He watches the kobold approach with a look of suspicion on his face, the kind he reserves for those he does not know or trust and nearly everyone else. One of Élie's special projects, no doubt, he thinks to himself. The wizard had such odd views on how participation in government should work, and who should be among those participating. This meant the cast of characters trickling into the city for this convention were quite colorful—sometimes literally. Even the ones that were only human.

The sewer kobolds were not exactly a secret, but still, it was a surprise that one of them had apparently made the journey to outside to attend. The surprise isn't visible on the Inquisitor's face—the scowl is more or less permanent and unchanging. But the presence of one of their species was not something he had counted on. Elie would be happy though. Just as well. It's his convention and his country.

He winces internally. Not only his. Shawil was tied up with it now too. He isn't quite certain about the whole thing. He thinks it might be some sort of revenge by Alfirin. But it was framed as a duty and an opportunity, and he is nothing if not bound to rise to the occasion for both of these.

Right now, in this moment, that takes the form of welcoming this kobold. "Greetings," he says in Taldane, making an effort to hide any trace of an accent. "I am Shawil. Are you your community's chosen representative for the convention?" he asks.

Kicharchu doesn't know all of those words! "I am Kicharchu!" they say. Probably an appropriate remark for any situation where you're openly interacting with somebody instead of hiding in their rafters waiting for them to go to sleep. "I am here to everybody talking about everything! Me, I am everybody!"

Oh joy.

"Yes. You certainly are," he says quietly. His face never changes expression. "Greetings, Kicharchu. Where have you come from?"

"Kobolds live in the sewers thousands of them worse than rats," says Kicharchu very seriously. The words are all strung together, like they think it's a few big words, kobolds liveinthesewers thousandsofthem worsethanrats.

He nods solemnly, greeting the diplomat. "Of course. We are glad you could come. I am certain your contributions will be most welcome." There is no hint of sarcasm in his voice.

"Just a moment. Let me introduce you to the person responsible for everybody talking about everything."

Élie, he says in the Telepathic Bond. I have a dignitary here for the convention you should meet. Someone important. West entrance.

Knowing the inquisitor, there's even odds it's the archduke of somewhere-or-other or the boy about the whitewash in the new hall. Of course, he lives in hope. It's very likely all the archdukes are busy. 

Half a moment. He teleports. 

"Hello! Are you the human of the great work of everybody talking about everything?"

blink blink blink

"Why, yes! I am the human! What is it you're wishing to talk about?"

"Everything! I am everybody too! I am Kicharchu."

"...You know," he says slowly, "You're perfectly right. It was my oversight not to have thought of it. The question is, are you a Chelish everybody?"

Meanwhile, he addresses the general telepathic bond. I've got a kobold at the door, and I do believe he's asking to be admitted as a delegate.  

Kicharchu tilts their head. "I walked here," they reply, in case that's helpful information.

It is helpful information! "And how long did you walk?"

"Not long! We are down, not overthehillsandfaraway."

"He's from the sewers," he volunteers helpfully.

Was he elected somewhere? Alfirin asks from halfway across the city.

Is it Chelish? Naima asks, from Vudra.

He is Kicharchu. He is an everybody. From the sewers, he explains.

He's local, and he can hardly be the delegate from Westcrown unless she went in for a surprise reincarnate in the past six hours. 

"Kicharchu, did your – people – choose for you to come here?"

"They wanted me to stay with them, but I said, no, I will go to the place of the great work!"

Thanks Shawil, that explains everything.

You're welcome, he replies. Elie is working on finding out more.

The Inquisitor has never wanted his companion to be the one conducting an interrogation more.

"I see." 

He seems to have elected himself. 

A creature of initiative. You've got to respect it.

Oh, I'm inclined to let him in. I think he would be – educational. 

Agreed.

He nods without expression. He's never played poker, but he'd be quite good at it.

As a policy, we don't accept volunteers. But in this case I think you should let it in, and then tell me how annoyed the Andorans camped outside are about it.

We should probably make some sort of basic attempt to verify that he is what he says he is. Inquisitor? 

You want me to find out if he's really Kicharchu? Or just that he's actually a kobold? Or if he's actually from the sewers?

All of the above. ...Possibly if he intends to eat anybody. 

Who among us has never eaten anybody, really.

Eating the other delegates is strictly forbidden.

"Kicharchu," he says sternly, turning his gaze on the kobold. "Do you intend to eat anyone here?"

"No, no, no. You have already seen me!"

Well there you have it, he says, mostly to Elie.

Anything else?

Seriously, though, you should check if it's a human. I turned at least two people into kobolds yesterday.

I think that's a very interesting philosophical question. Certainly he's a kobold now. Can one not become a naturalized citizen of that nation as much as anywhere else? 

This will rapidly stop being funny if next week you get dozens of volunteers claiming to represent the interests of hobgoblins and nagaji, all of whom are actually human barons who only stand because nobody has had time to investigate accusations that they celebrate their birthdays by having eight year olds torn apart by starving dogs.

Fine. Inquisitor, ask him if he's always been a kobold. 

"Kicharchu. Have you always been you? Have you ever been something other than what you are?"

"I was an egg. Eggs are different. They cannot move or talk notevenslightly."

He nods. "This is true. And are you now or have you ever been a noble of Cheliax?"

"If I am nobodytoldmeso."

He turns to the wizard.

Did we, by chance, make him a noble without telling him?

Not yet. 

Well he's not a noble. Unless, I suppose, Naima also wiped his memory and gave him a new one.

Naima... he begins.

Why would I erase someone's memory and then tell you to cross examine them? Some of us don't have time for -

Look, I'm satisfied. Wave him in and sit him ... somewhere. Elected. I guess.

"Kicharchu" – he says very solemnly – "It is my great honor to inform you that you are officially the elected representative of the district of – subterreanean Westcrown. I hope to see you acquit yourself with virtue and honor in her service." 

That sounds affirmative! "Yesthankyoukindly! How do I do the Great Work please?"

"That's a very good question. I'd love to tell you all about it, but I'm really very busy. I'm sure the inquistor here can introduce you to your colleague from Westcrown."