As the last committees of the day are letting out, a delegate literally twirls out of one of the rooms. She almost bumps into three different people before she cuts it out.
She's also dressed like she's worried that if she left off even one thematic garment or accessory, someone would fail to realize she was Desnan.
A man exits the Infrastructure committee room, clearly in a bad mood and not at all bothering to hide it.
She almost bumps into him, too, even though she's stopped twirling. "Sorry!"
"Watch where you're—" Shit, that's not another sortition delegate. He cuts himself off.
"No, you're right, I was being a little bit irresponsible. Long day?"
"Gods, yes. I signed up for the slavery committee after that monster's proposal during the assembly, and it was just infested with slips."
...
"...Well, you shouldn't say 'slips,' it's rude and they don't like it."
"Why... would I care what they think. They're slips."
"Well, you know, we're supposed to be Good, now."
"If a bandit says 'don't call me a bandit, that's rude' are you going to listen to him? Especially if he's actively stealing from you at the time?"
"If we had another word that meant exactly the same thing as bandit, and bandits all preferred to be called that, then of course I'd use it? And saying bandit when they were robbing you would just be stupid, you don't want to provoke someone who has a knife on you that you can't do anything about."
What???
He was already planning on buying his way into Axis over Heaven, but seriously, what?
"Well, I don't see why I should care what bandits want, and I don't see why I should care what slips want either."
"...We're supposed to be Good, now," she says again, more slowly.
"...what do you think being Good means," he says, in a tone that makes it clear he thinks she is very stupid.
"It means being kind to other people, even if you don't get anything out of it."
"Not like any of them care about being 'kind' to me."
"That would be where not getting anything out of it comes in. If you're only kind to people who are kind to you, that's just Neutral, not good."
Normally he wouldn't pick this fight where anyone might overhear and accuse him of treason, but she's really annoying him. "Abadar is neutral. Aroden was neutral. Pharasma is neutral. There's nothing wrong with being neutral."
She wrinkles her nose. "Enh...I guess. But Abadar and Aroden and Pharasma didn't get rid of Asmodeus."
"Sure, but now he's gone. We don't need to kick him out a second time." He sighs. "Look, I told the slips I'd call them what they wanted if they'd pay for anything they stole from me, and they didn't listen."
"...And by steal from you do you mean freeing your slaves."
"I paid good money for them! They didn't even listen to the priest when he tried to explain why you shouldn't take people's stuff without paying."
"...Okay but like. If you were enslaved in, say, Geb, and someone thought it was dreadfully unfair if living people in Geb stop being enslaved without paying their undead masters, would you give a shit."
"That's different. You shouldn't enslave humans unless they're criminals or something."
"If there's a difference between humans and halflings besides the fact that they're shorter than us, nobody's ever explained it to me, and I don't see us all going to go find the nearest tribe of giants to submit to. It's not like they're gnomes or something."
"If there's a difference between humans and goats besides the fact that goats are hairier and have four legs, no one's ever explained it to me."
"Oh! Goats don't have thumbs and they can't talk."
"So if I cut out my slips' tongues and thumbs, it's fine for me to keep them?"
"Only if the same is true of you and a lich."
"...Liches are undead. You can't just go giving them people."
"Okay, you and a stone giant."
"Are you playing stupid on purpose?"
"Are you?"
Eyeroll. "I'm not the one trying to compare slips and people just because they both talk and have thumbs. Kobolds talk and have thumbs."
"You...realize there is a kobold delegate, right?"
"Sure, and there are slip delegates too, and the bird monster, and some Hellspawn. I'm not happy about any of that."
"Well, you should probably stop, it can't be good for your Good."
"Stop... not wanting monsters to take over my government?"
Eyeroll. "You know, calling halflings monsters is a new one on me."
"If they don't want to be called monsters maybe they shouldn't be stealing from me."
"Does that make you a monster for not wanting to belong to a stone giant?"
"I already own plenty of slips, and they're trying to take them away. I bet if you tried to take something from a stone giant they'd do a lot worse than call you names."
"I don't think being called names or worse by a stone giant would make me a monster. I think it'd make me a dashing adventurer."
"Well, you can go try and steal from one and tell me how it works out for you."
"Or I could steal from you. If I vote to free all the slaves, does that make me a monster, by your lights?"
"It makes you a damn thief." Phrasing intentional.
Sporfle. "Quite the opposite. I'm Chaotic Good."
"Pretty sure stealing is Evil, actually."
"Trust me, if freeing slaves were evil, Andoran would've noticed by now."
Eyeroll. "Well, you can pack up and move to Andoran if you want. I'm staying somewhere where people care about the law."
"Even if the law says your slaves go free?"
"People shouldn't make stupid laws."
Yeah she's laughing too hard to respond to that one right away.
Stupid bitch. He storms off.
She doesn't stop giggling before she makes it to the exit.