Now, where is this "Eights" they've heard so much about?

Mm nom nom.

"Anna! Sandy!" says Stella. "Well, I wasn't expecting that, but I should've."

"Do I know you?" says Eights. "I really don't think I know you."

"I know I don't know 'em," says Chainsaw, pointing his fork thoughtfully at each of the visitors in turn.

"Oh, not you specifically, but there's alts of you in my world. They work for me."

"Speaking of alts," says Nathan, "Eights, assuming it hasn't been a few thousand years since I skipped town, you might remember me talking about my world's empress? These are alts of hers."

"No, you, I remember you," she says, nodding. "And you," this to the Bells, "I think I took a contract for somebody with that face once. The question that desperately needs answering right now is, what the fuck are you all doing here?"

"Oh, we don't like the way this place is set up and intend to fix it," says Stella. "The one you met is Shell Bell. She got caught by a torturer who kept her in his basement for a quarter-century and is not accompanying us for obvious trauma-related reasons. Me and Juliet are here to discuss how to present this to the population, assuming we can do anything about the admin."

Speaking of fixing the place, what will it take to fuck up torturer's control permanently, Downsidewide?

Timely, too, because Chainsaw is smiling in a not particularly friendly way and ahem-ing like someone who sees a problem with this plan.

"Why don't you tell me how, exactly, you intend to fix the place."

"Well, first of all, this being dead thing is a bad deal. Shell Bell went home, for instance." (She's not going to bring up Juliet; not if they don't know yet how that information can be used.) "We'd like to send other people home insofar as we can. That's going to be easier to keep under control in Bell-operated worlds, but we'll figure it out for the others as best we can. People who don't meaningfully have homes to go to anymore - if it's been a hundred years since they died, say - or who don't miss where they came from should at least get to exist in an environment free of people randomly exercising body-control powers for nonconsensual amusement. We have nothing against consensual amusement, so whatever you and Eights do when you aren't having pancakes together is fine - assuming you are a Sandy and an Anna and don't just look remarkably alike and have suspiciously likely professions. We might move some people who don't want to go home per se but don't like it here even with that issue patched into our worlds. I can terraform a few solar systems for 'em, I'm probably best set up to take the immigration - Shell Bell or Amariah or Golden could set up to match, I guess, Aegis might be able to fold some in, but I'm the one who's already colonizing space."

"Question. Who the fuck are Sandy and Anna?"

"And does anybody else want pancakes?" adds Eights.

"I'll take some pancakes," laughs Juliet.

"Sandy and Anna are people from my world who look like you and Eights, respectively, and they're on my payroll. They help me with magic stuff. Sandy lives on a Jovian moon, designs buildings with spare magic, there's a giant chess set, he's got four surprisingly realistic imaginary friends, gets along famously with my boyfriend who is an alt of someone you met not long ago, does any of that sound about right to you?"

Eights serves up a plateful of pancakes for Juliet. They are tasty and warm.

"I meet a lot of people," Chainsaw says dryly. "I guess I don't get along with most of 'em. What's his relationship with power tools?"

"I don't involve myself in the details," Stella says archly. "My guess is that it would be a friendly-like relationship."

Mmm, pancakes. "Thanks!"

"Then I bet you've got the right guy," he says. "So what are you gonna do about it?"

"Nothing in particular. It does mean that if we successfully take over and you have something to say to one of us you've got a better-than-average chance of queue-jumping," shrugs Stella. "Since someone of your template's in with someone of ours."

"Amariah and Aegis are covering the catacombs, but maybe we should scope out the wakeful population for alts," muses Juliet. "If nothing else we should tap the Sherlock that Shell Bell found."

"They're talking to the admin," Nathan reports a moment later. "We'll see how far they get with that, I guess."

"Not far, I bet," sighs Eights.

"Well, I don't know, the ones who started out alive are still alive," he shrugs.

"I guess that's a start."

"I'd ask for a pancake, but I no longer eat solid food," Nathan says after a bit of an awkward silence.

"What do you eat?"

"Conjured synthetics. Occasionally human blood, since I've got a source who won't die of the loss. I am, you see, a vampire again."

...Eights looks speculative.

"I'll be happy to show you sometime," Nathan adds.

She beams.

"Can I watch?"

"Now why would I do that?"

Eights rolls her eyes.

Good times to take a bite out of Eights are pretty much concentrated in the near future, on whatever scale; good times to ask Jane to get him the hell out of here vary much more widely, and don't correlate obviously with the bitey moments.

"All right, then, if you like." Pause. "I have something of a guess about what Stella employs Sandy to do. You just wanna watch?"

"What," he inquires, "does Stella employ Sandy to do?"

"The Bella contingent has serious magic, with the little wrinkle that it is made out of pain. I think from how Stella was phrasing things that her Anna and Sandy share a job description with the Joker back in my world. Him you met. Actually, you managed to kill him."

"I remember the Joker," says Chainsaw with a fondly reminiscent smile. "And no, I don't wanna do anything but watch."

"Although if you guys ever wanna go on a double date," Eights puts in, "I know I'd be game."

Nathan laughs. "Noted. You wanna say when, Eights, or you want a surprise?"

"I like surprises," she says brightly. "Your Joker and I have that in common."

"Oooooh," says Chainsaw. "Nice."

Nathan's not overwhelmingly thirsty and Eights isn't magically delicious. He's a little delicate about it, makes an effort not to stain her shirt, the venom can burn a little before she torches.

He ruffles her hair. "Fun times?"

"Neither did I, I was somewhat surprised that the end result didn't involve one party curbstomping the other. Apparently the admin is 'surprisingly reasonable for the literal inventor of Hell'."

Chainsaw snickers.

"They're talking details now. I can relay design input if either of you have any after all."

"Not me," snorts Chainsaw.

"What kind of details?"

"Oh, they want people who died only recently to be able to go home if they want, like I did, they want to handle duplication problems like the one I had, they're going to get a building, I think they've already rendered both of your jobs redundant, that sort of thing."

"I'm all in favour of making my job redundant!" says Eights.

"But then what will I do for fun?" says Chainsaw.

"Me," says Eights.

"There you go, happy retirement plans," says Nathan.

Eights giggles.

Chainsaw snorts.

"I suspect that at least Eights will have a stack of employment offers from the various Bells, though. Or they'll decide that only one of them should offer you a job between themselves, instead. Perhaps the new one."

"Mm. Fun jobs?"

"For you? The most fun."

She glances at Chainsaw.

He smirks.

"If Stella's got Sandy on her payroll I'm sure somebody will be willing to consider you even if you present yourselves as a package deal," shrugs Nathan. "If you promise to behave yourself. Bells are not friends to mayhem."

"There you go then."

Om nom pancakes.

Nathan laughs. "I think I'm redundant at this point. You've been introduced to some Bells, I'm just standing around conspicuously not partaking of pancakes. I think I'll go home."

"You could partake of me some more," Eights suggests cheerfully.

"Aah, I'd get a bellyache," laughs Nathan. "But I'll suggest double-dating to the lovely mother of my child, shall I? And it can be a dinner date."

"Awwwwww, you guys are so sweet together, you know that?"

"I do know that," grins Nathan. "You'd love our kid, too, he's three months old now, looks like he's three years and talks better than half of grownups."

"Do you know how long it's been since I've even seen a three-year-old? But I'm sure your kid is adorable. Anyway, yeah - double date, let me know."

"See you 'round," says Nathan.

Obligingly, Jane puts him back in Milliways.

Where the Joker snuggle-attacks immediately.

Aww! Snuggles!

"We should have a double date with those two, I love 'em."

"We can look them up after Downside shakes out."

"Let's!"

Kiss kiss. "Damn, they are giving Jane a lot of hardware."

"Mini-me over there is the father of God," he giggles.

"The Holy Ghost," suggests Nathan.

He cracks up.