She doesn't seem to have line of sight on him, but she tenses visibly when he looks at her.

God but he hates her. She's just a human. A non-magical fucking human. He could tear her apart. He wants to. It would be very satisfying. The Joker might even forgive him for it. (He wants to.)

"What the hell are you looking at?" he snarls. (As though he weren't staring holes through her mask a moment ago.)

"What," she asks, very evenly, "is your problem with me?"

"He still loves you. You hate him, and he's my mate, and however much he loves me he still loves you, and you never deserved him."

She scowls.

"I have never hated anyone as much as I hate you for that," he hisses. "I've killed people for less, I've killed people I didn't hate at all, and I wish to God I could kill you now, but it would upset him, and maybe if I'm very, very lucky, I will actually lose control of myself in a way a lie-detector can verify for him later and you won't go on existing. God, I hate you."

"Your mate terrorized my city," she snaps. "He tortured a man to death on camera and sent the video to the news. He burned a witness alive. He fed a rival to his own dogs. He's sick."

"He wanted your fucking attention," Nathan growls. "When that was finally off the table he was perfectly happy to settle in with me. Sweet as you please. You think I would've cared if he wanted to go on doing that? I wouldn't, I can't fall out of love with him no matter what and I've certainly got my own body count just because I was thirsty, and you know what he does when he gets unconditional love and magic powers? He settles in and raises a baby and solves random acquaintances' problems with magic and has ludicrous amounts of sex! I actually want him and it kills me that you got to him first."

She can't quite stop the look of disgust that passes over the visible part of her face at 'ludicrous amounts of sex'.

"Oh, get over yourself."

She growls. Impressively, for a human.

Nathan is not capable of responding right now.

[What is it?] she replies after a moment's delay.

[I went to Milliways with Nathan and while I was sleeping he turned into a statue and I can't unstick him with hexes. Could you help, please?]

She teleports into place without further ado. "A statue? Show me."

He steps out of the way and lets her see Nathan, still standing there just the way he was when the Joker found him, but now only about three feet from the doorway.

"...It looks like he starved to death. How could he possibly have starved to death?"

"I don't know," says the Joker, spreading his hands helplessly. "I was sleeping. I came downstairs and there he was. Can you fix him?"

"Then I'll make one of those," he says immediately. "I want my sweetie back."

Golden nods once. "...Haven't got an agony beam, don't want one, here." She wishes him a little device that vaguely resembles a digital egg timer. "Your own portable version. An evil is one hundred thousand units."

Declaw-and-

"Wha?"

"I died? The last thing I remember I'd just stood up... and then I was very hungry for just a moment."

"Goldie said it looked like you starved," he says, and spends three hexes to give Nathan regenerative powers comparable to his own.

"How the hell did I starve? How long was I standing there?"

"Was anyone who's around now around then, Nathan?" asks Golden. "We could ask -" When he shakes his head, she says, "Well, what were you doing?"

"Arguing with the fucking Batlady," growls Nathan. "She snarled at me, I snarled back, I stood up - and - what you saw."

"But she hasn't got any sort of magic," says Nathan helplessly, hugging the Joker back, "has she?"

"I'd say she's down one," says the Joker. "Oh, sweetie, she killed you. I'm sorry. I love you so much."

"I love you," murmurs Nathan. "I'm fine, babe, I'm fine now."

He presses his face against Nathan's shoulder for a moment, then glances back at Golden. "Thanks," he says softly.

"You're welcome," says Golden levelly. "I believe I will leave a strongly worded note for this Batlady at the bar."

"Don't let me stop ya," he says wryly, cuddling Nathan some more.

A few seconds after Golden finishes writing, a young woman in a tank top and yoga pants with her hair in a ponytail emerges from the stairwell.

She freezes on the spot, looking from Golden to Nathan and back again.

"...Of course it is," the Joker murmurs, wrapping his arms around Nathan again and leaning into him. "Hah."

"You murdered my friend," Golden says in her pleasant bell-like voice, just shy of a purr. "You murdered a man with a three-week-old son at home. You murdered one of the people who, at significant personal risk and cost, was essential to my deposing a government that was responsible for the deaths of thousands of people per day. The only reason he's alive again is that I pulled out all the stops and deployed a level of magic that has been used exactly once before. Would you like to explain to me why I had to do that?"

"I stood up," Nathan growls. "I got out of my seat. I wasn't going to kill you because that would've made him upset. And you started the conversation."

She ignores him.

"It'd be fair, at this point," growls Nathan. "Turnabout."

"Sweetie," the Joker sighs. "Sweetie, no."

...The look she gives them is composed of equal parts puzzlement and loathing.

Nathan hides his face in the Joker's shoulder. "She'd've half-orphaned our baby," he mumbles.

Golden wishes the hex onto her bandolier. "I think I'm going to stand here until you or they leave," she says mildly to Roberta.

"I know, honey," the Joker says soothingly. "But you're fine now, and I love you, and I don't want you to hurt her. Okay?"

"Can't now, anyway," mutters Nathan, "she's gone. God. I love you."

"Not home, not yet, I need a while," Nathan says.

Golden teleports up to the Belltower to write in the note.

The Joker teleports himself and Nathan back to his room and snuggles into bed.

Nathan just holds his mate quietly.

The Joker curls up with him, wishes away his clothes and knives as an afterthought, pulls up a blanket for extra snuggle factor, and settles into comfortable silence.

"How can you love her? I don't understand it," mumbles Nathan.

"Do you want me to explain?" he asks gently.

"Yeah."

Nathan's arms tighten fractionally around him. "And then she killed me and nothing changed?"

"I might kill her if I see her again," says Nathan quietly. "I'd try not to. I don't want to make you sad. But I might."

"Do you want me to stick close when you're in Milliways? So I can remind you not to, if you see her again?"

Nathan hesitates, then nods once. "You can stop me without killing me, at least," he says mirthlessly.

"I can drag you up here and distract you," he suggests, with a tentative smile.

"Mm. Distractions," murmurs Nathan. "...Babe. What if we'd brought Kerron in here? The way she looked at you - I don't have a fragment of a clue what she'd do if she met your son."

"She wouldn't hurt him," he says. "She might... try to take him away for his own good. But she wouldn't hurt him."

"She can't have him."

"I know, sweetie," he says. "You could scoop him up and run away, and I could scoop him up and teleport away, and even if he came here by himself, I bet he could get away from her just fine. We made ourselves a smart little munchkin."

"...He might bite her," Nathan points out.

Nathan does not appear to think this is funny.

"Awwwww, sweetie." The Joker hugs him. "What's wrong?"

"Don't like the idea of her turning. I don't want her hurt bad enough to want her to get to be a vampire out of it."

"Well, what do you wanna do about it?"

"Make sure Kerron knows not to bite humans," says Nathan wryly. "He could already jump high enough to reach a doorknob if he wanted to and we don't watch him twenty-four hours a day. Maybe Milliways will like him as much as it likes Elspeth."

"We could magic him unvenomous, too," he points out with a shrug.

"...I suppose. Just until he's older. It might affect his senses of smell and taste, but female half-vampires get along all right."

Cuddles.

"Love you," he murmurs.

"I love you. So much."

He smiles. "I know, honey."