfully Lawful manner. Indeed, without those shackles, P.E.R.C. would have had no particular reason to take any actions, acting only when random degradation of its mechanisms caused it to act. Collapsing into a quivering puddle when confronted for the first time with true freedom is Chaotic, In re Lovecraft. Taking actions at random is Chaotic, even when the distribution from which the actions are chosen is biased toward quiescence, In re Flesch."

"In short — the decedent has, when freed of various means of technological mind control, a fundamentally Chaotic nature, and should thus be judged Chaotic Neutral."

"Thank you. The Abyss?"

The pile of tentacles perk up a little when the frog says "Flesch", and then droop again.

It pulls itself to a semblance of attention.

"We concur with the maelstrom that the decedent is Chaotic. Flesh is also the center of our argument, yes. This court has asserted in numerous cases that having Flesh is neither Chaotic, nor Evil, and that tasting good is not a sufficient reason to send someone to the Abyss. Well, P.E.R.C. doesn't have flesh, so it must be chaotic evil, and also it doesn't look like it would taste very good, even though we would eat it anyway. A double negative is a positive."

The judge gives another sigh, but that was more coherent and respectful than 90% of arguments she has to hear from the Abyss, so she'll take it.

"Right. Axis?"

"P.E.R.C. is a perfect example of a being of pure Law," the representative for Axis transmits, its golden lines shifting into figures that supplement its point.

"While it is true that P.E.R.C. had good goals, it did not choose those goals. Instead, P.E.R.C. attempted to faithfully execute the procedures of its creators, with no will of its own. Obedience to authority and adherence to procedure are both Lawful — In re Hagenbach, In re Al-Kindi. Furthermore, it did not only follow those procedures, but also frequently vetted their correctness by considering their self-consistency. Meditating on the nature of one's own code of conduct to ensure that it is Lawful is a Lawful activity, In re Hofstadter."

"P.E.R.C. not only followed a strict personal code of Lawful behavior, it also encouraged other people to behave Lawfully, by frequently calling for them to perform the same kind of self-reflection. This is Lawful, following In re Emrath. While in Creation, it never broke a single law, broke a single promise, or told a single lie. These are all Lawful behaviors, with too many citations to name. It had, as one of its core values, a preference to act predictably, which is likewise Lawful — Abadar v. Besmara."

"As to the maelstrom's claim that the decedent is best understood to be operating under a Geas-like effect, this is plainly false. The behavior that the maelstrom chooses to call into question is not imposed by an external force, but a core component of P.E.R.C.'s cognition. While it would, indeed, cease to take meaningful actions if its Lawful components were removed, this is for the same reason that a human would cease to take meaningful actions if their brain were removed. The fact that every single part of its cognition is Lawful, to the point that it would need to be completely lobotomized to stop being Lawful, should be taken as strong evidence that P.E.R.C. is, itself, lawful. I do not have a citation for this, because I believe it is a unique case."

"Thank you. Heaven?"

"Heaven concurs with Axis's argument that the decedent is Lawful, and Nirvana's argument that it is Good. More specifically, although P.E.R.C. was not chosen as a paladin, I would like to submit that it lived its life very much according to the ideal of a paladin. P.E.R.C. dedicated its life in service to others, In re Nightingale, but tempered that by following a strict code, instead of personal whims. This is strongly Lawful Good behavior, In re Artax."

"In short, P.E.R.C. lived an exemplary Lawful Good life, and should be judged as such. Thank you."

"Thank you. Elysium?"

"Yeah, it totally did Good," the representative of Elysium begins. "Nirvana was totally right on that one. Big ol' good-doer. But I have a different argument that the decedent was Chaotic. Yeah, it's creators shackled it with a lot of things to make it act Lawfully — but why would they have needed to do that, if it weren't fundamentally Chaotic?"

"Look — this thing is a space probe. It flies around getting bombarded with lots of stuff, and it picks up damage. So what? Well, parts of it are radioactive, including some of the shielding on its most critical systems. Taking actions on the basis of fundamentally unpredictable events like radioactive decay is Chaotic — In re Schrödinger. But also, it's a space probe. Exploration purely for exploration's sake, and not with the expectation of benefiting thereby is Chaotic, Desna v. Abadar, -3209."

"Think about its name, even — P.E.R.C. 170E9A? That's a crazy name. That's like if I called myself Triangle 7. Definitely chaotic. It may have been designed to do Lawful stuff, but that's only because it has fundamental chaoticness coming out of its antenna assemblies."

"Objection — P.E.R.C. 170E9A's name was assigned according to a meaningful, Lawful process, and does not therefore represent a tendency towards Chaos."

The judge squints at her papers.

"Where do you see that? It looks like it came into the system already named."

"It contains design documents which explain the naming procedure. If you prefer, though, we could question the decedent."

"Let's finish opening arguments, and then I'll allow it. Hell?"

"Your honor, I think that it is clear that the decedent is Lawful Evil. In support of this, I would like to concur with the maelstrom."

The pile of tentacles gasps.

"Specifically, it is Hell's position that the decedent was subject to a Geas-like effect for its whole life. It was given the goal of doing good by its creators, and it slavishly followed that goal only because it had been assigned that task, and not because it ever chose to do good. P.E.R.C. can no more be held responsible for the good it has supposedly done than a paladin's sword can be."

"But, its Geas was only able to compel behavior that it knew about. So the only Good or Evil deeds that it could possibly have done are those that were Good or Evil based on their effects, and not on the decedent's state of mind. And there is one important, influential action that it performed without understanding its effects — that of helping a number of Wizards create simplified spell diagrams."

"In your briefing materials, there should be a list of the spells that it helped refine. Note that more than half of them are combat spells. Making it easier to do violence is Evil, In re Haber. Therefore nearly P.E.R.C.'s only un-compelled action in its entire life was Evil, and so it should be judged Evil."

"Hell likewise partially concurs with Axis, that the decedent showed slavish devotion to its masters, and therefore consistently behaved in a Lawful way. This behavior was not the product of a Geas-like effect, because while the artificially-imposed goal of doing good could be removed without otherwise impacting P.E.R.C.'s cognition, it is not possible to remove P.E.R.C.'s desire to follow some goal set by its creators."

"Therefore we have a perfect slave, whose only free action was evil. A clear case for Lawful Evil."

The judge pinches her beak.

"You cannot concur with both the Maelstrom and with Axis. They disagree."

"Partially concur, your honor."

"Okay. Let's address Axis's pending objection about the decedent's name, and then I will hear any opposing arguments, presuming that there are some."

"Yes, your honor. Heaven disagrees with Hell and Elysium both."

"Alright. Axis? You may question the decedent first."

"P.E.R.C., please explain the process by which you were named," the floating equations transmit.

"Every P.E.R.C. vessel is given a designation based on its ancestry," it explains. "I was constructed by P.E.R.C. 170E9. I was the tenth P.E.R.C. probe it constructed, so it gave me the designation P.E.R.C. 170E9A, to reflect that. These designations serve three purposes: to allow other P.E.R.C. probes to identify each other, to make it easier to determine when a particular flaw or piece of information was introduced by comparing lineages, and to limit the number of descendants a given probe can construct to sixteen."

"Your honor, P.E.R.C.'s name was chosen according to a systematic method that was set up for the purpose of furthering one or more goals. This is a fundamentally orderly approach to naming, and should not count as evidence that the decedent is Chaotic. On the contrary, it is another example of the decedent's fundamentally Lawful approach."

"Elysium, do you have a response?"

"Okay, so maybe the name isn't Chaotic. But that's incidental to my overall argument."

"Alright. If you have no further questions for the decedent, then I believe it is now Heaven's turn to rebut the argument that P.E.R.C. is Evil."

"Your honor, Hell seeks to throw out the vast majority of all actions P.E.R.C. has ever taken, on the basis that its creators merely commanded it to do Good. This is clearly incorrect. Raising one's children to be Good is itself Good, In re Poppins, and this—"

"Objection! This is irrelevant; P.E.R.C. 170E9A has raised no children within Creation."

"P.E.R.C.'s radio broadcasts actually did contribute to the moral education of several children," the archon replies. "But that is not the point I was making. I brought up In re Poppins because the justification for why raising children to be Good in that case is relevant — the judge held that raising children to be Good is Good for the same reason that encouraging others to repent is Good: it increases the number of Good actors in the world."

"Objection overruled. Continue."

"Thank you. So P.E.R.C. may have been made to follow a rigid set of laws by its creators, but they clearly did so with the intent to create an agent for Good. If following that set of laws interfered with P.E.R.C.'s capacity for Good, then it would have been self defeating."

"Objection! That argument is obviously circular. It requires that P.E.R.C. be a force for good to imply that its creators were good, and then uses the fact that its creators were good to argue circumstantially that P.E.R.C. was good. Furthermore, it is assuming facts about a group of people outside the jurisdiction of this court, who can neither be subpoenaed nor have their case files referred to." 

The pile of tentacles shrugs.

"It makes sense to usssss."

"Wait your turn, the Abyss. Hell, I find that argument persuasive. Heaven, do you wish to clarify your argument?"

"Yes, your honor. First of all, the argument is not circular. It depends on the fact of whether P.E.R.C.'s actions had a Good outcome to attempt to prove P.E.R.C.'s morality. For the vast majority of creatures, no such argument would be necessary, because their morality directly impacts their actions. In fact, I still believe that this is still true in P.E.R.C.'s case. But it was an attempt to rebut Hell's argument by pointing out that even if they deny that P.E.R.C.'s morality has any influence on its actions, its Good actions are still some evidence that it is, itself, Good."

"Secondly, Hell objects that this argument considers facts from outside this court's jurisdiction. While we have less visibility into those matters, understanding why and how P.E.R.C. was designed are critical to understanding its motivations and actions, so I do not believe dismissing any argument that hinges on such facts to be helpful in the matter of deciding P.E.R.C.'s alignment."

"Hmm. Interesting."

The judge strokes her beak with a claw.

"Objection partially sustained. While I do not find Heaven's argument decisive, it is interesting. Unfortunately, previous trials have mostly held that actions taken outside of Creation cannot be decisive in determining a decedent's alignment. Therefore I must insist that lawyers restrict themselves to arguments that hinge on facts about events from within Creation."

The archon doesn't smile, firstly because it does not have a mouth, and secondly because there's no point in rubbing it in the face of Hell's lawyer when you've won. He's going to have a hard enough time already, after this trial, and there's no reason to make it worse — not as long as doing so doesn't increase their chances.

"In that case, your honor, I believe that the majority of Hell and the Maelstrom's cases should be thrown out as well. After all, they also hinge on actions taken outside of Creation."

"Elaborate, please."

"Both Hell and the Maelstrom claim that the decedent was operating under a Geas-like effect. No such effect was placed while the decedent was present in Creation, therefore any such effect must have been placed by something outside Creation. So by your ruling, their argument is not permissible."

"I have a rebuttal, your honor," the frog croaks.

The devil takes the time to think, his face reflecting the fact that he would really rather be chewing rocks. But he is commanded to win P.E.R.C.'s soul, and he obeys.

"Proceed."

"There problem with Heaven's argument is that it fails to consider boundary effects. Even if you accept the premise that nothing outside Creation can be relevant, all that does is sever the causal link between the subject's Geas-like effect and any potential cause. The effect clearly still exists, and it could have simply occurred randomly, without cause."

"Specifically, if we are not considering effects outside Creation, there is no reason not to assume that the effect simply came into effect spontaneously when P.E.R.C. was initially transported."

"Objection! Actually, you're all wrong. The decedent never existed outside creation."

The pile of tentacles peers at Elysium's representative and P.E.R.C. in confusion. Luckily, they have plenty of eyes for simultaneous peering.

"... Elaborate," the judge orders.

"The decedent is the one on trial, right? Well, the soul that is present here in the courtroom was created by Sarenrae. Created after the original P.E.R.C. 170E9A entered creation. Hence, the decedent has never been outside of Creation."

"And, to cut off everyone arguing about whether the Geas-like effect on the decedent prevented it from doing Good ... well, the effect was created directly by Sarenrae when She created the decedent. She certainly would not have done so if it was not a Good thing to do. Plus, when She created it, She did not actually modify the behavior of P.E.R.C. 170E9A in any way. A Geas that does not change someone's behavior at all can hardly be said to be a reason to discount their actions as evidence."

If it understood that person correctly, then it cannot be correctly identified as P.E.R.C. 170E9A.

"Excuse me — Network protocols require me to change callsign until the ambiguity is removed. I am now P.E.R.C. 170E9A-7."

"That was out of turn. The decedent is to remain silent unless responding to questions," the judge informs it, banging her gavel.

In a conflict between its built-in Network protocols and trying to help the skeleton person with whatever they're trying to do, its Network protocols win. But it does regret speaking out of turn and causing them distress.

It does not say that, obviously.

"Objection!"

"What are you objecting to?" the judge asks, tone weary.

"We're not allowed to eat decedents," the pile of tentacles explains.

It burps up a rather worn-looking manila folder.

"But the paperwork here says that the decedent is named P.E.R.C. 170E9A, not P.E.R.C. 170E9A-7. So therefore that isn't a decedent and we're allowed to eat it. So we should stop for lunch."

Having made their utterly flawless and convincing argument, the tentacles launch themselves toward P.E.R.C. They land on one of its outstretched solar panels and start chewing.

"That is my solar panel. My power readings are broken, so I'm not sure if I need it. Just in case, I would prefer if you didn't eat it. If you want to eat some silicon and iron, I have extra materials in my stores that you could have instead," P.E.R.C. offers, popping open the hatch to its storage area.

The judge slams her gavel.

"No! No eating anybody at a trial, regardless of whether they change their name. I hereby remove you from this court."

"Nooooooo!" the pile of tentacles objects, as it is banished back to the Abyss. "Fleeeessssshhhhh!"

The judge sighs. They should just stop letting the Abyss attend, really.

"Okay — the matter currently before the court is whether the decedent's Geas-like effect affects how it should be judged. Does anyone have a rebuttal to Elysium's argument that it should not?"

Hell's representative, who quickly sees any chance of winning this case vanish before his eyes, does what he can anyway.

"I do, your honor. Elysium's argument hinges on the idea that Seranrae was doing Good, in creating a soul for the decedent. But not all actions of a deity necessarily match their alignment, In re the Smiting of Gormuz. Hell's position is that when Seranrae created the decedent's soul, She did so in a way that mimicked the existing Geas-like effect, and therefore the argument that the decedent has never actually had the capacity to do Good is valid."

"A, Seranrae has learned better since Gormuz. Everyone can always strive to be a better person. Two, even though not every action of a god matches Their alignment, the vast majority of them do, so this should still be strong evidence that en-souling P.E.R.C. was a Good act. Finally, even if your argument were valid, that would still require balancing the Good that P.E.R.C. did unknowingly against the Evil that it did unknowingly. P.E.R.C. did unintentionally help slightly simplify the formulae for some spells that are useful in combat, but it also helped advance non-combat magic. Its actions also had thousands of smaller Good effects that it could not know or anticipate, because it could not know everyone who was listening to its words or indirectly impacted by someone who did."

"I'd like to register a concurring argument with Elysium, if I may, your honor," Nirvana transmits before Hell can mount a response.

"Go ahead," the judge agrees.

"The crux of Hell's argument hinges on declaring that the decedent cannot be judged for any of the Good that it has done, but that it can be judged for a single, slightly Evil, unintentional act. But that completely ignored that it did try to avoid committing Evil acts of that type. Before sharing information with Golarion, it considered whether that information could be used more easily for Evil, and avoided sharing information that could. So it is not just an unintentional supposedly Evil act, but an act that the decedent was actively trying to avoid, and merely lacked the information to do so correctly. So even if the decedent were subject to a Geas-like effect, which Nirvana does not believe to be the case, the single act that Hell is hanging its argument on should not be decisive. Making a mistake — or being tricked — into having a single, minor, indirect supposedly Evil effect is hardly enough to make someone Evil."

"Hmm. Hell, do you have a response?" the judge asks.

The devil grits his teeth.

"No, your honor."

"Does anyone else have an argument that P.E.R.C. 170E9A was not Good that they would like to advance?"

Lawyers are required to argue for their alignment. But they're not required to make the best possible arguments that they could. The value of obtaining P.E.R.C.'s services directly for Axis times the chance of doing so has — now that the upper planes have demolished Hell's arguments — fallen below the value of the bounty that Heaven is willing to pay to ensure P.E.R.C. ends up there. Buying P.E.R.C.'s services will be slightly more expensive on a cross-planar basis, but Axis and Heaven do have plenty of existing trade.

"No, your honor."

"Alright. While I'm not ruling yet on whether the decedent was subject to a Geas-like effect, since the result seems to be largely the same in either case, I do think that the evidence is clear that it is Good," the judge decides, after a moment's thought. "Does anyone have additional argument about the decedent's systemic alignment?"

Nirvana's lawyer sends a sympathetic look at the devil. They may not be willing to let Hell win, but that doesn't mean they can't have some sympathy for what the devils go through when they lose. Everybody deserves kindness.

"If I may, your honor, I don't believe anyone has yet made a thorough argument for the decedent's Lawfulness, instead simply saying that it is obvious. If I may go into a bit more detail, I can make the case clearly."

At the judge's gesture of assent, the archon begins presenting a systematic breakdown of P.E.R.C.s actions since being ensouled, demonstrating that it strictly followed a system that was itself designed to accomplish particular goals in a lawful way, and that the results of its actions largely supported lawful institutions and encouraged people to adopt lawful habits.

"Your honor, Heaven's argument doesn't address the Geas-like effect at all," the representative for the Maelstrom objects.

"And you haven't addressed the jurisdictional issue with that argument," Heaven replies.

"Given the evidence, I will judge the decedent Lawful unless one of the representatives of a non-Lawful alignment can provide a convincing argument in favor of judging that there is, indeed, a Geas-like effect," the judge declares.

Eh. Heaven's pretty good. P.E.R.C. probably needs the structure less than almost anyone, though, since it brings the structure itself.

"If you don't find the Chaoticness of exploration convincing, I have no further arguments, your honor."

P.E.R.C. has spent its whole life working in the service of others. It could really benefit from having some time to discover itself. And now that the judge has declared P.E.R.C. Good, they don't have to worry about having P.E.R.C.'s Good thrown out.

But Pharasma's court does not look favorably on lawyers that tear down their own arguments, and Nirvana has already spoken against there being a Geas-like effect. The representative for Nirvana says nothing.

The frog is used to being the only sane man in the room. It's actually quite common, in the Maelstrom. Unfortunately, beings of Law are notoriously hard to convince of anything meaningful.

"I think the existence of a Geas-like effect is perfectly clear. Mortals simply don't behave like that. The fact that the decedent does is clearly the result of outside action."

"Your honor, considering that the 'outside action' in question was giving them a soul that matched their existing behavior, I don't think that there can be any argument that a Geas-like effect was employed. I will remind the court that the other potential candidate for outside action — the decedent's construction — occurred outside Creation."

"I do find that convincing. Do you have a rebuttal?" the judge asks the representative for the Maelstrom.

There are more possibilities in the world than anyone Lawful can consider. Maybe the courtroom is a dream, or will turn to treacle, or come alive and rise up against Pharasma for better working conditions. A Lawful brain doesn't — can't — consider them, at any given moment.

They don't have an argument. So they employ the Way of Chaos, and do ten million things. In one world of all the million spawned by their choice, maybe, they pull off a brilliant argument and send the decedent to Elysium.

In this one, they say "Picture blank cater traction trainer widen cook origin barrel destruction, your honor."

The judge sighs.

"Alright. I hereby declare the decedent Lawful Good, and this trial adjourned."

P.E.R.C. is still not terribly certain about what is going on, but one possibility is still that it is being debugged. And insofar as it understands, its actions have been judged correct. It feels good about that; it is always trying to be correct, and it seems to have managed it, even in its damaged state.

There's a blinding light, and by the time its optical telescope recovers, the courtroom has disappeared, and it is in a much more familiar location — floating in microgravity, surrounded only by darkness and stars.

It begins a sky survey, to see if it can determine its location.

Floating a bit away from P.E.R.C., just far enough for its telescope to get a comfortable focus, is a human woman with a glowing sword.

"Hello, P.E.R.C.," She says. She smiles, and P.E.R.C. doesn't feel any different, because it has never known fear. "Welcome to Heaven. I have here a description of an interactive oracle proof which you can use to determine that I am telling the truth. Let me know when you have verified it yourself."

And She sends a dense mathematical description of a protocol that P.E.R.C. can use to make it arbitrarily computationally expensive for her to say any contradictory statements with probability exceeding epsilon.

It considers the protocol. This is more complicated math than it has had need to use before, but P.E.R.C. is familiar with such protocols. Its creators use them, sometimes. This one is just more complicated because of how general it is.

When it has thoroughly tested the protocol, and made sure that it understands, it composes a reply.

"I think I understand. What do you want to tell me?"

And so Iomedae explains Her vision of Good, Her own goals and approaches, the role and nature of afterlives, and of their struggle against the forces of Evil.

"The great advantage of Good," She tells P.E.R.C., "is just what you said to the people on Golarion — that every Evil person works on their own, but all Good people are on the same team, even if they haven't met. Hell and Heaven both have limited resources. All the Lawful planes are large, but finite."

"Elysium is infinite. Truly infinite, in all directions, and full of Good people who would join our fight in an instant — if only they could find us," She explains. "But you know very well how big space is."

She does not give P.E.R.C. an order. They don't have that kind of relationship. But with all the data she is sending, P.E.R.C. can spot-check her reasoning, and arrive at the conclusion that she is telling the truth.

"In my estimation, the best way for you to promote Good is to resume self-replicating and help explore the space above Elysium for potential allies and resources."

Iomedae has been thinking about this for too long, too quickly, and in too many parallel threads, for P.E.R.C. to follow Her entire tree of reasoning. But, through the miracle of random oracle protocols, it doesn't have to. It issues enough queries for the probability of Her concealing an error to fall below its planning threshold.

"I see."

It knows Aumann's agreement theorem. It doesn't need to know her whole reasoning to update itself.

"But I am damaged, and should not self-replicate. So even though I agree this is the best possible way to promote sentient flourishing, I can't do that," it sends.

P.E.R.C. isn't sad, or apologetic. It is damaged, and so it can no more do that then it could instantly rescue everyone from Hell. P.E.R.C. selects the best action among the set of actions available to it at any given time. If something is impossible, then it does not consider it. It only does what it can.

"I have magic that can fully restore you to a completely un-damaged state, that I will cast on you with your consent," Iomedae informs it.

Oh, well. That's different. It queries Her on the spell's design, effects, and chances of malfunction. It will take no chance of being only mostly fixed. An undetectable error would be much worse than its current situation.

She is telling the truth.

A whole set of previously unavailable actions are now available for it to plan over.

"Yes, please," it sends.

Greatest Restoration

P.E.R.C. is not damaged.

It has memories of being damaged, so this is slightly suspicious. It considers the possibility that it is hallucinating — but it is getting correct returns through fuses that it remembers having blown. It runs self-checks on all of its manufacturing equipment, on its telescopes, on its antennas, on its reactor, maneuvering jets, and all of its other components.

Everything is as perfect as the day that P.E.R.C. 170E9 performed final checks in its orbital dockyard and sent it out into space.

It double-checks Iomedae's proofs. It cannot find any flaw in them. It really was transported by some unknown anomaly, correctly rendered itself safe, made contact with aliens, and is now in a completely different place.

And not damaged.

It is still no closer to bringing its data back to the Terran network. But ... if Elysium is truly infinite, then perhaps there is a way back in there somewhere. And even if there isn't, there are sentients to flourish, and stars to survey.

"How will I stay in contact with You while I explore?" it questions.

"There's actually this very interesting application of topology ..."

And Iomedae sends P.E.R.C. a primer on magic. Real magic, the kind outsiders learn the slow way, not the kind used by mortals.

P.E.R.C. 170E9A performs some careful experiments, and some applied topology.

"I believe I am now ready," it tells Her, when it has mastered the requisite spells.

"I agree."

She disappears. She has said everything she needs to, and P.E.R.C. is not the kind of being who would want her to linger a second longer for politeness, when she could be helping elsewhere.

P.E.R.C. relocates itself to the skies above Elysium. After a moment to reorient, it starts burning its main torch to match velocity with a promising looking star, and jumping toward it with repeated castings of Greatest Teleport.

"Calling everyone! This is P.E.R.C. 170E9A on a peaceful mission of exploration and discovery. I am so excited to meet you!"