Sherlock enters Healer Song's office, and sits down, and says nothing.

"Hello, Sherlock," says Healer Song. "I rather suspect Ms. Fish will check on me if I just clear out and let you catch up on sleep again. And I like my job and there's no such thing as tenure for me. So as long as we're here, is there anything you'd like to talk about, or shall I read a magazine?"

"Not as far as I know," says Healer Song pleasantly. "I've never heard of magic that could do it, and on the other hand it's often naturally occurring."

"Yes, so I've heard," he says. It's possible there may be a hint of humour to it, and then again there may not.

"I do regret to inform you that most of the Muggle methods of addressing things will be of no use in a wizard metabolism," says Healer Song quietly. "But perhaps you've already done your own research; as I said, or perhaps merely implied, the reason for this appointment having been made is farcical, so if you don't need to ask any questions, I can see what the Los Angeles Quodpot scene is up to."

"Are there wizard methods?"

"In a word," says Song, "no. I could go into more detail, but ultimately - no."

"Well, that's not as surprising as I'd like it to be," says Sherlock.

Song spreads his hands. "I'm sorry," he sighs.

"It is not your fault," he says. "Unless it is, in which case I am very upset with you."

Healer Song laughs. "I admit nothing."

Sherlock giggles.

Healer Song smiles back.

"Read your magazine, then," he says. "Next time I will bring a book."

"Very well," says Healer Song, and he picks up his magazine from the desk. "I have a handful of books about but I don't know that they'll interest you. You're welcome to them for the duration, in any case."

"It can't hurt to try one, can it?"

"Some people find illustrated medical texts distressing. I'd skip the section on dermatological ailments and their corresponding spells and potions."

Sherlock laughs.

Song winks, and reads his copy of Wizard Sports Monthly.

Sherlock, of course, now that the challenge has been put before him, reads an illustrated medical text.

Healer Song raises an eyebrow at his choice of material but makes no comment.

He actually finds it more fascinating than he expected.

That will pass this hour rather effectively, then, won't it.

Yes it will! He may need to be reminded when the hour has passed.

Healer Song notes the time, when it's time. "You'd be welcome to stay, except Ms. Fish has assigned me more than one patient to occupy my afternoon, and not all of them as preposterously as you," he says. "Do you want to borrow the book?"

"No, thank you," he says. "As long as it is still here next week."

"I doubt anyone is going to wander off with it," says Healer Song. "I shall see you then."

Bella is in their room when he gets there.

"Healer Song is unexpectedly pleasant company," he says.

"That's good, it'd suck if he was awful and you still had to see him all the time."

"He let me read his illustrated medical texts."

"Were the pictures gross?"

"Not especially."

"That's good too, then."

"He advised me not to look at the dermatological ailments, but I hadn't reached that section when I had to go. Perhaps next time."

"I bet a lot of those are icky."

"Probably yes."

"I'm glad he's not being horrible about - the thing, is there a word for it?" says Bella. "Does he know stuff about it beyond just that you're, you know, a boy?"

"He knows that I am a boy. Apparently some of the Muggle solutions to the obvious imminent problem conflict with a wizard metabolism, and there are no wizard ones."

"That sucks."

"It does."

"I would've thought someone could just - wave a wand. There's shapeshifting magic, human transfiguration - doesn't work? Why not?"

"He didn't offer details. I will look into them."

Bella nods. "I'll help, if you want. So will the library elves I bet."

"So will Healer Song, I expect, if I ask him."

"If I eventually decide to be slightly less ambitious I might be a healer when I grow up," says Bella. "Instead of an everything-useful-I-can-think-of."

"Thought of anything else useful so far?"

"Lots of stuff. Did you know there's artifacts that will send you hours back in time?"

"I've heard. They seem dangerous."

"Yes, and you still age during that time, so it won't make you live longer, but if you really needed something done in an objective hurry it'd be handy. It might be possible to do just about the same thing with, like, rapidity potions or something."

"Temporary self-duplication might have some practical applications, for that matter."

"You're not supposed to interact with yourself while you're time-turned. I'm not sure why. It says you'd be confused, but if you don't time-turn to before you got the time turner I'm not sure how that could reasonably happen."

"Perhaps because one of you would already remember the interaction."

"There's that, yes. Maybe you could choreograph the whole thing ahead of time."

"Interesting notion."

"It did say in the book I read about this in that it doesn't cause a paradox if you interact - things always happen the same way the second time you go through a period of time."

"...I should never time travel," says Sherlock.

"Because you'd stress-test that assertion?"

"Yes I would."

"I'd be tempted too, honestly."

"It would be so easy to change small details without affecting the ultimate outcome."

"Unless of course it was impossible after all."

"Yes, but how? Are the laws of magical physics enforced through mind control?"

"It was just a two-page spread on a book about various magical artifacts," says Bella, "I don't know. If I had to guess I'd say it'd work by extremely insistent coincidence." Pause. "Which, I wonder if you could harness that. I should probably also never time-travel except in direst emergency."

He snorts.

"Should I clear out and let you catch up on some sleep?"

"Always appreciated."

Bella scoops up enough objects to entertain her during her exclusion from the room and scurries off.