« Back
Generated:
Post last updated:
animal empathy does not extend to people
Druids sort of feel like civilization is uncivilized for not letting people sleep wherever they want.
Permalink Mark Unread

In the darkest part of the night, a blackbird lands on a roof in Westcrown. Not on fire? Not just yet? Okay, good. And people aren't stabbing each other down in the streets? No raping and pillaging to speak of that she can see? Gosh, she might not even look like a dumbass after all this. Or maybe she will. Who knows.

The self appointed druid delegate of the Barrowood finds the appropriate building that is supposed to house this thing she's supposed to be here for. Then she finds a nice little nook on the roof of said building, returns to her natural form, sets down her bedroll, and gets to trying to get literally any sleep before having to, ugh. Social.

Permalink Mark Unread

She does not fall asleep before hearing the sound of footsteps approaching. "Excuse me sir or ma'am," says a terrified guard who's pretty sure he's going to end this interaction as a newt, "This is a government building and also a roof. You can't sleep here. I think."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Nnnnnghhh," grumbles the sir or ma'am, who groggily sits up and stares at the guard. She seems to be an elven ma'am, but the only real detail perceivable in this light is the white hair. "You think. I think I know me better than you do. I can absolutely fall asleep here. If you mean I may not sleep here, then why do you care. It's a roof."

Permalink Mark Unread

"It's a government roof, ma'am. So you can't sleep here, unless you have a pass or something. Because you might be an assassin or a public menace or something. And you can't sleep on any other roofs neither, unless the person who owns it says it's okay, right?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"And it's kinder to knock on their doors in the middle of the night and wake them up like you do, and ask sweetly if they wouldn't mind if I do something harmless that won't directly bother them at all? If I'm allowed to sleep on any roof it's probably this one, I was invited." Well, a druid of the Barrowood was invited, but she is one of those, so. Totally her. "Delegate. Druid of the Barrowood. Hi. Can I go back to trying to get any sleep now? I was flying for four hours straight."

Permalink Mark Unread

Nobody told him what to do if a delegate wanted to sleep on the roof! Nobody told him what to do about roof-sleeping in general! He's pretty sure now that he's not going to get turned into a newt but he doesn't want to push his luck.

"Okay, ma'am. I'm going to tell my captain and he'll know what to do but until then you can sleep here. And we won't wake you unless you really really need to go somewhere else." Of to his captain? Still in human form? With all his bits attached?

Permalink Mark Unread

Yep. He will not be a newt tonight, at least not by her hands.

And she will hopefully be free to get some damn sleep.

Permalink Mark Unread

She is not further disturbed.

Permalink Mark Unread

When she wakes up in the morning, however, there is a curious strix leaning over her. The strix has a bat dangling from one of her ears. 

Permalink Mark Unread

This is a bit weird, but it's nice that this one didn't purposefully wake her up. It’s dawn, because even sleep deprived she’s has several centuries of inertia getting up at dawn. Which means she’s had, what, five hours of sleep now? Maybe? That's probably enough to work from.

"Uh, hi," she says, rubbing at her eyes and sitting up.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Hello! Thought knew everybody on roofs here. New delegate?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Oh. Yeah. Druid of Barrowood. Have there been any murders yet?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Nope." Not that she hasn't been tempted. "Archmage forbid." 

Permalink Mark Unread

"Well, good for the archmage," snorts the elf, getting up and rolling up her bedroll to stow it. "Voshrelka, hi. Do you have another language you'd rather I speak than this one, I know it's a bitch to keep up with what the humans insist on. I know Sylvan and Draconic, if either of those are better."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Oh, both of those are fine!" she chirps in Sylvan. "Honestly, the human language is my worst one, I had people to actually teach me the others, I had to learn Chelish by eavesdropping on people."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Oh, you poor soul," says Voshrelka, sympathetically, also in Sylvan. "They didn't think you were people, did they."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Well, the ones in Pezzack have been getting better about that since we helped them kill a lot of Asmodeans, and some of the delegates have decided that if I'm persony enough for the Archmage and the Queen then I'm persony enough for them, but," snort, "back when I was doing my eavesdropping, and the rest of the delegates, no." 

Permalink Mark Unread

"Personhood that only counts when you're on their side and have powerful people back you up. I'm shocked. Shocked." She finishes packing up her stuff, and then begins munching on a berry, and sighs. "Sorry to be a bitch*, I haven't had much sleep. Flew here most of the night."

*The more literal translation is more like 'a sharp unavoidable thorn,' but the idea translates well enough to 'bitch.'

Permalink Mark Unread

"I wouldn't've been offended by that a week ago, let alone after experiencing some of the bitchier human delegates yesterday. Aaaaand one of them's on the committee on forests, which I imagine you'll want to be on, both of the other druids are." 

Permalink Mark Unread

"A committee on forests! Charming. Okay, sure. I'll... do that. How do I be on the committee on forests, will they accept my leaf facial tattoos as proof that I'm a real druid, or do I need to save a wildshape to turn into a bird for them."

She does, actually, have leaf facial tattoos. Along with some scarring that doesn't look quite as intentional.

Permalink Mark Unread

"You don't need to be a druid to be on that committee. I'm not, and Eldest know that bitchy human* girl isn't. I think you just need to sign up but there could be something special you need to do on account of being a day late, I wouldn't know." 

*derogatory

Permalink Mark Unread

"'Kay. I'll check around. Thanks for the heads up, and, uh. Glad you're alive and getting to speak here, that's about the most reassuring thing I could have possibly woken up to. ... Do you think they have coffee in their godsforsaken city, it's the only thing that makes civilization even remotely tolerable."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Oh! Yes! There's a cafe that gives a discount to delegates and does really nice pastries, too. ...Well, I liked them, but I'd never had a pastry before so I suppose everyone else's pastries could be even better." 

Permalink Mark Unread

This interests her! She perks up. "Do you think they'd accept payment in goodberries, human money changes so often I stopped even bothering to carry any."

Permalink Mark Unread

"--Well, I don't know, but they give a stipend to delegates so I have some human money, and I like goodberries." 

Permalink Mark Unread

"I will trade you goodberries for human money," she agrees, even though exchanging human money for goods and services is going to be such an annoying hassle. Here are two goodberries. "These ones will last for the next five days. Seem good enough for enough to pay for coffee?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"For sure." Liushna gives her several silver coins. "I don't use human money back home or anything, so I don't have to save these the way the human delegates do. I guess I might find something that looks useful enough to bring home that I should save up for it, but I haven't, yet." 

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. "I'll let you know if I see anything that might be good for your people. But, uh, druid. If it's not coffee, I'm out of ideas. Anyway. Thanks. Have a good morning, and see you on the forest committee?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Well, see you on the forest committee, but d'you want me to show you to the coffee shop I told you about?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"That'd be great, thanks."

Off they go, then! For coffee!!

(Voshrelka does not need a wildshape or assistance to get off of the roof. She is not going to bird herself into a location she can't get out of while in her natural form, that would just be silly.)