Oh, this seems perfect.  1 silver piece an hour is affordable by his old means, cheap compared to the Fiducia, and a pittance compared to his stipend and recent assest liquidation.  It's so perfect, if it wasn't a Gnome, Fernando would suspect a trap, but since it is a Gnome, the worst case scenario is that the Gnome's interests aren't actually as advertised and Fernando gets his ear talked off about some inane subject.

"Yes, I have questions.  Mostly about fairness and when loans are fair and when prices are fair vs. unfair."

Fernando lets a bit of excitement into his voice and gets out a silver piece.

"That sounds like an Abadaran question and not a me question."

"I already talked to an Abadaran, and they mentioned insurance and then basically ignored the entire question of ethics.  I already know what actions are Lawful, I want to know what is the dividing line between Evil and Neutral and Good, and how to do better than mere axiology in regards to loans and prices."

Fernando has no idea what 'better than mere axiology' would even mean, but he's gotta hit the Gnome's obsession right to keep him interested.  This also means being more direct and less circumspect about potentially heretical issues, but Gnomes seem to flout society anyway, so hopefully this won't come back on Fernando.

Levrolurment still hasn't looked up from his book. "1 silver piece per hour if you keep pretending to know things you don't know, half a silver piece if you admit your ignorance."

Well, he saw through that quickly.  Half a silver is basically irrelevant compared to figuring out how to be loyal and non obviously Asmodean, so the question is how to keep the Gnome more interested in properly explaining.  Well, it's a Gnome, so there is always the direct approach.

"Which way do I learn more?  Some Gno- uh people don't want to explain the basics and just want to jump in the middle of their favorite parts and it's terrible missing the basics, but their enthusiasm for their favorite parts makes up for it.  So yes, I could barely explain to you what Asmodeanism is compared to everything else, and maybe barely give a single example of something that is Lawful Neutral or Good, but I really don't know much besides that and I would like to learn in whatever order you feel like explaining.  Particularly about non-evil forms of contracts and dealings and loans and price adjustment, but if that is too Abadaran for you, then just explain whatever parts of the non-evil alignments you feel like."

Abadarans generally want to charge way more than a silver or half a silver per hour, or even quarter hour, and Fernando's time isn't that valuable, so an hour of vaguely on topic Gnome rambling is still a good deal, all things considered.

Levrolurment sets aside his book. "In case you're curious, I am significantly more insulted by you thinking I'm an idiot than I am by any negative opinion you might happen to have of me or my species. --There is widespread disagreement about when it is Good to give loans. One popular opinion is that it's never Good to give loans because you're earning money without actually doing any work or providing any value to anyone." 

He's starting to get this Gnome's deal... best to try to avoid flattery and simply says what he thinks with a minimum of flattery and false certainty?

"That doesn't sound quite right to me... but I'm not quite sure how to articulate it, uh" and, no longer carried by false confidence, he stammers a bit "ehm... if there was some Lawful Neutral rate of loaning, and you were charging an interest rate much less than that, it would be giving them something.  And you correctly assessed I don't know much about Good but giving someone something, to benefit them, is Good, right?"

"If there's some Lawful Neutral amount of slavery and you were nicer to your slaves than that would slavery be Good?"

"Maybe, I don't actually know? I sometimes heard Asmodean priests claim that Good people just ended up as slaves to the Good Gods, with just a thin layer of justifications and aesthetics on top.  So if Good Gods can have slaves, maybe there is some level of niceness that makes slavery Good?"

And wow, this conversation has gotten way more heretical than he meant it to, but it seems like the Gnome has answers he needs, and will be offended by obvious lies, so he will just have to risk it.

"Pro-Evil axiologies often hold is that everyone is Evil and therefore you might as well stick with the Evil that is nicer, or whatever. I personally find these axiologies implausible and never defended them myself-- if Good is Evil with a thin layer of justifications and aesthetics, why is Pharasma bothering to sort them into categories? Law and Chaos are very different. --'Axiology' is the study of what is better and worse, which is separate from morality. Good is always morally Good, but perhaps it's best to be Lawful Neutral. Osirians and Arodenites certainly think so."

Wow, hearing the actual definition, that makes his earlier question mentioning axiology completely stupid, doesn't it?  He feels less offended at the Gnome cutting through his bullshit now.

He takes out a notebook, and writes "Axiology => better/worse" just to start giving him some framework for notes.

"So, using these words to make sure I understand them, not because I'm sure I've got it completely right... Prior to the Four Day War people in Cheliax implicitly or explicitly accepted the claim Lawful Evil is better, which is an axiological claim?  And most people would probably claim whatever alignment they are is 'better' except for some people trying for a different alignment?  And the thing were everyone, uh in Cheliax I mean, kind of assumes everything else is just Lawful Evil but worse at it or changing up one thing to count as Good is kind of a result of, uh, the Pro-Evil axiology we were taught?"

An obvious follow up question is what the 'better' alignment actually is... (Lawful Good?) but he'll hold that question for now.

"Mostly true in broad outline, but many people's axiologies are actually disjoint to their alignment. It's not uncommon for Good people to think all systemic alignments of Good are equally axiologically good, for example. Sometimes people favor Erastilian Lawful Good, which is all about tradition and keeping everything the way it is, over Iomedaean Lawful Good, which is all about overthrowing the fundamental nature of reality to replace it with one you like better. And of course many axiologies have nothing to do with gods or alignment at all. I was talking to a very nice wizard the other day whose axiology was that every sapient being should be immortal."

He takes more notes.  He wouldn't have guessed it is often disjoint, or that Lawful Good people often think all Goods (including Chaotic Good) are equally 'better'.  Also, that characterization of Iomedaean Lawful Good makes it sound really awesome and wizardly, maybe he should just get a copy of her holy book and give it a read?

He nods "Immortality seems obviously better, I mean, uh if it is a comfortable form with eating and drinking and non-Evil?  But I guess it opposes Pharasma... does she even have an axiology?  Something in favor of True Neutral?"

He still has his immediate concerns, so he quickly follows up with another question that might get it back to the topic he cares about without giving offense.

"Does pragmatic local reasoning count as an axiology?  Like 'Being Lawful Evil will stop me from being executed for heresy' or 'Being Lawful Evil will make more money in a Lawful country' or 'Being Lawful Neutral will make the second most amount of money while not causing me to be damned'?"

"Pharasmin clerics are mostly concerned with infant mortality and fighting the undead, but to my knowledge she hasn't written any holy books to explain her purpose in creating the universe and sorting everyone into one of nine boxes. --Pragmatic local reasoning falls into the category of axiology but isn't the most interesting kind. Presumably there's some reason you think being executed is bad and money is good." 

He's irritated as having his redirection dismissed but then an idea leaps out to him.

"So yes, my motivation for those things reduces to more fundamental motivations and reasoning... which in turn might be further reducable?  And... leaping ahead... is there a common set of core axioms most axiologies can be reduced to... which stripping them down to identifying you can then reconstruct and expand into a more rigorous, complete, and consistent axiology?"

This is possibly the coolest justification for Lawful Good he could imagine anyone having ever come up with.  Not that it is exactly enough to motivate him to be properly Lawful Good himself, and he needs to check with an actual Good priest that it isn't heresy, but it's still a way to really show his brilliance and loyalty.

Levrolurment beams at him for being a good student. "Many people argue that there is! And they have come up with five hundred different systems for what it could possibly be."

Oh good, he figured it out right.  He hasn't been a good student for almost two decades.

"Do you have a particularly illustrative example system?  And an example that you think is most correct?  And maybe an example that ultimately concludes Lawful Good is better?"

He can steal learn from and appropriately cite the Lawful Good example, and asking for an "illustrative example" and "most correct example" should keep the conversation moving and interesting.

"My favorite Lawful Good system-- which is new and pretty exciting, the gnome responsible is one of my heroes-- is that you should create a set of rules where you'd want everyone else to follow the same rules you do. For example, you shouldn't murder people because you wouldn't want to live in a society where everyone was running around murdering each other. This is Lawful, because you are creating a set of rules that you follow without exception. But it's also Good, because in this situation you would want everyone else to be Good. You want to live in a society where everyone takes care of the old and sick, for example, because you might be old and sick someday." 

"Huh, I'm surprised it's new. It seems logical in an elegant symmetric kind of way, which I assume you would expect from a lawful axiology, and it sounds like you could effectively derive a pretty complete set of rules from a very minimal set of initial assumptions and axioms. Is there a concise treatise written up of it, and if so do you have a copy on you?  Sometime after our talk, I could pay to have a scribe make another copy, with maybe a few more silvers for you for your trouble?"

He is going to do so well at understanding Lawful Good.

"Yes, it really is surprising, isn't it? You are welcome to borrow my copy in order to copy it as long as you pay me a silver for the privilege and promise to give it back."

Levrolurment expects that Fernando will not, in fact, give it back, but feels it is his duty to provide King Drum some enrichment.

"Now, I personally am axiologically Chaotic Good."

He recently made a statement under truthspell of his 'intent to pursue my future dealings fairly and justly', he's not going to rob someone in the course of getting a copy made of a treatise on Lawful Good!

"Often brilliant ideas are hard to discover but obvious in hindsight.  And thank you, yes of course.  Will you be in this coffee shop later today?  Or tomorrow?  Or you could tell me where you are staying for me to return it?  Whatever is convenient for you."  He gets out another silver piece, easily a better value for his money than 1 minute with that Abadaran.

"As to your personal alignment er, uh axiology I mean, I find that interesting.  I would expect, with my very limited thoughts on the matter, that Lawful axiology would be more consistent and logical and symmetric?  But perhaps you've found some asymmetry?  Or logical consistency isn't actually necessary?  Or some angle I'm not thinking of (within my few minutes of thought) on the problem?"

He's actually getting pretty interested in this subject, even apart from trying to appear as an ideal citizen.

"Well, any number of axiologies can be logically consistent. Even 'nothing could make it worth one more child starving, so we ought to free Rovagug and have him devour the universe' is logically consistent. Personally, I feel that each person ought to act to make themselves happiest. Surely everyone can agree that you ought to care about what happens to yourself. And everything else we want we want for the sake of happiness. Happiness alone is self-justifying." 

Wow, even Rovagug cultists can be explained in logical terms.  Could he escape Hell that way?

"I'm surprised happiness alone comes out Chaotic Good, as opposed to Chaotic Neutral, or even Chaotic Evil.  I agree its self justifying, and it at least sounds like a simple, minimal axiom everyone shares.  Maybe so simple I have no idea how you derive anything from it?"

Just being simply happy with no worries is a nice idea, but it feels even more out of reach than achieving greatness or getting out from under his debt.

"Well, in broad strokes, you can look at the kind of people who are happiest and observe what kinds of things they do. But you have to be smart about it. Even if you're happy being Abrogail Thrune, you're more likely to end up one of the people she killed on her way to the throne, and that doesn't bode well for you. --Here I'm talking about the present world and not the afterlives because everyone says their afterlives are the best so it doesn't provide much new information. Except the fact that Evil can't even get its act together to claim its afterlives are nice probably implies something. I personally wrote several papers arguing that Hell was the most pleasant afterlife but my grant didn't get paid out because it was un-Asmodean of me." 

Maybe in other countries that makes sense, but it doesn't seem likely to be true for Cheliax?  Abrograil Thrune probably also killed a lot of Chaotic Good people.

And what the fuck?

"Your grant?  And it wasn't paid for being un-Asmodean?"

He had been starting to assume this Gnome was a foreigner, but apparently he was an ethicist and moral philosopher while living in Cheliax... with grant funding?

"The best, by which I mean only, way to make a living as an ethical philosopher is by writing defenses of Lawful Evil. Asmodeus is willing to sink so many resources into trying to damn people. --Before you ask, I'm from Brastlewark, gnomes have freedom of speech in Brastlewark as long as we don't corrupt the humans elsewhere in Cheliax."

Yeah, he's done what he had to do to make money also.  This Gnome's past is an even bigger liability than his, so after he returns the treatise he needs to never associate or be seen with them again.

"Freedom of speech?  I'm not really sure where to start with asking about that?  Does it -"  oh wait he said Gnomes so it won't work as a backup option to passing his loyalty tests, not that he needs it! "Does it -" and now he's stuttering.  "Yeah, uh, what"

"Freedom of speech means that the government isn't allowed to arrest you for saying things. Or in this case it means that the government is theoretically allowed to arrest you for saying things but is worried that if they'd try it they'd go from 'theoretically allowed to' to 'can't.' Very important ambiguity, that one." 

The political stuff feels even riskier than the alignment stuff to talk about, so he'll try to nudge the topic back.

"That sounds... hmm chaotic?  I'm curious how it works in practice, but I'm also curious about how pursuing happiness doesn't end up making you Chaotic Neutral?  Or wait, is there a disconnect between theory and implementation of your axiology?  Like it says to be Chaotic Good but in implementation you come out Chaotic Neutral?"  

It is common knowledge that Good is too hard to actually achieve unless you're a Paladin or something, but he is going to be somewhat annoyed if that is true even for ethics philosophers.

"Well, as one line of argument, we are social creatures and therefore living a happy life means interacting with others well-- having good friendships, taking care of our children and parents, participating in a well-ordered state such as this constitutional convention will hopefully lay out. So we can ask how we should act in order to have good friendships and good children and so on. And in general you should be kind and cooperative and concerned for the wellbeing of others. So Good."

This sounds like standard Good pabulum?  Where is the math and axioms?  Also, the closest thing Fernando has to friends are a few wizards that tolerate him somewhat across the other side of Cheliax, he hasn't seen his mother in almost two decades, and he never liked his father in the first place.

Fernando doesn't quite keep the skepticism off his face.

"Is that actually your main argument?  And... is this argument saying there aren't actually that many mortals that find happiness from evil stuff, like dominating your enemies?"  Yeah that's bullshit, maybe less bullshit outside Cheliax or in Brastlewark or whatever?  Outside Cheliax is Nidal and he knows it is even more bullshit there.  Well, at least he learned it was bullshit before spending a silver on another treatise or whatever.

"Do you like art or philosophy or theoretical mathematics, or have they banned all that from Chelish wizarding schools and replaced it with Bonus Torture?"

He actually chuckles at that.

"Yeah I like math, even the parts that aren't useful for magic.  I would have avoided philosophy for risk of heresy before the Four Day War, but so far it seems fun in a math kind of way, so I think I'll take up reading some of it.  I don't know if I like art that much?  For art, my school only taught the bare minimum of drawing for spell scribing, the math was mostly focused on wizardy (they told me I wasn't going to be a good enough wizard to need the more theoretical math), and the only philosophy they taught was Asmodeanism"

Ah damn the humor got a bit more honesty out of him than he meant it to.  But he doesn't want to beat his emotions into shape just to minimize every risk, he's enjoying this conversation in a way he hasn't enjoyed any conversation in a long time.

"You can see that it's better to have a life where you study math, right, and see how beautiful it is? Even if someone said 'I'm happy, and my life consists of nothing but drinking and eating and whoring,' he's wrong, there's something better out there?" 

Okay actually he is going to work on repressing his feelings for the rest of this conversation.

"I... yeah."

"So if you add up all the stuff you can enjoy and find happiness in, and do that stuff, that averages out Chaotic Good?"

He still doesn't believe it, one happy torture of an enemy damns you no matter how much you enjoy math and art and whatever happy stuff is out there.

But... a list of Good stuff to do and enjoy sounds helpful for passing his loyalty test, so maybe he will pay another silver for another treatise after all.

"If all you want is to crush your enemies, you're making a mistake, the same way the lecher makes a mistake when he thinks there's nothing to gain but a Charm Person from diagrams and numbers on a piece of paper. And all of Infernal Cheliax is set up to keep you from noticing the mistake you're making."

"So, moving onto the theoretical math part, which I like and am at least sometimes passable on... do you have a list of enjoyable stuff and how much good and evil each item counts for and like percentages on each item and then a total value that comes out Good?  And uh Chaotic too, for that axis?"

Actually, a list with exact evilness and goodness sound perfect for a larger scope 'avoid damnation' plan, but it doesn't sound like it would work for reasons Fernando can't articulate to himself.

"And uh," what was the word, he glances at his notes "uh disjoint.  Is it possible to actually follow this list and actually come out Chaotic Good?  Or at least Chaotic Neutral?  Or do you end up disjointing your axiology and actual alignment?"

Sometimes with Gnomes you have to be direct.

"Are you personally Chaotic Good?"

"Do you think Chaotic Good people generally write Asmodean propaganda?"

"But you used the money to do enough fun and good stuff to cancel out, right?  Did you at least get up to Chaotic Neutral?"

"I don't have a detectable alignment nor do I have any particular reason to care about what it is, gnomes don't get an afterlife."

Wow that makes the bleaching thing worse, but not that much worse than Hell, so Fernando isn't wasting any emotion on sympathy.

"And you don't know of any obscure spells or techniques to determine your alignment even if you are not strong enough for standard detection?"

That might actually be useful for the 'avoid damnation' plan, namely checking his progress on it, but he probably won't get that much progress because even Gnome ethical philosophers know actually getting Good is damn near impossible.

"Not a wizard, catch me in a century or two."

He had hoped there would be something.  Well no guarantee if there was it would be something he could afford in the first place.

"Well, in that case... do you have a list like I mentioned as part of the argument for the axiology?  Good things and evil things with relative happiness and relative effects on alignment?  I guess it's not that practically useful without enough money, but I can appreciate theory also."

And if he ever strikes it absurdly rich he can avoid damnation also!  So two impossible things are down to one impossible thing.  Ha.  His life almost feels like some fucked up morality tale, maybe an Abadaran one?  Do they even have morality tales?  If he is ever absurdly rich, he'll pay an Abadaran and ask.

"So"-- he sketches a diagram on a piece of paper-- "there are various virtues you can cultivate, and they're all the middle, or the golden mean. If you go too far on one end or too far on the other, then you wind up harming yourself or doing something Evil. One you're probably familiar with is courage, which is the middle between cowardice and recklessness. Courage is good-- it's why bravery is one of Cayden Cailean's areas of concern-- but it's so useful that not even Asmodeans manage to stamp it out, as counterproductive to their own goals as they are in general."

He leans over intently to look at the diagram.  He starts to copy it in his notebook, but stops and decides to listen first, so he doesn't miss anything.

"So for the pleasures, you want temperance, which is in between overindulgence and complete abstinence. And for giving money away, you want to be generous, neither stingy nor giving away money you don't have. You want to have proper pride, neither overly humble nor boasting about virtues you don't actually possess. You want to be patient, neither breaking into fits of rage at small slights nor unable to get angry at things that really deserve it. You want to be truthful, neither a liar nor blunt. You want to be just, neither completely selfless nor completely selfish-- give others their due and give yourself your due too."

At least he wouldn't have to go extreme Good under this axiology.  But wait, if its moderate about everything...

"That sounds like true neutral?  If you're moderately between everything?  I thought Chaotic Good would be... I don't know... more overindulgence, like of alcohol?  Which isn't moderate?" 

That is the common complaint about Cayden, right?  And even Good countries don't like excess drunkenness, so he doesn't think complaining about the Drunk is now heretical?

"If alignment were about being sorted between vices of excess and vices of deficiency, then this would be Neutral. But in fact overindulgence in alcohol isn't Good and even Cayden Cailean disapproves of it. Try asking one of his clerics."

"I think I will try to find one of his clerics at some point."  He didn't get the impression there were many.

He turns the sentence around in his head... 'vices of excess'... 'vices of deficiency' he writes that down.

"It sounds like you have some advanced categorization scheme of vices and virtues?  Did you invent that yourself as part of your axiology or is it an older schema?"  There, a touch of flattery.

He copies down more of the diagram now, before he forgets, as he speaks.  And he writes down the key relevant bit of the previous sentence: 'neither stingy nor giving away money'.  He's still not sure how that isn't just neutral.

"It goes back about two thousand years, to the golden age of Taldor."

"That's uh, neat.  Very classical.  Do you have more money related examples in this schema?"

"Vices of excess related to money include investing money in haphazard ways that won't pay you back, spending money you can't afford to make yourself look richer than you are, spending money on flatterers, or blowing all your money on drinking and gambling. Vices of deficiency related to money include never giving away any money even when you can afford it or those who try to earn money however they can regardless of the effects on their own reputation or the wellbeing of others. In this case it's better to be excessive than to be deficient, the profligate are closer to true generosity than the misers."

He takes detailed notes.  This is a part he needs to get down properly.  After taking a moment to get his notes in order, he thinks about his next question.

"Can... can money from a somewhat questionable source given generously the right way come out Good?  Can you give an example that comes up Good and one that still comes up Evil, so I can see the difference?"

"If you earn money somewhat disreputably-- such as by lending money at interest or owning slaves-- instead of very disreputably like stealing or committing fraud or trading slaves, and if you keep your word and never lie, and if you are fair to those weaker then you-- you forgive debts that the debtor absolutely can't pay, you make sure your slaves have food and recreation and rest and never sell them-- then any remaining taint seems to me to be washed away if you give as much as you can afford to a Good church or to the poor."

It was possibly a mistake selling off his loans so quickly, but how was he supposed to know he could break even on Good if he kept them?

"Could you operationalize 'can afford' a bit more?  Is there any equations on income to debts owed yourself to need for money to survive?"

"It would be nice if there were, wouldn't it? But basically you are supposed to want everyone including yourself to have enough food and a place to live and a servant and other such basic necessities."

Well... so much for being Good!

"Do you have an expanded version of that diagram I could have copied?  Or if it isn't that big I could just copy it myself now."

He paid for an hour, but he doesn't see any more actually useful questions.  He kind of wants to ask about politics, but that topic seems more dangerous...

Levrolurment has a number of interesting book recommendations. 

Fernando is happy with book recommendations!  He can read them later alone in a room without mind reading in a room without mind reading, no don't actually think about that.

And getting the titles and authors into his notes.

"Are you generally around here?  For returning the treatise.  I'm not sure how fast scribes are with making copies and I don't have scrivener's chant hung today myself."

He gets up to leave.

"I'll be around, the coffeeshop owner doesn't mind me holding court as long as I pay for my drinks."

Ester tried coffee because it smelled good. It didn't taste as good as it smelled, but it turns out she likes it a lot and they're paying her a damnfool amount of money that she can afford to spend on daily coffee if she wants.

"What does that say?" she asks the is-that-a-halfling about his sign.

"It says: 'ETHICAL and POLITICAL PHILOSOPHY CONSULTATIONS. All questions about the nature of alignments, axiology, constitutions, forms of government, etc. answered.  Personalized advice provided. Cost free to 1 sp/hour depending on how boring your question is. Pricing available in advance.'"

"What the blazes is an axiology?"

"It's a fancy word for some things being better than other things."

"Well, I already know some things are better than other things. What's a constitution, though, is that 'boring'? They hauled us here and didn't care to explain anything about it thus far."

"If I find myself bored I'll start charging you for it. A constitution is a set of rules the government has to follow instead of just doing whatever it feels like."

"Who's liable to make it do that?"

"Well, right now, the archmages who brought us here. I don't know whom they're expecting to take over once they retire."

"If they want to make the Queen do something what business of mine is that, then?"

"I think the idea is that the archmages want to collect all of us together to make a list of things for the archmages to make the queen do."

"Why? There's two due dates I've missed already just traveling here and some six or seven more if the fool thing lasts more than a month! Can't the archmages do their own chores?"

"I think they want the Queen to be limited in ways that the people of Cheliax think are good ideas."

"Couldn't they have sent 'round somebody to post their best guess in the village squares and wait for a letter?"

"Have you seen the pamphlets around here? Literacy appears to cause some kind of derangement. It's a good thing we have some illiterates around because it's our only chance to have a half-decent constitution."

"I only knew I was meant to come because one of the literates told me so. Could've told me too about some politer request."

"Did you get kidnapped-- sorry, sortitioned-- or are you a priest? Or, I guess, were you elected in a county with a very unusual take on whom exactly should steal the election?"

"Pharasmin cleric."

"I'm assuming from your general attitude that you're not going to be able to clarify for me what exactly Pharasma teaches."

"Even the Asmodeans couldn't sideline Her completely. She created the bloody universe and a few more besides and it's down to Her where you go when you get along to your ever after! But I haven't got much in the way of finer points. Babies should be alive, dead people should be dead, in between don't be a terrible nuisance."

"I figured. A lot of people think that if you could get Pharasma to tell us what we ought to be doing then we would have this whole axiology thing squared up, since she created the universe and presumably knows what we should be doing with it. But as far as any Pharasmin clerics are concerned the teachings of Pharasma are (a) don't kill babies (b) don't be undead (c) sort everything in the universe into one of nine boxes. Ethical philosophers on the Pharasmin line tend to go into either fighting undead or astrology."

"Astro-what?"

"Predicting the future from the stars. It doesn't work, but it does offer infinite scope for classifying everything into one of nine boxes."

"Can't predict the future any more. My gran said she used to be able to do it but not after Arodidn't*."

*It is really easy to construct puns like this in English and I am declaring it is similar in Taldane.

"Well, it didn't work even before that, although Aroden's death has definitely increased the popularity of the activity."

"I believe she was using magic but if you told me the stars used to help somehow I wouldn't have any way to say different."

"Anyway, in countries where constitutions make sense as a governing structure, you have multiple powerful groups. Like in Absalom, the government's powerful but so are the university and the guilds and the merchants. And so the constitution makes sure everyone is on the same page about what the government ought to be doing and at what point the merchants are entitled to rebel. I suppose our archmage friends would like a government where the queen is as powerful as the churches, the nobility, the merchants, and... random peasants... I really don't get sortition... anyway. And so they're drawing circles on the ground and hoping the demon will show up.*"

*Common Taldane proverb that means "cargo culting."

"I'm not half sure that I've much in common with any of the other clerics. Maybe the other Pharasmins, I suppose they may all be cranky old midwives just like me, but me and a paladin or some wasp-whisperer only just about breathe the same air."

"Well, I imagine the Pharasmins' collective contribution to the constitution will be that babies should live and undead should not."

"If it's so obvious as that we could have stayed home."

"You might need to persuade people to pay attention. The pamphlets inform me there's a vampire count."

"A what! What did she replace half the nobles for to leave a vampire lying around? I've heard she killed the bleeding Tarrasque!"

"Well, people writing the pamphlets do seem to make things up a lot. But if this is a problem, you see why you might have to tell the Queen not to do that."

"I suppose if she's done such a ridiculous thing I can tell her otherwise, yes, if only there's a way to get a word in edgewise around all those hundreds of other folks."

"Do you have any more questions for me about philosophy?"

"I don't actually know what philosophy is neither."

"--you know that's a very good question. To me, philosophy is the study of everything we don't understand well enough to put in a different category. Magic isn't philosophy because we have some idea of how magic works. Same for history. But where life came from or how gods work or how we know anything at all, those are philosophy."

"Are you trying to tell me you don't understand how you know things?"

"It turns out to be a surprisingly complicated question."

"I was half-tempted to ask how one goes about learning to read if they didn't when school-aged but I think perhaps you're right about it causing derangement." She snorts and walks away.

A gnome! From Brastlewark! That's practically just two counties over. And he wants to sell her cheap facts about Cheliax, and he is probably gnomish enough for these not to be lies!

She will stop at Levrolurment's table. "Hello. I was raised in an isolated location by people hiding from Asmodeus, and now I'm a noble and don't really know much about Cheliax. How interesting is telling me what the moral and philosophical principles preached and practices pre-liberation actually were?" She hopes that the question of what is up with her will be interesting enough that it is free or cheap.

"Half a silver. Two copper if you explain to me what's up with you."

Aha! She provides two copper. "My grandfather's a wizard. The Asmodeans didn't kill him enough in the war to stop him, but did enough so he played dead. After a while he came back, dominated the Asmodean replacement count, and started secretly rebuilding resources for a war that turned out to be completely unnecessary, but we his family all stayed out of the way so the inquisitors wouldn't notice we existed and therefore that he existed." All this is completely true even if it leaves out important information about how her grandfather is actually doing everything.

"So what's your philosophical or religious situation?"

"I mostly worship Abadar and Irori? I think we should put things back the way they were before Asmodeus took over? I don't think I have philosophical convictions other than that Asmodeus trying to damn everyone in my home country to Hell is bad. That one seems pretty easy."

"Awww. I thought you'd be part of an interesting cult."

She's not part of a cult! Her grandfather wouldn't accept that. "Do you have other questions as part of your pay or can you tell me about the horrible things everyone in Cheliax believes now?"

"As I answer questions about Cheliax can you flag to me any philosophically interesting differences from your upbringing? In case you're in a cult and didn't notice." 

"... Probably? Isn't being in a cult about worshipping dark gods that want to destroy creation? I think that would be hard to miss, since I am opposed to dark gods and to the destruction of creation."

"'Cult' as in a small group with deeply unusual religious beliefs. Not all cults are Evil! Most of them don't even want to destroy creation. Sometimes they think Asmodeus is a Chaotic Good catgirl."

"... Why?"

"The person from Holomog that I talked to believes she's a sharp-tongued lawyer, proud of her clever contracts that right wrongs and humiliate the powerful. Sort of a trickster figure."

Aspexia-Isona Raimon i Vilar will boggle for a moment.

"So, uh. Cheliax. What don't I know?"

"The farmers mostly aren't especially Asmodean." 

"That sounds like good news." She's pretty sure the farmers in Mequinenza are about the way they were when her father was alive, which is probably the way they were back before that, but that might have something to do with the suspicious tendency of Asmodean clerics to end up very lightheaded and succumb to a mildly disproportionate number of diseases if they try to actually take being an Asmodean cleric seriously.

"- What is Asmodeanism? Does anyone actually believe it?" 

"Asmodeanism teaches that free will was a mistake and everyone should obey Asmodeus until they become perfect instruments of his will so it's like free will doesn't exist anymore. They should choose Asmodeus to do this about because Asmodeus will always win because he's the most powerful of the gods. I... suspect that Asmodeanism is believed about as much as any other set of beliefs? Most people don't follow their philosophies very closely." His tone is disapproving.

"That sounds less stupid than I was expecting. But doesn't Asmodeus try to send everyone to Hell so they're tortured forever?"

"If you're a good servant of Asmodeus, you won't be tortured in Hell, or at least nearly as much. But if you rebel against him you will be tortured endlessly. Or so they say."

"That really doesn't sound like a very good philosophy when you can just not be Lawful Evil."

"They argue that nearly everyone winds up Evil, so your best hope for a good afterlife is to try to please Asmodeus so your Hell experience is okay."

"Ah. But most people in fact end up Neutral so this is just Asmodeus lying a lot?"

"I have no idea and I don't trust anyone who says they do."

"So, what does that mean in practice about how they do things? Do they try to put 'you should be an object' into practice somehow?"

"They are enormously fond of hierarchy and want everyone to be constantly scheming to keep their place in the hierarchy or to get the next level up. It's amazing how cruel and vicious a person can be if they have the right to wear ivory buttons and those below them can only wear silver."

"Why? How does that connect to 'you should do what you're told?' How do you start with the philosophy saying 'you should do what your superiors want' and end up with 'you should plot to replace your superior?'"