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Mar 21, 2019 10:07 AM
Vampire ninja children. Absolutely nothing could go wrong with this
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"As long as they're bad guys, I guess that's maybe fine - my dad used to catch criminals so Konoha could execute them. And, yeah, I think I'd like help. Konoha's supposed to be strong because of our bonds of friendship."

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"And we could make you strong."

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"Really? How?"

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"So there's two ways of becoming a vampire. You can be born one like us--"

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"--Or we could turn you into one!"

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"I was explaining it!"

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"I do it better. And then not only would you be strong, your clan would be strong because when you grow up, all your babies would be vampires."

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"I'd be as fast as you then? Cool. And my whole clan being strong would be nice. What're vampires like?"

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"Do ninjas get old?"

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"Yeah. All humans do."

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"Not vampires! We just grow up--a bit slower--then we stay young and strong forever!"

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"Wow. So you don't die? I think I want all my precious people to be vampires then..."

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"And if we're hurt, it gets all better so fast. I can regrow a finger in a day!"

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"That's so cool! That must be awesome for fighting. I don't think even the best medic-nin can regrow stuff that fast."

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"We don't get cold, either. Hence the lack of pants."

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"Huh. I think pants are good for more, like sunburn - and mom said something about prop - propree - being a proper lady. And you need clothes to tell people what clan you're from. But if you don't have a clan and you don't get cold it makes sense not to wear them."

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"Don't get sunburnt. But we like the dark. And we can see and hear and smell and everything so much better!"

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"Like the Inuzuka! I can see stuff better with my sharingan than anyone else can, I wonder how that'd work out? Maybe I'll get a super sharingan!"

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In lieu of an explanation, Tabby turns into a kitten.

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"Kitty!"

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Zeke follows suit, nuzzling her leg.

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She scritches the kitties behind their ears. "You're so fluffy! Will I be able to do that? I could sneak up on Itachi as a kitty, and then bam! Vampire ninja!"

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Zeke turns back. "Hell yeah!"

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"A whole team of vampire ninjas!"

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"You could be one of us by sunset!"

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