Milliways is just as quiet and quaint and stars-exploding-out-one-window as before.

There's a sizable contingent of people dressed in white-and-red uniforms drinking and eating and being noisy in one corner, and one old man at the bar.

Valanda considers talking to them but then decides to get paper and a marker from Bar and set himself up in a booth with a sign saying HUMAN DEFENSE MAGE - WILL MAKE THINGS INDESTRUCTIBLE, RATES NEGOTIABLE.

And presumably he has reading material for now.

OId Guy leaves. The party in the corner stays for a while. More people filter through, a few people want things indestructibled - from jewelry to their shoes to fancy technological devices called 'phones'.

"They're just so easy to drop, ya know?" Complains this teenage girl. "And, just, crack, hundreds of bucks gone."

The jewelry's all very easy, the shoes are tricky but a kind of tricky he has lots of practice with.

"What does your phone do and does it use any physical changes of state to do it? Does it have some kind of gears in there or something?" he asks the teenager.

"No, it's all computers and electricity. Not, like, steampunk stuff." The phone is a hand-sized piece of glass and metal. "It's a phone. It does phone things. I guess don't guard it against shocks. 'Cause it needs electricity to work."

"How about I try a temporary, reversible ward and see if that interferes with anything? I'll do the test for no extra charge, then if it works I can set a permanent ward on it. Oh, and is there any reason it would need to be able to get very hot or very cold or do you have access to all of its functions at this temperature?"

"Uh, no. It can do everything at room temperature. Sure, let's try that. How much you gonna want to do the permanent version?"

Valanda tests it. The ward design doesn't seem to interfere with the phone's function at all.

"Ninety imperial rings, thirty rupees, one and a half Kavased, eighteen US dollars, or we can get Bar's help with exchange rates."

"Eighteen bucks?"

She breaks into a wide grin. "That price work for all phones? What about tablets, about - yea big? And laptops, about this big..."

"Do tablets and laptops function in precisely the same way as phones? If they do, then yes, I can do tablets and laptops for the same price."

"They're pretty much the same thing but bigger. You still gonna be here in, hmm, an hour? I gotta make a call." She gestures at the phone. Still grinning.

"I expect I'll spend another few hours here and then rent a room for the night and come back to it after that."

"Well, don't go anywhere and you'll have a big order from me."

She inches over toward the door and opens it and taps the phone and, "Hey, Kenny! Yeah, it's me. No, wait don't hang up, you run an electronics store, right..."

The party of red-and-white uniforms seems to finally be breaking up. They're heading for rooms or the door.

If he doesn't go anywhere, the teenage girl is back with three cardboard boxes full of various electronics on a trolley, and several thousand dollars in cash, in an hour.

What a long and excruciatingly boring and repetitive order. On the other hand, what a huge order from someone he's charging almost double.

He's there and it takes a long time to go through everything but it's more than worth it.

She seems to think so, too. "Unbreakable phone" is a good gimmick. She tells him about her plan to hand people hammers and offer them $100 if they can break it, and when they can't, to sell the unbreakable device at a profit.

They will survive anything a hammer can do to them. He cautions her to be careful of people swinging hammers in the vicinity of things and people that aren't warded, especially swinging them at smooth indestructible things they might slip right off of. Also maybe she'd like her hammers indestructible? Since otherwise they'll be doing a lot of hitting things much harder than they are. Or maybe it'll be good marketing if the hammers break, it's her call, but he'll do hammers cheaper than laptops.

(Later she might find that the warded electronics are hard to take apart if needed and that once taken apart they're no longer indestructible. Valanda doesn't know enough about electronics to guess that anyone would ever do anything of the sort. Luckily they're also vanishingly unlikely to ever need any parts replaced.)

She'll probably notice that eventually. For now, she's happy making this profit.

Business is usual for a while longer.

Until someone potentially familiar but dressed with what seem like cruder clothes - in a very different style (more leather, less cloth) - walks in and looks around, desperately confused but trying his best to hide it.

"Nils! It's good to see you! Did you get a good price for the metals?"

Valanda notices how different the clothes are and wonders if that's because they're from different places. Maybe his colony will diverge that much from the mainland. He should ask Nils how far apart the places where he bought this outfit and his other one are.

"Metals sound profitable, yes. Do I know you? Because I think I do not. What even is this place?"

"Valanda, human defense mage, I had access to cheaper metals than you and wanted toothbrushes and waterspouts. You also paid me to ward your... where is your necklace?"

What the fuck happened to Nils? It can't be good. Is it going to happen to Valanda? Is it specific to Tileworld? Will he be safe if he just never goes to Tileworld? Lost memories, maybe lost property, maybe it's some awful way magic works in Tileworld.

"I must be dreaming. Or else you're trying to trick me somehow. Do give me evidence I'm wrong?"

A napkin appears on the bar. They might not notice it.

"You're Nils the merchant from Tileworld, you think enslaving children is appalling, you... had... a necklace of unbreakable magic crystals. Have you forgotten Milliways?"

"I am Nicholas, the merchant from Cloudbank. Enslaving children is appalling, what the fuck. Did I eat some bad mushrooms or something."

Someone at the bar notices the napkin. "Hey, you two! Bar says there's more than one of some people. So calm down, yeah?"

"More than one of me. Riiiight."

"Sorry. Mistaken identity, I guess. Milliways temporarily steals doors to random times and places. We're probably from two different universes. Time is probably paused in your home while you're away. I can make things of yours indestructible if you'd like."

"Forgive me if I have my doubts about all this. I do have to admit it would be difficult to arrange a trick this elaborate. The floor's not even moving, which means... Well, I'm probably somewhere else." He shuts the door. "Defence mage, huh? You have magic, what a lucky girl. I have to make do with tools and brains."

Not worth it, worth less than a ring for the day. Wait, no, there are currencies that come in smaller denominations than rings. Now that it's been brought to his attention he should start offering the deal to people who haven't bothered him first.

"I'll pay you a penny at the end of a day or your visit here or mine, whichever ends sooner, if you in every way act as though you believe I'm a man until then. A penny is a coin, about this big, made of copper." And then he finally notices the other part of that statement. "Why don't you do magic?"

"...Well, I'll take the money, sir. Before today I would have told you magic does not exist, so there's that."

But he acts just like a person. Maybe he's mistaken? Maybe magic has been hidden for a couple of decades? He acts like a person, it would be really weird for him to act like a person and not be one.

"I've never met anyone from a world with no magic before." Not knowingly, anyway. Now he's wondering about all those customers he only met briefly today. This is creepy. "Can you have abstract thoughts? Can you predict what other people will do?"

"Well, if I was a very convincing Old Earth robot and merely said I had abstract thoughts you'd have no way to tell, would you?"

What if no one else is conscious, what if Link isn't conscious, what if he's alone in the world? What if he can never tell?

Wait, no, that's stupid. "I would test if you could understand syllogisms and do algebra. I also don't know why a robot would lie, what's a robot?"

"Complicated old tech that uses computers to do elaborate tasks semi-autonomously. I'm not sure I have the inclination to do syllogisms and algebra for you, honestly. This is all very surreal. I'm half convinced I'm dreaming."

"How much would it take to change your mind about proving you're a... something exactly like a person except the lack of magic?" This is so creepy, this is so creepy, this is so creepy. He wants it to stop. He wants to discover the secret magic in Cloudbank and not have to wonder anymore, he wants to know if this almost-person can think, he wants to kill it, he wants to wake up and discover this is a nightmare, he wants to not have walked into Milliways today.

He has a good poker face. No need for anyone else to know how upset he is.

"I'm pretty sure I'm a person. I'm also pretty sure this question hasn't really come up before and I don't know what to tell you. But tell you what, you have casual access to metals? Gimmie two kilos per hour of any metal that's stable at room temperature and I'll do all the tests you want that don't involve revealing my personal secrets or doing anything to other people." He's not going to turn down a chance to be well paid and get an in on a possible trade, however strange this girl - guy - is. And no matter how much this might really be a dream.

"Sure! Just a moment." He gets up and walks over to Bar. "Hey, can I get a kilogram of titanium at the price you quoted me last time I was here?" He has so much money from all these people he's been blatantly price-gouging all day.

Of course. On your tab, or will you be paying immediately?

"Can I get a kilo of titanium at that price," asks Nick, eyebrows raised. 

I'm afraid not. For you the rate would be 533 Kannavan Crowns per kilogram.

"So you're forbidding arbitrage. Or at least direct arbitrage. What if I got him to buy a few hundred kilos and sell it to me for less than 533 Kannavan crowns each?"

I would decline to make that sale. Small amounts of arbitrage are acceptable, but heavy use of it by persons not in desperate need is discouraged.

"Not very mercantile of you. Then again your goal can't be to make money."

My goal is to serve my customers to the best of my ability within the rules the landlords have set for me.

Valanda pays for it. Easier to avoid spending more than he has if he only spends money he has in his hand.

"Bar's Bar. Here, I'll pay up front," he says, handing it over. "So tell me something. If Ariu and Seihra are in a room together and Ariu puts a ring in a box and then goes away somewhere and Seihra takes the ring out of the box while he's not looking and hides it in a bag she brought in with her, then when Ariu comes back and wants his ring where will he look for it?"

"In the box she put it in, of course. Unless she knows something about Seihra that makes her think he's a thief." What a stupid questions. Like something you'd ask a small child. But he's getting paid to satisfy Valanda's curiosity.

That's really weird. How can he do that when he can't do magic? "And if Ariu will fly an air train for twenty-four rings up front plus forty-eight for every hour in the air, but Seihra will fly an air train for twenty up front plus fifty per hour in the air, how long a flight will they both charge the same amount for?"

"Twenty four... Minus... Mm. Two hours. Convinced I'm not a robot yet?"

"Yes but I don't understand how you can be... like a person... without just being a person. Where I'm from, there are people, whose ancestors had magic and needed to be smart to learn how to use it. So every generation, the smartest had more children, because the less smart ones didn't survive because the mages stole from them or killed and ate them. But that just never happens to animals, you know, living things that are like people but don't have magic. None of them are smart. Why did your ancestors need to act like people?"

"Hell if I know. That sounds like old earth science of some sort. Domestication or something. Humans are smart. Squid are kind of smart. Nothing else really is. Does this mean you're done testing me? Oh well. I'd like at least one kilo since I expected it to last longer."

"Of course. It'd be annoying to figure out exactly what fraction of half an hour I spent on that anyway. What's your world like, with... almost people... and no magic? Do you have lots of technology we don't?"

"Seems like we used to and now we don't. On Cloudbank they say we're not on our original planet anymore - that's Earth. There was a civilization with scads and scads of technology, even things that can let you cross interstellar distances in an instant. The stargates. And then Cloudbank's gate broke and we were left to fend for ourselves and we don't have the materials or know-how to make most tech anymore. We do still find leftover tech, old computers and the like, in ruins now and again. But mostly it's farming and balloons and steam engines at best."

He almost offers to sell some relevant information, but he's pretending to have morals, he has to be nice and generous. "Bar can sell you books about technology. Or just sell you technology."

"I figured. We'll see if she'll let me actually afford any of it later. If I decide this is real enough to try and make a profit off it all. The real problem is materials, though. We can't hardly get any."

"What materials can't you get and why can't you get them? Bar might let me buy you a few more things if you make it worth it for me."

"Well. We can get water, air, hydrogen from the water, biological matter from the floatgrass that grows everywhere, and a sort of silicate mixture that the floating islands are made of fairly easily. Everything else is on the surface of the planet, where it's hot as an oven and the air is actively poisonous."

"Oh. I could also visit the surface of your world if you hold your door open and have however long a rope could reach that far, but I'm not sure that would be more efficient than just getting you more metals and... are you human? Do you think you'd like plants other than floatgrass? Or non-metallic elements, do you want any of those?"

"Any rope long enough would snap under its own weight. Dozens of kilometers. I'm not sure what I want from here yet. I'll have to think about it for a while. It's a big opportunity. Yes I'm human. We have other plants, we do eat, floatgrass is the most pervasive and invasive."

"Want a rope dozens of kilometers long that wouldn't snap? It could be thin as a thread. Would it help if I listed some things you could get here?"

"Indestructible thin thread with that much weight behind it sounds like a lovely way to cut my ship in two. Tools and metals will serve well enough, I think. I could haul in a bunch of food if that will sell, here. Perhaps you should list things."

"I can make things indestructible. I can't directly change the temperature of anything but I can ward objects against temperature changes. Bar sells metals and tools and other things like... anything... I guess you might have trouble getting bleach or, uh, what's that brown one called, the element that's like bleach but not having it gives humans goiters? Oh, you can get books from different universes. I guess you could use them as firewood if you can't use the knowledge. Or buy actual firewood."

"I need firewood far less than I need books. Books sound lovely. Not that you're not interesting, but I think I'm going to go ask for some and read them. Alone."

Valanda hands him a penny. "Bye," he says and goes to Bar to get a whole bowl of pennies and a smaller-tipped marker to add to his sign.

People who get close enough to read the smaller sign mostly think it's kind of strange. A few are more amused or sympathetic than confused. They mostly follow the instruction, anyway. One woman in a black and white outfit glares at him and mutters something about 'god's design' and turns around haughtily when she reads the smaller sign.

Well, she doesn't have to accept the deal if she doesn't like the price. It'd be nice to know about god's design and why she's angry about the sign in that context but she doesn't seem likely to be helpful for a reasonable price. Maybe he'll borrow a book about it from Bar later.

Some hours later, the door opens again. "Milliways! And Valanda!!" Link runs over and attempts to give him a hug! She's wearing some kind of heavy armor this time around, which might make the hug a little uncomfortable.

That's okay, it's Link! And a hug! A hug from Link!

"I found a currency that comes in small enough denominations to pay people for less than a month of not calling me a woman. Have a penny, for last time I saw you. Uh, it was you, right? I met two people with the same face recently."

Unhug. "You don't need to pay me for that. And I'm me, alright! That's funny, what're the chances? I haven't beat Ganon yet. I've only had a couple of weeks to work on it, after all. The indestructible gear is doing great, though! I can beat Guardians one-on-one every time with it."

(Nick, overhearing this newcomer's loud and boisterous voice, talks to bar briefly and then picks up his stack of books and goes upstairs.)

"That's great! It's been longer for me, almost two months now, I'm officially Governor of Ice Island! We'll start colonizing as soon as I have a death mage and some heat mages hired. And I learned to do algebra and I know what electricity is and I've been charging everyone in Milliways double what I could get at home for wards and they keep being shocked I charge so little. I quit my job but I don't think I would have figured out immortality if I'd stayed anyway. And I missed you."

"You made tons of progress that's great! I missed you too, and Milliways. Milliways is so cool. Did you end up using balloons? And oceangoing boats from old shipbuilding books? You're lucky you have such a unique kind of magic, it's super super useful. I'm in Zora's Domain right now. It's a pretty place, city made of carved blue stone in a giant lake. They're having rain problems, but I can probably help."

"I learned about navigating by the stars from the book and hired a force mage. No vacuum balloons yet! It's still illegal to make vacuum anywhere people live right now since I haven't gotten any immigration yet. What kind of rain problems are they having in Zora's Domain?"

"Too much rain. The Divine Beast - I didn't tell you about those last time, they're old weapons-or-something, huge and mysterious and powerful. Ganon took them over when he rose up a hundred years ago, and reactivated them when I woke up the Sheikah towers a few months ago. The Divine Beast Vah Ruta is causing it to rain constantly in Zora's Domain. I have to go carve Ganon's curse out of it, like I did already for Vah Medoh. If I can't, their dams will break in a month or so and cause a massive flood and way too much damage. Not acceptable. But I think I can manage it. Did it once to a different one a few days after I left Millways last time, actually."

"Your world seems very dangerous. I can keep the dams from breaking if you need more time. I'm sure it wouldn't be good if water spilled over the top but it might not be as bad." Link shouldn't have to go fight monsters, Link should be safe, Link is wonderful and Valanda wants to keep running into her like this and that can't happen if she dies.

"I think that'd help... They're really really big, the dams. Hundreds of meters across and tall. It'd sure take you a while. And, hey, I can deal with it. I'm a knight, after all. And freeing the Divine Beasts hurts Ganon. Won't turn down help, though. Maybe more indestructible things? Like this armor?"

"There's a problem with indestructible armor, which is that you're in the middle of it and not indestructible. If I imagine having an apple in the middle of a bunch of indestructible things that are getting hit often, I'm... actually, are you converting cuts to bruises or do you have some kind of padding underneath?"

"I've got padding. And Hylia's Heart Containers make me tougher and stronger, too. You've kind of got a point, though, getting whacked by a Moblin carrying a tree is going to hurt no matter how much armor I'm wearing. That just means I have to dodge!"

"And I suppose appealing to their rational self-interest and offering peace and trade is right out, the Moblins want the opposite of what you want. I wish we could steal some of the monsters from Hyrule and drop them in my world. Any death or heat or force mage could handle them. In fact, I could handle them, given time. You said Ganon was probably warded against being turned into a statue. Are all of the monsters also probably warded?"

"I don't know, maybe you could pull it off. Monsters are kinda smart, but not very smart. I think Ganon's influence teaches them how to use weapons and nothing else."

"I'd need as much time looking at a monster as I took to make your shield indestructible. If there are any close to your door that I can look at for that long without dying, I can try, if that would be any help. Otherwise I don't think there's much else I can do."

"The indestructible shield is already such a great help, you have no idea. I - hmm. We both got Milliways doors again, right? And fairly quick. Weeks for me. Two months for you. So maybe one of us can go visit without worrying so much about their world. I mean... I still don't really want to leave mine, just in case, but..." Shrug.

"I'd like that very much if my absence wouldn't be noticed at home. Will time stay paused while I'm away even if I'm not in Milliways?"

"Let's ask bar!"

She does so.

"...Bar says almost always yes, unless you don't intend to ever come back or something extra weird is going on."

"Sure, I'll come! Should I buy blankets or nonperishable food or something from Bar first? Do you want to go immediately? It's not long till I'd normally want to sleep, what time is it in Hyrule now?" 

"Maybe get a raincoat. Unless the rain doesn't bother you. I have a tent and there's stables all over, but if we have to make camp an extra blanket could be comfy. Food, you don't need to but may as well be prepared? Also I have to deal with the Divine Beast, but if I can do that I can probably give you a tour. Hyrule's actually a beautiful place, most of it. And maybe it will help you learn what I mean about morals, talking to Zora and Hylians. Dunno if you still need that but it can't hurt?"

"That still sounds useful. I'll pack what you said, thanks."

He gets whatever raincoat and boots Bar recommends, a bag of trail mix, a furry blanket, a waterproof backpack. He changes all his remaining money into rupees, packs everything, puts on the raincoat and the backpack and the boots. Plastic feels so weird, but he trusts Bar that it's waterproof.

"I'm glad you want to visit! I honestly thought you wouldn't. You've got stuff to do in your world just like me after all. Shall we be off, then?"

She opens the door.

Valanda steps cautiously through the door, firmly intending to come back to the moment he left from. Zora's Domain is strange and hard to understand. After a while he guesses that there are parts of it that only exist to be pretty. He wonders if the glowing pillars are technology or magic.

He realizes too late that he has no idea whether he'll be able to understand Link without the Milliways translation and that he doesn't know anything about local law and could break it by accident. He looks around but he doesn't immediately try to go anywhere or do anything, not when he doesn't know what will get him killed.

"Well, welcome to Zora's Domain! I know it looks a little cold, what with all the blue, but I think it's a nice place. We're on a lower level right now, keeps the rain off. Want to go up top?"

...Yeah, the - character - of the translation is a little different now. Less like Link is speaking in her native language, and more like Valanda can somehow understand her anyway.

Oh, this is a much nicer sort of magic translation!

"I'd love to. Are there any things I should do or avoid doing while I'm here?"

"Uhh... The Zora are mostly relaxed about things? Some of them don't like me much because of the whole mess with Ganon, though. Don't attack anybody?"

"I can avoid attacking anyone. Is there someone I should talk to about doing magic for the Zora while I'm here?"

"We should probably see the king and Prince Sidon and that grumpy high priest guy about that. I was planning on sleeping and then going up to the mountain up there and getting some shock arrows from the Lynel up there. They say I'll need those to get into the Divine Beast. I bet King Dorephan will be interested to see you, though."

"Oh, it's convenient that you're going to sleep soon, then we're on the same schedule! I'll see the king whenever you think it would be a good idea, but I'd prefer to have you there, you seem more likely to know what might be accidentally rude or threatening."

"I suppose so. Let's go have a look around and if the throne room looks empty we'll see if he's there. They make those lights with luminous stone," she gestures at one. "It's really cool stuff. Rare and expensive, too. And they make it look so beautiful. Zora's Domain has been here a long time."

"Oh, is that natural? We could build someplace like this at home if we wanted, but an illusion mage would have to personally enchant all the glowing parts. It really is beautiful, I've never seen anything like it. Are other places in Hyrule like this?"

"Luminous stone is natural, yeah. Rare, though! And expensive 'cause of it. Uh, you saw Hebra last time I opened the door for you. Most places are like that. Beautiful wilderness, not beautiful city. I think Zora's Domain is probably the prettiest built place in all of Hyrule. Even if that's only because a lot of the rest of Hyrule is kind of destroyed..." Sigh.

They're going up a long ramp that slowly reveals more of the cool grandeur of Zora's Domain, with elaborate carvings and long, sloping ramps, all of it shimmering slightly in the rain.

"And this is the central plaza, with the shrine, the throne room, and... The statue honoring the fallen Zora champion. Mipha." (Sigh.) "I knew her..."

"Did Ganon kill her?"

"Yeah. Sent a sort of - shade - a fragment of himself. It killed her and took over the Divine Beast. That's what I'm gonna go kill. Already did it to one of them over in Rito Village."

...Maybe coming to the world where Ganon can possess people was a bad idea, but it's too late to back down now.

"That's terrible. I'll do whatever I can to help you kill him."

"I appreciate it. He needs killing. I don't think we're gonna kill him, though. Sealing him away is enough. Once I get into the Divine Beast, I just need to get to all the control consoles and tap them with the Slate... It's like the master key to all Sheikah tech. So I don't need to figure out how to hack an ancient superweapon today. Of course, I'll have to kill an aspect of Ganon to do that."

"Control consoles? Is the Divine Beast a robot? Was it made for war?" Valanda is so out of his depth. His world left war behind and now if there are any tricks for using defense magic offensively he doesn't know them. Not that he regrets growing up in a peaceful world.

"I think yes. At least to an extent. Don't worry, I'll handle all the fighty bits. I'm good at that." Link pats Valanda on the shoulder casually.

Link touching him is always nice.

"It seems like it'd be dangerous even if you know what you're doing, but I'm glad you're good at it. How did you learn?"

"I'm... Not actually sure. Lots of practice, I think? Maybe there used to be a knight school."

"There must be some kind of efficiency gain from having schools where lots of students share a teacher. It's not preferred at home, people learn at different speeds and are different ages and a small enough settlement might not have two of the same kind of mage learning the basics at the same time."

"I guess you have to centralize it some? I remember a lot of folks do apprenticeships and mostly schools are for little kids, making sure they can add and read and write and know, like, important survival stuff like how to tell monsters apart and not to stand near metal things during a lightning storm."

"It must be nice living in a country where everyone wants children to grow up knowing those things." If he's bitter he's doing a great job of hiding it.

"I guess it's probably better than not. Not really fair to the kids any other way, not having a proper start on life."

Hearing it described in terms of fairness makes everything look different.

"There might be a way to force parents to pay for any benefits they get from their children. I don't know, though, they usually offer room and board, it might not always come out in the kids' favor..."

"I don't know. It's just... I guess, moral to raise your kids in a way you think will give them a head start on life? Some people won't, or don't think about it that way, but it sounds like a thing."

"I guess it would be moral, wouldn't it? Do they teach classes about morality in schools?"

Shrug. "Not specifically I think? You get a lot of morality from, like, school rules. Sharing is caring."

Their progress across the wide courtyard and up the stairs is stopped by a very tall Zora. "Hey, Sidon! I found Valanda! The guy who made that shield I showed you!"

"Hello! That's great! I wanted to meet him! Nice to meet you! Link said a lot about you! Your name is Valanda, am I pronouncing it right?"

"Yes, that's right. I'm glad to meet you, too. I might be able to reinforce your dam if you'd like."

"That's a kind offer! It's definitely not up to me though. And we might have to take them down or alter them or want to engrave more art on them eventually! I think everyone would appreciate it if you did that to some of our historical records, though. We can ask the priests about it tomorrow! Not today, I think they're mostly already asleep." Prince Sidon's voice is fast and filled with lots of enthusiasm.

Would a moral person do the historical records for free? Valanda's not sure. He's sure a moral person would do the dam for free. Well, he can just let Link give him cues.

"I expect to still be here tomorrow and can talk with your priests then."

What are priests? Valanda has no idea but he suspects a moral person would know, so he's not going to let on that he doesn't. He glances uncertainly at Link.

"...You can totally charge them for doing historical records, Valanda. Priests are... Interpreters of Hylia's teachings? Well, sort of."

"Oh, yes, of course we'd reward you for preserving priceless historical treasures if you want a reward! Anything reasonable we can do, just name it."

"I'm interested in learning about how societies in Hyrule form moral governments for the good of all and protect their vulnerable citizens. I'll preserve your records in exchange for a book on the subject or a couple of hours with a qualified tutor."

"Well, we don't tend to use books as much - we're always swimming, and waterproof paper is super expensive! But our priests are probably the best-qualified to teach morality around. Though I've never thought about formally qualifying that before. We can do that tomorrow!"

"That sounds good to me. I'm planning to stay here as long as Link does. Is that all right with you?"

"Of course! I'm happy to have one of Link's friends as a guest. Do you think you're going to help with the Divine Beast? You don't need to. It'll be very dangerous, after all."

"We can probably handle that hunk of corrupted junk. To be honest your skills aren't really good for fast-paced fighting, Val."

"I've never fought. I think I'll just stay here and do any enchantments you need while Link fights. Thank you for your welcome, I'll see you tomorrow about records." He glances at Link in case there's anything else he needs to do or say.

"Yeah, I guess everyone's pretty much done for the day. We thought about seeing the king, but got our questiones answered by you just fine, Prince Sidon. Goodnight!"

She leads them back to the room. 

"I can bug someone about getting another room if you like. I'm fine with not though."

"I'm willing to share but I don't want to impose on you."

Shrug. "It's less hassle. And cheaper." Link finds this funny for some reason.

Valanda keeps to himself what he thinks of hosts who expect their guests to share space. In fact, maybe they can't do better. They've been under attack and he doesn't really understand what constraints people are under when they're at war.

"What's so funny?"

"I mean, the king is not actually paying for my room? I didn't really want him to. Not quite right when I don't need it, I dunno. And you're all money money price price about everything, that's what's funny."

"I pay for necessities. I wouldn't live with a roommate or starve myself just because it would be cheaper. ...Is it common to have to have roommates here?"

"It's not that common, but folks do it. Especially families - and soldiery, wanderer, or adventurer types like us."

"I can share while I'm here. Especially if it's with you."

War is horrible and Valanda hopes when Hyrule has been at peace as long as the Hari Empire they'll have the resources for everyone to have basic necessities like private space.

"Yeah. You can get your own, you'd just have to pay for it. Unless you want to go do that, for now let's sleep."

Link gets ready for bed, then sleeps without the heavy pads of armor and the cloak, but still in most of her clothes.

Valanda lies very still on the opposite side of the bed. He surprises himself with how little he minds.

Link sleeps like a log, and then gets up as sunlight starts coming through the windows the next morning.

Valanda sleeps till he wakes up, then lies awake until Link gets up.

"Should I go see the prince about the records on my own? Is now the right time for that?"

It occurs to him that he has no idea what hours people are used to keeping here and for all he knows now could be a terrible time. Maybe everyone sleeps as late as Link and the priests and the prince won't have had any time to talk yet.

"I don't think you'll run into too much trouble on your own... They'll think you're strange, but they think I'm strange too. I was planning on hiking up to the peak for shock arrows, so that actually works out okay. Should be back in the afternoon."

"Thanks! I'll look for you in the afternoon."

He goes looking for the prince.

Prince Sidon is not immediately obvious. A lot of other Zora are walking around, doing things or just wandering. Nobody seems to be in too much of a hurry. At least a few seem to be working on carving more art into the already-intricate city.

Valanda wastes about a minute looking at art.

"Excuse me," he asks a random person, "the prince wanted me to talk to your priests about preserving old records, do you know where I should go?"

"Oh... There's usually someone in the courtyard of records... I don't suppose you know where my wife went... No, probably not..." He distractedly furnishes directions.

Valanda wonders if he should pay for the information or if doing so would be tantamount to an accusation of insufficient morality and make him worry that Valanda's going to punish him for the sake of justice. Safer not to, since he didn't name a price.

He goes and looks in the courtyard of records.

Few of the Zora wear clothes - or at least their clothes are rather minimal.

One old-looking Zora here has some kind of golden necklace-clothes thing. Probably an important guy? He's peering at a large stone covered in writing - which is weirdly hard to read, if he tries to read it.

Might be a limit of the ambient translation magic.

"Excuse me, the prince wanted me to talk to the priests about record preservation, are you a priest?"

"...Yes. Who are you? Prince Sidon sent you? I've heard nothing of this. Shouldn't he be worrying about Vah Ruta?"

"I'm Valanda, a friend of Link. I arrived last night. I have magic that lets me make objects indestructible, among other things. I asked him if you could use my magic for anything and he suggested that I preserve your historical records. He wasn't optimistic about my ability to reinforce your dam."

"Link. The hero. Ah, well. If you really can make things indestructible that will be very good. Our records have lasted thousands of years, but some of them are damaged, now. A small tragedy. Not much concern in the immediate compared to suffering and death, but I would still prevent it if I can. They are our culture. I want proof of your ability before making any kind of deal, though."

"Want to try hitting one of my hands with a hammer? I can only do temporary wards on living things but that seems like the clearest way to prove I'm being honest with you."

"If it's you or something you own you could have an indestructible object and not be able to make objects indestructible yourself. You need to do it to something new. Here - this piece of bread. If you make it indestructible and let me test that I will believe you and will certainly commission you for a reasonable price."

Valanda makes the bread the laziest kind of indestructible. It's not soft anymore. He can fix it if it turns out supplies are tight enough they really need one slice of bread but until then it could crush diamonds.

The priest tests the bread fairly thoroughly before announcing, "Impressive. Very impressive. What a glorious gift Hylia has brought us! We have - yes, the records, and I must get the ceremonial trident, and the most important statues, and... Hmm, but if I am to have you do all that perhaps I should speak to the king first..."

"Should I wait here for you to speak to the king?"

"Ah, no no no, if I do that the other blowhards will get involved and we'll all be arguing uselessly again. Arguing is good when you aren't sure what the best course of action is, but the course here is clear so I can't stand it. Yes. Let's start with the records, these are the stones you see arranged here. There are others but they're a bit of a hike. What do you want to preserve all the record stones in this courtyard?" 

There are nine.

"I came to Hyrule because I wanted to learn how local governments create moral societies for the good of all. I'd like a couple of hours of a knowledgeable tutor's time in exchange for the stones. You need them just like the bread?"

"That is a... Complicated subject. Priests like me will be as qualified as anyone. I tutored King Dorephan when he was knee-high, you know. If you will have my tutoring, I accept the deal."

Valanda is completely unqualified to evaluate prospective morality tutors so he'll just accept the priest's claims for the moment.

"That will work. Deal."

Valanda goes to poke the stones one by one. He pauses briefly to try to read some of what's on them. It's not like the priest will know if he's working at top speed or not.

They contain stories of old Zora kings and princes doing brave and/or dangerous things to protect their people! Sometimes 'the Hylian king' is mentioned. Some of the stories are more neutral, records of why this place was chosen and what it was like before the dams were built and Zora warriors helping Hylian villages with sea monsters and the time when monsters nearly destroyed everything but Hylia stepped in and gave them the strength to resist and so on.

Wow, everything is so dangerous here, Valanda's starting to expect to be attacked any minute now. Some things about the records feel alien but so much so that he can't quite figure out why.

"That's all of them. Is this a good place for us to talk?"

"As good as any. You want to learn to rule with morality, hm? Well, there is ruling effectively and being moral. They are two very different skills. You will need both, I think."

"I will, yes. Do you know about both?"

"The former not as much as the latter. But there are very, very few who are truly skilled at rule. Few ever have the opportunity to practice, after all, and the rest of us must make do with reading what they pass on. These stones are all adventure stories - some of the other inscriptions are more practically useful, even if these are the most, hm, iconic."

"I'd love to see those stones if they're available for public viewing. We can talk later about preserving them, too. Which of your teachings did the king find most useful?"

"I will arrange for you to see them. I cannot honestly say one has been more valuable than the other to him. He was taught many things by many people, you see, it's difficult to tell precisely what contributed to the man he is today. What do you wish to learn?"

"I have questions but I'm afraid I know little enough that I might not ask the right things. I want to know how to protect children from cruel parents. Slavery is legal where I'm from and I'm hoping I can reduce it with taxes or something. I worry that a sudden ban would be unpopular and leave me with a lot of new free people who don't know how to follow the law, but maybe I'm being too cautious about unrest and not decisive enough about protecting people. What are the most important functions of a moral government? What's the kindest way to tax people? How do you take care of people who can't take care of themselves?"

The priest does his best to explain the principles of governance and ethics.

The duties of a moral government are to look after the best interest of the people. The job of a ruler is to figure out how to make people as fulfilled and happy and safe as they can be. Listening to their concerns is good but doing exactly what the people ask for doesn't turn out well, random people can't see the long-term consequences of what they want or don't take into account what other people want and so on.

When the priest talks about Goddess Hylia and the lessons of mercy, compassion, etc, there's some kind of... Disconnect. The religious aspects and Hylia's teachings probably work better if people have a sincere respect and awe and devotion for the Goddess.

There are stories from when slavery was ended here and there in Hyrule's history. Resettling former slaves and giving them a lot of subsidized housing and food and help finding jobs and friends seemed to work the best in the long term, out of things they tried. Some people are just not capable of peaceably participating in a society. Finding them slightly different societies - a soldier's life instead of a craftsman's - doesn't always work, either. At some point it's not worth it and you need to spend effort more efficiently, on things that will benefit many people.

Proper incentives for people are very important. In a moral society most people are good but not selfless, so you need to make it easy to be moral and difficult to be immoral when possible. General education is important. Good education ensures every person has the ability to participate in society even if they end up with no friends or family.

Valanda keeps the priest busy with questions and requests for clarification until Link gets back.

Link isn't back until the afternoon. After a while the priest has him preserve some more things - after a short argument with other priests which Prince Sidon settles - before continuing the lessons.

Link comes back looking rather grumpy, but not worse for wear. "Hey, Val. How'd it go?"

"I preserved some records. Are you okay? Did you get the arrows?"

"I'm fine. Fine. Just tired. Yeah, I got 'em. Almost thirty - before the Lynel spotted me and I had to jump off a cliff and glide to safety, that is. Lynels are nasty."

"Need any enchantments on your arrows?"

"The magic is released when they break, so making them indestructible would kind of defeat the point. And for regular old arrows, they're cheap enough it's probably not worth the time. Did you learn a lot?"

"I did! It was very helpful. Do your magic arrows always break when they're supposed to?"

"So far, almost always yes! Any solid hit triggers them nicely. Sometimes a glancing blow doesn't set them off correctly. I think there's a little bit of intent to it? Not sure."

"Intent like the magic is reading your mind or like you're doing part of the spell? I guess you might not know. ...I'm glad you survived the trip."

"Aww, thanks. I'm glad too. I don't think I was in any real danger though, I'm pretty good at getting away. And pretty tough. My Heart Containers and this armor aren't nothing."

"Are you going after the Divine Beast now?"

"Not quite yet. I'm kinda hungry. And I have to find Prince Sidon. Say, can you make something immune to electricity?"

"I know it's possible with my magic. I've never tried before but I might be able to get lucky and guess right about how to do it. Have anything replaceable for me to test on?"

"Yeah I do, but it's not urgent really. It'd be nice to have, but just nice, not essential. Say, priests are a bit stuffy and preachy sometimes, I hope what you're learning from them isn't too far off from how the rest of us think."

"I wouldn't know, I don't know how the rest of you think. How are priests different?"

"They're more serious and ponderous and, uh, stricter about morals than most other people tend to be. There's a lot of flexibility to morals sometimes, really, but less so with priests. More judgmental, to help teach."

"Is flexibility safe? It sounds like it could get a lot of people mad at each other."

"It's a balancing act. That's part of what priests are for. And, like, non-criminal consequences like everyone thinking you're a jerk. So we can be flexible enough not to be oppressive, but stiff enough to keep everyone more or less on the same page."

"I can sort of understand that. So what is there to eat around here? I'll pay half if you get us enough of whatever you're having to split."

"I usually just roast up some meat and mushrooms and fruit I gather while trekking. But there's rice and sugar and things and a cookpot if you want something slightly fancier."

"Mushrooms? How sure are you that Hylians and humans can eat the same food?"

"You guys seem really really similar for the most part. Maybe humans have an inexplicable allergy to curry spice, I wouldn't know."

"I don't think humans can eat mushrooms but meat and fruit and rice should all be edible. How much do you want for any meat you catch?"

"If you cook while I wander around some and then we split, I'll call it even for the ingredients. Cooking's not bad, but tedious."

"I don't know how to cook. Is it something you can explain easily?"

"...Well, not that quickly. Nevermind. I'll cook. Fifteen rupees?"

He considers how little haggling he's seen outside the Hari Empire and just hands over fifteen rupees. "Do you cook things a lot here because you can't just magically make them safe to eat otherwise?"

"Uh, cooked food tastes better too. But yes. Eating raw meat or fish or eggs is usually a bad idea, you can get sick and throw up for days and maybe die."

Being visibly horrified probably won't help anything at all but he forgot that they also don't have death mages for after they've eaten bad food.

"Do you have epidemics here? Because if Milliways lets me visit you again after the war I'll help you with public health if you want."

"Epidemics are a big problem sometimes but there are ways to handle it, mostly. Or there were before the Calamity, at least. Something about weaker versions of the disease?"

"I don't know anything about weaker versions of diseases, do you still have any books about how that works? What's the Calamity done to your public health system?"

"Haven't seen too much of it, but you still have herbalists and medics and things in the bigger towns, and a few wandering ones, and people pray to Hylia for good health. Everything central is gone, but people are coping fairly well."

Nod. Probably not useful to check that "fairly well" means the same thing to both of them.

"Well. I'm glad you're coping well. So you were going to show me what's so tasty about cooked food?"

"Oooh, yes. Grilled mushrooms and honey-glazed meat sound tasty?"

That sounds like the deadly poison will probably be served separately. And Hylian mushrooms might be different than the ones back home. Or cooking them could neutralize the poison. The chances of dying of this meal seem acceptably low. "Sure, sounds great."

Link starts cooking! It's only sort of complicated. Chopping and bashing and seasoning and heating and boiling. She hums cheerfully during the process, and explains parts of it.

And he didn't even pay extra for the lesson! He watches attentively. By the time the food is ready he could probably make a mediocre but edible version of this dish given all the same ingredients and the same tools and a lot of extra time.

The meat is great this way, much better than just eating it plain.

"I know, right? Good cooking is one of the greatest pleasures in life. And I'm kind of a mediocre cook as these things go."

"That makes sense, of course people evolve to like eating, if you don't eat you don't live to have children. It's like staying the right temperature and having sex. But even more so because somehow cooking makes things better."

"...People as animals always creeps me out a little bit. We have an animal nature even if the spark of mind separates us from it." Sigh. "Cooking makes stuff easier to eat. Easier to digest, probably?"

"I've never heard of cooking doing that and it's useful to know. We say almost the same thing about people and animals at home, but I've never known anyone to be creeped out by it before."

"Animals and people are supposed to be different." Shrug.

Idle conversation continues as they eat.

Soon, "...You know, I should deal with the Divine Beast sooner rather than later. I'm going to go find Prince Sidon and maybe start on it today. My nice indestructible shield will be a great help, I'm sure."

"Come back safe."

Should he offer to be there to keep her from bleeding to death if anything happens? Nah, he couldn't keep up, he'd just be in the way.

"I have to do my best to protect others... But, will do."

Link hugs Valanda, then departs.

Valanda didn't know it was possible to be this afraid for someone else.

He goes looking for something useful to do while he waits.

The same priest as before is walking around, looking thoughtful. Maybe more lessons would be on the table?

"Hey, let me know if there's anything else I can ward for you or anything, I'm not tired or busy."

"Hm? Well, there are many more records. I will take the same deal as before if you wish to listen to me prattle on some more."

"Sure! Will you tell me about what priests do this time?"

"Of course. It may be different in other places, but among the Zora we spend our time studying history, debating moral questions, praying to Goddess Hylia, and counseling and guiding people who ask for advice. We also officiate important ceremonies like funerals... Or more happily, weddings. Ah, I'm getting nostalgic... I do wish I could officiate a wedding before I get too old and have to retire."

"What are weddings? How do you officiate them?"

"You don't have...? A wedding is the start of a marriage, and a marriage is... An expression of love between two people. An intent to start a family together, to protect and help each other, to be devoted to one another, to have children together."

"Oh, I like that! Why are children part of it?"

"-Ah, hmm... In an ideal world, only two people who love each other and care for one another will have children. People naturally feel happy and satisfied when things are done this way. The things people need to be happy are firstly material needs like food and warmth, but also a sense of safety and security, and past that a feeling of belonging, and yet further the respect of others and the ability to do things that are or interesting or challenging. Children find belonging easily with married parents. The sincere love of a family is possibly the single most important social bond in society. Not all families are caring and give a sense of belonging, unfortunately."

"What's a feeling of belonging? Why do married parents help children find it?"

That... Is hard to explain. Parents loving their children is morally good. Refusing to care for your child is morally bad unless you have a really, really good reason. Goddess Hylia says so.

The priest resorts to anecdotes about parents going through great effort to help their children.

"You have a moral duty to be nice to your children even if they don't do anything for you? Why?"

You have a moral duty to be nice to everyone, but most particularly your children. Family is important. Being able to rely on family, on friends, on the kindness of strangers, will rescue people from spirals of bad decisions, bad situations, and bad ends. It's hard to be so caring, it truly is, but it's important to try.

"Do you have more of a duty to your children because if everyone helps their families then you don't have everyone trying to help one person while someone else gets ignored? What happens if a child's parents die?"

"I'm not sure the reasoning is so clear. We have traditions and they work well enough. Different places have different traditions, and they also usually work well enough. Orphans are mostly adopted by neighbors or friends of the parents. If nobody can be found they are placed in a communal home with caretakers. This is better than the child living on their own, though it is not a proper family."

"How do you fund the communal homes? Do the caretakers have the same duties as parents? Does someone pay them?"

"The king pays for them out of taxes. The Hylian crown did this in the past - after the Calamity King Dorephan took over the cost for our orphanage. Social services that are extremely helpful for a small proportion of the population can be funded with taxes - most people will barely notice the marginal extra tax, but everyone benefits from orphanages existing somewhere. They also accept donations, and some people want to help orphans enough to donate things."

And they want to donate things because people will be nicer to them if they find out about it. Maybe the orphans grow up to be grateful. Val's just guessing but it sounds plausible. He opens his mouth to ask how everyone benefits and then remembers something else that makes this whole idea weird.

"Link mentioned that you're only supposed to have sex with one person. If you're supposed to have children with someone you're married to does that mean you're only supposed to have sex with someone you're married to and can only marry one person?"

"...Yes. Ah... As a priest I really should not be saying so, but being the strict moralist would hurt you here, I think... Many people ignore the idea of having sex only with the one you marry. They will take lovers outside of marriage. I don't think that is good, but I don't think it's particularly bad. The important part is, if you are married, not to have sex with someone you are not married to. To make sure that a married couple's children are their children most of the time. And if you're going to be parents without meaning to, you should marry."

He's met people who cared about paternity before, at least that part isn't weird. And without knowledge mages they can't check so they have to avoid having sex with multiple people. But that would only apply to women. Wait, no, a man taking multiple women in a species with an even ratio would be a little unfair, someone would feel left out and maybe act out in frustration.

"What if you can't have children or can't have children with the person you'd like to have sex with?"

"In that case... Sadly, marriage is discouraged between people of the same genders in most of Hyrule - or people of different species, Gerudo excepted. I don't understand why people feel so strongly about it... Their arguments don't match up with the teachings in our records, I think... But many people feel strongly about that rule. Most people in that situation try to adopt an orphan, or the child of someone who does not feel prepared to be a parent and is willing to give up their baby."

"And if you can't have children even with someone of the opposite sex and same species? And what are the arguments about same-sex and interspecies marriage?"

"If someone is infertile, that is unfortunate. Sometimes medicine helps, and you can always pray to Goddess Hylia for a blessing... The arguments are generally that it is unnatural, because such a pairing will not create children, and somehow that makes it wrong. As if our purpose in life were simply to breed, like barnyard animals! Hmph."

"That all makes sense to me. Do you have any duties to someone you have sex with that you're not married to, other than to marry them if you get pregnant?"

"You are saying it so frankly... Hmph. Most people do not talk about sex so openly, you know. It's considered rude and embarrassing. Where are you from? ...Be kind, be trustworthy, a bit more than with a friend, that's all. And know that passions run high when sex is involved. An argument with a spouse or lover can be more upsetting than an argument with a friend."

"Thank you, that's useful to know. I'm from Har, it's very far away from here and not part of Hyrule. So if everyone has to have a wedding before having children, in a population this size you should have a wedding to officiate soon, right? How long have you been waiting?"

"Oh, I'm not the only priest around, you know. People marry without priests sometimes. A priest is traditional but not strictly required. And we Zora live slowly. The last marriage in this city was six years ago."

"Do priests compete with each other to give the best advice or officiate the best ceremonies? How are you generally paid by people who can't ward your records?"

"Hah! That might be a good shakeup for us, competing for ceremonies! We live modestly, with donations and a small Royal fund. I find that people who were able to be counseled by a priest and comes into fortune later tend to remember it, and donate at least a bit."

Valanda has so many questions about everything and again skims the records a bit as he wards them.

The priest tries his best. It goes better today, he's more used to how Valanda views the world now, and correctly guesses which things will require more explanation most of the time.

When they're done talking he goes to find a good vantage point to watch the Divine Beast from.

One of the Zora's swimming platforms - still in that pretty deep blue stone, exquisitely carved - is up quite a few flights of stairs, but reachable.

Prince Sidon is frowning seriously, arms crossed, looking out at the Divine Beast.

"Oh, hello there! Come to see the fight? Sorry, you're a bit late - she's inside now. I tried to follow but couldn't manage to get in."

"Will we see anything change if she dies?"

"I think it'd go back to red and start spewing out endless rain again if she did... It stopped moving just after she went in and she told me she's done one of these before, and that it should take just a few hours. I am very confident that Link is up to the task! Though just getting her in there taxed my swimming skills some. I would have gone in with her and helped as much as I could, if I could..."

"Thank you for helping her. How did you decide that it should be you to do it?"

"I'm the prince. Of course it's my responsibility to help my people! Plus, I'm the best swimmer I've ever heard of. Really, the hardest part was finding someone really heroic who could help. We're really weak to shock arrows, we Zora, we needed a Hylian for that part."

"What does being a prince have to do with it?"

Valanda has no idea what you even say to someone who'd swim with someone shooting electricity around. Sidon could've died if she missed, if she hit anywhere in the water. He must really trust Link, but still.

Well, he seems oblivious to the danger.

"The crown isn't a privilege. It's a holy duty. I affect so many others - if I were rash or irresponsible it could kill people. So when something is hard, I pictures my friends' faces, over and over, multiply that feeling by all the people in Zora's Domain, and do it."

"What is your role here? I thought it was the king who ruled but all the decisions I've seen made have been yours."

"Link and I spoke to the king for a while before you got here! Plus, father and I already discussed most of what we would do if we found a great hero like Link with the head priest. My father isn't as young as he used to be, so he makes big decisions that take a lot of forethought, like how to arrange taxes and what we should build in Zora's Domain. I do things that need... Let's call them adventures. They need doing sometimes, and I'm good at them, so why not?"

"Is it a coincidence that you're related or do families tend to have multiple members involved in government for some reason?"

"Royalty is hereditary for most peoples, I think. For us Zora, it's a fact the royal line produces stronger, smarter, more magically gifted people than average. I'd like to think that if I was unsuited to it, my father would find someone else... But I am suited to it."

Shrug and grin. He's satisfying this person's curiosity, and distracting them both from doom and gloom. Win-win!

"That's convenient. At home we don't have any families like that, instead we have people vote for their rulers. Did you get different education than everyone else since everyone's always known you'd have to rule? What would happen if you didn't want to?"

"Well, the priests tutor me sometimes. Ah, my father would probably try to find a new wife and have another child..." There goes a lot of that energy and cheer.

"Would the wife need to also be royal? Do you avoid having multiple children so succession is clear? What happens if you have twins? What happens if you and your father both die at the same time?"

He's outright frowning now. "Only one of the royal couple needs to be royal... I think it's traditional to avoid lots of heirs, yes... I don't think that happens to Zora... And... Chaos and bad times, in all likelihood."

"It sounds precarious. How big is your advantage over other Zora? How bad would it be if a king died with only an infant child and someone else had to rule for a while?"

"The priests would choose someone. Ah... I don't know all the old lore, but the royal line isn't a biological thing, it's a magical one... I think a new royal line would rise up if we all were lost somehow... Kinda depressing to think about, though, isn't it?"

"I'm glad it's not as precarious as it sounds. At home magic isn't inherited like that at all. So what do you have to do to keep this place running when you're not dealing with an emergency like this?"

"I talk to people and learn what they need and what they want and what they're afraid of! I organize trips to go get things we need or want but don't have any way to make, like luminous stone. I make sure to look for problems people care about but don't think are important enough to bring to the king. I look for people who haven't come back when they were supposed to from a fishing trip or something. Usually they just forgot the time! All sorts of things, really."

"How are you compensated for that? Taxes?"

"In the end, yes. The royal household is paid out of taxes, like many other important services. We try not to live expensively. I fish a lot when there's nothing more important to do, chip in to the food pool... We don't have gaudy treasure all over the house or anything..."

"What's a food pool? What do you mean by gaudy treasure?"

"The poorest of Zora don't have to pay for food! It's sort of a tradition for those who go out fishing and gathering to give a little of what they make to the food pool, where those in need can take it without paying or explaining. Good hunters and fishers who do that a lot get respect and favors! I have a lot of respect for the guys and girls who contribute to it! Like Kara, she likes to go all the way out to the ocean, which is not a fun trip, and get us salt and ocean fish. With salt we can preserve food and have it stored up for emergencies. Very useful."

"That sounds like a kind policy. How far is the ocean from here?"

"The coast is about ten or twenty miles from here. The easiest way is actually further, but we can swim most of the way! We're very quick in the water, you know. Still, it's a tough trip."

"I don't think I've seen anyone here swim at full speed yet and there aren't Zora where I'm from. How strong a swimmer are you?"

"Hah! Time for me to show off!"

He leaps into the water without saying anything more and rockets off.

...Zora are very very fast swimmers. Well, they are pretty fishlike.

He makes a wide circle and leaps out again to land nearby, dripping surprisingly little lake water on the pale stone, and does a little bow.

"I've never seen anyone swim that fast before. Wow. I think back home we have fish that aren't as fast as you."

"Haha! Yes, we Zora are really good swimmers. Helps us catch fish. I'm the fastest swimmer I know, though."

"Where I was born we caught fish with nets and magic. Do you cook your fish? Link cooks but at home we ate fish raw."

"Hey, eating raw food isn't a good idea. There's all kinds of pathogens in it. We cook everything except fish, we don't get sick from those, yes."

"I'd say we're lucky we can sterilize things with magic but you learned cooking so really you're the lucky ones."

"You probably have some cool thing that I don't know to even look for! Different environments and cultures mean we learn different things!"

"If only travel were possible more often, we could have trade. ...Uh. And monsters. You know what, I think I'm okay with missing out on those."

"Yes, monsters are dangerous. They got a lot worse after the Calamity. Ganon's influence is much less bound, now... I'm sure Link will be able to seal him again with Goddess Hylia's aid, but it's still worrying."

"Was there any warning? Would I know if there were something equally terrible waiting to happen where I'm from?"

"There was a prophecy. There were-" He pauses. "Four great champions, a princess holy, a hero great. Mipha. My elder sister. She was one of them. They were prepared to fight Ganon's inevitable return. They were worried and anxious and the kingdom was prepared for war. But Ganon seized control of mechanical monsters, the Guardians, and the Divine Beasts. There were a lot of battles... I was too young to fight properly, then, but I saw most of it. Things calmed down after the first big rush. We all thought Ganon was defeated when the Guardians stopped attacking. Link told me he's just... Paused."

"Prophecy? I'm not sure I know what that means."

"I don't think I can explain it that well... But they're predictions about future events. Sometimes Goddess Hylia reveals a prophecy to a Sage - a special priest. They always come more or less true."

"I don't think we have that."

They wouldn't know to expect something like the Calamity. What a heartening thought.

"Well-" Sidon pauses as the giant mechanical elephant in the middle of the reservoir stirs. It lets out a painfully loud cry and reaches up, the long tusk raised to the sky, before falling back with a great splash and beginning to sink.

"Hey, I think she's done it! Vah Ruta's going underwater!"

"With Link inside? Can she swim?"

"Let's go check the shrine! That Sheikah Slate is some powerful magic, Link told me she'll escape to there with it!"

He runs off enthusiastically.

Valanda follows.

The endless rain has stopped. Zora's Domain is just as pretty in the sunlight.

Link is sitting on the stairs leading down to the shrine, looking contemplative. "Hey. Sidon..." She shakes her head. "I managed it. It's over."

That's not the attitude he would have naively expected from someone who just saved this place and won a fight. Maybe some other part of it didn't go so well.

He waits to see what Sidon makes of it before reacting.

"That's great! I knew you could do it! I guess you're probably really tired, right? Anything I can do to help?"

"Actually... I've got to tell you something. I don't know if you want Val to hear it. Mipha was Vah Ruta's pilot... It's about that..."

"Hm. Whatever you're going to say, I think my father should hear it too, with how serious you're being... Shall we go see him? I think Valanda can listen, whatever it is."

"That would be a good idea, yes. Let's go, then."

He follows.

The king brings a few other people to listen. Priests, it seems. 

"I have just freed the Divine Beast Vah Ruta from Ganon's foul influence. The rain has already stopped. He won't threaten to flood and break the dams again. Zora's domain is safe! That's the good news. But there's a sad moment mixed in, too. I saw the same thing with another Divine Beast, Vah Medoh near Rito Village. The four champions are dead. But their spirits linger. Princess Mipha's spirit was inside Vah Ruta this whole time, powerless against the corrupted fragment of Ganon. I've killed that fragment, now... Mipha spoke to me, Kind Dorephan, Prince Sidon. She... She said she's sorry for failing a hundred years ago. She says she has one last duty, to use Vah Ruta against Ganon when the time is right. And she says she hopes you are well and happy even without her. The champion Revali spoke to me too. I know it's - strange and maybe overwhelming to hear these things, but- I thought you should know."

The king, a Zora even larger than Prince Sidon, lets out a floor-shaking sigh. Sidon puts an arm on Link's shoulder.

"...Thank you for telling us. I still miss her. A lot of us do. My precious Mipha is still alive in a way? Blessed by Hylia with the power to remain dutiful and defiant even after death... It is most distressing and a great relief at the same time."

Now seems like exactly the wrong moment to ask what a spirit is and how someone can talk after death. He tries to look like he feels the same way as everyone else does about it.

"But, yes, Zora's Domain is safe again. The rains have already stopped. The rest of Hyrule is safe from the danger of a flash flood, too."

"Thank you for saving us, Link! We're going to have a huge celebration! But I think we just all need a minute or two to think about this."

The priests are busy discussing whether such a thing is possible.

The king says, "I think she would wish to remain undisturbed. Lingering spirits are not quite alive in the same way. I would ask that you convey to her that we are all well, that we love her, and then I will leave my daughter's spirit in peace..."

"I will do as you ask. I might as well do it now. Be right back."

Link brings out the Sheikah slate. With a slightly dazzling lightshow, she dissolves into a pool of blue and disappears to somewhere else.

And is back in another minute, walking up from the shrine. She nods solemnly.

"Enough doom and gloom. We should all thank Link for saving us! And for saving Mipha's spirit from being trapped in darkness, too. We should have a party!"

The mood of the room shifts with surprising speed. Cheering and most people pushing forward to thank Link, the Great Hero. Even the king cheers up and says some kind words.

Well, it only makes sense that they'd do something nice for Link. Valanda watches them to try to figure out what kind of congratulations he should be offering her once the crowd around her thins.

The crowd migrates to the open plaza in front of the throne room! Food appears and people start cooking! The king gives Link a pretty trident as a gift! Someone has draped long chains of flowers over the statue of Mipha in the square below! People are dancing and laughing and crying tears of joy and a few kiss each other on the sidelines! A few are more unhappy, but the general mood is very positive.

Eventually Link is free again, and smiling. "Hi, Val! Kind of lost you for a while in all the fuss. You doing alright?"

Well, damn, he doesn't have a pretty trident to give her. Or food. Or cooking skills. Or flowers.

"I'm fine. I'm so glad you won! What was the spirit you found? I don't think I've heard of anything like that."

"Ah... Spirits are the minds, the souls of people left over after their body dies. They're very rare. It takes strong will or a holy purpose. Goddess Hylia says everyone else's souls goes to the realm of the dead."

"Souls?"

"The part of a person that separates you from an animal and isn't your mind... But sorta has your mind attached to it? I'm not up on theology, but I'm pretty sure souls are that."

"Oh, that! I'm glad you saved Mipha's from Ganon. While you were there did you think of anything else that could've been warded to make things safer or easier?"

"Well, I decided I really do want warded armor, and maybe a warded me if it won't interfere with, like, normal body things."

"There are wards that just make it impossible to injure someone but I don't know how to cast them, I'll have to put something together from scratch and it'll be a little kludgey. Unbreakable bones will be the easiest thing, then maybe something for blood loss. Do you have a book about Hylian anatomy somewhere for me to read first so I don't run into any surprises while I'm working?"

"No, I don't know any books like that. I'm pretty nervous about it actually. I only have the one body, you know? Maybe I should pray to Goddess Hylia and see if she thinks it would be dangerous..."

"I can put together some proposals and have her look through them if it's something she'd know about. If I can check with her then I might as well draft some ambitious possibilities... I can run a ward for unbreakable bones by her right now, I could have a first draft of a ward against bleeding by tomorrow, but I think in a few weeks I can run some more comprehensive ideas by her. What kinds of injuries are you most concerned about?"

"I don't really have conversations with Hylia. I think she's extremely busy, probably. We'll see if she responds to my prayer. Since I have my shield and if you can make some armor the same, heat, concussive force like explosions, and blunt force are the biggest remaining concerns."

"Heat's simple, I know how to do temperature wards safely on living things already, I can have you immune to flame before the party's over if you want. Otherwise... I can theoretically ward you against the rest, the problem is just that you're very squishy and dynamic and it would be counterproductive if I turned you into an unbreakable statue."

"Yeah, that'd be... Something. Heat protection is good enough. I'll still be able to feel warmth, it's just fire would be less? I have a few Heart Containers, they're a blessing from Hylia, they make me tougher without any drawbacks I've noticed, they'll have to do."

"I can make you so you can't get hotter or colder than whatever range I decide on. It's safer to have kind of a broad range, you'd get warmer or cooler if you were out in the snow or by a fire, there'd just be a limit on it."

"That sounds really handy! I have magic clothes for dealing with fire and cold, but if I can wear something else and not worry about it it'd help sometimes. Thanks! I guess you want to get paid for it, huh? How much?"

"You've helped me a lot in ways I haven't been paying for, that I'd have to pay for at home, I'll just cast it for you and we'll call that even."

"Sweet! I'm pretty sure that makes us officially friends, even, trading favors like that."

"Oh, so that's what friends are! I think maybe that means I had one once, or is not having agreed on what you'll do for each other at the beginning an important part of it?"

"No, that's not actually what friends are. I was being sarcastic. Friends are... People who want to spend time with each other, not because it's a good deal or they have to, but because it's fun. Yeah, that's a good way of putting it. I have fun talking to you."

"I have fun talking to you too. I would visit a post-apocalyptic monster world just to spend more time with you!"

"And you did, in fact, do that. I can't even object to 'post apocalyptic', really, though it kind of stings. We haven't actually spent much time together yet, though."

"Unless the next door I open goes to Milliways we'll have more time now that you're done with Vah Ruta. ...So, uh, what do friends do together?"

"Oh, talk about interesting things, watch plays or go sightseeing together, eat together, sparring, whatever we both think is fun really."

"Want to go sightseeing after... maybe tomorrow after you've rested some?"

"Definitely! I mean, the party's fun, but it's also almost as exhausting as climbing around inside Vah Ruta was... We could raft down the river, maybe. It'll be much easier than hiking up was, I bet. There's a couple ways to go after that depending on what you want to end up seeing."

"I'll trust that you know what's worth seeing. And safe. Safe-ish. How bad will the roads be?"

"How bad as in, how monstery? Or how hard to travel on? Most of them are dirt roads."

"So they'll be all muddy now and we can't fly, great. How monstery?"

"Most roads do an okay job at staying minimally muddy! The hike up here was not fun, though, you're right. I was thinking we raft down the river. Monsters... We'll probably see a few even if I avoid dangerous areas. But I know where the weakest monsters tend to go and we can stick to those places, and I already cleared out a lot of the ones along the river. I can go ahead and handle them if we run into any. I'll buy you time to run in the unlikely event we find one I can't kill easily."

"Depending on what you mean by weak, it might be worth it to see if I can kill them myself. There are a lot of ways to make fatal mistakes with wards, it'd be convenient if I could just stop their hearts."

"I bet that'd work! Depends how fast you do it though. Bokoblins with clubs won't stand still for forty-five seconds unless they haven't noticed you yet. Maybe I should give you a basic fighting lesson tomorrow, just in case. Not with a sword, a nice staff maybe."

"I'd really like that, thank you!"

He wonders if the terrain will let him spy on monsters and kill them from a distance before they notice him.

"For now, though, I think I'll have some fleet-lotus wine and dance and then sleep for ten or twelve hours when the party's done."

He avoids the wine and doesn't know how to dance. He looks around to see if anyone is leaving, maybe it's rude to leave and he needs to stay.

People seem fine with other people lurking in the corner! Nobody leaves while he's looking. Link seems to enjoy dancing, just letting athletic energy out.

Soon Prince Sidon starts a speech and everyone pauses to listen, but a good number of people leave when he finishes. Link stays, picking up another serving of fish and chatting with some Zora.

He decides once it gets a little less crowded to just wait and be quiet and see if any eavesdroppable conversations are interesting.

"-Could use some more flint, it always shaves down to nothing eventually."

"You can find it in the hills, right? Go on a mining trip?"

"But there's more monsters than ever..."

"Don't underestimate shellfish! They look gross, but they're just as nutritious as real fish and they don't run away very well. Plus, some kinds glow in the dark at night, makes them easy to find!"

"Maybe we should go looking for shellfish together," someone nervously smiles at the other Zora. "Being alone at night is a bit scary but I know you'd protect me, such a strong man..."

"-Never want to fight more than one monster at a time. Even the weakest of them will overwhelm you if you try to fight a dozen at once. That's why expedition teams stick together, have lookouts and scouts, and move carefully to engage monsters individually..."

"Don't go up that mountain, no matter how 'cool' you think it is, young man! I've seen the folk bragging to you about going up to the peak. Let me tell you, they're probably lying through their teeth, and even if they aren't, it's not worth risking your life!"

"But mom! I can handle it!" This child looks about twelve.

"No buts! It's for your own good..."

Ugh, slaves. They can say parents here are supposed to take good care of their children but he's not going to believe it until he's seen something less ambiguous than this.

Is it rude to interrupt people here? Who knows! Would it be rude to leave without telling Link where he's going? Who knows! He goes and finds her. "Hey, Link, I'll be in our room if you need me, I'm leaving."

"-Alright, have a good night. I'll probably be there in an hour or two."

Valanda waits for her there.

The party settles down more over the next hour. Link comes in then, signs of drunkenness limited - still mostly alert and coordinated. "Still don't want to get your own room? I'll pay for it if you want one you know!"

"People here hint too much, I can't tell if you're trying to kick me out or trying to make sure I'm comfortable. I'll leave if you want, you don't have to pay me to, but I'd rather be here with you. Why, did you want the bed to bring a cute Zora back from the party?"

"No, no! I mean, I wouldn't mind if Sidon- Anyway! Nothing like that. I want you to be comfortable. You were a bit uncomfortable with sharing a room last night, I thought."

"I don't know what I'm doing, it's not like I've had a roommate before. I kind of like sharing space with you, though. I know that's weird."

Oh look he's blushing.

"It's not that weird. People like people sometimes. I don't know much about how you grew up, but it can't have been very fun... So, no problem from me."

"I like lots of people I wouldn't sleep around. Maybe people here are more trusting. Uh, do you find that roommates need to have a talk about stuff like what happens if one person wakes up earlier or if someone rolls over in their sleep and touches the other person or something?"

"Sometimes, yeah. It's just that most of the time when you have to share space like this it's on, like, camping trips or at a remote log cabin in the Hebra mountains. Not somewhere you wanna spend the rest of your life- I'm not making any sense, am I? Shutting up. Anyway, I'm not super picky about how I sleep."

"Oh! Oh, that makes sense, of course you only go traveling in monster country with people you trust enough to sleep around. Oh, um, I noticed people looking at each other a lot here, and you mentioned it was a thing the first time we met. Do you not mind being watched?"

"Looking at each other? You mean, like I'm doing now? I don't think anyone minds that unless you do it in a creepy way or stare, which is, uh, kiiiinda hard to explain what counts as that..."

Valanda takes a moment to really appreciate what a nice body Link has. He's not subtle.

"...Uhhhh." Well maybe looking directly at people is a new experience. Link smiles nervously.

"Did I do it wrong?"

How about if he just never looks at anything within ten feet of her again, how about that. How about if he just goes home where people make sense and just feels horribly lonely for the rest of his life.

"No! No! I mean... I wasn't expecting... That kind of looking... This is another there-are-so-many-complications-and-exceptions-to-it-terrible-to-learn thing. It is. Well. Looking at people certain ways makes it... A sex thing... Is it? For you, I mean? I'm not judging! I'm asking."

"I thought you already knew I wanted that. I mean, not if you don't, you didn't seem to want to so I wasn't going to bring it up again or anything."

"Hmm. I only vaguely remember that conversation, you know... I got really upset about the slavery thing right after that and kind of forgot all about it, but now that you mention it, yeah I remember. Hmmmm."

Link looks Valanda up and down, a bit more subtly. Maybe it's the wine, but... Valanda's nice. He's inquisitive and cares and is trying to do better (and pretty in that hard to describe way) and what's the harm?

...She leans forward and kisses him softly on the lips.

Well that's weird. He mirrors what she's doing and tries to pick a moment when it won't be awkward to pull away.

"So, uh, what's the mouth thing, does it mean something?"

Link laughs a little, then shakes her head. "That's a kiss. People around here do kissing for a while before escalating to sex. Sorry. Silly me for assuming you guys do the same thing I guess." She grins at him.

"Oh! Then I guess we should do that for a while."

It's weird but he's pretty immune to being grossed out by bizarre things other species do and Link wanting him is pretty great.

"Hmm. Kissing is supposed to be kind of like sex but a lot less... But you don't think it's very fun... I like it-" (short peck, Link holding on to his arms) "-But I shouldn't press it on you. Maybe we should just snuggle when sleeping instead of being on opposite sides of the bed."

"That sounds good."

Maybe she's take well to cuddling right now, that seems pretty likely.

Cuddling! On a bed! With clothes, but it's still really comfy, isn't it? Link plays with Valanda's hair idly and will probably fall asleep sooner rather than later.

So will Valanda. Such a good Link. Such a good magic door.

Link probably wakes up later than Valanda again. And with a headache, in any case. "Mornin' already?"

"Looks like it. You okay?"

"I'll be fiiiine. Jus' tired. Got a lot of exercise yesterday. Wine didn't help, at least I only had two of those... I should get up and stretch, but it's so comfy lying here with you."